M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 96

Pathwalking 228

Just be.

Two simple words that convey far more power and meaning than we realize.  Two words to sum up our very existence.

Our culture feels equally obsessed with the past and the future.  Frequently we are inundated with messages about how we need to go back, return to what we were, restore something how it used to be.  On the other side of the coin we frequently are deluged with the messages about how we need to go forward, prepare for the future, look ahead to what can be.

There is nothing wrong with having nostalgia for the past and considering the future, but we cannot live in either of these places.  We live in the now.  And in the now it is important to learn to Just Be.

I’ve written before about the idea of living in the now.  Rather than giving our intentions and attentions to the then, be it past or future, we need to focus on living in the now.  Seeing the world as it is here and now, and taking that into how we live each and every day.

When we Just Be we are more able to live in the here and now.  We can better cope with what we have going on around us, and we can more thoroughly experience the wonders of the world we live in.

When I Just Be, and keep myself in the present I have had some simple experiences that take on greater depth.  For example, I grabbed a bite to eat on my way home last night.  Often when I do this, and I eat on the go, food is simply fuel.  I eat, but I really don’t experience the food.  Rather than just wolf down my late dinner, I took my time, I ate slowly, and I chewed every bite.  As such I didn’t just refuel myself, I enjoyed the taste and texture of my meal, and appreciated my food for more than just the sustenance it provided me.

I live in a society that is all about rushing.  We’re constantly in a hurry, frequently striving to do things as quickly and simply as possible.  When we’re on the go it’s at a rapid pace, because we want instant gratification and prompt results.  This society then gets frustrated when the end is not achieved at the desired pace, and from that we become stressed.

In the process of exploring Pathwalking, I have come to see the value of working on living more in the present, and striving to Just Be.  I am discovering that I don’t need to pay a visit to Sedona or some other fancy place to experience a deeper, richer world, I have the power to more thoroughly experience life every day by just being.

I have been striving to meditate more frequently.  I really want to do this daily, because in meditating I am completely and totally Just Being.

A lot of people believe that meditation is this complicated process where you need to clear your mind, stop thinking, and focus on nothing.  You meditate to still the mind, to calm yourself, yes, but in truth the process of meditation is to Just Be.  In this moment where you have chosen to be still you get comfortable, whether that’s the traditional lotus position or lying down or seated in a chair, and be completely present in the moment, breathing.

I focus on my breathing when I begin my meditation routine.  Putting my focus on my breathing puts me completely in the here and now, and I begin to just be.  As I go through this I sometimes take mental trips to explore my path, to speak with unseen guides, to review what was and what may be, but no matter what my mind may explore for a time I am Just Being.  I always return to focus on my breathing as I practice.

Meditation lets me renew myself, allows me to be in the moment, and to free myself from concerns and worries and stress and everything else negative that I might be working with.  The reason why this is so powerful is that when I meditate, I Just Be.

When we can Just Be, and we are in the moment and in our own heads and in the here-and-now, ultimately we empower ourselves.  We can take the moment and build our lives up, and better choose how we want to live.

Pathwalking is a means to self-empowerment.  In this crazy, often bizarre and confusing world each and every one of us is best capable of making our own lives. Nobody else can live my life for me, nobody else knows my mind and what I want to do and who I want to be…so why would I give away my own empowerment? When I Just Be, I am complete, I am whole, and I am empowered.

Just Be.  It is amazing where this can take us all if we put just a little more time and effort into this notion.

How do you go about just being?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 18:

Diet: I am continuing to write out what I eat daily.  I am working on doing better with eating healthy and eating less.  Had a complete and total cheat day last week, however.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week, and I got to the gym twice.  Since acquiring a Fitbit I have been more attentive to walking every day as well.

Writing:  Four days of writing and editing again.  Lot of focus on completing my Steampunk novel.

Meditation: Only got in 2 day of meditation last week.  And I noticed the lack, and need to improve on that.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 things to be grateful for every day last week.  I am past 30 days in a row of this practice, and I feel really good about keeping up with this process.

