Michelle Fegatofi's Blog, page 16
September 10, 2013
New Book Cover Revealed!
You may have heard me talking about the new book I have been working on for the past several months that focuses on submissives. I am happy to announce that the cover has finally been completed and I'm revealing it to you all today! I am also very proud that my Padrone Marco Fegatofi was the one who designed it.
New Book Cover
This is an in-depth guide for submissives new to the lifestyle and for those just wanting to broaden their knowledge more. It starts with what a submissive is, moves to common terms in BDSM, contracts, continues on to possible punishments, what to look for in a Dominant, and ends with a very thorough Limits Worksheet in the back. There are many more topics covered, but too many to name here. I tried to pack as much information into this book that would help you gain knowledge and choose the path that is right for you, without steering you in one particular direction. I firmly believe that BDSM is a personal choice that has to be discovered, practiced, lived to suit individual wants/needs/desires.
Stay tuned over the next weeks as we reveal the entire Table of Contents. The actual book should be published and available in paperback and ebook versions very soon!
New Book CoverThis is an in-depth guide for submissives new to the lifestyle and for those just wanting to broaden their knowledge more. It starts with what a submissive is, moves to common terms in BDSM, contracts, continues on to possible punishments, what to look for in a Dominant, and ends with a very thorough Limits Worksheet in the back. There are many more topics covered, but too many to name here. I tried to pack as much information into this book that would help you gain knowledge and choose the path that is right for you, without steering you in one particular direction. I firmly believe that BDSM is a personal choice that has to be discovered, practiced, lived to suit individual wants/needs/desires.
Stay tuned over the next weeks as we reveal the entire Table of Contents. The actual book should be published and available in paperback and ebook versions very soon!
September 6, 2013
Seals/Awards for Original BDSM Content
Around the internet, seals or awards are widely spread. They are mostly used around the internet on blogs that display the same type of content or share the same values. Normally, each seal has a set of rules in which the site/blog/page has to comply with. Having such a seal can be a good way to grow specific communities that subscribe to the same values and content. Taking part in this type of group is a good indicator of the site/blog/page's beliefs, but does not mean other pages displaying similar content but not displaying a seal (or that particular seal) are fakes, wrong or that their content is not to be trusted. It just means that those having a seal belong to a group of networked pages and possibly share the same values. Some BDSM pages/blogs have their own seal where they belong to.
We have been working on making our own official seal for the past several months to present to pages around the web (on various platforms) that share similar values and display similar, but diverse, content as ours. Once we launch this new seal and ask certain sites/blogs/pages to display it, it will not mean that all other sites/blogs/pages not showing our seal are fakes. It will simply mean that we haven't seen those particular sites/blogs/pages yet, or that they are simply not a part of our group or network. The sites/blogs/pages displaying our seal will mean that page posts mostly their own original BDSM content and does not mostly share articles or pictures that are widely spread across the internet. We have never, nor will we ever, imply that people practicing a BDSM Lifestyle has to practice it the way we do. We believe that as long as SSC or RACK is in use and all parties involved in the relationship are consenting and knowlegable, there is no wrong or right way to live a BDSM lifestyle.
Now, to the main reason for this post. There is a group on Facebook that started out as a page sharing group to help grow and boost likes/followers within that particular group. It was originated by a BDSM page that has a large following. They recently made a seal and added it with the title 'Best of BDSM' to their group to distinguish those pages from other BDSM related pages on Facebook. They just did something that many other pages/sites/blogs do on the internet and there is nothing wrong with this. It is a good way to set the pages of a particular network apart from others on Facebook because, as you know, there are hundreds of Lifestyle related pages.
The part we have an issue with and think is very wrong, is that when they announced this seal addition, they misled their audience. They claim all pages not carrying their "official" seal are fakes and do not provide real or good BDSM content. They also imply that any page other than those displaying this seal may actually give harmful information to their followers. They go on to say that only the "elite" BDSM pages on Facebook will be the ones to carry this seal. There is no authority in the BDSM Lifestyle community that can make any page/group official, nor does any group have a right to dictate their beliefs and try to impose those beliefs on anyone in the BDSM community.
Facebook itself can, and has, initiated their own 'Facebook Verified Fanpage' seal. This seal was started as a way to distinguish official celebrity and brand pages from unofficial pages opened by fans or others. It has nothing to do with the belief system or actual content of a page. The entire metrics on how to obtain this verification from Facebook has not been completely revealed to the public as of yet, but two of the criteria that has been revealed is that a large fan base/number of likes has been established and that the page has to have been up and functioning on Facebook for a certain amount of time. Here is an example of a real Facebook Verified Fanpage. Anything else you see is made up by the page itself and is not a REAL Facebook Verified Fanpage.
Official and Real Example of Facebook Verified Fan page
The owner of the page that started that seal has admitted to having two years or less experience in the actual BDSM lifestyle and is training her own Dominant on how to be a Dominant. We are in no way stating that the pages she has gathered into her group are bad or that they do not display good BDSM information. What we are saying is that no one, especially someone with little or no actual proven lifestyle experience, has the right to call all other pages not displaying the seal she had made, as fakes.
It is up to you to decide who and what you want to believe. But, as followers of the blog/FB pages, as well as possible readers of the book BDSM Basics for Beginners, you know knowledge and experience when you see it.
Don't be taken in or fooled by the false information or fake verifications displaying " Official Facebook Fan Page ✔ Verified Account " ! If you believe it is worth it, spread the word!
We have been working on making our own official seal for the past several months to present to pages around the web (on various platforms) that share similar values and display similar, but diverse, content as ours. Once we launch this new seal and ask certain sites/blogs/pages to display it, it will not mean that all other sites/blogs/pages not showing our seal are fakes. It will simply mean that we haven't seen those particular sites/blogs/pages yet, or that they are simply not a part of our group or network. The sites/blogs/pages displaying our seal will mean that page posts mostly their own original BDSM content and does not mostly share articles or pictures that are widely spread across the internet. We have never, nor will we ever, imply that people practicing a BDSM Lifestyle has to practice it the way we do. We believe that as long as SSC or RACK is in use and all parties involved in the relationship are consenting and knowlegable, there is no wrong or right way to live a BDSM lifestyle.Now, to the main reason for this post. There is a group on Facebook that started out as a page sharing group to help grow and boost likes/followers within that particular group. It was originated by a BDSM page that has a large following. They recently made a seal and added it with the title 'Best of BDSM' to their group to distinguish those pages from other BDSM related pages on Facebook. They just did something that many other pages/sites/blogs do on the internet and there is nothing wrong with this. It is a good way to set the pages of a particular network apart from others on Facebook because, as you know, there are hundreds of Lifestyle related pages.
