Heidi Martin's Blog, page 2
March 18, 2017
Creative Seeds
With the vernal equinox right around the corner, many of us are anxious for the warmer days of spring. This is particularly true for those of us who just experienced the big winter snowstorm in the Northeast. We are ready to trade in the icy snow for some fresh green grass.
What is it about spring that makes many of us yearn for this season to begin? Spring ushers in a time of new beginnings, fertile soil, and tremendous growth. It is a time of great excitement and possibility. As the daylight returns, so does our hope for new beginnings in our lives.
Spring is the season of rebirth and renewal where we clear out the old in order to make room for the new. We clean out our closets, dust off the blinds, and till up the soil all in anticipation of new beginnings. But this type of “spring cleaning” isn’t limited to our homes and our yards. We can also do this with our old habits and fears. We can release all the things that are no longer serving our dreams or our visions for the future. Many of us have old habits or fears that we would like to get rid of — things that are holding us back. Perhaps we have a lack of confidence, lingering self-doubts, fears of what others may think of us, or a negative outlook on life. Springtime is the perfect time to release those fears and let them go. It is not always easy, but even acknowledging the existence of those fears is an important step. When we acknowledge them, we can begin to face them and release their power over us. We can “weed out” the old and start fresh again. This enables us to bring more positivity, acceptance, and kindness into our lives. We evolve and grow, a true time of rebirth and renewal.
Spring is also a time to plant seeds of creativity in our projects and visions for the upcoming year. Creativity is an important part of our lives. All of us have ideas within us that want to be expressed. This becomes possible when we take some time to reflect upon our visions or projects for the upcoming year. What are we wanting to create in our lives? Maybe we want to start new hobbies, further expand our businesses, spend more time in nature, or find more time for mediation or creativity in our daily routines. Whatever it may be, we want to think about the visions we have for our future. Envision those ideas and feel their emotions. Believe that they will happen, and they will.
Spring is a wonderful season of rebirth and renewal. This week, take some time to reflect upon your creative visions for the upcoming year. What is it you want to create most in your life? Once you have done this, go to the store and purchase a pack of seeds — flowers, vegetables, herbs — it doesn’t matter. Plant these seeds in the soil outside or in a small pot in your home. These seeds represent the “creative seeds” of your projects or visions for the upcoming year. Water them regularly. As they begin to sprout and grow, may they remind you that you, too, have the power to create your dreams. You are a powerful Creator in this world. Once you release your fears and embrace your creativity, you can manifest anything you desire. Watch your plants grow and know that when you nourish your ideas and visions, they, too, will come to life in extraordinary ways.
March 3, 2017
Getting “Off the Grid”
Last week, my family and I headed up to the mountains of Vermont for some time away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Here in New England, my children have an entire week off from school every February over Presidents’ Day, and my family looks forward to this break every year. After loading up our van, we drove three hours north with great anticipation. We settled into our room and immediately loved the remote location where we could see the majestic mountains and towering pine trees from our windows. We spent most of the week relaxing by the fireplace, playing games, and watching movies, but we didn’t spend the whole time indoors. With the unseasonably warm weather, we also played snow football, sledded down rolling hills, and hiked along wooded trails with many breathtaking views including the stunning Quechee Gorge. We had a wonderful time hanging out together, just the four of us.
Whenever we have an opportunity to get away like this, I often use this time to get “off the grid” for a while. This means I take a complete break from all my electronic devices. So for three days, I turned off my phone, computer, and tablet - no texts, emails, or internet. It was a great opportunity for me to take a break from the outside world. Instead of spending so much time on my devices, I chose to focus on other things like reading, writing, and spending time with my family. This experience of getting “off the grid” reminded me of how easy it is for my life to become consumed with technology. Often, I check my emails, respond to texts from family and friends, use social media, and read the news to be sure I’m up on world events. These activities can even pull me away from doing things I enjoy, causing quite a distraction. But these three days of no technology reminded me, once again, of the benefits of taking a break from my usual routine as well as the importance of establishing boundaries with my electronic devices. Technology is necessary for certain things, but it can easily take over our lives without us even realizing it. Getting “off the grid” is one way for us to see the impact technology is having on our lives first-hand.
