Heidi Martin's Blog, page 5

The Stars Behind the Clouds

This past week, I vacationed with my family on beautiful Galveston Island. With its sandy beaches and warm weather, it was truly a traveler’s paradise. We spent time on Pier 21 watching the ships pass by and shopping at the local boutiques. My children particularly enjoyed riding the ferry to Bolivar Peninsula and writing in the sand near the picturesque coastline of East Beach Lagoon. But besides traveling to different parts of the island, we also spent a great deal of time at our resort that was located right along the ocean. The view from our balcony was spectacular. The swaying palm trees and melodic surf were mesmerizing. It was a picture-perfect place.

On the last night of our vacation, we finished a lively game of Apples to Apples and then decided to go star-gazing at the beach. Our hotel was located on the remote side of the island, so I knew it would be a breathtaking view. But after walking outside and glancing up at the night sky, my heart sank. Gray, fluffy clouds were slowly moving across the heavens shrouding every star in their path. Gazing upward, I caught a glimpse of the constellation, Orion, straight above me and watched it for a few moments before it too was swallowed up by the clouds. The only celestial body that remained visible was the waxing 3/4 moon that shown like a beacon against the dark night. As I gazed at the clouds reaching their long, slender fingers across the heavens, I heard my son say, “Wow! It looks like the whole sky is moving – like the clouds are dancing. That’s so cool!” He was captivated by their subtle beauty. Gradually, their long, slender fingers reached toward the moon and hid it from view for a few moments before its bright glow returned. This dance with the moon continued until eventually it too vanished behind a blanket of soft, gray clouds. In the darkness, we strolled along the seashore laughing and talking about our wonderful vacation – our “highs and lows.” And just before we headed back to the hotel, I glanced up at the night sky one last time and lamented, “If only we had done this a different night, we could have seen a lot more stars.” My daughter squeezed my hand encouragingly and replied with excitement, “What do you mean? You have your three ‘stars’ right here in front of you!” She leaned toward her dad and brother, giving them both a squeeze. All of them smiled widely at me, and my daughter with her usual dramatic flair, waved her hands wildly in the air. Laughing, I realized, Yes, I do have my stars right here in front of me. I am the luckiest woman on earth.

I reflected on my daughter’s comment as we walked along the wooden boardwalk that led back to our hotel. My family was definitely the bright, shining “stars” in my life. And, how often did I miss that with all the busyness that usually surrounded me? When the clouds rolled in, I didn’t see the “stars” that were there all along. I don’t always appreciate the brilliance all around me. And, this isn’t just the case with my family. We all have talents, dreams, and hopes for our future – bright lights for our lives. Yet, when these lights become clouded over by things that happen or dreams that don’t materialize, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s important. Too often we bemoan the fact that things aren’t going our way. Sometimes, we even hide our talents and dreams from others as well as ourselves. We keep our light veiled behind the clouds, hidden from view. But our lights do not go out even when they’re hidden from the world. Their brilliance cannot be dimmed forever. Luminous and radiant, they want to be seen; they want to lead the way.

Our value isn’t determined by our circumstances or the opinions of others. We are all amazing human beings with so much potential. We just have to be willing to let our light shine. When the clouds roll in, let them aimlessly drift by, but don’t allow them to hide the wonderful people that we are. See the “stars” within us and the “stars” that surround us. Focus on the love for ourselves and others. The clouds won’t last forever. Eventually, they will dissipate and reveal the brilliant “stars” we were made to be.

This week, take a moment to gaze up at the luminous stars overhead. Observe their radiant glow and splendor. If the clouds happen to be out that night, watch their long, slender fingers reach across the heavens and dance with the moon. Then when their dance is over, the veil is lifted to reveal the brilliant stars that are hidden behind them. May this remind you of your own bright light that shines within. Celebrate your uniqueness and embrace your dreams. Follow your “inner star” and appreciate the “stars” of your family and friends. Don’t stay hidden behind the clouds. Show your radiant light for all to see, and if you have a little dramatic flair, wave your hands wildly in the air. J

“Free Time” Equals “Me Time”

