Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 39

7 Calming Quotes for Times When We Take Things Too Personally

You can’t calm the storm. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will gradually pass. So do your best to breathe when negativity surrounds you. Let calmness be your superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things too personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace, which ultimately gives you the upper hand.

Also, remind yourself that people are hard to be around when they believe everything happening around them is a direct assault on them, or is in some way all about them. Don’t fall into this trap. What people say and do is much more about (more…)

10 Sticky Notes We Should Read Every Morning for the Rest of the Month

Where you ultimately end up greatly depends on your daily attitude and response.

This morning one of our clients, Monica — a sufferer of a fairly recent and debilitating car accident — was smiling from ear to ear the minute our FaceTime coaching session began. “What has you in such good spirits today?” I asked her. “I’m thinking better about things today — about how lucky I am to be alive,” she replied. “I thought the injuries I sustained in that accident earlier this year signified the end of life as I know it, but now I realize they signify the beginning.”

All details aside, Monica decided to begin again, in her mind first and then in her life. It’s taken her several months of healing and practice, but she has gradually let go of the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” attachments in her head about her circumstances. And she has stepped forward with grace, determination, and a healthy mindset.

Let’s follow Monica’s lead and practice thinking better starting today, so we can begin to build momentum as we move forward through the rest of May, and beyond… (more…)

18 Things We All Wish Someone Told Us When We Were 18

This morning I was reading a book outside my favorite beachside coffee shop when an 18-year-old kid sat down next to me and said, “That’s a great read, ain’t it?” So we started chatting.

He told me he was getting ready to graduate from high school next week and then immediately starting his college career in the fall. “But I have no clue what I want to do with my life,” he said. “Right now I’m just going with the flow.”

And then, with eager eyes, he began asking me one question after the next:

“What do you do for a living?”“When and how did you decide what you wanted to do?”“Why did you do this? Why didn’t you do that?”“Is there anything you wish you had done differently?”Etc.

I answered his questions as best as I could, and tried to give decent advice with the time I had. And after a half-hour conversation, he thanked me and we parted ways.

But on the walk home I realized the conversation I had with that 18-year-old was actually quite nostalgic. He reminded me (more…)

11 Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits We Should Bring Back Today

Love is great when spoken, but greatest when shown. Do little things daily to show your loved ones you care.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on a park bench in the early afternoon when an elderly couple pulled their car up under a nearby oak tree. They rolled down the windows and turned up some jazz music on the car stereo. Then the man got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, opened the door for the woman, took her hand and guided her about ten feet away from the car, and they slow danced to a song under the oak tree. It was such a beautiful moment to witness.

This morning when I opened my laptop to write, the elderly couple immediately came to mind. I spent a few minutes daydreaming about them, wondering how long they had been together and what their best relationship advice would be. And just as I caught my mind wandering even further off, a new email from a reader named Cory popped up in my inbox. The first line of the email was a question: “Any good old-fashioned advice for strengthening our relationships?”

The synchronicity of my daydreaming and Cory’s question made me smile. So in honor of that beautiful elderly couple, and in service of Cory’s relationship inquiry, here are some old-fashioned habits we can practice bringing back into our relationships, gradually starting today: (more…)

20 Essential Things to Start Doing for Your Own Happiness

Patience isn’t about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.

As you move through the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself that it takes roughly 66 days to form a habit on average. So for the next nine and a half weeks, consciously leverage the actionable reminders below to look at the brighter side of your life, and you will gradually rewire your brain.

1. Start steadying yourself with simple rituals.

When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Make the bed. Water the plants. Rinse off your own bowl and spoon. Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.

2. Start filtering out the noise in your life.

Be careful about who you give the microphone and stage to in your life. Don’t just listen to the loudest voice every day. Listen to the (more…)

10 Life Choices Too Many of Us Will Regret in 10 Years

In the end, more than anything else, we regret the little things we wish we’d done differently.

“If only…” Those two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

Here are ten life choices that ultimately lead to that phrase of regret, and how to elude them on the average day:

1. Wearing a mask to impress others.

If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on (more…)

6 Secret Habits of Highly Optimistic People: The Hidden Practices They Live By

It takes roughly 66 days to form a habit. So for 9 weeks look at the bright side of your life, and you will rewire your brain.

If the grass looks greener on the other side…

Stop staring.

Stop comparing.

Stop complaining.

And START watering the grass you’re standing on…

Truly, the most powerful weapon against stress on the average day is our ability to choose one thought or response over another. I was reminded of this today when a reader named Sarah sent me the following in an email (I’m sharing this with permission): (more…)

20 Calming Affirmations We Should All Tell Ourselves More Often

Let’s cut to the chase today. What you ultimately do comes out of who you believe you are. You have to practice believing in yourself and ignoring the naysayers. Because while you may not be able to control the impolite and unfair things some people say and do, you can press forward and decide not to be endlessly derailed by them.

Of course I know that’s much easier said than done, but you must remind yourself that it can be done!

How?

Start by leveraging the right daily affirmations. After all, it’s not what others say about you, and it’s not what you broadcast to everyone else that determines the trajectory of your life. It’s what you whisper to yourself behind (more…)

10 Daily Habits that Often Waste 90 Percent of Our Time and Potential

Patience is not about waiting, it’s the ability to maintain a positive outlook while working hard for what you believe in.

Have you ever told yourself that you’re going to make something happen and then nothing happened? All details aside, it’s because you didn’t have the right habits in place — the little things you do every day that build up to something bigger. Your habits truly make or break you. Because in all walks of life you become what you habitually do. You will never make progress or change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is always found in your daily habits and routines.

In other words, regardless of your unique life situation or how you personally define success, you can’t become an overnight success. You become successful over time from all the little things you do one day at a time.

Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t (more…)

5 Thoughts 90 Percent of Us Struggle With Almost Every Day

Your thoughts can carry you forward. But weak thoughts don’t have the strength to carry you far.

Attaching to the wrong thoughts and acting on them is one of the most common barriers to living a relatively happy and productive life. If you allow these thoughts to dwell for too long, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and your overall effectiveness on a daily basis. You will simply think yourself into endless disappointment and frustration. And make no misunderstanding about it, when you are continuously feeling frustrated on an average day, the battle you are going through isn’t fueled directly by the words or actions of others, and it isn’t fueled directly by what did or didn’t happen in the past either. It’s fueled primarily by (more…)