Heidi Martin's Blog, page 4

The Celebration of Women

Mother's Day provides an opportunity for us to celebrate the important women in our lives – the women who nurture us, support us, encourage us, and love us through all of life’s circumstances. But even more importantly, these women – even if they don’t have children of their own – empower us to be the best people we can be. For many of us, these women are our mothers, and they play a vital role in our lives. When we need something, our mothers are there. But for others of us, this important role may be filled by aunts, sisters, grandmothers, teachers, friends, or neighbors. No matter who these women are, they help shape who we become. They are our biggest allies and supporters.

In my life, I am lucky enough to have a mother, sister, aunts, grandmothers, in-laws, and friends who support me along my journey. These women play a crucial role in my social and emotional development as well as help me cultivate a strong connection with my inner self. They encourage me to reach for my dreams and never stop believing in myself. Because of them, I am who I am.

As we celebrate the women in our lives, we must remember that they play many different roles in our society. They are mothers, leaders, sisters, grandmothers, students, friends, daughters, and workers. Each of these roles brings different responsibilities and expected behaviors. Women shift into and out of these roles on a regular basis. Sometimes they are mothers who listen and nurture their children while other times they are leaders who motivate and address large groups of people. Their roles are always changing and evolving. They are assertive, independent, kind, compassionate, and understanding. But, they can’t always do it all. Sometimes they need a break, and that’s where we can help. We can offer our support by doing the dishes or listening to them over a cup of coffee. The women in our lives need to feel supported and appreciated. We can help make that happen.

For centuries, women have been revered and celebrated in cultures throughout the world. But sadly, in some areas, this celebration of women has diminished over time. But it doesn’t have to remain that way. Women offer a unique perspective and make a difference in so many ways. Whether they encourage a friend in need, conduct research, read a book to their children before bed, or design the architectural blueprints for a skyscraper, they impact the world simply by being who they are. Their nurturing and kindness helps make the world a better place. We are on this planet to support one another, so let’s openly celebrate the vital roles women play in our lives.

This week, think about the women who played important roles in your life. Did they support and encourage you? Did they make a difference in your world? If so, express your gratitude to them this Mother's Day. Whether they are your mother or your teacher or your friend, tell them the difference they are making. The women in our lives matter, and we want them to know. Offer your support by weeding the garden, sending them a card, or taking them out to a nice dinner. Show them you care and that you support them in all that they do.

And if you are a woman, remember your own importance in the world. Be who you are, and live out your life’s purpose. Celebrate your awesomeness, find connection, experience empowerment, and recognize the huge impact you are making in this world every day. Reach for your dreams and never stop believing in you!

Relax and Renew

This past week, I went on vacation with my family to South Carolina. With its sandy beaches and lush palm trees, it was a picture-perfect place. But what I loved the most was our trip to Bulls Island. This remote island north of Charleston is part of the Cape Romaine Wildlife Refuge and is only accessible by boat. It is undeveloped and is truly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. We arrived at the landing on Tuesday morning just before 9 a.m. and walked down the long wooden pier. Boarding the small ferry, we were excited for our upcoming adventure. On our way over to the island, we learned about oysters and their importance to the estuary. We also got to see some amazing wildlife – egrets, oyster catchers, and a baby dolphin that swam in the water alongside the boat. Once the ferry was docked, we stepped onshore and began our hike through the wilderness to the sandy beach that was located on the opposite side of the island. The sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky, and we breathed in the fresh air, eager for whatever treasures we might discover along the way. (My kids were desperately hoping to find unbroken sand dollars, so they could take them home as souvenirs.) As we strolled along the grassy path, we soon came upon three alligators sunning themselves. But our arrival didn’t seem to bother them – in fact, they didn’t even move. Our captain had explained on the ferry ride to the island that alligators don’t eat people; they only eat things they can swallow whole. However, we decided to give these alligators a wide berth just in case. As we walked around them, I was amazed at the alligators’ ability to bask in the sunshine and not let our presence distract them. They were completely relaxed and calm, totally indifferent to our existence. They were doing exactly what they needed to do – soak up the sun’s warmth.

