Stephen Kozeniewski's Blog, page 73
September 3, 2014
Well, This Turned Out to Be a Great Big Gigantic Waste of Time
***Well, shit, as you all know, happens. When I'm keeping the blog up-to-date, I usually stick to a M-W-F schedule, posting at noon. So, if you haven't figured it out yet, allow me to draw back the curtain: I schedule most of my posts ahead of time. Sometimes weeks, even months ahead of time, especially in the case of guests with time restrictions.
Scheduling posts is kind of a crapshoot. Sometimes links go dead, as they are wont to over time, or jokes that seemed timely suddenly fall flat. I've never had THIS happen before, though. A prediction I wrote in a scheduled blogpost came true.
I predicted Patrick McLaw, who has been touted as a sort of political prisoner in the verrrrry myopic wing of the writing community, would turn out to have much bigger problems than what he said in a self-published book. I scheduled this post for September 10, and wouldn't you know it, yesterday my "prediction" came true.
I'm sort of pissed, because if I had posted this in real time, I would have seemed amazingly prescient. Instead, I now get to seem like a Johnny-Come-Lately. But, you know what, I already wrote the damn post, and it's not getting any fresher, so what the hell, I may as well post it now. There's no way I can prove, of course, that I really wrote this before the news broke, but if I strike you as the sort of person who would lie about something this inane to seem right, then you, sir, don't know that I liked Napoleon Dynamite AND Battlestar Galactica before they were cool. Trailblazer.***
I once self-published a novel about a school shooting. You'll probably never find it unless you know me extremely well and personally. But, yeah, hidden out there in the murk of the interwebz, far worse than any manuscript I at least copped to and burned here on the blog, is my fictionalized account of the blowout from the Columbine Massacre. If the police look into it, and you believe the hype, I'm about to be arrested.
I suppose that statement would seem inflammatory out of context, but I don't mean it that way. Those of you reading this who are in the publishing community (authors, agents, etc.) probably already know where I'm going with this. For the rest of you, you should probably know that a young schoolteacher named Patrick Law was recently sacked and possibly arrested. He also self-published a novel about a school shooting.
I wish to point out that I did not connect those two facts, either by causation or correlation. But you'll note that when I list those two facts in a row like that, it sure SEEMS like a young schoolteacher got arrested BECAUSE he wrote about a school shooting. I have no idea if that's the case. In fact, I'd venture to say it's probably not.
Based on what little facts I can glean from the news stories - which all appear to be more or less identical - this dude was a 23 year old eighth-grade teacher, has multiple aliases, wrote a science fiction story (set a millennium from now) about a school shooting, was dismissed from his job, was ordered to have an emergency psychiatric evaluation, and is currently in some kind of Kafkaesque alegal limbo.
There are holes here. Big, gaping holes you could drive a Chrysler through. Why was he ordered to have an emergency headshrinking? Why was he dismissed from his job? Was he arrested? If so, what was the charge? If not, what the fuck is the dude's status?
The internet being what it is, and authors being, you know, storytellers, lots of people have jumped to lots of conclusions. I can't blame them, honestly, because this journalism is super shoddy.
1. Conclusion 1: Aliases refers to his pen names
2. Conclusion 2: He was dismissed for some fiction he wrote and no other good reason
3. Conclusion 3: McLaw is now a political prisoner
So, I can definitely see where these ideas are coming from. However, remember what I said about causation and correlation. I feel like we've been presented with a Mad Lib and people have filled it in with their own juicy prejudices. It sorta kinda feels like we live in a police state, what with Ferguson on the one end of the political spectrum and Cliven Bundy on the other, so it doesn't seem that far from possible.
Here's one thing that bugs me. Authors have been jumping all over the seemingly Orwellian usage of "alias" instead of "pen name." And yet (and here, again, I'm no journalist, but...) these articles all mention two aliases. Patrick McLaw, aka Patrick Beale, aka Dr. K.S. Voltaer. So, K.S. Voltaer is a pen name. But my (admittedly cursory) search of Amazon shows no books by anyone named Patrick Beale since 1956, 35 years before he was born.
So who the hell is Patrick Beale? What is Patrick McLaw or K.S. Voltaer doing under this name? And another point: I'm guessing he does not, in fact, have a Ph.D., and yet K.S. Voltaer is supposedly a doctor. Are we looking at a Father Guido Sarducci situation here? Is the "doctor" part just a lark? I know lots of people who use pen names, but I can't think of one that made up credentials. Making up credentials sort of seems like something a crazy person would do.
But all that aside, I think the second conclusion is the one that bugs me the most. People are saying that McLaw got sent in for a medical evaluation because he wrote some twisted shit. And considering the kind of twisted shit I personally write, I have no special desire to belabor this point, but sometimes people write twisted shit BECAUSE they are crazy. I'm saying, we might be putting the cart before the horse here. Why is the assumption that McLaw got sent up the river because he wrote some book about a school shooting? Why isn't the natural assumption that he acted crazy, got ordered to have an emergency evaluation, and it turns out that one symptom of his issues is a twisted book he wrote three years ago?
Here's a perfectly plausible scenario counter to the current "Maryland is a Soviet-style police state" theorem. Maybe Patrick McLaw did something horrible or acted in a way that a teacher shouldn't. So the school board suspended him, and asked the police to look into his background, and when they did, after an ordinary financial check, they found out he was also an author. Then the media being what they are, reported all of these disparate facts together (perhaps with an intent to deceive, perhaps not) and now authors particularly are making castles in the sky out of it. Oh, and, by the way, making a campaign to buy this guy's book. This guy nobody knows anything about who sometimes pretends to be a doctor and sometimes pretends to be some other guy and got sacked from a union job and cops are looking into. I'm not saying injustice never happens, but justice also someteimes (on occasion) happens and maybe we should figure out which this is before we make it a cause célèbre.
I don't know. It could be that we ARE alll living in a Soviet-style police state and authors are getting arrested for what they write. In which case, can one of you swing by the secret police headquarters and bail me out? I'm pretty sure I'm going to be next.
Scheduling posts is kind of a crapshoot. Sometimes links go dead, as they are wont to over time, or jokes that seemed timely suddenly fall flat. I've never had THIS happen before, though. A prediction I wrote in a scheduled blogpost came true.
I predicted Patrick McLaw, who has been touted as a sort of political prisoner in the verrrrry myopic wing of the writing community, would turn out to have much bigger problems than what he said in a self-published book. I scheduled this post for September 10, and wouldn't you know it, yesterday my "prediction" came true.
I'm sort of pissed, because if I had posted this in real time, I would have seemed amazingly prescient. Instead, I now get to seem like a Johnny-Come-Lately. But, you know what, I already wrote the damn post, and it's not getting any fresher, so what the hell, I may as well post it now. There's no way I can prove, of course, that I really wrote this before the news broke, but if I strike you as the sort of person who would lie about something this inane to seem right, then you, sir, don't know that I liked Napoleon Dynamite AND Battlestar Galactica before they were cool. Trailblazer.***
I once self-published a novel about a school shooting. You'll probably never find it unless you know me extremely well and personally. But, yeah, hidden out there in the murk of the interwebz, far worse than any manuscript I at least copped to and burned here on the blog, is my fictionalized account of the blowout from the Columbine Massacre. If the police look into it, and you believe the hype, I'm about to be arrested.
I suppose that statement would seem inflammatory out of context, but I don't mean it that way. Those of you reading this who are in the publishing community (authors, agents, etc.) probably already know where I'm going with this. For the rest of you, you should probably know that a young schoolteacher named Patrick Law was recently sacked and possibly arrested. He also self-published a novel about a school shooting.
I wish to point out that I did not connect those two facts, either by causation or correlation. But you'll note that when I list those two facts in a row like that, it sure SEEMS like a young schoolteacher got arrested BECAUSE he wrote about a school shooting. I have no idea if that's the case. In fact, I'd venture to say it's probably not.