The part we have an issue with and think is very wrong, is that when they announced this seal addition, they misled their audience. They claim all pages not carrying their "official" seal are fakes and do not provide real or good BDSM content. They also imply that any page other than those displaying this seal may actually give harmful information to their followers. They go on to say that only the "elite" BDSM pages on Facebook will be the ones to carry this seal. There is no authority in the BDSM Lifestyle community that can make any page/group official, nor does any group have a right to dictate their beliefs and try to impose those beliefs on anyone in the BDSM community.
Facebook itself can, and has, initiated their own 'Facebook Verified Fanpage' seal. This seal was started as a way to distinguish official celebrity and brand pages from unofficial pages opened by fans or others. It has nothing to do with the belief system or actual content of a page. The entire metrics on how to obtain this verification from Facebook has not been completely revealed to the public as of yet, but two of the criteria that has been revealed is that a large fan base/number of likes has been established and that the page has to have been up and functioning on Facebook for a certain amount of time. Here is an example of a real Facebook Verified Fanpage. Anything else you see is made up by the page itself and is not a REAL Facebook Verified Fanpage.
Official and Real Example of Facebook Verified Fan pageThe owner of the page that started that seal has admitted to having two years or less experience in the actual BDSM lifestyle and is training her own Dominant on how to be a Dominant. We are in no way stating that the pages she has gathered into her group are bad or that they do not display good BDSM information. What we are saying is that no one, especially someone with little or no actual proven lifestyle experience, has the right to call all other pages not displaying the seal she had made, as fakes.
It is up to you to decide who and what you want to believe. But, as followers of the blog/FB pages, as well as possible readers of the book BDSM Basics for Beginners, you know knowledge and experience when you see it.
Don't be taken in or fooled by the false information or fake verifications displaying " Official Facebook Fan Page ✔ Verified Account " ! If you believe it is worth it, spread the word!
September 4, 2013
Fetishes - Did You Know......?
The subject of sexual fetishism is one of those taboos that is, well, not all that taboo. In the right atmosphere, people barely hesitate to share what "really turns them on," and you'd be hard-pressed to find a women's magazine that hasn't delved into the subject of fantasies, sex toys and stuff-he-won't-tell-you-he-wants.
Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish. A sexual fetish may be regarded as an enhancing element to a romantic/sexual relationship "achieved in ordinary ways (e.g. having the partner wear a particular garment)".
What are the five most common sexual fetishes today? Body piercingsHairLeather (masks, clothing, etc)Stiletto heels (the closer to erotic dancer versions the better)Feet
Bizarre Historical Fetishes
Fetishes have been around for centuries, probably even longer than recorded history. Yet, many people don't have a clue to some of the more bizarre ones that were popular in centuries past.
Tentacle Rape - Late 18th Century - The modern tentacle rape genre was created by Toshio Maeda, whose manga Urotsukidoji "created what might be called the modern paradigm of tentacle porn," which we suppose in Japan is actually seen as an accomplishment rather than grounds for a sexual assault conviction. According to Maeda, he started the practice in order to get around Japan's strict censorship laws, which forbade the depiction of a penis but did not forbid penetration by anything else. While Maeda may have created the modern tentacle rape, he wasn't the inventor--not even close. Maeda was preceded by Katsushika Hokusai, an artist from the late 18th and early 19th century. Hokusai was the artist of the "Thirty-Six Views of Mount Fuji," an internationally recognized series of prints that earned him fame both locally and globally. Hokusai's "The Dream Of The Fisherman's Wife" is speculated to be the first instance of tentacle erotica, so by all means don't click that link if you're at work, there are children present or you have a soul.Autoerotic Asphyxiation - 17th Century - Experts say that on the list of most frequent causes of embarrassing deaths, autoerotic asphyxiation ranks just below tequila and above backyard wrestling. While the term "sex accident" may sound awesome--like a high speed collision with a tractor trailer made of nudity--the reality of it is hotel staff discovering your body strangled to death and clutching your genitals in a kung fu grip. According to ABC News, roughly 500 to 1000 young men accidentally die each year during autoerotic asphyxiation. Erotic asphyxiation goes back to the 1600s, when it was used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction, presumably because the patient in question would rather be dead than go on living.Foot Fetishism - 13th Century (or Earlier) - Put simply, the foot fetish is a sexual attraction to feet, be they wrapped up in stockings or bare. Foot fetishism has many forms, and can range from simple kissing and licking to full on penis massages. The first mention of foot fetishism we can find dates back to 1220 AD. Experts think the fetish got its start due to fear of STDs (history records show a lot more foot lovers during syphilis epidemics, like those of the 16th and 19th centuries). Keep in mind that back then, pretty much everything in the world gave you some version of the plague, let alone the festering bog of some peasant's vagina. Necrophilia - Fifth Century BC - This is having sex with dead bodies. Psychologists have theorized that there are a number of reasons why someone would be attracted to corpses, chief among them being the desire for a lifeless and unresistant partner (well, duh). But apparently the whole craze started the same way so many things start - with mummies. Herodotus (the Greek historian who lived in the fifth century BC) wrote in his Histories that, in order to stop people from having sex with corpses before mummification, the ancient Egyptians left them to decay for three or four days before handing them off to the embalmers. That's right: Necrophilia was such a problem for these guys that they had to take active preventative measures against it.Sadomasochism - 470 BC - Sadomasochism involves two consenting partners engaging in a style of sexual roleplay characterized by domination and submission. One partner, the dominant, inflicts pain, while the other partner, the submissive, receives it. S & M covers a wide range of activities, from simple verbal abuse and light spanking to full-blown flogging and humiliation. So if de Sade wasn't the father of sadomasochism, who was? Tarquinia's Tomb of the Floggings contains some of the earliest erotic artwork known to man, and they're almost 2,500 years old (dating around 470 BC). In addition to numerous depictions of orgies and guy-on-guy butt-tastic sex, we have a scene of what is clearly two dudes filling out one woman while whipping her back.So the next time you are thinking about your own fetishes, hopefully you will wonder about its origins.
Look for more Fetish related posts in the future because this is an endless subject!
Leave any comments or interesting facts below! We love hearing from you!
Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish. A sexual fetish may be regarded as an enhancing element to a romantic/sexual relationship "achieved in ordinary ways (e.g. having the partner wear a particular garment)".
What are the five most common sexual fetishes today? Body piercingsHairLeather (masks, clothing, etc)Stiletto heels (the closer to erotic dancer versions the better)Feet
Bizarre Historical Fetishes
Fetishes have been around for centuries, probably even longer than recorded history. Yet, many people don't have a clue to some of the more bizarre ones that were popular in centuries past.