 

 

This is the two-hundred twenty eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Available Now: Clouds of Authority – A Vapor Rogues Novel

I am absolutely delighted to announce that my Steampunk novel is available for purchase!

Clouds of Authority – A Vapor Rogues Novel can be acquired for your Kindle or in paperback.

I am really excited about this series.  While it is primarily Steampunk, I have also worked in elements of sci-fi, Cyberpunk and even fantasy.

This weekend I will be attending the Steampunk Worlds Fair.  On Sunday , May 15, I will be reading a selection from the novel at 10:00am.  I will also be selling and signing copies of the novel as well.

I really think this unique series will speak to a wide audience.  Please read and enjoy – and please review on Amazon if you like it.

Thank you for your continued support!

 

Positivity: Not Holding Yourself Back

The only thing that holds most of us back is ourselves.

We live in a world that is so full of possibility, opportunity and potential that it’s rather staggering.  Yet we often believe that the world is actually full of lack, or limitations and impossibility.

I am not writing about pie-in-the-sky, rose-colored glasses optimism, I am writing about reasonable, fully accessible options we often overlook or disregard or simply don’t completely see.

I have been writing for most of my life.  I submitted countless inquiries to publishers and agents and the traditional route to publishing.  It’s been a tough road to hoe, and I really wanted to get an agent and/or a major publisher behind my work.  I still want that.

But I decided that rather than sit on numerous completed works and do nothing, I would use the tools available to me and publish myself.  I could do all the necessary assembly and self-promote, and voila – I am now a published author.

This is not without risks.  Sales and marketing are challenging, and wholly on me.  I have to find and make ways to promote my works and to get my name out there.  But when all is said and done I am not just an aspiring author – I am a published writer.  I may not yet have tens of thousands of sales of my works, but they are out there, and the possibility of further success is in front of me.

I could have chosen to stay the course, continue to write my books and seek an agent and open calls from publishers and focus my attention and intentions there.  However, I decided that while that is still a course of action to pursue, I should also take the opportunity before me to put my works out there and use new methods to achieve the same goal.

I have over the course of my life on more than one occasion held myself back.  I didn’t think I was good enough or I let some fear of the unknown or succeeding or failing stay my hand.  But knowing that the only thing generally holding me back is me, I can choose a different course and do and be more.

This is an enormous generator of positivity.  I am doing things that make me feel proud and happy and accomplished, and those are positive feelings.  When I feel more positive I feel more confident, and that in turn will let me do the things I want to do with my life and be the person I most wish to be.

Positivity can be found in many unexpected places.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that we are most held back from our desires by our own selves, we can work to overcome self-imposed limitations.  When we see that we are held back by our own self-judgements and beliefs, and we work on finding and taking actions to change them we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

 

This is the one hundred nineteenth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Coming Soon: My new Steampunk novel, Clouds of Authority

I am very excited about my newest book!

The first novel of my Steampunk series, called The Vapor Rogues, will be coming out in the next few days.  I am particularly excited about this series, because it is, I believe, a rather unique entity.

Back in 2012 I was given my second opportunity to have a short story published.  Like the first that was published in the anthology Rum and Runestones, the topic was pirates and magic.  Since I was newly into Steampunk, I determined that this would make a great background.

And so The Vapor Rogues came into being, published in the anthology Spells and Swashbucklers.  I spent quite some time building a really elaborate, unique world for this story, mixing together elements of fantasy and science fiction into the wide open mold that is Steampunk.

As an author, I tend to write out my scenes and my story, and somewhere along the way the world comes together.  But with The Vapor Rogues, I laid out a pretty elaborate world in the beginning.

But just one short story in that world was not going to satisfy the work I put into its construction.

So I began the first novel, and Clouds of Authority was born.  I revisited the characters of The Vapor Rogues short, and expanded not only their story, but the story of the world three years after their first adventure.

 

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Clouds of Authority – A Vapor Rogues Novel:

Over eight hundred years ago, war raged across Amasheer.  In an act of unspeakable violence, a chemical agent was unleashed, poisoning the atmosphere.  To contain the spread of the toxin, the magic wielding, dark skinned Maju-Orcericians created a perpetual cloud layer to hold the poison beneath it.  The Maju-Orcericians took as many people as they could to the highest peaks of the world, above the cloud.  The survivors constructed immense floating cities over the next eight centuries, starting new lives and rebuilding the population…and a new era was begun.

