Paul Angone's Blog, page 11

The Complete Audacity of Being Thankful (a powerful true story)

Two sisters entered their new home knowing all too well that they’d most likely be killed there. A horrific thought, but an honest one.

They entered into a massive room filled with rows and rows of wooden bunks stacked nearly to the ceiling with little room to walk in between. The windows throughout had large gaping holes where glass should’ve been– an unnerving sight considering it was the dead of winter.

As the two sisters climbed and crawled to their top bunk beds so high in the room it was like the ceiling was giving them a hug, they lay in their straw covered beds that reeked of urine and mold.

Corrie stared silently at the ceiling and wondered how she could survive a day in this Nazi concentration camp. Corrie and her sister Betsie were Dutch Christians, arrested for suspicion of harboring Jewish “fugitives”. An allegation that was definitely true, even if they never found any of the six people they hid in a secret, strategically constructed upstairs closet.

As Corrie pondered her fate, she felt something bite her. She popped out of bed, hitting her head on the wooden slates above. Corrie and her sister Betsie clamored down off their beds to escape. Their bodies covered with fleas.

“How can we live in such a place?” Corrie cried to her sister.

Photo Credit: Mimolalen via Compfight cc

Everything taken from them, now living in one of the most horrific, evil places in history — their chance of survival was as likely as getting the guards to transport them to a penthouse suite. How were they going to make it?

Betsie had the answer, something she remembered from a Bible verse they had read that morning. She knew the only way they could make it. Her audacious survival strategy?

To give thanks. For everything about their new lives.

What in the world was there to be thankful for? Corrie asked quite understandably.

“That we were able to stay together here in this concentration camp.” Betsie replied.

“Oh yes, thank you Jesus,” Corrie responded.

“That we were able to smuggle the Bible that’s in your hands. And since we’re packed so tight in this room so many women will be able to hear us read it.”

Betsie looked at Corrie to join in giving thanks.

“Alright, thank you for the jammed, crammed, stuffed, packed, suffocating, crowds.” Corrie said.

“And thank you God for the fleas…” Betsie responded.

The fleas! This was too much. “Betsie, there’s no way even God can make me thankful for the fleas.”

“Give thanks in all circumstances,” Betsie quoted. “It doesn’t say just in pleasant circumstances. Fleas are a part of the place God has put us in.”

Corrie was sure this time Betsie had officially lost her mind.

Months in Hell and The Unexpected Amazing

For weeks and months they worked and survived in a place that was just a quick escalator ride up from Hell itself.

Yet, an amazing thing began to happen.

Quite timidly, at nights while soup was being served, Corrie and Betsie started reading from their Bible aloud in the back of the massive dormitory room as women clamored around to listen.

They would read the Dutch text and then translate it to German, then listen as women repeated the words back through the crowd in French, Russian, Polish, and Czech. It was ripples of hope and light being spoken in a place all too absent of both.

With guards everywhere, Corrie and Betsie feared of being discovered and the horrific fate that would await them if they did. Yet, night after night they continued. The gatherings became so big that Corrie and Betsie held two church services a night in the dormitory. Women being filled with courage and strength to face what awaited them at 3:30am when they would be cattle-prodded out of bed for work duty.

How many lives were Corrie and Betsie saving?

Every night they feared a guard would discover them, yet it was like God put a protective force field around them like a talented Jedi knight.

Then one day while trying to settle a dispute in their dormitory room, Betise figured out what God’s protective force field was all along. She figured out what allowed them to carry out their illegal act of giving hope every night to women who were in desperate need of it.

The protective force field?

The infestation of fleas.

No guard wanted to take a step in their room lest they get fleas themselves. As Betsie shared her news with Corrie, she couldn’t help but shine an “I told you so” smile. There was a reason to be thankful for the fleas.

Insanely, audaciously, thankful.

Being thankful for the blessings of life is easy. Being thankful for the crap, the setbacks, the “why is this happening to me” is another.

Yet, it’s being thankful for the stuff we can’t see a good reason to be thankful for which might be the most transformative.

Because we don’t see the full picture. We can’t read our entire story from where we currently sit. We don’t know how the obstacles and turns and failures and confusion and setbacks and struggle are weaving together to create our future.

In my life, I often look back at past events that I was sure were massive mistakes and failures, and how they led to something more substantial.

Sometimes the events in our life that are not necessarily easy, are the most necessary.

That’s why I’ve written articles like 9 Signs You’re 20s Aren’t Going as Planned (and why that’s a good thing) or The Benefits of Having a Quarter Life Crisis. Because I learned, mainly while complaining and grumbling, that my plans weren’t that amazing to begin with. Only by my “amazing” plans going up in flames could a better, more substantial plan be written.

I’m still trying to learn that sometimes it’s those annoying fleas of life that end up saving my own.

