Michael May's Blog, page 165

8 movies I didn't care for in 2013

Counting down the 2013 movies I saw, from worst to best:

38. Gangster Squad



I wanted another L.A. Confidential or The Untouchables, but Gangster Squad is a cliché-ridden mess that can't decide if it's serious and brutal or a tongue-in-cheek lark.


37. Battle of the Year



My standards for dance movies are pretty darn low. For the most part, I just want some great dancing and a somewhat believable reason for people to be doing it. Battle of the Year has neither of those things. Not even Sawyer could save it.

36. After Earth



Better than The Happening; not quite as good as The Last Airbender. M. Night Shyamalan continues to struggle to make a movie worthy of his once considerable talent. He's especially hampered this time by a script that directly opposes his traditional themes. I'd love to see a straightforward Shyamalan sci-fi movie that talks about fear and how to conquer it, but this isn't it.

35. Olympus Has Fallen



Some decent action, but mostly unbelievable nonsense.

34. A Good Day to Die Hard



If the main character wasn't named John McClane, this would be a totally generic, forgettable, Bruce Willis action thriller. I don't know if that would make it better or worse; my point is that this is Die Hard in name only. How the mighty have fallen.

33. Now You See Me



Great idea with an even better cast, but too many twists and fakey magic make it a dud. When your movie is about stage magicians, you need to work extra hard to make their act look believable and real. Obvious CG tricks don't cut it.

32. Star Trek Into Darkness



The beauty of the 2009 Star Trek movie was that it reset the Trekiverse and made it possible to tell any story with no regard for previous continuity. So the first thing they do is remake Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. It's an entertaining remake, but not worthy of either the film it's remaking or the one it's a sequel to.

31. Man of Steel



In some ways, this is the Superman film I've been waiting for. I love the way it treats Lois Lane, for instance, and the Krypton stuff is amazing. But it's too dark and cynical and in love with destruction. It's far more interested in showing suffering than in exploring how its main character battles it.

32 movies I wanted to see in 2013 (but didn't)

Happy New Year! As I've done the last couple of years, I'm going to spend the early days of 2014 running down the movies I saw in 2013 and ranking them from worst to best. I made it to 38 movies in the theater last year, which leaves 32 that I wanted to see, but will have to catch up on at home. I mention them here partly by way of explaining why some potentially great movies aren't among my favorites, but also so you can tell me which of these need to be at the top of my queue and which I shouldn't bother with.

Here they are in the order in which they were released. Some of the posters are high res, so I put most of the list behind a break for the sake of browsers everywhere.

1. Spring Breakers



Mostly just curious about Disney Princesses Behaving Badly. And I tend to like James Franco.

2. 42



I'm a sucker for movies about knocking down racial barriers.

3. Oblivion



I haven't heard great things, but I like Cruise's onscreen persona and the movie has a great look. I also haven't heard any spoilers, so I don't know what to expect and that's a big draw too.

4. Mud



I love Matthew McConaughey and it's so great to see him get away from dumb romantic comedies and back into meaty stuff. He's an excellent actor and by all accounts this is a great showcase for his talent. I also love the small town, Southern setting and the idea of hiding out on a river island. Brings back great memories of growing up in northern Florida.

5. Kon-Tiki



I like ocean adventure of course. but I'm also interested because this gig got the directors hired for the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

6. Kiss of the Damned



Old school, Hammer-style vampire movie. Yes, please.

7. Dead Man's Burden



A great-looking Western with a cast of people I'm not familiar with and an intriguing plot about murder and family loyalty.

8. Before Midnight



I need to visit the Before... series sooner rather than later. Don't know why I've procrastinated.

9. Violet & Daisy



Apparently, I didn't get enough of Saoirse Ronan as a teenaged assassin in Hannah. Partnering her with Rory Gilmore doesn't hurt either.

10. Monsters University



Bored with the run of sequels Pixar's in the middle of, I dismissed Monsters University, but by all accounts it's a good movie and I missed out.

