Kate Larking's Blog: Anxiety Ink, page 2

Female Antiheroes, Where Are You?

My apologies for not getting a post up the past few weeks. Life exploded two weeks ago and I was exhausted when things finally calmed down and then last week I got quite sick and was not close to recovered by the weekend. But I’m back now!

A few weeks ago I came across a headline in the midst of my Facebook feed that I could not resist reading: “Difficult Women: How Sex and the City lost its good name,” mostly because the blurb contained the words “female anti-hero.” As many of my past posts can attest to, I am a huge fan of antiheroes.

While I can’t claim to be a Sex and the City fan, this article made a compelling case about how the show’s image has changed in pop culture since its creation; Nussbaum argues that it gets a bad rep because it was about women’s concerns, especially women who don’t fit the role model mould. I used to be a casual observer of the show so I don’t think the arguments presented are groundless. Reading Nussbaum’s article also made me realize there is a serious lack of female antiheroes on TV, in movies, and in books, yet male antiheroes are built up in our popular imagination.

I could easily come up with a list of male antiheroes but I am still struggling to think of any women who have hit the same level of notoriety as the men. And that makes me sad. Why do women always have to serve as some kind of moral compass? And if they don’t their lives are inevitably cut short in fairly unpleasant ways—just think of all the Disney villainess’s deaths, even compare them to their male counterparts’. And of course, as this article points out, if they are permitted to live full lives, the characters and their stories are degraded.

I’m certainly going to think about this article when I approach my own fiction. I have a tendency to write on each side of the spectrum, my women are either very “good” or very “bad.” I need to remember that full characters have to be a mix in order to be complex. And that just because my characters are female doesn’t mean they have to be the good one or grow into the good one in order to illustrate any kind of change.

What do you think?

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Done Doesn’t Actually Mean “Done”

So you’re done. You finished your novel – edited, received feedback, revised. You’ve polished it to within an inch of it’s life and made it as good as you can. If you never see it again, it will be too soon. Time to move on to the next project.

But wait! It’s done, but are you? Unless you want that story you’ve poured so much of yourself into over the years to languish in a drawer forever, there’s more!

Full disclosure: I’ve only made it this close to done once before. I was young and didn’t know how much I didn’t know and it . . . was bad. It embarrasses me now just to think that I sent out something like that.

If you decide to self-publish, you have a slog ahead of you in formatting and cover art and busting ass on publicity. Or, if you’re like me and haven’t given up on the idea of traditional publishing, you have query letters and synopses. Those things no one warned you about.

Query letters are like cover letters for a job. They suck. (If you are that bizarre type of person who enjoys them, please TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!) But there are plenty of resources out there to guide you through crafting them.

But the synopsis?

See, the synopsis generally comes into play if you’ve queried and they’re interested enough to request more, but aren’t asking for the full manuscript yet. Maybe their submission guidelines said they want the first five pages with the query letter, so then they’ll request a partial – maybe the first five chapters – and a synopsis.

So. What’s a synopsis? Until a couple years ago, I hadn’t heard of it in relation to the writing submission process. Or maybe I did, but ignored it because that’s what I do when I don’t fully understand things or find them overwhelming. It’s a family trait.

A synopsis might be one page, or five pages, or ten. Or so I hear. I have yet to make it far enough into the process to supply one. No matter the length, a synopsis contains the whole of the book in summary. The beginning, the main plot points, the major characters and relationships, and the ending.

Just in case the possible length variable isn’t tricky enough, the synopsis should unfold as the story does and feel as much like the story as possible. It needs time and attention and polish, just like your novel.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any tips or tricks to share. Except the obvious: get critique. Have beta readers. Just make sure they don’t mind spoiling the ending!

When it comes to the synopsis, I don’t particularly know what I’m doing with it. Please share any resources you know in the comments! Have any synopsis stories of your own or words of wisdom? I’d love to hear them.

So I’m done with writing the novel, but I still have a ways to go before maybe, some day, getting it out in the world.

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Done: An Exercise in Letting Go

Done is such a weird feeling.

