Is It?

So, what I’d like to call it

Is not what it always is

Sometimes

it’s happy

he’s sad

it’s disappointed

she’s gone

I wish I could remember

everything

I’m driving with you

and I can barely see out

the window

you always want

a penny for my thoughts

you always care

what I’m going through

if I’m through

I’m not used to it

disappointment

I’m not familiar with

bouncing back

because I’m still bouncing

back

the first time

was when your hug missed the mark

you didn’t know I was always shining

in your embrace

always waiting for your touch

you healed me

with your unspoken thoughts

and glances

you pretended

you were not there

but you were always everywhere

I was

everywhere for you too

I was going to show you

I was going to give you

things

hugs could not have been enough

sometimes, it was too sad

sometimes, it was too hard

for me

I forgive you

and I forgive myself

but not really myself