M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 99

Positivity: Expressing Love

I love you.

This is the most powerful phrase in the world. It can lighten our step, it can change our mood, it can make our world better in ways beyond measure.

I used to be terrified of this phrase. The implications behind it, the commitment, the expectations. I didn’t want to say it because I know that it can be ever changing, that it can be impermanent, and that it can be as destructive as it can be powerful.

But that’s not love….that’s fear. Fear is not just the path to the Dark Side, it is a tool that gets used again and again to control, to make people choose things they don’t actually want and that are against their best interests, and it gets used to shape our world.

Love is not fear. But in many respects they are the opposite sides of the coin. One of the many many reasons I think Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist is a favorite book of mine is this line right here:

“My Heart Is Afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”

We are so afraid that in the process of loving we will experience suffering, we skip the love. We fear broken hearts, we fear that love will change and end and that it will hurt. Nobody wants to suffer, and fear is equally as powerful as love. The tug-of-war between these forces frequently can go either way.

I chose many years ago to stop fearing love. Love takes on so many forms and it is so amazingly healing and powerful that even when it crashes and it goes awry, I am still better for having experienced that love.

Fear destroys. Fear tears apart and fear belittles us. Love builds. Love knits us together and love grows us. Yes, I cannot deny love can come with pain…but love is not suffering, love is joy. Love is healing.

I love you. I don’t just write that here as a meaningless homage to the idea of love – I write this because you need to believe it. I DO love you. I may not know you personally, but I love the spark within you. I love what you are capable of, I love you for your potential and the love and joy that you bring to other people in the world. That is what love is – unabashed, unafraid, happiness and joy and ultimate positivity. I write this every week because of my love for you, and because you can never have too much love in the world.

My friends, my family, my random readers I may never meet, please don’t fear the most powerful phrase in the world. Embrace it, utilize it so we can work together to build this amazing world instead of dividing and tearing it all apart.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that saying I love you can change the world for the better, we have a most powerful tool. When we express our love, in whatever form that takes, we ultimately empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred seventh entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Musings on writing projects and getting readers

How do I draw in more readers?

I have now published four books. It began with the first year’s worth of Pathwalking, including some extra bits (which largely came from this blog).

The second was Seeker: The Source Chronicles Book I. First in the fantasy series I’ve been working on now since 1998. Due to the nature of the story I targeted it not just to lovers of Fantasy, but to young adults. It is certainly no more violent than many other works for YA out there.

A little more than a year later I published Finder: The Source Chronicles Book II. I continue the story of The Seeker of the Source, new location and many new characters. Expanding upon a world I’ve been writing in for nearly eighteen years now.

In the middle of these I published Vortex Pilgrimage. Not my normal style, an homage to Paulo Coelho’s style and the notion at least is based on many of my life experiences.

Come May, I intend to publish my 5th book. The first novel to follow the short story I wrote for Spells and Swashbucklers called The Vapor Rogues. This is more time in my Steampunk world, and I am hoping that I will be bringing the book to The Steampunk Worlds’ Fair. This composition will be called Clouds of Authority – A Vapor Rogues Novel.

Beyond these five I still blog every week here – Mondays I present Positivity, on Wednesdays its Pathwalking. All of the writing I do covers a fairly wide range of topics.

I have more finished books. Harbinger: The Source Chronicles Book III is in fact complete, but unedited. Clouds of Destiny – A Vapor Rogues Novel is also complete but unedited. As I strive to write regularly my main focus has been on a wholly new sci-fi epic, though I am not quite halfway through Guardians: The Source Chronicles Book IV.

Writing. I write. Fantasy, sci-fi, Steampunk, other fiction, self-help or philosophy or New-Age or whatever you’d call my blog posts. I love to work at a job that utilizes me for either business writing or SEO blog and site writing or working on press releases and manuals and anything else that lets me write stuff.

I have the books, now the question is getting them out to a wider audience. I need to figure out how I can spread the word about all of my completed work, and increase my sales. I would love nothing more than to be able to write my novels full time.

This returns me to my original inquiry – How do I draw more readers? There are book promotion sites out there I can utilize, but they are not free. I can send messages across social media to all of my friends and to the circles beyond. I can use PPC tools with Amazon and Kindle and Facebook to spread the word and draw more sales. It’s not a lack of options as much as picking and choosing where to spend money and convincing my friends to spread the word for me to try to increase my sales.