I finished typing The Damn Novel. Someone asked me about it, then suggested it might be Spirited Away in noir, or Neverwhere in Tokyo. I’m not convinced the comparisons are apt, but I love the idea of “Spirited Away meets Neverwhere.” (It’s more like Mercy Thompson meets Spirited Away, and I still have my doubts on that comparison.)

Now, this novel is DONE. I didn’t have enough changes this draft to justify making another pass. Holding onto it now would be merely an exercise in procrastination.

But my brain has been niggling at me to go in and fix one teeny tiny thing. And I won’t because it’s not plot-relevant. Because I fix that one thing, and there will be something else after it.

As Elsa sings, “Let it go.”

…I just hit peak Mom, and we haven’t even introduced Disney yet.

Also? Pitch Madness, better known as #PitMad, is this week. June 7, 8 am – 8 pm EDT. This is the first PitMad I’ve had a story ready for. Which means time to work out a tweet-length pitch and get my query letter ready to go. And cross my fingers that I don’t have to churn out a synopsis.

Related: if you have favorite resources on crafting query letters and synopses, I’d hugely appreciate you sharing them in the comments!

But the novel is done! And it only took me two weeks to write this post (thank you, baby)!

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Diving Back into Reading and Writing

As I waited for inspiration to strike about a topic for today’s post, I realized that I have been horribly disconnected from the reading and writing world this year. I don’t know when any of my favourite authors are releasing new books. I barely know what books were released this year—thankfully I subscribe to a number of book emails so I am not completely in the dark. I only know about big writing related scandals because of my Facebook feed. And I haven’t really spoken to anyone about writing except for the conversations I have about Anxiety Ink topics.

The course finally wrapped up this week after a slightly mind-numbing final assignment and I’m more than ready to start diving back into reading and writing, but I don’t really know where to start.

My manuscript is calling my name. My to-be-read pile is out of control. My to do list is so long. My cats are desperate for my undivided attention. And I’m about ready to hide under my covers.

Yes, I’m still in the post-completion exhaustion wave and I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed. And yes, I’m definitely over-thinking things. It’s what I’m good at. Right now, I think my best course of action is to re-visit the goal sheet and see what I can do before my next check in.

Read more often? Without the textbook staring at me from my desk top, this one should be a cinch. I just need to get to bed a bit earlier than I have been lately.

Find a community? My Google search was interrupted today, but at least that’s a start.

Finish projects? The want is there—finally!

Like I said the week before last, I’m ready for a mental break after the months of going full tilt with deadlines. At the same time, I like to be relatively busy and my creative drive is in desperate need of an outlet. While I’m playing in the garden this weekend—desperately hoping something sprouts soon in the terrible dirt I didn’t nurture prior to planting—my mental gears will be turning.

Now I’m off to read—and think about writing. Do you have any recommendations concerning either?

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Waiting for Experience

One of my biggest weaknesses as a human being and a creator is my need to wait. If you caught my first goal post this year, you’ll see that I have a terrible habit of waiting for everything to be just right no matter what I’m doing. It’s a personality aspect I’m working on, but as everyone knows change is slow and difficult.

In terms of being a creator, I feel this constant pressure not only to wait for everything to be perfect but also this need to wait for more experience. I can narrow that down by saying that I feel as though I should wait for more life experience(s) before I attempt to write about any character’s life. Even as I type that I feel foolish because the majority of what I write about I will never experience—and not only because it’s not possible in terms of nature or science in our world.

This is when my imposter syndrome begins to kick in and I start to feel like a fraud as a writer. If I’m not an expert at something or I lack first-hand experience with something else, occasionally I feel like I shouldn’t write about them. The reality is that no one can be an expert at everything and no one can experience everything. One, that’s why people read. Two, this is why writers research diligently and consult outside professionals and those with first-hand experience.

More than likely this is an excuse devised by my subconscious to distract me; either way, it can be a frustrating obstacle to surmount when I’m trying to write. Again, it’s a work in progress.

One of my major goals this year is to stop bringing all my baggage with me, or at least stop constantly unpacking it when faced with any kind of roadblock. I need to relax more when I approach tasks, like writing, and even new experiences, or repeats of experiences that did not go so well the first time.

