Ina Disguise's Blog: New blog, page 48

Dear Shyam

I’m not under anything resembling your control anymore, so I will use your name if I feel like it.

You are a disgusting, abusive individual.  You did not treat anybody else the way you treated me in that office, whilst making it abundantly clear that you were interested in me throughout via your usual method of deathstaring.

I am sorry that I do not find that attached men make great partners, so I had to avoid you after you played that hilarious gag.  I otherwise made every effort to avoid distracting you.

Don’t tell me you were applying established rules, because you certainly weren’t.  Nobody regards it as reasonable to have someone fired for trying to give you a book and for a very limited number of conversations in which you were totally disrespectful  of my status as a human, never mind colleague.

Your approach to managing me and a variety of other incidences imply that you are actually a sadist, so I can’t say you are guilty of false advertising, because I am sure you are delighted with your results.  I would list the things you have destroyed in my life, but my repellent family are waiting to attack me so I am unable to do so without putting myself at even more risk.

I am not sure if you are also a racist, but I cannot imagine why you thought any of this was OK to do to someone whose mother has recently been killed and who had every respect for you, to the point of recommending you on your first attempt at getting me fired.

You are a very sick puppy, and I think you should do something about it because it is not safe for anybody to work with you if this is how you behave.  No staff member of mine has ever been put through anything like this, nor would they ever be.  It is called having a character.  You might want to try one out and see what you think.

I think you should spend more time alone and drink more, and I think you should leave the girl alone.  She isn’t happy.  I know you like that, but she doesn’t, apparently.

Your manager may be daft enough to support your particular deviance, but I am not. The fact that the managers are reading the posts is actually your own fault, because I did not disclose my website to anybody and their interest in it is intrusive and quite offensive, actually.

I am deeply hurt by what you have done, and I will refrain from putting any faith in anyone again as a result.  If that is what you set out to achieve, then congrats.

You ticked a lot of boxes, so that pissed me off briefly, but I can’t help you with a personality transplant and it was never in my interest to impose my wishes on anybody. I am sorry if my lack of jealousy or my refraining from getting annoyed when you wanted me to upset you.  It just isn’t in my nature and it wouldn’t have been particularly productive.

Ina

 

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The Last Six Months

Has seen my mother murdered by NHS staff acting on vile orders in collusion with my siblings. The most expensive ice cream in the world from my eldest sister. I bet the others would love to know about that. The nasty old cow killed her mother with bitching.

Has seen me being in the top five in a company, to be told that I don’t fit in and must conform to fascist propaganda from America and pretend to be stupid to survive in the job.

Has seen me try very hard to live a normal life and utterly fail.

I have tried speaking to nobody, and I have tried making friends and neither worked.  I am apparently a shiny bauble to be smashed by morons.

I have written some great stories and amassed most of the equipment for a project I can no longer afford.

Tried to start a relationship with someone too sick to function like a normal adult. Tried to reroute from Wolfe and haven’t managed that.

Tried to help somebody and failed.  Tried to help other people and failed. Tried to make a female friend and evidently failed.

Quite enjoyed starting again, and failed.

This is not a good year.

Quite fed up now.

Asked myself a couple of times what Wolfe would say, and he said the problems wouldn’t stop until nobody wanted to fuck me anymore.  He was right.

 

 

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Notes on ‘The Professional’

Wolfe can testify to my love of small men, which is why I noticed all that. A large dude recently showed some interest, and I was utterly petrified.  I have had a complicated life.

At first I thought SB was feeling more confident, and I was quite happy, and then the other stuff became apparent.

Overall, his general aspect is one of fear and self hatred, which is a shame because he really is an incredibly beautiful man when he isn’t trying to belittle you to make himself feel better.

I am at fault, of course, because no matter what you do, you should never try to leave things better than you found them.

The management should be aware that I am quite well-connected, so this is not going to go under the radar.  Sorry about that. I cannot help any of you.  Here are the collected stories written for SB, with a lovely note for him.

 

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The Professional

The Professional – Ina Disguise

The last story for SB.   I would not want to live like you.

