Kate Larking's Blog: Anxiety Ink, page 59

Reader Mode

As I conceptualize this post I know it’s going to sound like one long excuse about my lack of writing productivity. I know it and yet I can’t help but write it. Even if it’s just for my own sake.

I wrote something during my goal checkup a few weeks ago that I want to explain: I am a reader before I am a writer. Does this mean that I am not dedicated to the craft? No. Does this mean that I’m going to stop trying to write as a profession? No. Does this mean that writing about writing is a waste of time for me? No. Does this mean that I am going to devote less time to writing? No.

What the heck does it mean then?

Well, self, that is a loaded question! Over the course of 2014, I have written more fiction than I have in years. I have come up with more story ideas than I ever have before. I have met and connected with more dedicated writers than I ever have. And I have read less than I have in a decade.

On Goodreads, you can challenge yourself to read x number of books in a year. When this feature was first launched in 2011 I challenged myself to read 100 books because I thought I could. I didn’t hit my goal that year and, because I’m weird, I’ve challenged myself to read 100 books every year since. And I will continue to do so until I hit it!

In 2011, I read 94 books. In 2012, 72. In 2013, 70. To date for 2014, I’ve read 30. It’s a stupid way to feel but I am both embarrassed and appalled. I consider myself to be well read and I identify as a booknerd who reads a lot. Having read only 30 books in ten months is not ok with me.

Adults weren’t kidding when they told me that reading for pleasure while having a (mostly) full-time job was a challenge. Still, I did all of the above reading while having a full course load in university as well as full-time summer jobs between semesters. So what’s my problem?!?

Writing. Writing is the answer, not necessarily the problem. It used to be that when I had a day off or free time, I would sit down and read. Now, that time is devoted to writing stories or blog posts. Which only leaves my meagre evening time for reading.

Why does any of this matter though? Again, loaded question, especially if you weigh the writing positives again the reading negatives.

Reading fulfills something intrinsically necessary for me. Bottom line: I am not happy if I am not able to read on a regular basis. A core part of me needs the escapism reading provides me. I learn so much from reading –about the world, people, and the craft of writing– and I get to leave behind my sometimes dragging reality.

If I don’t read every day I get moody, plain and simple. But I don’t have the same problem if I don’t write on a regular basis. Yes, I feel guilty when I hear about how much writing other people have gotten done and all the new projects they’re tackling around their other commitments. I feel somewhat like a failure for my inability to balance it all. And I legitimately love getting to know my characters and crafting stories. Nothing gives me an adrenaline rush like a brand new story idea.

In one of her first posts, Jessica said that if you’re dedicated you can balance everything you need to do in a day. She was talking about how important reading is for writers. I agreed wholeheartedly with her even while I furrowed my brow because I haven’t been getting any writing done lately because I’ve gone back to reading. And other reasons.

I can’t deny that I must make time for everything in my life. Kate has called herself a binger in the past, and I realize I have that tendency, too. If there’s something I want to do or am interested in, I binge on it until my interest wanes or my energy peters out.

At this stage of my life I need reading just a little bit more than I need writing, I think that’s what this is all boiling down to.

I make time schedules for myself in an attempt to be more accountable but I don’t outline tasks. Rather, I make large blocks that I label “productive time.” I may have a to-do list on any given day but that too is obviously not working like I want it to. It’s so easy to push things like “write that short story” to the point that it’s no longer feasible to do that day, or the next, or the next –you get the picture.

Then of course you have to factor everything you don’t plan for that sucks away time -plans, illness, etc.

Uncontrollable factors aside, it’s time to attack my scheduling and time management because I really can do it all without burning myself out. Other people are capable so I know it can be done. I wrote about writer mindfulness two weeks ago and I truly took that to heart. My time is going to be divvied up into routines that I am determined to stick to. Period.

Source

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Where do Writers Get Their Ideas?

It’s the quintessential questions writers hear. “Where do writers get their ideas?”

Since I recently decided which project I would like to work on for NaNoWriMo, I have been flooded with ideas. From everywhere. About everything. So I thought I would write a post where all these ideas have come from.