Our remote location and time away also enabled me to enjoy our nature hikes even more. Somehow, my senses seemed even more acute to the world around me. I heard the crows cawing loudly in the trees, felt the brisk winter breeze upon my bare cheeks, and smelled the lingering scent of the damp earth that was hidden beneath the snow. Taking a break from my usual routine and focusing my attention on the beautiful world all around me, I felt the world around me change. The views were breathtaking with mountains looming in the distance and picturesque woods all around me. As we walked over a small bridge and heard the soothing stream rushing beneath our feet, I realized serene places like this exist everywhere. I’m just usually too busy to notice. These beautiful mountain paths had shown me that when I take a break from my life, I can see it with new eyes. The busyness goes away, and I no longer miss the things that are right in front of me. I see the beauty of nature and the quality time with my family which, of course, is the most important thing of all.
As I stood in the massive shadows of the mountains, I realized that we, as humans, are here for such a short amount of time. The Green Mountains of Vermont were formed millions of years ago, and they are not going anywhere. They see the sunshine and the rain - the calm and the storm - yet nothing brings them down. They are mighty and powerful. Standing in their strength, they simply allow the world to happen around them as it will, never questioning their role here on this earth. As humans, however, we often try to control the world around us. We try to make things happen in our lives, always striving to achieve more. Yet sometimes, I wonder if when we do that, we completely miss the point. We are so busy striving that we forget to simply “be.” We forget to stand in our strength and trust in our purpose for being here. Looking outside of ourselves for validation, we try to weather the storms and forget that our greatest strength comes from within. When we believe in our own purpose and remember who we truly are, we can make the most of whatever time we’ve been given, no matter how short or long that time might be.
This week, spend some time “off the grid” and away from the busyness of the world, even if it’s just for a little while. Do you notice anything new? Are your senses more attuned? Do you feel any differently? When you slow down long enough to pay attention to the world around you, it is a good time to evaluate your life. Are you appreciating all the things you’ve been given, or are you just rushing from one thing to the next? Are you constantly distracted and out of touch? Through quieting your mind and reflecting, you begin to see the world in entirely new ways. You begin to feel your inner strength and believe in your purpose for this life. You allow yourself to stop striving and to simply “be,” making the most of your life. Then, when you return to the busyness of the world, you can remember these lessons you have learned from your time away. Nature and the mountains can teach you many things, and when you take these lessons to heart, carry them with you, and return to them as often as you can, your world will never be the same.
February 10, 2017
Love Yourself from the Inside Out
This past Monday night, I led a soul circle on the power of love. A soul circle is where women of all ages gather together for a time of connection, inspiration, and healing. Through meditation, movement, group activities, and small group discussions, soul circling provides a safe place where women can unconditionally support one another. Since this is the month of February, I chose to focus on love and the impact it has in our lives. When we think of love, it comes in many forms: romantic love, family love, friendship love, pet love, universal love and everything in between. But the most important love of all is self-love, which forms the foundation for all other types of love. If we cannot truly love ourselves, how can we truly love others? We need to believe in our own worth and value, learning to listen and trust our inner voices. We must love ourselves for who we truly are – perfect, whole and complete. There is nothing we need to fix, change, convert, or heal. All we have to do is be. Through accepting, allowing, and loving ourselves, we come to know we are worthy and enough just as we are. And once we believe in that, we can openly share our love with others, no longer needing to find love outside of ourselves.
