S.E. Isaac's Blog, page 50

Insecurities

The first step to living a happy life is throwing away all of your insecurities. You cannot expect to live ‘happily ever after’, if you doubt yourself and the world around you. I personally am working towards this. I tend to think the worse of life. I feel that if someone is being kind to me or expressing ‘I love you’ that there is an ulterior motive. I need to learn to let go of my past and let go of my insecurities that were created from my past in order to move forward.

 

 

Writing of Emotions

I haven’t written any sort of poem-type in years. The other day my plate of life was so full, I had to write. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on a book, but needed that therapeutic mind release…

 

Cocooned

 

My wings were stuck

Stuck within the walls

The walls of the cocoon

The cocoon that held me for years.

 

As the years passed,

Passed me by,

I awoke from my slumber.

A slumber with the darkest dreams.

 

There was no warmth

No comfort

No feelings

I was alone

 

Alone to vast in the nothing

The nothing that I was born

The nothing that held me

Held me against its walls

 

Then one day,

One unexpected day.

The cocoon began to open

Ever so lightly

 

It was only a glimpse

But I could finally see the light.

It was bright and marvelous

A feeling of joy swept through me

 

Feelings that I never knew existed

Feelings that swept through me like waves

Waves of warmth, joy, and hope

The end to my darkness

 

As though it wasn’t real

The cocoon slammed shut

Keeping me imprisoned

In the safety and darkness

 

The darkness was my destiny

The light was only a reminder

A reminder of my true life

My life in darkness.

A writer in over her head

Where to even begin, when I am writing such a chaotic state of mind? I feel as though I have been tossed in a blender with emotions, pain, confusion, and sorrow. Maybe not a blender. Perhaps a tornado? I am spinning around being tossed against objects unexpectedly. As soon as I think the spinning is done, it starts all over again.

Hi, my name is Siobhan and I’m a mother of a child with autism, bipolar, and ODD.

Always happy hour!

I truly believe that you have to make your own life how you wish. I believe that in order for me to find my happiness that I need to make drastic changes. I am currently being pulled under water. I need to cut the anchors that our weighing me down. I need to lose weight and eat healthier. This will make me happier….baby steps, but necessary steps…

Who is  with me? I need positive people surrounding me. No more negative nancies! :-p

Rain

Alright, Hawaii. You are disappointing me. The movies and such always have all of these sexy men. Where are they? So far the men that have been seen are…not a reflection of the movies. I know, they were actors, but a girl can dream of an island full of sexy men, right?

Delta

Well, we are checked in. We have less than 24 hours before we are on the plane to our new beginning. I am just hoping that Delta will be able to assist me with my special needs son and get us to the gates peacefully. Hoping for a smooth trip, tomorrow….okay, I am begging for a smooth trip, tomorrow. lol

Train to Anguish!

My first novel is being released April 5th!!! It is an urban fantasy and I’m in need of beta readers. Anyone interested? If so, please message me or email my publisher directly pinkneonpublishing@gmail.com for more information.

Happy reading! :-)

Aloha…

My chapter in Missouri is coming to a close. I moved here because family told me that they would help me with my children; my special needs child imparticular. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen.

Life has become overwhelming. Mentally and physically draining. I have tried to keep my head above water for as long as I could. I am a strong woman. At least I consider myself to be one; however, I had to cry for help. The water was over my head.

I am very blessed to have my mother. I called her bawling my eyes out. I verbally threw up every dark emotion that was consuming me. Without hesitation, she came all the way from Hawaii to my rescue. With a lot of conversation, I decided it was best for my family to go back to Hawaii with her and start over.

I always come back to Missouri with positive thoughts, but always end up in the deep end. This will be the last time I call Missouri my home. I will visit my friends, who are family to me, but will not make roots here. The family members, who told me to pack up and leave Texas, I will be writing off.

These past weeks have shown me true colors and unfortunately these colors are not pretty. Ohana. Ohana is what I had hoped for. I have been trying since my childhood to build a good relationship with this person. Every time I think it is strengthening it falls to shambles. It is time to say ‘goodbye’. Goodbye to Missouri. Goodbye to false hopes. Goodbye to negativity. Goodbye, old me.

 

 

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As always, HAPPY READING!


XoXo
S.E.Isaac

Knock! Knock! Who’s there? ME!!!!!!

 

 

S.E.Isaac Amazon book page!!!!     <<<<:-)

 

Stop by my page on Amazon. Perhaps, pick up a book or two. The books I recommend for the majority of my readers are Country Fever and Halloween Desires; however, with that being said, these books are only for those who like Fifty Shades of Gray content …

Happy Reading! ;-)

XoXo

S.E.Isaac