Raven Moore's Blog, page 6

Honour Killing

There is obviously

no honour in killing

but we kill

sometimes

and we say it’s because

we valued that life so much

that it shamed us

when it did that

or said that

or wore that

or ate that

or made that

or destroyed that

there is obviously

no love in killing

but in India or Pakistan

we kill

sometimes

and we say it’s because

we loved that life so much

that it shamed us

when it left us

when it hurt us

when it told on us

because

we made it believe in

things that only we thought

were right

were good

were normal

but in reality

there is obviously

no sense in killing

when it takes so much

just to have a life

and only the forces of nature

can take us away without explanation

because there is God in it

seeking balance

what balance can we give

when we are unbalanced

and create our value

by showing others we can kill

only existing to kill

is not existing at all

only existing to kill

is dying

even a cow knows it

that’s why Indians

don’t kill them

A Bunch of Fingers

People love musicians

because

they create

right then and there

they seem to think

and create

simultaneously

in your face

it’s not a secret

musicians

call you

to listen

is to be a part of the process

he takes a sip of water

in between notes

in between the strings

she pulls apart at the right

angle

at the right time

sometimes he plays without making noise

just

gliding his fingers

across the strings

imperceptibly

to everyone except

his heart

or hers

art is just

a bunch of fingers

working together

when no one else will

or knows

how

Sitting with Mine

Sitting with my mother

I realize how much I love her

sometimes

and when I don’t

it’s because I’m only

thinking of myself

not realizing that

she is my source

no matter how much

Mom gets

on my brain cells

driving me insane with

questions

I can’t understand the reason for

or

how many times I’ve already answered

did she forget

no

Mom’s never forget

they’re reminding you

of what you said

testing you

your resilience

that’s what Mom’s are for

it sometimes feels

like your nemesis

but your Mom is

the only one who will put a mirror

in front of your face

every time you get in front of hers

and insist that you remember

who you are

where you are

where you are supposed to be

where you should never be

and how to get there

even when Mom doesn’t know

she knows when something is not right

there’s no point in fighting

just smile and remember

your sitting with

yours

Did It Why?

Do it yourself

DIY

or why

why die

killing yourself

to make a dollar

out of no cents

common sense

should have told you

that

something beats nothing

so get out there

and

do it

yourself

by yourself

with yourself

of yourself

working for someone else

is working

for someone who did it

him or herself

and so well

that they can now have you

do it for them

there is nothing secure

about depending on someone else

because you are only needed

as long as you’re needed

and then

you’re not

needing yourself

wanting yourself

doing it yourself

is learning

is growing

falling down one million

times

trying to figure out what you can do

what Raven can do

do it well

do it over and over and over again

that’s doing it well

doing it so well

until it’s really done

until it’s really won

and you will be having fun

because you DIY

did it why

did it yourself

Somehow

I’m remembering

a certain feeling of

soft music

with instruments

played by real musicians

there was no Black and White

radio

all music that was good

was on the same station

I’m remembering brightly striped shirts

never matching with anything

but my mind

full of color and

life

ready to be absorbed by someone

and absorb something meaningful

I remember a sweet sun

that didn’t burn as much

warm skin

my olive tones

turned chocolate brown

nicely

I think of Santa Claus

only because it

was really my father

falling asleep

while wrapping my gifts

and I loved listening to

pass the dutchie to the left hand side

while opening gifts up

I thought it was pass the ketchup and

everyone

loved hotdogs like me

my father let me say words like

hamboogar

and bajamas

and only corrected me

if I was impolite

or factually incorrect

he had faith that

I would figure it out

and I guess

he’s right

but I’m still

figuring out

if he’s right

Seize the PayDay

What does it mean

when you come full

circle and still

remember

value

thirst

need

greed

circle it

walk away

come back

and still

remember

love

hate

your past

your desires

you go home

you go to sleep

you wake up and

come back to it

circle it

circle around it

sit on it

never letting go of all

that must be

and that should not have been

what does it mean when you can

heal

and

stand taller than you have ever stood

before

you used to

cry a lot

you used to be bitter

and resent

the same things

every single morning

you used to form lines

on your face

from scrunching it so much

so dissatisfied

so out of touch

with even yourself

not realizing that there is

more to you

than what you could have had

but

didn’t get and won’t

you need something bigger

than what you can’t have

you need to grow

evolve beyond your constant desires

learn

something

new

because anything that you really need

is always going to find it’s way to you

as long as you don’t give

into it

that feeling

up

that feeling

away

that feeling

back

that feeling

it means that you are living

and you can see the future

as that which you own

and have always owned

seize the payday

Pregnant Pause

Rajo Devi Lohan

Annegret Raunigk

Janet Jackson

one Indian

one German

one American

all got together one day

and decided it was time

to choose

when they were ready

not when TV said

not when Mom said

not when science said

not when the man on the corner

who always says hi to you

said

man, a pretty girl like you?