But the eight centuries of stability created and maintained by the Maju-Orcericians is faltering.  Technology has changed only very slowly over the years.  The people have been relying on steam, solar and wind for the majority of their power, and dirigibles and biplanes for travel. The scion of an old family line is employing new technologies, and using them to gain control of multiple floating cities.

A young Maju-Orcerician may represent the next evolutionary step of her people.  Unaware of her importance, she seeks her own destiny.

The prospector crew of the former warship Thunderbolt lead fairly normal lives.  Yet they have in their explorations uncovered secrets from the surface below that could change life for all above the cloud.

The winds of change swirl through the clouds of authority.  The world above the cloud will be forever altered, but no one can predict if it will be for good or ill?

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I have REALLY enjoyed creating and playing in this world.  I think the world I have built for The Vapor Rogues is pretty unique.

What’s different about this Steampunk story from others?

I have worked to blend the Victorian England elements of Steampunk, like the costumes and dirigibles and fantastical steam-powered technologies that never quite got built, with sci-fi elements like cold fusion, floating cities, energy weapons and computer technology, along with the fantasy element of sorcerers wielding unique powers.

Clouds of Authority is the first book of a planned series.  The second book, Clouds of Destiny, is complete, but as-yet unedited.

Clouds of Authority – A Vapor Rogues Novel will be available for print and Kindle shortly in just a few more days!

 

PS: Special thank you to George LaVigne (for those in the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) you know him as Don Orlando Sforza).  I commissioned art work for the cover, and what he delivered exceeded anything I could have hoped for.  Not just one of my favorite fencing buddies, he’s one of my favorite artists, too.

Pathwalking 227

Pathwalking is in no way a selfish act.

Yes, I am working on living a life of my own choosing.  But I am not doing anything that is selfish in the process.  In fact, I believe that in working to choose and walk my own paths, I am a better listener, friend and confidant.

How can you be doing more for yourself but still suggest you do more for others?

None of this is about quantity.  On the contrary, this is really all about quality.

In choosing my own destiny and walking my own paths I am working on improving the quality of my life and the experiences I am having.  When my life is more as I would want it to be, I feel better about it.  When I feel better, I can offer more to my friends and loved ones because I have more to give.

We are taught that it is important to be selfless.  That we should give as much and then more of ourselves to others because that in turn makes us better.  That we should not keep for ourselves when we can give to others.

And that right there is the biggest problem.  People do not realize then when you are giving from an empty vessel, you’re not giving out much of anything at all.

It’s all well and good to give and give and give, but when you have nothing for yourself, how can you have anything to give away?  This is illogical because it’s an important truth.

We need to have energy, we need to have the ability to cope, we need to have power of our own in order to share or even to give it away.  We need to be complete before we attempt to provide completeness to others.  We need to feel feelings before we share or give them to others.

So Pathwalking is about building your own destiny.  When you are building, you in theory can build plenty of extras, so you would then have more to give.

You have to have something instead of nothing, before you attempt to share or give to others.  It is better for you, and for the people you want to help or otherwise effect when you are not running on empty.

Another important aspect of this is the idea of sacrifice.  In addition to believing that we should be selfless, we are also taught by some that we should sacrifice for the good of others.  We should go without if it means that someone else is not wanting.

This poses several issues.  The first is the implication that the Universe is limited.  That there is only a limited supply of things, whether tangible or intangible.  That there is just enough or that there is not enough of whatever the thing is for everyone.

This is simply untrue.  The Universe is abundant.  It is infinite.  As such, limitations are wholly our own creations.

I am sure an argument can be made about limited amounts of tangible goods.  I believe that in an abundant Universe even the tangible only is limited if we make it so.

The second issue sacrifice poses is the notion that it is better to go without for the good of another.  Is it really?  Because I would think that it doesn’t really do either of us any good for either of us to go without.