We continued our hike until at last we reached the beautiful and pristine beach. Miles and miles of sand stretched out along a gently rolling surf. With the warm wind blowing across our faces, we admired the breathtaking view. Strolling along the deserted beach, we found whole sand dollars and unbroken whelk shells glistening along the entire shore. It was a beachcomber’s paradise! We gathered up our shells and sand dollars, laughing as we noticed the tiny crabs scurrying toward their holes in the sand and disappearing from view. They were so fast! Relaxing in the sun, we enjoyed each other’s company. And once our time on the island was finished, we were sad to leave but also felt refreshed and happy. Getting away from all of life’s distractions had brought us closer together. Maybe there really was something to this idea of soaking up the sun and taking time to renew. Perhaps we could all use a little more of it – a bit of downtime to give us a fresh perspective on our lives.

Downtime helps us see the world differently. It enables us to appreciate the things around us that sometimes we are too busy to notice. All too often, we become consumed with our “daily grind,” feeling worn out and exhausted. And our constant dependence on electronic devices doesn’t help. They are a big distraction, sometimes causing us to “check out” from our own families. That is why taking time away from everything, including our electronic devices, to rest and renew is so essential. When we are away from life’s many distractions, we can experience the world in entirely new ways. We can smell the sweet fragrance of jasmine flowers that bloom in the spring, taste the salty essence of the fresh sea air upon our lips, and hear the melody of the cardinal’s song in the early morning light. These are the little things that help make the world beautiful.

Downtime can be as simple as taking a mini vacation or spending some time alone in nature. It doesn’t have to happen in a far off place or be at an expensive resort. Taking a day trip to the beach or hiking in the mountains can be all the renewal you need. There is something about the beauty of nature that helps people feel at peace. It centers them. Rachel Carson, author of “Silent Spring,”wrote: “Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature -- the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.” The renewal that nature provides is a strong and powerful resource for us all.

A friend of mine recently helped me see the importance of renewal in a whole new light. She had spent a month in Australia and was sharing the differences between American and Australian cultures. She said, “In America, we live to work while in Australia, they work to live.” She went on to explain the importance of taking holiday and spending time with family in the Australian culture. She viewed it as an attractive and refreshing idea – one Americans should perhaps consider. So, my question to you is: which do you do? Do you “live to work” or “work to live?”

This week, schedule some downtime to relax and renew. Whether that means vacationing to an exotic place or walking along the trail in a nearby wood, take time away from life’s many distractions. Turn off your cell phone or your iPad and observe the world around you. Do you see the daffodils blooming or hear the wind whispering through the trees? Breathe in the fresh air and appreciate nature’s simple beauty. Spend some time along a sandy shore and bask in the sun like the alligators. Slow down and renew. Discover whether you prefer the idea of “working to live” or “living to work.” Gain a new perspective and do it often – as often as you can. It may just change the way you see the world!

The Power of Connection

This past week, I had the opportunity to meet an amazing woman. She is from California and is taking an online course with me. We were randomly paired up for an activity and from the moment we began talking, I felt an instant connection with her. During our time together, we shared stories about our lives as though we had known each other for years. After our class was over, we continued to email each other for the next few days. We shared our life experiences openly and honestly – both the good and the bad. But, the best part was that I communicated my innermost feelings without fear of judgment. We provided each other with a safe space where both of us could express ourselves. We honored each other and spoke our own truth. For me, that’s what connection is all about.

Connection plays an important role in our lives. But so much of the time, we are overwhelmed and exhausted with our daily tasks and responsibilities. We crave a connection with others as well as ourselves, but we simply can’t fit it into our schedule. Soon, we feel isolated and alone. Our lives just seem to be missing something. We long for connection.

Connecting with ourselves is essential for our well-being. Our inner voices want to be expressed – they want to be heard. So, finding a quiet space where we can reflect and center our spirits is so important. In that safe space, we face our biggest fears and celebrate our greatest joys. We are completely honest with ourselves – no hidden agendas. When we do this, we begin to understand ourselves in a whole new way. This nurturing enhances our relationship with ourselves as well as with others. Our honesty and openness breaks down emotional walls and establishes a framework where new and current relationships can thrive and grow. In order to know others, we must first know ourselves.