Reading Non-fiction & News Articles. I read a lot of headlines in a day. Most of the time, all the headlines are variants on one another, taking the mystery out of the new words that summarize the whole. However, occasionally, there is an article or headline that snags me. Sometimes, the headline is poorly written and communicates something that the writer didn’t intend. Other times, the topic immediately snags me.

Most recently, a headline gave one of my characters a fantastic backstory as to why s/he is the way s/he is. It makes me crazy excited to write her/him but I don’t have the rest of the plot figured out. This is also not the project I am working on for NaNoWriMo.
Observing Photographs & Paintings. Whether I’m idly browsing online, looking at advertisements, or strolling a gallery, images really do speak more than 1000 words. Sometimes, they have a whole novel wrapped up in them. Recently, an image of a wisteria tunnel I saw years ago bubbled up in my mind, completely revamping the setting for my Dragon book (also, not my NaNoWriMo novel).

Source

Freewriting, Random Style. Sometimes, if I feel really stuck, I will freewrite without an idea of what I want or where I am going. I seize the first thing that comes to mind. Once, I wrote about magical handbells. More than once, I’ve written about depression in ranty prose. There really isn’t a limit. Just diving deep into the first idea and letting it take you away. Sometimes you end up in memories, sometimes you end up somewhere new.
Enjoying Poetry & Songs. This one is a lot like the photographs and paintings section. Poetry and music are great as a means to offer up interesting poetic devices that will prove to be the tiny spark to get an idea started.

Now I want to talk about the ways to get ideas that aren’t the best for me (but you might like them).

People-watching. While sometimes this one can be really entertaining, it takes a long time to find someone that will ultimately spark that idea.
Reading Fiction or Watching Movies. I find that I will be too caught up in the narrative to safely separate my ideas from those I am receiving from the storytelling media.

Okay, so that’s where ideas can come from. But how to ideas really grow into something writers can use?

Showering. The best realizations often come when I’m massaging my brain. Seriously. This is why there is a wax tile pencil in my shower so I can scrawl on the walls if I have to.
Freewriting, Pantsing Style. I use pantsing as a story-centric means of freewriting. My first drafts are usually freewritten where I let the characters do what they want, get hurt, get back up, and keep moving forward. The characters hate me for it. They basically end up yelling at me when something is the worst thing that could happen to them. And then I write more to find out why. Dialogue tirades of backstory and pace-ruining flashbacks from the issues I throw at them tell me more about my characters. I learn who they will confide in, who they won’t, and why. This helps me realize my characters as well as reaffirm certain plot points as essential for character growth while letting me dismiss ones that don’t push my characters forward.
Exercising. Whether it’s a scenic walk or running on the treadmill, it’s a great time to piece together ideas. I actually prefer being on the treadmill with just my music. It helps formulate fight scenes quite well.
Talking it out. The final place where ideas really come together is when I take the time to talk them out with someone. This is really difficult because it means communicating ideas that you know aren’t working to someone who may or may not be able to help you. Sometimes, you don’t even have a firm enough grasp on the ideas to share them in anything resembling concise language. But if you can communicate the ideas to someone you trust to help you build them, not destroy them or match them with other works that will make your ideas seem weak, do it.

Where are your ideas coming from?

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Easing Into Burnout

Once again, I am not doing NaNo this year. I don’t even have a particular project to feed with the NaNo energy. I don’t like it.

But I’m burned out.

After an intense five weeks of rehearsals and performances of an incredibly intense show, and finishing a novel draft that has consumed my life for the last several months, I’m allowed a little burnout.

That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

At this point, the only thing that can really be said for my writing process and the frustration of having to go back and type out the whole manuscript before I can really call the raft done, is that it gives me the chance to ease into the burnout phase. I don’t go straight from full creative/productive mode to nothing; I have at least a couple weeks to still be productive.

Maybe by the end of it, I’ll even have a new project ready to start! (I know better than that, but I can hope.)

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What I Took Away from a Brandon Sanderson Lecture

Happy Halloween! Even though I just got back from Sirens, which I attended with Kate, I’m still on my WWC topics. I’ll get to my Sirens stuff at some point but my readercon lessons have had a longer time to percolate.

