Stephen Clarke
Born
in St. Albans, The United Kingdom
October 15, 1958
Website
Twitter
Genre
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A Year in the Merde
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published
2004
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1000 Years of Annoying the French
40 editions
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published
2010
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Merde Actually
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published
2005
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Talk to the Snail: Ten Commandments for Understanding the French
38 editions
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published
2006
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Merde Happens
34 editions
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published
2005
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Dial M for Merde
30 editions
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published
2008
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Paris Revealed: The Secret Life of a City
24 editions
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published
2010
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The French Revolution and What Went Wrong
3 editions
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published
2018
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The Merde Factor (Paul West, #5)
14 editions
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published
2012
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Merde in Europe
8 editions
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published
2016
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“If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.”
― A Year in the Merde
― A Year in the Merde
“I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and stomps across my ceiling to megaphone the kids awake. The kids drop bags of cannonballs onto the floor, then, apparently dragging several sledgehammers each, stampede into the kitchen. They grab their chunks of baguette and go and sit in front of the TV, which is always showing a cartoon about people who do nothing but scream at each other and explode. Every minute, one of the kids cartwheels (while bouncing cannonballs) back into the kitchen for seconds, then returns (bringing with it a family of excitable kangaroos) to the TV. Meanwhile the toilet is flushed, on average, fifty times per drop of urine expelled. Finally, there is a ten-minute period of intensive yelling, and at 8:15 on the dot they all howl and crash their way out of the apartment to school.” (p.137)”
― A Year in the Merde
― A Year in the Merde
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