Connections form a strong bond between people. When we find people we connect with on a deeply personal level, we know it. They enable us to completely be ourselves, even if we don’t know them very well. We express ourselves honestly and reveal our hidden vulnerabilities without fear of judgment. With them, we feel completely safe. Opening up about our true feelings, we don’t have to hide behind a “persona.” We don’t have to pretend. The relationship enables us to speak our truth and validates our own brilliance. We believe in our value. These people are our “tribe" of support and encouragement. Our connection with them helps us feel balanced and whole. We know we can count on them for anything.

Even when we have close connections with people in our lives, it’s easy for our busyness to get in the way. So, we need to intentionally reach out and connect with them. Drop them a note, send them a text, or make a date with them for lunch. Spend some meaningful time together. Listen to their stories and share some of your own. Whether you drink coffee, spend a day at the spa, or chat on the telephone, make time for this all-important connection. It will enhance both of your lives and will be time well spent.

This week, take some time to connect with others as well as yourself. Light a candle, write in your journal, read a book, or take a hike in the woods – do whatever makes you feel at peace. Spend some quality time with yourself and listen to your heart. In the midst of your schedule, reach out and connect with someone you care about. Share stories and life experiences. Be vulnerable and honest. Convey what is truly on your heart. Then allow them to do the same. Honor the connection between you. If you are someone who is still looking for a connection, try something new like taking an online course or a yoga class, auditioning for a play, or going bowling. You never know with whom you might connect. Open yourself up to the experience, and allow the universe to help you find what you need. Nurture and express every part of yourself. Collaborate and connect, appreciating your brilliance. See yourself as the amazing person that you are!

"Surprise Me"

With yellow daffodils and red tulips blooming in my front yard these past two weeks, I knew spring was right around the corner. Punxsutawney Phil had predicted an early spring and I was ready for some warmer weather. But as it turned out, Phil’s predications weren’t exactly correct. Looking out my window this past Sunday morning, I discovered a blanket of wet, heavy snow covering my blossoming flowers. With the trees and ground cloaked in white, it looked like a winter wonderland. Cold temperatures and the news of another winter storm on the way made me wonder if spring would ever arrive. The snow was an unexpected surprise and for many, not a very welcome one. I guess that’s the thing about surprises. They come when we least expect them and alter our plans – at least for a little while. But, they can also be a whole lot of fun if we open ourselves up to their potential.

Throughout our lives we experience many surprises. Some are exciting like when we get an unexpected check in the mail, flowers delivered to our door, or our significant other takes us to the beach for a romantic picnic. Other surprises are not as welcome – our teacher gives us a pop quiz on the two chapters we haven’t read yet, we step on the scale after starting a new diet and discover we’ve gained five pounds, or we open our quarterly statements and learn our investments have taken quite a hit. Surprises are a part of life. Some people thrive on them while others avoid them at all costs. So, why do some people hate surprises? Often, it comes down to control.

Many of us want our lives to be predictable. We have a routine and are quite content when things go as planned. Typically, our tight schedules don’t give us a lot of downtime. So, we stick to our timetable, not wanting anything out of the ordinary to happen. We don’t want to mess things up. When our lives run smoothly, we are very efficient. That’s the way we like it, and we often do all we can to keep it that way. We want to be in control. But, a predictable life can sometimes be a boring life. We may be so focused on our timetables that we miss opportunities for fun. When a friend calls out of the blue and wants to get together for coffee, but we can’t fit her into our schedule, we miss an opportunity to laugh and connect with her. When our children ask us to play a game of impromptu football, but we are too busy folding laundry, we miss an opportunity to spend quality time with our kids. It’s easy for our schedules to get in the way, especially since we often don’t make time for the fun things. They simply don’t get written on the calendar. So, if we aren’t open to surprises, there may not be much excitement in our lives because often the things that are the most fun are the things that are completely unexpected.  