Plus, Brandon Sanderson is a great speaker/lecturer/teacher and I really want to share some of the finer points I took away from his two hour talk. A talk I nearly didn’t get in to, and that was almost impossible to pay attention to with the man who sat beside me 20 minutes in who proceeded to eat cough drops like candy and then floss his teeth. I’m still working on forgetting about that.

Anyway, I’ll focus on Sanderson.

First, I learned about myself as an outliner-type writer. Sanderson made a list of outliner characteristics that went something like this:

Outliners like their ducks in a row otherwise it’s pain starring at a blank screen,
Outliners tend not to revise –planning and writing seem to take a lot of energy so when the story is “done” they like to move on,
Yet, revision is so necessary because outliners can have wooden characters who move like chess pieces through a plot.

All of these points were compared to discovering-type writers, who are more like this:

Discovering writers tend to have terrible endings because the emotional impact is greater while the plot ending flops and fizzles, and,
Discovery writers tend to be better revisers and have living, breathing characters.

He said a lot more but these were the parts that stuck out to me because they rang so true! When I’m writing academic papers I painstakingly outline otherwise the paper takes me three times as long to write. My outlines aren’t fragmentary, either. They’re essentially the paper pre-written without segue statements or joining words or flow. And my favourite part is revision. When I finally have a whole entity to work with and I can get my red pen out I am elated.

I can’t say the same about my fiction. My academic outlining does not translate to fiction writing at all. My fiction outlines, depending on the length of the piece, only have notes about major incidents (usually ones that mark the start, middle, and end), subplots, characters, and setting. Besides the fact that sometimes the story decides it doesn’t want to work with the outline. And I’m learning that I don’t love revising my stories as much as my papers. Fiction writing requires so much more energy than academic writing, and when I’m done a story I just want to be DONE.

And we all know you’re never done-done when the first draft of a story is finished.

Sanderson identifies as an outliner, and he said that until he learned to go back and revise, his work was constantly rejected because of the issues that need to be edited out. If you know anything about Sanderson you know he wrote six books before his work was finally accepted by a publisher. This real-life lesson from someone who has turned out to be so successful as a writer made an impact on me. I know he’s not just blowing smoke!

Pantsing terrifies me. It is incredibly painful for me to sit in front of a blank screen without knowing what I want to attempt to put out. Even when I write blog posts I have an idea ahead of time. I will never be a discovering writer or able to claim the positive attributes of that type, but I can sure as heck learn to edit those in afterwards. And I am determined to.

Second, Sanderson emphasized something that resounded with the room. Everyone went silent and wrote it down (I looked around). “Writing is an art that must be practised to be mastered. You have to train and dedicate yourself to writing.”

Then he challenged us all: “Don’t write a book –don’t be that person who has just ‘written a book.’ Do train yourself in the craft –work hard and master the art of writing.”

I don’t want to be that person ten years down the road who produced a mediocre book just for the sake of writing a book. I want to be a person who has crafted stories, who continues to master the art that is writing with every new experiment produced. And I do expect said mastering to be a lifetime endeavor.

Every time I write a piece I learn something new about writing, in general and about my process. I hope that never changes and I hope that I eventually produce stories that I am immeasurably proud of.

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Sirens Conference Hangover

I’m still deep in the wonderful thing I will dub the “Sirens Hangover.”

Definition:

Sirens Hangover: a lull in day-to-day functionality while the mind evolves, reconciling diverse literature and divergent information, resulting in a plethora of new story ideas, tangential thoughts, and increased brain plasticity.

Yeah, that sounds about correct.

One of the concepts brought up at the Sirens Conference was the metaphor that literature is both a mirror and window. It reflects us but also shows us a world through a different lens than we are used to. No book will ever represent you in your own totality, but literature will showcase pieces that relate to the complex puzzle of your whole being.

Our brains are a collage of all that we have seen and read before. Reading the familiar, reading the similar, will only reinforce a piece that is already present in our minds. Reading widely and diversely allows us to expand out collage, offer more than a single alternative to a single thought, idea, problem, issue. The more you read in a diverse area, the more readily acceptable those new categories and ideas become to you.

