Scott Pixello's Blog, page 12
November 13, 2013
Mathematics
If you shorten the word 'Mathematics' that makes Maths', not 'Math'.
Comedian Milton Jones describes his experience with a friend who keeps saying 'You do the Math':
Friend: ...you do the Math.
Milton: Don't you mean Maths? There are five letters in that word.
Friend: What's the difference?
Milton: One. You do the Math...s.
Maybe that's why Biff kept 'flunking Math' in Death of a Salesman (although the name probably didn't help- see yesterday)
Comedian Milton Jones describes his experience with a friend who keeps saying 'You do the Math':
Friend: ...you do the Math.
Milton: Don't you mean Maths? There are five letters in that word.
Friend: What's the difference?
Milton: One. You do the Math...s.
Maybe that's why Biff kept 'flunking Math' in Death of a Salesman (although the name probably didn't help- see yesterday)
November 11, 2013
What's in a name?
It never ceases to amaze me the predictable parade of ridiculous names that parents give their kids,usually on the prnciple the more famous the parent, the more stupid the name (the Beckhams' great idea of naming their kids from their point of conception famously leading to Brooklyn, Romeo and Bus-stop).
What is less remarked upon is how companies, even those with global businesses name themselves in a way that makes them ridiculous in the eyes of the world (or perhaps just mine). High-tech, high-end German engineering company SAP don't quite get how that makes them look in the States and household name 'ups' don't quite see how a name in lower case reads as 'oops'- not the best idea for a delivery company with promises of not dropping stuff (or making gaffes with names).
My favourite? Car company Vauxhall were at a loss to understand why no-one was buying their 'Nova' model in Spain until someone pointed out 'No va' means 'doesn't go' in Spanish.
What is less remarked upon is how companies, even those with global businesses name themselves in a way that makes them ridiculous in the eyes of the world (or perhaps just mine). High-tech, high-end German engineering company SAP don't quite get how that makes them look in the States and household name 'ups' don't quite see how a name in lower case reads as 'oops'- not the best idea for a delivery company with promises of not dropping stuff (or making gaffes with names).
My favourite? Car company Vauxhall were at a loss to understand why no-one was buying their 'Nova' model in Spain until someone pointed out 'No va' means 'doesn't go' in Spanish.
November 10, 2013
Nothing makes me feel more powerful...well, almost nothing
In American Beauty (the film), realtor Buddy Kane tells Carolyn Burnham that when he's feeling frustrated, he goes to a shooting range and pops off a few rounds because nothing makes him feel so powerful.
I'm almost exactly the same (well, except for the guns thing obviously). When I feel like that, I sometimes write a poem- not quite so macho but it works for me. Thinking about my post from yesterday, I wrote a sonnet. It's not great but it does have the required rhyme scheme, rough syllable count and just for fun there's a little acrostic surprise in there too (you have to work at finding the first letter due to spacing here). Only Whovians will get it all.
A Prescription From the Doctor
The Doctor, a strange madman in a box.
It’s bigger inside than out, locked with a key,
Moves through time but does not age- the great paradox.
Empty are the children, who want you to see,
You must avoid daleks – these you should fear,
Where scary monsters have bigger teeth than Rose.
Into parties? A banana is always a good idea.
Married? To River Song we suppose.
Even Vincent has an accent like Miss Pond.
You should avoid the Library if reading is your hobby.
In fact a screwdriver replaces a magic wand.
Do run from Angels (not that song by Robbie).
Expect to meet Sontarens, looking like Christmas pud. We’re
All just stories, so make sure yours is good.
I'm almost exactly the same (well, except for the guns thing obviously). When I feel like that, I sometimes write a poem- not quite so macho but it works for me. Thinking about my post from yesterday, I wrote a sonnet. It's not great but it does have the required rhyme scheme, rough syllable count and just for fun there's a little acrostic surprise in there too (you have to work at finding the first letter due to spacing here). Only Whovians will get it all.
A Prescription From the Doctor
The Doctor, a strange madman in a box.
It’s bigger inside than out, locked with a key,
Moves through time but does not age- the great paradox.
Empty are the children, who want you to see,
You must avoid daleks – these you should fear,
Where scary monsters have bigger teeth than Rose.
Into parties? A banana is always a good idea.
Married? To River Song we suppose.
Even Vincent has an accent like Miss Pond.
You should avoid the Library if reading is your hobby.
In fact a screwdriver replaces a magic wand.
Do run from Angels (not that song by Robbie).
Expect to meet Sontarens, looking like Christmas pud. We’re
All just stories, so make sure yours is good.
November 9, 2013
JFK or the daleks?