Tentacle Rape - Late 18th Century - The modern tentacle rape genre was created by Toshio Maeda, whose manga Urotsukidoji "created what might be called the modern paradigm of tentacle porn," which we suppose in Japan is actually seen as an accomplishment rather than grounds for a sexual assault conviction. According to Maeda, he started the practice in order to get around Japan's strict censorship laws, which forbade the depiction of a penis but did not forbid penetration by anything else. While Maeda may have created the modern tentacle rape, he wasn't the inventor--not even close. Maeda was preceded by Katsushika Hokusai, an artist from the late 18th and early 19th century. Hokusai was the artist of the "Thirty-Six Views of Mount Fuji," an internationally recognized series of prints that earned him fame both locally and globally. Hokusai's "The Dream Of The Fisherman's Wife" is speculated to be the first instance of tentacle erotica, so by all means don't click that link if you're at work, there are children present or you have a soul.Autoerotic Asphyxiation - 17th Century - Experts say that on the list of most frequent causes of embarrassing deaths, autoerotic asphyxiation ranks just below tequila and above backyard wrestling. While the term "sex accident" may sound awesome--like a high speed collision with a tractor trailer made of nudity--the reality of it is hotel staff discovering your body strangled to death and clutching your genitals in a kung fu grip. According to ABC News, roughly 500 to 1000 young men accidentally die each year during autoerotic asphyxiation. Erotic asphyxiation goes back to the 1600s, when it was used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction, presumably because the patient in question would rather be dead than go on living.Foot Fetishism - 13th Century (or Earlier) - Put simply, the foot fetish is a sexual attraction to feet, be they wrapped up in stockings or bare. Foot fetishism has many forms, and can range from simple kissing and licking to full on penis massages. The first mention of foot fetishism we can find dates back to 1220 AD. Experts think the fetish got its start due to fear of STDs (history records show a lot more foot lovers during syphilis epidemics, like those of the 16th and 19th centuries). Keep in mind that back then, pretty much everything in the world gave you some version of the plague, let alone the festering bog of some peasant's vagina. Necrophilia - Fifth Century BC - This is having sex with dead bodies. Psychologists have theorized that there are a number of reasons why someone would be attracted to corpses, chief among them being the desire for a lifeless and unresistant partner (well, duh). But apparently the whole craze started the same way so many things start - with mummies. Herodotus (the Greek historian who lived in the fifth century BC) wrote in his Histories that, in order to stop people from having sex with corpses before mummification, the ancient Egyptians left them to decay for three or four days before handing them off to the embalmers. That's right: Necrophilia was such a problem for these guys that they had to take active preventative measures against it.Sadomasochism - 470 BC - Sadomasochism involves two consenting partners engaging in a style of sexual roleplay characterized by domination and submission. One partner, the dominant, inflicts pain, while the other partner, the submissive, receives it. S & M covers a wide range of activities, from simple verbal abuse and light spanking to full-blown flogging and humiliation. So if de Sade wasn't the father of sadomasochism, who was? Tarquinia's Tomb of the Floggings contains some of the earliest erotic artwork known to man, and they're almost 2,500 years old (dating around 470 BC). In addition to numerous depictions of orgies and guy-on-guy butt-tastic sex, we have a scene of what is clearly two dudes filling out one woman while whipping her back.So the next time you are thinking about your own fetishes, hopefully you will wonder about its origins.
Look for more Fetish related posts in the future because this is an endless subject!
Leave any comments or interesting facts below! We love hearing from you!
September 1, 2013
FB Censors Are At It Once Again!
Well fellow kinksters, it looks like Facebook is at it again with deleting Adult Content pages, many of which are BDSM related. As if the first round on FB and other social media sites were not enough!
Now, there are four BDSM pages I know of that were deleted and I know for a fact that their content and pictures never went against FB's newer and stricter policies. Many of us in and around the BDSM community that have pages on FB have made alternative sites on other, more open minded and friendlier sites, just in case they delete our pages again.
The black ribbon picture you see is for all of those pages that were deleted by FB for no reason other than the moralistic movement that is taking place. It's as if we are living in a police state or back in the middle ages when your entire belief system was dictated by a minor few.
Is there anything we can do against all the moralistic people that keep reporting our pages? If any of you have any ideas or solutions/strategies about how to realistically fight back in order to keep our communities alive and online, let us know by leaving a comment below. Currently, the only thing we can do is to reopen our pages and to try to build bigger and better pages.
I hope you keep showing your support and making sure you follow us not only here, but on all of our sites!
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/MichelleFegatofi
http://bdsmunveiled.tumblr.com/
http://pinterest.com/BdsmUnveiled/boards/
http://plus.google.com/u/0/b/112450374015048658322/
http://www.goodreads.com/MichelleFegatofi
http://fetlife.com/groups/69618
http://twitter.com/MFegatofi
http://www.bdsmfriendbook.com/bdsminternationalbbwunveiled/
http://about.me/michellefegatofi
Feel free to leave your comments below!
Now, there are four BDSM pages I know of that were deleted and I know for a fact that their content and pictures never went against FB's newer and stricter policies. Many of us in and around the BDSM community that have pages on FB have made alternative sites on other, more open minded and friendlier sites, just in case they delete our pages again.
The black ribbon picture you see is for all of those pages that were deleted by FB for no reason other than the moralistic movement that is taking place. It's as if we are living in a police state or back in the middle ages when your entire belief system was dictated by a minor few.
Is there anything we can do against all the moralistic people that keep reporting our pages? If any of you have any ideas or solutions/strategies about how to realistically fight back in order to keep our communities alive and online, let us know by leaving a comment below. Currently, the only thing we can do is to reopen our pages and to try to build bigger and better pages.
I hope you keep showing your support and making sure you follow us not only here, but on all of our sites!
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/MichelleFegatofi
http://bdsmunveiled.tumblr.com/
http://pinterest.com/BdsmUnveiled/boards/
http://plus.google.com/u/0/b/112450374015048658322/
http://www.goodreads.com/MichelleFegatofi
http://fetlife.com/groups/69618
http://twitter.com/MFegatofi
http://www.bdsmfriendbook.com/bdsminternationalbbwunveiled/
http://about.me/michellefegatofi
Feel free to leave your comments below!
August 29, 2013
BDSM & Aging - Can We Still Play?
Aging is a natural process that every human, no matter their lifestyle choice, goes through. With age comes life experience, but also health issues, hormone changes, and most likely a decreased sex drive. Can you still practice a BDSM lifestyle as you grow older? That answer is yes. You just have to be imaginative and flexible.
