Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 72

Your journey is your own

"Go on your own journey. Don’t let others hold you back; don’t hold them back. Don’t judge their journey, and don’t let them judge yours." 
- Melody Beattie, an American author of self-help books on codependent relationships.
Your journey is your own. That sounds simple but we all know simple is not always easy.You get the little nudges from the Universe, you get the subtle messages and reminders. No one elseSo when we attempt to fit into a box we feel trapped because it is not our journey nor is it our box.To walk your path takes courage and discipline, those qualities must be developed. Many times when we think we are being tested all it is may be the place where courage and discipline are being strengthened to allow you to set off on the next path on your Journey.Pay attention Don't fight it because what you resist will persist!Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Intentions

You will spend years saving others and forget yourself. One day, you will tell them, 'but I gave up so much of myself!' and you know what they will rightfully ask, 'did we ask you to?' Ijeoma Umebinyuo
Intentions are critical. The why behind what we are doing.There are so many actions being taken out of fear, habits, obligations and denial. Those actions when done repeatedly tend to bring about a feeling of resentment.The joy of doing and giving swiftly disappear.
It is important to set our intentions early so that we can be aware of why we are doingwhat we choose to do and what are our expectations.When our why and our expections are unclear both to us and to others, 
there can be a number of implications. 
Ulterior motives usually always end up in a messy situation.Confusion, resentment, failure to live up to expectations and the list continues.
Communicating our why's and intentions can be a challenge.It takes courage to set boundaries and to keep themIt takes courage to bring up conversations that can be hurtful unintentionally.But it saves us the resentment and all its side effects at the end of it.Practice courage by doing Practice communication by doingPractice setting your intentions by doingAnd soon enough you will see that even though the situation may be tough, you feel not only a sense of courage but a peace that passeth all understanding
Peace

Surrender is Expansive

There is an art to being sad. To really allow yourself to simply be sad - to not resist it, to not make it wrong, to not label it a problem, is an act of surrender. And surrender is expansive. It’s a letting go of judgments and grievances and explanations and justifications and excuses and any form of false positivism. Marianne Williamson

I was chatting with someone yesterday and she said she is letting the feelings come over her and letting it be. I thought that was a beautiful way to navigate through this time of great uncertainty. Allowing the feelings in and letting them be. Rather than judging them as right, wring, bad or good or dismissing them away asking them to leave you alone. Then letting them pass. 

I have been asking  myself "how do you feel?" And being open to the answer

Some days I feel content to laze around the house listening to music, reading, watching a movie
Some days I feel frustrated that I cannot go to the beach or outside as I darn well please
Some days I feel so grateful that I am at home alive, safe and healthy
Some days I cuss because of what I see online 
Some days I am happy

I have committed to let all the feelings wash over me, feel them and let them go. 
And that my friends, feels better.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Pay Attention to Your Body's Signals

LISTENING TO THE NEEDS OF ONE'S BODY means to give it what it needs. Physically, it means giving your body food when it is hungry, rest when it is tired or allowing your body to sleep when it is sleepy. Because the other two bodies are much more subtle, it is more difficult to identify the times when we do not listen to their needs. Lise Bourbeau

Our bodies speak to us, gives us clues and messages. When we ignore the nudges from our bodies there are consequences, many times those consequences are pain and illness.
We have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for the reasons behind why we are feeling a certain way or have a particular pain.
Many times, we were given the signs by our bodies to pay attention in some way but being busy with our lives we either ignore it, pop a pill to stop the pain, justify why we cannot and must not stop and pay attention and carry on. Many times we wait until it is a crisis.
Pay attention to your body's signals, they are really guides on the journey.
My shoulder was paining for a while, I ignored it and continued as normal. One day I could not move, literally!I realised after that I felt burdened with the matters that were occuring in my life, I believed I had to shoulder the weight alone, that if I shared it I would be looked at as not just weak but not having my own life and issues under control. I was  also not resting fully, going and going, traveling and working.
The pain stopped me in my tracks, I could not drive, could not run or walk, could not even put on my clothes properly for a couple of weeks, I had to do physical therapy to get the full use of my shoulder again. All stemming from not paying attention to my own signals and ignoring facing what I knew I was supposed to face and accept.
I now ask myself and my body when something is feeling off - "What are you saying to me?" before I do anythingSo far, it has worked even when there are times I am totally shocked or pissed off at some of my own actions which are driven by fear and ego.I just remain grateful that our bodies are so intelligent and love us so much that they take the time to get our attention

Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self LoveNyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

What I want the New Normal to Look Like

Telling our stories Frees us - Ebonee Davis

This is an uncertain time, we just cannot say when the stay at home orders will be lifted, we cannot pin point when we will be allowed to exercise outdoors again, when the borders will be reopened, and the list goes on and on. Uncertainly is scary, we human want to know. We want to plan, we want to be ready. Certainty makes a lot of us feel powerful. What is certain is that things are no longer normal. Normal has now taken on a new meaning whether we want to admit it or not.
I have committed to creating a new normal for myself, on the flip side. What I share below is what I would love to see in the world on the flip side of this.

1. Working From Home - more of this please!

2. Zoom Meetings  - Yes thank you

3. Remote Learning - Thanks again

4. Higher salaries and packages for nurses, healthcare workers, drivers, restaurant workers and grocery attendants, universal health care for all.

5. Growing more of our own food - Organics!

6. More Rest, Less Busyness

7. Innovative Business Models that focus on needs and not flattery alone

8. Resumption of Exercising outdoors

9. Respect for Nature and the Earth

10. Comfort in the discomfort of the unknown and not knowing everything

What Are some of the things you want to see on the flip side?