Much interest in 50th anniversaries at the moment. They say everyone can remember where they were when JFK was shot. Well, Lee Harvey Oswald probably could.
The problem I have with conspiracy theories is that after a promising start (questioning orthodoxy, not taking no for an answer...) they suddenly wimp out. Instead of an argument, a flow of reason, they resort to the childish 'it was all a conspiracy' which, in storytelling terms, is like waking up 'as if it's all a dream.' The sum of most conspiracy theories (JFK, moonlanding, the Twin Towers being deliberately destroyed) is that after an interesting premise, they go precisely no-where and lead to a collective shrug of the shoulders and a knowing 'it's all a conspiracy.' The problem with this is that it erodes belief in everything, not just a sensible questioning of the status quo. Belief in politics, science, reason is replaced with a pseudo-religious belief in non-belief, permanent suspicion, which is in many ways worse than a Stepford Wives-like acceptance of what we're told.
In the end, the 50th anniversary that interests me more is Dr Who- I'd rather believe in the power of storytelling.
The problem I have with conspiracy theories is that after a promising start (questioning orthodoxy, not taking no for an answer...) they suddenly wimp out. Instead of an argument, a flow of reason, they resort to the childish 'it was all a conspiracy' which, in storytelling terms, is like waking up 'as if it's all a dream.' The sum of most conspiracy theories (JFK, moonlanding, the Twin Towers being deliberately destroyed) is that after an interesting premise, they go precisely no-where and lead to a collective shrug of the shoulders and a knowing 'it's all a conspiracy.' The problem with this is that it erodes belief in everything, not just a sensible questioning of the status quo. Belief in politics, science, reason is replaced with a pseudo-religious belief in non-belief, permanent suspicion, which is in many ways worse than a Stepford Wives-like acceptance of what we're told.
In the end, the 50th anniversary that interests me more is Dr Who- I'd rather believe in the power of storytelling.
November 8, 2013
death by box-set
My defining image of the 90s is wading (in a pleasant way) through a video box-set of Friends. Twenty years on, I'm just putting together my own box-set and I'm wondering if ebook box-sets have a similar feel or is the whole concept past its sell-by-date? And how long will it be, I wonder, before we drop the whole e- before -book thing?
November 7, 2013
Twitter IPO
Comedian Sean Lock does a good routine about Twitter and how some people's use of it is as if their heads are 'leaking' so 'they can't shut up even when they're on their own'. Fair point maybe but there's also something quite poetic as well as reductive and inane about expressing ideas in just 147 characters.
I remember satirical sketches about clunky mobile phones and obnoxious 'phone behaviour' in public but now everyone's got one (except me!). The same is true of Facebook. What's ridiculous at first quickly becomes the norm (Twitter was only launched in 2006).
It seems to me however, for most forms of communication (letter, emails, even Christmas presents)the expectation of a message is often more exciting than the thing itself. Why does the fortune cookie taste worse than the message it contains?
I remember satirical sketches about clunky mobile phones and obnoxious 'phone behaviour' in public but now everyone's got one (except me!). The same is true of Facebook. What's ridiculous at first quickly becomes the norm (Twitter was only launched in 2006).
It seems to me however, for most forms of communication (letter, emails, even Christmas presents)the expectation of a message is often more exciting than the thing itself. Why does the fortune cookie taste worse than the message it contains?
November 6, 2013
Jane Austen, Agatha Christie & chocolate eggs
In their 60th anniversary poll, the Crime Writers' Association have just voted Agatha Christie's 1926 The Murder of Roger Ackroyd as the best crime novel ever. Will I be reading it? Probably not.
It may be a great example of its kind but I just cannot read crime fiction. Why? Because I don't care what happens and that is rather important for crime fiction. Thoughts, feelings, motivation, characters' inner lives- that I can be passionate about but the exteriors of life don't fascinate me. In fact, I'm probably at the opposite end of the scale to Sherlock Holmes' legendary powers of observation. As my wife recently pointed out. I think it was her-I wasn't really listening.
This is a problem that I have to work on because clearly when I write I need to describe places & people but I'm often too impatient to get to what they are feeling or thinking. This is also why I can't really relate personally to Jane Austen. There are plenty of interior aspects to her work too of course but three pages about a certain kind of carriage or tea cup doesn't float my particular literary boat. It's a character flaw, I know, it's just those Kinder chocolate eggs don't make kids whoop from what's on the outside.
It may be a great example of its kind but I just cannot read crime fiction. Why? Because I don't care what happens and that is rather important for crime fiction. Thoughts, feelings, motivation, characters' inner lives- that I can be passionate about but the exteriors of life don't fascinate me. In fact, I'm probably at the opposite end of the scale to Sherlock Holmes' legendary powers of observation. As my wife recently pointed out. I think it was her-I wasn't really listening.
