Joyce M. Stacks's Blog: A Day In The Life of an Aspiring Author ....., page 11
January 18, 2014
Successful Mergers .......
I’m sure this particular terminology means something quite different to most than that to which I am referring. Following is a copied paragraph from the synopsis for my book "A Question of Destiny" …..
"While it’s easy enough to grasp the classic concept embedded within the struggle between good and evil, most people tend to think of this model in terms of a string of unrelated events that occur in and around their everyday lives forcing them to make decisions based upon a need to survive. However, I like to challenge the reader to dig deeper, to go inside themselves in an effort to come to the understanding that the real controversy always occurs from within, as I am certain both good and evil exist in all of us."
I have spent a great deal of time and effort both observing and researching human behavior, first in order to try and successfully calm the more spirited side of myself that in the past has had a proclivity toward self-destructive behaviors and second for the purpose of developing the primary characters in my book. Although the two brothers in my story represent good and evil, light and darkness, I came to realize while writing it, that they are really just manifestations of the same characteristics that reside in all of us …. and I am convinced they are indeed in everyone, though some may protest otherwise.
In Tarot, the Chariot card brings the forces of light and darkness that reside within together so that they may merge and co-exist in a manner in which they are traveling in the same direction at all times rather than expending all their time and energy working against one another. Most spiritualists believe each one of us possesses these two opposing forces within our natures, and that we actually need them in order to achieve balance. When you think about it, it tends to make perfect sense, which is why conversely so many people find themselves at odds when they are expending too much energy denying what is at the core of their existence. While at the opposite end of the spectrum lies the individual who embraces the kind of lifestyle now made famous in "The Fifty Shades of Gray" wherein the desire to incorporate an alternative lifestyle into one's everyday existence is based more upon the primal need to exploit one's darker side as a means of personal expression and fulfillment not necessarily seen as acceptable in conventional society.
However a successful merger is anything but easy, as it requires enormous control in order for one character not to dominate the other, which naturally results in the kind of overt behavior even most "lifestyle enthusiasts" might consider deviant, such as those behaviors that can strip one of their much needed self-esteem and basic morality, inevitably leading to a damaged psyche. In addition to control, confidence and motivation are also needed to complete the process. Confidence one is traveling on the right path, and a clear targeted motivation to become your best self. Once one masters the control needed not to allow fear or insecurity to dominate their actions, then he or she will have accomplished an effective amalgamation.
"While it’s easy enough to grasp the classic concept embedded within the struggle between good and evil, most people tend to think of this model in terms of a string of unrelated events that occur in and around their everyday lives forcing them to make decisions based upon a need to survive. However, I like to challenge the reader to dig deeper, to go inside themselves in an effort to come to the understanding that the real controversy always occurs from within, as I am certain both good and evil exist in all of us."
I have spent a great deal of time and effort both observing and researching human behavior, first in order to try and successfully calm the more spirited side of myself that in the past has had a proclivity toward self-destructive behaviors and second for the purpose of developing the primary characters in my book. Although the two brothers in my story represent good and evil, light and darkness, I came to realize while writing it, that they are really just manifestations of the same characteristics that reside in all of us …. and I am convinced they are indeed in everyone, though some may protest otherwise.
In Tarot, the Chariot card brings the forces of light and darkness that reside within together so that they may merge and co-exist in a manner in which they are traveling in the same direction at all times rather than expending all their time and energy working against one another. Most spiritualists believe each one of us possesses these two opposing forces within our natures, and that we actually need them in order to achieve balance. When you think about it, it tends to make perfect sense, which is why conversely so many people find themselves at odds when they are expending too much energy denying what is at the core of their existence. While at the opposite end of the spectrum lies the individual who embraces the kind of lifestyle now made famous in "The Fifty Shades of Gray" wherein the desire to incorporate an alternative lifestyle into one's everyday existence is based more upon the primal need to exploit one's darker side as a means of personal expression and fulfillment not necessarily seen as acceptable in conventional society.
However a successful merger is anything but easy, as it requires enormous control in order for one character not to dominate the other, which naturally results in the kind of overt behavior even most "lifestyle enthusiasts" might consider deviant, such as those behaviors that can strip one of their much needed self-esteem and basic morality, inevitably leading to a damaged psyche. In addition to control, confidence and motivation are also needed to complete the process. Confidence one is traveling on the right path, and a clear targeted motivation to become your best self. Once one masters the control needed not to allow fear or insecurity to dominate their actions, then he or she will have accomplished an effective amalgamation.
January 16, 2014
Defcon for Dating & Relationships ......
according to President John F. Kennedy ………
"There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less
than long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction."
As defined the term Defcon means ‘defense readiness condition’ in which there are five distinct levels of military preparedness with the number 5 being of least concern while the number one is considered most severe. Developed in 1960 by the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the five levels are signified as follows:
Level 5 = Blue = FADE OUT – The Lowest Concern
Level 4 = Green = DOUBLE TAKE – Increased Intelligence
Level 3 = Yellow = ROUND HOUSE – Increase in Force Readiness
Level 2 = Red = FAST PACE – Next Step to Nuclear War
Level 1= White = COCKED PISTOL – Nuclear War Imminent
To further put it in perspective, during the attacks on the Pentagon and the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001 we only made Defcon 3; however, during the Kennedy administration’s Cuban Missile Crisis, we actually made it to Defcon 2 ….. pretty scary when you think about it, but also ingeniously effective in terms of the key players knowing exactly what is expected of them.
Now if we were to reduce those global concerns down to our most intimate relationships and come up with a similar system for communication with our significant others, think how much simpler life could be for both men and women. In his enormously successful book ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’ author John Gray suggested, and I paraphrase, ‘men are motivated when they feel needed, while women are motivated when they feel cherished’ and ‘to love someone is to acknowledge the goodness of who they are’. It all sounds simple enough in concept, so why do we keep stumbling all over ourselves in an effort to try and make it all work out?
It seems to me just the simple understanding that men and women are ‘different’ is not enough to get us where we need to be in terms of what should be our most important relationship, the one we are all supposed to be able to count on even when everything else goes wrong. Therefore, I can’t help believing it all comes down to communication. It’s almost like learning to read ….. once you have the necessary tools and understanding of how to make sense of all the words on a page, then endless possibilities begin to stream through your consciousness as you begin to grow and mature in a world that often moves at warp speed.
The speed required to make it through any given day seems to be a major contributing factor to the lack of communication between couples. For the most part, there simply isn’t enough time to sit down and converse in a meaningful way often enough while still managing to meet the growing demands outside of your relationship. As a result, I propose a clear but concise kind of ‘early warning system’ wherein women – the greatest communicators of all – could at least let the men in their lives know how to prioritize their time in terms of acting responsibly toward protecting and maintaining their most prized personal relationship.
Emulating NORAD’s Defcon system, I suggest the following:
Level 5 = Blue = LAISSEZ-FAIRE– No Concerns; letting things take their own course
Level 4 = Green = WEDGE HEELS – The need for increased attention or suffer a possible fall
Level 3 = Yellow = PLAN OF ACTION – Communicate what is required in order to avert possible problems
Level 2 = Red = FALSE PRESUMPTION – It’s foolish to think everything is okay; time to weigh all your possible options
Level 1= White = COMFORTABLE INACTION – There is no safety in maintaining unlimited hubristic ideology; the relationship has run aground
We leave post-it notes all over the place to prop up our memories, and some of us even place a ‘clean’ and ‘dirty’ magnets on our dishwashers to eliminate the time needed to check it out for ourselves. Think of the time and aggravation we could save ourselves and our mates if we had big, bold magnetic discs we could place on our refrigerators to let our men know just where we stand on any given day. Knowing just how inefficient our government can be, if they can make a Defcon system work then I think women could do the same. After all, there is no greater motivation than potential happiness.
"There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less
than long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction."
As defined the term Defcon means ‘defense readiness condition’ in which there are five distinct levels of military preparedness with the number 5 being of least concern while the number one is considered most severe. Developed in 1960 by the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the five levels are signified as follows:
Level 5 = Blue = FADE OUT – The Lowest Concern
Level 4 = Green = DOUBLE TAKE – Increased Intelligence
Level 3 = Yellow = ROUND HOUSE – Increase in Force Readiness
Level 2 = Red = FAST PACE – Next Step to Nuclear War
Level 1= White = COCKED PISTOL – Nuclear War Imminent
To further put it in perspective, during the attacks on the Pentagon and the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001 we only made Defcon 3; however, during the Kennedy administration’s Cuban Missile Crisis, we actually made it to Defcon 2 ….. pretty scary when you think about it, but also ingeniously effective in terms of the key players knowing exactly what is expected of them.
