E.J. Divitt's Blog, page 11
April 19, 2014
The Etiquette of Colds
It's tough being down with a cold or flu. It is hard to feel like being considerate of others when you are feeling under the weather. Unfortunately, being sick does comes with extra things to worry about in terms of how you interact with other people.
If you have a cold, make sure you wash your hands regularly--with soap--for at least 20 seconds. That is about the time it takes to sing a verse of a song. This is a good habit to get into anyways but it is especially true if you are trying to keep from passing germs around.
Avoid touching things in public areas where you may deposit your germs--such as door handles--as much as possible. This is especially true of food items. Do not go squeezing the peaches and leaving them for the next person to pick up.
If you have to sneeze or cough, use a tissue or handkerchief. If you do not have one handy or do not have enough notice, use the inside of your elbow to keep germs from spraying out into the air for others to breath.
Do not throw used tissues around. Especially do not leave them for other people to have to throw them away for you. If you do not have an immediately available trash receptacle, stick it in your purse or pocket until you do.
When you do sneeze, make sure you say, "Excuse me".
If possible, when you are sick, stay home to keep from spreading germs as much as possible. This also has the side benefit that people who rest up tend to get well quicker. Do not go anywhere that requires quiet such as a movie theater, if you know you are going to be having coughing fits.
If someone else is sick, say "Bless you" when they sneeze. You do not have to do this for every sneeze but rather for every set. So if they sneeze once and you say, "Bless you" and then sneeze again right away, you do not have to repeat yourself. If they sneeze again ten minutes later, say "Bless you" again.
I know you feel miserable but try your best to help stop spreading those nasty little germs around and to make sure you do not make everyone else miserable while you are.
If you have a cold, make sure you wash your hands regularly--with soap--for at least 20 seconds. That is about the time it takes to sing a verse of a song. This is a good habit to get into anyways but it is especially true if you are trying to keep from passing germs around.
Avoid touching things in public areas where you may deposit your germs--such as door handles--as much as possible. This is especially true of food items. Do not go squeezing the peaches and leaving them for the next person to pick up.
If you have to sneeze or cough, use a tissue or handkerchief. If you do not have one handy or do not have enough notice, use the inside of your elbow to keep germs from spraying out into the air for others to breath.
Do not throw used tissues around. Especially do not leave them for other people to have to throw them away for you. If you do not have an immediately available trash receptacle, stick it in your purse or pocket until you do.
When you do sneeze, make sure you say, "Excuse me".
If possible, when you are sick, stay home to keep from spreading germs as much as possible. This also has the side benefit that people who rest up tend to get well quicker. Do not go anywhere that requires quiet such as a movie theater, if you know you are going to be having coughing fits.
If someone else is sick, say "Bless you" when they sneeze. You do not have to do this for every sneeze but rather for every set. So if they sneeze once and you say, "Bless you" and then sneeze again right away, you do not have to repeat yourself. If they sneeze again ten minutes later, say "Bless you" again.
I know you feel miserable but try your best to help stop spreading those nasty little germs around and to make sure you do not make everyone else miserable while you are.
April 15, 2014
I Love My Local Library
My town has a pretty darn good library. It has books, DVDs, cds, blu-rays, audio books, digital downloads, newspapers, magazines and even yes, some VHS and cassette tapes. They even have a website that lets me download some digital content like putting audio books on my mp3 player. I can log into the website and access major databases like HeritageQuest if I decide to check out my ancestors or Mango if I want to try my hand at learning to speak another language.
When I hear a movie is coming out on DVD/Bluray, I go to the library website and reserve it. They send me an email (calling is also an option), and let me know it is in. I pop over, pick it up and have the choice of regular check out or going through the quick automated self checkout.
I have saved literally hundreds of dollars by getting movies at the library instead of renting them; by getting books instead of buying them. I am able to check out authors I have never heard of without having to spend money on them.