Based on what little facts I can glean from the news stories - which all appear to be more or less identical - this dude was a 23 year old eighth-grade teacher, has multiple aliases, wrote a science fiction story (set a millennium from now) about a school shooting, was dismissed from his job, was ordered to have an emergency psychiatric evaluation, and is currently in some kind of Kafkaesque alegal limbo.
There are holes here. Big, gaping holes you could drive a Chrysler through. Why was he ordered to have an emergency headshrinking? Why was he dismissed from his job? Was he arrested? If so, what was the charge? If not, what the fuck is the dude's status?
The internet being what it is, and authors being, you know, storytellers, lots of people have jumped to lots of conclusions. I can't blame them, honestly, because this journalism is super shoddy.
1. Conclusion 1: Aliases refers to his pen names
2. Conclusion 2: He was dismissed for some fiction he wrote and no other good reason
3. Conclusion 3: McLaw is now a political prisoner
So, I can definitely see where these ideas are coming from. However, remember what I said about causation and correlation. I feel like we've been presented with a Mad Lib and people have filled it in with their own juicy prejudices. It sorta kinda feels like we live in a police state, what with Ferguson on the one end of the political spectrum and Cliven Bundy on the other, so it doesn't seem that far from possible.
Here's one thing that bugs me. Authors have been jumping all over the seemingly Orwellian usage of "alias" instead of "pen name." And yet (and here, again, I'm no journalist, but...) these articles all mention two aliases. Patrick McLaw, aka Patrick Beale, aka Dr. K.S. Voltaer. So, K.S. Voltaer is a pen name. But my (admittedly cursory) search of Amazon shows no books by anyone named Patrick Beale since 1956, 35 years before he was born.
So who the hell is Patrick Beale? What is Patrick McLaw or K.S. Voltaer doing under this name? And another point: I'm guessing he does not, in fact, have a Ph.D., and yet K.S. Voltaer is supposedly a doctor. Are we looking at a Father Guido Sarducci situation here? Is the "doctor" part just a lark? I know lots of people who use pen names, but I can't think of one that made up credentials. Making up credentials sort of seems like something a crazy person would do.
But all that aside, I think the second conclusion is the one that bugs me the most. People are saying that McLaw got sent in for a medical evaluation because he wrote some twisted shit. And considering the kind of twisted shit I personally write, I have no special desire to belabor this point, but sometimes people write twisted shit BECAUSE they are crazy. I'm saying, we might be putting the cart before the horse here. Why is the assumption that McLaw got sent up the river because he wrote some book about a school shooting? Why isn't the natural assumption that he acted crazy, got ordered to have an emergency evaluation, and it turns out that one symptom of his issues is a twisted book he wrote three years ago?
Here's a perfectly plausible scenario counter to the current "Maryland is a Soviet-style police state" theorem. Maybe Patrick McLaw did something horrible or acted in a way that a teacher shouldn't. So the school board suspended him, and asked the police to look into his background, and when they did, after an ordinary financial check, they found out he was also an author. Then the media being what they are, reported all of these disparate facts together (perhaps with an intent to deceive, perhaps not) and now authors particularly are making castles in the sky out of it. Oh, and, by the way, making a campaign to buy this guy's book. This guy nobody knows anything about who sometimes pretends to be a doctor and sometimes pretends to be some other guy and got sacked from a union job and cops are looking into. I'm not saying injustice never happens, but justice also someteimes (on occasion) happens and maybe we should figure out which this is before we make it a cause célèbre.
I don't know. It could be that we ARE alll living in a Soviet-style police state and authors are getting arrested for what they write. In which case, can one of you swing by the secret police headquarters and bail me out? I'm pretty sure I'm going to be next.
September 1, 2014
Revisiting the Double-Spaced Sentence
Okay.
To clarify what we're talking about today:
PERIOD + SPACE
vs.
PERIOD + SPACE + SPACE
The last time I discussed this subject, I confused some folks who thought I was talking about double-spacing your paragraphs, as in, where there is an extra blank line in between each line of horizontal text, as opposed to the block spacing format this blog post uses. So, there, right off the bat I hope we're all on the same page (ha!) We're talking about adding (if you're in one camp) or subtracting (if you're in the other) a space after your final punctuation mark of each sentence.
I never thought I'd have to revisit this subject (I mean, is this really scintillating subject matter for anyone?) but today I came across this rather abusive article. So, clearly this author is taking a somewhat more nuanced approach to the subject than Farhad "FUCK THE WORLD I AM THE ARBITER OF ALL GOOD TASTE" Manjoo, but still not a kind one to the double-spacer camp.
So the Cult of Pedagogy article suggests that this matter is generational. Old fogies who grew up on slide rules, Victrolas, and typewriters, who still hilariously try to push the return bar on their computers, are the only ones who still double-space sentences. And young, hip, presumably urban Twitter-users who grew up on Facebook and don't know who Paul McCartney even WAS, man, are single-spacing their sentences.
Um...
Except...
So, if you read this article (which, God bless you if you could get through it without throwing your device on the ground) the author even admits that she never heard of this no-double-spacing so-called "rule" until 1999. Which means that the only people who might potentially have learned NOT to double space in formal writing are 15 or younger.
I supposedly am a Millennial. The oldest possible Millennial, but still. I never heard of this supposed rule change until 2012. Admittedly, I don't have kids in school and I'm not a teacher, so I wouldn't know what's being taught these days. But even assuming I'm stupendously out-of-touch (which I may be) then this no-double-spacing thing came into vogue at some point between '99 and '12. And Manjoo even admits in his article that it's still a matter of some contention, though he, of course, considers the debate moot.
I'm not going to relitigate this stupid discussion. I mean, feel free to in the comments if you want. I don't believe in prescriptivism in language, so it usually sticks in my craw when someone proclaims there is One True Way to English correctly.
But what it boils down to for me is that, like the Oxford comma, I see no good reason NOT to double space. It adds clarity and there are occasions when not doing it leads to confusion. The worst possible outcome of single-space construction (just like leaving off that last serial comma) is that the reader has to re-read something in order to understand it. But why make your reader do that?
And the only argument for it is...it's hip? You look like you're over 40 if you don't do it? Even though everyone over the age of 15 would've been taught that this was correct for formal writing?
UPDATE:
After writing this entire blogpost, I drilled down into the comments on the Cult of Pedagogy article and discovered these three articles that essentially explode all of Manjoo's supposedly definitive and unassailable opinion piece. More food for thought, anyway.
To clarify what we're talking about today:
PERIOD + SPACE
vs.
PERIOD + SPACE + SPACE
The last time I discussed this subject, I confused some folks who thought I was talking about double-spacing your paragraphs, as in, where there is an extra blank line in between each line of horizontal text, as opposed to the block spacing format this blog post uses. So, there, right off the bat I hope we're all on the same page (ha!) We're talking about adding (if you're in one camp) or subtracting (if you're in the other) a space after your final punctuation mark of each sentence.
I never thought I'd have to revisit this subject (I mean, is this really scintillating subject matter for anyone?) but today I came across this rather abusive article. So, clearly this author is taking a somewhat more nuanced approach to the subject than Farhad "FUCK THE WORLD I AM THE ARBITER OF ALL GOOD TASTE" Manjoo, but still not a kind one to the double-spacer camp.
So the Cult of Pedagogy article suggests that this matter is generational. Old fogies who grew up on slide rules, Victrolas, and typewriters, who still hilariously try to push the return bar on their computers, are the only ones who still double-space sentences. And young, hip, presumably urban Twitter-users who grew up on Facebook and don't know who Paul McCartney even WAS, man, are single-spacing their sentences.
Um...
Except...