This past week, my kids were thrilled when they woke up to the news that school had been cancelled because of the weather. Glancing out the window at the swirling snowfall, they shouted exuberantly, “Snow day!” They raced downstairs and eagerly ate breakfast while excitedly chatting about the day’s endless possibilities. After watching some TV, they joyfully lounged around the house in their pajamas before heading outside to play in the freshly fallen snow. They were thrilled to have a day to do whatever they wanted. As I watched them relishing in their unexpected freedom, it reminded me of something a friend had said several months ago. We were talking about the busyness of our lives when she told me about something she had done a few weeks before. It was called a “free day.” She explained that a “free day” was a day where you could do anything you wanted to do – no tasks, no work, no worries – just a day for yourself. You didn’t have to accomplish anything. Hearing her talk about it, I thought the idea sounded great, but I couldn’t imagine fitting it into my schedule. It was hard enough trying to find the time to meditate each morning, much less spend an entire day doing whatever I wanted. There were always too many things I needed to do, and although it sounded like a good idea, devoting an entire day to myself just didn’t seem possible.

But, watching my children’s excitement on this unexpected snow day helped me realize the tremendous benefits a “free day” can provide. Together, they laughed and joked – everything was about having fun. Neither of them worried about the tasks they needed to accomplish nor the schoolwork that had to be completed. They enjoyed the simple pleasures of the day and the time they had been given. I loved seeing them so relaxed and carefree. It was a memorable day. But what I didn’t expect was the following day when they returned to school. Both of them were refreshed and well-prepared to tackle the tasks at hand. The day off had given them an energy boost and lifted their spirits. They were ready for anything.

We spend a great deal of time throughout our lives working, completing tasks, running errands, and making meals. It’s easy to get caught up in the monotony of it all. Many of us have tight schedules and a “to-do” list that is always a mile long. Busyness consumes our lives, but we don’t want to stop because if we do, we might not be able to keep going. We are exhausted and stressed. Any beauty around us, like stunning sunsets or a picturesque landscape, goes completely unnoticed. Our “tunnel vision” gives us a very limited view.    

So, what if we changed things up a bit? What if we took a little “free time” each week to do something that we wanted to do rather than what we had to do? Maybe we could take a walk on the beach or read that mystery novel we’ve been dying to start. We could take the whole day off and do whatever we wanted. But if that’s not possible, perhaps we could take a few hours every week to do something for ourselves. Even in that short time, the results could be amazing. Suddenly, we might find ourselves feeling refreshed and relaxed rather than stressed. We might learn to laugh more and enjoy life’s simple pleasures. Our heavy load might feel just a little lighter. Yet, in order for this to happen, we must release the guilt. Taking time for ourselves is not something we should feel guilty about. All those tasks you think you should be accomplishing can wait. They aren’t going anywhere. And once we spend time taking care of ourselves, we can approach these tasks with renewed energy and focus. “Free time” equals “me time,” and when we take good care of ourselves, it enables us to handle our lives a little bit better.

This week, take some “free time” for yourself. Light some candles, take a bath, read a book, go to a movie – do whatever your heart longs to do. Release the guilt and embrace the love and attention you are finally giving yourself. Laugh, create, connect – enjoy whatever it is you are doing. Discover how free you feel, and relish in life’s simple pleasures. Then when you are back to your busy schedule, you will feel renewed and refreshed, able to tackle whatever lies ahead. Whether it’s a “snow day” or a “free day,” relax and have some fun. See the difference taking time for yourself can make, and schedule it as often as you can.

Decision Dilemmas

Decision-making is something many of us find challenging. Sometimes, we drag our feet or debate with ourselves the best possible course of action. We want to do the right thing but can’t quite decide the best way to make that happen. In order to give ourselves more time, we delay the decision, but it doesn’t make the inevitable any easier. We still have to decide. Often, we rationalize our indecisiveness by saying, “This is such a difficult decision – it’s hard to know what to do.” But perhaps that’s part of the problem. Maybe telling ourselves it’s a difficult decision makes it one. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we perceived decision-making as manageable, perhaps it would be exactly that.   

Decisions affect every aspect of our lives. Different opportunities present themselves, and we must decide what we do with them. Do we take advantage of what comes our way, or do we let the opportunities pass us by? Either way, it’s up to us. It can be as simple as picking out what clothes we wear that day or as difficult as changing our career. But we have to decide what’s best for our lives. For even a non-decision is a decision. It’s all about choices. We can passively sit by, or we can actively engage and make our own decisions. It’s completely up to us.