But there are also those people who really enjoy the element of surprise. They don’t mind if their life is a little unpredictable. In fact, they relish in the spontaneity of it all. My husband is definitely one of those people. Whenever we eat at a restaurant, he is notorious for asking the server to select his meal. He will say, “I’m a vegetarian who eats seafood, and I can’t decide what to have. Could you please bring me whatever you would recommend? Surprise me.” Occasionally, a server will be stymied by his request, but most of the time, he/she enjoys the challenge. When the food arrives at the table, it’s exciting to see what the server selected for him. My husband is rarely disappointed, and often the meal is something he never would have selected for himself. It’s always a fun experience. He views eating at a restaurant as an enjoyable adventure. In his life, he loves to say, “Surprise me,” and for him, it’s the only way to truly live.

This week, can you add a little surprise to your life? Can you do something unexpected and have a little fun? Try to relinquish some control – even if it’s just for a little while. Leave some room in your day for the element of surprise, for surprises make amazing memories and bind people together. And they don’t have to be big or expensive. You could go for a walk on the beach during your lunch hour, play hooky from work for a day, make a cake for dinner when it’s nobody’s birthday, or treat your kids to a movie. Anything out of the ordinary can be fun. It’s all about letting go and living in the present. Otherwise, it’s easy for life to pass you by. If you surprise your child by taking them to the zoo instead of school one day, I promise they will remember it for the rest of their lives. Embrace life’s simple pleasures. Whether it’s playing football in the April snow or having a server order something for you off the menu, don’t miss out on the joys of life. Live in the moment and share a surprise with someone you care about. See what a difference that can make. Once you say, “Surprise me,” the fun is about to begin.

The Gift of Surprise

With yellow daffodils and red tulips blooming in my front yard these past two weeks, I knew spring was right around the corner. Punxsutawney Phil had predicted an early spring and I was ready for some warmer weather. But as it turned out, Phil’s predications weren’t exactly correct. Looking out my window this past Sunday morning, I discovered a blanket of wet, heavy snow covering my blossoming flowers. With the trees and ground cloaked in white, it looked like a winter wonderland. Cold temperatures and the news of another winter storm on the way made me wonder if spring would ever arrive. The snow was an unexpected surprise and for many, not a very welcome one. I guess that’s the thing about surprises. They come when we least expect them and alter our plans – at least for a little while. But, they can also be a whole lot of fun if we open ourselves up to their potential.

Throughout our lives we experience many surprises. Some are exciting like when we get an unexpected check in the mail, flowers delivered to our door, or our significant other takes us to the beach for a romantic picnic. Other surprises are not as welcome – our teacher gives us a pop quiz on the two chapters we haven’t read yet, we step on the scale after starting a new diet and discover we’ve gained five pounds, or we open our quarterly statements and learn our investments have taken quite a hit. Surprises are a part of life. Some people thrive on them while others avoid them at all costs. So, why do some people hate surprises? Often, it comes down to control.

Many of us want our lives to be predictable. We have a routine and are quite content when things go as planned. Typically, our tight schedules don’t give us a lot of downtime. So, we stick to our timetable, not wanting anything out of the ordinary to happen. We don’t want to mess things up. When our lives run smoothly, we are very efficient. That’s the way we like it, and we often do all we can to keep it that way. We want to be in control. But, a predictable life can sometimes be a boring life. We may be so focused on our timetables that we miss opportunities for fun. When a friend calls out of the blue and wants to get together for coffee, but we can’t fit her into our schedule, we miss an opportunity to laugh and connect with her. When our children ask us to play a game of impromptu football, but we are too busy folding laundry, we miss an opportunity to spend quality time with our kids. It’s easy for our schedules to get in the way, especially since we often don’t make time for the fun things. They simply don’t get written on the calendar. So, if we aren’t open to surprises, there may not be much excitement in our lives because often the things that are the most fun are the things that are completely unexpected.  

But there are also those people who really enjoy the element of surprise. They don’t mind if their life is a little unpredictable. In fact, they relish in the spontaneity of it all. My husband is definitely one of those people. Whenever we eat at a restaurant, he is notorious for asking the server to select his meal. He will say, “I’m a vegetarian who eats seafood, and I can’t decide what to have. Could you please bring me whatever you would recommend? Surprise me.” Occasionally, a server will be stymied by his request, but most of the time, he/she enjoys the challenge. When the food arrives at the table, it’s exciting to see what the server selected for him. My husband is rarely disappointed, and often the meal is something he never would have selected for himself. It’s always a fun experience. He views eating at a restaurant as an enjoyable adventure. In his life, he loves to say, “Surprise me,” and for him, it’s the only way to truly live.