If I stumble upon a topic that sounds interesting, I can grab several books on the subject on the library. If I like it, great. If not, well, I didn't waste any money on it.
My library doesn't have the money or the space to get every movie or book that comes out. Libraries have found a way around that these days too. Multiple libraries will join a network such as CW Mars or MinuteMan. You can then request a book, DVD, audio book, etc from another library in the network. They will courier it over to your library and you pick up and return it there. It becomes your own personal database to pick and choose what you want.
Give it a try. If you don't already have a library card, visit your local library and get one. They usually are free or only a couple of dollars. All you need is proof you reside in that town such as a license or a utility bill in your name. If you already have a library card, dust it off. Go to your favorite search engine and type in the name of your town followed by "library"and the website will pop up.
The library will give you a card or receipt with the due date or you can always look it up (or renew it) online.
Give them a try! This is not your grandmother's library.
When I hear a movie is coming out on DVD/Bluray, I go to the library website and reserve it. They send me an email (calling is also an option), and let me know it is in. I pop over, pick it up and have the choice of regular check out or going through the quick automated self checkout.
I have saved literally hundreds of dollars by getting movies at the library instead of renting them; by getting books instead of buying them. I am able to check out authors I have never heard of without having to spend money on them.
If I stumble upon a topic that sounds interesting, I can grab several books on the subject on the library. If I like it, great. If not, well, I didn't waste any money on it.
My library doesn't have the money or the space to get every movie or book that comes out. Libraries have found a way around that these days too. Multiple libraries will join a network such as CW Mars or MinuteMan. You can then request a book, DVD, audio book, etc from another library in the network. They will courier it over to your library and you pick up and return it there. It becomes your own personal database to pick and choose what you want.
Give it a try. If you don't already have a library card, visit your local library and get one. They usually are free or only a couple of dollars. All you need is proof you reside in that town such as a license or a utility bill in your name. If you already have a library card, dust it off. Go to your favorite search engine and type in the name of your town followed by "library"and the website will pop up.
The library will give you a card or receipt with the due date or you can always look it up (or renew it) online.
Give them a try! This is not your grandmother's library.
April 12, 2014
Unsolicited Advice
Unsolicited advice can be one of the hardest things with which to deal. Sometimes it comes from a place where they are honestly trying to help. Sometimes it is just people telling you how much better they would have handled it. Either way, you want to respond politely. "Thank you for the advice" is one generic response you could use. It acknowledges their contribution without agreeing to anything.
"I appreciate it but I really feel it is important that I figure this out on my own." is another possible answer. It could be delivered with a small smile or a serious look.
If the unsolicited advice is the result of you looking for sympathetic ear, feel free to tell them something like, "I know you are trying to help but what I really need right now is just someone to listen."
The key is to be polite. Do not let their contribution start an argument even if they are being rude but especially if they mean well.
Where the advice is coming from is important to how you respond. If a stranger suddenly offers unwanted advice such as how to raise your child, feel free to just say, "Okay" and completely ignore them. You do not have to engage with them. You do not have to listen to them and you certainly do not have to let them make you feel bad about your choices, your parenting or your life.
If it is someone close to you, such as family or some one you have to work with a lot, you may need to take a stand and let them know that you appreciate the advice (even if you don't) but you have the situation under control. In these cases, the ability to mentally tune them out is a valuable gift.
Try not to respond with hostility to unsolicited advice with such comments as "Who asked you?" or "What business is it of yours?" I know it will probably feel good at the time but this blog is about being polite even in the face of impolite people. Do not let them drag you down.
You can always listen to the advice and then ignore them and do what you want anyways.
"I appreciate it but I really feel it is important that I figure this out on my own." is another possible answer. It could be delivered with a small smile or a serious look.
If the unsolicited advice is the result of you looking for sympathetic ear, feel free to tell them something like, "I know you are trying to help but what I really need right now is just someone to listen."
The key is to be polite. Do not let their contribution start an argument even if they are being rude but especially if they mean well.
