The Seagull's Lesson

One sunny morning this past week, I walked along the beach with a friend. With the tide at its lowest point, the smooth, moist sand was perfect for meandering near the waves. As we made our way down the shoreline, we noticed several plump seagulls resting contentedly in the sun. They were healthy and stout. Clearly, nature had been kind to them this past winter. From the corner of my eye, I noticed a lone gull walking further up the beach with a small crab dangling from his beak. Leisurely, he sauntered away from the flock, content to eat his meal alone. Nature had provided him with a meaty breakfast. Watching him, I realized that seagulls live a life without worry. They don’t wander along the shoreline anxious about where their next meal will come from. Instead, they stand ever-ready near the waves. Watching intently, they wait for the perfect opportunity where they can catch their prey. Seagulls simply live in the now. They don’t plan ahead for their future or regret their past. It’s all about living in the moment and trusting that nature will provide for them. Worry is not a part of their existence. What a peaceful and contented life that must be!

For many of us, worry is ingrained into nearly every aspect of our lives. We worry about things both big and small – what to buy our mothers for their birthdays, when our next check will come in the mail, or even what the test results from the doctor will show. But worry isn’t just for adults. Kids experience it as well. My daughter had MCAS testing at her school this past week, and she was extremely anxious about it. She described several of the possible worst-case scenarios and even had trouble falling asleep. Her worries were very real. When I uttered the usual phrase, “Try not to worry,” the words felt hollow and unhelpful. She needed a way to release her anxiety, and those words were simply not enough.  

So, why do we worry? Usually, it’s because we are afraid of the unknown. We worry about what will happen to the people we love or what will happen to ourselves. The future is unpredictable. This makes us worry about losing the things we already have: happiness, family, love, money, freedom, and life itself. We are anxious about making decisions because we don’t want to make a mistake. We don’t want to screw up our lives.

We also worry about how others perceive us. Most of the time, we have certain personas that we present to the world. We worry that people might see us for who we truly are, so we hide behind whatever masks we can – sometimes hiding from our very selves. It’s our insecurities that we feel must stay hidden. No one can know they exist. So, we worry. But, in the end worry only makes things worse.

How can we stop worrying? It starts when we realize that worrying is not rational. The “what if” scenarios we imagine in our minds are not actually very likely to occur. We probably won’t be hit by a bus when we walk across the street tomorrow. It could happen, but it is not very likely. Once we understand this, we have to go a little further. We have to look within and discover what our anxieties are trying to tell us. Maybe it’s time to change our diet or find a more fulfilling career. We need to listen to our anxieties. They may be trying to teach us something.

Also, we must stop being afraid of losing the things we have. For those “things” are not really ours to begin with. Love and happiness do not belong to us. They are not ours to possess. Really, the only thing we will truly lose when we die is our human identity. Our souls live on. As Dr. Wayne Dyer, an American philosopher, said, “We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.” We need to be less attached to our own existence. There is no security in life other than that which comes from within. It’s all about accepting ourselves as we are and letting go of the need to control things. Live in the present. Make the best decisions you can and move on with your life. Accept that one day we will all die. Stop being afraid and know that when your time comes, it comes. There is something freeing about believing that simple truth.

This week, pay attention to your worries. Are they trying to tell you something? Is there an area of your life where you need to make a change? Is something out of balance? Your worries can teach you a great deal about yourself if you are willing to listen. Take their advice and make a change. Don’t worry about the future or what you are going to lose. Instead, live in the present and make the best decisions you can. Live like the plump seagull – take what is given to you and let go of all the rest. It isn’t in your control anyway. Be gracious and live every day to the fullest. You are an eternal being. Release the fear and see how peaceful and content you can finally be.