When we choose to actively engage in our decision making, that doesn’t mean it will always be easy. But we can’t let fears and doubts dissuade us. Deep down, we know what’s best for ourselves. We simply have to be willing to listen to our inner voice. As a friend once told me, if it’s not a “Hell, yes,” then it’s a “no.” If you think about moving across the country and your inner voice screams, “Hell, yes,” then that is the right decision. If it’s an “I guess so,” maybe you need to reconsider. We want to place our confidence and trust in those inner voices. Anytime they scream, “Hell, yes” or “Hell, no,” we should definitely pay attention. But it’s the times when the answers are unclear that are particularly challenging. This is when we must go within, meditate, and listen to our hearts. We have to trust that our inner truth knows what we need to do. We have to believe in ourselves.  

Decisions are a part of life. So, when you are faced with a decision, how do you respond? Do you trust that you will make the right choice? Do you listen to your heart? Or, do you let doubts and fears hold you back? Every day you have the choice of whether you will passively sit by or actively make your own decisions. What will you do? When you are willing to listen to yourself and follow your heart, decisions can actually be quite manageable (even the big ones). Believe in yourself and your ability to make good decisions. Listen to your inner voice and let your intuition guide you. Trust in its wisdom and whenever your voice screams, “Hell, yes” or “Hell, no,” I hope you’re paying attention because it’s definitely trying to tell you something.

Door Number Two … or Three … or Four …

Disappointments are a part of life. Sometimes when we want something so badly, all we can do is watch it slip away. When things don’t go according to plan or the outcome isn’t what we had hoped for, we’re often left wondering why. Disappointments happen, but it’s how we respond to them that really matters. We need to remember those disappointments do not define us; they are not a measure of our worth.

However, we usually don’t like it very much when things don’t go our way. We’re hurt and sad, sometimes unable to see any positives in the situation. It’s at that moment when we must trust our intuition and surrender the outcomes. We must remember that our self-worth is not determined by other people’s opinions. When people reject us, we cannot lose sight of who we are or who we aspire to be. Instead it’s a time to believe in ourselves all the more – to not give up on our dreams.

Disappointments come and go throughout our lives. Recently, I experienced this first-hand. On Monday afternoon I received an email regarding a writing contest I had entered. Quickly, I opened the email and read the message only to discover that my entry had not been chosen as one of the winners. I sighed deeply. I hadn’t really expected to win, but the disappointment I felt was undeniable. My stomach twisted into knots, and a tear rolled down my cheek. Closing my eyes, I knew in order for the sadness to pass, I had to feel it fully and without judgment. But, what I didn’t expect was how easily my ego would take over. Suddenly, I began to question the very value of my writing. I doubted whether it was good enough for anyone to read. I pondered whether I was even on the right path. Maybe I was wrong that writing was my purpose. Perhaps it had no worth, and neither did I.

But then I realized a contest wasn’t the sole determinant of whether my writing had value. It was only a contest. I needed to stop listening to my ego and instead listen to my heart. For me, the contest wasn’t about winning. It was about trusting in the process. My work would be published, but just through another avenue. This wasn’t the end of the road. It was simply a turning point, an unexpected twist along the path. Another door will open; I just have to be patient and observant enough to see it. I need to trust not only in the value of my writing, but in the value of myself. And perhaps that is the lesson: trusting the process, trusting my worth, and trusting myself enough to follow my intuition no matter what anyone else thinks. 

Disappointments are never easy, but they can teach us a great deal. When we get disappointing news or find ourselves in a difficult situation, we often question our path. Our emotions take over, and we begin to wonder whether we should give up or keep on going. It’s in these moments when we grow as people. We hone important traits like perseverance, honesty, compassion, and empathy. These qualities are strengthened through our experiences. Our disappointments help us become better people. 