Where the advice is coming from is important to how you respond. If a stranger suddenly offers unwanted advice such as how to raise your child, feel free to just say, "Okay" and completely ignore them. You do not have to engage with them. You do not have to listen to them and you certainly do not have to let them make you feel bad about your choices, your parenting or your life.
If it is someone close to you, such as family or some one you have to work with a lot, you may need to take a stand and let them know that you appreciate the advice (even if you don't) but you have the situation under control. In these cases, the ability to mentally tune them out is a valuable gift.
Try not to respond with hostility to unsolicited advice with such comments as "Who asked you?" or "What business is it of yours?" I know it will probably feel good at the time but this blog is about being polite even in the face of impolite people. Do not let them drag you down.
You can always listen to the advice and then ignore them and do what you want anyways.
April 8, 2014
Making Choices
Ursula the Sea Witch in Disney's Little Mermaid rather sarcastically says to Ariel, "Life is full of difficult choices. Isn't it?" She is not wrong. Life is full of choices. You make hundreds of little choices every day. Some by your actions and some by your inaction. Some of those choices are relatively easy such as whether to watch your favorite show. Some are hard such as whether or not to break up with the person that being with, breaks your heart.
Doing nothing is as much a choice as doing something.
Say you have to submit an application by Friday at noon and 1 PM comes and you say, "Oops, too late." You made the choice to ignore the deadline even if you did not sit down and say, "I think I will miss the deadline." Choosing to procrastinate is making a choice.
Sitting around waiting for someone else to make the decision for you is no less a decision.
Making decisions can be very hard. They can be gut wrenching. Sometimes it just feels easier to wait and see what happens. Do not mistake. You still chose. You chose to give up control and wait, perhaps because you feared the decision, perhaps to be able to say you didn't make the choice.
You did. You chose.
Putting off something unpleasant is a choice. Rushing into something without stopping to evaluate the situation is a choice. If you become paralyzed by indecision because you feel you have too many choices, then try sitting down and eliminating them a few at a time.
Even when you feel like you have no choice, you have one. But all choices have consequences and sometimes the consequence or cost of the choice is so horrible or so expensive that you tell yourself you have no choice. You do have a choice. It is just a lousy one.
Choice is one of the greatest aspects of your personal power. The choices you make define you. They shape your future. Do not abdicate your power by passively waiting for whatever happens. Look at your life. Embrace your choices and find your power. Even when it's hard.
Doing nothing is as much a choice as doing something.
Say you have to submit an application by Friday at noon and 1 PM comes and you say, "Oops, too late." You made the choice to ignore the deadline even if you did not sit down and say, "I think I will miss the deadline." Choosing to procrastinate is making a choice.
Sitting around waiting for someone else to make the decision for you is no less a decision.
Making decisions can be very hard. They can be gut wrenching. Sometimes it just feels easier to wait and see what happens. Do not mistake. You still chose. You chose to give up control and wait, perhaps because you feared the decision, perhaps to be able to say you didn't make the choice.
You did. You chose.
Putting off something unpleasant is a choice. Rushing into something without stopping to evaluate the situation is a choice. If you become paralyzed by indecision because you feel you have too many choices, then try sitting down and eliminating them a few at a time.
Even when you feel like you have no choice, you have one. But all choices have consequences and sometimes the consequence or cost of the choice is so horrible or so expensive that you tell yourself you have no choice. You do have a choice. It is just a lousy one.
Choice is one of the greatest aspects of your personal power. The choices you make define you. They shape your future. Do not abdicate your power by passively waiting for whatever happens. Look at your life. Embrace your choices and find your power. Even when it's hard.
April 5, 2014
Don't Overstep The Boundaries Of An Introduction
Human beings like to connect. We want to feel close to other people. We want to be seen. Sometimes in our quest to connect with someone new, we overstep.