not when you meet that lady

at a party with three kids

and she too wants to know

why

why don’t you have anyone

a girl like you

oh, you should have no problem

don’t you want to have a man

don’t you want to be married

don’t you want to have children

it changed my life

it was the greatest gift that God

ever gave

to me

the German, the Indian, the American

compelled me

just then

to say no

just because

what I want

is more important than what you want

and what you want is only for you

not never

and

not now

I don’t want to

is that okay

but

but

but

she said

so I

got annoyed

got frustrated

and I

told her

I have a skill

actually I have 3

and I wanted to be

an obstetrician

but I changed my mind

and went to university

not knowing that

language would be the key

to opening my eyes

and finding my destiny

I’m a writer

and writers’ need

they need

and need

they are not complacent

when a man asks for it

maybe they say ummmmmm….

I don’t know

not now

maybe they complain a lot

and

maybe they think too much

way much

about what they want

and they want

they want something different

they don’t change

except when it makes them better

compromise

a writer knows no compromise

it’s her voice

her time

her story

the way she wants it

to be told

by herself

not a man

in a car

going far

who invests his time and money in

not her

if she wanted to run for president

she would first have to marry the president

and then she might have a chance

after she has a kid or two

of telling people permanently

to shut the hell up

we don’t care what you think

we’re not ready

when we’re ready

We will make it

happen and

you

dear friend

who cares about things that

only you can relate to

or that you think is timely to believe

will just

have to wait

and

listen

Echinacea Knees

When you’re sick

the last place that you should go

is

the hospital

I like doctors

but I don’t like

the bacteria

think of a hospital

as your last

resort

or breath

unless you were really meant to live

and somehow survive the ordeal

unscathed

your first doctor

should be sleep

followed by exercise

and plenty of

water

your food should be surrounded

by air

not metal

your drinks should not be able

to clean your engine

your snacks

should burn

when lit

on fire

last night

I played doctor

and took some

extra echinacea

with my sleepy time

and jumped out of bed

this morning folded deep

into my yoga

had a serious morning jog

followed by much longer

and enjoyable

calisthenics

I had

oxygen in my lungs

and a spring in my

echinacea knees

all one needs is

common sense

eyes to read and observe

ears to listen

and a diary

take notes

be a scientist of your own

body

study it

remember it

how it feels

when it doesn’t

when it hurts

when it’s good

remember

what you ate

when you ate

how much

are you willing to spend

at the hospital

for their itemized items

itemized specialists

itemized treatments

there is no such thing as service

in a hospital

it’s called insurance

and you pay for it

all of it

one way

or another

I much prefer

my way

Cumbia

If I wanted to court you

I might

show you

my cumbia

in New Jersey

or Mexico

or Guinea

or Nigeria

but if I show you

my Nigeria cumbia

you could never go back

to Lone Star

in Monterrey

no more baggy pants

or devil chants

Cholombiano

would be

Africano

and then you would have to

see me

desiring you

wanting you

dancing toward you

making you feel love

like you’ve never felt

love

giving it to you

with every wave

of my hip

my arm

my hand

my dip

I wouldn’t let you

touch me

just watch

and feel

what it feels like

to be entertained

and

ordained

in the practice

of spirit

can you hear it?

Happy Together

Facebook

is annoying me

because

it’s sending me all

these push notifications

to my new phone

that I was made to buy

because my old phone

was too old

and froze

because Verizon tried to

force a too large

update

on it

and so

I was forced to pay

more money

again

and this phone

is not letting me turn off my Facebook

notifications

easily

I actually have to

go into my phone’s settings

instead of the app

to turn off Facebook

because they both want me to suck up

all my data

and go over my limit

and lose my shit

or lose access

then I have to call again

and ask for more data

and then they will have to force

another update on it

because I’ll have too much

stuff that only exists

in electromagnetic waves

that we can’t even feel

and it will break

again

and I will spend more money

again

and I will lose some information again

because somehow

some stuff

that we can’t even feel

doesn’t transfer to the new phone

that supposedly has more space

on it

again

Facebook and Verizon

happy together

I’m going to create a new model

and the only customer

will be

me

with

limitless

data

and

limited

bull doodoo