Now if we were to reduce those global concerns down to our most intimate relationships and come up with a similar system for communication with our significant others, think how much simpler life could be for both men and women. In his enormously successful book ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’ author John Gray suggested, and I paraphrase, ‘men are motivated when they feel needed, while women are motivated when they feel cherished’ and ‘to love someone is to acknowledge the goodness of who they are’. It all sounds simple enough in concept, so why do we keep stumbling all over ourselves in an effort to try and make it all work out?
It seems to me just the simple understanding that men and women are ‘different’ is not enough to get us where we need to be in terms of what should be our most important relationship, the one we are all supposed to be able to count on even when everything else goes wrong. Therefore, I can’t help believing it all comes down to communication. It’s almost like learning to read ….. once you have the necessary tools and understanding of how to make sense of all the words on a page, then endless possibilities begin to stream through your consciousness as you begin to grow and mature in a world that often moves at warp speed.
The speed required to make it through any given day seems to be a major contributing factor to the lack of communication between couples. For the most part, there simply isn’t enough time to sit down and converse in a meaningful way often enough while still managing to meet the growing demands outside of your relationship. As a result, I propose a clear but concise kind of ‘early warning system’ wherein women – the greatest communicators of all – could at least let the men in their lives know how to prioritize their time in terms of acting responsibly toward protecting and maintaining their most prized personal relationship.
Emulating NORAD’s Defcon system, I suggest the following:
Level 5 = Blue = LAISSEZ-FAIRE– No Concerns; letting things take their own course
Level 4 = Green = WEDGE HEELS – The need for increased attention or suffer a possible fall
Level 3 = Yellow = PLAN OF ACTION – Communicate what is required in order to avert possible problems
Level 2 = Red = FALSE PRESUMPTION – It’s foolish to think everything is okay; time to weigh all your possible options
Level 1= White = COMFORTABLE INACTION – There is no safety in maintaining unlimited hubristic ideology; the relationship has run aground
We leave post-it notes all over the place to prop up our memories, and some of us even place a ‘clean’ and ‘dirty’ magnets on our dishwashers to eliminate the time needed to check it out for ourselves. Think of the time and aggravation we could save ourselves and our mates if we had big, bold magnetic discs we could place on our refrigerators to let our men know just where we stand on any given day. Knowing just how inefficient our government can be, if they can make a Defcon system work then I think women could do the same. After all, there is no greater motivation than potential happiness.
January 15, 2014
The Impact of Feudalism .......
Throughout history when it comes to my relationships with men, I’ve often wondered what makes me behave the way I do at certain times. For the most part, I’m generally laid back and agreeable with a natural tendency toward nurturing and doting over the ones I love, but the moment I start feeling a little neglected, perhaps even unappreciated, my alter ego emerges and I become the antithesis of nice, otherwise known as the b-word. Then usually with cell phone in hand or with my fingers gracefully poised over my keyboard, words combine in a manner best described as a verbal assault designed to bring my perceived opponent to his knees …. or at least enlighten him as to the gross error of his ways.
As the arguments pour forth from my brain as if divinely inspired, I am reminded of an editor who once told me, “You do your best writing when you’re upset,” and I realize once again he was true in his assertion, which further serves to fuel my passionate fires. Then at that fateful moment just prior to pressing send I get this sudden pain from deep inside my psyche as my ego dares to raise a protest, “Do you really think this is a good idea?”
Then like a sudden slap on the face my alter-ego shouts, “Yes!” and off the document goes as if accompanied by a hail of gunfire. Now pumped from an overwhelming sense of having successfully lateraled my relationship stress back onto my opponent where it belongs, I retire someplace comfortable with an adult beverage in hand where I can wait for my blood pressure to return somewhere near normal while I patiently seek the sign signaled by the blinking blue light on my cell phone indicating my offensive has brought about the desired result in the form of an apologetic text or email. Oftentimes a courteous reply is indeed forthcoming, but when my considerable efforts fail to yield accordingly, I’m left to emotionally implode wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
There is no doubt I am shaped by my former husband's abandonment, as well as work-related situations forcing lengthy separations from two other men with whom I have been romantically involved, but it's unfair to continually project the sins of others onto someone new who is nothing like any of them, but rather far superior to all of them combined. As hard as I've tried to let go of the past - and I have - I suppose I must come to terms with the fact it continues to haunt me on some level. But I want to let it go, and as a result I am committed to working much harder on that effort going forward.
However there is another reason I'm afraid might be even more difficult to overcome in that it is a tendency that is socialized into every little girl from the time we are very young. Stories based in medieval times herald the valor of being the caliber of woman any worthy man would be willing to "fight for" and I don't necessarily imply rolling up one's sleeves to throw punches, but rather be willing to go outside his comfort zone or against seemingly insurmountable odds in order to win the favor of the woman he loves. It is even at the center of every Walt Disney tale from Cinderella to Lady and the Tramp to more modern stories like Tangled. Robin hood fought for Maid Marian, Lancelot for Queen Guinevere and Romeo for Juliet ...... going all the way back to the ultimate war for a woman's affection centered around Helen of Troy and the ensuing war that raged on for a total of ten years.
Sometimes we girls - particularly when we're feeling a little disregarded - think the best way for a man to prove his love is illustrated in his willingness to fight for her. As childish as this may sound - particularly to men who are not ruled by thier emotions - it applies to every woman I’ve known at some point over the years ..... myself included. What greater impact can there be when a true Alpha male sets aside his own agenda to see to the needs of his woman? It cannot help but impress and serve to win her heart all over again. On the other hand a man might think that's rewarding bad behavior, but everyone - male and female - requires an occasional "declaration of love" that once gained will serve to make everything right with the world again.
As the arguments pour forth from my brain as if divinely inspired, I am reminded of an editor who once told me, “You do your best writing when you’re upset,” and I realize once again he was true in his assertion, which further serves to fuel my passionate fires. Then at that fateful moment just prior to pressing send I get this sudden pain from deep inside my psyche as my ego dares to raise a protest, “Do you really think this is a good idea?”
Then like a sudden slap on the face my alter-ego shouts, “Yes!” and off the document goes as if accompanied by a hail of gunfire. Now pumped from an overwhelming sense of having successfully lateraled my relationship stress back onto my opponent where it belongs, I retire someplace comfortable with an adult beverage in hand where I can wait for my blood pressure to return somewhere near normal while I patiently seek the sign signaled by the blinking blue light on my cell phone indicating my offensive has brought about the desired result in the form of an apologetic text or email. Oftentimes a courteous reply is indeed forthcoming, but when my considerable efforts fail to yield accordingly, I’m left to emotionally implode wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
There is no doubt I am shaped by my former husband's abandonment, as well as work-related situations forcing lengthy separations from two other men with whom I have been romantically involved, but it's unfair to continually project the sins of others onto someone new who is nothing like any of them, but rather far superior to all of them combined. As hard as I've tried to let go of the past - and I have - I suppose I must come to terms with the fact it continues to haunt me on some level. But I want to let it go, and as a result I am committed to working much harder on that effort going forward.
However there is another reason I'm afraid might be even more difficult to overcome in that it is a tendency that is socialized into every little girl from the time we are very young. Stories based in medieval times herald the valor of being the caliber of woman any worthy man would be willing to "fight for" and I don't necessarily imply rolling up one's sleeves to throw punches, but rather be willing to go outside his comfort zone or against seemingly insurmountable odds in order to win the favor of the woman he loves. It is even at the center of every Walt Disney tale from Cinderella to Lady and the Tramp to more modern stories like Tangled. Robin hood fought for Maid Marian, Lancelot for Queen Guinevere and Romeo for Juliet ...... going all the way back to the ultimate war for a woman's affection centered around Helen of Troy and the ensuing war that raged on for a total of ten years.
Sometimes we girls - particularly when we're feeling a little disregarded - think the best way for a man to prove his love is illustrated in his willingness to fight for her. As childish as this may sound - particularly to men who are not ruled by thier emotions - it applies to every woman I’ve known at some point over the years ..... myself included. What greater impact can there be when a true Alpha male sets aside his own agenda to see to the needs of his woman? It cannot help but impress and serve to win her heart all over again. On the other hand a man might think that's rewarding bad behavior, but everyone - male and female - requires an occasional "declaration of love" that once gained will serve to make everything right with the world again.
January 6, 2014
Frozen ........