11. White House Down



By no accounts a good movie - and my fondness for Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx doesn't overcome my distrust of Roland Emmerich - but I'm curious to see this version and compare it to Olympus Has Fallen.

12. Byzantium



More Saoirse Ronan, with Gemma Arterton and Neil Jordan. Should be a great-looking vampire movie if nothing else, but I have hope that it's more than just that.

13. The Way Way Back



Great cast. Even better buzz. And I like a good coming-of-age movie.

14. The Conjuring



I usually ignore modern ghost/exorcism movies, simply because there are so many and they all start looking the same after a while. Everyone says this one's in a different class, though.

15. The To Do List



I'd seen Aubrey Plaza in a couple of movies before this year (Funny People and Safety Not Guaranteed) and that wasn't enough to make me realize there's more to her than looking bored and sullen. After The To Do List left theaters though, I finally watched Parks and Recreation and now I'm eager to see her carry an entire movie.

16. Europa Report



Good science fiction is rare these days and I hear a great report about Europa.

17. Prince Avalanche



I'll see pretty much anything with Paul Rudd in it. And hey! Speed Racer!

18. In a World...



I like Lake Bell a lot from her time on the too-short Surface, but most of the stuff she's done since then has been low key, support stuff. Very cool that she's not only the star of this, but also the writer and director.

19. Austenland



I like Jane Austen movies almost as much as I like Felicity. Shut up.

20. Prisoners



The trailers for this weren't that interesting, but I got the feeling that there was more that they weren't telling. I'm curious, but also, Hugh Jackman.

21. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2



I was very disappointed that Mr. T was replaced as the voice of Earl Devereaux, but I loved the first one so much that I have to give the sequel a chance.

22. Don Jon



Joseph Gordon-Levitt is kind of the boss of me lately.

23. All is Bright



Did I mention I like Paul Rudd? Also, Christmas movies.

24. Romeo & Juliet



So Hailee Steinfeld was awesome in True Grit, but didn't have a lot to do in Ender's Game. Romeo & Juliet is one of my least-favorite Shakespeare plays, but for better or worse it should be a great proving ground for her range as an actress.

25. Escape from Tomorrow



It's not supposed to be very good, but I love Disney World and my curiosity is all up to see the unauthorized footage the filmmakers shot there.

26. About Time



I wouldn't see this if all I had to go on was the trailer, but I also know better than to bet against Richard Curtis.

27. The Best Man Holiday



Christmas movie. Man crush on Taye Diggs. I'm usually interested in Terrence Howard, too, and it's also got Harold Perrineau from Lost.

28. Frozen



Early concept art set my expectations for a lush fantasy that was perhaps a bit darker than usual Disney fare. That made me very disappointed when the goofy snowman started showing up in ads, but everyone seems to love it and I should probably give it a shot.

29. Inside Llewyn Davis



I know almost nothing about this except Coen Brothers and folk music. That's enough.

30. American Hustle



I've learned to trust David O. Russell and all of these actors. I'm not convinced I'll love the story, but I'll enjoy watching those people in it.

31. Saving Mr. Banks



There's some controversy over how true to real-life events this is, but I don't care about that. I'm interested in the theme suggested by the title and - like Escape from Tomorrow - seeing Disney parks on film.

32. Her



Spike Jonze, a killer cast, and pretty much every critic I trust is putting it on his or her Top 10 list for 2013.

Ashley Quach's 'Das Wampyr' cards

A while back I contributed to the Kickstarter for Mark Sable and Salgood Sam's Dracula: Son of the Dragon . One of the rewards I signed up for was a set of three 'Das Wampyr' cards from Ashley Quach, the wonderful cartoonist behind Sassquach. They arrived this week, and they're so awesome that I have to share them.

Backers could choose any vampires they wanted, so being a movie fan, I asked for each card to have an element from the three most iconic film Draculas.

