HastyWords's Blog, page 38

THE VALUE OF A LIFE

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I felt for so long I was worthless. That nobody would love someone “like me”. When I say “like me” I mean someone with low self-confidence, emotional instability, overweight, and constantly comparing myself to others. But once I got all the emotionally challenging parts of my life behind me I started to realize I actually have quite a lot to offer people.

All those things I thought were bad were either fixable or not that bad. Many of the things I felt were “bad” were really just things someone else didn’t like about me. Let’s face it when someone loves you they will see beauty in the things that would otherwise annoy them. If they aren’t really that into you those things become too much to handle. You become obnoxious and unbearable.

That doesn’t mean you’re bad. Or not good enough. What one person doesn’t value someone else will find great value in.

Instead of taking inventory of all your faults, which is the most common and natural thing to do, take note of all your wonderful qualities. Those things that are core to who you are and can be valuable contributions to a relationship. All relationships.

My valuables:

I’m genuine. Honest. Trustworthy.

I’m kind. Sometimes to a fault.

I’m patient with others even if not with myself.

I have a strong moral compass.

I’m flexible and I’ve learned to limit expectations.

I’ve learned you can’t make someone love you if they don’t which has helped me let those I love go when I’m not their first choice.

I’m supportive. I think this is the thing I value most about myself.

The list of flaws is much longer. I could write for days about how I hate how I look or how I care too much about things. I hurt myself in order to benefit others. I try to be stronger than I really am in order to allow someone else to accomplish a goal.

In the grand scheme of life the only thing I think will matter in the end is how much good you put into the world. And I’m willing to bet more good happens when you value yourself.

What are the things you love most about yourself??

ADDICTIVE SMILES

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It’s magic the way you smile at me

They way it dances across your face

And mindlessly flirts with my eyes

The way it grabs my attention

And doesn’t need to demand it

But simply holds it in its grasp

Just by merely existing, by being real

God knows I love how it makes me feel

And I smile back hoping it lingers

Because I’m addicted to your smile

And constantly in the need for a fix

Whose smile are you addicted too? Who makes you smile the most often?

I GOT LOST

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I got lost.

One moment I was speed typing my thoughts across the page. My thoughts racing so fast I could barely keep up. I’d slap a corresponding picture up, type in a few tags and hit publish. Not once a day but several times a day.

The next moment, two years later or maybe it’s been three, I am looking at the screen wondering…. where did I go? What have I been doing?

I accomplished so much here and met so many people.  And then it’s like I was abducted by aliens and I just disappeared from here. Sure I have posted a few things but the person I was got lost… or is she gone?

I’ve always hated the world blog. I mean it sound like something a frog would say as it’s clearing it’s throat. Nonetheless, I found myself blogging my feelings nearly 10 years ago as a way to exercise my demons. Because out of shape demons are nasty little bastards. Seriously though, I was just a person trying to keep her shit together. I mean some of you have been here from the beginning.

I wonder if you are still here?

This has always been a place for me to be real. Real with myself as much as anyone. So if I were to be REAL about where I have been I’d have to say I’ve been doing the hard work it takes to survive some major changes.

I got sober and I got a divorce.

Oh and my daughter is now a teenager.

I also fell in love with a really nice man.  I feel lucky.

So I don’t think I got lost… but maybe just a bit sidetracked and here I am your prodigal sister wondering where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing.

 

 

 

NICER WITH YOU

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To those who smile

When times are tough

And those who laugh

Through a flood of tears

To those who give

When they have so little

To those who hurt

And still choose love

I just want say… WOW

I know it isn’t easy

Because man

Life is so damn hard

But you make it easier

You are an inspiration

You make a difference

Sometimes…

It’s your smile

It’s your words

It’s your voice

It’s your generosity

It’s your time

It’s your help

Sometimes it’s just

Knowing you exist

So hang on… please

Because the new year

And each year to come

Will be nicer with you

CRITICAL VOICES

There are people everyday with a variety of mental disorders doing very courageous things by any standard. Focus on your abilities. Strengthen them. Starve the nasty voices in your head that say you aren’t good enough and feed the voices that are cheering you on.

We all have that critical voice that seems to be against our growth. It sabotages our success before we even start. It is the voice that causes us to be irrationally on the defensive.

It’s good to listen to the voice from a neutral stance. We should pay attention and examine why we slipped into a bad mood all of the sudden. Or why we get upset when a song comes on or when certain phrases are uttered.