It is cold out …. very cold, and if you turn on the news you find it’s even colder elsewhere. As I walked across the front yard to retrieve the morning paper, the ground crunched beneath my feet like crisp breakfast cereal poured fresh from a new box. I wave a gloved hand in front of my face to clear the thin veil of smoke emanating from my bare, chapped lips and I hear, “Screech!” just above my head. Looking up in the clear blue sky I see birds trace an invisible path some distance above me and I thought, “If this is where you flew to escape winter from up north, then the joke was on you.” But then this is the South, and it’s supposed to be warm here. As Southerners, we all tend to have a naturally strong constitution, because circumstances over the course of decades have bred it into us in a Darwinesque fashion as a means to survive, fit and strong in a region that has had more than its share of struggles and strife throughout history. Then as I endeavored to put on my fourth layer this morning prior to leaving the house for the day, I wondered where Al Gore currently resided in his thinking with respect to his theory on global warming right now, which made me yearn for the light bulbs I so love that much more. I swear if I had the means, I’d go buy up every last remaining Edison-inspired bulb before they were forever gone, but I digress …..
It would seem it’s never a good idea to be frozen under any circumstances, whether that be maintaining a certain ‘look’ for far too long, as in ‘frozen in time’ or to suffer paralysis in the form of being ‘frozen in fear’. If one is a proud member of the working class, they certainly don’t want their wages frozen, conversely if a person happens to be searching for a job, then a ‘hiring freeze’ is never welcomed news either.
When I was a little girl and insisted on playing with my siblings and neighbor’s children outside in this kind of weather right up until my lips turned blue, my mother would shout from the warmth just inside the front door, “Get in here before you freeze your tail off!” Or even worse, “freeze to death,” but that never did actually happen. My tail – such that it is – is still firmly intact, and I’m here today to write this blog thereby serving to prove these were just unfounded theories. In addition, we kids were also sternly warned never to walk on a frozen pond, lest we be unfortunately surprised that the ice was not thick enough to support our weight, thereby serving to endanger our very lives.
To be ‘frozen out of a conversation’ is an altogether different kind of pain no one wishes to suffer, causing feelings of insecurity to take hold within one’s mind that can last for years, and to feel frozen in a bad relationship with no clear direction in which to turn is something so many of us have had to endure at some point in life. Last of all waiting on ‘hell to freeze over’ is never a good idea as it just seems to take too long, and who has that kind of time? So what is one to do when they’re suffering from having been frozen in any regard? For me that would have to take the form of courage, to be brave enough to blast past the constrictions we place around ourselves in order to protect our pride that we may venture down the “Road Less Traveled” in order to seek a more comfortable place to reside where we can actually be happy, feel safe, enjoy love and experience the kind of warmth that gives comfort even on the coldest of days, because in the end, it is the only thing that will survive the test of time.
It would seem it’s never a good idea to be frozen under any circumstances, whether that be maintaining a certain ‘look’ for far too long, as in ‘frozen in time’ or to suffer paralysis in the form of being ‘frozen in fear’. If one is a proud member of the working class, they certainly don’t want their wages frozen, conversely if a person happens to be searching for a job, then a ‘hiring freeze’ is never welcomed news either.
When I was a little girl and insisted on playing with my siblings and neighbor’s children outside in this kind of weather right up until my lips turned blue, my mother would shout from the warmth just inside the front door, “Get in here before you freeze your tail off!” Or even worse, “freeze to death,” but that never did actually happen. My tail – such that it is – is still firmly intact, and I’m here today to write this blog thereby serving to prove these were just unfounded theories. In addition, we kids were also sternly warned never to walk on a frozen pond, lest we be unfortunately surprised that the ice was not thick enough to support our weight, thereby serving to endanger our very lives.
To be ‘frozen out of a conversation’ is an altogether different kind of pain no one wishes to suffer, causing feelings of insecurity to take hold within one’s mind that can last for years, and to feel frozen in a bad relationship with no clear direction in which to turn is something so many of us have had to endure at some point in life. Last of all waiting on ‘hell to freeze over’ is never a good idea as it just seems to take too long, and who has that kind of time? So what is one to do when they’re suffering from having been frozen in any regard? For me that would have to take the form of courage, to be brave enough to blast past the constrictions we place around ourselves in order to protect our pride that we may venture down the “Road Less Traveled” in order to seek a more comfortable place to reside where we can actually be happy, feel safe, enjoy love and experience the kind of warmth that gives comfort even on the coldest of days, because in the end, it is the only thing that will survive the test of time.
January 2, 2014
Ode To "Gray Kitty" ........
Yesterday was – for the most part – exactly what I had planned with that being a day of rest. New Year’s Day for the past several years has tended to be a quiet one for me. Still catching up on rest from the holidays, I like to spend it cooking a traditional meal of black-eyed peas and kale. Hopefully the peas offer up “luck” while the kale, or some form of greens down south, offer up “money” for the coming year. The balance of the afternoon is spent thinking about what I hope to accomplish during the course of the coming year during my brief respite from ordinary life. I know other parts of the country’s traditions may differ, but this is how we do it down around these parts.
I also hope every year will begin on a positive note, but such was not the case yesterday. My family lost “Gray Kitty” yesterday following several months where his old body just began to wither away. We weren’t sure exactly how old he was, because he just showed up one day many years ago and consequently never left ….. as has been the case with a number of family pets over the years. However, my estimate would put him somewhere between the ages of 15 – 20 human years old.
I know dog lovers like to boast that cats are too independent and lack the warmth otherwise displayed by dogs, and for the most part this is true, but you have to understand cats in order to know how to fully appreciate them, as well as how to love them and recognize how they love you. Cats are not needy, and if you mistreat them, they will happily abandon you for a more favorable abode, which is smarter than most people I know. They do not pine away and grieve for you when you leave your house, and they will not meet you at the door wagging their tails when you return, but I had one cat, “Little Jazzman” who instinctively knew each time I was worried or upset, and during those times he would insist on sleeping on the same pillow where I lay my head. When the stressful period ended, he would go back to his preferred sleeping arrangement. When they’re particularly happy with you, they like to head-butt you, curl up in your lap or make love to your calves while you prepare their dinner, and when you brush them, they will plop down and roll around signifying their obvious approval. Excellent hunters by nature, they do not eat their prey, but proudly deposit it at your doorstep as if presenting their monarch with a prized trophy for your trophy case.
While all of my animals over the years have been indoor/outdoor pets up until a couple of months ago, Gray Kitty actually preferred outdoors. He patrolled the grounds by day running off any foreign intruders, and insisted upon getting in front of the car as it came up the drive in order to lead it into the garage. On warm days he slept in the direct sunlight often perched on an automobile, and on cold winter days he slept in the storage room with a nightlight and a space heater. For years – because he wouldn’t let anyone get close to him – we actually thought he was female, but subsequently found out otherwise. Fiercely independent, he was hard to get to know and didn’t accept affection freely, but once he let you into his world, you were gold, as was evidenced by his audible purring sounds and his refusal to let you pass without gently tapping you on the head or leg depending upon his vantage point.
Late last summer he ran inside the house when the yard worker’s leaf-blower fired up, and from that point on he never wanted to go back outside. It was as if he had experienced an epiphany ….life on the inside was good, and he wasn’t about to go back outside. However, the transition was not without its difficulties. He disappeared for two full days and just when we’d all but convinced ourselves he had gotten out and gone off to die, I heard the faint sound of a “meow” coming from underneath the kitchen sink and found him holed up in a cabinet. Once released, he drank a lot of water, ate a good meal and then took his usual spot up on the back of the sofa, no worse for the wear.
Somehow he became a “different cat” on the inside ….. he loved everybody and relished the attention they gave him ….. even the overly enthusiastic 5-year-old Isabella didn’t deter his efforts at getting affection, but soon afterwards it became apparent he wasn’t just old, he was sick. Despite maintaining a healthy, almost voracious appetite, weight started falling off of him at a rapid rate, exposing his protruding hip bones and eventually his ribs. We thought about taking him to the vet, but that wouldn’t have been what he wanted. At his age exhaustive tests and invasive examinations would have stolen his spirit and whatever quality of life he had left. Although, Mom and I made a solemn vow, should he begin to suffer, we would be forced to otherwise take action.
So for a couple of months we coddled and babied him giving him whatever he wanted to eat or drink, regular brushings and plenty of affection to go around. However yesterday he took a very bad turn as he stopped eating, his breathing became very labored and at one point he even began convulsing up liquid that was dark brownish-black in color. It was apparent he was hemorrhaging, and there was nothing that could be done. So for his last hours, he was stroked and brushed, and spoken to lovingly. Mom and I made him as comfortable as possible and allowed him to die on his terms and with dignity. He passed around midnight.
I patted his cold, lifeless body one more time this morning, as I instructed Mom who she needed to call to deal with his remains. He is buried on our property next to the dog he loved as much as we all did, and I like to think of he and “Gabby” nosing around the yard same as they used to with “Gray Kitty” nuzzling his head into her face as she focuses her attention just beyond him.