This week, can you add a little surprise to your life? Can you do something unexpected and have a little fun? Try to relinquish some control – even if it’s just for a little while. Leave some room in your day for the element of surprise, for surprises make amazing memories and bind people together. And they don’t have to be big or expensive. You could go for a walk on the beach during your lunch hour, play hooky from work for a day, make a cake for dinner when it’s nobody’s birthday, or treat your kids to a movie. Anything out of the ordinary can be fun. It’s all about letting go and living in the present. Otherwise, it’s easy for life to pass you by. If you surprise your child by taking them to the zoo instead of school one day, I promise they will remember it for the rest of their lives. Embrace life’s simple pleasures. Whether it’s playing football in the April snow or having a server order something for you off the menu, don’t miss out on the joys of life. Live in the moment and share a surprise with someone you care about. See what a difference that can make. Once you say, “Surprise me,” the fun is about to begin.

The Seagull's Lesson

One sunny morning this past week, I walked along the beach with a friend. With the tide at its lowest point, the smooth, moist sand was perfect for meandering near the waves. As we made our way down the shoreline, we noticed several plump seagulls resting contentedly in the sun. They were healthy and stout. Clearly, nature had been kind to them this past winter. From the corner of my eye, I noticed a lone gull walking further up the beach with a small crab dangling from his beak. Leisurely, he sauntered away from the flock, content to eat his meal alone. Nature had provided him with a meaty breakfast. Watching him, I realized that seagulls live a life without worry. They don’t wander along the shoreline anxious about where their next meal will come from. Instead, they stand ever-ready near the waves. Watching intently, they wait for the perfect opportunity where they can catch their prey. Seagulls simply live in the now. They don’t plan ahead for their future or regret their past. It’s all about living in the moment and trusting that nature will provide for them. Worry is not a part of their existence. What a peaceful and contented life that must be!

For many of us, worry is ingrained into nearly every aspect of our lives. We worry about things both big and small – what to buy our mothers for their birthdays, when our next check will come in the mail, or even what the test results from the doctor will show. But worry isn’t just for adults. Kids experience it as well. My daughter had MCAS testing at her school this past week, and she was extremely anxious about it. She described several of the possible worst-case scenarios and even had trouble falling asleep. Her worries were very real. When I uttered the usual phrase, “Try not to worry,” the words felt hollow and unhelpful. She needed a way to release her anxiety, and those words were simply not enough.  

So, why do we worry? Usually, it’s because we are afraid of the unknown. We worry about what will happen to the people we love or what will happen to ourselves. The future is unpredictable. This makes us worry about losing the things we already have: happiness, family, love, money, freedom, and life itself. We are anxious about making decisions because we don’t want to make a mistake. We don’t want to screw up our lives.

We also worry about how others perceive us. Most of the time, we have certain personas that we present to the world. We worry that people might see us for who we truly are, so we hide behind whatever masks we can – sometimes hiding from our very selves. It’s our insecurities that we feel must stay hidden. No one can know they exist. So, we worry. But, in the end worry only makes things worse.

How can we stop worrying? It starts when we realize that worrying is not rational. The “what if” scenarios we imagine in our minds are not actually very likely to occur. We probably won’t be hit by a bus when we walk across the street tomorrow. It could happen, but it is not very likely. Once we understand this, we have to go a little further. We have to look within and discover what our anxieties are trying to tell us. Maybe it’s time to change our diet or find a more fulfilling career. We need to listen to our anxieties. They may be trying to teach us something.

Also, we must stop being afraid of losing the things we have. For those “things” are not really ours to begin with. Love and happiness do not belong to us. They are not ours to possess. Really, the only thing we will truly lose when we die is our human identity. Our souls live on. As Dr. Wayne Dyer, an American philosopher, said, “We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.” We need to be less attached to our own existence. There is no security in life other than that which comes from within. It’s all about accepting ourselves as we are and letting go of the need to control things. Live in the present. Make the best decisions you can and move on with your life. Accept that one day we will all die. Stop being afraid and know that when your time comes, it comes. There is something freeing about believing that simple truth.