So, if you read this article (which, God bless you if you could get through it without throwing your device on the ground) the author even admits that she never heard of this no-double-spacing so-called "rule" until 1999. Which means that the only people who might potentially have learned NOT to double space in formal writing are 15 or younger.
I supposedly am a Millennial. The oldest possible Millennial, but still. I never heard of this supposed rule change until 2012. Admittedly, I don't have kids in school and I'm not a teacher, so I wouldn't know what's being taught these days. But even assuming I'm stupendously out-of-touch (which I may be) then this no-double-spacing thing came into vogue at some point between '99 and '12. And Manjoo even admits in his article that it's still a matter of some contention, though he, of course, considers the debate moot.
I'm not going to relitigate this stupid discussion. I mean, feel free to in the comments if you want. I don't believe in prescriptivism in language, so it usually sticks in my craw when someone proclaims there is One True Way to English correctly.
But what it boils down to for me is that, like the Oxford comma, I see no good reason NOT to double space. It adds clarity and there are occasions when not doing it leads to confusion. The worst possible outcome of single-space construction (just like leaving off that last serial comma) is that the reader has to re-read something in order to understand it. But why make your reader do that?
And the only argument for it is...it's hip? You look like you're over 40 if you don't do it? Even though everyone over the age of 15 would've been taught that this was correct for formal writing?
UPDATE:
After writing this entire blogpost, I drilled down into the comments on the Cult of Pedagogy article and discovered these three articles that essentially explode all of Manjoo's supposedly definitive and unassailable opinion piece. More food for thought, anyway.
August 29, 2014
I'm Not Going in on Fancy Robotic Hands and Shit Like That: An Interview with Ian McClellan, author of ONE UNDEAD STEP
Well, hey there everybody. If you've been following me on social media at all, you probably know that I have what can only be described as a complete and unabashed man-crush on today's guest. Except if I was any kind of a good writing guy or something I wouldn't have worded that so awkwardly. So. Moving on.
Ian McClellan! Let's meet him now. And interview him! Also, ONE UNDEAD STEP! Rave reviews!
About Ian McClellan:
Swear to God this is the promotional image he gave me. You people think I fuck around with my guests, but really, it's my guests who fuck around with me. Yeah, I'm talking about you, too, Warren Fielding, with the stick figure.
Ian McClellan was born in a small harbor town in southwest Ireland. In an effort to be cliche his parents moved the family to New York when he was thirteen. Once a promising up-and-comer in the world of competitive eating, his career was cut short by an ACL injury. He now resides in Florida with his dogs and drives a truck for a living, but is crossing his fingers and hoping his writing career will earn him enough money that he can tell his boss where to stick it.
Interview
SK: A fan has famously said of your novel ONE UNDEAD STEP, “OK, well I've read the first 5 chapters. I nearly had to cut my hands off to stop myself reading more.” Had this poor unfortunate actually followed through with his plan, would you have felt obliged to pay the medical bills?
IM: I don't know, man. How much are we talking here? I'm a pretty no frills kind of guy. I'm not going in on fancy robotic hands and shit like that for the guy. If he keeps it simple like I would, I'll consider chipping in. Ever seen Kingpin? Something like that.
SK: So, in my guest policy I specifically mentioned wanting to talk to a beer truck driver, and yet I had to seek YOU out for this interview. How is that supposed to make ME feel?
IM: Sorry, but I totally missed that. Being a beer truck driver isn't as great as you might think. Sure, I make good money, and get a lot of beer for free, and chicks that are way out of my league flirt with me all the time, but no one really cares about the real Ian. It's all about the uniform. Where's our parade, man?
SK: You are my first fellow Severed Press author (amputee?) to come on the blog! (Other Severed alums, please take note of the instant swell in Ian’s cachet as a result.) What’s it been like for you working with the Wonder from Down Under?
IM: Look, I really dig you, and I'm happy to be here and appreciate your having me, but I can assure you that there is no swelling in my crotch. Really, though, not one Severed Press author? Maybe they don't realize you're open to interviews and whatnot. I'll ask a few of the ones I know to get in touch with you.
SK: Tell me about delivering beer. Are you treated as a hero everywhere you go? Do you get to wear shorts, even in the wintertime? I want to grok everything about it.
IM: We don't have a real wintertime here in Southwest Florida. I've gotten to be such a baby about the weather. I'm miserable when it's below 75 degrees. I'm in and out of coolers all day, which kind of sucks, but I'm working my ass off so it doesn't really bother me too much. I do wear shorts all year. I find working in long pants too restrictive with all the crouching I do. You'd think I'd tan a little, but those calves of mine still look like they're covered in whiteout. They're tight, though, so I guess it's okay. Beats tan chicken legs. I guess I get a little rock star treatment. I get some free drinks when I go out and some of the places I deliver to feed me. I still bring my lunch to work and eat it. I eat all fucking day when I'm at work. I'm like a bottomless pit. The only thing that it doesn't really help is with the ladies. Some of the guys I work with definitely use the uniform to their advantage. Me, I'm hopeless that way. Women will come up and flirt with me and I'll start talking about cartoons or zombie movies, you know, all the things that women find sensual. Maybe they have some preconceived notion about me because I have a lot of ink and drive a beer truck. They're probably not expecting to have a conversation about action figures when they approach me. It's whatever, anyway. I caught a pretty great fish a little over a year ago and I think I'll keep her if she'll have me.
SK: As an Irish ex-pat (ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! sniffle. sorry, that was just fucking brilliant.) do you miss the Old Sod? Do you remember it at all? Have any plans to get back there?
IM: I don't get it. Anyway, I don't really have this emotional attachment to the place I was born like a lot of people do. I don't know why, but to me, it's just some place where I used to live. Maybe it's because my childhood wasn't exactly idyllic, so I don't romanticize the background. Or maybe it's because I'm so Americanized now. I call American football just football and call football that horrible shit they show on ESPN every four years. I barely have an accent, although it comes back a little if I watch Father Ted or Gangs of New York. I do still keep a Shillelagh in my pocket, but that's about it as far as my old world habits.
Okay, here's what Ian really looks like. Uh...sort of?
About ONE UNDEAD STEP:
Good God, who WOULDN'T want to read that? A moron, that's who.
Many people know that the 1969 moon landing was faked, but are unaware of the actual circumstances. Find out how the U.S. faked the moon landing to avert the zombie apocalypse as the lives of a disgraced B-movie director, a bar owner, some drunks, an Army Ranger unit, a bunch of gangsters, an affluent but very dysfunctional family, and a few cops come together in ONE UNDEAD STEP.
One year after Romero shocked the world with Night of the Living Dead, a small city is rocked by grisly killings, the gory details of which are only known through whispered rumors. The government presence that makes the populace all the more nervous is unable to contain the impending threat that grows out of control on a hot, humid night in Mid-July. As the city’s residents fight for their lives, the Military rushes to make a film about two men landing a small spacecraft on the moon. Will their plan work? Find out as an evil man finds redemption, some soldiers choose between their mission and duty, a young couple finds forbidden love, an older couple reignites their passion, and a bartender gets stiffed for lots of drinks in ONE UNDEAD STEP.
Ian McClellan! Let's meet him now. And interview him! Also, ONE UNDEAD STEP! Rave reviews!
About Ian McClellan:
Swear to God this is the promotional image he gave me. You people think I fuck around with my guests, but really, it's my guests who fuck around with me. Yeah, I'm talking about you, too, Warren Fielding, with the stick figure.Ian McClellan was born in a small harbor town in southwest Ireland. In an effort to be cliche his parents moved the family to New York when he was thirteen. Once a promising up-and-comer in the world of competitive eating, his career was cut short by an ACL injury. He now resides in Florida with his dogs and drives a truck for a living, but is crossing his fingers and hoping his writing career will earn him enough money that he can tell his boss where to stick it.