We’ll miss Gray the same way we do all of them – our once beloved pets – who have consented to give us comfort when for whatever reason the rest of the world seemed to turn away. For those of us who love animals like we do, it’s never been the relationship between a master and his dog or cat, but rather just members of the same quirky family who manage to accept one another for who we are and love us in spite of ourselves. Together we bring out the best in one another, and I don’t think I’m alone in believing we will all see each other again one day. In the meantime life goes on for all of us who have loved and lost, knowing only time will make it easier.
I also hope every year will begin on a positive note, but such was not the case yesterday. My family lost “Gray Kitty” yesterday following several months where his old body just began to wither away. We weren’t sure exactly how old he was, because he just showed up one day many years ago and consequently never left ….. as has been the case with a number of family pets over the years. However, my estimate would put him somewhere between the ages of 15 – 20 human years old.
I know dog lovers like to boast that cats are too independent and lack the warmth otherwise displayed by dogs, and for the most part this is true, but you have to understand cats in order to know how to fully appreciate them, as well as how to love them and recognize how they love you. Cats are not needy, and if you mistreat them, they will happily abandon you for a more favorable abode, which is smarter than most people I know. They do not pine away and grieve for you when you leave your house, and they will not meet you at the door wagging their tails when you return, but I had one cat, “Little Jazzman” who instinctively knew each time I was worried or upset, and during those times he would insist on sleeping on the same pillow where I lay my head. When the stressful period ended, he would go back to his preferred sleeping arrangement. When they’re particularly happy with you, they like to head-butt you, curl up in your lap or make love to your calves while you prepare their dinner, and when you brush them, they will plop down and roll around signifying their obvious approval. Excellent hunters by nature, they do not eat their prey, but proudly deposit it at your doorstep as if presenting their monarch with a prized trophy for your trophy case.
While all of my animals over the years have been indoor/outdoor pets up until a couple of months ago, Gray Kitty actually preferred outdoors. He patrolled the grounds by day running off any foreign intruders, and insisted upon getting in front of the car as it came up the drive in order to lead it into the garage. On warm days he slept in the direct sunlight often perched on an automobile, and on cold winter days he slept in the storage room with a nightlight and a space heater. For years – because he wouldn’t let anyone get close to him – we actually thought he was female, but subsequently found out otherwise. Fiercely independent, he was hard to get to know and didn’t accept affection freely, but once he let you into his world, you were gold, as was evidenced by his audible purring sounds and his refusal to let you pass without gently tapping you on the head or leg depending upon his vantage point.
Late last summer he ran inside the house when the yard worker’s leaf-blower fired up, and from that point on he never wanted to go back outside. It was as if he had experienced an epiphany ….life on the inside was good, and he wasn’t about to go back outside. However, the transition was not without its difficulties. He disappeared for two full days and just when we’d all but convinced ourselves he had gotten out and gone off to die, I heard the faint sound of a “meow” coming from underneath the kitchen sink and found him holed up in a cabinet. Once released, he drank a lot of water, ate a good meal and then took his usual spot up on the back of the sofa, no worse for the wear.
Somehow he became a “different cat” on the inside ….. he loved everybody and relished the attention they gave him ….. even the overly enthusiastic 5-year-old Isabella didn’t deter his efforts at getting affection, but soon afterwards it became apparent he wasn’t just old, he was sick. Despite maintaining a healthy, almost voracious appetite, weight started falling off of him at a rapid rate, exposing his protruding hip bones and eventually his ribs. We thought about taking him to the vet, but that wouldn’t have been what he wanted. At his age exhaustive tests and invasive examinations would have stolen his spirit and whatever quality of life he had left. Although, Mom and I made a solemn vow, should he begin to suffer, we would be forced to otherwise take action.
So for a couple of months we coddled and babied him giving him whatever he wanted to eat or drink, regular brushings and plenty of affection to go around. However yesterday he took a very bad turn as he stopped eating, his breathing became very labored and at one point he even began convulsing up liquid that was dark brownish-black in color. It was apparent he was hemorrhaging, and there was nothing that could be done. So for his last hours, he was stroked and brushed, and spoken to lovingly. Mom and I made him as comfortable as possible and allowed him to die on his terms and with dignity. He passed around midnight.
I patted his cold, lifeless body one more time this morning, as I instructed Mom who she needed to call to deal with his remains. He is buried on our property next to the dog he loved as much as we all did, and I like to think of he and “Gabby” nosing around the yard same as they used to with “Gray Kitty” nuzzling his head into her face as she focuses her attention just beyond him.
We’ll miss Gray the same way we do all of them – our once beloved pets – who have consented to give us comfort when for whatever reason the rest of the world seemed to turn away. For those of us who love animals like we do, it’s never been the relationship between a master and his dog or cat, but rather just members of the same quirky family who manage to accept one another for who we are and love us in spite of ourselves. Together we bring out the best in one another, and I don’t think I’m alone in believing we will all see each other again one day. In the meantime life goes on for all of us who have loved and lost, knowing only time will make it easier.
January 1, 2014
One Word .......
With the past year now safely laid to rest, I woke to a cool, bright sunny morning ushering in the first day of a new year. I had previously decided to set aside this day for some much-needed rest, but with so many hopes and possibilities lined up for the coming year, it is easier said than done. Times past my day would have been formulated around entertaining and important football games, but since Dad no longer watches the games, I don’t either. To do so would just be a sad reminder of that which is permanently lost to the mechanics of an aging mind. Football is a game most enjoyed with like-minded individuals who root for the same teams and competitive, however friendly rivals who occasionally end up in the same room. My life is ‘quieter’ now, steeped in introspection and the ongoing search for deeper meaning. However, I know one day this will undoubtedly change – as life often does – and thus it will become nosier once again. Therefore, in the meantime I intend to enjoy this current phase while it lasts.
While enjoying my second cup of chai tea this morning, I watched a segment on the Today Show which featured a new book I found intriguing. It’s titled “One Word That Will Change Your Life” by authors Jon Gordon, Dan Britton and Jimmy Page. Gordon’s previous bestsellers have been put to the test by numerous coaches and athletes of professional teams, as well as Fortune 500 companies, school districts, hospitals and non-profits to name a few, while both Britton and Page hold respectable positions connected to the ministry of the Fellowship of Young Christian Athletes. The book’s premise is simple in that it challenges the reader to find one word that will define your thoughts and actions for the coming year as opposed to lists of resolutions that often times fail to take hold.
I’ve often believed the simplest approaches to complex situation is often the most desirable, and if living a life isn’t complex, then I don’t know what is. Words suggested on the book jacket are balance, pure, journey, pray, trust, courage, give, risk, thankful, commitment, generous, opportunity, go, purpose and love. Other words that came across my mind were focus, dreams, reality, clarity, compassion, passion, strength, goals, vision, extend, presence, harmony and consciousness. When you think about it, the list is seemingly endless in terms of the possibilities, and for someone such as myself who has infinite respect for the power found in words, choosing one can be a Herculean task to say the very least, but since my word must include a culmination of all of the words listed above and more, then I choose ‘manifest’ as my word for 2014, as it is the year I intend to fulfill my dreams on both a personal and professional level.
Though challenging in nature, I do think this is an exercise well worth the time and effort to narrow down whatever your list of choices might be to just one word. In so doing, hopefully clarity will emerge in the form of a positive effect on all the important facets of your life from health and fitness to greater mental and emotional stability, healthier relationships with both your fellow man and your creator, perhaps even financial independence, which will result in a more perfected version of who it is you want to become in this life. I can’t think of any better time than the present to address such an important issue than the beginning of this New Year 2014.
While enjoying my second cup of chai tea this morning, I watched a segment on the Today Show which featured a new book I found intriguing. It’s titled “One Word That Will Change Your Life” by authors Jon Gordon, Dan Britton and Jimmy Page. Gordon’s previous bestsellers have been put to the test by numerous coaches and athletes of professional teams, as well as Fortune 500 companies, school districts, hospitals and non-profits to name a few, while both Britton and Page hold respectable positions connected to the ministry of the Fellowship of Young Christian Athletes. The book’s premise is simple in that it challenges the reader to find one word that will define your thoughts and actions for the coming year as opposed to lists of resolutions that often times fail to take hold.
I’ve often believed the simplest approaches to complex situation is often the most desirable, and if living a life isn’t complex, then I don’t know what is. Words suggested on the book jacket are balance, pure, journey, pray, trust, courage, give, risk, thankful, commitment, generous, opportunity, go, purpose and love. Other words that came across my mind were focus, dreams, reality, clarity, compassion, passion, strength, goals, vision, extend, presence, harmony and consciousness. When you think about it, the list is seemingly endless in terms of the possibilities, and for someone such as myself who has infinite respect for the power found in words, choosing one can be a Herculean task to say the very least, but since my word must include a culmination of all of the words listed above and more, then I choose ‘manifest’ as my word for 2014, as it is the year I intend to fulfill my dreams on both a personal and professional level.