Yet, many of us struggle with loving ourselves in this way. We are often our own worst critics, demanding perfection from ourselves all the time. But why is that? Why are we unable to love ourselves so completely? For some of us, it can be traced back to our families of origin. Ever since we were young, we felt as though we had to live up to certain expectations, and we didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Soon, with all that pressure, we came to view ourselves as less than. For others of us, school or society played a role. These institutions often portray people in a certain way: smart, beautiful, athletic, or talented. If we didn’t easily fit into one of these categories, we were often viewed as dumb, ugly, clumsy, or weird. After years of classifying ourselves in this way, we began to believe that we really were “dumb” or “weird” and soon found ourselves wanting to be someone else. For others of us, we came to question our worth because of our own personal experiences with love. Perhaps we gave our love freely to others without question. We loved everyone and everything. But, sadly, our love was stepped on and disregarded as though it didn’t have value. Soon, we came to believe that we didn’t have value either. Or perhaps we had an experience where we had been hurt so badly by love that we learned to harden our hearts. We believed if we didn’t let people in, then we couldn’t be hurt again. But in doing so, we no longer let our own love in, and that was the most damaging of all.
Since all our past experiences greatly influence the way we love ourselves, it’s very important for us to reflect upon those experiences and explore what it means to accept ourselves for who we truly are. We must learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made and realize they have taught us some important life lessons along the way. Gradually, by facing our past, we are able to release the shame and pain that we have carried with us for years as well as any self-doubts about our abilities. We are doing our best, and that is always enough. Once we believe in our worth and value, regardless of anyone else’s opinions, we finally accept who we really are – the whole package, even the parts we don’t like very much. Then we will look within with love rather than judgment and everything will seem a little bit better – a little bit brighter. We will fully believe in our abilities and listen to our inner voices, ready to face the world exactly as we are.
Once we learn to love ourselves, we must also learn to take good care of ourselves. We do this by honoring what our bodies, minds, and spirits need. Meditating or spending time in nature can help us stay grounded and centered. Eating well and exercising can help our bodies stay fit and healthy. Being creative and following our passions can help us express ourselves in entirely new ways. Getting a massage or going out to dinner with friends can help rejuvenate our spirits. It’s about “feeling into” what we need. If enjoying hot bubble baths and listening to soft jazz music is what we love, then that is what we should do. Taking care of ourselves is not selfish, it’s necessary. For when we love and honor ourselves and our needs, we are better able to share that love freely with others.
This week as Valentine’s Day approaches, listen to your inner voice and show yourself some love. Buy some chocolates, enjoy a hot bath, get a massage, walk in the woods, buy a new dress, or go out to a movie. Love yourself wholly and completely. Self-love is truly the most important love of all. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. Trust that you are doing the best you can and that is always enough. Believe in your worth and see things a little more brightly. There is nothing wrong with you. All you have to do is be. And once you appreciate and love yourself, you will know you are perfect, whole, and complete exactly as you are.
January 27, 2017
Watch the Magic Happen
Last week, I finally began writing the first draft of my next book. I had been thinking a great deal about this writing project for the past few months, and I had several ideas percolating in my head. But during this time, I was never able to actually start the book. It seemed whenever I would sit down at the computer, something else would always need my attention. I would check my emails, write my blogs, make flyers, read the news, feed the dog – there were definitely plenty of distractions. As this kept happening, I was frustrated with myself and my inability to write. But as I examined my feelings a bit more closely, I realized that there was a reason I was procrastinating. I was nervous about my future as a writer. I wondered if perhaps the inspiration for this book wouldn’t come as easily as it did for The Refuge. In that novel, the story flowed through me quite easily. Maybe that wouldn’t again. And what if when I finished this book, it wasn’t as good as the last one? Would that mean I wasn’t meant to be a writer? These fears were holding me back. It was time for me to face them and move forward – no more procrastinating.