Sacrifice does not make us better people.  Why?  Because usually with sacrifice comes resentment.  I had the thing, then I gave it up so YOU could have the thing, and I am perturbed because I don’t know if you are sufficiently grateful for my sacrifice.  Would you do the same if our roles were reversed?

This is a part of human nature.  But it is also why it is folly to give when we haven’t anything TO give, and why sacrifice does not serve.

It is important to strike a balance.  Share.  Give, but not so much that you are sacrificing.  Make choices that will be beneficial to everyone.

I certainly haven’t all the answers, but I think that I can prove Pathwalking is not a selfish act.

Do you give from a place of plenty or from a place of lack?

 

 

GOAL LOG – Week 17:

Diet: I continue tracking my intake, and I’m seeing there is still improvement in my choices and portions.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week, plus one trip to the gym and a lot of walking.

Writing:  Four days of writing and editing.

Meditation: I spent at least 6 minutes meditating five days last week.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 or 6 things to be grateful for every day last week.

 

This is the two-hundred twenty seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine.

It may be and old adage, it may be cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less true.  Laughter is a fantastically powerful vehicle to positivity.

It is nearly impossible to feel bad when you are laughing.  Not entirely impossible, no, but nearly impossible.  Laughter is a release akin to tears, but much more frequently a positive one.  Something evoked a powerful response, and it made you laugh.

Might be a joke.  Maybe someone had a good pratfall.  Maybe your friend told a story that was hilarious.  Something you remembered or someone near you recalled something that set you to giggling.

Laughter is an outburst of emotion, and usually a reaction to something that made you feel so good it “tickled your funnybone”.  Laughter releases tension in a positive way, though admittedly excess laughter can cramp your belly and chest muscles.  That in no way lessens its worth.

I love when something makes me laugh.  I thoroughly enjoy that sensation when the smile on my face extends itself and I start to chuckle, or end up with a full-throated guffaw.  The positive energy of laughter is intoxicating, and I want to experience more.

The release of tension brought about by laughter is a wonderful feeling.  That sigh when the laughter subsides and you have something of a euphoric calm settling upon you.  This is something I think we do not get enough of.

The world has gotten into a very dark, very brooding place on many levels.  A lot of the joy has been sucked out of life because we seem to think that as adults we have a duty to struggle, to fight against certain things, and to be serious almost all the time.  But why do we hold to this?  Why do we accept this as our reality?

We need to find more ways to enjoy life.  We need to work to see life not as a struggle and full of complications, but as an opportunity and full of possibilities. Laughter helps to show us this side, because it is generally a pleasant and positive experience when we reach that place.

It helps to seek out more things that draw laughter from us.  We need to remember that life is not this serious, all-too-deep, frequently joyless experience and that it is full of funny things.  Positive things.  And laughter expresses this, and can be more infectious than expressions of sorrow and sadness.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?  Fish!

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that laughter is a mood enhancer, and generally a conduit for positivity, we should work to find more things that make us laugh.  When we take life less seriously and we allow ourselves to feel joy and to release tension through laughter, we ultimately empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred eighteenth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 226

Pathwalking is not the One True Way.

Simple as that.  This my personal philosophy for working on doing as I would wish to do to live the life I want to live.  This is my method for being in control of the things within my control.

I have in my four plus decades on this planet learned a lot of things.  I have experienced quite a bit, too.  I have seen, heard, read and otherwise gotten involved in many adventures, both good and bad.  Along the way information has come into my possession, and I have formulated my personal view of the world from this.

With certain exceptions, nothing is unchangeable.  Exceptions include the Earth rotates around the Sun, gravity does its thing and keeps us on the surface of the planet, the Earth is round, and similar irrefutable, scientific truths.

What we believe can be changed.  What I believed about the world and how life worked at the age of ten was not what I believed at the age of twenty; what I believed about the world and how life worked at the age of twenty is not what I believed at the age of forty.

Certain things remained the same over the years, but many were changed.  I learned things, experienced things, found things that changed my world and my perspective on it.

