Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 34
October 17, 2022
Boundaries not Walls
Are you angry because someone crossed a boundary or angry because you didn’t set one? Maryam Hasnaa
Confessions on the Journey - Maintaining boundaries are tough for me. As a recovering people pleaser, speaking up when the boundaries that I have set are crossed have been a challenge.
I say to myself - who wants to annoy other people? who wants to feel uncomfortable?
What I have started to ask myself is - what if there is healing on the other side of this?
Your healing has to be a priority in your life, it has to be more important than pleasing others because you want them to like you, be happy with you.
Boundaries say I respect myself enough to hold true to my values and beliefs about myself. Setting boundaries is a gesture of self-love, worthiness and respect. When you have clear boundaries you cannot be taken advantage of.
Melodie Beattie says "boundaries emerge from deep within, they are connected to letting go of guilt and shame. Things change because we have changed"
Practice setting boundaries, practice upholding them, it takes time and effort. When mastered watch how your life changes, people who respect you will remain and those who don't will fall off. Foolproof!
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
October 14, 2022
Leave some room for Life's surprises
It’s natural that we do what we can to ward off danger and further ourselves. While our control strategies—such as aggression, judging, planning, seeking approval, pretending—have a developmental role, they are not a recipe for happiness, intimacy and freedom. Tara Brach
What does freedom look like to you?
What does freedom feel like to you?
We say we want to be free yet we engage in activities that bind us, that does not promote freedom. I am talking here about the activities which we do from a place of fear. Withholding or running from intimacy and vulnerability keeps us bound to inauthentic relationships.
Inauthentic relationships are those where we live in fear, striving to prove that we are worthy, those that we feel we are not living our truths, where we are not at peace, where we have to lie to ourselves and others. There is very little freedom in living like that.
When we feel the need to be in control all the time, there is very little room for faith, trust and surprises. Life specializes in surprises. Most of the time, those surprises bring to our lives situations and moments that we would and could not even imagine.
When our safety is not being compromised it is important to leave room fir trust, faith and a little bit of life's surprises.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
October 12, 2022
Action and Attention does not defeat impermanence
Love does indeed have healing qualities, but love is also a verb. It demands action. It demands attention. It demands participation. But action, attention, and participation does not defeat impermanence. Stacey Hererra
One of the most important lessons I have learnt on the journey is "everything in life is impermanent" The awareness and acceptance of life's impermanence will bring you a level of peace. We will all not be here at some point in time, we are here for a time and purpose. This is sobering for many and for many reasons.
We hold on to things whether they are for our highest good or not, it is comforting to know! We measure our lives, relationships by years, by time. There is merit in that, however when we forget that everything is life is fleeting we tend to get caught up in holding on for dear life.
This lesson taught me to remain in the moment, to do my best in the moment because that moment will never happen again. How do we show up in that moment, how do we learn in the moment and move on. When we fall into the trap of wanting to hold on it manifests itself in so many ways. We hold on to jobs, relationships, situations that time has passed. We hold on to beliefs, rituals, history that no longer serves us. We hold on to memories that traumatize us, rather than learning from it, judging and punishing ourselves.
As Stacey Hererra says, what ever action we take will not make a memory, a relationship, a job, a situation last forever. So why not practice being in the moment, learning from it, enjoying it until it passes?
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
October 5, 2022
Change the way you tell the story
Life humbles you. As you grow old, you stop chasing the big things and start valuing the little things. Alone time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks, and quality time with loved ones. Simplicity becomes the ultimate goal.
I found self love in Uganda Because of group of ladies led by a warrior called Josephine. Because of walking in nature. Because of the universe. Because I worked on it. Because I went within for it. Because I was willing to look at my fear and shit and heartbreak and failure directly in the eyes, ugly and all, and choose love anyway. Because of solitude, I finally had time to know what self love meant. And everything changed, in the way life felt. Yet nothing changed, because all its hardships were still there. I just changed the way I told my life's story
Instead of getting rejected and deciding “I am not good at that...” self love allowed me to get rejected and instead decide or think “that was not good for me.” Setback was no longer about me or my worth and qualification.Every single one of our souls has the ability to find true self love. Many of you already have. It’s not a guarantee, unless you’re willing to do it
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
October 3, 2022
October is the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Today we pass illusions by. ACIM
Dear October
Welcome, you have ushered in the last quarter of 2022
May we partner for:
1. Discipline
2. Consistency
3. Fun
4. Self-Belief
5. Rest
6. Authenticity
7. Abundance
8. Boundaries
9. Unconditional Self-Love
May I also remember that life never asked me for my schedule or guaranteed that my schedule will be followed, but only to live fully, purposefully, lovingly and intentionally.
PeaceAkosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 30, 2022
Top 3 Lessons on the Journey for September
I Integrate all the lessons learned from this past month. Through this process my soul is nourished, my mind is stretched and the Chi flows freely through my body. Seven Sones Leadership
September has been a month of lessons for me. let me tell you my friends!. I have had to draw on so many of the tools and lessons learnt on this Journey. As I reflect, I now know that I feel grateful for the exposure to those past lessons. They certainly came in handy this month. I think we tend to forget that we have tools, affirmations, lessons and experience when we are in the middle of life and its challenges. This is where a pause comes in. If we just continue to go and go, remaining busy we are not giving ourselves time to feel, to deal and to heal. This approach has consequences, the biggest of them all is we continue to remain stuck and in a cycle of pain.
These are my top 3 lessons on the Journey for September:
Forgiving myself first as a pathway to forgiving others must be the biggest one. Forgiving and judging others became easier once I did that.
Recognizing that love is what I am rather than something out there that I have to go looking for was another huge lesson during this month.
Fear shows up in so many ways, when making decisions from fear, there are always consequences and our bodies keep score. Fear also shows up in our bodies
Add some fun and joy into life - another major lesson - joy is our birthright, we more than deserve it.
Do something that brings you joy - daily! Life is much more than struggle and challenges
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 28, 2022
It Matters How we View a Thing
You and I both know that it matters how we view a thing; how we treat the information. It matters whether or not we let it sit there, forming an obstruction. If we were so inclined, we might stay too long in what was. We might hang around in the dim light, keeping old scores. Today is different. We know more. We have seen more. We are conflicted, more separate, lonelier than ever before, so we understand that some of our old ways were too expensive. Yrsa Daley Ward
We are the meaning makers. This statement resonated with me when hearing a version of events from a really good friend. We were both there at the same time, yet both of our stories were different, neither was wrong or untruths.
How we each view events is linked to factors such as our experiences, our thoughts, our energy, our thoughts. Each of us carry with us our own energy. This is important to remember in all types of relationships. People see, view and interpret the same situation differently. If we remember that on this journey, it goes a long way in reminding you that you are not crazy, wrong or bad to share different views to others.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 26, 2022
You are a Higer Energy Being
Something to consider: you are not your feelings. You are a “higher” energy being that is accommodating the “lower” energies of feelings. You're the sky. The emotions are the clouds. Which is not to say emotions are low vibe. They are a GPS system for our lives. Danielle La Porte
Have you ever noticed that when you have happy, joyous feelings its easier for you to feel them and let them pass and quickly and when you have feelings that lead to fear, discomfort and apprehension, we hold on to them and keep them longer than necessary?
It's almost like we don't believe that good feelings ought to linger and last.
What I have learnt is to feel them all. Both are valid, both are useful, both are guides.
When we believe we are "worth it" we incorporate the positive vibes into our living and use it as fuel to take us forward, to support us when the vibe shifts.
Go ahead, feel the positive vibes, you are so worth it.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 22, 2022
My new Formula to Rebuild
So rather than allowing our lives to be dictated by fear of the unknown or trying to avoid falling, we can appreciate that sometimes we experience life fully when we are willing to trust and fall. And in doing so, we may just find that we have the wings to fly. Daily OM
In my arrogance I sometimes ignore the things that the universe is kind enough to show me. Life has shown me that shake-ups are inevitable and even when I don’t invite crisis I can’t always prevent it. It has also taught me that I should always be receptive to doing things in a new way and opportunity. This has not been my state of mind; I often want the rebuild without the renovation, but ripping apart and destruction must take place first.
The second phase of a renovation is the most cumbersome and tedious, the cutting away, and removing of unwanted or unnecessary materials. After a lot of measuring - twice, cutting once, and reconstruction the end result is the refreshed new space. This is a metaphor for my life. The process of rebuilding an outdated life is often as unsettling as the incident that incited the overhaul.
When shake-ups occur I need to stop, be still then take action. To release my hold on the thoughts that identify me with my body and my ego, and I have to begin to give up attack as a way of life and self-preservation. To release the need to fix it...right away. To avoid the discomfort.
Attack does not preserve the Self; it preserves the ego, the false self. It preserves fear, chaos, and conflict. The only way, therefore, to truly find peace and to find "Who I really am" is to put an end to my protection of the false self, and to remember that Spirit got my back. ALWAYS!!
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 20, 2022
Radical Honesty is Kind
Radical honesty is not about punishing yourself or harsh self talk. Rather, it is about calmly bring in contact with your truth. Yung Pueblo
How you talk to yourself in a time of challenge and crisis plays a huge part in how you handle the challenge or crisis. It may sound like a small and simple gesture, however it truly goes a long way.
We can be honest with ourselves with compassion, non judgement and kindness. It is a practice. It is very easy to berate, judge and speak to ourselves in a way that makes us feel even more powerless. There are times when we do need a stern talking to from ourselves, however when it crosses the line to be unkind and judgmental, chances are it will not be a sustainable approach to healing.
Be mindful of how to speak to yourself, be mindful of how you live your truth, be mindful of how you treat yourself. Why? it starts within then goes outside of you to how you live.
Peace