Along life’s journey, you too will face disappointments. So, how do you deal with them? Do you allow yourself to feel every emotion without judgment? Do you look past your ego long enough to see the lessons that are there for you to learn? Disappointments can be difficult, but they are also a turning point that can sometimes have surprising results. Trust in the process and don’t let others’ opinions determine your worth. You are a valuable human being who has so much to offer the world. Listen to your heart and follow your intuition. Disappointments don’t mean you are on the wrong path. They are simply a part of your journey; they are a form of redirection. Listen to their wisdom. See what life lessons you can learn along the way. And always remember to look and see what’s behind door number two … or three … or four …

Finding Light in the Darkness

With the upcoming winter storm Jonas headed this way, many people are preparing for bitter cold temperatures and endless piles of snow. Gusty winds, downed power lines, and hazardous road conditions are all synonymous with a storm like Jonas. It’s just part of the winter season. Winter is the time of year when temperatures are at their coldest, and the outer world is at its darkest. “Snowbirds” flee the frigid cold, heading south for warmer weather. The mere mention of the word “winter” makes them shudder. Perhaps many of us don’t see the value of winter in our lives. Perhaps it’s just a series of long storms we have to weather. But winter does have value – it has lessons to teach us. It’s the time of year when we turn inward to listen and reflect – to make sense of who we are and why we’re here.

In the long dark nights of winter, silence lingers, giving us an opportunity to go within and connect with the center of our beings. Examining the choices we have made and the truths that have guided us, we begin to contemplate our beliefs – the things we hold most dear. This time of introspection can affirm the direction our lives are taking or reveal that somehow we have lost our way. Blustery winds can easily blow us off course in the storms of life. Not able to see clearly, we’re unsure of our next move.

But the truth is we don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes our lives just go off course. We don’t always know where we are going or why. During these times, our questioning can lead us down new paths. It can provide revelations we’ve never thought of before. Suddenly, we may see a new perspective or think of a new solution to an existing problem. Reflecting on our lives enables us to finally understand what has eluded us in the past. We listen to our hearts and trust ourselves more. Clarity reveals itself in new and powerful ways directing us toward our passion – the light that burns within us. This inner light guides our way – its flames blazing. Even through the darkest of times, it will lead us on with newfound wisdom and strength. When we trust in its guidance, we will find our way.

As darkness envelops the winter season, will you take the time to turn inward and listen to your heart? What beliefs do you hold most dear? What are the things you are most passionate about? Connect with yourself and see what you discover; see what lessons you learn. And although figuring out life’s biggest questions may be an internal struggle – where the winds try to blow you off course – isn’t it worth the effort? Like the brilliant stars in the heavens, the light within you shines. Let it burn brightly and guide you through the darkness. When the storms of life come, it will not lead you astray. Follow your inner light and live out your passion. Be who you came here to be.  

Lightening Your Load

This week the dreaded day finally came – the day I actually decided to take action. It was time to stop procrastinating as I had been doing for months (years, really), and clean out my attic. Now, some of you may wonder why I chose January to start this project. With the lowest temperatures of the season in the Northeast and an attic that is uninsulated, I wondered the same thing. In fact, when I opened the attic door and felt the frigid air on my bare skin, I almost completely abandoned the idea. But then it struck me. If I didn’t grasp this opportunity to clean out my attic while I was motivated, another year or two might pass before the job got done. And by then, the piles would be even higher. I couldn’t let the time of year deter me. I had to follow through. It was time to get it done.

With fuzzy slippers, three layers of warm sweaters, and a stocking cap on my head, I opened the door and trudged up the wooden stairs that led to the attic. Cardboard boxes and plastic totes were haphazardly scattered beneath the rafters. It was an expansive space, and I had utilized every inch as a dumping ground over the years. Whenever I had tossed another bag of old toys or clothes onto a pile, I would say to myself, “I’ll look through these later.” Well, later never came – until now. Starting near the stairs, I began to recycle the large stacks of empty shoeboxes and cardboard. That seemed easy enough. Slowly, I made my way to a tote of giveaway stuff I had begun packing several months earlier. I added a few more items to the tote before setting it aside. Then it was on to the next one. This process continued until I glanced outside and noticed that the sky had darkened. It was almost dinner time, and I had been up there for over an hour, although it felt like much longer. Sighing and hardly able to feel my fingers, I knew it was time to take a break.  

