M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 53

Positivity is a Steppingstone

Life happens one step at a time. Every instance of positivity is a steppingstone towards improvements.

In the middle of an ongoing pandemic; in the face of uncertainty on almost every imaginable level – we NEED positivity.

Every little bit counts. Why? Because even a moment of positivity can be a steppingstone to improve life.

I know that the notion of the power of “positive thinking” has been wildly abused over the years. When you mention this, or positivity for that matter, it conjures hack phrases. “Just think positive and it’ll all be okay” and “don’t be negative, only be positive” and the like.

But let’s face it – shit happens. Sometimes you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed after a night of little to no sleep. The idea of ignoring and erasing negativity is utterly laughable.

Even with the best attitude and positioning – this is no less true. You can’t not have bad experiences. That’s the nature of life.

BUT – you can choose to soak in them, lament them, let them absorb you – or – you can decide to choose to release them. Let them go. Move on.

Even the tiniest bit of positivity is a steppingstone in that process.

Attitude shifters

More than once, I have written about making use of attitude shifters.

Attitude shifters are things that you can store in your mind to help you feel good.

But – and this is super important – they are not used to “feel good all-the-time.” First – that’s impossible. No matter what all the books and gurus say about the power of positive thinking and all related notions – nobody feels good all the time. Period.

Life is a roller coaster. You will experience exhilarating climbs, terrifying drops, and probably loop-de-loops along the way. But you get to choose how it will impact you.

An attitude shifter is a notion that helps you to alter your state-of-mind at this moment. Its intent and purpose are to shift your mindset/headspace/psyche here and now. It may last a short time – but that short time is enough to help you regain perspective.

Every little bit is a steppingstone to being in a better place when you’re in a bad place.

We live in a society that loves to throw blame around. Don’t be accountable, take no responsibility. It’s all the fault of someone else. For example – look at how Trump blames anyone and everyone for anything he fails at and takes NO responsibility whatsoever. Zero accountability, all blame, all the time.

This is a choice. You can decide if you will be accountable for your part in your negative experiences. How long you hold onto the bad is wholly your decision.

Hence why using attitude shifters to alter your mindset in the moment is empowering. It’s a steppingstone of positivity to improve life.

Attitude shifters include anything that makes you feel good, even for a moment. Cat videos, laughing kids, cookies, warm blankets, and anything else you can think of to stimulate your senses positively.

Positivity is a steppingstone of intent

Because you have the power to alter how you think and feel, positivity is an intentional act. When you make use of attitude shifters, for example, you are laying down the steppingstones of positivity to change your mindset/headspace/psyche.

The other day, I was feeling down because it was grey and gross outside. Also, it was cold. I was feeling bad and frustrated by feeling like I wasn’t doing all I could to advance my life. That sets up a downward spiral that’s challenging to recover from.

I could have lingered there. But instead, I sat down and started working on my latest novel. Before I knew it, I was in the zone, the ideas were flowing, and I felt much, much better.

I made a choice. Instead of staying in that terrible headspace, I took action to move out of it.

Once I did stop working, I admit I returned part-way to the bad headspace I had been in. But it was not the same, and I didn’t let it dominate the rest of my day.

Positivity is an action that can be naught but a steppingstone away from feeling bad. Yes, sometimes it is going to feel forced – but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Every thought and feeling you have can be changed. I know it doesn’t always feel like this is true – but it is. No matter what you are thinking or what and how you are feeling you can change it.

Why? Because there’s nobody in your head but you. Even when shit happens and life gets massively fucked up, you can still choose how it impacts you.

Mindfulness and positivity

Mindfulness is awareness, here and now, of your conscious self. This is how you know what you are thinking, what and how you’re feeling, actions you’re taking, and the intentions behind them.

When things go wrong – and they will – you might feel awful. Life will sometimes make you think terrible things. But you have the power to decide how long you think and feel that way. Mindfulness is how you pull yourself out of it.

You need to experience negativity. Plain and simple, it’s unavoidable and necessary. Life is yin and yang, and while we mostly live between all given extremes – experiencing them is how we grow, learn, change, and LIVE.

Okay, all that being written, positivity is a steppingstone you can lay down to move out of a negative headspace. Attitude shifters, change of venue, distractions, and many other factors can be used to get you away from bad thoughts and feelings.

Too many people allow themselves to be focused on the negative. And that’s where we tend to get it wrong. Yes, you can, will, and should have negative experiences in life. But you get to choose how long you hold onto them, allow them to dominate and impact you – or to release them, let them go, and move on.