An introduction is not the time to share your entire life story. I'm not saying that you can not share details of your personal life or your personal history. I am saying do not overstep the bounds of etiquette by thrusting your life story on someone prematurely. Start with small talk and let the conversation develop.
I will give you an example that happened to me years ago. I do not remember this conversation word for word but this is the general content of it.
I was introduced to a woman at a party. I do not remember her name. I do remember how she answered my, "How do you do?" She replied, "Not bad now that my ex husband is not trying to strangle me on an almost daily basis." While I certainly felt bad for her that she came from an abusive relationship, mostly I was just horrified.
I did not know how to respond. What could I possibly say after that? The entire room lapsed into an awkward horrible silence for several minutes and then we mostly just all drifted into other rooms. No one knew what they should say or how to respond in any way that would be helpful or that did not sound callous and so we said nothing.
While this young woman had every right to be upset and in a quieter venue would, I am sure, have gotten the sympathy she wanted, in this setting all she did was make a lot of people uncomfortable and ruin the host's party.
I hope that she had someone with which to share her experience. I hope she sought professional help or family or some close friends. I am not telling this story because I harbor any ill will towards her. However, such a statement at a party and at a first introduction, is one of the worst etiquette breaches. It made people very uncomfortable, helped her not at all and ruined the efforts of the hosts to make an enjoyable evening.
When introduced to someone new, you should always start by making small talk. I know some people consider it a waste of time but it is really a chance. It is a chance to get used to each other. A chance to spend some quiet time talking or sometimes just marking time. It is also a chance to decide if you wish to continue into a deeper conversation or perhaps even a friendship.
We all have our problems. We all need help sometimes. Do not confuse a casual introduction with a chance to have everyone focused on you and never put anyone in such an uncomfortable position.
An introduction is not the time to share your entire life story. I'm not saying that you can not share details of your personal life or your personal history. I am saying do not overstep the bounds of etiquette by thrusting your life story on someone prematurely. Start with small talk and let the conversation develop.
I will give you an example that happened to me years ago. I do not remember this conversation word for word but this is the general content of it.
I was introduced to a woman at a party. I do not remember her name. I do remember how she answered my, "How do you do?" She replied, "Not bad now that my ex husband is not trying to strangle me on an almost daily basis." While I certainly felt bad for her that she came from an abusive relationship, mostly I was just horrified.
I did not know how to respond. What could I possibly say after that? The entire room lapsed into an awkward horrible silence for several minutes and then we mostly just all drifted into other rooms. No one knew what they should say or how to respond in any way that would be helpful or that did not sound callous and so we said nothing.
While this young woman had every right to be upset and in a quieter venue would, I am sure, have gotten the sympathy she wanted, in this setting all she did was make a lot of people uncomfortable and ruin the host's party.
I hope that she had someone with which to share her experience. I hope she sought professional help or family or some close friends. I am not telling this story because I harbor any ill will towards her. However, such a statement at a party and at a first introduction, is one of the worst etiquette breaches. It made people very uncomfortable, helped her not at all and ruined the efforts of the hosts to make an enjoyable evening.
When introduced to someone new, you should always start by making small talk. I know some people consider it a waste of time but it is really a chance. It is a chance to get used to each other. A chance to spend some quiet time talking or sometimes just marking time. It is also a chance to decide if you wish to continue into a deeper conversation or perhaps even a friendship.
We all have our problems. We all need help sometimes. Do not confuse a casual introduction with a chance to have everyone focused on you and never put anyone in such an uncomfortable position.
April 1, 2014
Wasting Blame
"I suffer: someone must be to blame." Friedrich Nietzsche.
Every single day something will probably go wrong. You sprain an ankle in your exercise class. You get a run in your stocking. Your purse is stolen. You forget your lunch. Life is full of problems and issues. It is very common to try to find a person to blame for it.
Just because something happened does not mean someone has to be blamed.
