Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 26

3 Daily Habits that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our True Potential in Life (Week After Week)

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

As you age you will learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more. Little else will matter.

Deep down you know that already, right?

Yet on most days, just like the majority of us, you get distracted by so many others things. You give your time to lots of meaningless time-wasters. You take your important relationships for granted. You get to work skeptically with inner resistance. And you let everyday stress get the best of you…

Why?

Because you’re human, and human beings are (more…)

10 Life Choices We Will All Regret in 10 Years (if We Aren’t Careful)

“If only…” Those two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

In the end, more than anything else, we regret the small chances we didn’t take, the priceless opportunities we were too busy to nurture, and the good decisions we waited too long to make. Angel and I have learned this over the past 15 years from the countless hours we’ve spent coaching hundreds of clients, students, and live event attendees from around the world. The exact same regrets pop up in the personal stories people share with us, time after time.

Here are ten very common and specific life choices that ultimately lead to that “If only…” phrase of regret, and how to elude them on the average day:

1. Letting others tell us what we are worth.

We tend to forget that most people judge us based on (more…)

12 Sticky Notes We Need to Read Every Morning for the Rest of the Year

It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power and influence.

The best lessons we learn in life are the lessons we learn over and over again. The human mind needs lots of reminders — lots of practice — to operate effectively. For example, deep down we know it’s OK to…

Say “no”Speak upTell the truthBelieve differentlyChange our mindPrioritize our needsLearn from our mistakesEmbrace our imperfectionsForgive and seek forgivenessBegin again, stronger than before

Yet, we often do (more…)

6 Tiny Daily Rituals that Can Easily Change the Rest of Your Life

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
– Annie Dillard

Are you willing to spend a little time every day like most people won’t, so you can spend the better part of your life like most people can’t?

Think about that question for a moment. Let it sink in. You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing — growing happens only when what you know changes how you live on a daily basis (most people miss the second part).

And isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different? That’s the power of daily rituals.

Now it’s time think about your rituals — the little things you do every day.

Because these little things define you.

All the results in your life come from (more…)

40 Quotes for Calming Your Mind When You Are at a Crossroads in Life

It happens to all of us gradually as we live and grow. We discover more about who we are and the way life is, and then we realize there are some changes we need to make. The lifestyle we’ve been living no longer fits. The environments and relationships we once found comfort in no longer exist, or no longer serve our best interests. So we cherish all the great memories, but find ourselves at a crossroads in life, moving forward.

And it’s not easy. It’s painful to give up what’s comfortable and familiar, especially when there’s no other choice. Marc and I have struggled through this process many times out of necessity. Over the past 15 years we’ve had to deal with several significant, unexpected life changes and challenges, including: (more…)

10 Daily Habits that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our Joy and Inner Peace

You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your joy and inner peace, if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on (more…)

8 Things You Will Regret Not Letting Go of Sooner in Your Life

Oftentimes you don’t even realize you’re blocking your own present blessings by holding on to everything so tightly.

It’s always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end. Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. It doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those former parts of your life that are over, and those little ideals in your mind that simply aren’t meant to be.

Throughout the past decade, as Marc and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the most common cause of human frustration on the average day is our stubborn propensity to hold on to things long after it’s time to let go. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will go exactly as we imagine, and then we complicate our lives to no end when they don’t.

So let’s take a look at some common things we often regret holding on to until the bitter end… (more…)

10 Hard Things that Are Always Worth Doing for Yourself Before it’s Too Late

Even when the struggle is real, remind yourself that it feels better to be exhausted from taking small steps forward, than it does to be tired of doing nothing.

In 1911 two explorers, Amundsen and Scott, embarked on a race against each other to become the first known human being to set foot upon the southernmost point of Earth. It was the age of Antarctic exploration, as the South Pole represented one of the last uncharted areas in the world. Amundsen wished to plant the Norwegian flag there on behalf of his country, while Scott hoped to stake his claim for England.

The journey there and back from their base camps was about 1,400 miles, which is roughly equivalent to a round-trip hike from New York City to Chicago. Both men would be traveling the same exact distance on foot through extremely cold and harsh weather conditions. And both men were equally equipped with experience, supplies, and a supporting team of fellow explorers. But what wasn’t certain is how each of them would approach the inevitable challenges they faced on the road ahead.

As it turned out, Amundsen and Scott took entirely different approaches to the very same challenges.

Scott directed his team to hike as far as possible on the good weather days and then rest on bad weather days to conserve energy. Conversely, Amundsen directed his team to follow a strict regimen of consistent daily progress by hiking exactly 20 miles every day, regardless of weather conditions. Even on the warmest, clear-sky days, when Amundsen’s team was capable of hiking much farther, Amundsen was absolutely adamant that they travel no more than 20 miles to conserve their energy for the following day’s hike.

Which team succeeded in the end?

The team that (more…)

11 Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits We Should Start Bringing Back

Love is great when spoken, but greatest when shown. Do little things daily to show your loved ones you care.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on a park bench in the early afternoon when an elderly couple pulled their car up under a nearby oak tree. They rolled down the windows and turned up some jazz music on the car stereo. Then the man got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, opened the door for the woman, took her hand and guided her about ten feet away from the car, and they slow danced to a song under the oak tree. It was such a beautiful moment to witness.

This morning when I opened my laptop to write, the elderly couple immediately came to mind. I spent a few minutes daydreaming about them, wondering how long they had been together and what their best relationship advice would be. And just as I caught my mind wandering even further off, a new email from a reader named Cory popped up in my inbox. The first line of the email was a question: “Any good old-fashioned advice for strengthening our relationships?”

The synchronicity of my daydreaming and Cory’s question made me smile. So in honor of that beautiful elderly couple, and in service of Cory’s relationship inquiry, here are some old-fashioned habits we can practice bringing back into our relationships: (more…)

9 Daily Behaviors that Create 90 Percent of Our Relationship Problems

Our behavior is a small thing that makes a big difference in our relationships.

This morning I saw a middle-aged woman ferociously slam the car door in her husband’s face and storm off into a department store.  Then an hour later I couldn’t help but notice two 20-something friends sitting next to me at a local coffee shop, the man staring down at his smart phone the entire time his friend shared with him her concerns about certain family matters.  And just now I came across someone’s rant on social media about their significant other that concluded with, “ALL MEN are exactly the same!”

Most of us have likely done something similar in our relationships at some point, because relationships aren’t easy, and sometimes we make missteps.  In fact, let’s be honest, we’ve all (more…)