Every bit of positivity you can find and/or create is a steppingstone to moving on. Hence why positivity need not be an all-the-time permanent fixture of your life.

But it is important.

Consciousness creates reality

If you choose to live in the negative; when you decide that life is just shit and you are powerless to change it; when all you see is bad things – that’s what you manifest.

Like the law of gravity, the law of attraction doesn’t care if you believe in it or not. It’s there and in action. Feel down, think badly, and more things will manifest to continue to power that.

Positive energy is more powerful than negative. And that’s part of why even tiny amounts can be sufficient to alter your overall mindset/headspace/psyche.

But this is a choice. You get to decide how you spend any given day. When you have a bad day – and you will – you decide how bad it will be. You choose to wallow in it – or find a way out of it. Positivity is a steppingstone in and of itself to build a path out of the bad and unwanted places life takes us.

Life happens one step at a time. Every instance of positivity is a steppingstone towards improvements in your life experience.

Using positivity as a steppingstone isn’t hard

But it requires mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intent.

Knowing that positivity is a steppingstone, and can be that minimal, you can use this to find and/or create new paths to leave bad things behind when they threaten to overwhelm you. When you see that even small amounts of positivity can change your life by letting you take control, that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that can spread to people around you. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity.

You build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of your life for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of immense positivity. That positivity can generate even more good energies – and that, like you, is always worthwhile. You are worthy and deserving of all the good you desire.

This is the three-hundred and fifty-seventh entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

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The post Positivity is a Steppingstone appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why This Path?

Exploring why this path is the right path and what that means.

Nobody has one single path they will take in their lifetime.

You will choose more than one path along the way. This occurs for multiple reasons.

At different times in your life, you’ll desire different things. What you desire as a child is likely not what you desire as a teen. The things you desire change as you grow and change.

When I started college, I wanted to work in professional theatre. Most of all, what I desired to do was direct and produce. But as I looked more closely at what living the theatre life involved, the desire faded.

Also, during college, I wanted to work in professional radio. I loved being a DJ on the college stations. Additionally, I handled production management and created PSAs and other recordings that went out all day. The college station was so popular in town that I developed minor celebrity status of a sort.

But when I couldn’t land a steady radio job in a low market in Upstate New York, I lacked the drive to go farther out into the boonies for work, too. This desire also faded.

In my 20s and into my mid-30s, I desired very much to be a father. However, I had some pretty massive commitment issues, and couldn’t get comfortable enough to sustain a relationship where that might be the intended result. When I finally got into a real, honest, steady relationship in my late-30’s, the desire to be a father had passed.

Three paths once desired, all abandoned. But that’s how life unfolds.

But not all paths fade.

This has been a lifelong pursuit

When I was nine-years-old I hand-wrote and illustrated a 50-page sci-fi novel called Wildfire. I put my heart and soul into this work, and even tried to get it published. But that was a pipedream, and it wasn’t all that great as books go.

(Also, I really do think a child psychologist may have had a field day with me and my psyche. Given that in my story the kids rebel and end up killing all the adults, one has to wonder, right?)

At 13, I typed my first 36-page single-spaced sci-fi book. The Secret Computer World was a Tron rip-off, admittedly (it WAS 1984, and yes, I liked Tron!) Still, it was a work of sci-fi more derivative and original than ripped-off and written wholly for pleasure.

When I was 17, I took a creative writing class in High School. When the teacher gave the standard write-what-you-know speech, I ignored it and wrote a technothriller. (Yes, I was reading Tom Clancy novels like eating potato chips at the time.) But the teacher was so wowed by Secrets Revealed that I won an award for it.

I would write in fits and starts for the next decade or so, largely abandoning this calling for others (theatre, radio, dating, etc.) Then, in 1998 or so, I started writing what would become The Source Chronicles series. This was high fantasy, though easily targeted to Young Adults fourteen and up.

Slowly, it dawned on me that this lifelong pursuit was the path I had desired to take all along. This path has always been before me, and now I was choosing to walk it.

To be fair, I was only beginning to consider it. The notion of Pathwalking and practicing my philosophy was still to come.

This path, that path – why a path?

Humans tend to perceive and measure time linearly. Day to day, year to year, birth to death, etc. Despite what brilliant minds have told us about the truth of time, this is the dominant measure used for it in our society.

As Albert Einstein said,

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”

If you are going to focus on the linear, then the notion of moving from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’ comes naturally.

Life, in my experience, comes in three pre-set primary options. They look like this:

Let life live you. Do the routine. Exist, survive, take what you can get. Minimal effort, minimal return.Curl-up in a ball and await death. Complain about everything. See little to no good. Focus on the negative. Pray for an afterlife but ignore life itself in the process.Take life for a ride. Make choices and decisions. Look for or create potential and possibility. Act on ideas.