As a writer, and person, all I can do is put my best foot forward, do my due diligence, and work hard, this waiting for experience isn’t helping me in any way. And whoever said learning on the fly is a bad thing?

What about you? What do you do when faced with imposter syndrome or other similar writing blocks?

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Are You Also Ready for Some Lazy Summer Days?

I am officially in countdown mode when it comes to the course. Today makes it 11 days, one textbook chapter, a minimum of two discussion posts, and one massive final assignment until I’m free and get an actual day off again. Do I need one? More than I thought I would.

I know I’m likely repeating myself, but you people who can do school full-time around a full-time job…I am impressed with you. Or I think you’re a monster. Either way, I couldn’t do it. It doesn’t even come down to poor time-management skills, I simply don’t have the energy to be busy 24/7 for such a length of time. At least I’m done my certificate earlier than anticipated!

But I am ready for some lazy weekends. It hit 30 degrees one day this week in my neck of the woods—that makes it officially summer, right? I’m ready to hit the garden this year, go hiking, maybe splash around in the river a bit.

I love summer. I generally do my most prolific reading and writing during the summer months. I don’t know whether it’s the long, sun-filled days or the time spent hiding from the heat and direct sunlight, but June to September are typically my most creative in terms of volume. Last year was a wash due to courses and an increased social life. I have absolutely no idea what this summer holds but I won’t have courses—hopefully I’ll be applying everything I’ve learned somewhere, somehow and have spare time again.

I’ll be honest, though, this June may also be a wash because I really want a break from deadlines and piles of work. Still, my manuscript has been calling my name. I’ve been thinking about my story a lot the past couple months and I think it’s ready to come out of the proverbial drawer. I’m both excited and nervous about that. I’m excited because it’s been a long time since I’ve felt the itch to work on one of my fiction pieces; I’m nervous because I know how much work my manuscript needs. It’s work I want to do, but it will be a lot of work.

Regardless, I’m playing it by ear at this point because I have no idea what my summer holds in any respect. I’ll set deadlines at some point in the next few months, right now I want to relax and fit in some quality time with my cats and people.

What about you? When are you at your most creative during the year?

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Fear of New Beginnings

Is there a term for the fear of new beginnings? Or perhaps it’s more a fear of endings. (I just finished reading Carrie Jones’s Need* series, in which the main character “collects” phobias and recites them when nervous or scared.) Maybe it’s just called “being human.”

I have this on my mind because I just finished typing my resignation letter for the day job. After eleven years in the wilds of post-college adulthood and employment, four and a half of which I’ve been at my current location, I’m leaving.

I thought it would be easier. After all, I’ve only dreamed of this my entire adult life – possibly earlier. But it feels a bit like that time I rolled off a ledge into a thirty-foot drop.

My mother did the stay-at-home-mom thing, and I think our mothers’ choices often define the standards we set for ourselves. Unfortunately, that isn’t making this any easier.

The status quo – in this case, the day job – offers comfort. Or maybe that’s complacency. Comfort of a paycheck, certainly. Relying on one income is difficult, to say the least (especially with a baby), and would not be really feasible without supplementing from savings. I am beyond fortunate that this is an option, even for just a year or two.

But my current, soon-to-be-ending job has also provided me with a safety net career. Apparently, municipal administration is work I can do – and do well – without feeling like I have to sacrifice a part of my soul. When I leave the standard workforce, I have no guarantee it will welcome me back.

And in the type of parallel that rarely happens to me, I feel a similar reluctance in my writing life.

I’ve finished the novel revisions. I am in the process of typing them up and, for the last few weeks, have been searching for a new project to fill the gap.

This draft is my last before I send it out un the world, to fly or fail. There will always be things I can improve, but the story is truly as strong as I can make it. Holding onto it longer would be no more than a delaying tactic – procrastination at its finest.

My indecision and ambivalence towards the next project, whatever it might be, is that same sort of fear as leaving the day job: the fear of new beginnings. The fear of leaving behind the comfortable and familiar and embracing the pure potential of the unknown.