This is a problem that I have to work on because clearly when I write I need to describe places & people but I'm often too impatient to get to what they are feeling or thinking. This is also why I can't really relate personally to Jane Austen. There are plenty of interior aspects to her work too of course but three pages about a certain kind of carriage or tea cup doesn't float my particular literary boat. It's a character flaw, I know, it's just those Kinder chocolate eggs don't make kids whoop from what's on the outside.
November 5, 2013
Warming up
The English comedian Richard Herring has a blog entitled 'Warming Up' which I occasionally dip into. The idea that you should keep writing at all times if you want to keep the creative juices flowing I think is a fair one but I also tend to feel that very prosaic daily routines should be kept for private consumption only. I'm not saying Herring always falls into this trap but he's an interesting example of someone who has had to (re)invent his audience (after a visible TV career in the 90s) to be able to make a living as a comedian.
A growing number of writers work in a similar way. Build or find an audience of around 10,000 people and produce enough original material every year that each of these individuals is prepared to pay $10 for and then everyone's happy.
Now all I have to do is find 10,000 gulible, I mean intelligent, people.
A growing number of writers work in a similar way. Build or find an audience of around 10,000 people and produce enough original material every year that each of these individuals is prepared to pay $10 for and then everyone's happy.
Now all I have to do is find 10,000 gulible, I mean intelligent, people.
November 4, 2013
Trust the Tale
There have been calls to boycott the film version of Orson Scott Card's 'Ender's Game' on the grounds that the author of the original book has expressed certain views over same-sex marriage.
I'm not endorsing his particular views at all but I can see big problems with viewing artists as pseudo public figures whose reported words have to pass any number of tests of prevailing social attitudes before their art is seen as somehow acceptable. Authors have opinions- some of which you might disagree with. Does that really invalidate their aristic expression?
Some people have problems with listening to Wagner, knowing the connections with Hitler but do the questionable views of poet Philip Larkin about women/race mean we should not read his poems? After his death, certain less savoury details emerged about Roald Dahl but many of us are still happy to allow our kids to enjoy his stories.
I can see the problem if the work itself exemplifies problematic/objectionable attitudes (DW Griffith's 1915 film Birth of a Nation is a seminal work in film history but it clearly also glorifies the KKK).
I was just thinking about this moral minefield after the discovery of a huge 'collection' of Nazi-confiscated art in Munich. Hitler & Co. banned so-called degenerate art because it represented an ethnicity of which he disapproved but if he'd been allowed to prevail, works by Chagall, Kandinsky, Klee etc would all have been consigned to history.
Maybe we should hold to the words of DH Lawrence, let artists do their work and 'trust the tale, not the teller'.
I'm not endorsing his particular views at all but I can see big problems with viewing artists as pseudo public figures whose reported words have to pass any number of tests of prevailing social attitudes before their art is seen as somehow acceptable. Authors have opinions- some of which you might disagree with. Does that really invalidate their aristic expression?
Some people have problems with listening to Wagner, knowing the connections with Hitler but do the questionable views of poet Philip Larkin about women/race mean we should not read his poems? After his death, certain less savoury details emerged about Roald Dahl but many of us are still happy to allow our kids to enjoy his stories.
I can see the problem if the work itself exemplifies problematic/objectionable attitudes (DW Griffith's 1915 film Birth of a Nation is a seminal work in film history but it clearly also glorifies the KKK).
I was just thinking about this moral minefield after the discovery of a huge 'collection' of Nazi-confiscated art in Munich. Hitler & Co. banned so-called degenerate art because it represented an ethnicity of which he disapproved but if he'd been allowed to prevail, works by Chagall, Kandinsky, Klee etc would all have been consigned to history.
Maybe we should hold to the words of DH Lawrence, let artists do their work and 'trust the tale, not the teller'.
Cats & dogs
Bit late today. Been watching the rain, which is falling out of the sky like proverbial cats & dogs. Which made me think of two things:
1) How come people can have a dog of virtually any size they wish but if I want an equally large cat, the neighbours get a bit animated. I think panthers get a bad press. They have a very calming influence around small children especially.
2) One of my favourite lines of poetry:
'My doggie don't wear glasses.
So they're lying when they say
A dog looks like its owner,
Aren't they?"
(John Hegley)
1) How come people can have a dog of virtually any size they wish but if I want an equally large cat, the neighbours get a bit animated. I think panthers get a bad press. They have a very calming influence around small children especially.
2) One of my favourite lines of poetry:
'My doggie don't wear glasses.
So they're lying when they say
A dog looks like its owner,
Aren't they?"
(John Hegley)
