Kevin Lintner's Blog, page 8

Review: Re-animated States of America. Story by Craig Mullins. Illustrations by Andrew Ozkenel.

The story begins with Herbert West deciding to break free from the doldrums of the basement of Miskatonic University and venture out into the world. West exits the hospital and steps into a world of imaginable horrors. The Old Ones have come and West must flee with Jehovah, his dog with a human head companion. This is a loving tribute to all things Lovecraft and is never dull and often hysterically funny. The illustrations that appear between each tale are very well done and are worth the price of the book by themselves. Throw in a 6th star for a reanimated Luchador who loses his mask which is worn with much joy by Jehovah. You should stop reading this review now and buy the book, it is far more entertaining and well written. Shoo, now, go on. Get out of here, you can never stay in one place too long lest the monsters get you.

Click here to purchase from Amazon.

Trying To Utilize Goodreads More.

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Review: Stoker (2013, Rated R)

Stoker is a 2013 British-American psychological thriller film written by Wentworth Miller (Michael Scofield from Prison Break) and directed by South Korean filmmaker Park Chan-wook (Old Boy) in his English-language debut.
Richard Roeper referred to this movie as "chilling and stylish and aggressively creepy" and that pretty much hit the cinematic nail right on the head.  At time the movie suffers from more style than substance, but it's very easy to ignore because of the great performances from the entire cast.
India Stoker's father dies on her 18th birthday and a short time later her Uncle Charlie that's she's never heard of before shows up and moves in to help "take care" of her and her mother.  There's no doubt right from t e start of the movie that Charlie is one messed up and creepy man.  He is charming, polite, kind and very supportive of India. He's also a cold-blooded killer who quickly dispatches her head housekeeper and India's great aunt because they are aware of the dark secret he is hiding.  Later he shows up to save India from being raped in the woods and breaks the boy's neck with his belt while he is still laying on top of India.
As the movie progresses, Charlie works on seducing both India and her mother and the movie branches off into some extremely uncomfortable territory.  I don't want to give away too much but there is a long scene where India masturbates in the shower as she relives the killing of her would be rapist and climaxes at the moment her uncle breaks the boy's neck.
The tension is thick throughout the movie and relies a lot more on atmosphere and tension than it does violence until the brutal final minutes.
This move has been featured on many horror critic's top ten horror movies of 2013.  This is far from a traditional horror movie but it is horrifying on a cerebral level that sticks with you long after the movie ends.
**** 1/2 out of *****

Review: Bumping Noses and Cherry Pie by Charie D. La Marr

"Bumping Noses and Cherry Pie" is a collection of 26 short stories written in the vein of a new literary genre that the author, Charie D. LA Marr called "Circus Punk."  This genre describes the stories in the book perfectly as they don't really fit into any other category.  They're a marvelously awesome blend of Punk and Bizarro and each story offers a look at circus life that only a professional circus clown like the author can offer.
The stories are funny, gruesome, scary and mind-bending all at the same time and before you know it, you've breezed through the entire collection and left feeling satisfied that you were immersed in great story telling.
Whether you like, love, or loathe clowns and the circus life in general you should read this book.  In fact I'd love to watch reaction videos of people suffering from coulrophobia squirm their way through this book.  
Thanks to Charie for submitting this fantastic collection for review.  I loved it and I feel confident you will too!
"Bumping Noses and Cherry Pie" is available in both print and Kindle formats, and you can pick it up here:http://www.amazon.com/Bumping-Noses-Cherry-Charie-Marr/dp/149433660X

Kill List (2012)

Eight months after a disastrous job in Kiev left him physically and mentally scarred, ex- soldier turned contract killer, Jay, is pressured by his partner, Gal, into taking a new assignment. As they descend into the dark and disturbing world of the contract, Jay begins to unravel once again – his fear and paranoia sending him deep into the heart of darkness.

Above is the official blurb for the British oddity known as "Kill List." As I was watching this movie, I kept asking myself, "why is this billed as a horror film?" What I was watching was a movie about two hit men, Jay and Gal, who get hired to take out a child pornography ring one member at a time. It was tense, brutal at times, and while slow, it was a slow boil as things got increasingly more violent and disturbing. I was pretty sure this film was wrongly categorized until the last 20 minutes roll around and then the supernatural/horror aspect smacks you upside the head and then in the last 5 minutes I the smack upside the head became more like a brutal beating with a brick. I had a good idea who the main character was fighting under that sheet, but, I never saw what else was under that sheet coming. I was blown away.