Sometimes this was easy.  I had been seeking out a change, I wanted something different for my life, and so on.  But other times this was hard.  I wanted things to be as they were and I did not want to see them change.  I wanted what I knew to remain constant, even though I had learned that it was not.

Some of these things are based in truths that change as we study them.  For example: when I was a kid I learned that dinosaurs were related to modern lizards.  Now science tells me they are more related to modern avians.

More of the truths we believe are based on opinions, experiences, what we do with our own lives.  We go to school and learn from our teachers not just the things that are in the books, but how to think.  The way we think academically is different in high school than it is in college, when we start to be more independent and begin to learn to think critically.  As our approach changes, what we know and believe changes.

This can get particularly sticky for many people.  You learn a thing, you believe that thing, and then something challenges it.  Perhaps you can defend it and continue to think as you do; or you refuse to accept that it is not as you think it is, and resist change; or you see the new perspective, and you adapt your take on it.

In my experience, most people don’t much like change.  I’m guilty of this as well, there have been many times I resisted changing because I didn’t want it.  Human nature is often to nest, and that’s not just settle down in a place to call home physically; we want to take comfort in our knowledge.  When that knowledge is challenged some react violently to not be affected by change.

Look at American politics right now.  The open hostility, the bigotry, the racism, the hatred is based on precisely this.  People are being challenged to think in a way counter to what they already do, and they do not want to give in.  Those seeking power are playing on people’s resistance to change, or people’s desire for it.  No change, change going forward, change going backwards.  What will draw the most people to vote for person ‘X’ and get him or her elected?  That’s what is stirring people right now.

There are certain things I have come to believe about how the Universe works.  Some I have seen for myself, some I have studied or read about, some are based on experiences, others are based on faith.  When I am challenged about my beliefs, depending on which is being challenged, I will either defend my position, refuse to accept that I may need to shift my view, or change to match the new data.

I believe that consciousness creates reality.  I believe that if we are more positive we build better things.  I believe that we are all empowered to choose for ourselves.  I believe that I alone control my emotional state, unless I give that power away.  I believe that I can find and walk my own path in this life.

Pathwalking is my philosophy.  I created this idea and shared it because I believe that I am happier when I take control of my life experience.  I have had issues, I have had good days and bad, but overall I believe that the choices I make are right for me.

You may think differently.  I expect you to.  I also respect that you may have a totally different perspective from mine.  I will not force my way on you and expect the same courtesy in return; however, I am all for a good, intellectual, well-thought debate and discussion on any given topic.  Maybe you can show me that I need to adjust aspects of my philosophy.

Life is a paradox.  The world is vast, but at the same time amazingly small.  We want stability but at the same time we want change.  We want control but at the same time we want to let others guide us.  Whatever paths we choose along the way, the challenges we face are what make us into who we are.

My answers to certain questions will differ from yours.  When we better accept that this ok, and we can coexist with our differences, we can work together to build a better world.

Pathwalking is my way.  What is yours?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 16:

Diet: I continue tracking my intake, and I’m seeing continued improvement in choices and portions.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week, and I hit the gym twice.  I did a large amount of walking on one day, so my I exceeded my goal.

Writing:  Five days of writing and editing.

Meditation: I spent at least 4 minutes meditating six days last week.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 things to be grateful for every day last week.

 

This is the two-hundred twenty sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Positivity in the Everyday

Some days the most positive thing is having the day before you.

We all have days when we wake up from a poor night’s sleep, or we have that thing on our mind, or we have residual issues from the day before we know we cannot simply leave behind.  That does not negate the positivity of simply being alive.

I believe that we all frequently overlook the positivity in the simplest things in life.  Things we just take for granted as simply being, but that are in truth full to bursting with positivity.

I woke up this morning.  Might have been tired, still, perhaps a little groggy from allergies, maybe a bit sore from yesterday’s activities.  I am here.  I have a day full of potential ahead of me, and that is immensely positive.

I sat down for a bit and read a couple chapters from a book.  I can read and enjoy works of fiction, and that is hugely positive.  I have an e reader and books to choose from to do this with.  Again, more small things about which to be positive.

