Stephen Kozeniewski's Blog, page 70
November 14, 2014
Non-Sister Sister Lovin' Mister (Dis or Dat With Pete Barber, author of LOVE POISON)
'Ello, guv'nahs! I've got the right proud pleasure of 'aving met today's guest. And 'e talks in no wise like the way I'm pretending wot to now. 'Owever, 'e is from Liverpool, and I almost never get to use the adjective "Liverpudlian" outside of they-who-will-not-be-named, so I'm proud to introduce Liverpudlian author and close personal friend (well, okay, we met once) Pete Barber! Pete's graciously agreed to put up with my stunted Cockney bullshit and to engage in a dis or dat regarding his newest work, LOVE POISON! Let's meet the man and then jump right in. Oh, and, as always, stick around to the end for a giveaway from our mutual publisher, Red Adept.
About Pete Barber:
Pete Barber was born into a blue-collar family in Liverpool, England. Fortunately, a knack for building computer software enabled an early life switch from hard hat and overalls to suit and tie.
After immigrating to the US in the early ’90s, Pete became a citizen and started living the American dream.
Burned out from twenty years in the corporate world, he and his wife, Joyce, bought a run-down, dog-friendly motel in Carolina Beach, NC. A close friend still refers to this as a brain fart.
Eight crazy years later, they sold the business and moved to Lake Lure, North Carolina, where Pete and Joyce currently live with a dozen llamas, two spoiled dogs, a brace of cookie-eating goats, numerous chickens, and one ferocious cat.
Dis or Dat?
SK: Barber or Berber?
PB: Well, my family name is Barber, although no one in my family actually cuts hair. It seems likely, though, that my ancestors practiced the art of bloodletting, symbolized by the red and white striped “Barber’s Pole.” That does make it hard to swell with ancestral pride, so perhaps I should buy a vowel and become a carpet maker.
SK: New Zealand or New Jersey?
PB: Much of the action in LOVE POISON takes place in New Zealand. That is an expensive taxi ride from New Jersey, and a far more exotic place for my main characters to fall in love. So, despite Camden’s obvious attraction for my Maori gangsters, I’ll stay with the Kiwi angle.
SK: Mushrooms or "mushrooms?"
PB: The mushrooms featured in LOVE POISON are a powerful aphrodisiac that make a man fall hopelessly in love with the nearest woman. They are definitely “mushrooms.”
SK: Maoris or the Mowry sisters?
PB: I had to Google the Mowry sisters :), so obviously not them. However, when I learned that Tamera broke down on Oprah and confessed that she’d been the victim of racial abuse, I did question my choice of Maori gangsters for my bad guys. Maybe the sista’s husband would have been scarier?
SK: Love Boat or LOVE POISON?
PB: A large white ship that carries hundreds of women to an island escape where they’ll be ravaged by love-crazed GQ models does feature heavily in the plot. So, either will work, methinks.
About LOVE POISON:
Love is a dangerous drug.
Lab assistant and avid climber Amber Wilson is no stranger to risk. But she feels invisible around her handsome boss, Mark, until she accidentally doses him with an irresistible aphrodisiac that leaves him with a suicidal hangover. Abruptly fired, Amber and Mark partner up to research the source of the drug—a rare New Zealand mushroom—in hopes of refining it for safe use.
On their way to New Zealand to collect fungi samples, Amber is blindsided by a deep and intense romantic connection with Mark. Their new business plan is endangered by ruthless Maori mobsters who control a mushroom scheme they’re killing to protect. As the body count rises, Amber struggles to salvage her and Mark’s dreams, but when she risks her heart and acts alone, both of them could end up paying the ultimate price.
Pick up a copy through Amazon, Kobo, Google Play, iBookstore, or Barnes and Noble and be sure to tell your friends about it on Goodreads.
Read an excerpt
a Rafflecopter giveaway
About Pete Barber:
Pete Barber was born into a blue-collar family in Liverpool, England. Fortunately, a knack for building computer software enabled an early life switch from hard hat and overalls to suit and tie.
