Kate Larking's Blog: Anxiety Ink, page 16

Conference Ruminations from an Intermediate Writer

When Words Collide is only a couple of months away and I am trying to be extra prepared since I know I’ll be busy with coursework when that weekend rolls around. My vacation from work, which I normally plan around the conference, has also been interfered with so I have to be extra creative with my time and energy.

Looking at the panels in the works, I found myself hemming and hawing over what I wanted to attend. I had a similar issue last year and I realized something: I’ve outgrown a lot of the writer specific topics that I would normally be all over. However, I’m not at the stage where I’m ready to discuss my work with editors or publishers, and I’m really not ready to think about my marketing strategy. You need a polished product for all of those things and I don’t have one.

I would consider myself an intermediate writer sine I know a great deal about the actual act of writing and what needs to go into a story, like plot/story arc, character development, setting, and so on. I have a very rough completed manuscript, but it’s completed. I know the importance of editing, both by myself and getting an outside set of qualified eyes. I understand traditional publishing and going the indie route. I understand blogging and social media platforms, though I strive to continue growing with these.

As a veteran of WWC, I’m noticing it is much more geared towards newbies and those ready to network. I fall smack dab in the middle, which leaves me directionless. This lack of direction leaves me kind of frustrated.

I’m going to be much pickier about what I attend this year because I think a few panels have started undermining my ability to create–I’ll be discussing this in another post in a few weeks–and because of the day job I can’t throw myself into the weekend like I usually would.

I think I need to look into some different cons as far as my personal growth goes, but my ability to attend anything outside of Calgary depends on a lot of factors. It’s just not feasible in my immediate future–I hope that changes soon.

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Cafe Writer (or the Ultimate Writer Cliche)

This post is to talk about the ultimate writer cliche: cafe writing.

You can picture it in your head, easy peasy. A writer–any writer–with a cup of caffeine at their side, staring out the cafe windows as the word passes by. Always eavesdropping, occasionally scribbling in a Moleskine notebook with handwriting that leaves legibility to be desired.

Some writers talk about this cliche. It can be a harmful image for writers, making them seem as flippant and unproductive, not treating writing as the profession it is. I’ll admit that I don’t like this image of the writer, either.

The reason why I am bringing this writer cliche up? This is the writer I am turning into. Except not the relaxing, lazy cliche of a cafe writer.

My version?

Obligatory-patronage beverage at my side, I have my earbuds in and playing music despite their inability to drown out the cafe’s own preferred music mix. My bullet journal is open beside me, letting me know the top 3,285 things I have to be working on.

I glare at my computer while I tap-tap-tap away at the keys. I sigh whenever I have to backspace a typo. But I am writing with as much concentration as possible. Because this might be the only hour I get this week to get words in and I have a comic script chapter due last week, a blog post to queue for 7am tomorrow morning, and full-time work between then and now.

For the last few months, I have had maybe two hours each week set aside to write. And I know that if I don’t use that time to the fullest, I will just be full of regret and frustrated at myself the rest of the time.

Some days I go with an accountability partner. Hilariously, for a while, it was Jessica Corra, editor for the charity anthology I was writing for. I literally had my editor staring at me writing the story for the anthology.

This month the focus has been on comic chapters. Last month, it was the anthology story. Next month? I don’t know if I will have cafe time. I have to go back to full days at work and I will be drowning in ALL THE FALL BOOKS (seriously, I think there are at least 30,000 frontlist titles I go through for fall?). But if I do manage to get an hour here or there, you can bet I will be glaring at my computer and daring it to function any slower.

Cafe Writer Image Source

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Ink Link Roundup -YA LGBTQ reads, deleted scenes, logistics, and inclusive conferences

This week’s roundup really should have something for everyone.

