Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 73

When you can't meet someone's expectations

When you can't meet someone's expectations, make sure they don't try to project their disappointment onto you. Their disappointment is not your responsibility, because it's their expectations, not yours. Persistent Observer

I have been thinking about the quote above for a few days and particularly the line "their disappointment in not your responsibility, because it's their expectations, not yours"
I thought about this from the point of view of placing my own expectations on others and being disappointed when they fall short.
Did I communicate these expectations, and clearly?
Did they agree to meet these expectations?
If they did not agree did I go ahead and still expect the same thing?

Disappointment is difficult, who likes not having what they want when they want?
I certainly don't.

But inside that feeling of disappointment there are some lessons, some nuggets.
Communication, Trust, Discipline, Flow are all being called to the fore.
The biggest lesson for me is this - you get to choose. If someone has demonstrated in word, and deed that they cannot or are unwilling to meet the expectations that you have clearly  communicated then it is up to us to choose whether we want them in our lives or not.
If we blame, project, dismiss and deny, chances are the disappointment and resentment will grow. 
The choice may not be what we want or like in that moment but necessary.
So - the choice is yours, the expectation is yours and so is the disappointment
Catch that!
Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

It is what it is.

When clarity comes, I hope you have the courage not to talk yourself out of what you know. It is what it is. Dr Thema

The signs were there.The actions were evident.The details seemed clear.

What is the fear?Why did you not make the decision that you knew was required?
You asked for clarity.You asked for an answerYou asked for guidanceBut did you ask for courage?
What is the fear?
The unknown is scary. We just don't know!We want to know. We want details. We want next steps. We want a plan.We want facts.Facts can trip you up. Facts can change.
The question is do you trust yourself to be ok no matter what?I have learnt that the key into making a move into the unknown is trust of self.Look in the mirror, straight into your eyes until you can say it- straight no chaser - I trust you!Peace

Do You Know The Thoughts and Beliefs that No Longer Serve You?

Do You Know The Thoughts and Beliefs that No Longer Serve You? Iyanla Vanzant

Did I know, at the time that I read this, what were the thoughts and beliefs that no longer served me?
Confessions on the Journey -I had zero clue. I did not even consider that this question  would be one be of use to me.
What are the thoughts and beliefs that I held that no longer served me?
Was that even a thing though?
I was willing to give it some time so so I sat and thought about it .
This is what I came up with

Thoughts,beleifs and behaviours that no longer serve me:

1.  The belief and thought that I am unworthy especially in certain circles and certain places
2.  The belief and thought that I am not enough
3.  The thought and belief that I am unlovable
4.  The thought that I have to prove that I am smart, that being smart is intimidating to someone wanting an intimate relationship with me.
5. The thought that I must always be happy, cheerful, nice and make people feel comfortble who are around me even if they act the fool.
6. The thought and belief that I will not be taken care of in my old age

Behaviours that no longer serve me

1. Eating excessive amounts of chocolate especially when I am upset, hiding the feelings in the chocs! (it tastes so good though)
2. That I cannot make a living doing what I love to do

These are thoughts - thoughts can be changed, beliefs can be changed. Especially when they contribute to negative outcomes and unproductive behaviour for ourselves.

Do this exercise, its a banger!
Feel free to share if you so desire

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

How are you transforming your energy?

To fully accept does not mean to fully agree with, but it means that you’ve not set up this resistance.  Then, within this acceptance, you have the power to make choices whether to agree -- be affected -- both -- or neither . Guru Singh 


I was upset that I was asked to leave the house. I was moaning, complaining,I was mad vex - that means beyond annoyed and not actually wanting to make sense. This went on for a bit. I felt justified in my mad vexation. 

I jumped into the car and as I was driving - in my pissed off state the car started wobbling, getting out of control. I immediately abandoned all feelings of mad vexation. Fear took over.
I managed to stop the car without hitting anything or harming anyone. As I stepped out I saw that they tyre has bust open and left me on the rim.

I stood there and said a short thank you for this blessing I have just received. I thought about the energy that I was carrying around. Energy cannot be destroyed it can only be transformed. We are so powerful that we can transform our energy with just a thought, a consistent thought.
Our minds are that powerful
But to get there I learnt that there must be acceptance of where we are. Once we accept that this is it, this is the reality then we can have an acceptable response.

I accepted that I had to leave the house, I did not like it. The acceptance meant that I had to chose a response that would keep my energy levels as positive as possible because the energy that we carry around filters into every single thing that we do.

How are you transforming your energy?