After immigrating to the US in the early ’90s, Pete became a citizen and started living the American dream.
Burned out from twenty years in the corporate world, he and his wife, Joyce, bought a run-down, dog-friendly motel in Carolina Beach, NC. A close friend still refers to this as a brain fart.
Eight crazy years later, they sold the business and moved to Lake Lure, North Carolina, where Pete and Joyce currently live with a dozen llamas, two spoiled dogs, a brace of cookie-eating goats, numerous chickens, and one ferocious cat.
Dis or Dat?
SK: Barber or Berber?
PB: Well, my family name is Barber, although no one in my family actually cuts hair. It seems likely, though, that my ancestors practiced the art of bloodletting, symbolized by the red and white striped “Barber’s Pole.” That does make it hard to swell with ancestral pride, so perhaps I should buy a vowel and become a carpet maker.
SK: New Zealand or New Jersey?
PB: Much of the action in LOVE POISON takes place in New Zealand. That is an expensive taxi ride from New Jersey, and a far more exotic place for my main characters to fall in love. So, despite Camden’s obvious attraction for my Maori gangsters, I’ll stay with the Kiwi angle.
SK: Mushrooms or "mushrooms?"
PB: The mushrooms featured in LOVE POISON are a powerful aphrodisiac that make a man fall hopelessly in love with the nearest woman. They are definitely “mushrooms.”
SK: Maoris or the Mowry sisters?
PB: I had to Google the Mowry sisters :), so obviously not them. However, when I learned that Tamera broke down on Oprah and confessed that she’d been the victim of racial abuse, I did question my choice of Maori gangsters for my bad guys. Maybe the sista’s husband would have been scarier?
SK: Love Boat or LOVE POISON?
PB: A large white ship that carries hundreds of women to an island escape where they’ll be ravaged by love-crazed GQ models does feature heavily in the plot. So, either will work, methinks.
About LOVE POISON:
Love is a dangerous drug.
Lab assistant and avid climber Amber Wilson is no stranger to risk. But she feels invisible around her handsome boss, Mark, until she accidentally doses him with an irresistible aphrodisiac that leaves him with a suicidal hangover. Abruptly fired, Amber and Mark partner up to research the source of the drug—a rare New Zealand mushroom—in hopes of refining it for safe use.
On their way to New Zealand to collect fungi samples, Amber is blindsided by a deep and intense romantic connection with Mark. Their new business plan is endangered by ruthless Maori mobsters who control a mushroom scheme they’re killing to protect. As the body count rises, Amber struggles to salvage her and Mark’s dreams, but when she risks her heart and acts alone, both of them could end up paying the ultimate price.
Pick up a copy through Amazon, Kobo, Google Play, iBookstore, or Barnes and Noble and be sure to tell your friends about it on Goodreads.
Read an excerpt
a Rafflecopter giveaway
November 12, 2014
November 10, 2014
Very Sad News Today...
I was very saddened today to hear about the passing of J.F. Gonzalez, one of horror's great authors. I don't know anything about what happened, but I'm saddened by his loss and offer my condolences to his friends, family, and loved ones.
I didn't know Mr. Gonzalez personally, but I did have the great honor of meeting him once, around this time last year. I wrote a guest blogpost about it and the advice he gave me as a brand new horror author. I remember him being warm, personable, and having a very wry sense of humor. I regret now that I'll never get the chance to get to know him better.
I'm not sure what the appropriate thing to say in a situation like this is, but when an author passes away we are fortunate that his work remains as a legacy and a way to remember him. So maybe now would be a good time to pick up one of his books.
This is me (center) with Gonzalez (left) and his frequent collaborator Brian Keene (right)
I didn't know Mr. Gonzalez personally, but I did have the great honor of meeting him once, around this time last year. I wrote a guest blogpost about it and the advice he gave me as a brand new horror author. I remember him being warm, personable, and having a very wry sense of humor. I regret now that I'll never get the chance to get to know him better.