As we age, our bodies naturally begin go slow down and change. The affects of aging are different for everyone, of course. If you had sex three times a day at 40, you might only have it once a day at 50 and once a week at 60. It all depends on your own body, health, hormones, and sex drive.
According to a study by the University of Chicago, more than three-quarters of American men and half of women aged 75 to 85 are still interested in sex. But culturally, we don’t see this. Dr. Queen has two theories. “There had been an underlying bias in our culture that sex really is, at bottom, for reproduction. That’s one of the things that continues to power homophobia too. After one is out of one’s reproductive years, the notion of sex becomes unseemly and even unacceptable to many. The other thing, I think, is that there is societal pressure on us to fear aging, and seeing evidence of older people’s sexuality brings up our difficult feelings about getting older, our own body image fears, fears of mortality.”
Aging is different in BDSM Relationships because our sexual play often includes implements which can, if incorrectly or badly used, injure one or both parties. As we age along with our partners in a BDSM Relationship, each of us may have to deal with a disability, or, as I prefer to call them, different abilities.
According to sexologist, Dr. Carol Queen, there are precautions that come with age. “Some sorts of BDSM are the erotic version of high-impact sports, a person of any age must take their health and body resilience into account” she explains “Some things to pay attention to with an older partner, is whether the skin is thinning and how their joints are doing. They’ll want to make sure they can communicate about health issues to partners.”
Hearing Loss
For some people, a crowded and noisy club, where quite often loud music and other kinky players make for difficult conversation anyway, make it very difficult to hear. This is the perfect place to practice non-verbal communication. Talk with her before the scene begins, to set up hand signals or other methods of letting you know that she wants to end the session, or that she needs to run to the bathroom. This will help you ensure you and your partner are on the same level and that there are less chances of something going wrong.
Eyesight Loss
You probably would rather not have a Dominant flicking a single tail whip if he can't see well, but there are other play techniques that can be just as exciting, and much safer! A suggestion is to set up the scene very carefully and to do only BDSM play that is more body-to-body contact, such as over the knee (OTK) spanking with his hand or an implement such as a paddle with a short, manageable handle. This precludes the danger of a whip or other implement striking an area that could cause the bottom (receiver) injury or damage. Aging in a BDSM Relationship can help you be creative about working out the 'kinks' - be creative with your partner.
Muscle and Joint Pain and Flexibility
Strategically placed pillows are wonderful for achy knees. Changing position often helps keep muscles from freezing into painful, uncomfortable, rock-hard blobs. One of the most wonderful things about being with a partner for a long time, and knowing each other, is communication skills are often developed along the way. Tell your partner, "Uh, this is so not working for me!" and work together to find what does work. The truth is, many of us are happily aging in our BDSM relationships, with our aging partners, and as happily aging women or men, we have aches and pains, and, most of us can't bend in those low scraping bows, with even a modicum of grace anymore.
Bottom line, there are many ways you can still enjoy an active BDSM sexual lifestyle, you just need to make adjustments for your own health limits/situation.
As our collective lifespans continue to increase, that stretch between 65 and 80 is no longer the last phase of life. It’s a new section of life, one that we've never had before.
Comments or Questions? Let me hear your thoughts!
As we age, our bodies naturally begin go slow down and change. The affects of aging are different for everyone, of course. If you had sex three times a day at 40, you might only have it once a day at 50 and once a week at 60. It all depends on your own body, health, hormones, and sex drive.
According to a study by the University of Chicago, more than three-quarters of American men and half of women aged 75 to 85 are still interested in sex. But culturally, we don’t see this. Dr. Queen has two theories. “There had been an underlying bias in our culture that sex really is, at bottom, for reproduction. That’s one of the things that continues to power homophobia too. After one is out of one’s reproductive years, the notion of sex becomes unseemly and even unacceptable to many. The other thing, I think, is that there is societal pressure on us to fear aging, and seeing evidence of older people’s sexuality brings up our difficult feelings about getting older, our own body image fears, fears of mortality.”
Aging is different in BDSM Relationships because our sexual play often includes implements which can, if incorrectly or badly used, injure one or both parties. As we age along with our partners in a BDSM Relationship, each of us may have to deal with a disability, or, as I prefer to call them, different abilities.
According to sexologist, Dr. Carol Queen, there are precautions that come with age. “Some sorts of BDSM are the erotic version of high-impact sports, a person of any age must take their health and body resilience into account” she explains “Some things to pay attention to with an older partner, is whether the skin is thinning and how their joints are doing. They’ll want to make sure they can communicate about health issues to partners.”
Hearing Loss
For some people, a crowded and noisy club, where quite often loud music and other kinky players make for difficult conversation anyway, make it very difficult to hear. This is the perfect place to practice non-verbal communication. Talk with her before the scene begins, to set up hand signals or other methods of letting you know that she wants to end the session, or that she needs to run to the bathroom. This will help you ensure you and your partner are on the same level and that there are less chances of something going wrong.
Eyesight Loss
You probably would rather not have a Dominant flicking a single tail whip if he can't see well, but there are other play techniques that can be just as exciting, and much safer! A suggestion is to set up the scene very carefully and to do only BDSM play that is more body-to-body contact, such as over the knee (OTK) spanking with his hand or an implement such as a paddle with a short, manageable handle. This precludes the danger of a whip or other implement striking an area that could cause the bottom (receiver) injury or damage. Aging in a BDSM Relationship can help you be creative about working out the 'kinks' - be creative with your partner.
Muscle and Joint Pain and Flexibility
Strategically placed pillows are wonderful for achy knees. Changing position often helps keep muscles from freezing into painful, uncomfortable, rock-hard blobs. One of the most wonderful things about being with a partner for a long time, and knowing each other, is communication skills are often developed along the way. Tell your partner, "Uh, this is so not working for me!" and work together to find what does work. The truth is, many of us are happily aging in our BDSM relationships, with our aging partners, and as happily aging women or men, we have aches and pains, and, most of us can't bend in those low scraping bows, with even a modicum of grace anymore.
Bottom line, there are many ways you can still enjoy an active BDSM sexual lifestyle, you just need to make adjustments for your own health limits/situation.
As our collective lifespans continue to increase, that stretch between 65 and 80 is no longer the last phase of life. It’s a new section of life, one that we've never had before.
Comments or Questions? Let me hear your thoughts!
August 25, 2013
BDSM Unveiled Toolbar Now Available
Ever get confused about which social media sites we are on? Well now you can download our custom toolbar and follow us at the click of a button!
Click this picture in the right sidebar or click the link below and follow the simple instructions!
https://s3. amazonaws.com / com.alexa.toolbar / atbp /1Pc6fE/download/ index.htm
Get connected today!