Here I sit before my keyboard typing out my weekly blog post.  I get to choose and share positivity with you, and THAT is hugely positive.  I get to explore with you ways to feel good about my day, about life, about what lies ahead and all sorts of options before me.

To many this is probably going to seem like a stretch.  You may think that I am scrambling for a topic and thus tossing this simplicity at you this week.  But this is much deeper and more crucial to recognize than we usually credit it.

Every single day I choose how I want to approach my life.  Do I want to follow along with the masses who see the world as a burnt up husk of fear and terror and disaster?  Or would I rather see how good it is to be here, in this time of instantaneous communication, a world of huge potential and endless possibility, a world of love and peace and renewal?

I believe that this small shift in thinking, in seeing positivity in the littlest things every single day can further shift the big things.  The universe itself began as a microscopic spark that exploded into the infinite vastness of the cosmos we know surrounds us.  We are all creators, and we have so very much more power than we take for ourselves.  Seeing the positivity in the little things of the everyday can only help us build positivity in the bigger things, and from there the possibilities are virtually endless.

Positivity in the everyday.  Positivity as our approach to this life.  I know that I would rather feel good and hopeful than bad and hopeless, wouldn’t you?

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that every little thought we have about the most mundane matters of the everyday can be redirected by each and every one of us, we have an important choice we frequently neglect.  When we look for and see the positivity in the simplest things in our everyday lives, this leads to creating positivity in the bigger things and with the creation of more positivity we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventeenth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Pathwalking 225

Why do I feel so stuck?  Why does it feel for every step forward I am taking two steps back?  Why is it for every perceived win I have two losses?  Why do I feel like I cannot manifest what I want to?

The short answer is Anger.

I have a lot of anger within me.  As I have become more adept at meditation I am getting better at digging into my inner psyche, and what I am seeing is a lot of anger.

What am I so angry about?

This is the challenge I am facing.  I need to ascertain the answer to this question, because I believe it is my repressed anger that is holding me back and preventing me from manifesting.

When I was younger I had a violent temper.  Didn’t hurt anyone or anything, but I did throw things, punch walls, scream out loud, kicked holes in doors.  Broke a number of cordless phones in my anger, tossed furniture about, had to patch up walls and doors that felt my wrath.

Over the years I have been in and out of therapy, and along the way even went on a prescription of Prozac a couple times.  I found new ways to cope with my anger, and the violence of my temper abated.

I don’t think I repressed my anger.  I still found expression for the anger.  I think what I did was not actually deal with the root of the anger I had.

I was still angry.  I was still upset about a thing.  I let it go, in the then, but I didn’t address it.  I either blew it off, let it pass, or I took another path away from it.  However, what I did not do was address it and actually deal with it.

Now I am realizing I have a great deal of anger I have not dealt with.  It is way beneath the surface, and I am learning that it is blocking me from accomplishing the things I want.  I am having trouble manifesting because my anger, which is rooted in fear, is causing me to disbelieve, to doubt, and as such manifestation becomes impossible.

When I have successfully manifested things I wanted and needed in the past I had no doubt, no disbelief, they just were.  I saw the outcome, and there was nothing that would be able to get between myself and the outcome.  That was that, and lo the thing I wanted to make manifest manifested.

I have a lot of unresolved anger, which is largely a result of much deeper rooted fears.  That anger has made me doubtful, and the doubt in turn prevents me from manifesting.

This is one big vicious cycle, of course.  I am angry, which in turn means all my doubts get magnified.  I want to see myself successful but then I see the balance in my bank account, the bills, the lack of sales of my books and the inability to land a decent job and constantly being without…surprise surprise I remain in this state of lack, I remain unable to create anything but what I already have, and that, in turn, contributes to my deep rooted unresolved anger.

Then, just to add a measure of fun, I get angry in the now.  I am angry that this is the situation I find myself in, and I am angry at myself for every perceived mistake, every negative emotion, every inaction – because I know that these are contributing to reinforcing my inability to manifest.  Anger is powerful.

How do I resolve this?  This is the part that is going to be the most challenging.  The short answer is that I have to forgive myself.

