Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 20

7 Expectations that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our Joy and Peace in Life

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
— Bruce Lee

The biggest and most draining disappointments in our daily lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. So don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being utterly disappointed and drained by them.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Stop expecting everyone to agree with you.

You deserve to find joy and peace in your own way. You deserve to (more…)

10 Wake-Up Calls We Often Get a Little Too Late in Life

There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short not to focus more on what matters most.

Before you know it you will be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?” Perhaps you can already relate. So take time to reflect. Take time to realize what you want and need in the days and weeks ahead. Take time to take calculated risks. Take time to love, laugh, cry, learn, and forgive. Life is so much shorter than it often seems.

In our line of work we speak with people on a weekly basis who have been forced to ‘wake up’ to life’s fleeting nature. Consider these two small excerpts from people’s stories that we recently received in our email (more…)

3 Wake-Up Calls for Days When You’re Overwhelmed (and Unsure of What to Do Next)

“Do not ruin today with mourning tomorrow.”
— Catherynne M. Valente

Ever feel a little overwhelmed? Or really overwhelmed?

This quick read is for YOU…

Once upon a time there was a man who had been lost in the desert for three whole days without water. Just as he was about to collapse, he saw what appeared to be a lake a few hundred yards in front of him. “Could it be? Or is it just a mirage?” he thought to himself.

With the last bit of strength he could muster, he staggered toward the lake and quickly learned that his prayers had been answered: it was no mirage — it was (more…)

12 “Notes to Self” We Should All Memorize this Year

As we continue to look forward to what this year has in store, I know many of us are yearning for a simpler and selective range of life experiences — the happier days, the normal times, the settings and experiences that make us feel more comfortable. And yet, the full range of our reality often brings something very different. The days and weeks ahead will inevitably give us an extensive array of experiences that evoke feelings ranging from sadness to struggle to pride to growth to hope, and more.

So we have a choice starting today. We can revolt against reality — the reality of having to deal with discomfort, of having to cope with uncertainty, of having to feel upset sometimes. Or we can (more…)

5 Painfully Clear Truths We Always Forget Too Soon (Year After Year)

The truth does not cease to exist when it’s forgotten or ignored.

You know how you can hear or read something dozens of times in various ways before it finally sinks in? The truths listed below fall firmly into that category — timeless lessons that many of us probably learned a long time ago, and have been reminded of year after year, yet for whatever reason we tend to forget in the heat of the moment.

This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…

1. Life is relatively short and nothing is guaranteed.

We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to (more…)

40 Quotes for Letting Go and Coping With Things You Can’t Control this Year

The goal every day this year is to gradually grow stronger on the inside, so that less and less on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission.

Truth be told, how you cope with unexpected problems and frustrations can easily be the difference between living a good life and living an unhealthy one. If you choose unhealthy coping mechanisms like avoidance or denial, for example, you can quickly turn a tough situation into a tragic one. And sadly, this is a common mistake many people make.

When you find yourself facing a disheartening reality, your first reaction might be to (more…)

6 Good Reasons to Stop Proving Yourself to Everyone Else this Year

You won’t find your worth entirely in someone else — you’ll find it in yourself, and then you will attract those who are worthy of your energy.

Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try this year. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, lasting happiness, and inner peace.

There’s no need to put on an act every day. There’s no need to pretend to be someone you’re not. You have nothing to continuously prove. And if you catch yourself doing so, remind yourself…

1. It’s important to honor your own feelings and boundaries.

When you run into somebody who discredits you, disrespects you, or (more…)

3 Fundamental Lessons Too Many of Us Learn Too Late (Year After Year)

“In elementary school my parents told me it didn’t matter what I did when I grew up, so long as it made me happy. ‘Happiness is the whole point of life,’ my father said. ‘But it doesn’t always come easy. Your mother loves to help people in need, so she became a psychiatric nurse. I love reading, writing and poetry, so I became an English teacher. We both find happiness in the hard work we do each day.’

A few years later when I was in junior high, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher put me in detention for ‘being difficult.’ She went around the classroom and asked each student what they wanted to be when they grew up. When she got to me, I told her I wanted to be happy. She told me I was missing the whole point of the question. I told her she was missing the whole point of life.”

That’s an old parable my grandmother recited to me countless times when (more…)

10 Things We Always Wait Too Long to Do for Ourselves (Year After Year)

Opportunities are like sunrises, if we wait too long, we miss them.

Too often we waste our time waiting for the ideal path to appear. But it never does of course. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. Let this be your wake-up call today!

If we always sit around until we feel 100 percent ready for the journey, we will likely be sitting around for the rest of our lives. Most of the time we just have to get up and go for it. And no, we shouldn’t feel any more confident before we take the next step. Taking the next step is what gradually builds our confidence. This is the year! Now is the time!

Yes, it’s finally time to admit that… (more…)

7 Things You Should Insist on Doing for Yourself in the New Year

You can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Tiny, repeated efforts will get you there.

I have witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages — 48-year-olds starting families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and more. How did they all do it? In a nutshell, they started making gradual progress in their lives, step by step. And by doing so, they changed the trajectory of their their lives.

What you need to remember most right now is that it isn’t too early or too late to start making positive changes in your life. Your future is always affected by what you start doing today. Yet so many people wait around for some arbitrary date and time, like tomorrow, to take action. Don’t be one of them! Make yourself a priority in the New Year, starting now! It’s time to…

1. Insist on embracing your humanness.

“Human” is the only real label we are born with, yet we forget so easily. To become attached to a loaded label of (more…)