I'm not sure what the appropriate thing to say in a situation like this is, but when an author passes away we are fortunate that his work remains as a legacy and a way to remember him. So maybe now would be a good time to pick up one of his books.
This is me (center) with Gonzalez (left) and his frequent collaborator Brian Keene (right)
November 6, 2014
It's That Time of Year Again...
It's that time of year again...awards season! I've never actually won an award for my writing. The closest I ever came was having BRAINEATER JONES be named the twelfth best book of 2013 by Brian Keene. And that's fine. Awards are generally not to be taken too seriously.
However, I know a lot of my fans are always wondering how they can help my fledgling career. Obviously, buying my books is the best way, reading my books is the second best way, and reviewing my books is the third best way. But if you want to help with marketing by spreading the word about my books, that's always much appreciated as well.
Again, to reiterate: I appreciate all my fans just for being there for me, and you don't have to do anything. But if you want to, here are a couple of things you can do for awards season:
- Read Free.ly's 50 Best Indie Books is taking submissions through December 6. Every form has three entries. So you can submit BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS as well as AT HELL'S GATES, which were both published this year. And if you're an author, you can submit your own story as well, or if you're a reader and you have a third fave, hey, the slot's open.
- If you're a member of the HWA you can recommend AT HELL'S GATES for this year's Stoker Awards. I believe you can send one mass e-mail to the jury and post one Facebook post about it.
- The Goodreads Choice Awards are going on through November 8 (see my blogpost about it here.) You can vote for
BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS (June, 2014) in the Science Fiction category
AT HELL'S GATES (September, 2014) in the Horror category
And EITHER in the general Fiction category.
So that's what you can do if you feel like it. Thanks, everybody!
However, I know a lot of my fans are always wondering how they can help my fledgling career. Obviously, buying my books is the best way, reading my books is the second best way, and reviewing my books is the third best way. But if you want to help with marketing by spreading the word about my books, that's always much appreciated as well.
Again, to reiterate: I appreciate all my fans just for being there for me, and you don't have to do anything. But if you want to, here are a couple of things you can do for awards season:
- Read Free.ly's 50 Best Indie Books is taking submissions through December 6. Every form has three entries. So you can submit BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS as well as AT HELL'S GATES, which were both published this year. And if you're an author, you can submit your own story as well, or if you're a reader and you have a third fave, hey, the slot's open.
- If you're a member of the HWA you can recommend AT HELL'S GATES for this year's Stoker Awards. I believe you can send one mass e-mail to the jury and post one Facebook post about it.
- The Goodreads Choice Awards are going on through November 8 (see my blogpost about it here.) You can vote for
BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS (June, 2014) in the Science Fiction category
AT HELL'S GATES (September, 2014) in the Horror category
And EITHER in the general Fiction category.
So that's what you can do if you feel like it. Thanks, everybody!
November 4, 2014
Election Day!
It's Election Day! That magical time of year when people of all socioeconomic strata from across the United States come together in vague agreement that despite all the shortcomings of our system of both governance and election, hey, it beats worshipping the sun or whatever.
So get out there and vote! Please, for the love of everything, vote. I know my exhortation to do so isn't going to change your mind, but maybe mine will be the fifteenth or the sixteenth you've seen today, and the Katy Perry Theory will kick in and you'll just HAVE to go through with it.
And while we're talking about voting, on a slightly lighter and more self-serving note, the Goodreads elections are taking place now. During this first round, write-ins are allowed, and while I have no illusions about my chances of either of the books I had published in 2014 making it into the next round, a guy can dream, can't he? So, just as a reminder, if you have a Goodreads account you can vote for:
BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS (June, 2014) in the Science Fiction category
and
AT HELL'S GATES (September, 2014) in the Horror category
And you can write in EITHER for the general Fiction category.
All my other category votes are still uncast, so if you're an author with a book to sell or a reader with a favorite to gush over, go ahead and pitch me your 2014 favorites in the comments below!