Elisa says, Kate and I were just discussing the great YA LGBTQ+ books that are coming out this year! Here are a few you should check out.

http://rivetedlit.com/2017/06/15/18-perfect-reads-to-celebrate-pride-month/?cp_type=enpm&rmid=Riveted_Weekly&rrid=6512055

And, I’m also a big fan of writing/saving random scenes to either squeeze in later or put in a different work altogether.

http://amazonauthorinsights.com/post/160441286967/writing-tip-save-deleted-scenes-and-language?ref_=aai_fp_wr%C3%A9e?ref_=em_gr

Melissa says, Algebra came easily to me in school, though I can’t claim to have truly enjoyed it. But logistics? Weirdly enough, logistics make me happy. They’re puzzles to be solved. Maybe that’s part of why I write fantasy, but that doesn’t mean the weird math of it is easy! http://www.tor.com/2017/06/16/algebra-for-fantasy-writers/

Kate says, any conferences looking for a solid framework for making an inclusive and safe space for a conference should look at WisCon’s example. This article details the experience: http://lithub.com/at-the-worlds-preeminent-feminist-speculative-fiction-convention/

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Just What Is Worldbuilding?

When I hear “worldbuilding,” my first, immediate thought is of encyclopedia-length tomes of information. Close behind that, I think of the complexities of fantastical worlds.

But your world doesn’t require fantastical complexities . It doesn’t require Tolkien-length treatises.

Unless it does.

Do whatever you need. Do whatever the story needs you to do. But please don’t believe your world or your craft is any less valid if you don’t have those things.

I’ve received some amazing compliments on my worlds. They always surprise me because I’ve never compiled a giant compendium of any world I’ve created. (I tried it once, but lost interest after the first page.) I’ve never approached a story with the thought, “How am I going to create this world?”

Well, there’s some of that thought, but in a less analytical sense and more holy-crap-what-am-I-doing sense.

So July 8th, I’m running a workshop on worldbuilding. That fact has made me stop and take stock of what that term means to me. Because I am not the person to teach how to research, or what questions to ask, or what checklist to check. I don’t work that way.

Telling a story is a dialogue between the writer and reader. You can write encyclopedias on your world creation, but what matters to me as a reader is what makes it on the page. How do you bring this world to life? How to you make a reader believe it with every breath – even if that world circles another sun or overflows with spells and magic?

However you lay the foundation behind the scenes, readers care first and foremost about what makes it on the page.

When I read a story set somewhere I’ve been, I want to recognize it. I want the story to transport me back there. Catherynne Valente did that over and over in her gorgeous, lyrical novel Palimpsest. Many others have disappointed me because it might have been anywhere. It didn’t feel true.

If a character visits the Acropolis in Athens after a rain, she had better watch her footing. Millennia of feet have worn the raw mountain marble glass-smooth. If she runs around and doesn’t slip, I no longer believe the story.

And in fantasy and science fiction, I think that illusion of reality becomes even more important. Truth and belief lie in the details. That’s where you’ll find your world.

 

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Audience, Pros and Cons

Coming out of my post last week about inspired versus forced words, I was trying to figure out why I’ve struggled with certain projects lately yet excelled with others. The one story I had been opening weekly and adding meagre words to is one I was hoping to submit to an anthology–with a deadline quickly approaching as I struggled to get it done. Conversely, the other story I opened at random recently is in a genre I don’t write and I’m writing it for myself. If it turns into something worthy of other people’s eyes I may submit it, but at this point it’s my fun practice project.

Looking at the pieces side by side, one theme came to mind: audience. Which led me to one conclusion: when I’m writing for an immediate audience my anxiety is increased tenfold and I find excuses to not write. I avoid that invisible person looking over my shoulder by avoiding writing. However, when I’m writing for myself, just myself, I feel free to just get the words down.

This isn’t a new concept. Writers have struggled with this since there have been writers.

Sometimes, like when I’m blogging and imagining an audience, it helps me shape my post so I’m focused and not boring people to death with extraneous details. I’m aware I don’t always excel at that…

But when I’m writing fiction, the opposite is true. The need to make my piece “perfect” before eyes are laid on it can be crippling. This isn’t always the case, but more often than not that’s how I feel (especially now that I have so much time to think about the actual act of writing).

It’s a vulnerability thing. With blogging I usually know what I’m talking about and what I want to say. I have a sense of authority and I feel good about what I’m writing and sharing. The stress of a deadline helps me get things done.

When I’m writing a story I feel exposed, so when I think of someone reading it before I feel it’s ready it’s like I’m personally being judged and evaluated.

Being a writer is complicated.

