Bart King's Blog, page 69

When a writer friend lands a big book deal:

"How great! That's really . . . great."

Sunflower magic didn't work for me? :(

My friend Mark wrote that on his daughter’s last day of preschool, her teachers sent every kid home with a packet of seeds and told them:

"When these bloom, you'll be ready for kindergarten."

And look at one of her sunflowers today—the same day kindergarten’s starting!
Isn't that great? However, below is the sunflower that I planted at the start of summer. Looks like it's back to preschool for me… AGAIN.

"This frying pan is utterly useless for cooking eggs!"

"That's a bedpan."

"Good to know."

Here's what not to ask little kids on the first day of school:

I had a similar reaction when I went off to college. (So I came back.)

Little Kitteh starring in "Comedy, Confusion, Tragedy"

(No Little Kittehs were harmed in the making of this masterpiece.)

Yes, the owl is calm. Very calm.

GAH

Kay always said she'd take her fudge recipe with her to the grave.

Somewhat related—the physicist Ludwig Botzman’s tombstone reads:S = k. LogW

Of course, 'S' is a system’s entropy, while 'k' is Boltzman’s Constant, and 'W' is the extent to which energy is dispersed. Good job, Ludwig!
Photos here and here.

Meteorite Strikes Portland!

A meteorite is a giant ball of rock and metal that enters Earth's orbit, survives intact after burning through the atmosphere, and finally smashes into the ground with the force of a thunderbolt from Olympus!

So yes, Portland officials, this was OBVIOUSLY the work of a meteorite.
Update: It wasn't a meteorite.KPTV - FOX 12

What Not to Ask the Guy Who Test Drove His “Hungry Hungry Hippo” Soapbox Derby Racer Past Your House

1. "Dude, where’s the engine?" (It runs on gravity.)2. "What's that giant LEGO piece with eyes?" (That’s the hippo head. It opens!)
3. "Where’s the rest of the body?" (In construction for the official competition next week.)
4. "Ooh, can I drive it?" (No.)
5. "Can I sit in the back?" (Yes, if that’s what it takes to shut you up.)
6. "Wow, this is great! Can I be part of the team that rides on it in the official competition next week?"
(You're still talking? Get out! *shove*)

You'll never believe this...

This morning, I walked past the street sign below . . . and a crown mysteriously appeared on my head.
BTW, if you're old enough to remember this old Imperial Margarine ad, you're much too mature to be reading this lousy blog!