So get out there and vote! Please, for the love of everything, vote. I know my exhortation to do so isn't going to change your mind, but maybe mine will be the fifteenth or the sixteenth you've seen today, and the Katy Perry Theory will kick in and you'll just HAVE to go through with it.
And while we're talking about voting, on a slightly lighter and more self-serving note, the Goodreads elections are taking place now. During this first round, write-ins are allowed, and while I have no illusions about my chances of either of the books I had published in 2014 making it into the next round, a guy can dream, can't he? So, just as a reminder, if you have a Goodreads account you can vote for:
BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS (June, 2014) in the Science Fiction category
and
AT HELL'S GATES (September, 2014) in the Horror category
And you can write in EITHER for the general Fiction category.
All my other category votes are still uncast, so if you're an author with a book to sell or a reader with a favorite to gush over, go ahead and pitch me your 2014 favorites in the comments below!
October 31, 2014
The Raven (Performed by Steve Rimpici)
I had big plans (I'm not even making this up) to perform Poe's "The Raven" and post it for Halloween this year, because I think Halloween should be a time for telling scary stories in the traditional campfire style. That's why last week I posted my own original "The Thing Under the Bed" and I intended to follow it up with "The Raven" today.
However, last night, as I was sitting down to do my recording, friend of the blog and narrator of BRAINEATER JONES Steve Rimpici posted his own version, in a '30s noir style. It's so good I decided to put off my own meager efforts until next year, and just share it with you here. Actually, when I was listening last night I saw a raven-shaped opening in the clouds. But the picture, of course, just looks like my phone was broken, otherwise I would share it with you here and spook you out.
So, enjoy, "The Raven" as recited by Officer Weathers as performed by Steve Rimpici. Make sure to turn the lights out, light a candle, and turn away from the screen and just...you know...listen.
However, last night, as I was sitting down to do my recording, friend of the blog and narrator of BRAINEATER JONES Steve Rimpici posted his own version, in a '30s noir style. It's so good I decided to put off my own meager efforts until next year, and just share it with you here. Actually, when I was listening last night I saw a raven-shaped opening in the clouds. But the picture, of course, just looks like my phone was broken, otherwise I would share it with you here and spook you out.
So, enjoy, "The Raven" as recited by Officer Weathers as performed by Steve Rimpici. Make sure to turn the lights out, light a candle, and turn away from the screen and just...you know...listen.
October 29, 2014
Do My Amazon Author Page "Likes" Mean Anything?
Short answer? No, I'm afraid not.
If you don't know what I'm talking about (and as an average reader you probably don't) go ahead and click on my Amazon author page. Depending on your browser, you should see something like this:
If you click that button I've circled in red, you've just "liked" my page. You can go ahead and click it, of course. For one thing, it'll make me feel good, and the imaginary numbers on which I judge my life a success or not will increase slightly.
What does it actually do for me, though? Well, nothing, really.
There's a rumor spreading wildly on Facebook right now that Amazon is basing their marketing for authors on the number of "likes" they have. Tellingly, though I've seen dozens of posts to this effect, none of them have quoted a source or even cited Wikipedia. I don't have to be Snopes.com to realize there's something fishy about that.
So, in the interest of finding out whether this is something I should be concerned about, I checked Amazon's FAQs about the "like" button to find...nothing. So I took the next investigative step and, just like a real-life BRAINEATER JONES, I e-mailed Amazon's Author Central bureau.
Within hours I received a response from a nice all-American girl from Bangalore, Ohio. So, what the heck, I'll just reprint it in its entirety here:
Hello Stephen,
I understand you'd like to know if the number of "likes" on Author Page will affect the amount of marketing.
Please know that Amazon doesn't market books based on the number of likes on Author Page and also it isn't intended to improve your rank in search results on Amazon.com. The "Like" button on Amazon.com Author Pages is a feature we use to recommend books, among other products, based on customer-interest. This feature is purely a cosmetic feature at this time, but when a customer expresses interest in the Author Page and clicks the Like icon, we'll use this to make better recommendations.
