Scott Pixello's Blog, page 13
November 3, 2013
family newsletter- read all about it
I like to bring a little festive cheer into people's lives so here's my standard reply to family newsletters. It usually does the trick.
“It's been quite a busy year. It began badly with the kids and that nasty car crash but at least our youngest can hop about now and the doctors say life for a one-legged child isn’t really so bad these days. Then my wife was diagnosed with chronic shoe envy and in more recent months, my own battle with Cheerios and heroin has not been easy. Getting laid off and having our house repossessed should have depressed me but by this time I was drinking so much, little seemed to register. Obviously I’ve tried suicide but they’ve always pumped my stomach in time. My last attempt left me semi-paralysed, which is why my 24 hr on-call nurse is helping me write this as she changes my colostomy bag. Still, mustn’t grumble.
Hope you and the kids are well. Do keep in touch."
Feel free to use/adapt at will.
“It's been quite a busy year. It began badly with the kids and that nasty car crash but at least our youngest can hop about now and the doctors say life for a one-legged child isn’t really so bad these days. Then my wife was diagnosed with chronic shoe envy and in more recent months, my own battle with Cheerios and heroin has not been easy. Getting laid off and having our house repossessed should have depressed me but by this time I was drinking so much, little seemed to register. Obviously I’ve tried suicide but they’ve always pumped my stomach in time. My last attempt left me semi-paralysed, which is why my 24 hr on-call nurse is helping me write this as she changes my colostomy bag. Still, mustn’t grumble.
Hope you and the kids are well. Do keep in touch."
Feel free to use/adapt at will.
November 2, 2013
Speaking German
'If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German' was a nice provocative phrase you used to hear directed at Brits who whined about America being a tad late to the party in both World Wars (check your dates).
Putting the whole Hitler thing to one side (which is quite a big thing, I admit)I got to wondering, if it would be such a bad thing if the world did speak German. One of the interesting features of German is the presence of 'doch' (pronounced like Scottish 'Loch'), which is impossible to translate directly but works a little like 'Oh, yes it is' to contradict & undercut completely a previous statement.
My point is, disputes in English over say a border, a religion or a Bill in Congress go 'Yes, it is' > 'No, it isn't for weeks, months and sometimes years, whereas in German there is a linguistic shortcut with an 'Oh doch'. This could save time, money and even possibly the occasional war which develops from pure intransigence.
There, my recipe for world peace- learn German. And if you say that wouldn't make any difference, I would simply reply 'Doch'.
Putting the whole Hitler thing to one side (which is quite a big thing, I admit)I got to wondering, if it would be such a bad thing if the world did speak German. One of the interesting features of German is the presence of 'doch' (pronounced like Scottish 'Loch'), which is impossible to translate directly but works a little like 'Oh, yes it is' to contradict & undercut completely a previous statement.
My point is, disputes in English over say a border, a religion or a Bill in Congress go 'Yes, it is' > 'No, it isn't for weeks, months and sometimes years, whereas in German there is a linguistic shortcut with an 'Oh doch'. This could save time, money and even possibly the occasional war which develops from pure intransigence.
There, my recipe for world peace- learn German. And if you say that wouldn't make any difference, I would simply reply 'Doch'.
November 1, 2013
I'm sitting at home, eating a sandwich, the sky is blue...
I'm fine with writers who use everyday detail to show us something new and even extraordinary about life but the number of people who can do this well are very small- Carol Shields and Haruki Murakami for example.
However blogs that recount tedious daily routines seem oblvious to the fact that we all have those already ourselves. Skipping through a random selection of blogs feels like reading the diary of a very young child, obsessively detailing the contents of their last meal.
Another manifestation of this archiving mentality is the family newslatter, often sent out at Christmas, full of the choicest nuggests of this stuff. In Europe, this is viewed as junk mail, pure & simple.
Anyway, I shall endeavour to avoid the worst excesses of domestic trivia. Other kinds of trivia- well, I can't promise.