Though challenging in nature, I do think this is an exercise well worth the time and effort to narrow down whatever your list of choices might be to just one word. In so doing, hopefully clarity will emerge in the form of a positive effect on all the important facets of your life from health and fitness to greater mental and emotional stability, healthier relationships with both your fellow man and your creator, perhaps even financial independence, which will result in a more perfected version of who it is you want to become in this life. I can’t think of any better time than the present to address such an important issue than the beginning of this New Year 2014.
December 31, 2013
Remembering The Year That Was 2013 ........
As I hunker down ready to take my New Year’s Eve celebration inside my home and far outside the fray, I like so many others, cannot help but consider some of the more prominent stories and events that contributed to shaping this past year. As much as I like to focus on the positive side of things, a couple of stories instantly come to mind that broke my heart and rippled the consciousness of the entire world. Having lived for a brief time in Boston, I am keenly aware of just how important Patriot’s Day is to that city. It is a time of celebration, marked by the running of the world famous Boston Marathon. Bostonians take this day seriously, and they come out in numbers to exhibit their pride in both their city and long-held traditions.
As my eyes focused on the carnage unfolding in front of me on the television screen, I felt such compassion for those killed and injured, as well as their respective families and loved ones. I knew regardless of the statistics, the far-reaching effects would be much greater than the numbers of reported casualties. So many lives would be touched in ways that could’ve never been imagined, superseding the wounds inflicted by two brothers who failed to make a valid point, from selfless acts of bravery to the skill and cunning of those who had presence of mind to act quickly within a state of panic and confusion to save countless wounded from having to pay the ultimate price. The Tsarnaev brothers seriously underestimated just what it meant to be ‘Boston Strong’ with the kind of resilience that dates back to the birth of this nation and forefathers who sought freedom from the kind of oppression that would seek to deny one’s basic human rights. Though Boston will never be the same, it undoubtedly grew stronger in its will to overcome.
Stories like Jodi Arias and George Zimmerman failed to gain much of my attention. The wheels of justice grinded slowly in both cases, and each defendant probably got exactly what they deserved. What troubles me most is how the media creates a kind of ‘dark celebrity’ out of these assailants, by focusing so much attention on the salacious details surrounding these cases and their respective trials rather than advocating for the rights of the victims and their families, or focusing on the lapses within societal thinking that lead to the commission of such crimes in the first place. By the time it’s over, we somehow manage to almost forget two young men lost their lives in brutal, unnecessary fashion. While the two cases have no relation, the public’s fascination bound them together by making them two of the year’s most watched stories. I think it worth noting that while Arias was convicted of murder and Zimmerman walked out of the courthouse a free man, he shall always be confined within the asylum inside his own mind, tortured by his actions on that one fateful night.
Poor Paula Deen …….. did she ever stop crying? She had the courage to admit having made a mistake some twenty years ago during a time when race relations in the south had failed to progress to a level thought to be desirable by today’s standards. She went on to become enormously successful and then was subsequently made to pay and pay she did by losing her program on the Food Network, as well as a number of lucrative endorsements, but I have a feeling Paula will regroup and re-emerge even stronger, not to mention a great deal wiser for having endured her ordeal with a modicum of decency left intact.
However I can’t say the same for the A&E network. What a disappointment. I have to ask myself what does Arts & Entertainment stand for anyhow? For the longest period of time I equated A&E with the ranks of a stations like PBS, Discovery and The History Channel, with quality programming only more profitable, and it seems in the end profit won out over morality. When the patriarch of their highly successful Duck Dynasty spoke out against gays and minorities in a recent interview with GQ magazine, it would have seemed that franchise was doomed. How could anyone in their right mind support such a narrow-minded opinion in this day and age? Haven’t the sacrifices of so many who fought and paid with their lives during the civil rights movement counted for something? What’s next? Do we all don white sheets on our heads and form a club to campaign against any and everyone who doesn’t look or love like we want them to? Freedom of Speech should not equate to freedom to spew hatred and ignorance.
As quasi-celebrities du jour, the members of the Duck Dynasty family carry with them a responsibility same as any other celebrity or entertainer in that their popularity influences others to act and behave in a way designed to emulate their heroes. Therefore hate begets hate as was evidenced by the numerous comments I read on Facebook by supporters of Phil Robertson, who now it seems has also advised men to marry girls at 15 and 16 years of age. For A&E it seems he is the gift that keeps on giving. Considering the network’s recent ill-advised decision to yield to the demands of the ransoming Robertson family by returning their patriarch to the show despite their previously imposed hiatus, it feels like just deserts. The lesson to be learned here is if one is going to promote Arts & Entertainment, then they had better put their money where their mouth is rather than invest in some scripted satire of southern gun-toting duck killers on the rampage.
There were other stories like the civil war in Syria whose death toll has now risen to over 130,000, twelve thousands of which are reported to be women and children, that deserve some serious attention. Assad’s decision to use sarin gas was a direct violation of an accord he agreed to back in 1993, and yet America as a whole stood strong against any direct intervention. I am torn here as well after far too many years in Afghanistan and our most recent involvement in Iraq, I’m ready for our men and women in uniform to return home. Cruelty and injustice is an unfortunate part of our world, and it’s happening all over the globe at any given moment in time. Just as American’s cannot be the world’s police, neither can we solve all of its ills, but we can and do need to focus more strongly on those of us in this nation who turn to their leaders for help with an expectation their voices will be heard.
On an entirely different note, I see Edward Snowden as a slimy little weasel with visions of grandeur when he decided to betray his own country. Despite his informational leaks and the subsequent fall out for the NSA, I for one don’t resent the intrusion upon my privacy as long as I can feel safe in my own home and know my loved ones are being watched over by their government as well. Although we are a free nation, we are a nation who also has enemies, and the best way of exposing threatening cells is through covert action which requires surveillance. To me, if you’ve nothing to hide, then there’s absolutely no reason for concern. In time I pray Mr. Snowden will be brought to proper justice. I’m thinking there’s a cell in Guantanamo with his name on it.
On a much lighter note, for the first time in history we had a sitting Pope resign his post ushering in the reign of a new, inspiring figure by the chosen name of Pope Francis. Mario Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina, like so many luminaries before him, seemed an unlikely candidate and yet an obvious choice. His humility coupled with the kind of love, compassion and sense of poverty exemplified by Jesus makes him the perfect soldier of Christ and Holy See. Given time, I have no doubt he will successfully address the inconsistencies and corruption that have plagued the holy church since its inception, making me believe he truly is the Vicar of Christ.
We also lost an angel on earth this year when 95 year-old Nelson Mandela went home to his Father. A true inspiration, he left this world a little dimmer while making the heavens burn even brighter than before.
Other headlines like ObamaCare and missile threats from out of North Korea that frequented our news this past year will undoubtedly carry over into the next year serving to confirm our suspicions that we continue to live underneath a dark cloud best described as politics as usual. Each respective party will state their case, rally their base and then dig in their heels, determined not to give an inch in the way of progress, thus creating an even greater number of people who fail to believe in the leadership of this nation as evidenced by low voter turn-out. Therefore it is up to the people themselves to become the master of their own destinies in an effort to show the privileged classes in Washington just how it’s done. In a nutshell, if you don’t like something, change it by voting out the incumbents. Only by a show of collective force can real change become possible.
Finally the other story that captivated the world was much sweeter in nature and devoid of negativity. His Royal Highness Prince George (for short) showed the world how a fairytale romance could have a happy ending in real life. Babies, like New Year’s Day, signify a new beginning, a time when each of us can renew our faith in humanity and reach out to our fellow man while still brimming with hopes for a brighter future for all. As we raise our glasses this evening in a toast while attempting to sing the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne, we fondly say farewell to days gone by and turn our faces toward the eternal fountain of life and light where hope will always spring eternal.
Happy New Year ……
As my eyes focused on the carnage unfolding in front of me on the television screen, I felt such compassion for those killed and injured, as well as their respective families and loved ones. I knew regardless of the statistics, the far-reaching effects would be much greater than the numbers of reported casualties. So many lives would be touched in ways that could’ve never been imagined, superseding the wounds inflicted by two brothers who failed to make a valid point, from selfless acts of bravery to the skill and cunning of those who had presence of mind to act quickly within a state of panic and confusion to save countless wounded from having to pay the ultimate price. The Tsarnaev brothers seriously underestimated just what it meant to be ‘Boston Strong’ with the kind of resilience that dates back to the birth of this nation and forefathers who sought freedom from the kind of oppression that would seek to deny one’s basic human rights. Though Boston will never be the same, it undoubtedly grew stronger in its will to overcome.