Betsie Ten Boom wouldn’t survive the holocaust camp during WWII, but her hope and vision would inspire her sister Corrie ten Boom to keep fighting and find a way out, sharing their story in one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read The Hiding Place.

Also in an unbelievable collection of events, Corrie continued Betsie’s vision for creating a massive post-war mansion that would be a place of healing for those brutalized by the war — both for the victims and for those who had inflicted the pain.

Most times we can’t see the full picture. Can we give thanks for the parts that have yet to be revealed? How would that change our perspective and our lives if we did?

What would happen if we found purpose and redemption, not in spite of the pain, but smack dab in the fleshy wound of it?

“Every experience God gives us…is the perfect preparation for the future only He can see.” – Corrie ten Boom

Happy Thanksgiving!

What can you give thanks for right now even if there doesn’t seem to be anything right now to be grateful for about it? I’d love to hear about it in the comments on this article. 

Why you can’t give up now

You can’t give up. On your dream, on your passion, on this vision for your life that extends farther and further than your current reality.

You can’t pull an Elsa and just let it go — shooting shards of ice at anyone who brings up those dreams you used to talk about.

No matter how distant your dreams feel right now. No matter how hard the path. No matter how unrealistic it feels right now.

You can’t give up.

Here’s why:

Who will you not be able to help if you give up now?

There’s people out there. You might not even know they exist. And they need you. They need your voice, your creativity, your talent, your insight, your encouragement, your hand up from out of the mud.

And if you quit now, you won’t be there when they need you the most.

Your moment is waiting for you. If you stop looking, how will you ever find it?

I know, because a few years ago I was a week away from quitting. After years of failing to get a book published, of spending hours and hours growing a small blog, of wondering if my email was broken because I couldn’t get anyone to reply back to me.

I felt like a failure.

I had enough.

It was too much work, too painful, and all the writing on the wall was smacking me in the face and screaming at me to stop this silly dream.

And yet, something told me to hold on.

All the facts were telling me that quitting was the smart, reasonable choice. Yet, deep in my spirit I knew that the ripples of quitting now was going to extend further than I could see. I was writing to give truth, hope, and hilarity to others and if I stopped putting words down, no matter if people were reading it or not, then all my ripples would be non-existent.

Quitting creates the De-Ripple effect.

Sometimes the most valiant act you can make in achieving your goals is to cling to them as if it’s a death or life experience. Because that’s exactly what it is. Like a mountain climber with one hand on the ledge, I knew if I let go now, I was going to kill everything that was important to me.

Now years later, the emails and stories I receive from people all over the world who have been touched by something I’ve written completely astounds and amazes me every time. It’s all much bigger than me. Much larger than even the dreams I used to have that once felt so big and unrealistic.

You see, you can’t quit. You just can’t. If you’ve been wavering back and forth – consider this your sign to keep going.

The world needs your passion, dreams, vision, and values. The world needs you to be fully you.

Someone out there right now needs your dream and neither of you know it.

Keep chipping away. It might be 11:59pm for you right now.  You never know what stroke is going to lead to your break out and your breakthrough.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments on this article:

What are you not going to give up on?

 

20 Ways to NOT Become a Real-Live-Half-Dead Adult

I remember staring at my gray cubicle walls. At all the emails about nothing. At the dis-impassioned lives of many around me and just wanting to scream! I’d sit there and daydream about sending a company-wide email that read one thing. And one thing only.

Subject: THERE’S GOT TO BE MORE THAN THIS?! (I QUIT!)

There’s too many real.live.half-dead adults for you to join the ranks. Wouldn’t you agree?

Unless you like coming home from work feeling drained and depressed from eight hours of, honestly, doing nothing. Of just trying to make it through the day, slowly joining all those who gave up on their hopes and dreams years ago.

If you don’t want to become a real.live.half.dead adult, here’s what I suggest:

1. Stop waiting for the “right” time to pursue your dreams and goals

Waiting for the right time to pursue your dreams is like waiting for enough sleep to be a good parent.

2. Take an honest time-audit of your day

Still think that you really just don’t have the time to pursue your dreams. Look at a typical day. Break it down by every hour. Where can you make changes? Can you at least find 30 minutes – 1 hour to start working at one small goal pertaining to your dream? That might mean getting up earlier or staying up late.

And believe me, I get that life is crazy busy and the more responsibility you add (AKA kids, who “selfishly” need you to survive) this gets pretty hard. I worked on growing my website here at All Groan Up and writing a book while working a full time job in marketing, completing a Masters program, having our first baby, and then throwing another bouncy beautiful bundle of unbridled energy about 18 months after our first.

If pursuing your dreams were simple, there would be a lot less cubicles on this earth.

3. Resist the lure of office birthday cake and drowning out your day with a gigantic lunch

Don’t sit at your computer perched like a Roman gargoyle. Don’t let office birthday cake be forced on you like a cigarette behind your middle school. Bust out before your butt does.