So last Monday morning, with my stomach churning, I sat down at my computer and began my first draft. Inspiration quickly took root, and the words flowed through me once again. The characters began to take shape and after a short time, I had a compelling first chapter. It was both exciting and gratifying. I was creating a story once again – making something out of nothing – and I was thrilled. This was my return to the world of words that I loved so much. My fears were unfounded. I was creating again, and it gave me tremendous joy. Writing was what I loved to do, and I was expressing myself through my creativity once more.
This experience helped remind me of the important role creativity plays in our lives. Yet most of the time, we don’t express ourselves in this way. Some of us aren’t sure how to be creative while others simply can’t find the time. Even if we are an artists, writers, or musicians, we can become so immersed in our professions and having to complete certain jobs that we don’t allow ourselves to truly be creative. Projects become tasks that we must complete rather than expressions of our creativity, particularly when we are focused on the end results. We create out of necessity rather than fulfillment. And that’s when our souls begin to wither. However, when we create just to create, that is when we feel truly alive. It’s when the real magic happens.
This was no more apparent to me than when my daughter and I made vision boards together a few days ago. We began by cutting out pictures from a large assortment of magazines. Initially, my daughter was worried she wouldn’t choose the right pictures or that her vision board wouldn’t look good when she was finished. I encouraged her to simply stay in the moment and forget about what her completed vision board would look like. Instead, I urged her to focus on simply choosing whatever pictures or words she was drawn to. There was no right or wrong – it was just about choosing from her heart. She liked this idea and happily began her search. Soon, after leafing through countless magazines, we both had many pictures to choose from. We showed each other our favorites and then began arranging them carefully on our papers. Once our last pictures were finally glued into place, our vision boards were complete, and they looked beautiful. They were truly works of art! Although we had used the same materials, the vision boards were distinctly unique and clearly represented the things we each valued. We had used our creativity to express ourselves, enabling inspiration to be our guide and letting go of the results. It was a fulfilling and freeing experience.
For most of us, letting go of the results is a very challenging part of living creatively. That’s because often we want our creations to turn out perfectly. When we nit-pick our ideas or worry that our products won’t be perfect, it impedes our imaginations and prevents inspiration from flowing through us. We place judgments on our creations, and unfortunately, we are often our own worst critics. Judgments and fears do not encourage creativity. In fact, they do the exact opposite. So, we cannot allow perfectionism to sneak in. We must remember that it’s all about the creative process. It’s about stepping out of the mind and into the heart – letting inspiration be our guide. We need to just enjoy the process and let go. The end result will take care of itself. Once we’re finished, it doesn’t matter if our paintings or drawings or writings are the best ones in the world. What matters is whether we were passionate about what we created and whether we freely expressed ourselves. It’s about having fun and letting our hearts take over. For when we create something out of nothing and utilize our different avenues of creativity, that’s when we feel truly alive.
This week, explore your creativity. What are you passionate about? What types of things do you enjoy doing? Draw pictures with crayons, paint landscapes, make pieces of pottery, carve wooden figurines, write stories, knit scarves, play instruments – do whatever feels good to you. Enjoy the process and release your need to control the outcome. How does it feel? Is it thrilling to create something out of nothing? Take time to create. Let your heart take over. Live out your passion and fully express yourself. Face your fears and release your judgments. Let inspiration be your guide and see how freeing that can be. But remember, part of being creative is living outside the box. Sketch building designs, splash colored paints upon the walls, make dresses out of duct tape, or start your next book. There are no rules when it comes to creativity. And that’s what makes it so much fun! Create just to create and watch the magic happen!
January 13, 2017
Dance the Night Away
In my life, music has a powerful effect upon my writing. Whenever I sit down at my computer, I play calming, meditative music. The melodies center me, and the music enables the words I am writing to flow almost effortlessly. It’s as though the music helps me connect with my thoughts on an unconscious level, enabling the inspiration to flow and preventing me from getting stuck in my own head. Completely free and unblocked, I write from my soul – the place from where true inspiration comes.