Stories like Jodi Arias and George Zimmerman failed to gain much of my attention. The wheels of justice grinded slowly in both cases, and each defendant probably got exactly what they deserved. What troubles me most is how the media creates a kind of ‘dark celebrity’ out of these assailants, by focusing so much attention on the salacious details surrounding these cases and their respective trials rather than advocating for the rights of the victims and their families, or focusing on the lapses within societal thinking that lead to the commission of such crimes in the first place. By the time it’s over, we somehow manage to almost forget two young men lost their lives in brutal, unnecessary fashion. While the two cases have no relation, the public’s fascination bound them together by making them two of the year’s most watched stories. I think it worth noting that while Arias was convicted of murder and Zimmerman walked out of the courthouse a free man, he shall always be confined within the asylum inside his own mind, tortured by his actions on that one fateful night.
Poor Paula Deen …….. did she ever stop crying? She had the courage to admit having made a mistake some twenty years ago during a time when race relations in the south had failed to progress to a level thought to be desirable by today’s standards. She went on to become enormously successful and then was subsequently made to pay and pay she did by losing her program on the Food Network, as well as a number of lucrative endorsements, but I have a feeling Paula will regroup and re-emerge even stronger, not to mention a great deal wiser for having endured her ordeal with a modicum of decency left intact.
However I can’t say the same for the A&E network. What a disappointment. I have to ask myself what does Arts & Entertainment stand for anyhow? For the longest period of time I equated A&E with the ranks of a stations like PBS, Discovery and The History Channel, with quality programming only more profitable, and it seems in the end profit won out over morality. When the patriarch of their highly successful Duck Dynasty spoke out against gays and minorities in a recent interview with GQ magazine, it would have seemed that franchise was doomed. How could anyone in their right mind support such a narrow-minded opinion in this day and age? Haven’t the sacrifices of so many who fought and paid with their lives during the civil rights movement counted for something? What’s next? Do we all don white sheets on our heads and form a club to campaign against any and everyone who doesn’t look or love like we want them to? Freedom of Speech should not equate to freedom to spew hatred and ignorance.
As quasi-celebrities du jour, the members of the Duck Dynasty family carry with them a responsibility same as any other celebrity or entertainer in that their popularity influences others to act and behave in a way designed to emulate their heroes. Therefore hate begets hate as was evidenced by the numerous comments I read on Facebook by supporters of Phil Robertson, who now it seems has also advised men to marry girls at 15 and 16 years of age. For A&E it seems he is the gift that keeps on giving. Considering the network’s recent ill-advised decision to yield to the demands of the ransoming Robertson family by returning their patriarch to the show despite their previously imposed hiatus, it feels like just deserts. The lesson to be learned here is if one is going to promote Arts & Entertainment, then they had better put their money where their mouth is rather than invest in some scripted satire of southern gun-toting duck killers on the rampage.
There were other stories like the civil war in Syria whose death toll has now risen to over 130,000, twelve thousands of which are reported to be women and children, that deserve some serious attention. Assad’s decision to use sarin gas was a direct violation of an accord he agreed to back in 1993, and yet America as a whole stood strong against any direct intervention. I am torn here as well after far too many years in Afghanistan and our most recent involvement in Iraq, I’m ready for our men and women in uniform to return home. Cruelty and injustice is an unfortunate part of our world, and it’s happening all over the globe at any given moment in time. Just as American’s cannot be the world’s police, neither can we solve all of its ills, but we can and do need to focus more strongly on those of us in this nation who turn to their leaders for help with an expectation their voices will be heard.
On an entirely different note, I see Edward Snowden as a slimy little weasel with visions of grandeur when he decided to betray his own country. Despite his informational leaks and the subsequent fall out for the NSA, I for one don’t resent the intrusion upon my privacy as long as I can feel safe in my own home and know my loved ones are being watched over by their government as well. Although we are a free nation, we are a nation who also has enemies, and the best way of exposing threatening cells is through covert action which requires surveillance. To me, if you’ve nothing to hide, then there’s absolutely no reason for concern. In time I pray Mr. Snowden will be brought to proper justice. I’m thinking there’s a cell in Guantanamo with his name on it.
On a much lighter note, for the first time in history we had a sitting Pope resign his post ushering in the reign of a new, inspiring figure by the chosen name of Pope Francis. Mario Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina, like so many luminaries before him, seemed an unlikely candidate and yet an obvious choice. His humility coupled with the kind of love, compassion and sense of poverty exemplified by Jesus makes him the perfect soldier of Christ and Holy See. Given time, I have no doubt he will successfully address the inconsistencies and corruption that have plagued the holy church since its inception, making me believe he truly is the Vicar of Christ.
We also lost an angel on earth this year when 95 year-old Nelson Mandela went home to his Father. A true inspiration, he left this world a little dimmer while making the heavens burn even brighter than before.
Other headlines like ObamaCare and missile threats from out of North Korea that frequented our news this past year will undoubtedly carry over into the next year serving to confirm our suspicions that we continue to live underneath a dark cloud best described as politics as usual. Each respective party will state their case, rally their base and then dig in their heels, determined not to give an inch in the way of progress, thus creating an even greater number of people who fail to believe in the leadership of this nation as evidenced by low voter turn-out. Therefore it is up to the people themselves to become the master of their own destinies in an effort to show the privileged classes in Washington just how it’s done. In a nutshell, if you don’t like something, change it by voting out the incumbents. Only by a show of collective force can real change become possible.
Finally the other story that captivated the world was much sweeter in nature and devoid of negativity. His Royal Highness Prince George (for short) showed the world how a fairytale romance could have a happy ending in real life. Babies, like New Year’s Day, signify a new beginning, a time when each of us can renew our faith in humanity and reach out to our fellow man while still brimming with hopes for a brighter future for all. As we raise our glasses this evening in a toast while attempting to sing the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne, we fondly say farewell to days gone by and turn our faces toward the eternal fountain of life and light where hope will always spring eternal.
Happy New Year ……
December 29, 2013
On Breaking Bad .......
As a relaxing treat and gift to myself this past Christmas Day, I began watching the series "Breaking Bad" in order to see what all the hype was about. I know .... not the usual inspiring Christmas tale designed to instill a sense of peace during this 'season of miracles' but for me it was a release from the daily stress I can't seem to stop internalizing, and that has intrinsic value.
It's a little racy to watch with your parents in the room, but none-the-less I decided we are all adults and as such capable of handling it. In case you are unfamiliar, the premise is really quite interesting. The main character, a high school chemistry teacher, has just turned 50 when he’s diagnosed with terminal cancer. With a pregnant wife and a teenage son with special needs, he decides to use his expertise as a chemist to manufacture crystal meth in an effort to stockpile money to leave for his family in the event of his death, which is rather honorable when you think about it.
The series rubs a blotter between black and white to come up with an interesting shade of gray as you actually find yourself pulling for the supposed bad guy – the drug dealer – in an effort to support our most dear core beliefs as Americans inspired by the phrase 'family values' …… i.e. family first. But in so doing, he sheds his timid skin and confronts life’s challenges with a renewed sense of bravado usually reserved for superheroes. In the first episode he beats down a group of jocks who dared ridicule his son in a clothing store and boldly outsmarts would-be murderous hijackers to his new business venture, before going home to make love to his wife as a new man. How refreshing it must be to be able to shed fear as if it were a winter coat no longer needed once the sun has made a bold appearance, thus enabling one to confront each and every situation as it comes with a devil-may-care attitude and in return receive the gift of immediate gratification. I think this will be a brilliant series incumbent with many life’s lessons.
Now inspired, I am committed to releasing my own sense of fear in day-to-day situations wherein I am called upon to swallow my own sense of justice in order not to appear rude. No longer will I endure that person who breaks in line or has the nerve to steel my parking space, or the one who pretends he or she doesn't know cell phone etiquette because their call is uber important, or that person who erroneously feels as if he must voice an opinion on subjects like "Duck Dynasty's" Phil Robertson's comments to "GQ" as if he were speaking for the masses when really he's just spewing extreme right wing hatred of all that is not conservative based propaganda tied to beliefs in intolerance of anyone not perceived as like-minded, while laughing all the way to the bank. Yes, Rush Limbaugh, I've got my sights set for you!
I actually like the concept of instant gratification, if only experienced through this blog. How great could this world be if we as individuals all decided to release the fear of being heard long enough to raise the consciousness of the entire planet? We could all stop looking to Washington to solve all our ills and start doing something about it ourselves. It's often said, "Don't fix it if it ain't broken," but this wonderful place we live in - Planet Earth - is broken in ways that can still be fixed if we only decide to pool our resources and work together toward a common goal of unity, thus refusing to give in to fear until the deed is done.
