Kate Larking's Blog: Anxiety Ink, page 20

Catching Those Stereotypes

After months of exchanging short Facebook messages and reorganizing calendars, Kate and I got a chance to meet up on Sunday. As usual, our conversation eventually made its way around to writing. We’re both trying to hit the same deadline for the same anthology and we’re both in a hazy patch with our stories. It’s always a great idea to discuss the hazy patches with fellow writers!

While discussing my story, we kind of blazed past my hazy issue because another one came up: stereotypes.

The protagonist of my story is an emotionally scarred, insecure werewolf who happens to be in a relationship with a witch. Both are female. While telling Kate about them, the first words out of my mouth were, “she’s a lesbian werewolf with jealousy issues.” Kate simply turned her head and said, “Just be careful about the jealous lesbian stereotype.”

That kind of stopped me in my tracks, and I took a moment to think about my character. She’s not so much jealous as extremely insecure. And her issues stem from the werewolf bit, not her relationship status or sexual identity.

The thing is, I’ve only recently realized all that about her. I developed this character years ago for a different story, except now she’s the protagonist, not a sideline person. I had her backstory mostly figured out, and just a few months ago I sat down and wrote down each of my main character’s motivations for my current story because I was stuck.

On the surface, from my own notes, I’ve got a man-hating lesbian with violent tendencies who was constantly been misused by men. On the surface. I’m mad at myself. I’m annoyed that I fell into some easy LGBTQ+ stereotypes, but a lot of her personality comes from the werewolf part. However, people aren’t going to read it like that.

And that’s what’s dangerous.

Even before talking with Kate, I was having issues with my character. Her backstory wasn’t jiving. Things didn’t feel authentic or right. I realized she doesn’t hate men and she wouldn’t label herself as a lesbian. Yes, she’s been misused by men but that hasn’t made her any angrier than anyone else who’s been misused by others.

I need to be very careful in my story and make sure the proper dots are connected. Step one, learn what not to do:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/24/lesbian-stereotypes-_n_3808202.html;

http://flavorwire.com/400566/the-20-worst-depictions-of-lgbt-characters-on-film;

http://jezebel.com/5205953/pssst-the-girls-guide-to-lesbian-cliches–stereotypes;

http://www.gurl.com/2015/08/04/movies-with-lazy-lesbian-stereotypes/#1.

I could not believe some of these tropes! I am still a bit floored that the world sees people in this light. But the world sucks sometimes.

Step two, learn how others are doing it right:

http://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/1103323/lesbian-stereotypes-rooney-mara-cate-blanchett-avoid-in-carol.

 

When it comes to writing marginalized characters it’s important to do your homework. I know that. I like to hope that I would have ditched the jealous bit and anything resembling stereotypes before submitting, but I’m happy to have been cautioned. Something was feeling off from the get-go and this may have been it.

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My Name is Kate, and I have Journal Anxiety

I’ve been flip-flopping on writing about my journal anxiety for a while. Part of it was the shame of feeling like a failure.

But when I was talking with former Inkette Jessica Corra, I found someone who felt the same way.

What I Mean When I Talk About Journal Anxiety

Journal anxiety is the profound feeling of unworthiness that comes when one writes in a ‘nice’ journal. The benchmark of what constitutes a nice journal differs from person to person.

I find myself paralyzed when it comes to using journals that are leather or faux leather, Moleskines or comparable style and quality like Leuchttrum1917s, or any really pretty journals.

I don’t want to write in them. I have the journal, I own the journal, and I carry it with me, but I don’t feel that my words or ideas are worthy enough to go into the journal.

Even when it a pretty journal is the only journal I have with me when an idea strikes, I will weigh between spoiling the ‘perfection’ of an unmarked page. Half the time I’ll pull out my iphone and put the idea in the notes section (you know, that abyss where ideas are never found again).

The only reason I was able to complete my February Freewriting Challenge was because I had a journal I didn’t feel like I had to ‘respect’. Even as I write that, I am berating myself “You’re respecting an inanimate object?!” Yes, internal dialogue, I recognize you as depression and anxiety. But you’ve persisted so long I don’t recognize you until later.