This is the downside to going the non-traditional route. I am my own publisher, I am my own marketing department. I get to put it all together, and I get to sink or swim based solely on the effort I put forth to make this what I want it to be.

This is the path I want to walk. This is the thing I want to give most of my time to, this is the thing I most want for my life. I want to have a broader audience read and enjoy my work, and I want to be able to spend more time writing and producing those works.

If you have not done so, please explore my work. Further, if you do, please leave reviews – more reviews become tremendously useful when it comes to Amazon’s metrics. And if you enjoy what I do – please share with YOUR friends, so that I can spread the joy and give my heart and soul to the craft.

Thank you for your continued support!

Pathwalking 215

I have never chosen the conventional path.

Before I came up with the idea of Pathwalking, I still never managed to conform to any normal path. This goes back a long, long ways as I examine it.

As a kid I was not like the other kids in a number of ways I read at a higher level, I came from one of at the time few single-parent homes. I never quite meshed with the religious community in which I was raised, I always felt like an outsider, never really a part of the goings-on in the groups.

When I got to middle school and high school I was a geek. A nerd. I sang in choir, I acted in the plays and built the sets after school. I was never an athlete, I was part of a crowd that relished in playing Dungeons and Dragons and drinking highly caffeinated soda til the early hours of the morning.

I found a group where I sort-of belonged. I developed a circle of friends and had people with whom I would hang out during those years.

Then came college. Unlike the majority of my friends, who either had another year or two of high school or chose to attend a college within a five hour drive of home, I went halfway across the country. I started again, I knew nobody and was on my own.

Even after I chose my major, I still was on an unconventional path. I didn’t really hang out with other people in my degree program, I focused my attention elsewhere. I was something of an outsider, a total nonconformist within what is traditionally a tight-knit albeit competitive circle. I gained a ton of life experience attending college on my own so far away, though I still was looking for who I was and what I wanted to be.

After college I found work. That’s what you do, right? Go back for more schooling or go find a job. I found a place to live, I found a job. I tried to work within that framework, and I muddled through.

I went from one job to another. I moved around every five to seven years. I never landed that job that utilized all my skillsets, never settled into one place for more than a year or two.

Then the unexpected. I was in a serious accident that hospitalized me for a while and took a year to fully recover from. I had to rebuild myself physically.

That experience is probably where I first began to see this idea. I hadn’t formed it, I certainly didn’t put a name to it, but there was something there. I came out of that a different person, someone who had faced the possibility that there were things I could never do again – and refused to accept that.

For the first time I manifested my reality. I saw myself fully healed, I saw my life returned to what I wanted it to be. No exceptions, no other reality…and that was how it went.

Over the next several years my life continued much as it had before. Bounced through a couple different jobs, never really found my place. I had begun to establish some real roots, started to connect with people whom I am still friends with now. I began to see that my path was not going to ever be what anyone else would consider ‘normal’.

Trials and errors. I started to look at what I was doing and to embrace that the unconventional path might be what was right for me. I never chose the easy way, and I started to think that was because I never wanted the easy way.

I majored in theatre. I wanted to be a director. I worked in radio, I wanted to be a DJ. I started writing fiction when I was nine years old, I wanted to be an author. None of these choices are easy paths, none of these are what someone might call normal. All of them have risk.

For a long time I made no choice. I didn’t pursue the path of the director because I found I only really enjoyed theatre when it was not the life-sucking all-encompassing experience that professionals worked in. I was a lot happier with theatre as a hobby.

I was unwilling to relocate to the middle-of-nowhere USA to work for a crappy little radio station. I couldn’t get more than a temp gig as a DJ in upstate NY, and I was afraid to completely restart my life again. I let that fall by the wayside, and retain an ear for 90’s grunge music and fond memories of cutting and splicing reel-to-reels.

I would start to write, then stop. Then I started again. One day I started a scene that evolved into a book that evolved into a series. Two books done and published, one complete and unedited and the fourth underway. I chose a path.