If you replaced office birthday cake with half an avocado, I swear that alone could make a huge difference.

4. Don’t let all the “benefits” call the shots

As I wrote in 101 Secrets For Your Twenties, “The most dangerous job you can have in your twenties is a comfortable one.”

Don’t let comfortable become your quicksand. Don’t let the benefits become your purpose. Don’t let the frills and features blind you of the cost.

It’s kind of like having friends with benefits. Where the only real benefit becomes the benefit of losing your friend. Anytime you’re letting the benefits become the only thing that’s keeping you there, you’re in trouble.

5. Don’t let fear and insecurities call the shots

I write about this in my new book All Groan Up: Searching for Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job! and how I realized how “chicken-excrement” afraid I was to really live my life when I watched this scene from Joe Vs the Volcano. You can’t say it better than Tom Hanks did here.

6. Tie your passion into meeting a need or fixing a problem

I think there are two main types of “passion” that people describe. There’s a passion based around a hobby.

I’m passionate about playing baseball, watching movies, joining an adult rhythmic gymnastics team, taking pictures of my meals…those kind of things.

Then there’s passion that’s based on meeting a real need or a problem that is beyond yourself:

I’m passionate about helping others overcome addiction. I’m passionate about fixing the political system. I’m passionate about giving people access to organic food, etc…

There’s so much power when your passion is tied to something bigger than yourself and meeting a real need. I know that’s the main thing that kept me going when every publisher was turning me down because I knew there was something real and bigger than me that I was writing to.

7. Dream big and be faithful in the small.

Have big dreams. And then expect for them to happen in a different way than you expect (with a few extra years and failures along the way).

8. Don’t let the fear of failing keep you from trying

9. Give yourself some space to think

Turn off the music in your car. Sit on the toilet without a phone in hand. Get up early and pray. You have some amazing thoughts in there that are just waiting for a chance to be heard. I promise.

Then when you have an amazing “a-ha” moment, write it down.

10. Find a mentor and/or a coach

Seek out those who are further down the path you want to be on and ask them how they became successful. People love sharing their secrets to success. Ask them about it. Then see if they’d be up for going to coffee once a month to tell you more.

11. Stop blaming others

There’s always going to be people who do you wrong, hurt you, and try to squelch that fire within you. Accept it, go to counseling if need be to move forward from it, and then do your best to stop thinking about it. Your mind can only think about one thing at a time. If it’s filled with thoughts of bitterness, regret, revenge, and anger, then what is your life going to consist of?

12. Receive feedback

You’re amazing. We both know it. But we also both know there are a few things you could improve on.

If the moment you smell feedback you charge at it like a rhino protecting his turf, then people are going to start avoiding you.

13. Limit the feedback you receive from real.live.half.dead adults

Those who gave up on their dreams and hopes years ago love trying to help you give up on yours.

14. Limit feedback you receive from insecure people

Taking life advice from an insecure person is like taking driving lessons from a seven year old.

15. Grit + Perseverance + Hard Work + Humility + Creativity = Some Pretty Amazing Stuff

I think our generation loves the creativity piece of this equation. But sometimes I think we miss the first four parts and they might be the most important.

16. Never enter into that cold confused complacency of thinking you’ve got it all figured out.

Keep reading. Keep learning. Here’s a list the top 21 non-fiction books everything twentysomething should read if you’re looking for a place to start. Keep going on adventures and trying new things. Meet new people and ask good questions. Come at life from a stance of “what new things can I learn today?”

17. Defeat the Liar

Every one feels lacking when they pursue something bigger than themselves. It’s big. You’re not going to know how to accomplish it all while standing at the starting line. That’s okay.

I write about this more in 101 Secrets For Your Twenties, but you can’t let that Liar in your mind tell you that you don’t have what it takes and you should just quit. Speak to that lie with truth.

18. Mine Your Story for Clarity and Direction

Just like you wouldn’t pick up a book in the middle and try to understand the story, you need to mine your own story for those Pivotal Plot Points in your life that tell you a lot about what you need to include in your future story.

19. Employ a Dream Team

Find 2-4 people who also don’t want to become real.live.half.dead adults. Start meeting together. Form a dream team. Share your goals, vision, fears, and insecurities. Support each other.

Your dreams will only go as far as those crucial relationships you have around you.

20. Leverage the Best of Who and What You Are (Skills + Strengths + Values + Dreams + Relationships)

What if you knew what you wanted in life? I mean, really knew. To the point where it didn’t matter what the critics or cynics were shouting in your ear?

And the biggest critic that’s been stopping you for years slowly became your biggest advocate? That critic, of course, being yourself.

Start truly defining the best of who and what you are. Then move forward in that.

PS – I closed the doors yesterday to the outside world on my new Finding Your Signature Sauce online course and private community. However, I’m keeping a few spots open for one more day, Tuesday, Oct. 20th, to the amazing community here at All Groan Up. I’m not sure when I’ll be opening the Signature Sauce course again, but I know it won’t be until 2016. If you want to join Signature Sauce, go here.