Interview
SK: A fan has famously said of your novel ONE UNDEAD STEP, “OK, well I've read the first 5 chapters. I nearly had to cut my hands off to stop myself reading more.” Had this poor unfortunate actually followed through with his plan, would you have felt obliged to pay the medical bills?
IM: I don't know, man. How much are we talking here? I'm a pretty no frills kind of guy. I'm not going in on fancy robotic hands and shit like that for the guy. If he keeps it simple like I would, I'll consider chipping in. Ever seen Kingpin? Something like that.
SK: So, in my guest policy I specifically mentioned wanting to talk to a beer truck driver, and yet I had to seek YOU out for this interview. How is that supposed to make ME feel?
IM: Sorry, but I totally missed that. Being a beer truck driver isn't as great as you might think. Sure, I make good money, and get a lot of beer for free, and chicks that are way out of my league flirt with me all the time, but no one really cares about the real Ian. It's all about the uniform. Where's our parade, man?
SK: You are my first fellow Severed Press author (amputee?) to come on the blog! (Other Severed alums, please take note of the instant swell in Ian’s cachet as a result.) What’s it been like for you working with the Wonder from Down Under?
IM: Look, I really dig you, and I'm happy to be here and appreciate your having me, but I can assure you that there is no swelling in my crotch. Really, though, not one Severed Press author? Maybe they don't realize you're open to interviews and whatnot. I'll ask a few of the ones I know to get in touch with you.
SK: Tell me about delivering beer. Are you treated as a hero everywhere you go? Do you get to wear shorts, even in the wintertime? I want to grok everything about it.
IM: We don't have a real wintertime here in Southwest Florida. I've gotten to be such a baby about the weather. I'm miserable when it's below 75 degrees. I'm in and out of coolers all day, which kind of sucks, but I'm working my ass off so it doesn't really bother me too much. I do wear shorts all year. I find working in long pants too restrictive with all the crouching I do. You'd think I'd tan a little, but those calves of mine still look like they're covered in whiteout. They're tight, though, so I guess it's okay. Beats tan chicken legs. I guess I get a little rock star treatment. I get some free drinks when I go out and some of the places I deliver to feed me. I still bring my lunch to work and eat it. I eat all fucking day when I'm at work. I'm like a bottomless pit. The only thing that it doesn't really help is with the ladies. Some of the guys I work with definitely use the uniform to their advantage. Me, I'm hopeless that way. Women will come up and flirt with me and I'll start talking about cartoons or zombie movies, you know, all the things that women find sensual. Maybe they have some preconceived notion about me because I have a lot of ink and drive a beer truck. They're probably not expecting to have a conversation about action figures when they approach me. It's whatever, anyway. I caught a pretty great fish a little over a year ago and I think I'll keep her if she'll have me.
SK: As an Irish ex-pat (ha! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! sniffle. sorry, that was just fucking brilliant.) do you miss the Old Sod? Do you remember it at all? Have any plans to get back there?
IM: I don't get it. Anyway, I don't really have this emotional attachment to the place I was born like a lot of people do. I don't know why, but to me, it's just some place where I used to live. Maybe it's because my childhood wasn't exactly idyllic, so I don't romanticize the background. Or maybe it's because I'm so Americanized now. I call American football just football and call football that horrible shit they show on ESPN every four years. I barely have an accent, although it comes back a little if I watch Father Ted or Gangs of New York. I do still keep a Shillelagh in my pocket, but that's about it as far as my old world habits.
Okay, here's what Ian really looks like. Uh...sort of?About ONE UNDEAD STEP:
Good God, who WOULDN'T want to read that? A moron, that's who.Many people know that the 1969 moon landing was faked, but are unaware of the actual circumstances. Find out how the U.S. faked the moon landing to avert the zombie apocalypse as the lives of a disgraced B-movie director, a bar owner, some drunks, an Army Ranger unit, a bunch of gangsters, an affluent but very dysfunctional family, and a few cops come together in ONE UNDEAD STEP.
One year after Romero shocked the world with Night of the Living Dead, a small city is rocked by grisly killings, the gory details of which are only known through whispered rumors. The government presence that makes the populace all the more nervous is unable to contain the impending threat that grows out of control on a hot, humid night in Mid-July. As the city’s residents fight for their lives, the Military rushes to make a film about two men landing a small spacecraft on the moon. Will their plan work? Find out as an evil man finds redemption, some soldiers choose between their mission and duty, a young couple finds forbidden love, an older couple reignites their passion, and a bartender gets stiffed for lots of drinks in ONE UNDEAD STEP.
August 27, 2014
Life, Death, and Love: An Interview with the Poetic Zombie (aka A. Giacomi)
Hello, boils and ghouls! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Today we've got a great guest, just smashing. A. Giacomi, perhaps better known as the Poetic Zombie, is gracing us with her presence today to tell us a little bit about her life before her upcoming EVE BRENNER: ZOMBIE GIRL books are released and she gains instant superstar status. So, let's take a quick minute to meet the educator, mother, and author, and then jump right into the interview.
About A. Giacomi:
A. Giacomi is the author of the upcoming EVE BRENNER: ZOMBIE GIRL series from Permuted Press. She is an educator, writer, and artist from Toronto, Canada. This zombie enthusiast is also a wife, and mother to one small human child.
You can find out more about her on Twitter, Facebook, and her official blog
Interview
SK: You are famously nicknamed the Poetic Zombie. Where did that come from?
AG: Well I love poetry (I’m kind of a sap) and I love zombies, the two don’t go together at all, I’m painfully aware of this and yet I can’t help what I fall in love with. Poetry is all about life, death and love…and zombies, well, at least the first two. You put two of my obsessions together and bang! you have the Poetic Zombie! Anyone who knows me knows these are the two things I talk endlessly about. I also give my little brother half credit too since he said I should definitely use this nickname for my blog.
SK: I feel that facing the day as a first grade teacher would not be very different from taking on a horde of the slavering undead. How do you prepare?
AG: Ha ha great question but I must say those little critters have too much energy to be considered zombies. The teachers might in fact be the zombies. I know that I resemble one without my morning coffee. The kids know when I’ve had my coffee, I look “less tired and old” their words not mine lol. Plus did you know that first graders like zombies? They always ask if I do too, and of course I reply yessssss, with so much excitement that I may in fact resemble one of them. I think I failed at growing up.
One piece of advice I can give anyone dealing with a horde of first graders is if you’re surrounded always promise them popsicles and they’ll forget everything else and comply lol.
SK: Would you care for some capicola?
AG: Yes actually I wouldn’t mind some. I’m half Italian after all and it’s delicious. It’s made up of capo and collo, the head and neck of the pig. Sound right up zombie gals alley!
SK: Tell us a little about your imaginary relationship with Katy Perry. Would you be friends? Frenemies? Lovers? How would a typical day in the life go?
AG: Oh my I love that girl. I find her quirkiness adorable, her songs intoxicatingly sweet, and well she’s gorgeous! I want to so badly be her BFF, not in a creepy way, but I think we have a similar sense of humour so we’d get along smashingly! Now I just have to meet her :D
SK: What's Canada like? (Please answer in the form of a tweet, hashtags and all.)
AG: #winteriscoming #landofbeerandbacon #putmaplesyruponeverything #soniceithurts
#ryangosling need I really say more?
Today we've got a great guest, just smashing. A. Giacomi, perhaps better known as the Poetic Zombie, is gracing us with her presence today to tell us a little bit about her life before her upcoming EVE BRENNER: ZOMBIE GIRL books are released and she gains instant superstar status. So, let's take a quick minute to meet the educator, mother, and author, and then jump right into the interview.
About A. Giacomi:
A. Giacomi is the author of the upcoming EVE BRENNER: ZOMBIE GIRL series from Permuted Press. She is an educator, writer, and artist from Toronto, Canada. This zombie enthusiast is also a wife, and mother to one small human child.