I started Pathwalking as a practice and began to flesh out this life philosophy over four years ago now. One of the elements of this experience has been to embrace that mine is and always will be the unconventional path. That is who I am, and that is what helps me to choose my direction.

Why am I writing about this today? Because I am at something of a crossroads in my life. My paths have led me to a place of uncertainty, and I have been struggling with depression and questioning the choices that have brought me here. Getting caught up in the “what ifs” of life can be disconcerting, but more it can be soul-crushing. Second-guessing what you did before is no way to choose in the here-and-now or to decide on what you want in the future. The key is to accept the choices, accept all of your successes and failures and then to learn from them going forward.

Mine has been the unconventional path. I recognize this, I am working on accepting this, and as such I am prepared to continue making choices that feel right for me, but most importantly that make me happy.

“This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” – Polonius, William Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

Have you taken conventional or unconventional paths?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 5:

Diet: I am tracking what I am eating daily. Working on paying more attention to my choices.

Exercise: Fencing happened, but only one trip to the gym. Need to exercise more.

Writing: Four days of writing. One was only a few lines, but that is still writing.

Continuing.

 

This is the two-hundred fifteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Fighting Depression

Despite working to maintain and promote positivity, sometimes depression is unavoidable.

I know how this works. You put the energy and focus into maintaining a positive mindset, you use the many tools available to build positivity – and yet you still get sat upon by the black dog of depression.

What do you do with that behemoth breathing in your face?

Depression is not something to be denied or ignored. If you have depression, It is a part of your psyche that you treat in one of a myriad of ways, but never completely get rid of. You can keep it under control, you can keep it at bay, but you cannot just eliminate it and have it be gone for good. But you can control it instead of letting it control you.

I have been coping with depression for pretty much all of my life. I know there is a chemical imbalance in my system, and I have it under control more often than not. But we all have moments, we all have triggers that will set us off, that will tip the balance and take away control. Even the best antidepressants can only do so much when that happens.

How are positivity and depression linked together? Because focusing on positivity gives me a light at the end of the tunnel. It makes a place where the darkness that is bouts of depression seems escapable, and where you can find hope and reasons to work through it and return to balance.

I’ve written about many tools we can employ to build positivity. Well working to build positivity is an excellent means to work your way out of depression as well. Expressing gratitude can build positivity as well as pull us out of the discontent depression brings on. Using attitude shifters employed to build positivity can draw us out of that unsettled state and help return us to balance. Knowing there is hope and that there are positive things to be focused on can show us ways to get out of that unhappy state.

You are not alone. We are so very many who are fighting the same battle, wrestling the same demons and working with those same struggles, and we are in this together. That is a positive. I know how alone depression feels, I know how hopeless it can seem – but I also know that it is a temporary state, and that I can move beyond it and find positivity in a myriad of things.

I accept that I will sometimes succumb to depression, and I’ll berate myself and I will curl up in a ball on the couch for a while and shut out the world. But I also know that there are numerous good and positive things out there, and that I can get through this and find them again. I also know that I am not alone, and that we all have the strength and the mindpower to overcome this state and to see that there is always new possibilities, and positive things that will make me feel ok again.

I know this can seem impossible. I know how much this feeling can suck. I also know that we are capable of amazing things, and that we can and we will be ok. The actions of seeking positivity can work as a natural antidepressant.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that bouts of depression happen even when you work to be positive, you can see how to overcome them. When we know that employing tools to find positivity also can fight depression, we can use the same tools to empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred sixth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 214

Even when you are actively Pathwalking, there are responsibilities you cannot just ignore.

I can imagine how some people may see the idea of Pathwalking as slacking. Choosing the thing you want to do over the things you should be doing – but that could not be further from the truth.

There is still responsibility and accountability when it comes to Pathwalking. In fact, I could even argue that that is what it is all about.

This week I am posting late. Normally this is out there for you to read early in the morning, because that is the deadline I set for myself. Every Wednesday morning, without fail, for over four years now. Yet this week it’s coming out late.

No, I am accountable to no one but myself when it comes to this blog. I set the deadlines, I set the goals, I do all of the work in placing this out there and maintaining it. I am accountable to nobody but myself and my readers.

Yet it still matters very much to me that this be done every week, around the same time. I don’t like when I post it late because I have a goal to meet and the day and approximate timing of these posts is something I take as seriously as any other responsibilities in my life.