The past is passed.  I have to stop holding onto all the things of the past that I have been so angry about, and I have to forgive myself for feeling the way I feel.  I also have to be conscious of my current feelings, and not allow anger to be so dominant.

But I cannot just simply let it all go.  I need to dig into the roots of this long-held anger.  I need to sit down and write out what I am feeling angry about, deep down, and really examine the origins and the causes of my anger issues.  What fears have evoked this anger?  Why do I feel so angry about the things I am angry about so deep down?

This will require some major meditation and soul searching, but I believe that the outcome makes it quite worthwhile.  However, I also recognize that I am going to likely uncover some old wounds.  I am angry about a number of long-ago matters, and living with them in the here-and-now will require me to expose them so that I can seal them up more permanently.

At the root of all anger is fear.  I have written extensively about fear over the years, and I know that this particular journey will likely be gut-wrenching.  I need to remember in the process that I do not need to be angry about all these things from my past, and I need to feel my anger, work through it, and replace it, not let it go.  Replace it with forgiveness.  Replace the anger with peace.  Replace the anger with contentment.

That is the work ahead of me.  Dig out the roots of the anger, examine the fears that generated it, feel it out, get to the why of it and then replace it with something more constructive.  Letting it go has not let it go for me, so now the key is to replace it.

This is one of those fascinating obstacles along my path.  But I have no doubt I can work my way through it.  Thanks for being part of this journey.

Do you have unresolved fears and anger you haven’t gotten to the roots of?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 15:

Diet: I continue tracking my intake, and I’m seeing some improvement in choices and portions.

Exercise: Fencing happened but I only got to the gym 1 day.  However I took at least twenty-minute walks on three days.

Writing:  Six days of writing and editing.

Meditation: I spent at least 4 minutes meditating seven days last week.

Gratitude: I wrote out 5 things to be grateful for every day last week.

More progress.

 

This is the two-hundred twenty fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Positivity: Optimism

Optimism is a good thing.

I recently read a blog post by another author for whom I have a great deal of respect, and he was exploring how we have allowed pessimism and fatalism overcome reason.

Like attracts like.  If we want to be pessimistic about the future and all that it holds for us, likely this is what we are going to create for ourselves.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a bleak, dismal and unfortunate future.

Hope is a good thing.  Optimism is hope, and there is nothing wrong with feeling hope.  We need to have hope, we need to see a brighter, better future.

This, however, starts will a better perspective on today.

If we look at the here and now as unfortunate, as bad, as full of fear and anger and hatred then that is what we are going to see.  Why do we only want to witness the bad, acknowledge all the terrible things happening?  Why do we allow ourselves to live in such tremendous fear?

I am not denying there are troubles in the world today.  But they are overblown, they are looked upon too closely, and I do not believe they are quite so bad as we are seeing them to be.  Yes, there are a lot of haters and a lot of bigots and misogynists and greedy people out there.  But there are also a lot of lovers, a lot of proponents of equality and generosity out there, too.

We need to look for and better acknowledge the optimism and the positivity, because I am pretty sure nobody actually wants to live in a place filled with hate and loathing and lack and pessimism.  We need to stop focusing so much on the bad and instead turn to look for the good.  We need to love more, and stop letting ourselves be bathed in this awful pessimism.

Is this message too hippy-crunchy for you?  If so, why does that matter?  We need to be more optimistic here and now, and not allow this terrible vision of tomorrow so many are believing in become reality.  We should have hope, we should see the promise of a better tomorrow and work more on making that our reality.  Each of us has the opportunity to do that, but we have to choose it for ourselves.

I am an optimist for the most part, but with an oversize dose of skepticism.  I am working on being less skeptical, because I want to do what I can in my own small way to spread more positivity in this world.  I believe this is possible.  I am highly optimistic that our future is not bleak and barren, but grand and glorious and full of all sorts of possibility.

Optimism brings more positivity to the world.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action.  Knowing that optimism is a good thing, we can express more hope and strive to envision both the good of today and a better tomorrow.  When we are optimistic about our lives, we can create so many incredible things, and when we are creating we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred sixteenth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

In relation to Positivity, check out my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.