August 18, 2013
A True BDSM Love Story - Part 4 and Final Installment
I would like to re-introduce you to a wonderful couple, Master Grimm and Slave Nalani. They are a 24/7 BDSM couple that live the lifestyle while being cross-country truck drivers. If you have not read the first, second, or third parts of their story, I encourage you to read them before continuing on with this one. This is the last installment of their beautiful story that will be posted here. Stay tuned for the e-book to find out the rest of the story! Enjoy this final post of their truly wonderful story.
One day, I had my worse day ever! Since I found this special Man online, my sleep schedule was all messed up because of the huge time difference. I tried to stay awake as long as possible, drinking coffee like crazy so I could stay in contact with my new Master as long as I could! Every day, I woke up at 6am and went to bed at 2 or 3am in the morning, only to wake up again at 6am, just to make sure I didn’t lose contact with Him. He told me from the beginning that he wanted to wish me sweet dreams and tell me he loved me before I went to sleep. If I didn't tell him that I was going to sleep, I would be punished by Him not talking to me a whole day!
One night I fell asleep like a rock! Passed out! I jerked awake shocked! There it was! The one message from Him I never wanted to get! "This will be your punishment", He wrote. I cried hard that whole day! I wrote Him begging Him for forgiveness. My eyes were swollen I didn't eat because I was so upset! How could I do this to him? I looked at the pictures of him that I had printed out and framed. I looked at FB and no response! I cried so much and was hurting so badly that I punished myself by pouring hot candle wax over my breasts, which caused blisters to form. My mind was empty. I thought that I had lost him, because this was my first punishment and I didn't know how to handle it.
The next day, my breasts were hurting because of the candle wax. It reminded me of what had happened. My mind was back on earth again, and after I had finished housework, I looked on FB and found two messages from Him in my inbox!
I was almost too nervous to open them, but I did. He wrote me that I was forgiven and explained to me how important it was for Him to wish me good night and tell me that he loves me. As a truck driver, it isn't easy out on the road and you never know what is going to happen! He felt sorry for me that I had burned myself with the candle wax and told me that if he could be with me, he would have taken care of it. I cried when I was reading his letter to me. I cried so hard I could barely read it through the tears. I cleaned up my face and calmed down before going back to my laptop and writing him back with " i am sorry Master, please forgive me Master. It won't happen again. It was my fault Master and i deserved Your punishment". Fighting back new tears, I wrote him that I love him and told him how much he means to me! He responded back shortly after I sent the message saying he loves me more and that I am special to him. Everything was back to normal again and we both felt better!
After a few days, we had another conversation about moving to be together. He had told his family about possibly moving to Europe to be with me and most of his family supported his decision. Some family didn’t agree and couldn't support that decision. His friends were excited. Only one of his friends told him that it was just some Internet thing and wasn't real. I was hurt by that because all we wanted was for our fairytale to come true! Master asked me how I felt about going to him in the United States of America. For a moment, I was quiet and he said "Hello? Are you there?" I answered with "Yes Master! I would love that!" I was one happy little slave with a big smile on my face!
So I told him that I would do everything to come to him and he was excited and happy! After all, what did I have to lose? Nothing at all! I didn't have any family. My mom died when I was 16years old. I didn't have contact with my father or bother, so what could hold me there? Nothing in my opinion! He told me to come out in the summer of 2011 and that we would do everything to make this bond we had created stronger and turn it into reality. I could serve him 24/7 as his slave. He would train me and teach me everything! Wow my life turned completely into a different life than how I lived before I found him! It was January 2011. We continued to chat, talk online, text back and forth, phone calls and more! The more we talked, the more excited we got about summertime! We fell more deeply in love with each passing day. There were many spicy phone calls in which he wanted me to call him so he could give me permission to play with myself and so he could tell me "Cum for me slave!" Yes, this Man knows exactly how to handle me as newbie slave.
One day while we talked on yahoo messenger voice, he told me he couldn't handle our distance anymore. That it had become too hard and painful for him. I told that I couldn't handle it much either but we had to try to stay strong. Then he said, "I want you here before my birthday on April 4th." Oh boy, it was only 2 months away I told him. He started laughing and said "You’re good in counting." I said "Yes Master, i will be there before Your Birthday." He was happy!
I had to make everything possible in only two months! So for two straight months, I worked that much harder to save the money together for the airplane ticket and to have extra money with me. In the meantime, I gave all my furniture away to the Goodwill. I was very stressed all the time during those two months, counting my money to make sure I had enough for an airplane ticket. I ate as cheap as I could. I gave up my apartment and everything in Europe. My life had come to an end there! Nobody helped me. I did it all by myself!
I made it! That last night, we had our last online chat. My suitcase was packed and I sat in an empty house counting the hours away till it was my time to close the door behind me and say goodbye to my life in Europe! That last night, Master and I talked and He was excited and a little nervous too. I had my shower, was dressed and ready to go waiting for the taxi to arrive. We ended the call and I told him I would call him as soon I was on the bus that goes to the airport in Brussels, Belgium. It was 5 am in the morning when I arrived at the airport and my flight didn't leave till 11 am. I think I was afraid to be late. I checked in, my suitcase was stowed away and I sat at Gate 43 waiting for my departure time! The flights I had to take were, Brussels to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Houston, TX and Houston, TX to Ontario, California. This was going to be a very long flight, a total of 23 hours.
slave nalani
One day, I had my worse day ever! Since I found this special Man online, my sleep schedule was all messed up because of the huge time difference. I tried to stay awake as long as possible, drinking coffee like crazy so I could stay in contact with my new Master as long as I could! Every day, I woke up at 6am and went to bed at 2 or 3am in the morning, only to wake up again at 6am, just to make sure I didn’t lose contact with Him. He told me from the beginning that he wanted to wish me sweet dreams and tell me he loved me before I went to sleep. If I didn't tell him that I was going to sleep, I would be punished by Him not talking to me a whole day!
One night I fell asleep like a rock! Passed out! I jerked awake shocked! There it was! The one message from Him I never wanted to get! "This will be your punishment", He wrote. I cried hard that whole day! I wrote Him begging Him for forgiveness. My eyes were swollen I didn't eat because I was so upset! How could I do this to him? I looked at the pictures of him that I had printed out and framed. I looked at FB and no response! I cried so much and was hurting so badly that I punished myself by pouring hot candle wax over my breasts, which caused blisters to form. My mind was empty. I thought that I had lost him, because this was my first punishment and I didn't know how to handle it.
The next day, my breasts were hurting because of the candle wax. It reminded me of what had happened. My mind was back on earth again, and after I had finished housework, I looked on FB and found two messages from Him in my inbox!