That was five days ago and although I would love to tell you my attic is completely finished, it isn’t. In fact, I’m still organizing and sorting. However, I have gotten a little smarter. Instead of braving the frigid attic temperatures, I now take a few totes down to the bedroom and sort through them one at a time. As I’m sorting, I try to remember that everything in the attic is simply stuff. It’s replaceable. If other people can benefit from clothing or toys that my family no longer uses, then I am happy to donate them. It’s time to clean out and let go of things, for when I hold onto things too long, I find they hold me back.

Surprisingly, the dreaded job of cleaning my attic is teaching me something. The larger my giveaway pile grows, the happier I feel. It’s as though removing the clutter from my attic helps me remove the clutter from my life. Somehow, everything seems simpler. I am able to focus more on the important things in my life like love, relationships, self-worth, and my purpose. I don’t need all this stuff I am surrounding myself with. It’s weighing me down more than it’s helping me. My stuff isn’t serving a purpose; it‘s just taking up more space. I believe this is true for many of us. Most of the time, we carry around stuff that we no longer need. And it isn’t always physical stuff. Often, we carry around old hurts and burdens. We take them with us everywhere; it’s time to let them go.

Many years ago, I went on a mission trip to Juarez, Mexico. The people who lived there had very small one-room homes made of cement, and many of them only owned the clothes on their backs. At first, I felt sorry for them. But after staying there for only a few days, I realized how happy these people were. They experienced greater joy in their apparent lack than we as Americans do with all of our excess. Perhaps our stuff gets in the way of our happiness. Are we so busy trying to accumulate more that we miss the simple joys that life brings?

What things are cluttering up your life? Is it time to clean out your dreaded closets or forgive someone you love? Give away the stuff you longer need and release those hurts you’ve been holding onto. They are only holding you back. Once you let them go, you will be amazed how much lighter you feel – how much lighter the load becomes. Look within and reflect upon the things that are most important in your life. Appreciate what you’ve been given and spend time with those you love. Discover your purpose and believe in your own worth. Take time to experience life’s simple joys, for once you clear away the clutter, contentment and happiness will follow.

Dance of the Snowflakes

Earlier this week, I gazed out my window at the delicate snowflakes falling gently from the sky. They whirled through the air, constantly in motion until finally they settled softly upon the earth. Watching them for a few moments, I realized it had been a long time since I had stared at snowflakes. Yet, somehow I was mesmerized. The soft, white crystals emerged in every size and shape, each one as unique as the last. Carefree, they floated up and down – swirling in the wind. With their gentle movements, the snowflakes looked as though they were dancing. So, what made them so beautiful? What captivated my attention? Perhaps it was their simple nature that struck me. Small snowflakes twirling through the air, delicate and free – that was their simple beauty.

Floating through life like snowflakes seems like a beautiful metaphor – one where we simply are who we were made to be. We embrace our uniqueness and drift wherever life takes us. We don’t question or wonder what lies ahead – we simply trust. Even when the wind gusts or the world turns cold, we stay on our path through the turbulence. Our task is to be our own unique selves, dancing to our own melody.

But in the dance of life, it isn’t always so easy. Often, we become focused on our own agenda and what we need to accomplish. We do everything we can to stay in control. When we see results, we begin to believe in ourselves. However, perhaps we need to believe in ourselves first before we can truly see. Instead of following a perfectly choreographed dance routine, what if we close our eyes and feel the rhythms of the music? Breathe deeply, relax, and truly listen to its melody. Allow the music to lead us, using intuition as our guide. Once we do, we may see the world in a whole new way.

Who is leading the dance of your life? Are you listening to your inner voice – the one that knows the way? Are you choosing to follow wherever the path leads – to trust in your own destiny? Living a fulfilled life is what truly matters. But what does that mean for you? Do you gaze outside your window and watch the snowflakes? Do you see the beauty all around you? The dance of life continues. Will you listen to the music and feel its melody, seeing the world in a whole new way? Be free and dance with the wind. Be like a snowflake – beautiful in its simplicity – beautiful and free.