The "Like" button feature is only on Amazon product pages, and isn't related to Facebook. Amazon won't share information from an account with Facebook or post anything to a Facebook Wall without the account holder's consent.
If you have other questions about the "Like" feature, check out the information available on our Help pages:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html/ref=hp_13316081_bid_2542401 ?...
I'd also like to inform you that the "Like" feature on Author Page is now being deprecated and all the existing Author Pages which have this feature will no longer have it as we are currently testing a new presentation of the bibliography on Author Pages which includes deprecation of 'Like' feature. We're aiming for a more convenient way for our customers and readers to browse for their favorite books and authors on our website.
We'll make this change permanent assuming feedback from customers.
Rest assured, your feedback contributes to the development and the way we make future changes to the program.
I hope this helps to explain. We hope to seeing you again soon.
Best regards,[Eh, What the Heck, I'll Redact Her Name]
So, basically, I'm a "product." And the likes are there for my readers, not me. If you "like" me, you'll be informed when I have new releases and that sort of thing, a functionality, incidentally, you can also receive by joining my mailing list. And while "deprecate" is a bit of an odd word to use, I think it's just a simple translation error on our good customer service rep's part for "discontinue." Same with "purely cosmetic." I mean, it's not "purely cosmetic;" it does do something, just...not what the rumor mill seems to think.
So. Long story short, in a roundabout way having more "likes" helps you in the sense that people who "like" your page will be informed what you're up to. But it will not affecting your marketing, also boughts, or the Amazon algorithm. And the functionality is being discontinued anyway. So, I wouldn't stress out about it too much, authors, but never let it be said that authors will not find something new to stress out about every day.
If you don't know what I'm talking about (and as an average reader you probably don't) go ahead and click on my Amazon author page. Depending on your browser, you should see something like this:
If you click that button I've circled in red, you've just "liked" my page. You can go ahead and click it, of course. For one thing, it'll make me feel good, and the imaginary numbers on which I judge my life a success or not will increase slightly.
What does it actually do for me, though? Well, nothing, really.
There's a rumor spreading wildly on Facebook right now that Amazon is basing their marketing for authors on the number of "likes" they have. Tellingly, though I've seen dozens of posts to this effect, none of them have quoted a source or even cited Wikipedia. I don't have to be Snopes.com to realize there's something fishy about that.
So, in the interest of finding out whether this is something I should be concerned about, I checked Amazon's FAQs about the "like" button to find...nothing. So I took the next investigative step and, just like a real-life BRAINEATER JONES, I e-mailed Amazon's Author Central bureau.
Within hours I received a response from a nice all-American girl from Bangalore, Ohio. So, what the heck, I'll just reprint it in its entirety here:
Hello Stephen,
I understand you'd like to know if the number of "likes" on Author Page will affect the amount of marketing.
Please know that Amazon doesn't market books based on the number of likes on Author Page and also it isn't intended to improve your rank in search results on Amazon.com. The "Like" button on Amazon.com Author Pages is a feature we use to recommend books, among other products, based on customer-interest. This feature is purely a cosmetic feature at this time, but when a customer expresses interest in the Author Page and clicks the Like icon, we'll use this to make better recommendations.
The "Like" button feature is only on Amazon product pages, and isn't related to Facebook. Amazon won't share information from an account with Facebook or post anything to a Facebook Wall without the account holder's consent.
If you have other questions about the "Like" feature, check out the information available on our Help pages:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html/ref=hp_13316081_bid_2542401 ?...
I'd also like to inform you that the "Like" feature on Author Page is now being deprecated and all the existing Author Pages which have this feature will no longer have it as we are currently testing a new presentation of the bibliography on Author Pages which includes deprecation of 'Like' feature. We're aiming for a more convenient way for our customers and readers to browse for their favorite books and authors on our website.