However blogs that recount tedious daily routines seem oblvious to the fact that we all have those already ourselves. Skipping through a random selection of blogs feels like reading the diary of a very young child, obsessively detailing the contents of their last meal.
Another manifestation of this archiving mentality is the family newslatter, often sent out at Christmas, full of the choicest nuggests of this stuff. In Europe, this is viewed as junk mail, pure & simple.
Anyway, I shall endeavour to avoid the worst excesses of domestic trivia. Other kinds of trivia- well, I can't promise.
October 31, 2013
literary blindspots
Countless friends of mine have tried to 'make' me like Muse, The Killers and even Radiohead but despite really trying, I can't get past the lead singer's voice.
Are there certain writers that it's permissible to hate on sight? Writers whose work just makes you want to eat your own head after half a page? Perhaps these are writers who others fawn all over and jump up and down about but whom for you represent a severe case of The Emperor's New Clothes. A kind of literary Chris de Burgh.
Is irrational hatred of certain specific works of art acceptable? Normal even?
Are there certain writers that it's permissible to hate on sight? Writers whose work just makes you want to eat your own head after half a page? Perhaps these are writers who others fawn all over and jump up and down about but whom for you represent a severe case of The Emperor's New Clothes. A kind of literary Chris de Burgh.
Is irrational hatred of certain specific works of art acceptable? Normal even?
October 29, 2013
Miroslav Holub
About 20 years ago I was lucky enough to hear Czech Poet Miroslav Holub read some of his work. He's dead now but I was reminded of his writing (some short prose but mostly poetry)in that I seem to be drawn to a similar short 'thought of the day' form. Although not always writing in English, Holub's ideas translated really well and he often took a slightly off-kilter point of view (like moles who see a cat for the first time and assume they grow in trees) and he was very good at seeing complex situations with deceptive simplicity ('The History Lesson' was a favourite of mine about Napoleon's cat).
I wouldn't claim to achieve a similar range and depth of profound thought but if you've read Memoir of a Gothic Girl, which is constructed in diary form, you'll see there is a similar idea at play.
I wouldn't claim to achieve a similar range and depth of profound thought but if you've read Memoir of a Gothic Girl, which is constructed in diary form, you'll see there is a similar idea at play.
Goodreads and Mr Stupid
There's quite a lot posted on various sites about how harsh Goodreads reviewers. However there can be trolls anywhere and to be perfectly honest,if you sign up with a site calling itself GOODREADS, a little bit of quality control is the very least you might expect.
Last thought (hopefully) on Robin Thicke. In British (and I'm pretty sure American) English, thick means 'stupid'. Anyone familiar with Roger Hargreaves' series of books for very young children will see the problem of introducing yourself as 'Mr Thicke' (whether with a final e or not). Here the name seems to be entirely appropriate.
Last thought (hopefully) on Robin Thicke. In British (and I'm pretty sure American) English, thick means 'stupid'. Anyone familiar with Roger Hargreaves' series of books for very young children will see the problem of introducing yourself as 'Mr Thicke' (whether with a final e or not). Here the name seems to be entirely appropriate.
October 27, 2013
Stephen King
Been re-reading The Shining- partly in preparation for the release of Dr Sleep, partly for a GR discussion group. It reminded me that the man who went on to kill John Lennon (Mark Chapman) earlier approached King at a book-signing. I have nothing against Mr King (other than I wish he'd stop producing wedges of bloated text & go back to tight, suspenseful plots) but it made me think about Creative Design. If such a notion really existed, don't you think an assassin would have targeted Paul McCartney? Or even more obviously Yoko Ono. Over 40 years of Yoko Ono and no more John Lennon- yeah, that's intelligent.
October 26, 2013
Jacko v OBL
Strange how things come together, as Hannibal almost says in The A-Team. Just reading about Quincy Jones trying to recover money allegedly owed to him after the demise of Michael Jackson.
Last night, sat through Zero Dark Thirty (the Kathryn Bigelow-directed movie about Osama Bin Laden) and This Is It (the documentary behind Michael Jackson's final concert).