First, I asked for old school Nosferatu:



Then, instead of Bela Lugosi as Dracula, I asked for his three brides:



And finally, I asked for Hammer Dracula:



Ashley is pretty great.

Merry Christmas. At Your Service.

This scene from Alastair Sim's Scrooge has always stuck with me. Sim's version adds a bunch of extra stuff in Christmas past, including the first meeting between Scrooge (on the right) and Marley. What's stayed with me though is their greeting. "Your servant, Mr. Scrooge," says Marley. And the proper reply is, "Your servant, Mr. Marley."

This wasn't the first time I'd heard that. I read enough Victorian literature as a kid to have had it drilled into me, and there's also a notable variation of it in The Hobbit:

He hung his hooded cloak on the nearest peg, and "Dwalin at your service!" he said with a low bow.

"Bilbo Baggins at yours!" said the hobbit, too surprised to ask any questions for the moment.

According to History.org, the greeting goes back to the 18th century and was common between people who were more or less social equals. That means that an actual servant would never have used it on his employer (because that would be ridiculously redundant) and it was pretty much only used between men. Of course, like with any social ritual, it eventually lost it's meaning, so saying "your servant" or "at your service" didn't actually mean you were ready to serve. No more than asking, "How are you?" today means that you're really willing to hear the honest answer to that question. It became merely a politeness.

But what if it wasn't?

On this Christmas Day, after spending a lot of time thinking about A Christmas Carol and particularly the scene with the charitable solicitors, it feels right to think about service as well. In the story, the portly gentlemen put themselves at the service of the poor for that one day, if no other time. Dickens wrote eloquently in that scene and others about the need for human beings to serve each other, regardless of how "deserving" the recipients of that service are.

And not just at Christmas, either. As Scrooge tells the final spirit at the end of the story, "I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year." And it occurs to me that honoring and keeping Christmas all the year is best done in the saying to people, and meaning it, "At your service."

Something I'll be thinking about as I make New Year's Resolutions.

Santa hates cephalopods

By Jose Alves da Silva.

Oh sure, he looks delighted, but I'm pretty sure that's actually fear and hatred.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Campfire’s A Christmas Carol (2010) | Graphic Classics, Volume 19: Christmas Classics (2010)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

After breezing quickly through the first two scenes, Alex Burrows and Micah Farritor slow down a tad with the solicitors and give them two full pages. It's still heavily abridged, but like some of the other short adaptations, that can work in its favor. The solicitors don't come off nearly as clueless as they do in the full Dickens.

Other than that, there are a couple of things worth mentioning with this one. The lead solicitor has a sad, weary look to him. That could be meant to convey depth of feeling for his cause, or it could just mean he's had a long day, but it's a different approach to the character.

There's also a quick flashback panel to Marley's funeral when Scrooge mentions that Marley's been dead these seven years. This is the first time Marley's been mentioned in this version, so it's a good spot to put a look at the lonely scene with only Scrooge and two officiants (the priest and the undertaker, I presume) in attendance.

And that's that! Thanks for following along. This was another fun exercise for me and I hope you enjoyed it too. Happy Holidays!

'You Wish to Be Anonymous?' | Campfire’s A Christmas Carol (2010)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

Re-reading my posts on this adaptation from the last couple of years, I see that I was presumptuous about the parts that writer Scott McCullar was responsible for and which parts were by artist Naresh Kumar. One of the things I've been reminded of this year is that it's difficult to know what kind of collaboration an artist and writer have. I know that Jason's made suggestions that have changed the script of Kill All Monsters and I've had input to some of the visual elements, so it's not always as clear as it first appears. I should have known better, so from here out I'm going to quit blaming Kumar for all the visual flaws of the Campfire edition and simply write about the work itself.