However, that being said – sometimes you have things you must do that cannot be avoided, that are also on deadlines that trump what you have planned. This is where it’s entirely possible to be traveling upon more than one path at a time and they might intersect.

So now what do you do?

This is why while it is really useful to be able to multitask, it is also very important to be able to prioritize. When your paths and responsibilities intersect you have to choose which to travel and contend with.

I am still walking a path of my choosing because I am the one making the choices about how to walk that path, and what responsibilities I need to take care of now and what I can delay. Today, unfortunately it was this post that got delayed.

I had a meeting I needed to attend. It was early, and I did not get out of bed early enough to write a post for this week. Yes, I often try when I know this is going to be my situation to write the post ahead. Unfortunately, I was too tired last night to come up with a good topic to write about.

Yes, if you ever wanted to see a glimpse into the inner workings of my brain, this does usually take on a topical bent the directly correlates with immediate happenings in my world. When I write about this journey what I intend to write comes out entirely based on what I need to explore for myself.

This is about responsibility. I have been maintaining my new goal log for a month, and one of those goals is to get to the gym at least twice a week. Since the meeting I attended this morning happened to be in the town where my gym is located, I took advantage and went there.

This week’s Pathwalking topic is late because I had to take a look at my total responsibilities for this morning and choose which took priority. I went to my meeting and then the gym and then worked to put this out there.

Pathwalking is not about denying responsibilities or accountabilities, it is about choosing them. I am choosing what I am responsible for, and being accountable for these things at the same time.

Certainly there are things I would prefer not to deal with. We all have bills, we all have obligations because we made choices – and we as such are responsible for seeing them through.

This is about choosing for yourself. Even when those choices involve things you don’t want but have to do, you get to choose to be accountable and responsible and you do them.

I thoroughly believe the world would be a much, much better place if more people were responsible and accountable. How often is blame cast for problems, how frequently do mistakes get swept under the rug, how many times do we look to higher powers to solve our issues rather than be accountable for them ourselves?

All you have to do is look at many examples of American government and elements of our corporate culture. Nobody takes responsibility for anything, and they certainly don’t care to be accountable either. It’s all about blame, it’s all about pushing away responsibility and accountability. Can you imagine just how much these entities could do for the world if they just acted responsibly instead of in their own very selfish interests?

Pathwalking doesn’t get you out of being responsible and accountable for your actions, your plans, your paths in life. It is about taking control, making active choices and as such taking on the responsibility for your own destiny and accountability for how you live your life.

Are you accountable for who you are and what you do?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 4:

Diet: I continue tracking what I am eating daily. Still working on keeping with it and sticking to it. Trying to be more cognizant of my choices.

Exercise: Fencing happened twice last week, and a lot of walking, but I did not get to the gym at all. Still need to exercise more.

Writing: Only got in a day’s worth. I need to put more time in my writing.

Onwards and forwards!

 

This is the two-hundred fourteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Resist the Hate

Don’t let the haters win.

Hatred is usually based in fear. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of things and beliefs and ideas that are different. Hate is an extreme emotion that fearmongers love to employ in order to gather followers and to taint viewpoints for their own gain.

Yes, the ludicrously long election cycle in America is about to get more focused, and a lot of what has already proceeded this is a ton of hatred, fear, words to inspire terror and hopelessness and anger to drive people to vote from a dangerously unstable emotional space. But we have the power to not let this be the dominant force of change – we can use positivity to take a different, proactive stand.

Yes, this thing may appear to be a huge, insurmountable juggernaut. How can I have any effect on that awfulness? By working towards finding positivity, and by looking at all the great and positive things in our lives. When we focus on the positives and give that our energy and attention we always find more.

Once we start to see and experience more positivity, we experience more good feelings, which can lead us more to happiness and joy. When we become empowered by these feelings, we have more ability to inspire and empower others.

The hardest part is to not give in to the haters. It is really stunningly easy to fall into hating the haters, and with that continue to build on that same negative energy. Division is what they want, and we need to work harder to unify and share more than divide and take.

Before you share that inflammatory article about how tremendously awful that guy is, try instead to find a positive article about someone you support. Instead of feeding the hate by hating the haters, let’s work on redirecting this conversation and draw more attention to the good, to the things we want instead of the things that we don’t want.