I was almost too nervous to open them, but I did. He wrote me that I was forgiven and explained to me how important it was for Him to wish me good night and tell me that he loves me. As a truck driver, it isn't easy out on the road and you never know what is going to happen! He felt sorry for me that I had burned myself with the candle wax and told me that if he could be with me, he would have taken care of it. I cried when I was reading his letter to me. I cried so hard I could barely read it through the tears. I cleaned up my face and calmed down before going back to my laptop and writing him back with " i am sorry Master, please forgive me Master. It won't happen again. It was my fault Master and i deserved Your punishment". Fighting back new tears, I wrote him that I love him and told him how much he means to me! He responded back shortly after I sent the message saying he loves me more and that I am special to him. Everything was back to normal again and we both felt better!
After a few days, we had another conversation about moving to be together. He had told his family about possibly moving to Europe to be with me and most of his family supported his decision. Some family didn’t agree and couldn't support that decision. His friends were excited. Only one of his friends told him that it was just some Internet thing and wasn't real. I was hurt by that because all we wanted was for our fairytale to come true! Master asked me how I felt about going to him in the United States of America. For a moment, I was quiet and he said "Hello? Are you there?" I answered with "Yes Master! I would love that!" I was one happy little slave with a big smile on my face!
So I told him that I would do everything to come to him and he was excited and happy! After all, what did I have to lose? Nothing at all! I didn't have any family. My mom died when I was 16years old. I didn't have contact with my father or bother, so what could hold me there? Nothing in my opinion! He told me to come out in the summer of 2011 and that we would do everything to make this bond we had created stronger and turn it into reality. I could serve him 24/7 as his slave. He would train me and teach me everything! Wow my life turned completely into a different life than how I lived before I found him! It was January 2011. We continued to chat, talk online, text back and forth, phone calls and more! The more we talked, the more excited we got about summertime! We fell more deeply in love with each passing day. There were many spicy phone calls in which he wanted me to call him so he could give me permission to play with myself and so he could tell me "Cum for me slave!" Yes, this Man knows exactly how to handle me as newbie slave.
One day while we talked on yahoo messenger voice, he told me he couldn't handle our distance anymore. That it had become too hard and painful for him. I told that I couldn't handle it much either but we had to try to stay strong. Then he said, "I want you here before my birthday on April 4th." Oh boy, it was only 2 months away I told him. He started laughing and said "You’re good in counting." I said "Yes Master, i will be there before Your Birthday." He was happy!
I had to make everything possible in only two months! So for two straight months, I worked that much harder to save the money together for the airplane ticket and to have extra money with me. In the meantime, I gave all my furniture away to the Goodwill. I was very stressed all the time during those two months, counting my money to make sure I had enough for an airplane ticket. I ate as cheap as I could. I gave up my apartment and everything in Europe. My life had come to an end there! Nobody helped me. I did it all by myself!
I made it! That last night, we had our last online chat. My suitcase was packed and I sat in an empty house counting the hours away till it was my time to close the door behind me and say goodbye to my life in Europe! That last night, Master and I talked and He was excited and a little nervous too. I had my shower, was dressed and ready to go waiting for the taxi to arrive. We ended the call and I told him I would call him as soon I was on the bus that goes to the airport in Brussels, Belgium. It was 5 am in the morning when I arrived at the airport and my flight didn't leave till 11 am. I think I was afraid to be late. I checked in, my suitcase was stowed away and I sat at Gate 43 waiting for my departure time! The flights I had to take were, Brussels to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Houston, TX and Houston, TX to Ontario, California. This was going to be a very long flight, a total of 23 hours.
slave nalani
A True Love Story - Part 4 and Final Installment
I would like to re-introduce you to a wonderful couple, Master Grimm and Slave Nalani. They are a 24/7 BDSM couple that live the lifestyle while being cross-country truck drivers. If you have not read the first, second, or third parts of their story, I encourage you to read them before continuing on with this one. This is the last installment of their beautiful story that will be posted here. Stay tuned for the e-book to find out the rest of the story! Enjoy this final post of their truly wonderful story.
One day, I had my worse day ever! Since I found this special Man online, my sleep schedule was all messed up because of the huge time difference. I tried to stay awake as long as possible, drinking coffee like crazy so I could stay in contact with my new Master as long as I could! Every day, I woke up at 6am and went to bed at 2 or 3am in the morning, only to wake up again at 6am, just to make sure I didn’t lose contact with Him. He told me from the beginning that he wanted to wish me sweet dreams and tell me he loved me before I went to sleep. If I didn't tell him that I was going to sleep, I would be punished by Him not talking to me a whole day!
One night I fell asleep like a rock! Passed out! I jerked awake shocked! There it was! The one message from Him I never wanted to get! "This will be your punishment", He wrote. I cried hard that whole day! I wrote Him begging Him for forgiveness. My eyes were swollen I didn't eat because I was so upset! How could I do this to him? I looked at the pictures of him that I had printed out and framed. I looked at FB and no response! I cried so much and was hurting so badly that I punished myself by pouring hot candle wax over my breasts, which caused blisters to form. My mind was empty. I thought that I had lost him, because this was my first punishment and I didn't know how to handle it.
The next day, my breasts were hurting because of the candle wax. It reminded me of what had happened. My mind was back on earth again, and after I had finished housework, I looked on FB and found two messages from Him in my inbox!
I was almost too nervous to open them, but I did. He wrote me that I was forgiven and explained to me how important it was for Him to wish me good night and tell me that he loves me. As a truck driver, it isn't easy out on the road and you never know what is going to happen! He felt sorry for me that I had burned myself with the candle wax and told me that if he could be with me, he would have taken care of it. I cried when I was reading his letter to me. I cried so hard I could barely read it through the tears. I cleaned up my face and calmed down before going back to my laptop and writing him back with " i am sorry Master, please forgive me Master. It won't happen again. It was my fault Master and i deserved Your punishment". Fighting back new tears, I wrote him that I love him and told him how much he means to me! He responded back shortly after I sent the message saying he loves me more and that I am special to him. Everything was back to normal again and we both felt better!
After a few days, we had another conversation about moving to be together. He had told his family about possibly moving to Europe to be with me and most of his family supported his decision. Some family didn’t agree and couldn't support that decision. His friends were excited. Only one of his friends told him that it was just some Internet thing and wasn't real. I was hurt by that because all we wanted was for our fairytale to come true! Master asked me how I felt about going to him in the United States of America. For a moment, I was quiet and he said "Hello? Are you there?" I answered with "Yes Master! I would love that!" I was one happy little slave with a big smile on my face!
