Ksenia Anske's Blog, page 30
June 15, 2016
When depression hits, it's real
You don't want to get out of bed. You don't care to dress. To eat. To open your mouth and say something to those who talk to you. It's just not worth the effort. Whatever color there is has leeched out and it all looks grey, and there is pain in your stomach that can't be there and yet you feel it. It's plenty real. And for no reason you start crying and can't stop, and when asked what's wrong, you can't explain. You don't know. And it doesn't seem to matter to try to un...
June 12, 2016
It's so hard not to belong
I keep looking for belonging, and I can't find it. I know in my mind that I should feel like I belong, but in my heart I don't. My language, my country, my people, my family. Everything changed, and changed again, and every time I think I found it, it escapes me. I keep searching. Why do I keep searching? It's exhausting. Why can't I stop? Why can't I be content with what I have? Something is missing. It's like I don't have roots and simply drift. I don't have...
June 9, 2016
Josey's story: Shards of Glass
This is Josey's story. I will let it speak for itself. Please read it, and please read other stories written by students enrolled in the Scriber Lake High School Writing Program, recently published in I'm Finally Awake: Young Authors Untangling Old Nightmares,stories of abuse, drug addiction, mental illness, and homelessness, stories that need to be told and heard and understood. These students are our children. Their stories are all that we are.
SHARDS OF GLASSby Josey Lane Daniel
The ice c...
June 8, 2016
Finding self-love
Illustration by Elisa Talentino
What may seem excessive to a casual onlooker, like numerous postings of selfies or constant talk about yourself or conversations about your own personal achievements rather than listening to those of others (and tuning out when someone else speaks), is not arrogance. Not egoism. Not lack of manners. If you really stop and look at that person and set your judgements aside, you'll see that whoever is doing it is actually trying to practice self-love. I say "tr...
June 4, 2016
Call for stories
Send me your stories for Janna. Many of you have already shared your stories of sexual abuse privately with me, via email and messages and letters. I'm going to use some of them, anonymously and perhaps changed to fit the book, perhaps intact as you told them to me, unless you specifically asked me not to share them with anyone. I need more, however. I'm writing the last few chapters, and there is a courtroom scene where Janna publicly tells stories of other wom...
June 3, 2016
I swear, I'll write a memoir one day
Or two. Or three. My mom called and gave me the secret news. It turns out my little sister gave birth to a son this winter and I HAD NO IDEA. She told mom to keep it secret, and today mom finally spilled the secret to me, making me swear I'll keep the secret, but then my sister showed up and mom gave her the phone and she told me the news herself, so at least I don't have to keep the secret now. Whew. But who the father is remains a mystery, and she won't tell m...
May 30, 2016
Self-publishing to-do list
Illustration by Rachel Levit Ruiz
So Raychel Rose asked me:"Do you have a self-publishing to do list on your blog somewhere? Or plan to..." And I thought, shit, what a brilliant idea. I need to write one and then check back on it to know what the hell I need to do before I publish a book so I finally hit all the dates without holding it all in my head and forgetting stuff, like forgetting to create a Goodreads giveaway on time, or forgetting that printing an IngramSpark proof takes longer...
May 26, 2016
When you're told you're inappropriate
When your family members tell you your behavior is inappropriate, and you hurt so bad you think you bleed but you don't, it's an illusion, and yet it hurts like it bleeds and you learn to ignore it, you learn to submit to what they think must be proper and you carry your hurt until one day you decide to be yourself and are told that you're inappropriate again. What do you do?
You write.
When your close friends who you think are your close friends find you embarras...
May 22, 2016
Writing while traveling
I had an almost physical pain in my stomach the morning of getting on the plane to arrive on time in California for Anechka's graduation. And I thought, "This is ridiculous. You'll have to travel more often in the future, naturally, because you'll get very rich and very famous soon, so what is this shit? Girl, you need to learn to write while you travel."
When I went on the Amtrak trip it was different. I had a room all on my own. It was a room on wheels, but it was a r...
May 20, 2016
THE BADLINGS audiobook is published!
It's here! It's here! Get your copy at:Comment below and tell me why you absolutely HAVE TO HAVE A FREE COPY, and I will pick a bunch of winners so you get the audiobook for free (I don't remember how many free codes the ACX people send me, I think it's 20, so maybe I'll give out 5).
Now, to the story of production.This little book only looks so very innocent, but the production of it wasn't innocent at all. I want to share with you Erich's story.
Erich Lane is the inc...