You can find out more about her on Twitter, Facebook, and her official blog
Interview
SK: You are famously nicknamed the Poetic Zombie. Where did that come from?
AG: Well I love poetry (I’m kind of a sap) and I love zombies, the two don’t go together at all, I’m painfully aware of this and yet I can’t help what I fall in love with. Poetry is all about life, death and love…and zombies, well, at least the first two. You put two of my obsessions together and bang! you have the Poetic Zombie! Anyone who knows me knows these are the two things I talk endlessly about. I also give my little brother half credit too since he said I should definitely use this nickname for my blog.
SK: I feel that facing the day as a first grade teacher would not be very different from taking on a horde of the slavering undead. How do you prepare?
AG: Ha ha great question but I must say those little critters have too much energy to be considered zombies. The teachers might in fact be the zombies. I know that I resemble one without my morning coffee. The kids know when I’ve had my coffee, I look “less tired and old” their words not mine lol. Plus did you know that first graders like zombies? They always ask if I do too, and of course I reply yessssss, with so much excitement that I may in fact resemble one of them. I think I failed at growing up.
One piece of advice I can give anyone dealing with a horde of first graders is if you’re surrounded always promise them popsicles and they’ll forget everything else and comply lol.
SK: Would you care for some capicola?
AG: Yes actually I wouldn’t mind some. I’m half Italian after all and it’s delicious. It’s made up of capo and collo, the head and neck of the pig. Sound right up zombie gals alley!
SK: Tell us a little about your imaginary relationship with Katy Perry. Would you be friends? Frenemies? Lovers? How would a typical day in the life go?
AG: Oh my I love that girl. I find her quirkiness adorable, her songs intoxicatingly sweet, and well she’s gorgeous! I want to so badly be her BFF, not in a creepy way, but I think we have a similar sense of humour so we’d get along smashingly! Now I just have to meet her :D
SK: What's Canada like? (Please answer in the form of a tweet, hashtags and all.)
AG: #winteriscoming #landofbeerandbacon #putmaplesyruponeverything #soniceithurts
#ryangosling need I really say more?
August 25, 2014
Dueling Ice Buckets
So, here, as you've all no doubt seen by now, is Sir Patrick Stewart's rousing ALS ice bucket challenge, date stamped August 22, 2014.
Presented here, without comment, is the same challenge from a somewhat less renowned star of stage and screen, date stamped August 20, 2014.
Presented here, without comment, is the same challenge from a somewhat less renowned star of stage and screen, date stamped August 20, 2014.
August 22, 2014
The Dark Half of the Spooky Twins: An Interview with Tonia Brown, Author of SUNDOWNERS
Willkommen, meine kleine Katzen und Hunden! Today we have a very special treat on the blog. Since I know you're all tired of hearing what I think about dumb shit, I've enlisted the aid of the talented Tonia Brown to give you all a break. Tonia is the author of the brand spankin' new horror novel SUNDOWNERS and...but perhaps I've already said too much! So, first let's meet the author, and then we'll dive right in with some incisive and perhaps even insightful interview questions.
About Tonia Brown:
Tonia Brown is a southern author with a penchant for Victorian dead things. She is the author of BADASS ZOMBIE ROAD TRIP, LUCKY STIFF, RAILROAD, and many others. She lives in the backwoods of North Carolina with her genius husband and an ever fluctuating number of cats. She likes fudgesicles and coffee, though not always together. When not writing she raises unicorns and fights crime with her husband under the code names Dr. Weird and his sexy sidekick Butternut.
You can find out more about her on Twitter, Facebook, or her website.
Interview
SK: I understand that you are Brian Keene’s #2 fan in the world and you recently got to meet him. Would you care to glurge for a moment?
TB: Meeting Mr. Keene was awesome. He was very laid back and cool. He was also supportive and encouraging. I’ve met a number of writers in my time doing conventions, and I have to say, he has been one of the nicest folks so far.
SK: If you and your sister were in the WWE together, what would your team name be?
TB: Spooky Twins. My brother-in-law, Donald, drew this logo for us.
Wow, that is...seriously freaking me out.
SK: Why do you think The Beatles are so wildly overrated?
TB: Overrated? You are dead to me. DEAD TO ME!
SK: You are profanely, ludicrously prolific. Your CV is, like, ridiculous. I just kind of gave up about halfway through. So why don’t you just tell us, if I walked into Plato’s cave right now, and the shadow on the wall was of a Tonia Brown story, which story would it be?
TB: Good gosh, I don’t know. Maybe BADASS ZOMBIE ROAD TRIP. I love that story. It’s got a zombie and a stripper and Satan. What’s not to love?
SK: Imagine if you suddenly Quantum Leaped into the body of Johnny Unitas during the ’58 Championship. (Kids still know what Quantum Leap is, right? Yeah, yeah, I’m sure they do.) Okay. So your brain and your reflexes and stuff are still you. But you have the body of Johnny Unitas. Do you still play, even knowing how you’re going to change history if you suck? And if not, what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
TB: First of all, I had to look up Johnny Unitas. Not a big football fan here. So um, I probably wouldn’t play. I’d fake pulling a hammy or something. I wouldn’t want to wreck the guy’s career on my lousy knowledge of feet balls. Of course, if Al were to guide me along, I might be able to pull it off. Rely on my team mates to carry the weight, that sort of thing.
About SUNDOWNERS:
This seriously just freaks me the balls out every time I see it. What is it? Like Venom's evil stepbrother or what?
SUNDOWNERS is a backwoods southern horror about the importance of family, the power of gossip and the nature of the artistic muse.
Fifteen years ago, siblings Coil and Cassiopeia suffered an incident in the woods behind their family home. Now, fifteen years later, the self-exiled Coil has come home to deal with his world famous sister as she suffers from sundowning; severe and violent personality shifts after the sun sets. In order to cure Cass, the pair of siblings must come to terms with their old demons, both figuratively and literally. They find an ancient and terrible horror has risen once more from the backwoods of the family home, and this time it threatens to not only tear their family apart, but also the small town of Ellenville, and perhaps the entire world.
You can purchase it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smashwords.
About Tonia Brown:
Tonia Brown is a southern author with a penchant for Victorian dead things. She is the author of BADASS ZOMBIE ROAD TRIP, LUCKY STIFF, RAILROAD, and many others. She lives in the backwoods of North Carolina with her genius husband and an ever fluctuating number of cats. She likes fudgesicles and coffee, though not always together. When not writing she raises unicorns and fights crime with her husband under the code names Dr. Weird and his sexy sidekick Butternut.
You can find out more about her on Twitter, Facebook, or her website.
Interview
SK: I understand that you are Brian Keene’s #2 fan in the world and you recently got to meet him. Would you care to glurge for a moment?
TB: Meeting Mr. Keene was awesome. He was very laid back and cool. He was also supportive and encouraging. I’ve met a number of writers in my time doing conventions, and I have to say, he has been one of the nicest folks so far.
SK: If you and your sister were in the WWE together, what would your team name be?
TB: Spooky Twins. My brother-in-law, Donald, drew this logo for us.
Wow, that is...seriously freaking me out.SK: Why do you think The Beatles are so wildly overrated?
TB: Overrated? You are dead to me. DEAD TO ME!
SK: You are profanely, ludicrously prolific. Your CV is, like, ridiculous. I just kind of gave up about halfway through. So why don’t you just tell us, if I walked into Plato’s cave right now, and the shadow on the wall was of a Tonia Brown story, which story would it be?
TB: Good gosh, I don’t know. Maybe BADASS ZOMBIE ROAD TRIP. I love that story. It’s got a zombie and a stripper and Satan. What’s not to love?