I know that this may come across as sort of crunchy-granola hippy-dippy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still a good and valid idea. Do you like the feelings that the haters make you feel? I know that I don’t. I would much rather feel good, feel positive, feel like we live in a world where we have hope and possibility instead of fear and nothing but terror and destruction.

Let’s try to find positivity wherever we can. Instead of trying to best the haters at their own game, let’s change the game to one that more people want to play.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that hating the haters only creates more negativity, we can choose to change the message and be supportive of views that are positive. When seek out and work more on sharing positives than negatives we build up more good feelings, and from this we empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 213

What do you do if the path you are on crumbles beneath your feet?

First – yes, this can happen. While Pathwalking is something that you control there are always factors that can have a direct impact on your chosen path that you have no control over.

Perfect example – your job. Whether you work for yourself or for someone else, the job you choose to work is a part of the path you are walking.

One of my goals has been to find a job that I enjoy, doing things that make me happy and working with people I like to spend my time with. I have considered several self-employment options (besides writing, which I would certainly like to be doing full-time) but I would be happy to find an ideal job option.

I frequently bring up that consciousness creates reality. So it came as no surprise to me that I found what I believed to be the job I had most wanted to create. It was the kind of space I wanted to work in, people I was enjoying working with. The job I was doing was something I really wanted to do, and it was located exactly where I wanted to be working. I did it – I manifested the job I always wanted.

I was excited that I did it. I was started as a temp, and I really thought this was going to be what I wanted.

And then it wasn’t. Unexpected tension, unwanted stress, and though I worked to correct these matters – just as quick as the seemingly perfect job manifested it was gone.

I manifested what I wanted. I have a description of this job that I had written down a couple years ago, and it was about eighty-five percent dead on accurate to what I had. I really thought that, hey, I am making the path I want. Go me!

Yet just like that, it’s gone. The job is no more, and I stand here on the remains of a path looking around and wondering what happened?

The short answer – this job was not the right job for me. What I did glean from this job is invaluable experience that I can completely and totally take with me to something bigger and better. I learned several hugely important things, and massively updated a certain skill set that I can totally market into new employment.

The long answer – this is just another example of life happens. Everything changes, and there are any number of factors you work with that are beyond your control. I can see this is always one of the reasons to be self-employed – you are your own boss. That of course has its own pitfalls, but that’s not the point of this essay.

What do I do now that the path I chose crumbled away?

I have written before, and will likely write again, that I believe that there are three primary ways to live this life. All three are applicable to this instance.

First – Let life live you. Just go with it. Fine, it happens, flow on. Experience the disappointment, muddle through the awkwardness of losing a job you thought you liked, complain about the unfairness, then push through and accept ANY option available to pay the bills. Just do what society says you should do and so on and so forth.

Second – Curl up in a ball and wait for death. Let go of all hope, let go of all attempts to do anything. Cry, build a pillow fort, wallow in that feeling of failure and inability to succeed. Give up. Stop trying to live life or even let life live you. Don’t resist, just resign yourself to being miserable.

Third – Take control and walk a new path. I am a Pathwalker. I am never on any single path, I am always on several in different aspects of my life. Choose anew. Focus more attention on another path and see what you can draw out. Take the lessons learned and move forward to the next journey.

I will not tear up the perfect job description I wrote out all those years ago. But I will tweak it. I think there may be too much specificity within it, and that is too tight a space for things to manifest within. If you don’t give the universe enough wiggle room it cannot deliver even greater than what you are requesting.

I have done this before. I have manifested things I wanted and needed over the years, and I will continue to do so. I know I can do this, I have made it happen before. This is not a failure, it just taught me to make adjustments so that I have it better next time.

The path is gone that I was walking upon, and while I experienced all the stages of grief and mourned my loss, now I move forward and take the lessons I learned and the new skills I developed and do it better. I will continue to Pathwalk and I will get to the place I most want to be.

This requires faith. This requires me to hope. This requires me to let go of my anger and disappointment and to learn from the experience but not drag the feelings of failure forward. I have done my analysis, I know what worked and what did not, and I will recreate that perfect job description with the needed tweaks and I will be prepared for even better next time.