Many of us spend a great deal of time stuck in our heads. But music enables us to become grounded and connected with our bodies once again. When we feel the beat of the drums or move to the music’s rhythms, we get out of our heads and into our hearts. Singing is the perfect example of this. When we fervently sing a song without any fear of judgment, it can be a very freeing experience. Belting out a song, particularly one we’ve completely made up, can be one of the most liberating experiences of all. Then when we add the movement of our hips or arms into the mix, we feel even better. Movement and music allow us to fully express ourselves.
When we move to the beats of the music and feel its rhythms deep within our souls, we begin to understand its healing power. Our worries and doubts start to fade away – as though they aren’t quite as important anymore. The music connects with our souls, and we are free. It’s as though the melodies stir something deep within us, enabling us to express all of our emotions, even the ones we have hidden beneath the surface. We can feel everything and believe it’s totally safe to express ourselves. For example, song lyrics often originate from the deepest part of ourselves when all of our emotions pour out onto the page, fully expressed. It’s an exercise in vulnerability and healing. The music comes from deep within, stirring our souls and helping them become alive once again.
This week, listen to all kinds of music. How do the different songs make you feel? Do your moods change based on the music you listen to? When you allow yourself to truly feel the beat of the drums, does it help you get out of your head and into your body? Is the music inspiring? Try belting a song from the top of your lungs or writing lyrics from your heart. Feel the way music connects with your soul and enables you to fully express yourself. Music lets you feel, and it helps you heal. It works in powerful ways when we step back and let it do its magic. Whether it’s a little rock n’ roll or a little classical or a little country, pick your favorite, turn up the music, and dance the night away.
December 29, 2016
Sacred Intentions
This year, my family and I wanted to experience this first-hand. So, on the evening of the winter solstice (December 21st), we gathered around our dining room table and placed a long, thick red ribbon at its center. Each of us took a portion of the ribbon and with black Sharpies, we wrote our hopes and visions for the upcoming year upon the soft red fabric. The written words represented our sacred intentions that we were placing out into the Universe. And although some of the words bled onto the ribbon, making them difficult to read, that did not matter, for those words had already been written onto our hearts. Once we were finished, we picked up the ribbon and carefully wrapped it around our Christmas tree. The brilliant red ribbon shone brightly in the twinkling lights of the branches. It was a beautiful sight. In the tree’s soft glow, we could see the faint words of our sacred intentions for the upcoming year. By declaring them and making them our own, our hopes and visions could now manifest themselves in the world. It was a powerful experience.
But the winter solstice is not the only powerful time for setting sacred intentions. The New Year is also a great opportunity to declare our visions for the upcoming year. Reflecting upon all that has happened in the past twelve months and focusing on our hopes for 2017, we can bring forth our visions for the future and what we want to create next in our lives. But for many of us, setting sacred intentions is a new idea. Normally, we make New Year’s resolutions instead. We resolve to lose weight, spend less money, or quit smoking. But most of the time, our resolutions are based upon what we don’t want, rather than what we do. And often, we end up trying to make ourselves into people we are not, especially when we make these resolutions from our minds rather than from our hearts. That is why many of us fail to achieve them. According to statisticbrain.com, only 8% of people are successful in achieving their New Year’s resolutions. When we try to change the people we are, our resolutions become impossible to keep.
But sacred intentions are different. Sacred intentions are something we want to create within our lives, and they come from our soul, our inner energy. For example, perhaps we want to be more loving, express ourselves more creatively, journal regularly, expand our businesses, or read more books. These intentions are our hopes or visions for our future, and we can continually work on them throughout the year. Once we set these sacred intentions, we have declared them to the Universe. Now, they can manifest. Simply declaring our intentions, whether we speak them out loud or think them in our minds, is a powerful way to make them come true. We can help speak them into reality. But, we must also be willing to let them go and detach ourselves from the outcome. The Universe will work on our behalf to manifest our intentions. That’s how energy works.
