Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 22

12 “Sticky Notes” We Need to Read Every Morning for the Rest of the Year

It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power and influence.

The best lessons we learn in life are the lessons we learn over and over again. The human mind needs lots of reminders — lots of practice — to operate effectively. For example, deep down we know it’s OK to…

Say “no”Speak upTell the truthBelieve differentlyChange our mindPrioritize our needsLearn from our mistakesEmbrace our imperfectionsForgive and seek forgivenessBegin again, stronger than before

Yet, we often do (more…)

20 Things We All Need to Stop Wasting Our Time and Joy On

The most important decision you will ever make is what to do with the time that’s given to you.

I recently received a thank you email from a reader named Hope. She said our work helped motivate her through an arduous recovery process following a serious car accident this past year. Although her entire story is both heartbreaking and inspiring, this one line made me pause and think:

“The happiest moment of my life is still that split-second a year ago when, as I laid crushed under a 2000 pound car, I realized my husband and 9-year-old boy were out of the vehicle and absolutely OK.”

Dire moments like this force us to acknowledge what’s truly important to us. In Hope’s case it was her husband and son. And in the remainder of her email she talks about how (more…)

3 Daily Habits that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our True Potential (Year After Year)

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

As you age you will learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more. Little else will matter.

Deep down you know that already, right?

Yet on most days, just like the majority of us, you get distracted by so many others things. You give your time to lots of meaningless time-wasters. You take your important relationships for granted. You get to work skeptically with inner resistance. And you let everyday stress get the best of you…

Why?

Because you’re human, and human beings are (more…)

1 Important Step We Often Take Too Late in Life

Too often people overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making good decisions and small steps of progress on a daily basis.

You’re probably familiar with what’s known as the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There’s an important lesson here — one that’s very often glossed over…

When a chaotic reality is swirling around us, we often try to relieve our anxiety by exerting our will over external things we cannot control.

It helps us stave off one of the most dreaded feelings: complete powerlessness.

With that in mind, I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is (more…)

10 Daily Habits that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our Inner Peace and Joy

You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your daily habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your inner peace and joy, if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how (more…)

40 Quotes for Calming Your Mind When You’re at a Crossroads in Life

It happens to all of us gradually as we live and grow. We discover more about who we are and the way life is, and then we realize there are some changes we need to make. The lifestyle we’ve been living no longer fits. The environments and relationships we once found comfort in no longer exist, or no longer serve our best interests. So we cherish all the great memories, but find ourselves at a crossroads in life, moving forward.

And it’s not easy. It’s painful to give up what’s comfortable and familiar, especially when there’s no other choice. Marc and I have struggled through this process many times out of necessity. Over the past 15 years we’ve had to deal with several significant, unexpected life changes and challenges, including: (more…)

7 Quotes that Will Stop You from Taking Things Personally

You can’t calm the storm. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will gradually pass. So do your best to breathe when negativity surrounds you today. Let calmness be your superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things too personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace, which ultimately gives you the upper hand.

Also, remind yourself that people are hard to be around when they believe everything happening around them is a direct assault on them, or is in some way all about them. Don’t fall into this trap. What people say and do is much more about (more…)

10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart Today

The worst kind of heartache is the kind you inflict on yourself.

If you don’t want to break your own heart today, then don’t…

1. Let people invalidate or minimize how you feel.

If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you. Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever. No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes. No one else has lived through your exact experiences. And so, no one else has the right to dictate or unfairly judge how you feel. Your feelings are important. Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.

2. Regret every mistake you’ve ever made.

If you regret some of the decisions you’ve made in the past, (more…)

8 Things You’ll Regret Not Letting Go of Sooner in Life

Oftentimes you don’t even realize you’re blocking your own present blessings by holding on to everything so tightly.

It’s always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end. Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. It doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those former parts of your life that are over, and those little ideals in your mind that simply aren’t meant to be.

Throughout the past decade, as Angel and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the most common cause of human frustration on an average day is our stubborn propensity to hold on to things long after it’s time to let go. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will go exactly as we imagine, and then we complicate our lives to no end when they don’t.

So let’s take a look at some common things we often regret holding on to until the bitter end… (more…)

14 Good Morning Quotes that Will Calm Your Restless Mind

The morning is enormously important. It’s the foundation from which the day is built. How you choose to spend your morning can be used to predict what kind of day you’re going to have.

When people who seem stressed and overwhelmed come to us and ask, “What should I do next?” we often start with the same simple suggestion:

It’s time to “ … ”

That blank space denoted by “ … ” is no mistake. That space represents silence.

Silence is soothing. Silence is peace. Silence is divine.

The more silent you are, the more you can hear yourself think, and the more you can help yourself heal. Somewhere deep inside, you already know this is true. Think for a moment…

Have you ever heard the silence just before the sun peaks over the horizon? Or the hush of a country road at sunset? Or the peaceful calm just after (more…)