New Beginnings

All of us experience new beginnings throughout our lives, but those beginnings are not all the same. Some of those beginnings might include starting school, passing our driver’s test, going to college, moving to a new town, starting a new job, getting married, having children, losing our job, moving far away from our family and friends, and/or losing someone we love. Each of these qualifies as a new beginning and whether or not we’ve experienced them, we know that some beginnings are exciting while others are downright terrifying. Many are filled with promise, but also uncertainty. Change is not easy. We wonder if we are going down the right path. Will it lead us where we want to go?

Now, we find ourselves at another new beginning – the start of another year. 2016 lies in front of us with such promise and hope. We plan to start anew, start fresh in our lives. For many of us, it is a time of optimism and opportunity – one which we look forward to every year. It’s a time where we look ahead to all that is possible – to all we hope to achieve. A new year means a blank slate where we can write the next chapter in the story of our lives.

Yet, as we excitedly look ahead, we need to also take the time to reflect on where we’ve been. What have we learned, what have we achieved, what have we given freely with no expectation of return? We are grateful for all that we’ve been given, but also contemplate the challenges we have faced and what they have taught us. Sometimes reflection can cause us to regret the past and the choices we have made. This regret often fills us with guilt and shame. So perhaps instead of regretting our actions, we can choose to learn from them. Our mistakes are often our best teachers – ones from which we can learn our most valuable life lessons. The wisdom we gain from our mistakes can teach us how to live our lives more fully. We move forward, forging new ground, growing, and becoming the people we were made to be.

Traditionally, at the start of a new year, people make resolutions that will help them improve their lives. Many people make resolutions such as losing weight or drinking more water (which are fine resolutions to make). But maybe this year instead of making resolutions that change the way you act, make resolutions that change the way you think. It could be as simple as saying positive affirmations every day, such as “Live each day more fully than the last,” “Cherish the little things,” or “Be grateful for everything that you’ve been given.” If you live out those mantras daily, big changes can happen in your life. You will notice a difference in how you feel and how you live.

As you look ahead toward 2016 with all of its possibilities, will you choose to change the way you think? Will you be present in every moment? Will you cherish those quiet walks in the woods? May this New Year help you become the person that you have always wanted to be. New beginnings can be an exciting time for growth and renewal. Whether you are buying a new home, starting retirement, or merely beginning a New Year, it is a time of hope and uncertainty. So, embrace the change and move forward knowing you are on the right path. Even if it feels terrifying, keep forging new ground. Don’t give up and may 2016 be a promising and fulfilling year where all things are truly possible.

Making Christmas Cookies

This past weekend, I was making Christmas cookies with my family. It’s one of our holiday traditions, and we have done it ever since my kids were very young. Whether we celebrate the holidays at home with just the four of us or visit our families who live far away, making cookies is always part of the fun. Every year, the kids especially enjoy selecting which cookie cutters they are going to use. Sometimes, it’s an angel, a tree, a stocking, or even Santa Claus. (This year the most popular was the giant gingerbread man.) Now that the kids are a little older, they select their cookie cutters carefully so they can make as many cookies as possible out of a single piece of dough. It’s actually pretty fun to watch. After the cookies are baked, then comes the best part – frosting them. Excitedly, they get to work and more frosting ends up in their mouths than on the cookies. This year, we almost didn’t have enough to finish the whole batch! But who can blame them? If frosting is delicious, you have to eat it, right? After the frosting comes the sprinkles. And, of course, they have to use lots of them! I’ve realized it wouldn’t feel like Christmas without flour, frosting, sprinkles, and extra dough spread all around the kitchen. That’s part of what makes Christmas special!

Our lives are a lot like making Christmas cookies. We spend years adding just the right ingredients to them: a hint of humility, a smidgen of compassion, a pinch of self-discipline, a cup of responsibility, a dash of kindness, a tablespoon of pride, a drop of honesty, a few sprinkles of integrity, and a teaspoon of respect. We combine these ingredients until we have just the right mixture. Then we roll out the dough until it’s the perfect size and thickness. Grabbing a cookie cutter, we mold our lives into the shape we want them to be, the character that suits us best. Finally, we decorate our chosen shape with colored frosting and sprinkles (sometimes a little and sometimes a lot). This is the character we present to others as well as ourselves. Over time, the shape of the character may change. But, often, the ingredients we use remain the same.