There do continue to be major flaws in the scene with the solicitors, but it opens with something that I mentioned last year that I like. As Fred is leaving Scrooge's office, Scrooge insults Cratchit for celebrating Christmas on his miserable salary. That's straight from Dickens, but in the original text Scrooge is muttering it to himself. In the Campfire comic, he's saying it out loud and the word balloons spill into the next panel where the solicitors are greeting Scrooge. What that suggests is that Scrooge is badmouthing his clerk - and revealing his salary - in front of potential customers. That's a bold, dickish action and I kind of love Scrooge for it.

I also like the perturbed look that the lead solicitor (on the right) gives Scrooge in the first panel above. Rather than seem confused by Scrooge's comments, he appears to get it. Sadly, that doesn't make sense with the rest of the scene when the same character (inexplicably white-haired in the next panel) continues to press on with his pitch. There's also some awkwardness with the balloon placement in that third panel, making it look like Scrooge's "Nothing" is a response to the offer of anonymity.

There are a couple of other oddities in the next two panels, but like Scrooge's jerkiness at the scene's opening, they can be read in a way that enhances the story. When Scrooge dismisses the men, he waves a friendly goodbye while talking about decreasing the surplus population. He's not just mean; he's cheerfully mean.

And then there's the end of the scene with Scrooge seated, thinking, "Good afternoon, gentlemen." Like the stuff above, we can either read that as a mistake (which I imagine it is), or accept it as the way this version is told and just read it as it is. The second option is way more fun and what that does is create a Scrooge who is so pleased with his own meanness that he's savoring the idea that he's just ruined the rest of these guys' day. Read that way, McCullar and Kumar's Scrooge goes beyond just being miserable and mean; he's actively evil. That should make his redemption - if he is redeemed - very interesting.

'You Wish to Be Anonymous?' | Jim Carrey (2009)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

In Robert Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol, the charitable solicitor scene has a couple of things in common with TNT's Patrick Stewart version. Instead of a pamphlet, Zemeckis has the solicitors offer Scrooge a card as credentials, but there's also a shot where Cratchit looks rather nervous at what's about to happen and sneaks away back to his little office. Gary Oldman plays this Cratchit as kind of a simpleton though, so we get an idiotic smile from him first as he approvingly listens to the solicitors.

When Scrooge corrects the gentlemen about Marley's death, he does it with a dramatic, ominous flourish. He not only wants to set them straight, he wants them to be uneasy about it. And this is before they've even mentioned why they're there. Jim Carrey's Scrooge is aggressively offensive. Stewart's Scrooge has built walls to keep people out, but Carrey's also has soldiers atop them to shoot at anyone who stops to show interest.

He calmly listens to their pitch, sliding his candle closer to look at their card, and when they finish, he responds in a careful, measured way. "Are there no prisons?" he purrs, holding the card close enough to the candle that it starts to sizzle.

The lead gentleman snatches the card away before it can burn. He's skeptical and cautious at first in how he answers Scrooge, obviously thrown off his game, but then he rallies and continues his pitch until Scrooge growls that he only wishes to be left alone. He asks the men to leave and they comply.

Overall, there's not a lot new here, but that's been the way with most of the adaptations. The solicitors generally show some hesitation when Scrooge asks about prisons and workhouses, but soldier on, thinking that they must have misunderstood him. They're simply not used to this kind of response. In addition to showing us more of Scrooge's attitude about the world, the scene highlights the contrast between his view and the rest of correct-thinking society.

In reality, Scrooge's view wasn't so different from a lot of powerful men in Victorian London, but Dickens writes as if it is. These portly - in Zemeckis' version, extremely portly - gentlemen may make merry all year round, but at least at this one time of year they think beyond themselves and consider those less fortunate. And they're used to seeing that attitude in everyone they talk to. It's not a radical kind of compassion, it's simply the baseline that any human being should be expected to possess. But Scrooge doesn't even have that.