So I told him that I would do everything to come to him and he was excited and happy! After all, what did I have to lose? Nothing at all! I didn't have any family. My mom died when I was 16years old. I didn't have contact with my father or bother, so what could hold me there? Nothing in my opinion! He told me to come out in the summer of 2011 and that we would do everything to make this bond we had created stronger and turn it into reality. I could serve him 24/7 as his slave. He would train me and teach me everything! Wow my life turned completely into a different life than how I lived before I found him! It was January 2011. We continued to chat, talk online, text back and forth, phone calls and more! The more we talked, the more excited we got about summertime! We fell more deeply in love with each passing day. There were many spicy phone calls in which he wanted me to call him so he could give me permission to play with myself and so he could tell me "Cum for me slave!" Yes, this Man knows exactly how to handle me as newbie slave.
One day while we talked on yahoo messenger voice, he told me he couldn't handle our distance anymore. That it had become too hard and painful for him. I told that I couldn't handle it much either but we had to try to stay strong. Then he said, "I want you here before my birthday on April 4th." Oh boy, it was only 2 months away I told him. He started laughing and said "You’re good in counting." I said "Yes Master, i will be there before Your Birthday." He was happy!
I had to make everything possible in only two months! So for two straight months, I worked that much harder to save the money together for the airplane ticket and to have extra money with me. In the meantime, I gave all my furniture away to the Goodwill. I was very stressed all the time during those two months, counting my money to make sure I had enough for an airplane ticket. I ate as cheap as I could. I gave up my apartment and everything in Europe. My life had come to an end there! Nobody helped me. I did it all by myself!
I made it! That last night, we had our last online chat. My suitcase was packed and I sat in an empty house counting the hours away till it was my time to close the door behind me and say goodbye to my life in Europe! That last night, Master and I talked and He was excited and a little nervous too. I had my shower, was dressed and ready to go waiting for the taxi to arrive. We ended the call and I told him I would call him as soon I was on the bus that goes to the airport in Brussels, Belgium. It was 5 am in the morning when I arrived at the airport and my flight didn't leave till 11 am. I think I was afraid to be late. I checked in, my suitcase was stowed away and I sat at Gate 43 waiting for my departure time! The flights I had to take were, Brussels to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Houston, TX and Houston, TX to Ontario, California. This was going to be a very long flight, a total of 23 hours.
slave nalani
One day, I had my worse day ever! Since I found this special Man online, my sleep schedule was all messed up because of the huge time difference. I tried to stay awake as long as possible, drinking coffee like crazy so I could stay in contact with my new Master as long as I could! Every day, I woke up at 6am and went to bed at 2 or 3am in the morning, only to wake up again at 6am, just to make sure I didn’t lose contact with Him. He told me from the beginning that he wanted to wish me sweet dreams and tell me he loved me before I went to sleep. If I didn't tell him that I was going to sleep, I would be punished by Him not talking to me a whole day!
One night I fell asleep like a rock! Passed out! I jerked awake shocked! There it was! The one message from Him I never wanted to get! "This will be your punishment", He wrote. I cried hard that whole day! I wrote Him begging Him for forgiveness. My eyes were swollen I didn't eat because I was so upset! How could I do this to him? I looked at the pictures of him that I had printed out and framed. I looked at FB and no response! I cried so much and was hurting so badly that I punished myself by pouring hot candle wax over my breasts, which caused blisters to form. My mind was empty. I thought that I had lost him, because this was my first punishment and I didn't know how to handle it.
The next day, my breasts were hurting because of the candle wax. It reminded me of what had happened. My mind was back on earth again, and after I had finished housework, I looked on FB and found two messages from Him in my inbox!
I was almost too nervous to open them, but I did. He wrote me that I was forgiven and explained to me how important it was for Him to wish me good night and tell me that he loves me. As a truck driver, it isn't easy out on the road and you never know what is going to happen! He felt sorry for me that I had burned myself with the candle wax and told me that if he could be with me, he would have taken care of it. I cried when I was reading his letter to me. I cried so hard I could barely read it through the tears. I cleaned up my face and calmed down before going back to my laptop and writing him back with " i am sorry Master, please forgive me Master. It won't happen again. It was my fault Master and i deserved Your punishment". Fighting back new tears, I wrote him that I love him and told him how much he means to me! He responded back shortly after I sent the message saying he loves me more and that I am special to him. Everything was back to normal again and we both felt better!
After a few days, we had another conversation about moving to be together. He had told his family about possibly moving to Europe to be with me and most of his family supported his decision. Some family didn’t agree and couldn't support that decision. His friends were excited. Only one of his friends told him that it was just some Internet thing and wasn't real. I was hurt by that because all we wanted was for our fairytale to come true! Master asked me how I felt about going to him in the United States of America. For a moment, I was quiet and he said "Hello? Are you there?" I answered with "Yes Master! I would love that!" I was one happy little slave with a big smile on my face!
So I told him that I would do everything to come to him and he was excited and happy! After all, what did I have to lose? Nothing at all! I didn't have any family. My mom died when I was 16years old. I didn't have contact with my father or bother, so what could hold me there? Nothing in my opinion! He told me to come out in the summer of 2011 and that we would do everything to make this bond we had created stronger and turn it into reality. I could serve him 24/7 as his slave. He would train me and teach me everything! Wow my life turned completely into a different life than how I lived before I found him! It was January 2011. We continued to chat, talk online, text back and forth, phone calls and more! The more we talked, the more excited we got about summertime! We fell more deeply in love with each passing day. There were many spicy phone calls in which he wanted me to call him so he could give me permission to play with myself and so he could tell me "Cum for me slave!" Yes, this Man knows exactly how to handle me as newbie slave.
One day while we talked on yahoo messenger voice, he told me he couldn't handle our distance anymore. That it had become too hard and painful for him. I told that I couldn't handle it much either but we had to try to stay strong. Then he said, "I want you here before my birthday on April 4th." Oh boy, it was only 2 months away I told him. He started laughing and said "You’re good in counting." I said "Yes Master, i will be there before Your Birthday." He was happy!
I had to make everything possible in only two months! So for two straight months, I worked that much harder to save the money together for the airplane ticket and to have extra money with me. In the meantime, I gave all my furniture away to the Goodwill. I was very stressed all the time during those two months, counting my money to make sure I had enough for an airplane ticket. I ate as cheap as I could. I gave up my apartment and everything in Europe. My life had come to an end there! Nobody helped me. I did it all by myself!