This week, pay attention to your worries. Are they trying to tell you something? Is there an area of your life where you need to make a change? Is something out of balance? Your worries can teach you a great deal about yourself if you are willing to listen. Take their advice and make a change. Don’t worry about the future or what you are going to lose. Instead, live in the present and make the best decisions you can. Live like the plump seagull – take what is given to you and let go of all the rest. It isn’t in your control anyway. Be gracious and live every day to the fullest. You are an eternal being. Release the fear and see how peaceful and content you can finally be.

Your Love Can Change the World

The news was difficult to watch this past Tuesday morning. Seeing the smoke rising from the Brussels’ airport, watching eyewitnesses frantically fleeing the scene, and looking at a dismantled and singed subway car, I wondered how anyone could intentionally terrorize the lives of so many innocent people. Attentively, I listened to a reporter give a detailed description of the attack that had occurred at Maalbeek station. His face somber, he paused for a moment before explaining that Maalbeek station was the place he normally walked through each morning around 9 a.m. (the time of the bombing) on his way to Parliament. However, on this particular morning, he had chosen not to take the metro – a decision that perhaps changed his life.

Hearing his story and seeing those images, I was angry and disheartened that someone could have executed such an attack. The world seemed so full of hate. But gradually, as the morning wore on, my anger turned to sadness – for those who lost their lives as well as for the long-term ramifications this type of attack would have. It would instill fear into the hearts of many. And fear can be a dangerous thing. For responding to an act of hate with more hate, does not make a situation better.

This tragedy made me question the safety of the world in which we live. The secure, sheltered world I knew as a child no longer exists. Metal detectors greet us at judicial buildings, emergency room entrances, and sporting events. Our bags are checked at baseball games, waterparks, and even Disney World. Reports of violent local and international attacks have become part of our regular news.

With the world changing all around me, I often wonder what I can do. What should my response be – one of apathy, outrage, or ignorance – or one of desire to make things better? It’s my choice how I respond. My decision may inspire others, or it may not. For me, I believe that despite the evil that exists in this world, there is also a whole lot of good. There are kind, caring, loving people out there who want to make a difference and make this world a better place. I want to be one of those people.

Although the world can be scary, we can’t live our lives in fear. We can’t stop traveling or exploring new places. It’s these types of experiences that enrich our lives. Fear does the opposite. It only adds to the challenges we face; it doesn’t make them better. That’s why we can’t let fear control us. But that’s exactly what it does for many of us on a daily basis. We live our lives out of fear – fear of disease, fear of financial troubles, fear of dying. But, we don’t have to continue living that way. Instead, we can choose to live life from a place of love. We can then send that love out into the world. Fear never makes the world better, but love can.

Through kindness and love, we can make a difference in this world. It’s about changing our perspective. Instead of dwelling on the differences between us, perhaps we could embrace our commonalities. We all have a bond of being human – it’s our connection to one another. Kindness begets kindness, while hate begets hate. The choice is up to us.

Has the world ever discouraged you? Have you seen things on the news that make you want to scream in protest? Being angry or afraid is part of being human. But you can’t let these emotions control you. Hate and fear can prevent you from seeing the good in other people. It can be the justification for terrible things. When you see fear, take a moment to be extra nice to the people around you. Small kindnesses can affect the world at large. Open the door for a stranger, take flowers to a friend, or make a double batch of soup and share it with your neighbor. All that love helps the whole world. It isn’t always easy to embrace kindness and love, but choose to be kind anyway. The next time you see a tragic event on the news or violence at a political rally, send your love and light to the people of this world, and let go of the fear. Change your perspective, and you can change the world.

The Gift of Friendship

On Tuesday morning, I was sitting in a comfy chair at Panera visiting with an old friend of mine. We hadn’t seen each other in several years; our paths simply had not crossed. But as we sat together chatting and laughing, as though no time had passed, it reminded me of the importance of friendship, which plays a vital role in our lives, contributing greatly to our overall health and happiness.   

No matter how much time has passed, true friends are the people with whom we connect. Whether we spoke to them on the phone yesterday or a year ago, we are always able to pick up right where we left off. Our connection with them is timeless. These are the friends we call at 3 a.m. and know they will be there for us, no questions asked. They are our advocates and become part of our all-important “tribe.”