We'll make this change permanent assuming feedback from customers.
Rest assured, your feedback contributes to the development and the way we make future changes to the program.
I hope this helps to explain. We hope to seeing you again soon.
Best regards,[Eh, What the Heck, I'll Redact Her Name]
So, basically, I'm a "product." And the likes are there for my readers, not me. If you "like" me, you'll be informed when I have new releases and that sort of thing, a functionality, incidentally, you can also receive by joining my mailing list. And while "deprecate" is a bit of an odd word to use, I think it's just a simple translation error on our good customer service rep's part for "discontinue." Same with "purely cosmetic." I mean, it's not "purely cosmetic;" it does do something, just...not what the rumor mill seems to think.
So. Long story short, in a roundabout way having more "likes" helps you in the sense that people who "like" your page will be informed what you're up to. But it will not affecting your marketing, also boughts, or the Amazon algorithm. And the functionality is being discontinued anyway. So, I wouldn't stress out about it too much, authors, but never let it be said that authors will not find something new to stress out about every day.
October 27, 2014
Survival Instructions for the Zombie Apocalypse (Guest Infographic from Blogger Naomi Shaw)
Hey, kids, I am just pleased as punch to bring you all a Halloween week surprise! The infographic which I know you're already scrolling past my introduction to read was created by the talented blogger and journalist Naomi J. Shaw, who reached out to me last week. Naomi's written a few words about this below and then we'll get to know her a little bit, too, but first let's just enjoy this beauty:
Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse
The general American public is fascinated by zombies—and rightfully so. Our current news landscape is dominated by talk of all sorts of looming threats, both domestic and abroad; both real and speculative.
For most, something like ebola, for example, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The way a lot of people are talking about it, through professional news outlets and social media alike, there’s no way of knowing for sure just how serious or threatening ebola is to the hypothetical average American.
In stark contrast to this brand of vague, widespread panic and confusion, zombies are a (fictional) threat that makes a whole lot of sense. Zombies want to:
1. Eat your brains.
2. Increase the number of zombies that exist.Living, breathing humans can prevent them from doing this going for the head. Zombies without a head are zombies no more.
One part of what makes ebola so threatening in the weird way that it is, is that safety from it is not something that can be simply summed up in a clear and concise infographic, but rather, something being hotly debated by America’s top health professionals. If they don’t know, who does?
Protection from a zombie outbreak takes no health professionals; no debate. Rather, a one-hundred-thousand dollar Zombie Fortification Cabin will do the trick.
Zombies in Pop Culture
Products like this—whose cousins include, for example, weaponry/first-aid kids branded to resemble items found on The Walking Dead, plenty of which can be found through a quick eBay search—do not exist for people who are actually worried about a zombie outbreak (people who doubtlessly do exist—somewhere—but don’t have $100,000 of disposable income, I would wager) but people concerned with other, more real things, who also happen to really like zombies.
This is what makes zombie culture so unique: while the threat isn’t real, the idea of threat, while far more simple than the many posed by things the real world, provokes very realistic planning and strategizing.
Of course, zombies are also a whole lot more fun than ebola. From Zombie Crawls to Zombie Balls, a lot of people like to dress up like zombies and be goofy together.
Zombie Preparedness
While cinema portrays zombies as a threat with which humans must be very concerned, it seems perfectly safe to say that zombies are no real threat to an American public so captivated by how to defeat them.
Despite the fact that the current number of humans lost to zombie attacks is negligible (having never actually happened), multiple books exist outlining how to prevent an outbreak, were it to occur.
The attached infographic has a few more tips on how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Whether or not this is something that may actually happen one day, keeping the information below in mind can help prevent this sort of disaster before it even happens.
In the meantime, you can do your duty as a living human by dressing up like a zombie and having fun!
About Naomi Shaw
Naomi Shaw is a writer and mother of three based in Southern California. Originally an entrepreneur, she hopes people with a good business sense will be valued in the case of a zombie outbreak.