Sirens is three days of fantastically diverse conversations, recommendations, ideas, theories, and academic thoughts. You go there and you get drunk on ideas and concepts. You get drunk on the multiple perspective lemonade.

So as a result of Sirens, I have well over a fifty books added to my “to read” list, around ten ideas for new worlds to write, and a whole bunch of new people to follow avidly on Twitter.

My first book I am reading in preparation for next year is Soon Ha Lee’s Conservation of Shadows. Already, the unique language has juxtaposed some thoughts for me and fostered two more story ideas.

When is a writer to get any rest between this Sirens Hangover and the day job? I’m exhausted over here!

Where have you been that has given you a kick in the butt to get creative and read, write, do more?

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Monday Blues

If your day job is not doing what you love, Mondays (or whatever day counts as the first of your work week) suck.

Spend the weekend doing what I love – writing, or acting, or both – then go back to the job that allows me food and a roof. Monday becomes the morning after Cinderella’s ball. Over and over and over.

It’s hard.

Maybe that’s why I opted for the Monday slot here on Anxiety. I always have something creative to do, to produce on what is quite possibly my most hated day of the week.

What saves me the most is knowing that my creative life isn’t just on the weekends. It fills in the over-morning-coffee time, the break time, the evenings . . . it’s never far away.

But my last week and a half has been intense. Shifting back to work-mode has gained an extra difficulty setting this week. Eight straight days of rehearsal, followed by three performances of a ridiculously intense show. And the day before opening night, I finished the Damned Novel Draft.

Now I’m faced with three days without the play (though if I don’t run lines, my director will rightfully kick my ass) and no story to create.

Downtime. I dislike creative downtime.

One more weekend of performances, then off to DC for World Fantasy Con. That Monday-after will make today seem like heaven. The solution: have another damn project started by the time I get home.

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Photo Shoot Adventures: Courtesy of Red Rose Photography

If you’ve got a keen eye, you’ll notice that the profile picture for my social media platforms and my bio page here on Anxiety has changed. Today I want to take a step back from writing about writing and talk about my experience with the photo shoot.

A while ago, somewhat out of the blue, I decided it was time to freshen up my “professional” writer image and get my name out there on my own. Which in my mind created the following list (in order of priority): get professional pictures taken, get something published for my platform base, design a website, get in touch with various social medias, and launch said website. Insert the act of writing here and there.

I picture aesthetics first with any project I undertake. A big part of my process is having an image in my head. Kate can attest to this, my primary concern is always what something will look like even before I worry about content. It’s a habit I’ve yet to shake, even though initial image and final image are usually worlds apart.

Having decided I needed pictures taken -good pictures- I thought about all of the photographers I know. Then I thought about the ones who would be willing and able to work with my insanity because 1) I have never done head shots before, 2) I wasn’t certain head shots were what I wanted, and 3) I didn’t know where I wanted them taken. Logically, I approached someone who works with natural light and has never done head shot type pictures before.

Luckily, Katie Zanusso is marvelous working behind a camera and she did an amazing job taking pictures of me! The experience itself was good in the way jumping head first out of your comfort zone is. I’m not vain enough to love having my picture taken; having it taken repeatedly was something altogether strange for me. But Katie, with the help of her lovely assistant, made me feel extremely comfortable and got some good laughs out of me.

More importantly, Katie was able to make my pictures convey everything that I wanted: approachability, professionalism, a connection to the natural and urban, and a sense of fun/humour.

It was a crazy day. We started off on foot in the parking lot of the Inglewood Fair’s Fair; transitioned to the Inglewood Bird Sanctuary, which turned out to be closed(?!?) so we ended up in a nearby field; made a brief stop for some shots with sandstone and funky stairs; then we headed west to where the Elbow river branches off the Bow. We were all so tired by the end of the day that I didn’t realize till later how much work Katie put into the entire affair. She acted as chauffeur amidst brain-dead/Saturday/downtown Calgary drivers and creative genius picking out beautiful spots. Is anyone surprised my only location suggestion turned out to be closed due to flood damage?

I can’t say thank you enough! I don’t think I did say thank you enough…

Katie/Red Rose Photography pulled out all the stops and the mutual experiment was well worth it. I love all of the images and am truly grateful. If you’re looking for a fun professional and quality products I sincerely urge you to think of Red Rose Photography! Katie is based in Edmonton but things can always be worked out. Obviously.