What do I do if the path I am on crumbles beneath me feet? Step over to the next path and start a new journey.

What will you do if your path ceases to be unexpectedly?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 3:

Diet: I have continued tracking what I am eating daily. Still struggling to stick to it, and I can clearly see I am still not making the best, healthiest choices. Depression and blizzard eating factored into last week, but I see what I need to do to correct it.

Exercise: Fencing happened, but I only hit the gym 1 day last week. However, I spent a day shoveling snow and did a ton of walking, so that was good. Need to exercise more still.

Writing: Still not giving enough time to writing and editing. I need to be less distracted and really sit down more than a couple days here and there and get my writing done.

Winter blahs have set in. Coupled with losing that job, I need to put my game-face on and push ahead and be more focused. All part of the paths I walk.

 

This is the two-hundred thirteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Helping Others

We all need help from time to time. So, too, do other people around us.

The incredible amount of Positivity that comes from helping others is tremendously powerful.

Whether you are lending a hand to a friend or a loved one or a total stranger, the power of giving can create a huge cache of positivity.

There are a couple key things to keep in mind when it comes to giving. First – know the difference between giving and sacrificing. Giving is an open idea, whereas sacrifice is closed. Giving comes from abundance where sacrifice comes from lack. Positive giving should not require you to sacrifice for another.

Second – know the difference between giving because you desire to be helpful and giving in the expectation of reward. When you give because you have plenty and want to share you will generate nothing but positivity. When you give because you expect to receive back something for what you have given, you could actually create negativity if there is disappointment.

Yesterday, following a rather impressive blizzard, I helped several of my neighbors clear snow. I shoveled, I brushed off cars. For a handicapped neighbor I even moved her car for her so the plows could clear the lot. I could have just taken care of our cars and our portion of the lot, but chose to help out my neighbors. No reward, nothing but the positivity of assisting other people around me to ease their burdens.

I was not sacrificing my time, my health, nor anything else in helping. I was offered a reward for helping the one neighbor, but turned it down because I didn’t help her for anything other than to provide assistance.

I am not perfect, I am not holding myself up as any pillar of the community, I just wanted to share this particular example because this is positivity generating help for others.

The third thing to note when it comes to helping other people – be mindful of takers. We all know those people who take and take and take and never show gratitude and never give back. They do as little for themselves as they can, and they try to take a mile for every inch given. I am not suggesting that you don’t give for the sake of giving to these people, just that you be aware that you will receive no thanks and expectation of sacrifice for the other’s sake.

Everybody needs help from time to time. But when you can give help the positivity it builds spreads, and as such builds more positivity.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that giving aid and assistance and helping others can build incredible positivity, we can strive to be helpful. When we give from a place of abundance and expect no reward nor make any sacrifice, we empower those we assist, and further we empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred fourth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Pathwalking 212

I just want to cocoon in my bed.

We all have days like this. No matter how hard we try to find positivity, no matter how much we work to maintain a good head space, nothing seems to work.

I am walking upon the path I have chosen, and despite knowing that there will be bumps and twists and turns and obstacles along the way I am finding negotiating my path particularly challenging. I am being effected by things far out of my control, and having trouble keeping sight of that.

I can do nothing about how other people act and feel. Period. I just can’t. I can converse with them, I can tell them how their actions are making ME feel, but apart from that I have no actual control.

I can do nothing about the national scene. I mean, wow do our politics make me ill. When did we let rhetoric and idiocy so thoroughly overwhelm logic and reason and even polite discourse? It’s very disheartening to give it even the slightest attention.

So here I am, in my own little corner of the world, and I just feel disconnected. I feel as though I am adrift, and I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed.

How do I pull back from this? That’s a good question. That is the point of today’s post. How do I get myself out of this place and back to the level path I prefer to tread?

Let’s start with the root of the problem. Fear. Always comes back to that. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of disappointing those I work for, those I love, but mostly myself. Fear, my old arch-nemesis, rearing its ugly multi-headed visage and distressing me.

I am going to borrow from Frank Herbert, and strive to memorize his Litany Against Fear from Dune.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

I don’t care that this comes from a sci-fi novel, it is still a relevant sentiment. I think a lot of what has held me back over the course of my life is fear. I have written a lot about it, and I continue to struggle to work with it, and not let it control me.