A few things occur to me: 1)They both died prematurely and both had legions of fans.
2)The titles of the movies are strangely interchangeable.
3) Perhaps they could have been more successful if they'd learned from each another: MJ should have spent less on plastic surgery; OBL maybe a little more. MJ might have been less secretive and OBL could have spent more time on his videos.
Last night, sat through Zero Dark Thirty (the Kathryn Bigelow-directed movie about Osama Bin Laden) and This Is It (the documentary behind Michael Jackson's final concert).
A few things occur to me: 1)They both died prematurely and both had legions of fans.
2)The titles of the movies are strangely interchangeable.
3) Perhaps they could have been more successful if they'd learned from each another: MJ should have spent less on plastic surgery; OBL maybe a little more. MJ might have been less secretive and OBL could have spent more time on his videos.
October 25, 2013
8 million Americans
One of the reasons I've started a blog is that I read 8 million Americans have one. Maybe not high in percentage terms but it's still a significant number. I'll be in good company, I thought.
Then I wondered what else do 8 million Americans do...?
8 million are affected by bi-polar disorder, gout and have an eating disorder (not all three- that would be daytime TV).
8 million leave their church every year (although clearly I'm not equating religious faith with a medical condition).
8 million are on 'Main Core' which is a secret list of individuals to be interned in case of Martial Law. Are you on it? Why not?
I had expected something easy like the number of people who voted for George Bush (over 50 million- surprising & depressing in equal measure) or the average American prison population (not there yet but heading that way).
8 million consider suicide each year (unrelated to previous point).
All this made be slightly less enthusiastic about the blog idea. Still, my Geography is terrible so if 8 million Americans think South America is Texas, maybe I am in good company after all.
Then I wondered what else do 8 million Americans do...?
8 million are affected by bi-polar disorder, gout and have an eating disorder (not all three- that would be daytime TV).
8 million leave their church every year (although clearly I'm not equating religious faith with a medical condition).
8 million are on 'Main Core' which is a secret list of individuals to be interned in case of Martial Law. Are you on it? Why not?
I had expected something easy like the number of people who voted for George Bush (over 50 million- surprising & depressing in equal measure) or the average American prison population (not there yet but heading that way).
8 million consider suicide each year (unrelated to previous point).
All this made be slightly less enthusiastic about the blog idea. Still, my Geography is terrible so if 8 million Americans think South America is Texas, maybe I am in good company after all.
Robin Thicke is a big dick
There's a scene in the new(ish) film Bad Grandpa where a very young girl at a beauty pageant starts a raunchy pole dance in stockings and suspenders (UK meaning). If people can see the joke here, why can they not see the hideous objectification of women by Thicke & Co. Blurred Lines in its title, lyrics & video is overtly saying that a girl often means yes when she says no. What is that teaching our young people? OK, so a pop song is just 3 mins of fluff and maybe shouldn't be viewed as 'teaching' anybody anything. Mr Thicke (oh, smell the irony of the name) didn't invent the objectification of women but a song that appears to celebrate this in 2013, denying the previous century of (albeit slow) moves towards female equality, without provoking a global outcry- well, I do find that a bit surprising to say the least.
What's that got to do with books, I hear you cry? Well, anything which reinforces/drives attitudes to gender has an impact on the written word. Was this really what the Brontes had in mind 150 years ago?
As Lilly Allen says in 'The Fear':
...And I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
'Cause everyone knows that's how you get famous...
Anyway, I'm off to teach my daughter how to perfect her twerking if she wants to be treated as an equal in the workplace.
What's that got to do with books, I hear you cry? Well, anything which reinforces/drives attitudes to gender has an impact on the written word. Was this really what the Brontes had in mind 150 years ago?
As Lilly Allen says in 'The Fear':
...And I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
'Cause everyone knows that's how you get famous...
Anyway, I'm off to teach my daughter how to perfect her twerking if she wants to be treated as an equal in the workplace.