 

 

Last Night I Tried Talking a Man Down From Jumping to His Death

“All I know is that you’re going to jail!” My wife and I hear outside our condo window late last night. Not the typical thing you hear yelled in our sleepy condo complex made up of young families and retirees.

We step outside on our back balcony. Diagonally above us and to our left, our neighbor is standing on his balcony railing that is as narrow as a balance beam. He’s trying unsuccessfully to pull himself onto the roof.

If he falls, he’s at a distance that will either kill him or break every bone in his body.

Two police officers below. A police officer at the opening of the door to the balcony he’s now trapped on. I can’t see that police officer, but I can hear him. From what our neighbor standing on the railing is yelling, the police officer has his gun drawn. And our neighbor is threatening to jump if the officer takes one step onto his balcony.

Thus begins one of the most intense nights of our lives.

The Next Hour…

From the shouts going back and forth, the police are there because there’s been a 911 call for domestic violence.

Our neighbor says he’s done nothing wrong.

The shouts and screams escalate as our neighbor yells that he’s not carrying a weapon so the police officer should lower his gun. Then our neighbor, quite amazingly, while balancing on the railing, takes off all his clothes down to his underwear to show he’s not carrying a weapon. He throws everything down to the street below.

He’s almost naked. Is it so he can leave this world the same way he came in? It’s what I start fearing.

I don’t think he’s going to jump. But as the madness and desperation come in bigger, successive waves, there’s moments my heart leaps into my throat as his feet hang off the edge. There’s moments he stares down and gets very quiet. Those are the moments that feel like eternity.

There I am. About 20 feet away. I can see my neighbor and he can see me. We’ve said hi a few times in the past as he walks his dog, but I don’t know his name. The cops have blocked off the whole area. Other than the police, I’m the only other person he can talk to.

We Talk…

The back and forth negotiations are not going well. I wonder if I should just tuck away inside. I’m guessing the official stance is that I shouldn’t be interfering in police business. I wonder if I’m going to make things worse. But the police standing below don’t motion me in. So I stay. I don’t know how I can not be there. How can I go inside and do anything else? I feel like I need to be there. To at least be someone he can talk to that is not the police.

I pray my two girls don’t wake up to witness this. I pray for my neighbor standing on that railing. I pray for something to say.

I’ve been trying to formulate some answer, some magical phrase in my head for the last hour in case he brings me into the conversation. But nothing is coming to mind.

Then he yells down to me. It’s my time. And all I can think to say is that I care about him. As his neighbor, I’m here for him. I don’t wait to see him get hurt. And I care about him.

He calms down and gets quiet. I don’t think I’ve magically saved the day. I don’t know if I’ve changed anything. But maybe just someone else being there not in uniform means something to him.

Hour Two…

The back and forth shouts and screams continue. He tells the police to call a phone number and ask the person on the other line to pray for him. I shout up to him that I’m praying for him. “I’m praying for you,” I say again.

He looks at me and stays quiet.

Then an officer with a K-9 dog pulls up on the street below and starts yelling at our neighbor to get off the railing. And if he jumps, the K-9 dog is going to bite him. The ridiculous threat. The dog barking. The noise. Everything gets escalated in a flash. It’s not helping the situation at all. Our neighbor becomes more enraged, more furious, more hysterical. I wonder what the heck that officer is doing. I’m angry at him too.

After 15 minutes the officer with the K-9 leaves and they clear the street of other officers. Things calm down a little. I say a prayer of thanks.

The Range of Emotions…

Experiencing the range of emotions he’s showing is intense.

From rage — pounding a wall as he cusses out anyone in sight or in memory.

To madness — taking down huge wind chimes and furiously shaking them so loudly that they ring across the condo complex like church is now in session. Grabbing his head and screaming for the officer to just shut up!

To fear and desperation — as he frantically searches for any escape. For any way out of this.

To deep sorrow, regret, and the full realization — He crouches on the railing, sobbing and saying over and over again, “I’m f*cked.”

My neck, shoulders, and legs throb as they’ve been in a permanent state of tension for hours. I can only imagine how his legs must be feeling. And even if he doesn’t jump, at some point is he going to lose his balance and fall.

Then it Happens…

The neighbor asks the officers to call his brother so that he can say his last goodbye. The police officers get his brother’s voicemail and put it on speaker phone. He hears the line go to voicemail. Then he simply steps down. Not to the cement below, but to the police officers.

Unceremoniously and in an instant.

The four-hour stand-off is over. He’s cuffed. We see the woman who called the police covered in ice bags. The night is finished.

What I Learned and am Still Processing…

Consequences for our actions are all too real. Sometimes there’s absolutely no way to escape them.


When you’re with someone in an intense situation and you don’t know what to say, I think just your presence within the hurricane can be a little safe space from the howling winds.


