Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 30

1 Important Step Most People Take Too Late in Life

Too often people overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making good decisions and small steps of progress on a daily basis.

You’re probably familiar with what’s known as the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There’s an important lesson here — one that’s very often glossed over…

When a chaotic reality is swirling around us, we often try to relieve our anxiety by exerting our will over external things we cannot control.

It helps us stave off one of the most dreaded feelings: complete powerlessness.

With that in mind, I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that generally speaking, almost everything is (more…)

8 Things You Will Regret Not Letting Go of Sooner in Life

Oftentimes you don’t even realize you’re blocking your own present blessings by holding on to everything so tightly.

It’s always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end. Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. It doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those former parts of your life that are over, and those little ideals in your mind that simply aren’t meant to be.

Throughout the past decade, as Angel and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the most common cause of human frustration on the average day is our stubborn propensity to hold on to things long after it’s time to let go. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will go exactly as we imagine, and then we complicate our lives to no end when they don’t.

So let’s take a look at some common things we often regret holding on to until the bitter end… (more…)

20 Things We Should All Be Telling Ourselves More Often

Let’s cut to the chase right now. What you ultimately do comes out of who you believe you are. You have to practice believing in yourself and ignoring the naysayers. Because while you may not be able to control the impolite and unfair things some people say and do, you can press forward and decide not to be endlessly derailed by them.

Of course I know that’s much easier said than done, but you must remind yourself that it can be done!

How?

Start by leveraging the right affirmations. After all, it’s not what others say about you, and it’s not what you broadcast to everyone else that determines the trajectory of your life. It’s what you whisper to yourself behind (more…)

11 Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits We Should Bring Back

Love is great when spoken, but greatest when shown. Do little things daily to show your loved ones you care.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on a park bench in the early afternoon when an elderly couple pulled their car up under a nearby oak tree. They rolled down the windows and turned up some jazz music on the car stereo. Then the man got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, opened the door for the woman, took her hand and guided her about ten feet away from the car, and they slow danced to a song under the oak tree. It was such a beautiful moment to witness.

This morning when I opened my laptop to write, the elderly couple immediately came to mind. I spent a few minutes daydreaming about them, wondering how long they had been together and what their best relationship advice would be. And just as I caught my mind wandering even further off, a new email from a reader named Cory popped up in my inbox. The first line of the email was a question: “Any good old-fashioned advice for strengthening our relationships?”

The synchronicity of my daydreaming and Cory’s question made me smile. So in honor of that beautiful elderly couple, and in service of Cory’s relationship inquiry, here are some old-fashioned habits we can practice bringing back into our relationships: (more…)

10 Mindful Ways to Remain Calm When Others Seem Out of Control

You can’t calm the storm. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will gradually pass.

Over the past decade, there’s a way of being I’ve gradually been cultivating in myself — I’ve been taming my tendency to get riled up and argue with people when their behavior doesn’t match my expectations.

As human beings we all have an idea in our heads about how things are supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes us up the most. We get frustrated when things don’t play out the way we expect them to, and when people don’t behave like they’re “supposed” to. We expect our family to act a certain way, our friends to always be kind, and strangers to be less difficult.

And when reality hits us, and everyone seems to be doing the opposite of what we expect them to do, we get triggered — anger, frustration, arguments, tears, etc.

If you can relate in any way at all right now, it’s time to remind yourself of the truth: (more…)

20 Essential Things to Start Doing for Your Own Happiness and Peace of Mind

Patience isn’t about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.

As you move through the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself that it takes roughly 66 days to form a habit on average. So for the next nine and a half weeks, consciously leverage the actionable reminders below to look at the brighter side of your life, and you will gradually rewire your brain.

1. Start steadying yourself with simple rituals.

When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Make the bed. Water the plants. Rinse off your own bowl and spoon. Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.

2. Start filtering out the noise in your life.

Be careful about who you give the microphone and stage to in your life. Don’t just listen to the loudest voice every day. Listen to the (more…)

5 Thoughts 90 Percent of Us Struggle With Almost Every Single Day

Your thoughts can carry you forward. But weak thoughts don’t have the strength to carry you far.

Attaching to the wrong thoughts and acting on them is one of the most common barriers to living a relatively happy and productive life. If you allow these thoughts to dwell for too long, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and your overall effectiveness on a daily basis. You will simply think yourself into endless disappointment and frustration. And make no misunderstanding about it, when you are continuously feeling frustrated on an average day, the battle you are going through isn’t fueled directly by the words or actions of others, and it isn’t fueled directly by what did or didn’t happen in the past either. It’s fueled primarily by (more…)

10 Daily Habits that Often Waste 90 Percent of Our Time and Potential in Life

Patience is not about waiting, it’s the ability to maintain a positive outlook while working hard for what you believe in.

Have you ever told yourself that you’re going to make something happen and then nothing happened? All details aside, it’s because you didn’t have the right habits in place — the little things you do every day that build up to something bigger. Your habits truly make or break you. Because in all walks of life you become what you habitually do. You will never make progress or change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is always found in your daily habits and routines.

In other words, regardless of your unique life situation or how you personally define success, you can’t become an overnight success. You become successful over time from all the little things you do one day at a time.

Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t (more…)

3 Tiny Morning Rituals that Will Change Your Life

A good morning, and thus a good day, aren’t just experiences that magically happen — they are created consciously.

Most of us are distracted from the get-go every morning. Trivial activities like checking social media, watching TV, and worrying about things we can’t control often set the tone of the day. And that means we waste our most well-rested time on things that don’t matter, while gradually losing touch with the significant, controllable parts of our lives that actually do matter.

We simply forget that the morning hours are enormously important — they form the foundation from which the day is built. We forget that how we choose to spend these hours can be used to predict the kind of days we’re going to have, and ultimately the kind of lives we’re going to live. So if you feel like you’ve been getting a rough start lately, and stumbling through your days with diminished intention and focus, it’s time to consider (more…)

52 Good Morning Quotes to Bring You Daily Clarity

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.

When you first awake, be mindful and take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and relatively healthy. Breathe onto the bathroom mirror just to see how amazing your breath looks. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one. And when you start the day in a mindful state like this, it’s easier to focus more effectively on what matters most.

If you’d like to practice starting your mornings more mindfully in the weeks ahead, below you will find 52 good morning quotes. I choose one of these quotes every (more…)