Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 33

10 Wake-Up Calls for Days When You Lose Your Motivation (and You’re Unsure of Everything)

“Head up, heart open. To better days!”
— T.F. Hodge

Struggling to find your motivation? Feeling unsure or uneasy about the next steps?

There are just a few things you need to know right now.

This quick read is for YOU…

Once upon a time there was a woman in her mid-sixties who noticed that she had lived her entire life in the same small town. And although she had spent decades enthusiastically dreaming about traveling and seeing the world, she had never taken a single step to make this dream a reality.

Finally, she woke up on the morning of her 65th birthday and decided that now was the time! She sold all of her possessions except for some essential items she needed, packed these items into a backpack, and (more…)

10 Daily Habits that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our Joy (Week After Week)

You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your joy, week after week, if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on (more…)

7 Calming Quotes for Times When We Take Things Too Personally

You can’t calm the storm. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will gradually pass. So do your best to breathe when negativity surrounds you. Let calmness be your superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things too personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace, which ultimately gives you the upper hand.

Also, remind yourself that people are hard to be around when they believe everything happening around them is a direct assault on them, or is in some way all about them. Don’t fall into this trap. What people say and do is much more about (more…)

10 Sticky Notes We Should Read Every Morning for the Rest of the Month

Where you ultimately end up greatly depends on your daily attitude and response.

This morning one of our clients, Monica — a sufferer of a fairly recent and debilitating car accident — was smiling from ear to ear the minute our FaceTime coaching session began. “What has you in such good spirits today?” I asked her. “I’m thinking better about things today — about how lucky I am to be alive,” she replied. “I thought the injuries I sustained in that accident earlier this year signified the end of life as I know it, but now I realize they signify the beginning.”

All details aside, Monica decided to begin again, in her mind first and then in her life. It’s taken her several months of healing and practice, but she has gradually let go of the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” attachments in her head about her circumstances. And she has stepped forward with grace, determination, and a healthy mindset.

Let’s follow Monica’s lead and practice thinking better starting today, so we can begin to build momentum as we move forward through the rest of May, and beyond… (more…)

18 Things We All Wish Someone Told Us When We Were 18

This morning I was reading a book outside my favorite beachside coffee shop when an 18-year-old kid sat down next to me and said, “That’s a great read, ain’t it?” So we started chatting.

He told me he was getting ready to graduate from high school next week and then immediately starting his college career in the fall. “But I have no clue what I want to do with my life,” he said. “Right now I’m just going with the flow.”

And then, with eager eyes, he began asking me one question after the next:

“What do you do for a living?”“When and how did you decide what you wanted to do?”“Why did you do this? Why didn’t you do that?”“Is there anything you wish you had done differently?”Etc.

I answered his questions as best as I could, and tried to give decent advice with the time I had. And after a half-hour conversation, he thanked me and we parted ways.

But on the walk home I realized the conversation I had with that 18-year-old was actually quite nostalgic. He reminded me (more…)

11 Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits We Should Bring Back Today

Love is great when spoken, but greatest when shown. Do little things daily to show your loved ones you care.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on a park bench in the early afternoon when an elderly couple pulled their car up under a nearby oak tree. They rolled down the windows and turned up some jazz music on the car stereo. Then the man got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, opened the door for the woman, took her hand and guided her about ten feet away from the car, and they slow danced to a song under the oak tree. It was such a beautiful moment to witness.

This morning when I opened my laptop to write, the elderly couple immediately came to mind. I spent a few minutes daydreaming about them, wondering how long they had been together and what their best relationship advice would be. And just as I caught my mind wandering even further off, a new email from a reader named Cory popped up in my inbox. The first line of the email was a question: “Any good old-fashioned advice for strengthening our relationships?”

The synchronicity of my daydreaming and Cory’s question made me smile. So in honor of that beautiful elderly couple, and in service of Cory’s relationship inquiry, here are some old-fashioned habits we can practice bringing back into our relationships, gradually starting today: (more…)

20 Essential Things to Start Doing for Your Own Happiness

Patience isn’t about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.

As you move through the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself that it takes roughly 66 days to form a habit on average. So for the next nine and a half weeks, consciously leverage the actionable reminders below to look at the brighter side of your life, and you will gradually rewire your brain.

1. Start steadying yourself with simple rituals.

When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Make the bed. Water the plants. Rinse off your own bowl and spoon. Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.

2. Start filtering out the noise in your life.

Be careful about who you give the microphone and stage to in your life. Don’t just listen to the loudest voice every day. Listen to the (more…)

10 Life Choices Too Many of Us Will Regret in 10 Years

In the end, more than anything else, we regret the little things we wish we’d done differently.

“If only…” Those two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

Here are ten life choices that ultimately lead to that phrase of regret, and how to elude them on the average day:

1. Wearing a mask to impress others.

If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on (more…)

6 Secret Habits of Highly Optimistic People: The Hidden Practices They Live By

It takes roughly 66 days to form a habit. So for 9 weeks look at the bright side of your life, and you will rewire your brain.

If the grass looks greener on the other side…

Stop staring.

Stop comparing.

Stop complaining.

And START watering the grass you’re standing on…

Truly, the most powerful weapon against stress on the average day is our ability to choose one thought or response over another. I was reminded of this today when a reader named Sarah sent me the following in an email (I’m sharing this with permission): (more…)

20 Calming Affirmations We Should All Tell Ourselves More Often

Let’s cut to the chase today. What you ultimately do comes out of who you believe you are. You have to practice believing in yourself and ignoring the naysayers. Because while you may not be able to control the impolite and unfair things some people say and do, you can press forward and decide not to be endlessly derailed by them.

Of course I know that’s much easier said than done, but you must remind yourself that it can be done!

How?

Start by leveraging the right daily affirmations. After all, it’s not what others say about you, and it’s not what you broadcast to everyone else that determines the trajectory of your life. It’s what you whisper to yourself behind (more…)