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Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse
The general American public is fascinated by zombies—and rightfully so. Our current news landscape is dominated by talk of all sorts of looming threats, both domestic and abroad; both real and speculative.
For most, something like ebola, for example, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The way a lot of people are talking about it, through professional news outlets and social media alike, there’s no way of knowing for sure just how serious or threatening ebola is to the hypothetical average American.
In stark contrast to this brand of vague, widespread panic and confusion, zombies are a (fictional) threat that makes a whole lot of sense. Zombies want to:
1. Eat your brains.
2. Increase the number of zombies that exist.Living, breathing humans can prevent them from doing this going for the head. Zombies without a head are zombies no more.
One part of what makes ebola so threatening in the weird way that it is, is that safety from it is not something that can be simply summed up in a clear and concise infographic, but rather, something being hotly debated by America’s top health professionals. If they don’t know, who does?
Protection from a zombie outbreak takes no health professionals; no debate. Rather, a one-hundred-thousand dollar Zombie Fortification Cabin will do the trick.
Zombies in Pop Culture
Products like this—whose cousins include, for example, weaponry/first-aid kids branded to resemble items found on The Walking Dead, plenty of which can be found through a quick eBay search—do not exist for people who are actually worried about a zombie outbreak (people who doubtlessly do exist—somewhere—but don’t have $100,000 of disposable income, I would wager) but people concerned with other, more real things, who also happen to really like zombies.
This is what makes zombie culture so unique: while the threat isn’t real, the idea of threat, while far more simple than the many posed by things the real world, provokes very realistic planning and strategizing.
Of course, zombies are also a whole lot more fun than ebola. From Zombie Crawls to Zombie Balls, a lot of people like to dress up like zombies and be goofy together.
Zombie Preparedness
While cinema portrays zombies as a threat with which humans must be very concerned, it seems perfectly safe to say that zombies are no real threat to an American public so captivated by how to defeat them.
Despite the fact that the current number of humans lost to zombie attacks is negligible (having never actually happened), multiple books exist outlining how to prevent an outbreak, were it to occur.
The attached infographic has a few more tips on how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Whether or not this is something that may actually happen one day, keeping the information below in mind can help prevent this sort of disaster before it even happens.
In the meantime, you can do your duty as a living human by dressing up like a zombie and having fun!
About Naomi Shaw
Naomi Shaw is a writer and mother of three based in Southern California. Originally an entrepreneur, she hopes people with a good business sense will be valued in the case of a zombie outbreak.
October 25, 2014
Survival Instructions for the Zombie Apocalypse (Guest Infographic from Blogger Naomi Shaw)
Hey, kids, I am just pleased as punch to bring you all a Halloween week surprise! The infographic which I know you're already scrolling past my introduction to read was created by the talented blogger and journalist Naomi J. Shaw, who reached out to me last week. Naomi's written a few words about this below and then we'll get to know her a little bit, too, but first let's just enjoy this beauty:
Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse
The general American public is fascinated by zombies—and rightfully so. Our current news landscape is dominated by talk of all sorts of looming threats, both domestic and abroad; both real and speculative.
For most, something like ebola, for example, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The way a lot of people are talking about it, through professional news outlets and social media alike, there’s no way of knowing for sure just how serious or threatening ebola is to the hypothetical average American.
In stark contrast to this brand of vague, widespread panic and confusion, zombies are a (fictional) threat that makes a whole lot of sense. Zombies want to:
1. Eat your brains.
2. Increase the number of zombies that exist.
Living, breathing humans can prevent them from doing this going for the head. Zombies without a head are zombies no more.
One part of what makes ebola so threatening in the weird way that it is, is that safety from it is not something that can be simply summed up in a clear and concise infographic, but rather, something being hotly debated by America’s top health professionals. If they don’t know, who does?
Protection from a zombie outbreak takes no health professionals; no debate. Rather, a one-hundred-thousand dollar Zombie Fortification Cabin will do the trick.