Peace
Have you read any of Akosua's work?



What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

How I Keep Grounded - Feature in Newsday

it can be hard to know how to let others into your own inner experience . Mastin Kipp

Giving thanks for the opportunity to contribute to the conversation in my own way
Click on the link below for the Newsday Feature in Today's Paper

Coping with Covid 19 - How Akosua Stays Grounded

Peace

Are You Ready to be Transformed?

When we are willing to be transformed, we stop wasting time theorizing, projecting, denying, or avoiding our own ego resistance. Richard Rohr


Think about your response to others when you are scared about doing a new thing, think about the response when someone who believes in you is pushing you towards an action they believe will get you closer to your dreams.
Think of your own self talk when having to make a choice of a new job, a new relationship, reaching towards your goals - all things without a known income from the onset.

We humans can justify anything we want or don't want to do, we can come up with reasons, excuses, rationales for doing or not doing something. When there is risk and unknown, we get apprehensive. we feel out of control. We just want to know and be reassured.
When we find ourselves doing this- we are not ready for the transformation.The lesson may be to trust yourself, trust your intuition, have faith in yourself and your dreams.
Not being ready is ok.It gives us time to go back and get ready, get prepared. Notice the resistance, notice the justification, notice the ego jumping out. It gives us time to build our own trust and self belief.
Get curious about why you are not ready, about your reasons for making up these stories. Get surious about why your trust and belief in self is waning.

The more you do that, it reflects to you the path, the fear, and it gets easier.

Many times we are in our own way. Change gets us uneasy. Better the thing we know , than the uncertain.
I can tell you, no matter what, its all lessons

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

Abandon all projections

Our prayer is that you dance by yourself and dance with your lovers; abandon all projections and enjoy life as music; engage all the benefits that come with reception; deflect potential accidents; turn them into blameless incidents and enjoy the joy that causes no harm and no foul . . . because you can . . . and you are always in love. Guru Singh


I have been cooking. Now why is that a thing you ask? And I don't blame you.
Well.....Confessions on the Journey - I have not cooked in a very long time. Probably almost a year has passed since I last cooked in the kitchen that I have.
The new normal has ushered me into the kitchen - Who Knew?

I have resisted cooking. 
I have fought against cooking
I made excuses 

Honestly, I don't like to cook. I am better at eating than cooking. 
I sat down and thought about this in my new time - what is this resistance about?
Resistance many times comes  with fear, sometimes it comes with denial.
Resistance comes with being defensive

So if I am resisting cooking what am I in fear and denial about?

I remember at a time I would love to cook, I would look up receipes and make them, and revel in the creation. I was well known for the Christmas Tuna and Plaintain Log. It became a tradition rund these parts.

But since living alone, I just have not been motivated to cook.
I asked myself - is it because I  am cooking for me?
Is it because I want to share meals

And now, cooking over the past few days it struck me, I like to share meals that I cook, cooking was my love language to others and transfering that love to myself was tough.
The love is still there, it was just to turn it inward.

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

the world gets better when we do

the world gets better when we do Joel Leon

What happens when you constantly complain?
How do you feel?
Where do you feel it?
What part of the body do you feel a shift in?
Do you even know?

Comstantly complaining is how adults cry without visible tears.
Then there are times that the complaining is projected outwards in behaviour towards others. This action tells us that we are crying very loudly. Sobbing even, the pain is more intense.
There must be a time when the complaining turns into some type of tangible action. Some type of healing, some type of transformation of the energy. Until then, the situation that is being complained about will continue.

What are some of the ways for transformation of the energy of complaining?
1. Acceptance - looking at what is, rather than what is supposed to be or what you want to happen.
2. Awareness - being conscious of how you speak, and respond to a situation. We sometimes habitually head towards what we always knew - moaning. Awareness gives us a sense of what our response is so that if it is constantly a habitual response which beings no action then we can change it
3. Discipline - practising and more practising of the actions.

As Bob Marley says - if you sit down and you quarrel everday, yuh saying prayers to the Devil I say

Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook

When you can't meet someone's expectations

When you can't meet someone's expectations, make sure they don't try to project their disappointment onto you. Their disappointment is not your responsibility, because it's their expectations, not yours. Persistent Observer

I have been thinking about the quote above for a few days and particularly the line "their disappointment in not your responsibility, because it's their expectations, not yours"
I thought about this from the point of view of placing my own expectations on others and being disappointed when they fall short.
Did I communicate these expectations, and clearly?
Did they agree to meet these expectations?
If they did not agree did I go ahead and still expect the same thing?

Disappointment is difficult, who likes not having what they want when they want?
I certainly don't.

But inside that feeling of disappointment there are some lessons, some nuggets.
Communication, Trust, Discipline, Flow are all being called to the fore.
The biggest lesson for me is this - you get to choose. If someone has demonstrated in word, and deed that they cannot or are unwilling to meet the expectations that you have clearly  communicated then it is up to us to choose whether we want them in our lives or not.
If we blame, project, dismiss and deny, chances are the disappointment and resentment will grow. 
The choice may not be what we want or like in that moment but necessary.
So - the choice is yours, the expectation is yours and so is the disappointment
Catch that!
Peace

Have you read any of Akosua's work?


What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Nyabo (Madam) - Why Are You Here?Daily Lessons on the Journey - A Journal
Follow Akosua onTwitterInstagramFacebook