I Basically Collect Blank Journals

I get journals as gifts–a lot of them. I buy journals. I have a thing for stationery. I write letters and I never like to use the last sheet in a set because I want to keep an archive of all the prettiness that has come before. I love quality gorgeous journals but I just can’t write on the pages.

I occasionally want to cave and buy crap notebooks to just fill them…but the draw to the pretty is too strong…and too counter-productive.

So, please tell me I’m not the only one with a major case of journal anxiety but the irresistible draw to them.

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Ink Links Roundup

I have a couple links to share this week, and I hope you enjoy them! First up: 6 Ways to Convince an Editor You’re Not a Professional. Really, the title says it all. Basically, this is a list of what not to do.

My second link is fantasy research-related and it has made me think. A lot. So How Does a Centaur Eat, Anyway? For all that fantasy abounds with the magical and impossible, you have to make your reader trust you enough to suspend disbelief. That is, you have to stick to an internal logic. And most of us default to the world we know for rules of physics and biology. Or we think we do. More often, we default to the conventions of stories that have gone before.

And maybe the scientific reality doesn’t matter to you, but you will always have readers – maybe just one, maybe entire hordes – who see the flaws and can’t abide them.

Kate has an inspirational link to share:

Okay, so it`s not about writing. But seeing these Sailor Moon backgrounds really reminds me how important it is to have a style when writing and that focusing on some magical things in life really makes the whole scene better.

Elisa likes to travel but she would never consider herself a globetrotter. However, this post makes an excellent argument about the benefits of travel when it comes to writing. Plus, Cruising Writers sounds amazing.

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Be Kind To Yourself: A Reminder

In case you didn’t pick up on it in my last post, frustration has abounded lately. Remembering to be kind to myself has been difficult, to say the least.

Self-kindness (or self-care – they’re often the same) can feel counterintuitive. I need reminders to do it, and how to do it. So this week, I thought I’d share a far-from-complete list, subject to constant change. Because life.

Limit screen time. Sometimes I need it to make my brain shut off or to help it recharge. The problem is that it can become a black hole. It sucks time and energy and willpower if left for too long.
Stand in the sun. Close your eyes, let the warmth soak in, listen to the birds chatter that winter is finally over.
Go to a play, or a concert, or the ballet – but only if it won’t break the bank! Keep an eye out for buskers or park performances, or go to a museum on a free admission day (if you have a local museum and if they do free admission days). These are all different ways of telling stories. Who knows? They may inspire something for you.
Forgive yourself. I have really struggled with this one for the last couple months. I don’t have control over fatigue and how much energy it leaves me at the end of the day. It’s ok if my writing for the day only amounts to a single sentence or paragraph. That’s more than I had before; it counts.
Say no, or at least set the expectation. I’ve missed meetings for my theatre group and set a narrow window of availability for a project because to go to the meeting or to stay past 8:30 pm would make the drive home dangerous. Exhaustion is dangerous and I wasn’t taking the risk I might fall asleep while driving. Not worth it. It limited my options and may have been a factor in the death of the project, but I had to set those boundaries.
Get up. Walk around, stretch. Remind yourself that your beautiful mind is connected to a physical body. Maybe step outside and soak in the sun or dance in the rain. Be flexible like that.
Cross things off your to-do list. It’s ok to pick the tiniest, simplest things! They’re easy to do, and once done they feel like so much more.
Spend time with the people you love. Again, be careful of the double edge of additional demands on your time and energy. You’ll probably feel obligated to them, but refer back to #5.

What would you add to this list?

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Returning to the Quagmire

If you follow us on social media, I’m sure you’ve noticed that during the start of 2017 the three of us started sharing posts from our early days, or other websites. Reading my old blog posts is fun and thought provoking, when I’m not wanting to smack myself upside the head. I’m fairly impressed that I only wince once in a while.