Now, because I know people have been waiting to see them, an assortment of my pictures:

       

Bonus points to anyone who can guess which is my favourite!

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Get Well, Jessica!

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Jessica will be on a posting hiatus. I know we will all miss her and will look forward to some epic posts upon her return!

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The Rejuvenative Power of Writing Conferences

It’s been a while since I’ve had the oomph (scientific term) and I have been dry on ideas for writing topics.

Which is a topic in and of itself.

This last week, I was in Portland, WA & Stevenson, WA for Sirens, an academic and writing conference and focused on women in fantasy literature. Surrounded by authors, readers, scholars, and publishing professionals, it’s different from other writing conferences I’ve been to. It’s a mix between a conference, the best lectures and discussions you had in university, with a splash of summer camp to round it all out. And between the “OMG I LOVE THE AUTHOR STANDING BEHIND ME AND I’M FREAKING OUT,” moments and the it’s-okay-to-disagree discussions on reads, both popular and obscure, I feel rejuvenated.

I’m not new to Sirens; I’ve attended all six iterations of the conference and there is a reason I keep coming back. Even when I’m unsure about the themes. Which, this year, I was.

Hauntings. When I heard hauntings, I was nervous and unsure. I don’t read horror. I don’t particularly care for gore in my stories. After all, most of horror is analyzed as phallic-symbols being stabbed into one another (a topic that came up). Ghosts? I could take ‘em or leave ‘em.

And then we started talking. The definitions of terror, atmospheric settings, the gothic manifestations of women’s concerns in a supernatural metaphor, how horror opens the ways for unlikable and unapologetic heroines. The more we talked about haunting themes, the more I understood that my fiction fit the definition in the form of old promises that might not be fulfilled, entrapments of the mind that destroyed one’s mental wellbeing, and a choice between undesirable options that would leave lingering regrets no matter how assured one was.

The discussions sparked my urges to write, to draft, to further develop my plans to meet my 50K NaNoWriMo goal this year. I’m ready and amped, centered and inspired, curious and creative. I have my oomph.

What gives you that drive to write? What relights your fire and gets you going again?

The post The Rejuvenative Power of Writing Conferences appeared first on Anxiety Ink.

The Rejuvenate Power of Writing Conferences

It’s been a while since I’ve had the oomph (scientific term) and I have been dry on ideas for writing topics.

Which is a topic in and of itself.

This last week, I was in Portland, WA & Stevenson, WA for Sirens, an academic and writing conference and focused on women in fantasy literature. Surrounded by authors, readers, scholars, and publishing professionals, it’s different from other writing conferences I’ve been to. It’s a mix between a conference, the best lectures and discussions you had in university, with a splash of summer camp to round it all out. And between the “OMG I LOVE THE AUTHOR STANDING BEHIND ME AND I’M FREAKING OUT,” moments and the it’s-okay-to-disagree discussions on reads, both popular and obscure, I feel rejuvenated.

I’m not new to Sirens; I’ve attended all six iterations of the conference and there is a reason I keep coming back. Even when I’m unsure about the themes. Which, this year, I was.

Hauntings. When I heard hauntings, I was nervous and unsure. I don’t read horror. I don’t particularly care for gore in my stories. After all, most of horror is analyzed as phallic-symbols being stabbed into one another (a topic that came up). Ghosts? I could take ‘em or leave ‘em.

And then we started talking. The definitions of terror, atmospheric settings, the gothic manifestations of women’s concerns in a supernatural metaphor, how horror opens the ways for unlikable and unapologetic heroines. The more we talked about haunting themes, the more I understood that my fiction fit the definition in the form of old promises that might not be fulfilled, entrapments of the mind that destroyed one’s mental wellbeing, and a choice between undesirable options that would leave lingering regrets no matter how assured one was.

The discussions sparked my urges to write, to draft, to further develop my plans to meet my 50K NaNoWriMo goal this year. I’m ready and amped, centered and inspired, curious and creative. I have my oomph.

What gives you that drive to write? What relights your fire and gets you going again?

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