Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 18

10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart Today (Without Even Trying)

The worst kind of heartache is often the kind you inflict on to yourself.

If you don’t want to break your own heart today, then don’t…

1. Let people invalidate or minimize how you feel.

If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you. Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever. No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes. No one else has lived through your exact experiences. And so, no one else has the right to dictate or unfairly judge how you feel. Your feelings are important. Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.

2. Regret every mistake you’ve ever made.

If you regret some of the decisions you’ve made in the past, (more…)

10 Daily Habits that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our Joy and Peace (Week After Week)

You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your daily habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are some fairly common and widespread examples of the latter that will drain all your joy and inner peace, week after week, if you let them:

1. Focusing on how life “should” be every step of the way.

Try to use frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life. Instead of getting angry, find the lesson. In place of envy, feel admiration. In place of worry, take action. In place of doubt, have faith. Remember that your response is always more powerful than your present circumstance. A small part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses. Where you ultimately end up is heavily dependent on how (more…)

10 Painfully Obvious Truths About Life Everyone Forgets Too Soon

The truth does not disappear when it is forgotten or ignored.

You know how you can hear something a hundred times in a bunch of different ways before it finally gets through to you? The ten truths about life discussed here fall firmly into that category — timeless lessons most of us likely learned years ago, and have been reminded of since, but for whatever reason we haven’t fully grasped them yet.

This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…

1. The average human life is relatively short.

We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and (more…)

40 Quotes for Calming Your Mind When You’re Standing at a Crossroads in Life

It happens to all of us gradually as we live and grow. We discover more about who we are and the way life is, and then we realize there are some changes we need to make. The lifestyle we’ve been living no longer fits. The environments and relationships we once found comfort in no longer exist, or no longer serve our best interests. So we cherish all the great memories, but find ourselves at a crossroads in life, moving forward.

And it’s not easy. It’s painful to give up what’s comfortable and familiar, especially when there’s no other choice. Marc and I have struggled through this process many times out of necessity. Over the past 15 years we’ve had to deal with several significant, unexpected life changes and challenges, including: (more…)

6 Tiny Daily Rituals that Will Change the Rest of Your Life (if You Let Them)

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
– Annie Dillard

Are you willing to spend a little time every day like most people won’t, so you can spend the better part of your life like most people can’t?

Think about that question for a moment. Let it sink in. You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing — growing happens only when what you know changes how you live on a daily basis (most people miss the second part).

And isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different? That’s the power of daily rituals.

Now it’s time think about your rituals — the little things you do every day.

Because these little things define you.

All the results in your life come from (more…)

10 Hard Realities that Will Help You Grow (Once You Accept Them)

“The world is full of struggle. It is also full of overcoming.”

Character and wisdom are both sculpted over time. These qualities come with loss, lessons, and triumphs. They come after doubts, second guesses, and exploring unknowns. If there was a definitive path to personal growth, everyone would be on it. Truth be told, the seeds of your success are often planted in your past failures, and some of your best stories will likely come from overcoming your greatest struggles.

Marc and I learned all of that the hard way. Over the past fifteen years we have dealt with several significant hardships, including the sudden death of (more…)

4 Healthy Ways to Finally Start Letting Go

On the average day happiness is letting go of what you assume life is supposed to be like, and sincerely appreciating it for everything it is.

Over the past fifteen years, as Angel and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the root cause of most human stress is simply our stubborn propensity to hold on to things. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will (more…)

8 Things You Will Inevitably Regret Not Letting Go of Sooner in Life

Oftentimes you don’t even realize you’re blocking your own present blessings by holding on to everything so tightly.

It’s always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end. Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. It doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those former parts of your life that are over, and those little ideals in your mind that simply aren’t meant to be.

Throughout the past fifteen years, as Angel and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the most common cause of human frustration on an average day is our stubborn propensity to hold on to things long after it’s time to let go. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will go exactly as we imagine, and then we complicate our lives to no end when they don’t.

So let’s take a look at some common things we often regret holding on to for way too long… (more…)

20 Essential Things to Start Doing for Your Happiness and Peace of Mind Today

Patience isn’t about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.

As you move through the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself that it takes roughly 66 days to form a habit on average. So for the next nine and a half weeks, consciously leverage the actionable reminders below to look at the brighter side of your life, and you will gradually rewire your brain…

1. Start steadying yourself with simple rituals.

When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Make the bed. Water the plants. Rinse off your own bowl and spoon. Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.

2. Start filtering out the noise in your life.

Be careful about who you give (more…)

20 Little Things to Remember When Rejection Hurts You

Be OK with walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject what’s not right for you.

As you look back on your life, you will realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected by someone or something you wanted, you were in fact being redirected to someone or something you needed. Seeing this when you’re in the midst of feeling rejected, however, is quite tough. I know because I’ve been there…

As soon as someone critiques, criticizes, and pushes you away — as soon as you are rejected — you find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves (more…)