Threats don’t work. The police officers on the job did outstanding. Especially the one talking to the man for hours. The officer never raised his voice or threatened him. The officer kept giving the man options to get off the ledge. But when the officer down below turned to force and threats, it only made things worse.


When it feels like there’s no way out and you have no other options, there’s always another option. There’s tomorrow morning. You can choose it. It might not feel like the easy choice, but you can choose tomorrow morning. You’re never too far gone.


Taking immediate ownership for our own problems is wiser than blaming others for them.


God’s love doesn’t diminish. What our neighbor appeared to have done was horrific. But I had this strong feeling as I watched our neighbor that God’s love for him and God’s love for me was the exact same.

What’s your story?

There you are.

Sitting in an interview. Or across from a date. At a party, holding tight to the food table and your drink.

Then it happens.

As you’re nervously trying to snag that dream job, a second date, or you’re just mid-bite of a chip with some guacamole hanging off the side of your mouth — someone looks you in the eyes and asks, “So tell me, what’s your story?”

Your story? Where do you even start?

What are the events that have brought you here? Or more importantly, what has informed what you believe, what you’re passionate about, what makes you feel anxious and what makes you come alive — basically the “why” behind everything you do?

We all have a story. Yet, truly understanding what I call the “Pivotal Plot Points” of your story, might be the difference between you living on purpose with purpose. Or fumbling from one step to another as you feel like something BIG is missing from your life, but you just can’t figure out what it is.

If right now you don’t feel like you have a lot of clarity about where you want to go in life, what you want to do, or really who you are, there’s so much you can learn by looking at your story through an intentional lens.

Photo Credit: _namtaf_ via Compfight cc

Finding your unique Signature Sauce begins and ends with your story – past, present, and future. Your story is the base of your sauce that everything else is mixed into.

If you don’t understand your story – where it comes from and where it’s going – how are you going to effectively write the next pages?

How to Understand the Pivotal Plot Points of Your Story

Understanding your Story is the first ingredient I teach on and help people uncover in Module #1 of my new Finding Your Signature Sauce online course and community, which is open for enrollment this week only.

You can access ALL of this first module in the Signature Sauce course right now for FREE. I invite you to watch my video teaching on Story and even download the workbook questions from the course to help you start articulating the Pivotal Plot Points in your story.

Finding Your Signature Sauce is a 5 week intensive online course and private community, consisting of 10 modules covering the 10 key ingredients to guide you in finding where your passion, purpose, and career collide. Signature Sauce has been cooking in my mind for years and is the culmination of all the books I’ve written, workshops I’ve delivered, people I’ve coached, research I’ve done, and influencers I’ve interviewed.

So if it feels like I’ve mentioned Signature Sauce often these past few weeks, it’s because I have! I’m super excited about it! And I really believe in what it can offer you.

I want to help as many people as I can go through this Signature Sauce program, so I’m also offering a $48 discount on the course — no matter what level you sign up for. But today is the last day for the discount, so you’d need to sign up before 11:59 Pacific Standard Time today, 10/15.

Sign up here for Signature Sauce and receive up to 33% off the course — today only.

How Can I Help You?

I truly consider it one of the greatest honors of my life to be able to interact with, encourage, and inspire the community here at All Groan Up. I believe you were meant to live a life dripping with significance and meaning, and not just die the slow death of purposeless life.

I created the Signature Sauce course to help others in a more meaningful and impactful way than what I can offer through a blog or even a book. I’d love to connect with you on a deeper level and tangibly help you in a way I’ve never been able to before. To enter into your story with my own, and vice versa. Together we can create a strategy and attainable action plan for leveraging your Signature Sauce into a life dripping with intentionality, passion, and purpose!

Whether you’re interested in the full Signature Sauce course or not, this first module of the program about finding your story is definitely a HUGE resource in helping you gain clarity and better identify the path you need to move forward on. Please check it out. Because you have an amazing story that is waiting to be uncovered.

Paul

PS – Remember, the early bird discount for the Signature Sauce course ends today, 10/15. Snag your spot today.

5 Lies that are Holding You Back

I know what it’s like to be stuck. In your career. In your relationships. When you have big hopes and dreams, yet you feel like you’re not living the life you were meant to live.

That was me. For far too long.

It took me many years and overwhelming amounts of frustration to realize that the things holding me back the most were the lies I believed. Lies that were so damaging, yet subtle, that I didn’t even realize they were entrapping me with their tentacles!

How many years did I miss living my life on purpose with purpose because I believed a lie that I couldn’t? 

And over the last four years as I’ve written here on All Groan Up, through my books, and had the privilege of hearing from thousands of you from around the world, the more I realized that these lies are affecting so many of us. They are keeping us stuck. Yet, many of us don’t even realize it.

That’s why in the second video in my free online course: “UnStuck: Crush the Things that Are Holding You Back” I took head on the 5 biggest lies that are holding us back and keeping us stuck.