For now, I’m structuring a schedule of my own – a framework to replace the day job. I am attempting to fill the space when I worked on revising the novel with reading until I can make a decision on my next project. Maybe I’ll make a little progress on my to-read pile (don’t laugh too hard)! At the very least, I’ll be refilling the well. It feels pretty dry, these days, when I think about working on new stories.

So I know I’m facing my fear, but it’s still scary.

 

*The Need series is wonderful and you should totally go read it. Because Carrie is a fabulous human being, and evil pixies, and because it takes place here, in my corner of the world.

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Any Publicity Is Good Publicity?

I’m sure you’ve heard about the latest scandal rocking the romance world this week. As awful as the whole situation is, it is providing an excellent opportunity to discuss publicity and even audience.

Just in case you aren’t in the know about #cockygate, an author recently decided it would be a good idea to trademark the word “cocky”, contact Amazon, and have them pull any book with “cocky” in the title so only her books would be available. At least that’s the version of events I know. More has happened over the past few days but I haven’t successfully kept up with the story.

In any case, you can’t successfully trademark a common word, but it will take over a year for the legal mess to fight the trademark to wrap up. This means a lot of other authors will be hurt and have to put in a lot of time and effort so their sales don’t suffer.

Which leads me to the question: Any publicity is good publicity, right? No, no it is not.

This is obviously a big stunt designed to get this author’s search and sales numbers up. Whether it was her own brainchild or she was advised by someone I do not know, and honestly I do not care. It’s one thing to pull something to get attention, to get your name out there, it’s another thing to pull something malicious and hurt your fellow authors.

What especially blows my mind here is the group she attacked. Not only did she do this within the close confines of the romance community, she did this within the erotica community, one that is small and highly tight-knit. Romance and erotica writers always have each other’s backs, you hurt one, you hurt them all, and they are incredible when it comes to supporting one another. When you factor in their fans…it’s a behemoth she’s taken on.

My initial reaction to this story was shock, this woman has completely destroyed her career within romance, I don’t think there’s any coming back from something like this. She’s officially a pariah. Granted, this ended up working out for James Frey, but you don’t see his name on a lot of books these days.

What’s more, this author has proven she isn’t at all community minded and she’s willing to step on other authors to get what she wants. That’s the image she’s painted of herself—it’s not pretty. This is a prime example of when someone does not know or understand their audience.

Speaking for myself, I much prefer to stand on my own two feet and compete the honest way. If I don’t stack up to the competition that means I need to grow as a writer, not take down those around me. Perhaps I’m naïve, but that’s how I operate. I wouldn’t want to be known as the author who tried to ruin others. I’m all for a good marketing campaign but I don’t want to be known as a bully. I don’t even know that I would want fans who thought positively of such negative actions.

This entire thing baffles my mind. What’s your take on this scandal?

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Common Themes Across All Writing: Audience and Persuasion

The more I grow as a writer, the more commonalities I see between each and every form of writing I come across. Not that I always believed that. At quite a young age I decided I was going to become a writer—regardless of any other jobs or careers I might find myself in at some point, writing was the end game. If you were to ask me when I made that decision if I was going to try my hand at any other type of writing, like blogging, nonfiction, or technical, I would have scoffed. With a great deal of attitude. I wanted to write fiction, and fiction only, because everything else was boring.

Now, older and wiser, I appreciate the tenacious attitude that spurred me to do many things, but I have to belly laugh at my naivety. Yes, fiction writing it still the end goal, but I find that I rather enjoy all of the other writing I’ve been exposed to over the past decade.

University exposed me to the art form of essay writing. Yes, nerd alert, but I love writing essays. I love analyzing a piece, cultivating an argument, accumulating evidence, and then arguing my case. Setting up this website exposed me to the world of niche blogging and writing specific content to a specific audience. Despite time constraints and the occasional lack of ideas, I adore writing for Anxiety Ink. It keeps me focused on why I write and the aspects of writing that keep me writing. Now, being exposed to the world of “professional” writing, I’m learning to appreciate all of the things that tie writing together, namely audience and persuasion.