As 2017 quickly approaches, reflect upon your sacred intentions for the upcoming year. What are your hopes for the future? What do you want to create next in your life? Spend some time reflecting upon your sacred intentions, listen to your heart, and write them down. They don’t have to be written on a ribbon, nor do they have to be placed on a Christmas tree. Trust that your intentions have been declared to the Universe. Once that is done, let them go and see how they manifest. Continue to work toward your hopes and visions throughout the year. Through your sacred intentions you can create the life you want and make your visions a reality. Reflect upon the power of your own inner light and when things appear at their darkest, let your light burn brightly within you.
December 15, 2016
Love with Your Heart Wide Open
Spending time with the different people in our lives can teach us many life lessons. But the one I want to focus on today is the importance of loving people wherever they are at on their lives’ journeys. During the holiday season, many of us spend more time with families, friends, co-workers, or neighbors than we usually do. And even if our time with them is limited, many of them are still on our minds. Whether we are scanning the aisles in desperate search for the perfect gift (Christmas sweater, anyone?) or pondering why Grandma’s fruitcake is still on the menu, friends and families are a part of our lives – although sometimes, spending time with them can be challenging. When things don’t go as planned, we find ourselves feeling frustrated and disappointed. But, the people in our lives are who they are. So, that’s why it is so important to show them as much acceptance and love as we can.
Our relationships with others often contain many different dynamics. Sometimes, we feel close connections with certain people while with others we find it difficult to reach common ground. With so many varying personalities and opinions, it can, at times, create conflict and anxiety. Past hurts can linger, and the emotional scars they leave behind can often impact our present interactions. And, that’s not all. Sometimes, we feel judged or criticized for the choices we make, and the words are hurtful. This can be an especially challenging situation. Do we remain silent and try to love the person unconditionally, or do we speak our truth – not from anger, but from love?
Dr. Lissa Rankin, New York Times best-selling author, believes that the best way to navigate situations like these is through healthy boundaries. She emphasizes the importance of accepting and loving others with our hearts wide open, giving them unconditional love without any expectation or judgment. But, as many of us already know, this is a very difficult thing to do. So, Dr. Rankin encourages us to take it one step further. She believes that loving people unconditionally doesn’t mean we let them hurt us over and over again. Instead, it’s about establishing appropriate boundaries. We give our love freely, but then we choose who we allow into our “inner circle.” These are the people with whom we choose to spend our time. So, if someone repeatedly doesn’t treat us well, we don’t have to talk to her every day on the phone or meet her for dinner every week. As Lissa says, “That way, if someone isn’t treating you with impeccable respect, you simply limit access without making up a story about it. No point becoming the exploding doormat. That’s not enlightened either. Your heart stays wide open. The boundaries close up though. Unconditional love, absolute freedom, conditional access.”
We have the power to determine whether someone else is treating us right. And we get to choose how we respond to that treatment. We can be loving without being a “doormat.” We can choose to speak our truth not from judgment, but from love. And if people continually hurt us with their words, we can establish appropriate boundaries and limit our contact with them. Unconditional love doesn’t mean we willingly accept how people choose to treat us. But it does mean we choose to love and accept people wherever they are at on their respective journeys.
This holiday season think about your relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. How do you interact with them? Do you love them unconditionally and accept them for who they are? Can you open your heart to loving them without judgment? Can you speak your truth from love when someone has hurt you? If you live from love and let go of your expectations, amazing things can happen. Establishing healthy boundaries and spending time with those who fill you rather than deplete you can make all the difference. Open your heart and love unconditionally and see how acceptance and love can not only change your relationships, but your whole life as well.