True friends are the people with whom we can be ourselves. When we are around them, we don’t have to worry about appearances or what they think of us. We can be completely vulnerable. They don’t judge our actions or question our place in this world. Unconditionally, they support us through everything. But, they are also honest – telling us the truth, especially when we need to hear it the most.  

Bonds of friendship are what tie us together. Our friends help us let loose and have fun – to break free from our need to control every aspect of our lives. They remind us not to take ourselves so seriously, loving us exactly as we are. Standing alongside us, they help us through our biggest challenges and celebrate our greatest joys.

Friends shape us into who we are. They influence our sense of self and contribute to the direction our lives are taking. Supporting us through thick and thin, comforting us when we are lonely, and even giving us the occasional reality check, they are always there beside us. As friendships change and evolve, their importance remains the same. All of our friends – whether they are old or new – impact our lives.

This week, think about the friendships that you hold most dear. What are the qualities that make your friends so invaluable? Have you stayed in touch with these friends over the years? Or, is it time to re-connect? Let your friends know that you are always in their corner. Take time out of your busy schedule to catch up with them. Support, love, and nurture your dearest friends. Whether it’s meeting them for coffee at Panera or chatting on the phone before dinner, let them know how important they are to you. Strengthen the bonds of friendship by thanking every member of your “tribe” for the positive impact they have had in your life. As Thomas Aquinas, the famous Italian theologian, once said, “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”

What Message Is Your Body Sending?

On Monday morning, our daughter was having a minor procedure done at a children’s hospital nearby. When we arrived, there were administrative staff, volunteers, doctors, nurses, and therapists which you would expect at any hospital. But what captured my attention the most were the other patients – infants, toddlers, elementary-aged kids – all there for specific reasons. For some of them, visiting this hospital was part of their regular routine. While I was completely out of my element, this was their norm.

After grabbing a quick bite at the cafeteria, we took the elevator upstairs. Our daughter was given some medication for the procedure and shortly thereafter, went in the room for her surgery. Everything went well and once it was over, we were very relieved. However, the after effects of the drug were extremely noticeable. When our daughter stood up, she could hardly maintain her balance. She stumbled, having little control over her own muscles. The drug had dramatically impacted her central nervous system. On the drive home, she was sick to her stomach multiple times and had a very rough afternoon and evening. She couldn’t keep anything down. Also, she had trouble comprehending the most basic information. I knew the medication would wear off in a few hours, but watching her, I was astounded at how little she resembled the girl I loved so much. It was as though the drug had taken her away – as if I didn’t even know her. She seemed lost in a world she no longer knew – her usual sparkle gone. Seeing her like this, I realized how easy it is to take our health for granted. Our bodies do so much for us. Yet, we often never give them a second thought.

Our health plays a vital role in our lives. Have you ever gotten the flu and realized how much energy you exert just taking a shower the next morning? It’s times like these when I truly marvel at the human body. But, I admit, most days I go through the motions without even thinking about how my body helps me. Unless I’m injured, I don’t think about the impact my actions have upon it. I just keep on going. So, why is that? Don’t I want to take care of my body? Don’t I want to consider the foods I’m eating or the stress I’m placing upon it each and every day? The truth is, I do care about those things, but I’m usually too busy to even notice. As a result, my body can take a real “beating.” Perhaps it’s time I finally appreciated and accepted the amazing body that I have.

Our bodies heal and protect us. They are the “temple” of our beings – of our very souls. Comprised of different energies, our bodies respond not only to the energies within us, but also the energies surrounding us. All of these energies are connected. When one of our energies is out of balance, it can negatively impact the others. That’s part of our mind-body-soul connection.