It's a little racy to watch with your parents in the room, but none-the-less I decided we are all adults and as such capable of handling it. In case you are unfamiliar, the premise is really quite interesting. The main character, a high school chemistry teacher, has just turned 50 when he’s diagnosed with terminal cancer. With a pregnant wife and a teenage son with special needs, he decides to use his expertise as a chemist to manufacture crystal meth in an effort to stockpile money to leave for his family in the event of his death, which is rather honorable when you think about it.
The series rubs a blotter between black and white to come up with an interesting shade of gray as you actually find yourself pulling for the supposed bad guy – the drug dealer – in an effort to support our most dear core beliefs as Americans inspired by the phrase 'family values' …… i.e. family first. But in so doing, he sheds his timid skin and confronts life’s challenges with a renewed sense of bravado usually reserved for superheroes. In the first episode he beats down a group of jocks who dared ridicule his son in a clothing store and boldly outsmarts would-be murderous hijackers to his new business venture, before going home to make love to his wife as a new man. How refreshing it must be to be able to shed fear as if it were a winter coat no longer needed once the sun has made a bold appearance, thus enabling one to confront each and every situation as it comes with a devil-may-care attitude and in return receive the gift of immediate gratification. I think this will be a brilliant series incumbent with many life’s lessons.
Now inspired, I am committed to releasing my own sense of fear in day-to-day situations wherein I am called upon to swallow my own sense of justice in order not to appear rude. No longer will I endure that person who breaks in line or has the nerve to steel my parking space, or the one who pretends he or she doesn't know cell phone etiquette because their call is uber important, or that person who erroneously feels as if he must voice an opinion on subjects like "Duck Dynasty's" Phil Robertson's comments to "GQ" as if he were speaking for the masses when really he's just spewing extreme right wing hatred of all that is not conservative based propaganda tied to beliefs in intolerance of anyone not perceived as like-minded, while laughing all the way to the bank. Yes, Rush Limbaugh, I've got my sights set for you!
I actually like the concept of instant gratification, if only experienced through this blog. How great could this world be if we as individuals all decided to release the fear of being heard long enough to raise the consciousness of the entire planet? We could all stop looking to Washington to solve all our ills and start doing something about it ourselves. It's often said, "Don't fix it if it ain't broken," but this wonderful place we live in - Planet Earth - is broken in ways that can still be fixed if we only decide to pool our resources and work together toward a common goal of unity, thus refusing to give in to fear until the deed is done.
December 26, 2013
Taking Inventory ........
While most companies I’ve ever been affiliated with suspend business sometime in January in order to take inventory, I tend to do my own personal inventory during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. What better time? The pace of life dwindles down from the mad dash that heralds Christmas to a steady crawl post Yule usually devoted to returns and exchanges, sale shopping for post-holiday bargains and making one’s way back home for those of us who have traveled to a desired destination.
I usually devote some of the quiet time leading up to the anticipation of the ball drop to thinking about what I’ve accomplished over the past year, as well as what I hope to achieve in the coming year. I don’t usually waste much time beating myself up over the things I’ve failed to do, because that usually meant that life intervened in some fashion, thus forcing a change of plans. The year, 2013, certainly brought about change in my life – most of which couldn’t possibly have been anticipated.
I regretfully ended a two-year relationship that was supposed to have ended in marriage versus another painful break-up, but that change was necessary, because investing any more energy in a relationship that failed to produce the kind of simpatico necessary to sustain a marriage over time was a sin I was unwilling to commit. On the flip side I re-connected with , my former love interest, and now he holds my heart hopelessly captive especially during those moments when we speak in terms of sharing a life together under one roof. Thus the passion that had receded during my time with Charles has once again been reawakened and is now burning bright within me waiting for such time when it can be released in a healthy manner.
I’ve changed residences ….. again! And now I’m back at Mom & Dad’s waiting for that moment when it’s time to move on. It hasn’t been an altogether bad experience, as I’ve grown even closer to my parents and have been able to help them in their ongoing struggles with aging. One day I will leave them once more, but in having been here I’ll at least know what kind of help they require, and when the time is right I’ll help them secure the assistance they need.
I’ve finished and published two books ….. okay on Amazon, which is not exactly Simon & Schuster, but it’s a start and an accomplishment I’m proud of having made. I’ve also started a blog and am about to take that effort to the next level hopefully by this weekend with the goal being to create my own domain and garner a larger audience via WordPress.
The more I narrow my focus and concentrate on what I want to do versus what I’ve failed to do, I realize I have less stress in my life and am experiencing more and more contentment overall. As I point my dreams toward 2014, I now know what it is I hope to do in the next year ……. I want to continue to work toward strengthening the bond I have re-established with you, because as long as you are in my life you will always rank at the top of my list. I want to write 2 more books with the first being Part II of my fictional series titled The Hidden Revelation. This isn’t going to be difficult, as I already have 675 pages of rough draft that just needs another pass or two in order to polish it up for publication. I also want to write another semi-autobiographical piece to follow Going Through The Change in which I talk about my continued quest for personal fulfillment and finding love post fifty. And finally as I’ve already stated, I want to kick my blogging up a notch by treating it as if it were a syndicated column. The kinds of issues and topics I want to address are those designed to raise consciousness, as well as continue to kick stereotypes and prejudices in the ass, women’s issues and embracing change as both a necessary component to life which can also be very exciting. I want to continue to expand my knowledge base in an effort to explore life’s greatest mysteries, and finally I want to lose ten pounds.
I know that whatever life brings in the next year the only guarantee is it will be different one year from now when I’m contemplating this same topic once again. Change can be difficult, as it never seems to be the path of least resistance, but then stagnation isn’t exactly desirable either. Continued growth and learning, creating the kind of experiences you want to commit to memory, and drawing the people who support your dreams ever closer so that you may repay them by supporting theirs are the benchmarks I endeavor to achieve. I look forward to 2014 with great anticipation grateful for all that I have while still being hungry for that much more. I can't help but feel by putting this out there in the Universe I am but one step closer.
Happy New Year!!!
I usually devote some of the quiet time leading up to the anticipation of the ball drop to thinking about what I’ve accomplished over the past year, as well as what I hope to achieve in the coming year. I don’t usually waste much time beating myself up over the things I’ve failed to do, because that usually meant that life intervened in some fashion, thus forcing a change of plans. The year, 2013, certainly brought about change in my life – most of which couldn’t possibly have been anticipated.
I regretfully ended a two-year relationship that was supposed to have ended in marriage versus another painful break-up, but that change was necessary, because investing any more energy in a relationship that failed to produce the kind of simpatico necessary to sustain a marriage over time was a sin I was unwilling to commit. On the flip side I re-connected with , my former love interest, and now he holds my heart hopelessly captive especially during those moments when we speak in terms of sharing a life together under one roof. Thus the passion that had receded during my time with Charles has once again been reawakened and is now burning bright within me waiting for such time when it can be released in a healthy manner.
I’ve changed residences ….. again! And now I’m back at Mom & Dad’s waiting for that moment when it’s time to move on. It hasn’t been an altogether bad experience, as I’ve grown even closer to my parents and have been able to help them in their ongoing struggles with aging. One day I will leave them once more, but in having been here I’ll at least know what kind of help they require, and when the time is right I’ll help them secure the assistance they need.
I’ve finished and published two books ….. okay on Amazon, which is not exactly Simon & Schuster, but it’s a start and an accomplishment I’m proud of having made. I’ve also started a blog and am about to take that effort to the next level hopefully by this weekend with the goal being to create my own domain and garner a larger audience via WordPress.
The more I narrow my focus and concentrate on what I want to do versus what I’ve failed to do, I realize I have less stress in my life and am experiencing more and more contentment overall. As I point my dreams toward 2014, I now know what it is I hope to do in the next year ……. I want to continue to work toward strengthening the bond I have re-established with you, because as long as you are in my life you will always rank at the top of my list. I want to write 2 more books with the first being Part II of my fictional series titled The Hidden Revelation. This isn’t going to be difficult, as I already have 675 pages of rough draft that just needs another pass or two in order to polish it up for publication. I also want to write another semi-autobiographical piece to follow Going Through The Change in which I talk about my continued quest for personal fulfillment and finding love post fifty. And finally as I’ve already stated, I want to kick my blogging up a notch by treating it as if it were a syndicated column. The kinds of issues and topics I want to address are those designed to raise consciousness, as well as continue to kick stereotypes and prejudices in the ass, women’s issues and embracing change as both a necessary component to life which can also be very exciting. I want to continue to expand my knowledge base in an effort to explore life’s greatest mysteries, and finally I want to lose ten pounds.