If you haven’t already, click here and snag your spot in the 3-part series for free (this week only) to learn how to identify and tackle these lies that are keeping you from moving forward. Then as well you can still watch the first video in the series where I talk about how to keep yourself from becoming a real.live.half.dead adult, along with many other things.

One of the lies I discuss in this second video can be so devastating I needed to write about it here at All Groan Up as well.

That lie?

That we don’t have what it takes.

When we tell ourselves that we don’t have what it takes we’re letting insecurities and fear dictate our future.

I know from experience.

Growing up, a huge insecurity for me was talking to people. It was a running joke in my family that I was afraid to even ask for ketchup. I loved Burger King. I love slathering those burgers in ketchup. Yet I was too nervous to go to the counter and ask for it.

I was always having to give half my burger and some fries to my brother to do it for me.

Now, it’s crazy that most of my life is spent talking to people. Yet, no matter how many times I jump on stage, I still have that lie in my head trying to tell me that I don’t have what it takes.

And that’s the thing — when you try to crush these lies sometimes they only get louder and more in your face. That’s why it’s best to tackle these lies in community with friends, mentors, and guides. That’s partially why I wanted to go beyond blog posts and books so that we could help each other move forward in more real-time community and a structured framework in an online course.

I think we all struggle with this insecure feeling of “I’m not good enough” at some point. It’s this voice in the back of our mind that keeps us from stepping outside our comfort zone and chasing after our dreams.

But that voice is a lie.

You are good enough.

Taking action on your goals and dreams will become a little less frightening in time. With each step forward you start building a little more resolve.

But you don’t ever completely get rid of fear. You start by doing something in the face of fear, and then the next time it’s a little less frightening.

Come on over to the 3-part UnStuck series and let’s untangle ourselves from these lies. Let’s start really talking about what’s going on in our lives and help each other move forward.

We don’t connect over our pretend perfection, we connect over our shared struggles.

Get UnStuck and find work you love (Free Course — this week only)

Have you ever felt stuck? Where you have all these big hopes and dreams inside of you, yet you just can’t find the time, motivation, or opportunities to make any of them happen?

Is there some secret to getting unstuck and actually doing work you love?

Or is working one crappy job after another supposed to be our story?

That’s a lot of questions! But thankfully I’ve got some helpful answers.

For years I’ve wanted to go deeper with the wonderful community here at All Groan Up to help you in a more substantial, meaningful way beyond what I can do through a blog post or even through one of my books.

That’s why I’m excited to give you an amazing resource I’ve been working on for months — a FREE, 3-part video course called UnStuck: How to Crush the Things That Are Holding You Back.

In this 3-part video course I share:

The most proven and effective secret to moving forward and making progress (and it’s probably not what you think)
The 6 biggest lies we believe that keep us stuck
How to transform failures into your great successes
The 10 most important questions you need to ask to live a purposeful, significant, and profitable life.
The power of understanding and leveraging the “Pivotal Plot Points” in your life (especially the ones that didn’t go as planned)
The secret to getting people to help you without even having to ask.

Plus, when you enroll for this free course you’ll also get my ebook The 10 Key Ingredients to Finding Your Signature Sauce.

At the end of the 3-part video course you’ll have the chance to snag one of the limited spots in my new, full online course Find Your Signature Sauce, which launches next week, giving you an action plan and going even deeper into finding where your passion, purpose, and career collide. Hundreds and hundreds of people have already signed up for the Signature Sauce wait-list and I’m extremely excited to officially open the doors.

Enroll now in this amazing 3-part video course to help you get unstuck and then be on the look out for the full Signature Sauce course opening next week. I usually charge $79 to attend one of my workshops to hear the information you’ll get in this 3-part course, but I’m giving it to you right now for free this week only. So you need to go enroll in the Get Unstuck course now to watch the first video in the course, with the other two videos releasing throughout this week.

Unwedge yourself from stuckness. Move forward. Live on purpose with purpose.

Or stay stuck.

Please, don’t stay stuck.

Let’s do this!

Paul

PS – This free UnStuck video course is honestly some of the best work I’ve ever done. It’s full of inspiration and insight, but it’s only available for the next few days. Snag your spot now.

 

When you pursue your dream, doors will open — love this story

The most courageous step towards pursuing your dream is the first one.

No step is harder, more complicated, more unknown, yet more freeing.

No one sees the whole path clearly when they take that first step. Yet, only by taking it can your dreams evolve, grow, and become reality.

I mean, what’s the craziest dream you can think of?

How about if you sold everything, bought an RV, traveled to all 50 states, worked 50 different jobs and filmed a documentary about the whole thing?

Oh, and you did this all on your honeymoon?

Sound ridiculous and amazing?

Well, it is.