Zombies in Pop Culture
Products like this—whose cousins include, for example, weaponry/first-aid kids branded to resemble items found on The Walking Dead, plenty of which can be found through a quick eBay search—do not exist for people who are actually worried about a zombie outbreak (people who doubtlessly do exist—somewhere—but don’t have $100,000 of disposable income, I would wager) but people concerned with other, more real things, who also happen to really like zombies.
This is what makes zombie culture so unique: while the threat isn’t real, the idea of threat, while far more simple than the many posed by things the real world, provokes very realistic planning and strategizing.
Of course, zombies are also a whole lot more fun than ebola. From Zombie Crawls to Zombie Balls, a lot of people like to dress up like zombies and be goofy together.
Zombie Preparedness
While cinema portrays zombies as a threat with which humans must be very concerned, it seems perfectly safe to say that zombies are no real threat to an American public so captivated by how to defeat them.
Despite the fact that the current number of humans lost to zombie attacks is negligible (having never actually happened), multiple books exist outlining how to prevent an outbreak, were it to occur.
The attached infographic has a few more tips on how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Whether or not this is something that may actually happen one day, keeping the information below in mind can help prevent this sort of disaster before it even happens.
In the meantime, you can do your duty as a living human by dressing up like a zombie and having fun!
About Naomi Shaw
Naomi Shaw is a writer and mother of three based in Southern California. Originally an entrepreneur, she hopes people with a good business sense will be valued in the case of a zombie outbreak.
Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse
The general American public is fascinated by zombies—and rightfully so. Our current news landscape is dominated by talk of all sorts of looming threats, both domestic and abroad; both real and speculative.
For most, something like ebola, for example, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The way a lot of people are talking about it, through professional news outlets and social media alike, there’s no way of knowing for sure just how serious or threatening ebola is to the hypothetical average American.
In stark contrast to this brand of vague, widespread panic and confusion, zombies are a (fictional) threat that makes a whole lot of sense. Zombies want to:
1. Eat your brains.
2. Increase the number of zombies that exist.
Living, breathing humans can prevent them from doing this going for the head. Zombies without a head are zombies no more.
One part of what makes ebola so threatening in the weird way that it is, is that safety from it is not something that can be simply summed up in a clear and concise infographic, but rather, something being hotly debated by America’s top health professionals. If they don’t know, who does?
Protection from a zombie outbreak takes no health professionals; no debate. Rather, a one-hundred-thousand dollar Zombie Fortification Cabin will do the trick.
Zombies in Pop Culture
Products like this—whose cousins include, for example, weaponry/first-aid kids branded to resemble items found on The Walking Dead, plenty of which can be found through a quick eBay search—do not exist for people who are actually worried about a zombie outbreak (people who doubtlessly do exist—somewhere—but don’t have $100,000 of disposable income, I would wager) but people concerned with other, more real things, who also happen to really like zombies.
This is what makes zombie culture so unique: while the threat isn’t real, the idea of threat, while far more simple than the many posed by things the real world, provokes very realistic planning and strategizing.
Of course, zombies are also a whole lot more fun than ebola. From Zombie Crawls to Zombie Balls, a lot of people like to dress up like zombies and be goofy together.
Zombie Preparedness
While cinema portrays zombies as a threat with which humans must be very concerned, it seems perfectly safe to say that zombies are no real threat to an American public so captivated by how to defeat them.
Despite the fact that the current number of humans lost to zombie attacks is negligible (having never actually happened), multiple books exist outlining how to prevent an outbreak, were it to occur.
The attached infographic has a few more tips on how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Whether or not this is something that may actually happen one day, keeping the information below in mind can help prevent this sort of disaster before it even happens.
In the meantime, you can do your duty as a living human by dressing up like a zombie and having fun!
About Naomi Shaw
Naomi Shaw is a writer and mother of three based in Southern California. Originally an entrepreneur, she hopes people with a good business sense will be valued in the case of a zombie outbreak.