Recently, I read and re-shared my post Quagmires: Pros and Cons. At the time, I wasn’t concise, but my post summed up how I feel about being quagmired in one WIP –I was stuck editing a short story at the time. Here’s a list that breaks down both sides of getting stuck in the quagmire:

Pros:

Focusing on one piece sees it to completion sooner;
It allows for a strong grasp of setting and character because other people and places don’t distract;
It allows for a strong understanding of the story, i.e.: you’re able to pick up where you left off because nothing else started buzzing in your head;
Basically, you’re very present in that story.

Cons:

You’re not producing any new words –editing produces new words but it’s not quite the same;
You’re not getting any new stories out there and therefore not exploring new people or places;
This can mean you lack a means of creative expression –especially while editing, because you’re analyzing;
Boredom. Sometimes editing comes with some boredom.

Even now, the items on my pros list are much more significant than those on my cons list. As much as a writer wants to produce, eventually you have to sit down and rein it in if you want to get your words out there. Raw words can’t be exposed to the reader. But still, you want to produce!

I find myself grappling with this issue right now because I have a manuscript I want to start editing, a short story that is going to need so much editing, and more stories I want to write. And I just can’t do it all.

It’s important to remember that editing is an essential part of the writing process, and focus is integral to it. Perhaps when my life is better balanced and I’m not in the middle of fifty things and I can start editing my manuscript, I’ll give myself cheat days or a cheat slab of time in which I can produce new words. That way I can keep on top of my writing goal and not go stir crazy.

We’ll see. Right now I just want to finish my story.

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Themed Work Days for Writing

One thing I have been trying lately is doing themed work days for writing.

The Idea

The idea started with The Creative Penn podcast #310 where Joanna Penn interviewed Joanna Wiebe on Copywriting for Authors. Penn mentioned Financial Fridays and Wiebe talked about content writing days, where she slogged through all the content work she needed to get done for the week.

This wasn’t the first time I had been exposed to the idea of themed work days. All the mentions of themed work days for writing built up and it was timely to implement. I had three days off coming after countless hours of overtime, my wife and baby were out of town, and no few other plans.

The Plan

So my plan for the themes work days was:

Saturday – Crash and Burn Comic day
Sunday – Social day (I already had an engagement so I thought I would run with it)
Monday – Content day (Can you guess when I am writing this post?

My Crash and Burn day comprised of work I had put off: format the print file of the comic, update the Crash and Burn Patreon, update the website, getting signage quotes and dimensions for upcoming conventions, etc. I thought, yeah, if I have time, I’ll write more and get further ahead!

Sunday, see all the people. Write letters. Poke all the social media beasts.

Content day, write so many blog posts I can finally relax for a bit with my overtime workload continuing at the day job.

The Execution

Crash and Burn day was a success. I finished most of the work by 3pm (including reformatting the print files TWICE because I’m the most amateur formatter alive. And then I just got an email that I have to do it again and I’m DYING INSIDE).

By that time, though, I did not have enough energy to write. My brain was too far into the admin-formatting space.

A tip if you do themed work days for writing and you write a to do list: do not have your next day’s list visible to the page you are working on. I worked ahead on a few things and got frustrated.

Sunday was a jumble. Plans change when they involve other people, but I did get out for a few social engagements. I didn’t get the letters done because I had not slept well the night before.

Another tip if you do themed work days. When you finish your list, really don’t try to shove other stuff in unless it fits with your theme. At this point, you have permission to relax because you kicked some serious butt! So rest!

Monday, I am in the thick of the content writing for Anxiety Ink. Hilariously, I woke up to my house internet not working. I decided not to try fixing it so as to force me to focus. So far? It’s actually working quite well.

Would you try themed work days for writing?

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Ink Links Roundup

How is the psychology of mythology not fascinating? This might be a bit dense – it reads more like a piece in an academic journal than a blog post – but understandable and fascinating. I love this sort of thing.

From Kate:

Want to know what readers love? Check out these 51 top YA quotes.

Elisa adds:

Elisa loves dystopian fiction, whether it’s young adult or not. These six stories pull from reality to create worlds that are increasingly disturbing. And if YA isn’t your style, you can always brush up on The Handmaid’s Tale and 1984 –two stories Elisa highly recommends.

I have an unexplainable attraction to dystopian stories, so I know what I’m adding to my to-read pile!

