Raven Moore's Blog, page 10

If I was a …

If I was a prostitute

I would not charge

because

I get paid

in other ways

like

the spiritual toll

of you

loving someone

who does not love you back

you pay me

every time

you forget

to say my name

then you can’t remember

how to find me

when you need me

when you have no one

because you really loved no one

but

yourself

every time you

sell my body

my soul pours into

all men

and

you become

what you thought you made

me

worthless

you all become me

obsessed with my body

losing your self

and

if you were real rich really

you could keep me to yourself

you would not have to share

you would care

what happens

to your sister

your aunt

your daughter

your mother

you would see me

as someone

you know

in your family

and then you would cry

and then you would feel

and then your soul

would fill up with something

like love

like respect

like desire

you would miss me

you would talk to me

you would ask me

questions

all I need is questions’

answers

like

why do you need me

more than you need

yourself

no condom

that’s like

you just asked me

to kill you

just so you could pretend

you feel good for 5 minutes

you’re just telling me

that I have more to give

you

in 5 minutes

than you could ever give

yourself

in your short

lifetime

Going, Going, Gone

I am going

on vacation

I’m going on vacation

I’m

going

on

vacation

kiss my

airplane

The Lying and the Fool

The Lying and The Fool

The Lion and The Jewel

was the lying and the fool

the fool was a woman

who got lost in the woods

an abnormality understated

a woman who

wakes up early

in the morning

and stretches

shakes it all off

who wants more

and works for

it

never loses it

who expects more

and never

chooses

it

gets chosen

the right way

knows how to forage

and

cut trees down

low

doesn’t need to climb up high

and swing from pole to pole

not knowing where loyalties lie

not knowing where lions cry

not knowing where beauty dies

makes it

easy for you to get lost

or lose it

but

a good woman

thundering her own applause

who sharpens her claws

and smiles when challenges wax

and wanes insane

never gets lost

in the woods

in the hood

is never misunderstood

can explain

make it plain

reflects on disdain

and never accepts

it is

not obviously something she is

going to get

if

she tries…..

the east and the west

at best

cannot get her

the north and the south

closed mouth

cannot convince her

when rooted strong

in common sense

she goes hence

she never forgets

to learn

something new

every day

means she flies

Is It?

So, what I’d like to call it

Is not what it always is

Sometimes

it’s happy

he’s sad

it’s disappointed

she’s gone

I wish I could remember

everything

I’m driving with you

and I can barely see out

the window

you always want

a penny for my thoughts

you always care

what I’m going through

if I’m through

I’m not used to it

disappointment

I’m not familiar with

bouncing back

because I’m still bouncing

back

the first time

was when your hug missed the mark

you didn’t know I was always shining

in your embrace

always waiting for your touch

you healed me

with your unspoken thoughts

and glances

you pretended

you were not there

but you were always everywhere

I was

everywhere for you too

I was going to show you

I was going to give you

things

hugs could not have been enough

sometimes, it was too sad

sometimes, it was too hard

for me

I forgive you

and I forgive myself

but not really myself

Privacy

I’m thinking privacy

is my privates

like the things I cover

up

and

down

my body

my face

my toes

things unlike

the usual hoes

who sell me things

I can’t protect

I can’t project

how much

how many times

I have to call you

to ask you

for my money back

and forward we go

on the same old things

like

this is mine

and this is not yours

how many times I have to

ask you to stop

looking at my privates

and then you say privates

are things you pay for

things that work for you

I guess these things I bought were

never working for me

and now

I know it’s true

because you didn’t ask me

for permission to use my iphone

you just stole it

and called it to tell me

and called it to sell me

and called it to yell at me

saying “are you a terrorist?!”

and I said

no…..

…..this is not that government line

wrong number

Some Kind of Poet

I wish I was some kind of poet

who didn’t know it

Then, I could pretend to be lost

and not try

or even think

about trying

I could just pretend I was

giving it all up to God

and hoping for the best

But,

I know better.

Life is.

It exists.

It’s your breath.

A constant carving.

A constant making.

You can’t sit back

and watch

You have to be

Get into it

Surpass yourself

Remember

what joy is

It’s a process.

It’s a lesson.

It’s a teaching.

It’s a forgiveness

and embrace.

You remembering you

and then moving

with every thought

you have

Picking up and throwing away

or stashing

It’s madness

in trial and error

then you overcome

and it all

makes sense

Don’t hate me

because I wonder why I am

Hate you because you wonder

why I am

Competition

Competition is a sideways thought

a glance

while you’re imagining the life

in your left palm

as it should be

in your right

the overcast spirit of forever

impossible

begins to shift as you imagine

yourself

finger by finger

elbow on table to stand up

or sit down

and dive into

whatever it is

you think is

possible

reasonable

acceptable

achievable

the fear is the self asking you

how dare you

at every turn

but the action is before every question

and you can’t deny

ideas

as soon as they germ

they’ve germed from an inkling

of possibility

of the thinking of the sense of a thing

that if you just thought a little longer

you might actually figure it out

how not to do it?

no

I’m sorry

How you could dare

Grateful

 

I see no difference

or distance

between the riots in Baltimore

and the self

immolation

of

Buddhist monks

protesting China’s

control of Tibet

who cares about

a Nike store there

or a CVS here

I’m grateful for the people

who see the difference

between these things

just things

and unjust control

of lives

that matters

all lives matter

all hearts

all souls

would burn for justice

we cannot pretend

to be more important

than another without

missing

the point

is that

nothing you have

was gotten

on or by

your own

alone

this air you breathe

is not

ungrateful

for being

used by you

it just wishes

you would

respect it

 

Basic

 

Love

Kindness

Smile

Gratitude

conversation

a decision

is yes

or no

the action

is the work

don’t be stingy

with my love

and kindness

don’t be greedy

with your smiles

anticipate my needs

for gratitude

and I will never

have a reason

to be mad

at you

 

Embers

 

Ignoring time

Eliminates the compulsion

to stop yourself

that there could be

a limit

something that needs

to be monitored

or measured

before it gets too much

puts you out of touch

with yourself

nature of life is

to coexist

and exist

to understand

and demand

understanding

by any means required

or desired

you cannot be restrained

if one small ember

inside you wants

to win

Embers don’t burn

to die

they burn to

reach

the sky