Fear is so bloody powerful. Half our society is controlled by it. It’s a weapon, it is a tool, it is exploited for the purpose of control. We can empower ourselves to not be afraid, and as such to take control of our own lives, our own destinies. That is what Pathwalking is all about.

So commit the Litany to memory, and remember as well that I can overcome fear. In especial this intangible, frankly not tremendously rational fear.

What else have I got in my tool kit? Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz’s Five Agreements.

I need to also commit this to memory, and to employ it regularly. It is so very helpful, so very honest and genuine in its sentiment that it is what I need to keep in mind when I am dealing with forces outside of my control.

Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Be skeptical, but learn to listen.

Wow do I need to take these to heart. In particular 2 and 3. I get flustered in certain dealings with people and need to not take it personally. And meanwhile, from the same dealings, I make wild assumptions about how it’s all going, and as such stress myself out even more.

I don’t need this to interfere with my path. I alone have placed these obstacles in my way. As such, I alone have the tools to remove them.

I have a lot more tools available to me, but last and certainly not least for me today:

“Do or do not – there is no try.” Yes, he was a little green Muppet, but these words are still absolutely full of wisdom. I can’t just try to get out of the cocoon I want to roll myself into – I have to do it. I have to move forward, I have to act. I can get clear of my own head, I can make what I need to have happen, happen for myself.

Some days are a greater challenge than others. That’s just the way it is. These are not just phrases to say, they are concepts to be employed in thought, in emotion and in action to remove and overcome obstacles as I walk my path.

I am up to the challenge. I can do this.

Thanks for coming along for this wild ride.

What do you do when you don’t want to?

 

GOAL LOG – Week 2:

Diet: I have been tracking what I am eating daily. This week was a struggle in diligence, but I am still largely paying closer attention to what I am doing..

Exercise: No fencing last week, but as such I hit the gym three times. Some walking also happened.

Writing: This is the hardest part for me right now. I am experiencing a lack of focus that means neither writing nor editing is happening frequently. One day last week. I need to work more on this.

 

This is the two-hundred twelfth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available in print and for your Kindle.

Positivity: Always something to be Positive about

There is always something to be positive about.

Sometimes you have to look harder than others, but there is always something.

I know there are times when it all seems as though it is for naught. That it is hopeless, and that there is little to no point. Despite this, I maintain there is always something to be positive about.

You are alive. You are here, you are breathing. You have opportunities and options before you. You have a chance to make a difference. You can turn things around.

I think probably everybody goes through at least a brief period where none of the above actually strikes them as positive. Pain, deep sorrow, grief, extreme jealousy and the like can certainly make everything positive seem utterly out of reach.

There is always something to be positive about.

No matter how bad things seem, no matter how much hurt you are experiencing whether physical or emotional, no matter what awful things you might be undergoing, there is still something positive. There are people, there are places, there are things that will make you feel better. You are alive and can turn around this situation. It may take time and effort, but it is still possible.

I recognize that people suffer from depression and anxiety and paranoia and fear in ways that make this statement seem like total bull. There is anger, and deep sadness and a seemingly endless ocean of negative emotions some people are stranded upon or within, and to them it can feel like there is nothing to be positive about.

But there is. There is always something to be positive about. Every day can be different. There will always be new opportunities, new experiences, chances to change it all. I know how hard this can be, I have been there, I have fought the demons of depression and anxiety. I am still fighting them and always will be. Despite that, I know there is always something to be positive about.

Take a minute of your day to find something that makes you feel good. Stand in the sun, play with a dog or cat, watch a video that makes you smile, listen to music, reach out to a friend or loved one. Whatever it takes to help you see that there is ALWAYS something to be positive about.

Don’t give up. I know there are times where that seems the easiest option, but I believe there is always something to be positive about to be found. I believe you can do it, and you can find it. I believe we all can, and we should all help one another to do so.

There is always something to be positive about.

Finding positivity is not hard, it just requires action. Knowing that there is always something to be positive about, we can find solace. When we recognize that no matter how bad things are or might get we can still seek out and find something to be positive about, we empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we often spread that feeling to others around us, and as such can build more positive feelings. We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for. Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred second entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.