December 1, 2016
The Language of Love
Love languages provide valuable insight that can be particularly helpful during the holiday season. If your wife’s love language is quality time, then she would rather spend a quiet afternoon sharing a picnic lunch with you than receiving an expensive gift. If your brother’s love language is acts of service, then he would rather have your help moving a bookshelf or serving dinner at a local soup kitchen than take a hike with you in the woods. What your family members love the most might not be what you love the most. So, before you buy everyone on your list gifts this year, ask questions and evaluate what your friends and family members enjoy doing and how they express their love to others. All of these are clues to their love languages. And, you want to do this for your children as well. They have love languages too. Once you know which languages your family members speak, it makes showing your love that much easier.
But, learning someone’s love language doesn’t just help with holiday shopping. It also makes a big difference in our everyday relationships. For example, if your spouse’s love language is physical touch and your love language is acts of service, you clearly receive love in different ways. Your spouse might give you a hug to show his love when all you really want is for him to help you with the laundry. Or, you might help your spouse fix the sink when all he wants to do is snuggle on the couch. Often, this creates tensions in a relationship and both spouses believe they aren’t getting what they need. This can lead to frustration and unhappiness, which is why learning about love languages is so beneficial. It helps us communicate our love effectively while also creating a closer emotional connection with our loved ones.
This week, learn the love languages of those closest to you. What do they enjoy doing? How do they express their love to others? Once you’ve learned how your family or friends want to receive love, express your love to them in the most meaningful way possible. It might just be the best “gift” they receive this holiday season. But don’t stop there. Take some time to reflect upon your own love language. How do you best give and receive love? Would you rather receive a beautiful diamond necklace or have your partner make you a romantic dinner? Both may sound enticing, but which one appeals to you more? Discover how you want to receive love and then nurture yourself over these next few weeks. Show love to yourself through whatever language speaks to you, whether it’s spending quality time taking a hot bubble bath or writing down loving affirmations about yourself. Feel the love surround you, and then share that love with others in the best way you can this holiday season.
November 18, 2016
The Healing Power Within You
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to give presentations about my latest book, The Refuge. I love sharing my story with audiences and listening to their feedback as well as answering their questions. It’s always a fun experience. Sometimes, even after the event is over, a particular question will continue to resonate with me. I had this happen just a few days ago. A woman had asked me if I had ever experienced a great loss similar to that of my main character, Anna Waters. In reply, I shared about a loss that was very personal to me – the loss of myself years ago – which opened up a whole new conversation about wounds and healing. The woman went on to say that she could tell my writing and my life were very closely connected. When I got home that evening, the woman’s question re-entered my mind. As I pondered it further, I was reminded of the important role writing played in my healing process. Many years ago, I decided to write a book with its sole purpose to help me heal, and it did just that. I never intended to publish the book, and I never did. But writing that book also helped me realize my deep love for writing. It even turned out to be the catalyst for my future writing endeavors – even though they wouldn’t materialize for more than ten years.
Reminded of the important connection between healing and writing, I thought about the author presentations I had already done. Usually, I focused my talks on the inspiration behind both of my books as well as the writing process. I wanted the audiences to learn about my particular writing style as well as “behind the scenes” tidbits that would be both interesting and entertaining. Although my audiences enjoyed my presentations, I now realize that what I was sharing with them was only part of the story. I hadn’t been sharing the deepest, darkest parts of myself because, honestly, those were things I didn’t even share with people who knew me well. So, if I didn’t share this information with friends, why would I share it with complete strangers? Yet, a part of me knew the value of sharing in a deep and vulnerable way. Healing happens when people are willing to connect with themselves and be vulnerable – it truly makes such a difference. But sometimes, it’s hard to know just how vulnerable to be.
The Refuge is a book about healing. Two of the central themes revolve around discovering who we are and loving ourselves no matter what. Although my experiences in life may have been different from Anna’s (though not always), the lessons remained the same. That’s why the book is so close to my heart. Within those pages are my own pain and struggles. Many of the journal entries I included are actually entries from my own journals over the years. That’s part of the healing/writing connection. Ultimately, this novel is about Anna’s journey of self-discovery, but it’s about mine as well. And the journey was not an easy one for neither Anna nor myself. As many of us know, facing our fears and admitting our deepest worries are difficult things to do. But it’s our struggles that lead to our liberation – that’s how we finally feel free. Pain is how we grow. It’s how we learn. It teaches us our most valuable life lessons.