If someone steals your purse, yes, you can point to a particular person and event and lay blame. That is easy and obvious. What about tripping on a curb? Some people shake their heads at their own clumsiness and pick themselves back up. Others try to sue the city for not painting the curb fluorescent orange so they would be sure to see it even though they were texting.
When a tree blows over in a hurricane, some people go next door and demand that their neighbor pay to have the tree removed because the roots are on the neighbor's land. Is the neighbor to blame because the tree fell? Probably not unless they blatantly left a rotted out tree standing but it's hard to collect money from the wind that was to blame. So we blame our neighbors for having let the tree grow at all and expect them to handle it for us. (By the way, if you have home owner's insurance, you probably have coverage there if the tree hits a building.)
I'm not saying people are always blameless. I am just saying not to assume that someone is to blame just because something happened. Accidents happen. Mistakes happen. Unless there was a mistake that was grievous, it may not be anyone's fault that something happened.
The same is true of yourself. Do not assume that every bad thing that happens to you is your fault. Do not drive yourself crazy blaming yourself for not being quicker or smarter or better. Sometimes it's not your fault; it's just your turn.
Save the time you would have spent looking for someone to blame and go straight to using that time to think about how to fix the situation. It's a lot more productive.
March 30, 2014
Respect Other People's Property
My sister is having a problem with a neighbor. The neighbor is having work done on our own property and instead of properly disposing of the trash, the neighbor is throwing it into the woods behind their house. Leaving aside that it is just a terrible thing to do to the environment, the woods behind their house also happen to be my sister's property.
I don't think anyone particularly thinks this is a nice or neighborly or polite thing to do. However, this neighbor may not be thinking about it at all. She may very well be thinking, "Who cares if I throw some things into the woods? It's not like I am throwing it in their driveway. Besides, otherwise I would have to take it to the dump myself and that is such a pain."
It's true; it is a pain. So is having to clean up after someone else or go next door and try to have a reasonable conversation about someone very unreasonably using your land as their own personal dump.
I find myself at least once a week out at the end of my driveway picking up cigarette butts. Neither I nor my husband or any of our regular visitors smoke. I have never seem the marlboro light thrown there but I am fairly certain it belongs to the gentleman who regularly walks by my house walking his dog. I imagine he does not feel like carrying a smelly cigarette home again so he tosses it where ever he is when he finishes it. He does not feel like carrying it so instead I have to keep cleaning off the end of my driveway? If I ever see him do it, I will politely ask him to stop and hope he is either reasonable or ashamed enough to stop.
If you have an inconsiderate neighbor, the first step is to politely, nicely ask them to stop. Do not act accusatory. Do not tell them how rude you think they are. Try to be polite. If things do escalate, at least you know that you tried to be polite and reasonable. Always start as you would want to be treated; with a nicely worded request and a please. Even if you don't think they deserve it.
I don't think anyone particularly thinks this is a nice or neighborly or polite thing to do. However, this neighbor may not be thinking about it at all. She may very well be thinking, "Who cares if I throw some things into the woods? It's not like I am throwing it in their driveway. Besides, otherwise I would have to take it to the dump myself and that is such a pain."
It's true; it is a pain. So is having to clean up after someone else or go next door and try to have a reasonable conversation about someone very unreasonably using your land as their own personal dump.
I find myself at least once a week out at the end of my driveway picking up cigarette butts. Neither I nor my husband or any of our regular visitors smoke. I have never seem the marlboro light thrown there but I am fairly certain it belongs to the gentleman who regularly walks by my house walking his dog. I imagine he does not feel like carrying a smelly cigarette home again so he tosses it where ever he is when he finishes it. He does not feel like carrying it so instead I have to keep cleaning off the end of my driveway? If I ever see him do it, I will politely ask him to stop and hope he is either reasonable or ashamed enough to stop.
If you have an inconsiderate neighbor, the first step is to politely, nicely ask them to stop. Do not act accusatory. Do not tell them how rude you think they are. Try to be polite. If things do escalate, at least you know that you tried to be polite and reasonable. Always start as you would want to be treated; with a nicely worded request and a please. Even if you don't think they deserve it.