Cookies are as unique as the baker. Some batches turn our perfectly moist and flavorful while others turn out dry and bland. But, even if cookies look good on the outside, the real test is their taste. The best cookies have their own unique flavor. And that flavor only comes with a willingness to alter the recipe until we find the perfect mix of ingredients to create the cookies we love. The same is true for us. In our lives, we don’t have to be the same people we’ve always been, especially if there’s something we believe needs to be changed. And, the best part is that the change doesn’t have to be big. Small changes can have a lasting impact. It doesn’t matter what ingredients we have used to create our lives in the past. They can always be altered. So, if we need a little more gratitude or compassion in our lives, we can add them to the recipe. Or, if we want to remove some ingredients like arrogance or negativity, we can work toward taking those away. Some of us may find we like our recipe exactly as it is. It’s completely up to us. We are the baker, the creators of our own lives. We can make a batch of cookies (with an old or new recipe) anytime we want. When it comes time for the frosting, we can decorate them however we choose with lots of red and green sprinkles or maybe no sprinkles at all.

Whether or not you celebrate the holidays, the next time you see a batch of cookies (either homemade or from the grocery store) may they remind you of the cookies you make in your own life. Carefully check over the recipe and see which ingredients make you the most flavorful. Are there any changes that need to be made? Perhaps the shape of the cookie could be transformed into something brand new – or maybe not. Be creative and enjoy the process. You are the baker, after all, and don’t forget to sample a little bit of that tasty frosting before it’s all gone!

Releasing the Sand

This past week, my husband and I saw an interesting sight. We were walking on the beach, as we have done so many times before, when we saw two long tubes about eighteen inches in diameter resting side-by-side that stretched for about a mile down the shoreline. The black, pliable tubes definitely stood out among the picturesque landscape, and we wondered what they were for. Glancing further down the beach, we saw a man in a John Deere Wheel Loader pushing the tubes with the large bucket in an attempt to straighten them. Curious, we walked toward the “big rig” hoping we could find out what was going on. The man chatted with us for a few minutes and explained that the town was planning to dredge the nearby river and pipe the sand (mixed with water) to the beach in order to help with the erosion that was occurring along the shoreline. It sounded like a pretty good plan to us!

That evening, I began to think about how we too “drudge” up things in our lives. Often, it is the painful parts of our past that somehow continue to infiltrate and influence our futures. This happens because when most of us experience pain, we often don't let our feelings flow through us. Instead, we choose to bury them inside, in the “sand,” rather than face them. This “sand” they are buried in becomes heavy and weighs us down. It doesn't diminish or wash away over time. It only grows as we pile on more “sand,” and soon the weight is almost more than we can bear. Then when life isn’t going our way (or even if it is), we bring up our past to prove that nothing ever goes right or to demonstrate that we are not worthy of the blessings we’ve been given. But, what if we released that anger and those pent-up feelings in a positive way? What if we let ourselves feel them instead? In the same way that the pipeline transports the sand, we are transporting those hurt feelings down the pipeline and releasing them, clearing away all that we no longer need. This process helps us release those hurt feelings, to deal with them, and accept them with no judgment. For once the “sand” is washed away, we feel better.

When I face my feelings rather than running from them, I notice my entire body feels differently. Normally, when I feel pain, I turn inward and become angry, wondering why this is happening to me. I begin to doubt my past choices, and regret slowly seeps in and takes over. Not wanting to live with the guilt, I push aside my feelings, hoping they will never come back. I hide the burden, but it never really goes away.

However, when I choose to face my feelings of pain and don’t criticize myself for them, guilt and regret don’t linger. They are simply feelings that I feel and accept. Then I let them go. Soon, the pit in my stomach diminishes, and my shoulders feel a little lighter as though the burdens I've placed upon them aren’t quite as heavy. I stand a little taller and through accepting all my feelings, I begin to wash the “sand” away a little at a time. I have to keep moving forward. I have to grow.

As you think about your past hurts, especially during this holiday season, consider whether it's time to finally face them and let them go. Take the time to really feel them and release the hold they have on your life. Take a handful of “sand” and sprinkle a few grains down the pipeline, allowing them to wash away. Know that you are worthy and you are loved. Breathe deeply, accept your feelings, and release them. Feel the peace…