No matter what you’re writing, you’re writing to an audience; in fact, it’s usually a very specific audience. I’m not going to address the readers of my university essays the same, or with the same language, as I do readers here or of my fiction, and vice versa. I’d get a lot of raised eyebrows if I started doing so, and then my audience members would quickly disperse.

Voice, intention, details, and all the little bits that make up writing are all dependent on the audience. Sure, I, as the writer, get some say but at the end of the day it’s the readers that make the final decision. I have to write for them or I’m pretty much writing for air.

Persuasion, though, is slightly more complicated. I debated bringing it up in this post, but I think it’s relevant. In terms of audience, no matter what I’m producing, I am essentially persuading someone somewhere to read my work and act on it. Depending on what it is, each piece is going to have a different call to action. With my stories, I’m hoping to entice readers to read more of my work and share it with their friends. With my posts, I’m hoping to produce something that will resonate with other writers so that they either take from it, are able to share something with me in turn, or are willing to share it with like-minded individuals.

Like I said in my opening, the more I learn about the craft the more I’m able to see the little branches that connect all forms of writing together. My strengths lie in certain areas and I have weaknesses in others but being able to bridge concepts allows me to develop greater skills and increase my confidence. Keeping all of this in mind helps me write better, and with better intention.

What do you think? Do you write with your audience in mind at all times? Do you think you’re good at persuading people with your words? Do you agree with me?

 

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Why Not: An Argument

Last week, I shared an image I saw on Facebook. In it, a Tumblr user paraphrases interactions they’ve had regarding characters of the non-white, non-cisgendered, non-heterosexual variety: “Why is this character xyz?” The author’s answer: “Why not?”

So I posted this. And someone I respect quite a lot commented that the “why not” attitude was lazy writing. That it indicated that the author tossed the diversity in for the sake of diversity, rather than taking the time and making the effort to think about what it means and how it fits within the narrative as a whole.

If only more white writers took the time to consider why their characters are white and how their whiteness fits into the narrative.

And I understand his point. I am a fan of making narrative choices for considered, thought-out reasons.

But in a literary world with so little representation of diversity, “why not” becomes an incredibly important question to ask.

The way I write, my first drafts are a generally me throwing out everything I can think of and seeing what sticks. But I’m terrible at including diverse representations in that first draft. I make an effort, but I struggle. Then as I edit and beta readers call out my shortcomings, my writer-brain makes suggestions. This character should be genderfluid, those two women should be romantically involved.

Here’s a secret: sometimes, I don’t want to make those changes. I don’t want to put in the work, so sometimes I look for reasons not to. This is how I discovered the power of the “why not” question. Overwhelmingly, I find reasons to follow through with the changes. They offer solutions to plot holes and weaknesses I hadn’t even articulated to myself yet.

Recently, I got a new story idea. For reasons that make sense in my story-brain, my main character’s family tends pretty exclusively to male. But I write female main characters. Because that’s what I do. So to keep her from being surrounded by male characters, I figured she’d have a trans cousin. Except . . .

Why couldn’t my main character be trans? That would make more sense than her being some fantastical exception to the rule.

So. Why not? Because it will be a hell of a lot of work. True, but lazy. Lazy is not a legitimate reason. So why not? Because I’ll probably get it wrong and be offensive and cause more harm than contributing to a lack of representation. And what if my story somehow keeps a trans voice from being heard?

Ok, the damage done by harmful representations? Real. So very, very real. That’s why sensitivity readers are so important. I have friends and communities I can draw on for that.

My voice being heard in place of someone who is trans? First off, I would hope that if it comes down to my story or a story written by someone with that lived experience, the publisher would not choose mine. If I have voice or choice in the matter, that will be my priority. Secondly, my story is not about what it’s like to be trans. I have not lived that experience and that is not my story to tell.

Granted, that supposes that not only I write this idea of mine, but that it gets so far as consideration by a publisher.

So if you’re not writing diverse representations, why not? Seriously: why is your fictional world less fantastically diverse than the one we live in? And if you’re trying to figure out if your character should be another ethnicity/heritage, or gender, or sexuality, honestly ask yourself, “why not?”

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