Only by knowing what our negative voice is whispering can we stop feeding it the reactions it craves. We can starve the voices.

Not only are you capable of great things you are capable of courageous things.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/anxiety-pictures/celebrities-with-anxiety-disorders.aspx

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HOW TO GET BEAT UP

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A few weeks ago I shared a post about a new series hitting YouTube titled How To Get Beat Up.  Each episode takes place in Winnipeg where “The Master”, a character played by Byron Hamel, goes to challenge real life martial artists.  It’s full of informative yet fun improvisational humor that is becoming a wonderful trademark of Byron’s journalistic style.

I highly recommend you watch the first two Episodes and leave a comment letting them know what you think.  More episodes will be rolled out each Thursday so be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the channel to get updates.  If you want to see more be sure to hit LIKE AND SHARE so they can continue making even more episodes.

I love this series because not only does Byron and his team love making people laugh they also love sharing the good and hard work that people are doing in their community.  Martial Arts is really good for the community.

My daughter practiced Kung Fu and reaped so many valuable lessons that went far beyond anything she learned physically.  It can teach them some great values as well as create a kind and strong character.  But one of the things I noticed my daughter learning was how to focus.  She has anxiety so focus is important.  She also learned far more about patience and confidence from her Sifu than she could have ever learned from me.  Discipline however… well… she is still working on that

How to Get Beat Up Hitting YouTube

I am so excited about this new series coming out on YouTube later this month. I hope you subscribe because Byron has created some fun teasers to entertain you until it rolls out. Please like and share until the series starts so we can get the channel established.

Thank you ahead of time for your help in this new endeavor of ours!!!!

Help us make the world laugh… we need more laughter.

BYRONHAMEL.COM

Full of deadpan gags, pranks, and good clean slapstick for a general audience, How To Get Beat Up is a television micro series mixing lifestyle and comedy. Award-winning journalist and host Byron Hamel poses as a wannabe fighting master, challenging actual martial arts masters to duels and, well… getting beat up.

Originally produced for Bell MTS and available now on Fibe TV1, How to Get Beat Up makes it’s way to YouTube on October 25, 2018. This series will be updated weekly, and is FREE to watch!

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to our channel and watch our series!

Subscribing to our channel helps us get paid for our work, and is the best way, this side of giving us cash, to help us keep making the show.

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MOODrx

 

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Super psychotic, pathetic, flipped- out, insane

Roadblocks of loathing and contempt blinding me like rain

Trapped inside my head without a systematic thought to skewer

Ideas like pills in a bottle waiting to be flushed down the sewer

Don’t tell me to smile when my mind is all clouded, wrapped up, and shrouded

Because the smile will slither, slide, and squirm; authenticity doubted

I’m probably lying to myself, always denying, slow fade to dying

Desperately looking at faces with sugar coated, honey dew smiles but underlying

Is a fate lying in wait to consume the hate and jealousy I constantly conceive

Then my mouth opens up words come spilling out and then it’s me who begins to deceive.

I’m okay

Just a bad day today

 

MISOSOUPNY

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Pretty white dress

Stands alone

Listen as it speaks

Don’t stress

It’s ok

It’ll be okay

Don’t worry

Don’t digress

It’s a process

It’s just a dress

Soup spoons

Fall from the sky

As white dress

Falls to the ground

Trampled

Sorry for the mess

Nothing to see here

It’s a process

We confess

Hey thanks though

For sticking around

Dinner will be served

In just a few

DEPRESSION FLAVORED VODKA

#OctoWriMo2018

Day 2

One thing I’ve learned about MY depression is that being sober and staying away from alcohol is a MUST.  Alcohol is a depressant. You may feel ok for a short (very short while) but it is short lived and then you are worse off than you were. The best thing I ever did for myself was to get sober.

Depression has it’s own voice. It is a very persuasive voice. It is too risky not to be sober when it starts whispering in your ear.

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Let me fill

Your veins

Full of gasoline

Breath my toxic

Cherry Vodka

Breathe into your

Anxious thoughts

I’ll give you

The quiet

Your mind craves

My drinks are

Served silent

This alcohol will

Steal your words

After all you are

Fighting chains

Without keys

And you are tired

Tired of

Hiding tears and

Faking smiles of

This fading life

So go ahead ask

Ask me for one more

One more shot

And then lie back

Look at the sky

And observe your

Heart as it beats

Above the clouds

And watch as the

Lightning screams

Across the sky

Playing tag

With the stars

Oblivious

To your pain

Unaware

Of how numb

To life you’ve become