So moving forward, I have decided to incorporate the healing/writing connection as well as my own vulnerability into my future presentations. People need to know that they are not alone when they experience dark times in their lives. We all have challenges; we all face difficulties – but it’s what we do with those that matter. It’s that we keep on going and never give up. We endure and come out even stronger on the other side. We all have so much brilliance and healing power within ourselves, and we just have to discover it. That’s part of being vulnerable, and that’s how we heal.
This week, explore the healing/writing connection as well as your own vulnerability. Are there some areas of your life you would like to change? Are there wounds that need to be healed? Look within and examine where you are on your journey. What are some valuable life lessons you have learned along the way? Journal about these questions and be honest with yourself. Be willing to work through your fears, not letting them hold you back. Write whatever is on your heart. Discover your brilliance. Your healing is worth more than all the money in the world. So, take a look inside and find the healing power within you.
November 4, 2016
Hidden Gems
This past week, I had the privilege of connecting with many different people while presenting at the Local Author Night at Barnes and Noble as well as facilitating a local circling group. It was great seeing friends and former colleagues in attendance, but it was also fun meeting new people and listening to their stories. These experiences reminded me of the important role connections play in our lives – both our connections with others as well as our connections with ourselves.
When we have connections in our lives, we feel valued. But too many of us look outside ourselves for this validation. We let the opinions of our friends, our family, or even complete strangers determine our worthiness. But placing our worth in the hands of others is an unhealthy thing to do. For when we look to the outside world for validation, we often end up feeling like we don’t quite measure up. We continue striving for more and believing that if we act or dress a certain way people will accept us. We will do almost anything to make those connections we long for. But the truth is, that isn’t how it works. In order for us to connect with others, we must first connect with ourselves.
In order to do this, we must begin by peeling back the layers of how we present ourselves to the world. Our financial portfolios, academic achievements, physical appearances, and material possessions don’t determine our worth. We must delve beneath these layers, digging ever deeper until we uncover our true selves. Like hidden gems, we begin to sparkle when we let our inner light shine.
Once we uncover our true selves, we must love ourselves deeply. We must believe that we are enough, and we are worthy. The intense love we feel for our own daughters, mothers, or sisters is the exact same love we need to feel for ourselves. We must let go of the criticism and self-judgment, which will finally enable us to bask in our own brilliance. Embracing our true selves, we begin to hear our inner voice. We come to believe that we are whole and complete. There is nothing about us that needs to be changed or fixed. All we have to be is ourselves. We learn to trust our intuition. But it isn’t always easy. In our busy lives, we often listen to our minds instead of our hearts. Stuck in our “heads,” we become disconnected. It is then that we must slow down, breathe, and feel our connection with our entire body once more, trusting that through this grounding process, our inner voice will return.
When we connect with our bodies through meditation or walking in nature, we are grounded. We hear our inner voices and accept ourselves exactly as we are. Our intuitions expand, and we become the people we were made to be. We feel valued and whole. And once this connection with ourselves begins, we are able to make deep connections with others. Showing the world who we truly are and living an authentic life, we inspire others to do the same. Our lives matter, and when we are connected, anything is possible.
What about your inner voice? Can you hear what it’s telling you? Do you believe in your own worth? Do you believe in your own value? Listen and connect. Accept yourself for who you are and love yourself from the inside out. Peel back all the layers that you present to the world and connect with your “hidden gem” – showing off your sparkling light to the world. You are enough exactly as you are. Stay grounded and listen to your intuition. Believe in all the unique gifts you bring into this world. For once you connect with your true self, your world will be forever changed. Your inner light will shine for all to see.