Most of the movie is really, really good but I was a tad disappointed in loose ends that were never wrapped up. The most glaring one is an explanation for why every mark thanked Jay repeatedly before he killed them.
 
Even so, I consider this a must see for anyone who like British crime dramas mixed with human sacrifice, disemboweling, and occultism.

**** out of *****

Film Review: The Battery

So many horror movie sites have had 'The Battery" listed in their Best of 2013 lists that I went out of my way to find and watch this move. It's a shame a worked so hard to watch something I enjoyed so little. I just could not get into the movie. The dialog was forced and unnatural, the zombies were poorly done, and the story line was kind of well, missing. Here's the plot in a nutshell. Two baseball players from New England get on each other's nerves all the time as they travel through backwoods New England trying not to get eaten by zombies. They use the 'f' word way more than necessary, they call each other names, and then one of them faps while a top heavy zombie presses her boobs against the car window trying to get in. That's pretty much it. Maybe I was just in a bad mood at the time, but whatever made this movie so special to so many reviewers completely escaped me. ** our of *****

DangerRama by Danger Slater.

I've recently had the pleasure of reading DangerRama by Danger Slater and I liked it so much I wanted to write this here blog thing here to tell you all about it. "DangerRama" is a collection of 3 novellas (that means really short books or maybe really long short stories for all the home-schooled people out there) that deal with time travel, sleepwalking and being lost in space.

The first, and my favorite story of the trio is Knights of the White Castle, an story that covers multiple dimensions, break dancing dinosaurs, a fast food employee with an eating disorder, a knight lost in time, and the rather dim scientist trying to put everything back together while adjusting to life as a dragon. It's fast paced, laugh out loud funny, and a great read.

The 2nd story, Somnambulant, is about a 30 something man named Dylan with a sleeping disorder. Dylan walks in his sleep. Not only does he walk in his sleep, he manages to get himself into the most fucked up situations that his conscious self is left to deal with in the morning. He wakes up with plastic explosives strapped to his chest, he travels through the GI tract of a blue whale, and even gets involved with an art heist. Along the way readers are introduced to the homosexual version of Will Smith and a three-headed terrorist. Slater's imagination runs wild in this story and it takes readers on a fantastic trip.

The final story Me&Me&Me&Me&Me&Me&Me&Me is a sci-fi wonder. An astronaut is sent into space to set up a teleportation device that will open the door to intergalactic colonization and free up a lot of space on earth to boot. Things, as they always do in space, go horribly wrong and out protagonist is cut off from all communication and send veering off course. The astronaut falls madly in love with his own finger and travels backward through time to the moment of the Big Bang.

DangerRama is available on Amazon. You should give your self a great Christmas gift by buying this book.

http://www.amazon.com/DangerRAMA-Danger-Slater/dp/0615837298

Spread A Little Christmas Cheer

I know it's a rough time for everyone, but every little bit helps. Devon & Anna both have a rare genetic disorder called Cornelia DeLange Syndrome. A vehicle is a must for their care. All of the money saved for Christmas went to replace the family car.

November Coming Fire by Jeff O'Brien

I love Jeff O'Brien. As a person, he's fucking awesome and as a writer he's definitely in my Top 10 list of "Oh I can't Wait For Something New From This Author." "November Coming Fire" is a bit of a departure for O'Brien from his usual farcical take on cliched horror themes. NCF is much more mature, serious, and sad. The story is filled with very well written characters, a thick and brooding sense of horrors to come, and so as to not disappoint his regular readers, interracial lesbian sex involving demonic control and crucifix penetration. I really enjoyed this read and definitely recommend checking it out as soon as possible. November's Coming Fire is available from Amazon.com for 4.99 and you can get it here: http://www.amazon.com/November-Coming-Fire-Leedham-Chronicles-ebook/dp/B00AWT0FHW

Help Me Choose My Next Short Story!

Pick My Next Short Story A woman's thumb leads a coup against her head A satanic rite goes awry and the the Antichrist is summoned into a dildo. A mam wakes up hanging upside down from a telephone pole and has no idea how he got there. Miley Cyrus' twerking causes a time rift and C'Thulu emerges from her anus.  pollcode.com free polls