I’m still on the surface of this audience idea. I think this means I need to approach my stories with a different mindset. I have to write like no other human is ever going to see anything I get down and then edit like every human is going to see everything.

I know the importance of keeping the writer and editor brain separate but I need to go that extra step so I can actually get the words on the page. It’s like stress, there’s good, motivational stress, then there’s unhealthy, crippling stress. With an audience, even a perceived one, there’s going to be pros and cons.

We’ll see if this helps with my output moving forward. I sure hope so. There are some projects I’m really excited about that I want to get done so I can eventually share them.

 

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The Stress of Blogging

Sometimes, I find that the stress of blogging really starts to bog me down.

For instance, three months ago, I was two months ahead with my blog posts and was able to regularly post links to social media. In the last month, I have been squeaking in posts the day before they go live (like right now) and I don’t even have time to return once they are posted to share them properly on social media.

Life is never a steady trickle of things to do and demands to be met. And now is no different.

Work is in high gear and I am desperately trying to bridge the gap between now and when I will be on parental leave.
The comic always seems to have a surge of work built up, either in chapters to be written or administrative demands that are reaching critical mass.
Baby is on a good week (we think?) but last week is enough to make us wary of what’s coming next.
I’ve caught something that keeps switching between a coughing cold and allergies.
I sprained my left wrist–which is the one that is usually fine–and I’m realizing all the things I now do with my non-dominant hand to save my right hand for writing.

My allocated writing time for this week? precisely 1.5 hours which I am attempting to use now.

I have contemplated quitting this blog–but I ultimately need to stay on. I love keeping a record of my writing progress, goals, and struggles. I love knowing that others feel a kinship with what I express here.

But, in all honesty, sometimes I just want to drop a week or two. I want to use my writing time for keeping up with the next chapter of the comic, or planning out the next short story I want to write, or even finally getting to work on the novels I wanted to write this year.

It’s a love/hate thing. It’s a no-time thing. It’s a I’m-coughing-too-much-right-now thing. But I don’t want to stop.

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Ink Link Roundup -the psychology of writing routines and self-publishing

This week’s roundup is sure to have something for every writer.

Elisa is a big believer in routine, and fully appreciates the psychology of a good writing routine. But not living alone means she has to sacrifice some of the best advice in this article. Still, when she does get her perfect office, she’s implementing some of these ideas.

https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/08/25/the-psychology-of-writing-daily-routine/

Kate says, self-publishing is a legitimate means to make a living and it seems that news outlets are starting to catch on…

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/jun/08/buying-houses-in-cash-and-selling-millions-meet-self-publishings-hidden-authors

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Better All The Time: Halfway Goals Update

Goals updates alway surprise me. I spend so much time believing I kick my heels, going nowhere. But when I look back, I realize that what felt like fruitless circles are really massive strides. This time, I’m in an active, productive cycle, which helps make me feel like I’m getting better.

I have a feeling 2017 will continue to be an on-again, off-again type of year. I mean, it started with a bang. Creative hour’s resurgence propelled me through a revision. Then I got pregnant and first trimester exhaustion made creative functioning all but impossible.

That writing days tally? I haven’t used up my full 52 break days allotment, but I have no idea how few I have left. Being at the halfway mark, I could reset it easily enough. But quite honestly, I’ll lose it again. When the little one comes, if not before.

Somehow, theatre opportunities and events kept piling up. At four months pregnant, I did three auditions in a week and a half. Why? because I’m ridiculous. New experience: turning down a role offer. But all is still right in the world! No offer from the second audition. The third was an open call for a professional theatre company, with callbacks to take place over the summer.

I didn’t completely bomb it! And I’m proud of myself, which is all I can ask.

So. Social media. About a month ago, I upgraded my phone. (Finally!) Wow, the connectivity and ease of use is lightyears better. Social media has become so much less stressful. I even have – and use – an Instagram account! Find me @writinginterrupted.

I used it a bit over the weekend in Portland for my nephew’s high school graduation. Good time with family and nice to get away, especially as travel continues to be a bit of an odd duck this year. Here’s hoping I make it to Reader Con!

But writing. Writing is the crux of what we do here, so how am I doing?

