Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 21

10 Life Choices We Will All Regret a Year from Now (if We Aren’t Careful)

“If only…” Those two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

In the end, more than anything else, we regret the small chances we didn’t take, the priceless opportunities we were too busy to nurture, and the good decisions we waited too long to make. Angel and I have learned this over the past 15 years from the countless hours we’ve spent coaching hundreds of clients, students, and live event attendees from around the world. The exact same regrets pop up in the personal stories people share with us, time after time.

Here are ten very common and specific life choices that ultimately lead to that “If only…” phrase of regret, and how to elude them in the year ahead:

1. Letting others tell us what we are worth.

We tend to forget that most people judge us (more…)

Try Again: 3 Ways to Restore the Faith You Once Had in Yourself

When I was a high school freshman, a 260-pound freshman girl showed up for track and field tryouts right alongside me. Her name was Sara, and she was only there because her doctor said her health depended on it. But once she scanned the crowd of students who were on the field, she turned around and began walking away. Coach O’Leary saw her, jogged over, and turned her back around.

“I’m not thin enough for this sport!” Sara declared. “And I’ll never be! It’s impossible for me to lose enough weight. I’ve tried.”

Coach O’Leary nodded and promised Sara that her body type wasn’t suited for her current weight. “It’s suited for 220 pounds,” he said.

Sara looked confused. “Most people tell me I need to lose 130 pounds,” she replied. “But you think I only need to lose 40?”

Coach O’Leary (more…)

4 Hard Lessons We Learn by Letting Go in Life

If somebody is working on themselves and changing for the better, it’s unnecessary to keep bringing up their past. People can change and grow. You know that’s true. But have you given yourself a fair chance to change and grow, too?

Have you loosened your grip on what’s behind you, so you can step forward again?

If you’re shaking your head, you aren’t alone. At times we all fall victim to our attachments. We simply don’t realize how often we block our own present blessings by holding on to everything so tightly.

Thus, it’s time for a quick true story about life and letting go…

When Our Old Stories Hold Us Back

She rarely makes eye contact. Instead, she looks down at the ground. Because the ground is safer. Because unlike people, it (more…)

3 Daily Habits that Keep Holding 90 Percent of Us Back (Year After Year)

If it keeps you busy but will hold you back someday, it’s a distraction.

There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short not to focus more on what matters most. And life is definitely too short for habits and routines that keep you stuck in a cycle of feeling like you’re a day late and a dollar short. So today, let’s discuss three incredibly common patterns of behavior that keep the majority of us (myself included for several years) stuck in that cycle, year after year.

1. We keep trying to overcome the odds in an unsupportive environment.

No matter how strong you are, and no matter how much determination and willpower you have, if you keep yourself positioned in an environment that works against your best intentions, you will eventually succumb to that environment.

This is where so many of us (more…)

20 Things My Now 81-Year-Old Dad Was Right About the Whole Time

“One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming.”
— MHN

Twenty-nine years ago, when I was a freshman in high school, my English teacher gave my class a homework assignment entitled, “Advice for a Younger Generation.” The concept of the assignment was simple: Each student had to interview a person who was over the age of 25, gather enough information to write a basic biography of their life, and find out what their top tips are for a younger generation. I chose to interview my dad. He was (more…)

10 Things We All Wait Too Long to Let Go of in Life

We don’t even realize how often we block our own present blessings by holding on so tightly.

Letting go is not giving up. Letting go is surrendering any needless attachments to particular outcomes and situations. Surrender means showing up in your life with the intention to be your best, and to do the best you know how, without expecting life to be ideal. Have goals, have dreams, take purposeful action, and build solid relationships, but detach from what life must look like every step of the way.

The energy of someone aspiring to create something wonderful this year, teamed with a healthy balance of surrender, is far more effective than someone determined to create outcomes with a desperate must-have mentality. Surrender brings inner calmness, awareness, and understanding. And lest we forget that our outer lives are a reflection of our inner state of being.

Thus, take a moment to remind yourself of some things most of us typically attach to long after it’s time to let go, so you can loosen your grip on them as you move forward through the rest of the year, and beyond… (more…)

8 Wake-up Calls We All Need to Receive in Life Before it’s Too Late

You have come a long way, and you’re still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons. Take them and make the best of things today.

For my 18th birthday, many moons ago, my grandfather on my mom’s side gave me four lightly-used flannel shirts that he no longer needed. The shirts were barely worn and in great shape; my grandfather said he thought they would look great on me. Unfortunately, I thought they were odd gifts at the time and I wasn’t thankful. I looked at him skeptically, gave him a crooked half-smile, and moved on to the other gifts sitting in front of me. My grandfather died two days later from a sudden heart attack. The flannel shirts were the last gifts he ever gave me, and that crooked half-smile was the last time I directly acknowledged him. Today, I still regret the little thing I didn’t say when I had the chance: “Thank you Grandpa. I appreciate you.”

That was a huge wake-up call for me — one that has served me well for over two decades now.

And here are eight wake-up calls for all of us to reflect on today — some important lessons worth learning and living by, before it’s too late: (more…)

9 Simple Rules for Turning Endings into New Beginnings

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past and guide you forward to a positive new beginning. These words are: “From now on…”

So, from now on… (more…)

10 Hard Things that Are Always Worth Doing for Yourself in the Long Run

Even when the struggle is real, remind yourself that it feels better to be exhausted from taking small steps forward, than it does to be tired of doing nothing.

In 1911 two explorers, Amundsen and Scott, embarked on a race against each other to become the first known human being to set foot upon the southernmost point of Earth. It was the age of Antarctic exploration, as the South Pole represented one of the last uncharted areas in the world. Amundsen wished to plant the Norwegian flag there on behalf of his country, while Scott hoped to stake his claim for England.

The journey there and back from their base camps was about 1,400 miles, which is roughly equivalent to a round-trip hike from New York City to Chicago. Both men would be traveling the same exact distance on foot through extremely cold and harsh weather conditions. And both men were equally equipped with experience, supplies, and a supporting team of fellow explorers. But what wasn’t certain is how each of them would approach the inevitable challenges they faced on the road ahead.

As it turned out, Amundsen and Scott took entirely different approaches to the very same challenges.

Scott directed his team to hike as far as possible on the good weather days and then rest on bad weather days to conserve energy. Conversely, Amundsen directed his team to follow a strict regimen of consistent daily progress by hiking exactly 20 miles every day, regardless of weather conditions. Even on the warmest, clear-sky days, when Amundsen’s team was capable of hiking much farther, Amundsen was absolutely adamant that they travel no more than 20 miles to conserve their energy for the following day’s hike.

Which team succeeded in the end?

The team that (more…)

5 Reasons My 90-Year-Old Grandma Genuinely Smiled on Her Deathbed

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
— Mae West

Twenty years ago, I was lucky enough to witness the humble, elegant, peaceful passing of my 89-year-old grandfather. As I sat quietly in his hospice room alongside my grandma and other family members, his nurse smiled softly and said, “I can see he lived well. People his age often pass just the way they lived.”

And as I drove home that evening a couple questions kept cycling through my mind…

“Am I living well?”

“What do I want to be able to smile about on the inside when I’m on my deathbed?”

These questions are tough, especially the second one. At the time, I desperately struggled to envision myself on my deathbed — just thinking about it stressed me out. So I simply avoided the question and the soul searching it demanded of me. I distracted myself for a few more years until I found myself back in a hospice room with my 90-year-old grandma (who was the most amazing human being I’ve ever met, by the way).

On the final day of her life, (more…)