 

“What did you do last night?” the woman appeared to be smiling at him, but he increasingly found it difficult to tell what people really thought. They often appeared to be friendly, and then you would find they ignored you as they passed your desk, or some other indication of contempt.

“Watched a film.” The professional’s life was isolated unless he was drinking. Drinking made him feel better for a while, and as he got drunk rather easily, he numbed up quite quickly as a rule.

He quite liked people who had just started in the job, as they were nervous and frightened. Since this gave him an obvious advantage, they weren’t a threat yet. Hence he would spend time being seen to be helpful, so that they would stupidly trust him later, when they might pose more of a potential obstacle.

People threaten you in various ways, he found. Sometimes it was by challenging you, being too correct. Sometimes it was by appearing to be friendly and becoming intrusive. Sometimes they just failed to meet targets, and this was a threat because it impacted his spreadsheets. The danger was everywhere. Having bitten and scratched to get his two hundred and fifty pounds a day, he was not likely to want to give it up.

In response, the professional had taken to exerting control over smaller and smaller things, to the point of ensuring that people filled in information that nobody cared about or checked and delegating tasks that did not take him particularly long. In this way, his time was freed up for writing reports and destroying any potential competition. He also devoted time to making sure his bosses knew he could be depended upon.

The professional’s entire posture had become affected by this paranoia, to the point that his shoulders crouched forward and he superficially appeared to be quite small. This meant that he found it easier to conceal the expressions of contempt that frequently crossed his face as he interacted with people. Only someone watching out for it would notice the mask slipping, the blank expression replaced with a psychotic rage for a second before he carefully concealed it.

Now and again, a woman would become interested, and then she had to be neutralised. The one exception to this was a married woman he had successfully blackmailed into sleeping with him, whom he controlled by a combination of looming over her desk, issuing his instructions for the day, or ignoring anything she said, which he frequently did as she frantically tried to communicate with him. Women were objects of contempt. He despised peoples ‘attempts to help.’ They were usually threats, covered by some crazy person’s idea of helpfulness.

He did not imagine himself to be pleasant to work with. He imagined himself to be a true professional, and made use of every contractual point he could find to isolate and attack his victims. People who had found him friendly and pleasant would suddenly find themselves at the end of a corporate gun as he decimated any potential problems. This was survival. He was the fittest.

The professional kept on in this way for years. The staff would whisper to each other about it. People came and went at his whim.

And then she came.

She was an artist, although this meant nothing to him. She was an author, which meant he had to carefully scrutinise and reject everything she had to say. She liked him, which meant he would have to get rid of her. He stared at her, for days at a time, sizing her up for the kill, one way or another. Maybe she would enjoy pain?

She was funny for a while, trying to avoid him she would skirt around the outside of the office because she was so frightened of being accused of anything. She had made some involuntary pass at him, which had been extremely funny because he knew the minute she did that, he had the weapon he needed to destroy her.

He quite enjoyed feeling attractive. He started going to the gym in between drinks, updated his wardrobe, changed his hair. His entire posture improved until he appeared twice the size. He was happy to be looked at. He took to screwing the little married woman a bit more often, although she did not like it. What else were women for, other than gaining advantage?

She emailed him. This was a threat, so he made a complaint leading to her being warned, although the warning was so gently put that she did not even know it was a warning.

When the artist spotted that he was, in fact, sleeping with someone she backed off and redoubled her efforts to avoid looking at him. He did not like that, the hatred really set in. Why did she not appear to want him anymore. Had he not become even more beautiful? She was an irritant, even though she wasn’t even on his team. It was time to get rid of her.

The artist tried to communicate with him from a distance, so that she would not say anything wrong. She tried to redirect any conversation onto safer ground so that they could work together, he would respond with hostility and accusations. She tried to transfer onto another shift, so that she did not have to deal with him. They refused.

The last straw was when she tried to give him a book on dealing with stress. This was appalling. How dare she! He complained of harassment, on the basis of a total of five conversations in three months, three of which he had started himself. Now she would understand how big and powerful he was.