That’s the incredible true story of Heath Padgett and Alyssa Padgett  — two twentysomethings who went from feeling stuck in their jobs and unsure of their next step, to taking a cross-country adventure working 50 different jobs in 50 states. And filming a documentary about it called “Hourly America.”

I had the privilege of interviewing Heath and Alyssa Padgett. Watch a short-clip of the interview below to hear their inspiring story.

Because their dream didn’t initially start that big. But as they moved forward, their dream grew and found a way.

As Heath told me in our interview together:

We were not qualified. So if anybody would’ve had an excuse to not pursue a crazy idea, it would be us…We were just young kids trying to figure out what we wanted to do, but just by putting ourselves out there, we were able to make it work.”

Watch this short clip of Heath and Alyssa’s story and be inspired, with the full interview in my Finding Your Signature Sauce online course launching in a few weeks.

Every dream starts with that first step.

PS – If you’re not on the priority wait-list to snag one of the limited spots in the Signature Sauce course when the doors open, go claim your spot. And when you do, you’ll also receive the free ebook The 10 Key Ingredients to Finding Your Signature Sauce

PPS – I’ve become really good friends with Heath and Alyssa Padgett over this past year, and they are the real deal. Find out more about their story at Heath Padgett, Alyssa Padgett, and Hourly America. They also have been my amazing team and collaborators in helping me build the Signature Sauce course, literally living with me for a week as we filmed all the course content! You’ll get to know Heath a lot better when you jump into the Signature Sauce program, as he and I go through a series within the course on ways to uncover and implement your Signature Sauce. Wheww…that was a long PPS!

What I Learned From Shopping Cart Man…

Every day I watched Shopping Cart Man push his grocery cart past the coffee shop I’d write at.

I was trying to finish my first book. Shopping Cart Man was trying to find quarters in the newspaper stands.

I’d spent years working on the same book, and with my bank account and dreams of ever seeing my book published dwindling faster than my iced coffee, I began to lose hope.

Drawing by Nathan Scheck found in the book All Groan Up

On one particular day as I watched Shopping Cart Man sit down in the sweltering August Los Angeles air, I dipped my hand into my coffee fund and pulled out my last 10 dollars.

As I thought about the five cups of coffee that this last piece of paper could buy me, an insane thought danced around my mind:

You need to give Shopping Cart Man that 10 dollar bill.

But I’m broke too, I reasoned with myself. In a month that might be me riding in that man’s shopping cart. Or him in mine. Or switching off, as I’m sure we would work out some sort of pushing rotation.

I don’t care. You need to give Shopping Cart Man that 10 dollar bill.

No . . . no . . . you don’t understand. This is my last 10 . . . 

You need to give Shopping Cart Man that 10 dollar bill.

Fine! I yelled, coffee leaping over the edges of my mug. I’ll give my last 10 to Shopping Cart Man. But promise that if I do, you’ll help me write a couple really insightful pages.

I don’t know if you can bribe your conscience, but since it had me giving away my last 10 dollar bill I thought it was worth a shot.

I wanted to be a completely joyful, no-strings-attached giver. But all the caffeine had me on edge. That, and I’m selfish. 

What I learned from Shopping Cart Man

I walked outside into the hot, smug, L.A. air that feels like you’re trying to cuddle with an exhaust pipe, and in an act of valiant reluctance, gave Shopping Cart Man my last 10 dollar bill. He stood up to leave while I scurried back to my comfortable coffee shop seat.

Ten minutes later, he was back. He sat outside the tinted window right next to me. We were like old friends having a drink together with just a thin piece of glass to separate us. Me in air conditioning. Him in the hundred-degree heat. A thin piece of glass that could have been the Berlin Wall for the separation it created.

As I watched Shopping Cart Man, I saw what my donation had bought him — a 64-ounce Pepsi, a burger, a big bag of Fiery Fritos, and two lottery tickets.

He scratched the tickets first, which greatly excited me, my writing now a distant second. I envisioned him jumping up and dancing as the new million-dollar winner. I would run outside and grab his hands, and we would jump up and down in a circle. Laughing like brothers opening up our Christmas presents. We’d be the lead story on the 11 o’clock news, both of us standing by his shopping cart, arms around each other’s shoulders like father and son.

The homeless man who finally caught his break. The young guy who valiantly (I’d leave out “reluctantly”) made it happen. We were going to be local legends.

But he quickly threw the tickets on the sidewalk, crushing our 11 o’clock debut.

He pounded down the burger and fries, and then just sat back with his bag of chips. Slowly, meticulously, he took one bite after another, and then threw the next chip to the pigeons around him.

Then something happened. It wasn’t dramatic. If anyone else had been watching, they probably wouldn’t have noticed or cared.

But I’d been watching Shopping Cart Man almost every day for a month as he walked up and down the sidewalks. That day, as he sat there feeding the pigeons, he did something I’d never seen him do before.

He smiled.

He was feeding the pigeons around him. He was full and he was happy.