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2017 First Goals Check-In

Are we only three months into the year? That feels like an impossibly short amount of time, but it has managed to fly by. I need these posts to keep track of my goals and take stock of where I am with them.

My year started off with a bang, in the best possible ways. My husband and I restarted Creative Hours to amazing effect, which kicked off a whole lot of creative things. Not just in writing!

But speaking of writing . . .

I finished the novel before February. Though I still don’t quite believe that happened. It then went to beta readers. Some whip cracking is on the horizon, since I’d asked that they return their comments two weeks ago.

Since then, I’ve slowly started whittling away at the novel rough draft I put on hold in order to complete the revision. Rocky start, but that’s a whole other blog post.

No short stories ready for submission, but I did get rejections back for the stories from last year! Go me!

Onto the theatre news . . .

Or, rather, lack of news. I auditioned for one play and took an audition master class that kicked my ass. I got paid for a few minutes of my time, which might become ten seconds of screen time in a terrible movie. Not much in the way of acting, but fun for bragging rights. And it makes a pretty good story.

By some stroke of luck – which had everything to do with awesome people and little to do with me – I received an invitation to participate in a reading of a new play. Though thanks to logistical nightmares, the project is holding indefinitely.

And! I launched a new blog series here (in case you’re new here or haven’t checked in for a while) Theatre Wisdom for Writers. Just remember: I’m a total amateur with no formal training.

And the social media goals . . .

My Windows phone is not long for this world. I butt heads with its limitations more and more frequently to a point that renders it obsolete. It is not the platform I want, so the transition to Instagram remains in limbo.

For my personal blog, I started off the year well! But now I have two months without a single post. Many planned, many scrapped. Life threw a particular curveball that made for a severely pared down couple of months.

How about that travel . . .

This year, I’m keeping it close to home. For financial and other considerations. But next month I spend a weekend in Massachusetts for my ten-year college reunion! (Can I feel old yet?)

And today I discovered a slight possibility of a crazy New York City weekend with a theatre friend.

Beyond that? Well, I can’t go to my little sister’s wedding in Vegas in November. My grand west coast tour is a thing of dreams this year, as well.

Again, that curveball life-thing, which I really can’t talk about here until it’s at least Facebook-official. Sorry.

In conclusion . . .

What conclusion? We still have three quarters of the year to go!

My year started with a crazy bang, entered a lull for a month or two thanks to exhaustion and burnout and craziness, and now I feel it picking up again.

I also have a feeling I have more goals to add, but not today. Look forward to that in the next installment!

 

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2017 Goals: First Check-In

I know I say this every single quarter, every single year, but I can’t believe it’s already the end of March. The first three months of 2017 have been a whirlwind as I’ve made big life decisions, set myself up to learn new and exciting things, and watched as politics around the world get more insane.

However, I’ve had a relatively positive quarter, so I’m going to focus on that!

As we all know, my word for 2017 is balance and while I’m still having unbalanced moments, I’m getting it together. So far the measurable goals and things-in-my-face approach are working. I have made a lot of extra work for myself, which I predicted in my goals announcement post, but I can’t argue with the results.

Here’s what I’ve managed to accomplish since January:

Write at least 3 days a week –Last week was the very first week I missed a day. It was also an awful week on every imaginable front so I am forgiving myself. I quite literally looked at my tracker and said out loud: “Holy shit, it’s Friday. I missed my other days.” Some weeks and days are much more productive than others, but I’m getting words down.
Submit each short story at least three times over the year –so far only Brew Disaster has been submitted once (and rejected).
Read a minimum of 68 books over the year –I wrote about my accountability with this goal on E.V. Writes. I’m a wee bit behind but I’ll catch up. *fingers crossed*
Write a new short story –a WIP is going. I figured out a major hurdle, so it’s going better!
Learn how to meditate –Almost two weeks ago exactly I was on Pinterest and was led to a blog where the writer mentioned a meditation app. I downloaded it, gave it a go, and I am already seeing results. I’m annoyed it took me this long to get on this goal.
Keep up the good exercise trend! –on it!
Cook –I have to figure out a way to get motivated with this one, however, I am consistency cooking on Tuesdays because I have an evening commitment.
Try something new –I have been ALL OVER this one! In January I tried out a yoga class and in February I signed up for school and March saw me take on meditation.
Look on the bright side and lose the frustration –this one is a work in progress.
Participate in NaNoWriMo 2017 and exceed 2015’s word count –TBD.
Finish writing RA2 –have not gotten to this one yet.
Turn RA1 into a readable manuscript –this one either.
Read outside my comfort zone: add plays and poetry –I have a poetry book in mind and enroute.
Change one habit each month to be greener –January: unplug sleeping technology. February: stop idling my vehicle unnecessarily. March: stop leaving the fridge door open.
Leave the day job at the day job –I’ve been doing better with this one.
Make time for hobbies –I’ve been good about reading but not much else.
Learn how to make a t-shirt quilt –TBD.
Be more social –when the weather is better I will prioritize this.
Relax during vacation! –I did a wonderful job of this when I went to Mexico in January –yet another new thing I tried.
Explore different writing communities –honestly, I forgot about this for the most part.
Be accountable to the 6 month plan –I am in love with The Plan.

Now all I have to do is maintain this positive, forward moving momentum for nine more months!

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First 2017 Creative Writing Goal Check-in!

It’s that time of year where I check in on the creative writing goals! I don’t totally remember what I set them as so seeing how I’m doing is going to be a surprise!

You may recall, my goal was to create this year. And I have to say, I was well on my way for this in January and the first part of February…but the last month and a half at work have been SO BUSY I have barely had time for lunches, let alone creative work.

Writing
Crash and Burn

Goal for 2017: Write at least 6 chapters of Crash and Burn.

How’s it going? I’m on my way for this. I have done 1.5 chapters this quarter and would have done more if not for doing all the administrative work for having a physical volume ready for Calgary Expo at the end of April. I also wrote a flash fiction side story for the bonus content in the volume (:o! Who’s the focus? You’ll have to get your hands on the copy to find out!).

Short story for Sirens

Goal for 2017: Participate in the anthology with a story. Submission window is February 1- April 30, 2017.

How’s it going? *Blood drains from face* Oh yeah, this thing I haven’t had time to work on at all. I did write half a story, but it was a scene playing out around my character, not the character acting to change her world. I liked it but…it wasn’t holding me, let alone readers. So I have one month left to sort something out for this.

Personal Writing

Goal for 2017:

Develop a consistent writing schedule. It doesn’t have to be every day, but I do need something more than, “My deadline is in two days. Better get those words out now.”
Plot, write, and edit the first instalment of my spacepunk story and plot the next two.
Draft and write a version of my cyberpunk story I might potentially shop to agents/publishers.
Draft and write some of my original story idea rework that hasn’t left me alone lately.

How’s it going? Oh, I’m behind. I have underestimated how difficult it would be to set aside time to do writing when I have full-time/overtime work and an infant at home. Once work settles into something more manageable and less event-heavy (I do not like working weekends), I will set aside more time for writing.

Conversations

Goal for 2017:

Get that KateLarking.com redesign done!
Continue my New Mom Writer series here at Anxiety Ink.
Start out my Confessions of a Book Buyer series at KateLarking.com

How’s it going? I’m behind, again. But I have made progress on all of these, mostly the New Mom Writer series here on Anxiety Ink.

Learning

Goal for 2017:

Read 5 cyberpunk/RPGLit/VR/space adventure books
Read book on comic writing (I own it and have been looking at it…)
Read text on interactive storytelling creation (a joint project in the future with Crash and Burn artist Finn Lucullan is in the cards)
Stretch goal: complete the Sirens 2017 reading challenge.

How’s it going? I’ve been reading fiction! Or at least trying to. I keep getting swamped with ARCs I want to read, such is the life of a book buyer.

Balance

Goal for 2017:

Attend 2 conferences this year
Sell at 4 markets/expos/festivals
Make time for writing sessions

How’s it going? First major expo is coming up in a month and we are almost ready to go. Conferences are after the year’s midpoint, but the writing sessions… I need to get those into gear.

How’s it going for you?

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