The artist was then dragged into an office for a second time, told that her attempts to resolve any problems by means other than making accusations or hurting people were ‘unprofessional’ and fired by an inexperienced little South African oik who expected her to grovel to him.

The artist sighed and left Lilliput behind.

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The postscript to the last month or so

I could get annoyed, bitter and angry about this,  but I actually feel sorry for SB.  I genuinely liked him, and there was raw material there I could have done something with in terms of giving him a happier outlook. I am a nice yet tough lady who gets it.  He won’t find another one.

I am sorry that I did not get to say goodbye, if you want to know the story, trawl back over the last month or so for a fairly sanitised version.

SB is a poor soul and is likely to have a fairly overworked and twisted life.  You can choose to make things more or less complicated, and he likes things more complicated and less charming than I do.

The contractor has been very unpleasant and intrusive, and as I did not choose for them to have this information, I have found their input less than useful.

The manager directly in charge of you, however, is a decent person and is not directly responsible for what has just happened.  He is just giving his boy the benefit of the doubt.  The boys network is not dead, and insufficient members of staff have highlighted SB as being an issue according to him.  You could choose to make his life more of a bitch, but I did not.

It is now unlikely that he will get the help he needs, and so I suggest that you all avoid interacting with him as much as possible, as even on a good day he is likely to want to use you to gain some imaginary advantage that only he understands.  It is neither your fault nor his. I was unable to resolve the situation and if I cannot help, it is likely that nobody can as I am an unusually thrawn and helpful person.

Several interested parties may want to get in touch, in which case my number is available. You can also email on the address at the bottom of the pages, but this may take me longer to answer.

Again, I am sorry I was unable to explain what happened, but I tried as hard as I could to get through to SB and he still kept attacking me via the contractor, so there was nothing I could apparently do about it beyond pretending to be something I’m not.

My heart goes out to a female member of staff in particular.  She may get a better hearing if she wants it.

Good luck everyone, look out for me on media generally as I will now be devoting myself to Boris on my way back to the overarching Wolfe project.  Life is for helping others where you can.

I’ll miss you,

Hope Scott and Qasim work out.  So cute!

 

Ina

 

 

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See what I mean, Wolfe?

You see why I was much safer being in love with you now?

This is normal life for me.

I know you understand it, because I’ve watched them do it to you too.

The sooner I get out of being with the sheeple the better.

I’m so sorry for being a dick. I had a bit of work to do.

Thanks for being on the site twice today, it meant a lot to me.

Ina xxxx

 

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Sick Freak

“Isn’t it funny this chick really likes me?”

“She doesn’t know you.”

“Yeah, the problem is I only like them when they’re really scared.  I’ll have to scare her, and she’s bigger than me.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“Ummm, well, her mother is dead and she has bills to pay.  I think I’ll repeatedly make complaints about her until she’s terrified.”

“Great idea!  That’ll show her.”

“Maybe I should go to the gym, too.”

“Uh huh.”

“And, apart from that, I could make sure she understands by humiliating and degrading her at every opportunity.”

“Fabulous.”

“Yeah, she won’t look so cheerful then, will she?”

“Nope, I guess not.”

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We aren’t accusing you of sexual harassment but…….

If a guy messaged a girl three times in four months and she complained about it it would be taken much more seriously.

Are you fucking kidding me?  It wasn’t even close to being sexual, and the dude CAN’T STOP STARING AT ME

Yeah, let’s support the dude because he looks more like us than the little old fat cow does.

 

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Not trying to get you fired but……

You will never have a job with the employer, the agency or the contractor.

 

Call me old-fashioned, but managing used to mean you managed, not that you slunk off to ruin people’s lives because you’re too weak to face up to your own problems.

Apparently boys are made of sugar and can’t cope with simple tasks without dumping a ton of bullshit on other people.

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Dem eyes, Jake, dem eyes……..

Came across this dude on Twitter this morning.

@jakerobison1 

I could follow those eyes anywhere, so I am going to recommend that you follow him.

Here is to nice young men with lovely eyes who don’t try to get you fired. I am now very depressed and upset.

 

 

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