Well, I’m starting the revision process. Again. And many awesome anthologies int eh works mean potential short stories simmering on back burners. But this novel…

I want the novel revised before the baby comes. Maybe that’s ludicrous with a full time day job, baby planning and associated worries, an upcoming production, and the rest of life. Not to mention my track record.

Probably the only one I’m kidding is myself.

Oh, yeah. And I’ve just started this thing with writing workshops. Or, rather a writing workshop, at this point. Time and place are set and confirmed! Now to just get enough bodies.

My writing productivity tanked sometime in February. Focus? don’t make me laugh. Part of this stems from the usual burnout cycle, part of it life, part of it discipline (or lack of), and a whole big chunk of it made up of my body’s changes and constant drain of baby-on-the-brain.

But things have been getting better. I’ve been getting better.

And now she’s kicking.

Did I mention we’re having a girl?

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Forced Words vs. Inspired Words

There’s an excellent image that keeps cycling on my Facebook feed:

(I found this courtesy of Writers Write)

I’m one of those writers who has always been guilty of writing only when inspired or when everything is just right. Because life is life, I’m not inspired nearly often enough and things rarely come together so that I feel like writing. I’ve talked about this before and how it has negatively affected my output for years.

Which is why this year one of my goals is to get words no matter what. I don’t care if it’s a small amount of words, progress is progress at this point. And sometimes being forced to make my three days of writing per week means I hit decent milestones and overcome obstacles that would have kept me from writing completely.

Lately, I haven’t been doing very well making my goal. I’m averaging about 25 words per day which is roughly 75 words a week. Obviously, I’m not making much headway, but considering all the things I’m juggling outside of work, it’s not that bad. At the very least I’m producing.

However, yesterday, as I was standing at work pondering just what the heck I was going to blog about today and realizing I also needed to get my fiction words in for this week, I remembered one of my side projects. A scene popped into my head, a scene I had already written and determined wasn’t right. Thinking about the new one that formed and the old one that didn’t fit, I had to decide exactly why it didn’t fit. Which caused another scene form—I really love when the hard work is done for me.

Finally, at the end of my day, I opened my draft and read what I had already written since I needed quite a refresher given the months it’ been since I even thought about my story, let alone added to it. I typed for roughly a half hour and produced 1207 words before I had to call it a night.

I didn’t even write the scene I want to rewrite or the totally new scene that thought of. The difference between being inspired and forcing myself to write is as different as black to white. The words were flowing easily and I was actually enjoying the process. That’s the writing I love to do. Pulling my teeth sucks.

But I know that I’m not always going to be inspired and anything worth doing should be moderately difficult. I really needed to feel that joy to reinforce why I write. This is also why I have side projects—you never know when you’ll need them.

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Cluttered Creative Brain

Excuse me a moment while I talk about my cluttered creative brain. I often find myself upset and despondent, unable to decide what I should or need to be doing.

Right now, at home, my wife and I are endeavouring on some belated spring cleaning. We need to baby-proof the house as the little one is on the cusp of mobility–aka total havoc. The table is covered in ARCs that I wanted to read–or at least flip through!–and receipts I need to tally for Crash and Burn expenses. But I don’t just want to put the ARCs away because then the piles of my hoarded ARCs and books will just grow ever-larger. So to get rid of them, I want to read them.

But to have time to read is to have time to clean, or to have time to spend with baby, or to have time to write. And I have chapters of Crash and Burn due, plus stories for anthologies, plus there was that whole goal to write books this year.

Basically, my brain is swamped with all the things I need to do and little ability to prioritize any one thing. On top of all of this, my full-time job is more physically demanding (oh, yeah, condense your sections and rearrange the whole trade section into less than half the space O.o!) and I am trying to get 3 months of work done ahead because I am taking parental leave and no one will be able to cover my area of the store.

Sigh.

I will be honest and say I wasn’t expecting to have so little time after having a child. Yup, I was naive. So anyone out there balancing a full workload, a writing side hustle, and a family? You have my condolences, and support.

So give me a hand.

How do you tackle overload? How do you break things down so you can attempt to get things done?

Or, you know, how to you let go some of the books you want to read in favour of writing your own?

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