SK: Imagine if you suddenly Quantum Leaped into the body of Johnny Unitas during the ’58 Championship. (Kids still know what Quantum Leap is, right? Yeah, yeah, I’m sure they do.) Okay. So your brain and your reflexes and stuff are still you. But you have the body of Johnny Unitas. Do you still play, even knowing how you’re going to change history if you suck? And if not, what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
TB: First of all, I had to look up Johnny Unitas. Not a big football fan here. So um, I probably wouldn’t play. I’d fake pulling a hammy or something. I wouldn’t want to wreck the guy’s career on my lousy knowledge of feet balls. Of course, if Al were to guide me along, I might be able to pull it off. Rely on my team mates to carry the weight, that sort of thing.
About SUNDOWNERS:
This seriously just freaks me the balls out every time I see it. What is it? Like Venom's evil stepbrother or what?SUNDOWNERS is a backwoods southern horror about the importance of family, the power of gossip and the nature of the artistic muse.
Fifteen years ago, siblings Coil and Cassiopeia suffered an incident in the woods behind their family home. Now, fifteen years later, the self-exiled Coil has come home to deal with his world famous sister as she suffers from sundowning; severe and violent personality shifts after the sun sets. In order to cure Cass, the pair of siblings must come to terms with their old demons, both figuratively and literally. They find an ancient and terrible horror has risen once more from the backwoods of the family home, and this time it threatens to not only tear their family apart, but also the small town of Ellenville, and perhaps the entire world.
You can purchase it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smashwords.
August 20, 2014
B£g M¢n€¥ $t€v£€: An Interview With Stevie Kopas, Author of the BREADWINNER Trilogy
Howdy, blogocrats and blogpublicans! I'm very pleased to have New Jersey (sigh) native and zombie author Stevie Kopas on the blog today! Stevie has been blowing up the interwebz recently with her...shall we say...very UNUSUAL engagement story, so I thought I'd capitalize on...I mean, help congratulate her by inviting her to be on the blog today! Let's meet the legend herself, and then jump right into the interview!
About Stevie Kopas:
"Knitted Cap Queen" - Stevie's caption, not mine
Stevie Kopas is a fast talking, long haired, caffeine guzzling Jersey Girl. She plays video games, likes tattoos and thinks it's perfectly acceptable to have a conversation with someone by yelling back and forth across the street at one another. She's the author of The Breadwinner Trilogy, a post-apocalyptic zombie series and the Managing Editor of Horror Metal Sounds. She lives in Florida with a man and two dogs where they frequent the beach and marathon watch television shows.
You can find out more about Stevie on Twitter, Google Plus, her Amazon Author Page, her author website, or the Horror Metal Sounds website.
Interview
Q: I understand you’ve recently gone through certain…life changes. Would you care to tell us a little more about that and how it came about?
A: I sure have! I'm off the market fellas. I was proposed to last Friday by a stranger outside of Dunkin Donuts and being that I've never been married, I thought, why the hell not? You can read about my awesome life changing decision on Kotaku because it's actually a pretty sweet little story about two nerdy kids falling in love and then bragging about it on the internet.
Q: “Steve” is short for “Stephen” and “Koz” is short for “Kozeniewski.” Is “Stevie” short for something? Also, what does it feel like having such an excellent name? It means “crowned one,” you know.
A: I did know it means crowned one, my father's name is Stefan. But I wasn't named for him, I was named for Stevie Nicks because my parents are rad like that. Stevie is in fact short for "amazing woman" and it feels pretty excellent, as you should know, because we seem to talk about our names all the time. I'm beginning to feel like we might be a little bit snooty or something.
Q: Speaking of Steves, I understand you’ve poached another rather high-profile Steve for your audiobook. (Don’t ask me how I know this. I have connections.) Would you care to tell us a little about the audiobook process and why you selected our dear friend Rimpici?
A: Sigh, I sadly haven't exactly poached him yet. I'm still waiting on him to turn in his second audition. I would love to choose him. And my reasons for choosing him are because his narration skills are superb and I like what I've heard so far. So HEY STEVE IF YOU'RE READING THIS PLEASE SUBMIT THAT AUDITION WE TALKED ABOUT, THANKS MAN! But yeah, the audiobook process has been a nightmare for me. I'm really picky and that is a blessing and a curse. Couple that with the fact that people don't like to follow up after they audition, they leave me hanging or they just flat out ignore me. I guess I'll never understand people that don't like making money.
Q: What makes something “metal?” Am I “metal?” What about Gordon Lightfoot?
A: Well, metal is traditionally a class of elementary substances such as gold, silver or copper...oh wait...are we not talking about that are we?
I'm no expert, but in my opinion, something is metal if it makes me happy even though it sounds angry. Also if I'm driving and I wanna yell "Yeah, fuck you!" when I'm having a bad day. I don't think you sound very angry and you haven't made me want to yell fuck at anyone, but you can be metal if you want. Gordon Lightfoot is metal because when I was a child my mom kept singing "The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald" while we were on vacation and pissed my father off.
Q: What one interview question do you hope you never get asked again? Feel free to ask it to yourself…and then don’t answer it.
A: Why did you decide to leave your last job?
About THE BREADWINNER:
The end of the world may not be glamorous but this cover sure as shit is.
The end of the world is not glamorous. In a matter of days the human race was reduced to nothing more than vicious, flesh hungry creatures. This three part story takes you into the world of the survivors, coming from different generations and different sides of the tracks, they all share one thing in common: who you once were can no longer determine who you will be in the face of catastrophe.
Samson, a once wealthy and powerful criminal defense attorney struggles to keep his family safe and keep his sanity intact when the world comes apart at the seams. Veronica, the high school track star races to get her brother out of the city and into the safety of Franklin Woods. Along the way we come across the struggles of finding solace, finding out who you really are, and making decisions in a post apocalyptic world. THE BREADWINNER is a three part story and the first book in a planned series that will leave you craving more.
You can find out more by going to THE BREADWINNER Trilogy Official Site, THE BREADWINNER Trilogy Facebook Fan Page, THE BREADWINNER Goodreads Page, or the sequel HAVEN's Goodreads Page.
About Stevie Kopas:
"Knitted Cap Queen" - Stevie's caption, not mineStevie Kopas is a fast talking, long haired, caffeine guzzling Jersey Girl. She plays video games, likes tattoos and thinks it's perfectly acceptable to have a conversation with someone by yelling back and forth across the street at one another. She's the author of The Breadwinner Trilogy, a post-apocalyptic zombie series and the Managing Editor of Horror Metal Sounds. She lives in Florida with a man and two dogs where they frequent the beach and marathon watch television shows.
You can find out more about Stevie on Twitter, Google Plus, her Amazon Author Page, her author website, or the Horror Metal Sounds website.
Interview
Q: I understand you’ve recently gone through certain…life changes. Would you care to tell us a little more about that and how it came about?
A: I sure have! I'm off the market fellas. I was proposed to last Friday by a stranger outside of Dunkin Donuts and being that I've never been married, I thought, why the hell not? You can read about my awesome life changing decision on Kotaku because it's actually a pretty sweet little story about two nerdy kids falling in love and then bragging about it on the internet.
Q: “Steve” is short for “Stephen” and “Koz” is short for “Kozeniewski.” Is “Stevie” short for something? Also, what does it feel like having such an excellent name? It means “crowned one,” you know.
A: I did know it means crowned one, my father's name is Stefan. But I wasn't named for him, I was named for Stevie Nicks because my parents are rad like that. Stevie is in fact short for "amazing woman" and it feels pretty excellent, as you should know, because we seem to talk about our names all the time. I'm beginning to feel like we might be a little bit snooty or something.
Q: Speaking of Steves, I understand you’ve poached another rather high-profile Steve for your audiobook. (Don’t ask me how I know this. I have connections.) Would you care to tell us a little about the audiobook process and why you selected our dear friend Rimpici?