Peace 
Have you read any of Akosua's work?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

8 Lessons I Have Learnt in This New Time

Self-pity in its early stage is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable . - Maya Angelou

Everything happens for a reason, sometimes we may not know what it is- I believe that wholeheartedly. We put meaning on our experiences, most of the time assisgning the meaning based on the past. Many times the past can be a guide, however in a new moment, sometimes a new way has to be called upon.The entire world has been forced to adopt a new normal, I have added my own filter as to what it can do if looked at with a loving perspective.These are my thoughts
1) The playing field is now levelling more than ever. This new normal has demonstrated that at this moment we are all equal despite our job, calling, financial situation, fame. We all need the toilet paper, we all need connection, we all need food. We all crave connection.
2) Any evidence that you needed to be reminded that we are all connected and not even false borders can change that, it is here. What you do in China affects what I do in Trinidad and Tobago, and what someone does on a cruise affects someone on land. If we recognise this connection we can be kinder, more compassionate, less selfish and see how our actions can have impact…on the world.Being mindful of our own actions has ripple effects.
3) Our health is our wealth is no longer an old used cliche. This is the truth in this moment.  Continuing the trend of eating poorly and not moving our body, skipping sleep, and ignoring rest will....simply kill you. I don't know how else to say that.
4) Life can be fleeting, what are we doing with this fleeting moment. Are we making where we are better, are we living to our best self and potential? We can choose with the simple act of not hoarding groceries the difference we make in this fleeting moment.
5) We have become a materialistic society basing our value and self worth on the trinkets, toys and "things" that we own and can show the world what we have aquired. In this time we are seeing what is really required and where we can place our value for a more fulfilling life. It is showing us what really matters.
6) This is the time to rebuild our homes, our families and our lives if we are given the opportunity. If we are healthy enough to be here at the end of it.7) It is a time to consider if our true work is really the job that we have or what we were created to do. Our true work must involve making where we are better than we met it. 8) It is reminding us to keep our egos in check. This is bigger than us. No matter who you are, you can be infected and affected.
Let us take the time to be patient, to not panic, to show up where we are called to show up and to stop hoarding toilet rolls!PeaceHave you read any of Akosua's work?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Affirm what is Good -

Affirm what is Good - Rev Deborah L Johnson


During this new time, chose to affirm the good.
Choose Love
Choose Prayer
Choose Kindness
Choose Compassion
Choose Supporting one another
Choose and Affirm what is good
We are all in this together

Peace

These Lessons Are Useful

you will not love everything you learn during this time, but you will need it... Joel Leon

Staying inside, staying put, staying calm can seem like a prison sentence. Like someone taking away your freedom.
Trust me, the feelings of being trapped can overwhelm us.
But trust me with this as well, we can shift our perspectives.
Sitting still has become uncomfortable in a fast paced world that rewards busyness, rewardshustle, making money and being seen at the most important and hip places.

I believe that we were becoming out of balance and a stern pull back was all that would work. We would have found ways to get back busy, to get back out of balance if it was not.

So ask yourself:
1. What am I learning?
2. How am I spending my time?
3. What makes me uncomfortable to sit still and why?

Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Flow means you're responding to the cues of Life

GOING WITH THE FLOW IS RESPONSIVE, NOT PASSIVE.
It’s not New Age chillaxin’. It’s not about being a bystander—it’s very responsive. Flow is alert relaxation. You're responding to cues from Life. And the more conscious you are, the more subtle those cues can be, you don’t need a wake up call to get the signal, you don’t need to get waaay off course. You trust. And you listen and the Flow takes you riiiight where you’re meant to be . Danielle La Porte


In this time that we are now in where world travel has been put on pause, where places such as theatre's cinemas, concert halls are closed, where it is recommended that going outside is limited to getting food and essentials. How do you feel when someone says go with the flow
It seems as if nothing is happening, so what flow should I be going with?

The flow  here is responding to the cues of life where you are at the moment
You are not able to go outside as much as before, or at all - Flow with it, Feel what you feel, listen to your inner voice, sit in the new place - which I must tell you- may be uncomfortable.

The flow here is stop wanting to control the moment particularly when you feel fear.
The flow is taking the time to stop when you react habitually.
The flow is having faith, knowing that this too shall pass
The flow looks like doing new things in a new way
The flow is responding

Be willing to go with the flow
Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Make the Necessary Adjustments

allow things to come as they may and make the necessary adjustments. cirino

With our new normal of social distancing and self isolating, adjustments are necessary.
What are some of the activities and actions have you been doing since things have shifted?
What are some of your recommendations?
What are some of your lessons?

So far, the top lessons for me have been:

1. Doing something all the time does not mean that you are being useful and not doing anything all the time does not mean that you are useless

2. If we do not rest and reboot, the Universe will find a way for us to do so and it may be in ways we do not like.

3. We still have free will to use how we see fit.

4. Gratitude is still the great multiplier

5. How we feel is valid

6. There is nothing to fear

7. Be mindful of what you feed your mind, body and soul. Now and when things have calmed down.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Balance

go where your joy is. go where you face your fear . Olivia Jade


Joy and Pain are like sunshine and rain - Frankie Beverly and Maze sing in their seminal song.
The sun cannot shine all the time, nor can the rain fall. There must be a balance for us to survive.
Just as with where we are in life, as we move towards the joy, it is advisable to get curious about the fear. Get curious about it, ask the fear some questions, trust me you will be surprised at some of the responses received from being ready to face the fear.
In order for us to fully move forward, everything must be accepted, everything! The good and the not so good. This is not to say we may like it. We can accept that there is fear, not deny it.

In the upcoming weeks, there will be some fear given this new normal
Be curious about it. Don't dismiss it , dismissing it won't make it go away forever, it will only delay its return and its effects
Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook