Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 37

10 Wake-Up Calls People Often Receive a Little Too Late

There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short not to focus more on what matters most.

Before you know it you will be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?” Perhaps you can already relate. So take time to reflect. Take time to realize what you want and need in the days and weeks ahead. Take time to take calculated risks. Take time to love, laugh, cry, learn, and forgive. Life is so much shorter than it often seems.

In our line of work we speak with people on a weekly basis who have been forced to ‘wake up’ to life’s fleeting nature. Consider these two excerpts from people’s stories that we recently received in our email (more…)

7 Daily Expectations that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our Peace and Joy

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
— Bruce Lee

The biggest and most draining disappointments in our daily lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. So don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being utterly disappointed and drained by them.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Stop expecting everyone to agree with you.

You deserve to find joy in your own way. You deserve to (more…)

40 Quotes for Letting Go and Coping With the Things You Can’t Control

The goal each and every day is to gradually grow stronger on the inside, so that less and less on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission.

Truth be told, how you cope with unexpected problems and frustrations can easily be the difference between living a good life and living an unhealthy one. If you choose unhealthy coping mechanisms like avoidance or denial, for example, you can quickly turn a tough situation into a tragic one. And sadly, this is a common mistake many people make.

When you find yourself facing a disheartening reality, your first reaction might be (more…)

10 Life Choices We Will All Regret in 10 Years if We Aren’t Careful

“If only…” Those two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

In the end, more than anything else, we regret the small chances we didn’t take, the priceless opportunities we were too busy to nurture, and the good decisions we waited too long to make. Angel and I have learned this over the past 15 years from the countless hours we’ve spent coaching hundreds of clients, students, and live event attendees from around the world. The exact same regrets pop up in the personal stories people share with us, time after time.

Here are ten incredibly common and specific life choices that ultimately lead to that “If only…” phrase of regret, and how to elude them on the average day:

1. Letting others tell us what we are worth.

We tend to forget that most people judge us based on (more…)

6 Good Reasons to Stop Proving Yourself to Everyone Else

You won’t find your worth entirely in someone else — you’ll find it in yourself, and then you will attract those who are worthy of your energy.

Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, lasting happiness, and inner peace.

There’s no need to put on an act every day. There’s no need to pretend to be someone you’re not. You have nothing to continuously prove. And if you catch yourself doing so, remind yourself…

1. It’s important to honor your own feelings and boundaries.

When you run into someone who discredits you, disrespects you, or treats you poorly for no apparent reason at all, don’t (more…)

10 Things We Often Wait Too Long to Do for Ourselves in Life

Opportunities are like sunrises — if we wait too long, we miss them.

Too often we waste our time waiting for the ideal path to appear. But it never does of course. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. Let this be your wake-up call today!

If we always sit around until we feel 100 percent ready for the journey, we will likely be sitting around for the rest of our lives. Most of the time we just have to get up and go for it. And no, we shouldn’t feel any more confident before we take the next step. Taking the next step is what gradually builds our confidence. Now is the time!

Yes, it’s finally time to admit that… (more…)

3 Fundamental Lessons Most People Learn Too Late in Life

“In elementary school my parents told me it didn’t matter what I did when I grew up, so long as it made me happy. ‘Happiness is the whole point of life,’ my father said. ‘But it doesn’t always come easy. Your mother loves to help people in need, so she became a psychiatric nurse. I love reading, writing and poetry, so I became an English teacher. We both find happiness in the hard work we do each day.’

A few years later when I was in junior high, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher put me in detention for ‘being difficult.’ She went around the classroom and asked each student what they wanted to be when they grew up. When she got to me, I told her I wanted to be happy. She told me I was missing the whole point of the question. I told her she was missing the whole point of life.”

That’s an old parable my grandmother recited to me countless times when (more…)

10 Good Reasons to Let Go of Things Sooner Rather than Later

The most powerful changes happen when we decide to take control of what we do have power over, instead of craving control over what we do not.

Holding on is hard. Holding on contributes to stress, unhappiness, relationship problems, and so much more. Yet, as human beings, we cling desperately to almost everything…

We don’t like change, so we hold on tight to the past.We want life to be the way we think it “should” be.We get attached to our ideals even when they hurt us.

Over the past 15 years, as Marc and I have gradually worked with hundreds of coaching clients and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the root cause of most human stress is (more…)

20 Things My 90-Year-Old Grandma Told Me to Stop Worrying About So Often

Worry gives small things a big shadow.

Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. Don’t be one of them. Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been. The secret to happiness and peace on the average day is letting each moment be what it is, instead of what you think it should be, and then making the very best of it — less worry and more presence every step of the way.

So go ahead and sing out loud in the car with the windows down, and dance in your (more…)

12 Sticky Notes We Should Read Every Morning this Summer

It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.

The best lessons we learn in life are the lessons we learn over and over again. The human mind needs lots of reminders — lots of practice — to operate effectively. For example, deep down we know it’s OK to…

Say “no”Speak upTell the truthBelieve differentlyChange our mindPrioritize our needsLearn from our mistakesEmbrace our imperfectionsForgive and seek forgivenessBegin again, with grace and gratitude

Yet, we often (more…)