A: Sigh, I sadly haven't exactly poached him yet. I'm still waiting on him to turn in his second audition. I would love to choose him. And my reasons for choosing him are because his narration skills are superb and I like what I've heard so far. So HEY STEVE IF YOU'RE READING THIS PLEASE SUBMIT THAT AUDITION WE TALKED ABOUT, THANKS MAN! But yeah, the audiobook process has been a nightmare for me. I'm really picky and that is a blessing and a curse. Couple that with the fact that people don't like to follow up after they audition, they leave me hanging or they just flat out ignore me. I guess I'll never understand people that don't like making money.
Q: What makes something “metal?” Am I “metal?” What about Gordon Lightfoot?
A: Well, metal is traditionally a class of elementary substances such as gold, silver or copper...oh wait...are we not talking about that are we?
I'm no expert, but in my opinion, something is metal if it makes me happy even though it sounds angry. Also if I'm driving and I wanna yell "Yeah, fuck you!" when I'm having a bad day. I don't think you sound very angry and you haven't made me want to yell fuck at anyone, but you can be metal if you want. Gordon Lightfoot is metal because when I was a child my mom kept singing "The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald" while we were on vacation and pissed my father off.
Q: What one interview question do you hope you never get asked again? Feel free to ask it to yourself…and then don’t answer it.
A: Why did you decide to leave your last job?
About THE BREADWINNER:
The end of the world may not be glamorous but this cover sure as shit is.The end of the world is not glamorous. In a matter of days the human race was reduced to nothing more than vicious, flesh hungry creatures. This three part story takes you into the world of the survivors, coming from different generations and different sides of the tracks, they all share one thing in common: who you once were can no longer determine who you will be in the face of catastrophe.
Samson, a once wealthy and powerful criminal defense attorney struggles to keep his family safe and keep his sanity intact when the world comes apart at the seams. Veronica, the high school track star races to get her brother out of the city and into the safety of Franklin Woods. Along the way we come across the struggles of finding solace, finding out who you really are, and making decisions in a post apocalyptic world. THE BREADWINNER is a three part story and the first book in a planned series that will leave you craving more.
You can find out more by going to THE BREADWINNER Trilogy Official Site, THE BREADWINNER Trilogy Facebook Fan Page, THE BREADWINNER Goodreads Page, or the sequel HAVEN's Goodreads Page.
August 18, 2014
The Trifecta Trifecta
Hey, everybody! I love reviewers. I really do. Professional reviewers, amateur reviewers, even just readers who occasionally log in to Amazon. Good, bad, indifferent, I love anyone who takes the time to review something, especially something I wrote. I've explained before why reviews of all stripes are so important to burgeoning authors, so I won't rehash that. You guys are simply the best.
This past Sunday something really neat happened. A reviewer achieved the coveted Koz Trifecta - reviewing BRAINEATER JONES, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS - and I realized he was the third reviewer who had done so. EVER. So I have a trifecta trifecta! Let's meet this lucky and generous crew now, and as for the rest of you, make sure you get out there and support them:
Sharon Stevenson
Sharon Stevenson is the twisted mind behind the GALLOWS novels and the AFTER DEATH series. If you want to know a bit about her, here it is: she spends too much time indoors and probably watches too many horror films. Some of her favourite things are: alone time, people who know when to shut up, having a drink, eating pizza (usually after having too much drink the night before), reading books, adult swim cartoons, bad horror and sci-fi movies, proper good TV shows like Dexter & The Walking Dead, and last but not least having a laugh with her hilarious other half – this would usually include some of the above.
You can find Sharon on Twitter, Facebook, and her blog.
And here are the links to Sharon's completed trifecta: BRAINEATER JONES, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS
Patrick D'Orazio
Patrick D'Orazio resides in southwestern Ohio with his wife, Michele, two children, Alexandra and Zachary, and two spastic dogs. He has been writing since he was a teenager but only recently clued into the fact that unless he attempted to get published, no one else would care. Approximately fifteen of his short stories appear or will be appearing in various anthologies from Library of the Living Dead, Library of Horror, Library of Bizarro Horror, Library of Erotic Horror, Library of Science Fiction, Library of Fantasy, Pill Hill Press, May December Publications, Dark Silo Press, and NorGus Press. Patrick's zombie apocalypse DARK trilogy was originally released by The Library of the Living Dead Press, and is made up of COMES THE DARK, INTO THE DARK, and BEYOND THE DARK. It was re-released, with the addition of “Dark Stories,” which are short stories tied into the books (both old and new ones) in 2013 by Permuted Press.
You can find Patrick on Twitter and his blog.
And here are the links to Patrick's completed trifecta: BRAINEATER JONES, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS
Sylvia Babaglio
Sylvia began reading before the age of four and was lucky enough to grow up in a house with a library. Her parents instituted the rule that she and her sister were allowed to read any book they could reach, so they learned how to climb the shelves. It seems Adams and Tolkien and King were far more interesting that Dr. Seuss (even if he had better pictures). While she is always seeking to procure and read new books, she has a habit of re-reading old favorites like Dickson’s THE DRAGON AND THE GEORGE once a year or so. Sylvia is happy to interrupt her reading to work at a children’s museum during the day and play stage hand and spotlight operator for burlesque shows at night. Working with such a wide array of people gives her ample fodder for her quote collection, much of which is posted on her Twitter account.
You can find Sylvia on Twitter and the Bookshelf Bombshells website.
And here are the links to Sylvia's completed trifecta: BRAINEATER JONES, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS
***
Thanks to each of our heroes. Who will be the next to join their hallowed ranks? Will it be YOU?
This past Sunday something really neat happened. A reviewer achieved the coveted Koz Trifecta - reviewing BRAINEATER JONES, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS - and I realized he was the third reviewer who had done so. EVER. So I have a trifecta trifecta! Let's meet this lucky and generous crew now, and as for the rest of you, make sure you get out there and support them:
Sharon Stevenson
Sharon Stevenson is the twisted mind behind the GALLOWS novels and the AFTER DEATH series. If you want to know a bit about her, here it is: she spends too much time indoors and probably watches too many horror films. Some of her favourite things are: alone time, people who know when to shut up, having a drink, eating pizza (usually after having too much drink the night before), reading books, adult swim cartoons, bad horror and sci-fi movies, proper good TV shows like Dexter & The Walking Dead, and last but not least having a laugh with her hilarious other half – this would usually include some of the above.
You can find Sharon on Twitter, Facebook, and her blog.
And here are the links to Sharon's completed trifecta: BRAINEATER JONES, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS
Patrick D'Orazio
Patrick D'Orazio resides in southwestern Ohio with his wife, Michele, two children, Alexandra and Zachary, and two spastic dogs. He has been writing since he was a teenager but only recently clued into the fact that unless he attempted to get published, no one else would care. Approximately fifteen of his short stories appear or will be appearing in various anthologies from Library of the Living Dead, Library of Horror, Library of Bizarro Horror, Library of Erotic Horror, Library of Science Fiction, Library of Fantasy, Pill Hill Press, May December Publications, Dark Silo Press, and NorGus Press. Patrick's zombie apocalypse DARK trilogy was originally released by The Library of the Living Dead Press, and is made up of COMES THE DARK, INTO THE DARK, and BEYOND THE DARK. It was re-released, with the addition of “Dark Stories,” which are short stories tied into the books (both old and new ones) in 2013 by Permuted Press.
You can find Patrick on Twitter and his blog.