March 26, 2014
Your Net Worth
Your net worth is your total assets minus your total liabilities. In other words, your net worth is everything you own minus your everything you owe.
Why should every goddess know her net worth? Because it gives you a simple picture of your financial health. It lets you make informed decisions about where you stand financially. It helps you plan for your financial future by showing you what you need to work on and what you have with which to work. It can be easy to lose track of how much you owe or how much you have. This gives you a simple number to sum it up.
I compute our net worth about once a year around this time so I can see how we are doing year to year.
How to compute your net worth.
Basically you add up everything of value and subtract what you owe. There are computer programs you can use to plug it in; just search net worth calculator for some examples.
You could also make a list of all of your accounts and add them together. Examples include:
Savings accounts
Checking accounts
Retirement accounts (401k, IRA, etc)
Stocks and bonds
Mutual Funds
CDs (certificates of deposit)
Value of your home
Value of your car
You could also include any valuable jewelry or artwork you may own.
This is your total assets.
Then list all of your liabilities aka debts and add them together. Examples include:
Balance on your mortgage
Home equity loan
Car loan
Student loan
Credit card debt
Personal loans
This is your total liability.
Now take your total asset amount and subtract your total liability. This is your net worth. Hopefully it is a positive number. If not, it shows you what you need to work on. More importantly, it gives you a number to focus on. If nothing else, it is knowledge and knowledge of your financial health can only help.
Why should every goddess know her net worth? Because it gives you a simple picture of your financial health. It lets you make informed decisions about where you stand financially. It helps you plan for your financial future by showing you what you need to work on and what you have with which to work. It can be easy to lose track of how much you owe or how much you have. This gives you a simple number to sum it up.
I compute our net worth about once a year around this time so I can see how we are doing year to year.
How to compute your net worth.
Basically you add up everything of value and subtract what you owe. There are computer programs you can use to plug it in; just search net worth calculator for some examples.
You could also make a list of all of your accounts and add them together. Examples include:
Savings accounts
Checking accounts
Retirement accounts (401k, IRA, etc)
Stocks and bonds
Mutual Funds
CDs (certificates of deposit)
Value of your home
Value of your car
You could also include any valuable jewelry or artwork you may own.
This is your total assets.
Then list all of your liabilities aka debts and add them together. Examples include:
Balance on your mortgage
Home equity loan
Car loan
Student loan
Credit card debt
Personal loans
This is your total liability.
Now take your total asset amount and subtract your total liability. This is your net worth. Hopefully it is a positive number. If not, it shows you what you need to work on. More importantly, it gives you a number to focus on. If nothing else, it is knowledge and knowledge of your financial health can only help.
March 22, 2014
It's Not Polite To Correct People
We have all been in that situation where someone does something that is just plain rude. They don't say thank you or they chew with their mouths open. Maybe you sent them a present or made a donation to their cause and never got a thank you. It's aggravating.
Sadly, it is just as rude to call them on it.
You can ask someone nicely if they received that present or donation. You can not walk up to them and demand a thank you. You should never say "You're welcome" with sarcasm. You should never say "Excuse you" when someone cuts you off.
It's tempting. I succumbed to the temptation last week myself. I was in a grocery store and an employee cut across from the register directly across my path as I was walking straight. She then stopped right in front of me and turned and said something to another employee. I had to stop short while holding bags of groceries. She just looked at me and continued on. I admit it. I muttered "excuse you" after her.
That was rude of me.
Yes she was being rude as well as inconsiderate and making her employers look bad to boot, but I still was rude as well.
Do not stoop. Do not become the rudeness. It only spreads. I sincerely doubt I did anything to correct her behavior and only behaved badly myself.
Etiquette means behaving the correct way even if every one around you is being rude. Myself included.
Sadly, it is just as rude to call them on it.