I made it! That last night, we had our last online chat. My suitcase was packed and I sat in an empty house counting the hours away till it was my time to close the door behind me and say goodbye to my life in Europe! That last night, Master and I talked and He was excited and a little nervous too. I had my shower, was dressed and ready to go waiting for the taxi to arrive. We ended the call and I told him I would call him as soon I was on the bus that goes to the airport in Brussels, Belgium. It was 5 am in the morning when I arrived at the airport and my flight didn't leave till 11 am. I think I was afraid to be late. I checked in, my suitcase was stowed away and I sat at Gate 43 waiting for my departure time! The flights I had to take were, Brussels to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Houston, TX and Houston, TX to Ontario, California. This was going to be a very long flight, a total of 23 hours.
slave nalani
August 14, 2013
Spicing Up Sex While Taking Out the Toys
After a while, even with the kink that goes on in a BDSM relationship, things can become routine. A spanking is just another spanking, or serving becomes so routine you can do it with out thought. In time, all relationships can get into a rut. Here are some things you might try to spice up your relationship with your Dom or sub partner.
All the Kink, but None of the ThrillIf you are a couple that incorporates some or many BDSM toys in your daily or weekly sex life and you or your partner are not getting the same thrill or zing from it, it may be time to go back to basics.
Recently, I received an email from a fan that was having trouble achieving an orgasm. She stated that her Dom uses the same toys every session, even if in different orders, and that he uses many different ones. I recommended them going back to basics.
See, the human body has many pleasure and pain points. There are many toys on the market (bondage, vibrators, clamps, blindfolds, dildos, floggers, paddles, etc...) that do very good jobs at enhancing sexual arousal and pleasure. But, if you use all of the toys mentioned above for every scene or session, after time, depending on the person, it can become routine and your body gets used to them.
I suggested she set down with her Dominant and discuss this problem. She did and they got rid of all but one toy and decided to change up the toys from scene to scene and to sometimes leave them out all together, using only hands and the ability to obey, as their "tools". I received an email about 3 weeks later and she said that it worked! She had orgasmed every time.
Back to Basics Suggestions:
If you are used to letting toys do the work of arousing and teasing your sub, then you should learn or re-learn to use your mind, body and voice as your only tools.
Voice - Use your most dominant sounding voice to command your sub to stay in certain positions (on all fours, flat on back knees raised, arms to the side, standing at attention legs wide apart, etc...). The sound and power that comes from a natural dominant's commands will sink into a sub's mind and stimulate not only her need and wish to submit to whatever you say, but will also activate her sexual desires as well. Remember, the mind is the most sensual sexual organ we possess.
Body - Use your hands to tease the sub's body. Play with her breasts and nipples, touching light to hard. Experiment with lightly touching her with just your fingertips all over her body while she is laying still and commanded not to move. Use your lips to nibble and reign kisses all over her neck, arms, legs, and torso (front and back) while skipping over her clit and nipples. This builds anticipation and will be unexpected. Have her lay on her stomach with legs spread and lay down on top of her, teasing her vagina with your penis without actually inserting it. Play with her. Enjoy the feeling of your skin on hers. Of the differences between the two of you and how wonderful you both feel touching each other.
Mind - This is your biggest asset, because this is where all the feelings and stimulus that you are doing to her body end up going. Use your imagination. Allow yourself to act out your fantasies with her. Get into her mind, make it sensual and sexy. Make her feel deeply how much you want her by showing her physically and telling her verbally.
Sometimes we forget how to actually connect with our partners without using toys, bondage, or other stimuli. Even if you aren't having issues because of incorporating too many things, take a step back every now and then and embrace a simpler but very sexy and sensual form of sex.
All the Kink, but None of the ThrillIf you are a couple that incorporates some or many BDSM toys in your daily or weekly sex life and you or your partner are not getting the same thrill or zing from it, it may be time to go back to basics.
Recently, I received an email from a fan that was having trouble achieving an orgasm. She stated that her Dom uses the same toys every session, even if in different orders, and that he uses many different ones. I recommended them going back to basics.
See, the human body has many pleasure and pain points. There are many toys on the market (bondage, vibrators, clamps, blindfolds, dildos, floggers, paddles, etc...) that do very good jobs at enhancing sexual arousal and pleasure. But, if you use all of the toys mentioned above for every scene or session, after time, depending on the person, it can become routine and your body gets used to them.
I suggested she set down with her Dominant and discuss this problem. She did and they got rid of all but one toy and decided to change up the toys from scene to scene and to sometimes leave them out all together, using only hands and the ability to obey, as their "tools". I received an email about 3 weeks later and she said that it worked! She had orgasmed every time.
Back to Basics Suggestions:
If you are used to letting toys do the work of arousing and teasing your sub, then you should learn or re-learn to use your mind, body and voice as your only tools.
Voice - Use your most dominant sounding voice to command your sub to stay in certain positions (on all fours, flat on back knees raised, arms to the side, standing at attention legs wide apart, etc...). The sound and power that comes from a natural dominant's commands will sink into a sub's mind and stimulate not only her need and wish to submit to whatever you say, but will also activate her sexual desires as well. Remember, the mind is the most sensual sexual organ we possess.
Body - Use your hands to tease the sub's body. Play with her breasts and nipples, touching light to hard. Experiment with lightly touching her with just your fingertips all over her body while she is laying still and commanded not to move. Use your lips to nibble and reign kisses all over her neck, arms, legs, and torso (front and back) while skipping over her clit and nipples. This builds anticipation and will be unexpected. Have her lay on her stomach with legs spread and lay down on top of her, teasing her vagina with your penis without actually inserting it. Play with her. Enjoy the feeling of your skin on hers. Of the differences between the two of you and how wonderful you both feel touching each other.
Mind - This is your biggest asset, because this is where all the feelings and stimulus that you are doing to her body end up going. Use your imagination. Allow yourself to act out your fantasies with her. Get into her mind, make it sensual and sexy. Make her feel deeply how much you want her by showing her physically and telling her verbally.
Sometimes we forget how to actually connect with our partners without using toys, bondage, or other stimuli. Even if you aren't having issues because of incorporating too many things, take a step back every now and then and embrace a simpler but very sexy and sensual form of sex.
August 9, 2013
Love Can Do Wonders!
Many of you have heard me speak of how much better I have been with my epilepsy, mental and physical health, and overall well being since I have been with my Padrone.
Padrone Marco Fegatofi
Sunday we are celebrating our 2nd anniversary and thought it would be a great idea to look back. I don't even look like the same person I was over 2.5 years ago!
Love and complete submission can do wonders.
Padrone Marco FegatofiSunday we are celebrating our 2nd anniversary and thought it would be a great idea to look back. I don't even look like the same person I was over 2.5 years ago!
Love and complete submission can do wonders.