When our bodies hurt, they are trying to tell us something – they are sending us a message. They want to work with us to feel better. We often have what we need to heal. When we work on and with the body, we are opening that connection and experiencing mind-body unity. Our bodies remember every incident that happens in our lives. There are memories stored in our muscles and tissues. When we have a traumatic injury or unresolved grievance from our past, our bodies hold onto that memory and the flow of energy often becomes “blocked.” This blockage remains with us until we finally ask our bodies what they need. Only when we listen and let go will that “blocked” energy be released. This is when true healing and connection takes place. Dr. Christiane Northrup, a leading authority in women’s health and wellness, says, “Your body is your ally; it is always influenced and shaped by your thoughts and beliefs.” When we listen to our bodies, our “blocked” energies become “unblocked,” enabling us to release all that we no longer need and begin the road to healing. It may be as simple as letting go of unrealistic expectations or forgiving ourselves for past mistakes. That doesn’t mean disease will never come. It just means that if it does, it might be time to connect and listen – to hear what our bodies are trying to teach us. Fear does not heal, but love can. We need to love our bodies – every part of them – and see what a difference that can make.

This week, think about your body and all it does for you. Appreciate its many wonders as well as its few flaws. Love every part of yourself. Then reflect upon the way you treat this “temple” of your soul. Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating right? Is your body trying to tell you anything? Examine your life honestly and see if there are any areas that need more love and acceptance. Love yourself from the inside. Feel all of your emotions and your regrets. Don’t leave that energy “blocked” inside of you. Life’s challenges and mistakes have taught you many valuable lessons. Now, it’s time to release your “blocked” energies and let them go. Move in the direction of health and happiness, and it will come. Our thoughts are our most important tool – they attract what we think about. Listen to what feels right and what doesn’t. Trust that your body is your guide – your companion in this life. Appreciate all that it does and stop taking it for granted. Marvel at its wonders before illness or pain drains you of your energy. Make the most of every day and begin to consider the mind-body flow connection.

I’m happy to report that our daughter is back to her old self – sparkle and all. We are so thankful! Have a healthy and happy week!

What Can You Give Away?

This past week, I received a very positive review for my children’s book “Treasure Hunt.” Toward the end of the review, the writer said, “This is definitely an author we hope to see more from in the future.” As I read her comment, I pondered the possibility of writing more children’s books. My first adult novel is appearing on Kindle Scout this weekend, and I have been debating my next project as a writer. Perhaps another children’s book is a valid possibility. Her comment also helped affirm something that I already knew – writing is my “giveaway.”

The “giveaway” is something I read about a few months ago. It originated from the Native Americans of the High Plains and is our reason for being here, our purpose for this life. We all want to contribute something to this world. Our “giveaway” is how we do that. It helps us find meaning. All things in nature know their “giveaway.” Trees make oxygen, distill water, provide habitats for animals, make sugars and foods, and self-replicate. Honey bees pollinate plants and trees, produce beeswax, construct honeycombs, and make honey. It’s what the trees and the bees came here to do. Everything in nature has a “giveaway,” and we are no different.

As young children, we are drawn to certain things. Perhaps we love to dance or listen to music. Maybe we enjoy painting or building things. The Native people of the High Plains paid close attention to their children’s interests. They knew those interests were closely tied to a child’s life purpose. The entire tribe supported their children as they grew, helping them listen and trust their intuition. They wanted their children to discover their “giveaways” for themselves. Once their children discerned their purpose, they could make a difference in the world.

The “giveaway” is important because it helps form the basis of who we are. It is the very reason we are here. Some of us know from a very young age what our purpose is, while others struggle for years to figure it out. As we get older, some of us may even ask, “What have I done with my life? Have I even made a difference?” We are all looking for meaning. Sometimes our “giveaway” is our profession. But, that is not always the case. When we listen and reflect upon our passions for this life, the discovery of our “giveaway” begins.  

This week, think about the things that bring you the most joy. Is it cooking, healing, designing, or reading? Whatever it is, reflect upon it and its meaning for you. Your purpose for this life doesn’t have to be grand. You don’t have to cure cancer (although that’s an important purpose for someone out there). It can be as simple as sketching caricatures on the street or inviting people into your home. As long as it brings you joy and uses your talents, then it is your “giveaway.” It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of it. It’s yours and only yours. And once you begin living your “giveaway,” you will see the world differently. You will find meaning. After you’ve discovered your purpose, support others as they search for their “giveaway.” Be their “tribe” that helps them listen to their intuition.

With a “giveaway” the possibilities are endless – maybe I will “give away” another children’s book after all.