'You Wish to Be Anonymous?' | A Christmas Carol: The Graphic Novel (2008)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

One of the things I've paid attention to the last couple of years with Classical Comics' A Christmas Carol: The Graphic Novel is how closely the adaptation adheres to its claim that it's the "original text." In previous scenes, there have been some abridgements, but for this one we get the whole thing.

It works rather well, too. Writer Sean Michael Wilson and artist Mike Collins give the scene four pages with plenty of room for reaction shots like the one above. I quite like that beat with the solicitors' looking at each other to see if they're reading Scrooge the same way. Other than that, the reactions are all ones that we expect - Scrooge is grumpy; the men are perplexed - but I like that the scene has room to breathe even if it doesn't add much new to our understanding of the characters.

One other thing I was reminded of though as I revisited Dickens' text to compare it with this one, was that Dickens has the lead gentleman present his credentials to Scrooge. Wilson and Collins include that (and Scrooge's handing them back), but it only now occurs to me that that's also what was going on in Patrick Stewart's version with the pamphlet. And we'll see it again in Jim Carrey's tomorrow.

'You Wish to Be Anonymous?' | Patrick Stewart (1999)

Index of other entries in The Christmas Carol Project

Like with a couple of other adaptations, TNT's movie starring Patrick Stewart gets clever with the introduction of the charitable solicitors. They stop Scrooge's nephew on the street after he's left his uncle and ask him for directions to the office. They tell them that they're new to the area (something that will come up again shortly) and are collecting charitable donations for the poor. Fred is confused at first, but figures out that they're completely unfamiliar with Scrooge. Oddly, he doesn't warn them, but gives them directions and watches them go with a bemused, "those poor bastards" expression. As we noticed in the last scene, this Fred can be kind of a jerk.

True to their newness in the area, the men don't know if they're addressing Scrooge or Marley, so Scrooge corrects them in the traditional way. Stewart gives it an interesting twist though by making Scrooge seem to recollect just at that moment that Marley died seven years ago that very night. It's a little weird since Scrooge and Cratchit were talking about Marley's death before Fred came in, but maybe Scrooge didn't connect that it was the actual anniversary. Stewart's Scrooge doesn't seem to hate Christmas so much as he simply dismisses it. (Scrooge's specific feelings about Christmas and why the various adaptations suggest that he feels that way is something I want to look at next year when we cover Cratchit's asking for time off. Hopefully I'll remember.)

The lead solicitor introduces himself as Williams - his companion is Foster - and hands Scrooge a pamphlet that Scrooge doesn't yet look at. The men offer their sympathy, which immediately makes Scrooge suspicious. He nervously asks if they're relatives and I wonder if he suspects them of looking for an inheritance from the business. He's relieved when they explain that they're not, but his suspicions go up again when they use the word "generosity." He finally looks at their pamphlet and hands it back with a sigh.

As the gentleman continue to explain why they're there, Cratchit looks uncomfortable about what he knows is about to happen and slinks back into his office. With a sneer, Scrooge says that he takes it that the gentlemen are new to the district. He obviously has a reputation and he's rather proud of it.

The rest of the scene proceeds pretty much as Dickens wrote it, with Stewart alternating between perfectly sincere delivery of his lines and making faces during theirs. Scrooge is doing everything he can to let them know that he's not interested, but they don't seem to grasp it. When they finally ask him what they can put him down for, his "Nothing" is a harsh challenge to continue the conversation.

Of course, they still can't believe it and ask if he wishes anonymity. He tiredly whispers, "I wish to be left alone" like he means it. I noted in the last couple of scenes that Stewart's Scrooge is a severely lonely man. He seemed to have some emotion connected to Marley at the funeral, but displays none of it seven years later. He's throwing up walls all over the place like he's desperate to push people away, but I can still see sadness occasionally peeking through in Stewart's performance. It's a genius bit of acting.

He talks about decreasing the surplus population very matter-of-factly and makes Cratchit show the disbelieving gentlemen out. There's no emotion in his dismissal. The walls are firmly in place.