I know that whatever life brings in the next year the only guarantee is it will be different one year from now when I’m contemplating this same topic once again. Change can be difficult, as it never seems to be the path of least resistance, but then stagnation isn’t exactly desirable either. Continued growth and learning, creating the kind of experiences you want to commit to memory, and drawing the people who support your dreams ever closer so that you may repay them by supporting theirs are the benchmarks I endeavor to achieve. I look forward to 2014 with great anticipation grateful for all that I have while still being hungry for that much more. I can't help but feel by putting this out there in the Universe I am but one step closer.
Happy New Year!!!
December 25, 2013
In The Name of the Rebel Jesus .....
I can’t believe my day is almost done ….. yet another Christmas – my 56th to be exact – almost behind me now. It has been a lovely day. Everyone has been pleasant and in good humor – which is not always a given when families congregate – but those kinds of tensions seemed to have vanished in the distant past, as no one seems interested in one-upping anyone else anymore, much less trying to steal center stage. Fortunately, with age and maturity also come a certain wisdom and the ability to set aside childishness in order to make room for what matters most …. fellowship with loved ones.
I was fortunate to enjoy the full spectrum of life today by witnessing the exuberance of childhood dreams fulfilled in the form of gifts from Santa, young – albeit exhausted – parents breathing a sigh of relief at knowing all their efforts had reaped a bountiful harvest as evidenced by youthful laughter and smiles, not to mention screams of ‘glee’ at the realization that believing in that which you cannot see had yielded exceptional results, as well as through the warmth and gratitude exemplified by my elderly parents who needed nothing but received everything they could have ever wanted in the form of two thoughtful daughters were there to spend Christmas Day with them pampering and spoiling them the same way they had done for us year after year during our childhood. I am blessed beyond measure to call myself a loving and devoted daughter, sister, mother and grandmother to a family who is the best gift I could’ve ever wished for.
It’s natural I suppose to reminisce this time of year about Christmases past and feel sad about what life has taken from you along the way ….. for instance I will always miss my brother particularly bad this time of year, because all the way up to his 49th year he continued to embrace the holidays with a childlike energy and innocence that couldn’t help but be infectious. He loved selecting just the right gift, and he often disguised them brilliantly much to his satisfaction. He was the one with the camera pointed in your face taking the most ghastly pictures of my sister and myself to proudly display in an album all their own ….. no make-up, bad bed hair and usually mouth wide open about to swallow a bite of food. The worse they were the more pride he seemed to take at having been the photographer. He also loved the food and the fellowship, and being a perfectionist by nature, I remember the Christmas he decided to master the making of an authentic New York cheesecake. I don’t remember now exactly how many he made before he was certain he had perfected the recipe and the art of the spring-form pan, but suffice it to say he didn’t quit until he was satisfied. He was always upbeat, positive and happy to share in your accomplishments as if they were his own, and I have missed that kind of input in my life more than I can say, but I am happy to report my mother, sister and I have all felt his presence around us of late, and I am truly grateful for his visit.
As I now point my face toward my 57th Christmas off in the distant future, I’ve decided not to be sad for what I no longer have, but rather happy and filled with anticipation for what is yet to come. Life invariably changes and we have to be prepared to move in conjunction with those changes – absent of fear – in order that we may grasp the beauty life still has to offer at any age. As the day draws to a close I like to reflect once more on the reason we all celebrate this season of miracles in the first place ….. the birth of Jesus. Though he only lived just over thirty-three years, I like to think of Him as the ultimate change-agent.
He took ancient ways and beliefs formed during the time of Moses, and molded them into entirely new concepts built on the foundation of love and compassion ….. not just for the Father, but for the human race as a whole. He reached out to the poor and down-trodden, as well as the lame and the sick in an effort to heal and bring them back into God’s fold. During his famed Sermon on the Mount, he spoke in favor of the meek and of those who mourn, as well as the poor in spirit, and those who thirst for righteousness. He taught us to be merciful and pure of heart, to be peacemakers and to stand up for His name even when it may feel unwise and unpopular to do so. He boldly identified corruption at its source and was willing to die so that we may enjoy our lives with the hope of eternal salvation.
In today’s world where it has become fashionable to criticize and ridicule in an attempt to gain power and headlines, it takes a person of certain conviction and courage to turn the other cheek. Capitalism and the ongoing quest to gain the upper hand naturally breed the kind of abhorrence exemplified by Herod and Caiaphas, but those among us who conceptualize and are led to care about that which is greater themselves will continue to ‘fight the good fight’ believing in a world that warrants the return of our beloved savior. As human beings we cannot help but be both pagans and sinners as we toil through this life in search of meaning and some form of escape, but as I continue to bid good cheer in the face of my daily struggles I shall always remain on the side of the Rebel Jesus.
I was fortunate to enjoy the full spectrum of life today by witnessing the exuberance of childhood dreams fulfilled in the form of gifts from Santa, young – albeit exhausted – parents breathing a sigh of relief at knowing all their efforts had reaped a bountiful harvest as evidenced by youthful laughter and smiles, not to mention screams of ‘glee’ at the realization that believing in that which you cannot see had yielded exceptional results, as well as through the warmth and gratitude exemplified by my elderly parents who needed nothing but received everything they could have ever wanted in the form of two thoughtful daughters were there to spend Christmas Day with them pampering and spoiling them the same way they had done for us year after year during our childhood. I am blessed beyond measure to call myself a loving and devoted daughter, sister, mother and grandmother to a family who is the best gift I could’ve ever wished for.
It’s natural I suppose to reminisce this time of year about Christmases past and feel sad about what life has taken from you along the way ….. for instance I will always miss my brother particularly bad this time of year, because all the way up to his 49th year he continued to embrace the holidays with a childlike energy and innocence that couldn’t help but be infectious. He loved selecting just the right gift, and he often disguised them brilliantly much to his satisfaction. He was the one with the camera pointed in your face taking the most ghastly pictures of my sister and myself to proudly display in an album all their own ….. no make-up, bad bed hair and usually mouth wide open about to swallow a bite of food. The worse they were the more pride he seemed to take at having been the photographer. He also loved the food and the fellowship, and being a perfectionist by nature, I remember the Christmas he decided to master the making of an authentic New York cheesecake. I don’t remember now exactly how many he made before he was certain he had perfected the recipe and the art of the spring-form pan, but suffice it to say he didn’t quit until he was satisfied. He was always upbeat, positive and happy to share in your accomplishments as if they were his own, and I have missed that kind of input in my life more than I can say, but I am happy to report my mother, sister and I have all felt his presence around us of late, and I am truly grateful for his visit.
As I now point my face toward my 57th Christmas off in the distant future, I’ve decided not to be sad for what I no longer have, but rather happy and filled with anticipation for what is yet to come. Life invariably changes and we have to be prepared to move in conjunction with those changes – absent of fear – in order that we may grasp the beauty life still has to offer at any age. As the day draws to a close I like to reflect once more on the reason we all celebrate this season of miracles in the first place ….. the birth of Jesus. Though he only lived just over thirty-three years, I like to think of Him as the ultimate change-agent.
He took ancient ways and beliefs formed during the time of Moses, and molded them into entirely new concepts built on the foundation of love and compassion ….. not just for the Father, but for the human race as a whole. He reached out to the poor and down-trodden, as well as the lame and the sick in an effort to heal and bring them back into God’s fold. During his famed Sermon on the Mount, he spoke in favor of the meek and of those who mourn, as well as the poor in spirit, and those who thirst for righteousness. He taught us to be merciful and pure of heart, to be peacemakers and to stand up for His name even when it may feel unwise and unpopular to do so. He boldly identified corruption at its source and was willing to die so that we may enjoy our lives with the hope of eternal salvation.
In today’s world where it has become fashionable to criticize and ridicule in an attempt to gain power and headlines, it takes a person of certain conviction and courage to turn the other cheek. Capitalism and the ongoing quest to gain the upper hand naturally breed the kind of abhorrence exemplified by Herod and Caiaphas, but those among us who conceptualize and are led to care about that which is greater themselves will continue to ‘fight the good fight’ believing in a world that warrants the return of our beloved savior. As human beings we cannot help but be both pagans and sinners as we toil through this life in search of meaning and some form of escape, but as I continue to bid good cheer in the face of my daily struggles I shall always remain on the side of the Rebel Jesus.
A Day In The Life of an Aspiring Author .....
I could talk about my work. In fact I'm more than happy to discuss topics related to my writing as it is my passion. Therefore, if you have a question or comment I beg you to put it forth and you will
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