And here are the links to Patrick's completed trifecta: BRAINEATER JONES, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS
Sylvia Babaglio
Sylvia began reading before the age of four and was lucky enough to grow up in a house with a library. Her parents instituted the rule that she and her sister were allowed to read any book they could reach, so they learned how to climb the shelves. It seems Adams and Tolkien and King were far more interesting that Dr. Seuss (even if he had better pictures). While she is always seeking to procure and read new books, she has a habit of re-reading old favorites like Dickson’s THE DRAGON AND THE GEORGE once a year or so. Sylvia is happy to interrupt her reading to work at a children’s museum during the day and play stage hand and spotlight operator for burlesque shows at night. Working with such a wide array of people gives her ample fodder for her quote collection, much of which is posted on her Twitter account.
You can find Sylvia on Twitter and the Bookshelf Bombshells website.
And here are the links to Sylvia's completed trifecta: BRAINEATER JONES, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS
***
Thanks to each of our heroes. Who will be the next to join their hallowed ranks? Will it be YOU?
August 15, 2014
Doctor Who vs. The Who (Guest Post by Traci Borum, Author of PAINTING THE MOON)
Today I'm very pleased to host fellow Red Adept Publishing author Traci Borum, who has recently released her debut women's fiction novel PAINTING THE MOON: A CHILTON CROSSE NOVEL! Be sure to hang around until the end because our mutual publisher is generously hosting a giveaway for this blog tour.
Traci has agreed to settle once and for all the ultimate debate:
I understand you're quite the Anglophile so I'll pose the eternal question: Doctor Who or The Who?
TB: Ha! I love this question. It’s a tough one, but I’d probably have to go with Doctor Who. My Anglophilia (is that even a word?) (SK: yes) leans more heavily toward British TV than music. I can blame PBS for that. Yeah, I know how stuffy PBS sounds, but that’s where I started getting a taste for dry British humor, with shows like Monty Python, The Vicar of Dibley, and later on, Miranda.
But it’s actually the PBS dramas that influenced my novels the most: Monarch of the Glen, Ballykissangel, Lark Rise to Candleford. They have these cozy, small-village settings, but with quirky characters and lots of potential for drama and humor and even some mystery.
Looking back on it, I suppose all my PBS-watching could be considered research for my novels. I picked up on the lingo without even realizing it (“redundant” instead of “getting fired”; “gobsmacked” instead of “stunned”; “chips” instead of “French fries”; “Bob’s your uncle,” instead of… well, I’m still not completely sure about that one).
It seems I’ve veered off topic from the Who vs. Who explanation by not even talking about Doctor Who at all! So, I’ll sum up by saying that what I like most about the show is the revolving door of the Doctor’s casting, which keeps things interesting. Just don’t ask me to decide which Doctor I prefer. That’s a whole ‘nother blog entry…
(SK: No need for another blog entry, Traci. We can clear that up right now.)
The only Doctor who counts
About the Author:
Traci Borum is a writing teacher and native Texan. She’s also an avid reader of women’s fiction, most especially Elin Hilderbrand and Rosamunde Pilcher novels. Since the age of 12, she’s written poetry, short stories, magazine articles, and novels.
Traci also adores all things British. She even owns a British dog (Corgi) and is completely addicted to Masterpiece Theater–must be all those dreamy accents! Aside from having big dreams of getting a book published, it’s the little things that make her the happiest: deep talks with friends, a strong cup of hot chocolate, a hearty game of fetch with her Corgi, and puffy white Texas clouds always reminding her to “look up, slow down, enjoy your life.”
You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, or her blog.
Synopsis of PAINTING THE MOON:
When Noelle Cooke inherits a quaint English cottage and an art gallery from her famous Aunt Joy, she welcomes a departure from her San Diego routine. But the lure of the Cotswolds, combined with a locked cottage room and a revealing journal, entice her to stay and discover more, including a way to save the gallery from financial ruin. And that means remaining in England.
When her childhood sweetheart, Adam Spencer, begins work on a restoration project in Noelle’s village, their friendship blossoms. But as her feelings for Adam deepen, she struggles with memories of what might have been and yearns for a future once thought lost. Faced with a life-altering revelation Aunt Joy took to her grave and a wrenching choice regarding the man she loves, Noelle could lose far more than her heart.
Excerpt from PAINTING THE MOON
Be sure to purchase PAINTING THE MOON at:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Kobo
Google Play
iBookstore
And don't forget to review it and tell your friends about it on:
Goodreads
http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/0510ed55/" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway
Traci has agreed to settle once and for all the ultimate debate:
I understand you're quite the Anglophile so I'll pose the eternal question: Doctor Who or The Who?
TB: Ha! I love this question. It’s a tough one, but I’d probably have to go with Doctor Who. My Anglophilia (is that even a word?) (SK: yes) leans more heavily toward British TV than music. I can blame PBS for that. Yeah, I know how stuffy PBS sounds, but that’s where I started getting a taste for dry British humor, with shows like Monty Python, The Vicar of Dibley, and later on, Miranda.
But it’s actually the PBS dramas that influenced my novels the most: Monarch of the Glen, Ballykissangel, Lark Rise to Candleford. They have these cozy, small-village settings, but with quirky characters and lots of potential for drama and humor and even some mystery.
Looking back on it, I suppose all my PBS-watching could be considered research for my novels. I picked up on the lingo without even realizing it (“redundant” instead of “getting fired”; “gobsmacked” instead of “stunned”; “chips” instead of “French fries”; “Bob’s your uncle,” instead of… well, I’m still not completely sure about that one).
It seems I’ve veered off topic from the Who vs. Who explanation by not even talking about Doctor Who at all! So, I’ll sum up by saying that what I like most about the show is the revolving door of the Doctor’s casting, which keeps things interesting. Just don’t ask me to decide which Doctor I prefer. That’s a whole ‘nother blog entry…
(SK: No need for another blog entry, Traci. We can clear that up right now.)
The only Doctor who countsAbout the Author:
Traci Borum is a writing teacher and native Texan. She’s also an avid reader of women’s fiction, most especially Elin Hilderbrand and Rosamunde Pilcher novels. Since the age of 12, she’s written poetry, short stories, magazine articles, and novels.Traci also adores all things British. She even owns a British dog (Corgi) and is completely addicted to Masterpiece Theater–must be all those dreamy accents! Aside from having big dreams of getting a book published, it’s the little things that make her the happiest: deep talks with friends, a strong cup of hot chocolate, a hearty game of fetch with her Corgi, and puffy white Texas clouds always reminding her to “look up, slow down, enjoy your life.”
You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, or her blog.
Synopsis of PAINTING THE MOON:
When Noelle Cooke inherits a quaint English cottage and an art gallery from her famous Aunt Joy, she welcomes a departure from her San Diego routine. But the lure of the Cotswolds, combined with a locked cottage room and a revealing journal, entice her to stay and discover more, including a way to save the gallery from financial ruin. And that means remaining in England.
When her childhood sweetheart, Adam Spencer, begins work on a restoration project in Noelle’s village, their friendship blossoms. But as her feelings for Adam deepen, she struggles with memories of what might have been and yearns for a future once thought lost. Faced with a life-altering revelation Aunt Joy took to her grave and a wrenching choice regarding the man she loves, Noelle could lose far more than her heart.
Excerpt from PAINTING THE MOON
Be sure to purchase PAINTING THE MOON at:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Kobo
Google Play
iBookstore
And don't forget to review it and tell your friends about it on:
Goodreads
http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/0510ed55/" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway
August 13, 2014
Please Vote for me in the 2014 Masters of the Macabre Competition!
I'm very pleased to announce that I've been selected as a finalist for the 2014 Master of the Macabre challenge, hosted by Horror Addicts. I had to write and record a horror story incorporating the following elements:
Location: London
Item: Gasoline
Creature Origin: A Child’s bedroom
You can listen to my story "The Thing Under the Bed" here (at the 48 minute mark) or read it here.
After you have, please send an e-mail to horroraddicts (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject line "MMM" and in the body say you want to vote for me. Thanks everybody!