You can ask someone nicely if they received that present or donation. You can not walk up to them and demand a thank you. You should never say "You're welcome" with sarcasm. You should never say "Excuse you" when someone cuts you off.
It's tempting. I succumbed to the temptation last week myself. I was in a grocery store and an employee cut across from the register directly across my path as I was walking straight. She then stopped right in front of me and turned and said something to another employee. I had to stop short while holding bags of groceries. She just looked at me and continued on. I admit it. I muttered "excuse you" after her.
That was rude of me.
Yes she was being rude as well as inconsiderate and making her employers look bad to boot, but I still was rude as well.
Do not stoop. Do not become the rudeness. It only spreads. I sincerely doubt I did anything to correct her behavior and only behaved badly myself.
Etiquette means behaving the correct way even if every one around you is being rude. Myself included.
March 18, 2014
You Deserve A Vacation Or A Chance To Rest
A lot of women tend to work themselves into exhaustion trying to help everyone; trying to accomplish everything. Maybe you work full time outside the home, then you come home and take care of the house and the kids. It seems to be a common issue amongst women that we try to accomplish 80 hours worth of work in 60 hours. This may mean staying up too late or getting up too early. Sacrificing your sleep, your health and your peace of mind to help everyone.
You deserve to rest. You deserve a break. It is OK to take some time for yourself.
The number one cause of death for a woman is a heart attack. Some of the leading causes of heart attacks are stress and not taking care of your body. I know the kids need feeding and the dishes need doing. It may feel like a waste of time or a betrayal to take 20 minutes for yourself. It is not.
Would you want your kids working themselves to death? Would you want them overdoing it and causing themselves stress and health problems? Then don't do it to yourself.
If the problem is a lack of help from your spouse or kids, then talk to them. Make sure you do not act as though it is a confrontation; that will just make them feel attacked and not inclined to help. Ask them to do things and praise them when they do. Everyone wants to feel as though they are being helpful. And yes, chances are you are doing a lot more and not getting praised, but this is one of those cases where it is a small investment that will make everyone feel better in the end. You will get more help and they will feel appreciated.
Also, do not be afraid to use paper plates sometimes so you can save that time you would have spent doing dishes. If sometimes the dinner dishes wait until after dinner the next night so you can sit down and rest for 10 minutes than so be it. If you have to use your slow cooker a few nights a week so you can do 20 minutes of yoga, by all means.
Remember that you being around 10 years from now is a lot more important to your kids continued health and well being than whether or not the dish washer got unloaded. Take some time for yourself. It will make you healthier and happier and that makes your whole family better off. Plus you deserve it.
You deserve to rest. You deserve a break. It is OK to take some time for yourself.
The number one cause of death for a woman is a heart attack. Some of the leading causes of heart attacks are stress and not taking care of your body. I know the kids need feeding and the dishes need doing. It may feel like a waste of time or a betrayal to take 20 minutes for yourself. It is not.
Would you want your kids working themselves to death? Would you want them overdoing it and causing themselves stress and health problems? Then don't do it to yourself.
If the problem is a lack of help from your spouse or kids, then talk to them. Make sure you do not act as though it is a confrontation; that will just make them feel attacked and not inclined to help. Ask them to do things and praise them when they do. Everyone wants to feel as though they are being helpful. And yes, chances are you are doing a lot more and not getting praised, but this is one of those cases where it is a small investment that will make everyone feel better in the end. You will get more help and they will feel appreciated.
Also, do not be afraid to use paper plates sometimes so you can save that time you would have spent doing dishes. If sometimes the dinner dishes wait until after dinner the next night so you can sit down and rest for 10 minutes than so be it. If you have to use your slow cooker a few nights a week so you can do 20 minutes of yoga, by all means.
Remember that you being around 10 years from now is a lot more important to your kids continued health and well being than whether or not the dish washer got unloaded. Take some time for yourself. It will make you healthier and happier and that makes your whole family better off. Plus you deserve it.