His smile became my answer. A smile from feeding those who needed it more than him. It was a painting of profound simplicity. There was nothing more satisfying than seeing him content. 

If You Want to Do Something Big

Our generation has more options, more education, and more “potential” at our disposal than any other in the history of humankind. We’re told from day one that the world is ours. Instead of singing the ABCs in kindergarten, we were chanting, “I can do anything, I can be anything.”

What happens when all the choices and options become the never-ending cereal aisle that we can never leave? What happens to us then?

When it seemed like I was doing nothing, I was stuck, disappointed, and hurt by my lack of talent and God’s lack of faithfulness. Instead of moving forward, I did what I know how to do best. Complain. Moan. Punch my pillow and pout.

Drowning in options is a terrible way to die.

But why? As I watched Shopping Cart Man that day, something just clicked:

Enough! I told myself. Enough bitching and moaning. Enough adding to the world’s suffering instead of trying to ease it. If you’re overwhelmed with asking what you want to do with your life, remember that it’s a gift to even have the time and space to ask.

Faithful in the Small to do Something BIG

It doesn’t have to be monumental to be worthy of our effort.

It doesn’t have to be labeled “big” to be worth your time.

Every single day you have the chance to forget about your “problems” and help the world with theirs.

Our generation wants to make a big impact, and that’s an amazing vision to have.

Yet, why do we think we’re going to bypass the years of training, refining, loneliness, brokenness and failure it’s going to take to make it happen?

It will take many failed experiments before you uncover your personal Signature Sauce.

It took me 10 years of re-writing, over 20 rejections from publishers, failing and starting over time and time again before my new book All Groan Up became the real thing it needed to become.

Shopping Cart Man taught me a lot about my big dreams that day: If you want to do something big, will you first have the courage and perseverance to be faithful in the small?

This post was adapted from my book All Groan Up: Searching For Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job! If you’ve read my new book All Groan Up and liked it, I’d be honored if you left a short review on Amazon. Each positive review makes a huge difference. 

Also, if you’re interested in joining my new online course to uncover your Signature Sauce that is launching in a few weeks, there’s a discount code found inside the All Groan Up book for the course. So buying the book will actually help you save at least 3-5 times that amount on the Signature Sauce online course. Just a heads up on that…

What it Takes to be a Crazy Successful Entrepreneur

Want to know the word that scares the shizzle out of me?

Entrepreneur.

First, I can never spell it right the first time.

Second, I never felt like I could actually be one. No matter how much I dreamed about it while watching my rainy-day gray cubicle walls close in on me.

Successful entrepeneurs entrepaneurs people who start their own businesses, seemed like these larger than life mythical beings. Entrepreneurs have the energy of Gary Vaynerchuk, the brains of Mark Zuckerberg, and the guile of Richard Branson.

For me, being a successful entrepreneur seemed as realistic as trying to win the floor routine world championship against these three Russian women.

Yet, like many in our generation, the lure of creating something significant and the flexibility and freedom to work on my own, became a path I felt like I had to take.

I stumbled into being an entrepreneur without any clue how to do it. I wanted to write books. I didn’t know that would lead me to start my own business around it.

And now two years later of being a full-fledged, fully-afraid entrepreneur…I’ve failed at it.

But I’ve succeeded at it too.

On this path of being an entrepreneur I’ve learned that perfect is a myth.

Working on your own is many hours of hard, un-glamorous work. Your boss can still bug the crap out of you, yet unfortunately you’re with your boss 24/7.

Being an entrepreneur is a confusing and ambiguous word.

So when I asked successful serial entrepreneur Sam Davidson about what it means to be an entrepreneur, I loved his succinct and demystifying explanation.

Being an entrepreneur is taking an idea and putting structure around it so that other people can experience it.”

Done and done. So much simpler and attainable than the unrealistic entrepreneurial illusions I’ve created.

All of us are wired to embark in entrepreneurial efforts, even if we’ll never be a full-time entrepreneur. Or like Sam, your journey might take you to becoming an entrepreneur in a way you never could’ve expected.

If you don’t know Sam Davidson, he is the CEO and co-founder of Batch, a service which delivers local goods to you each month. He’s also a national speaker, author, and all-around wise, authentic guy. I’ve respected Sam for years and even got a chance to grab a coffee with him at one of the 33 67 trendy coffee shops near his home in Nashville.

Watch this short five-minute clip from Sam below as he shares with us his windy path to becoming an entrepreneur.

Then as well, Sam shares his secret of what makes an entrepreneur successful that is obtainable for all of us. This is just a short five-minute clip. Watch the rest of my interview with Sam in my new Finding Your Signature Sauce course, launching next month.

Have you ever wanted to be an entrepreneur, yet like me, it felt like an overwhelming dream? Watch this interview with Sam and be encouraged–no entrepreneur knows exactly what they’re doing. They’re just willing to let themselves fail to start figuring it out.