I find that most people choose option 1. And I have made that choice many times, too. But I also find that if you let life live you, you cede control and lessen potential, possibility, and finding and/or creating experiences.

To take life for a ride is a matter of taking control. That ride, like any drive, hike, or flight, is a path you take.

Life is full of paths. Even when you let life live you, you are on a path of one sort or another. If you desire the slightest semblance of control, you choose the path to take.

The Philosophy of Pathwalking is what came of this notion. In summation, this is conscious reality creation borne of mindfulness.

Mindfulness and this path

What is mindfulness? It’s super simple. It is you. More specifically, it’s your mindset/headspace/psyche, underlying psychology and make-up, as well as your beliefs and habits. On the surface, it’s your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Modern society tends to steer you away from being mindful. This is for several reasons, not the least of which is control, power, and consumerism.

Mindful people are harder to manipulate because they are more proactive than reactive. Reactive people buy out of fear, beliefs in lack and scarcity, and how it makes them look to the outside world.

This path – whatever that looks like for you – is a choice for conscious reality creation. It’s employing the third option of taking life for a ride and striving to do, be, and have more. Whatever this path is, for you, is about you – and not being a sheeple manipulated by the mysterious (and not so mysterious) social forces of the world.

To practice mindfulness, you start by being more aware and conscious, right now, of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That awareness puts you in touch with the deeper depths of who you are and shows you if a path you are on is one you’ve chosen – or are simply walking out of expectation.

This is available to all – but not for everyone. That’s because there are people perfectly content to let life live them. Also, some people are unwilling to do anything but curl up in a ball and await death. You, and you alone, know what is right and best for yourself.

My path is not your path. But there are abundant, infinite paths available to all. Choosing any to walk is a matter of deciding that you desire to go somewhere in life and have control over what that looks like.

What does this path look like for you?

This is the four-hundred and sixty-seventh exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is availablehere. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.Name *FirstLastEmail *CommentSubmit

The post Why This Path? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Breaking New Ground

Intentional change is a matter of breaking new ground.

Every day is a new day.

Cliché, right? That doesn’t make it any less true. Every single day of your life is different from the day before.

To be fair, many days are similar. But that doesn’t mean they’re the same. Because they aren’t.

It has taken me a long time to reconcile this. For years, I was always looking ahead from today to tomorrow – while also chewing on past indiscretions, mistakes, missteps, and other similar experiences.

While some days are similar to the day before – others are wholly new and different. Those are the days where you forge ahead and have new experiences.

This can occur on every level of your life that you can imagine. From personal life to work life to family life, change is the only constant in the Universe.

Some you have little to no control over. I can’t make anyone else do, think, or feel in any way. I can make suggestions and offer opinions – but the only one inside my head is me. Likewise, the only one inside your head is you.

But there are changes over which you have control. While some are subtle and just a matter of mindfulness – others require large steps out of comfort zones and the familiar.

In other words – they require breaking new ground.

Choices, decisions, mindfulness

You have choices and decisions to make all the time. From the moment you wake up until you go to bed, you are making choices.

For example, you choose when to wake up, what you will do after that, what route (if any) to take to work, calls to make, distractions, and so on. Constant, almost endless choices. And yes, many are relatively subconscious.

Decisions, on the other hand, take a little more thought to them. A decision is more set than a choice, in that it is more actionable. For example, choosing to go into the kitchen and make breakfast has direction, but still requires more. Deciding to go into the kitchen and pour a bowl of cereal is much more actionable. Done and done.

Conscious choices and decisions are a matter of mindfulness. Mindfulness is awareness of your mindset/headspace/psyche and overall being. To gain access to that, you need to be conscious and aware, in the now, of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Knowing what you are thinking, how and what you are feeling, options for actions, and intent behind those, you gain insight into yourself. That makes it possible to make choices and decisions for your life.

Some days this is easier than others. When I woke up this morning it was nasty, rainy, and generally icky. While it was super tempting to roll over and go back to bed, I chose to get up and decided to go sit and do my morning reading.

Recognizing the power of choices, decisions, and mindfulness helps you be capable of breaking new ground in your life to welcome and drive change.

What does breaking new ground look like?

Any change that will have an impact on broader aspects of your life is a matter of breaking new ground.

This might include:

Starting a new jobGetting into a new relationshipMoving to a new homeRelocating to a new cityMoving in with a loverEnding a relationshipQuitting a jobStarting a new businessEnding a friendshipHaving a childAdopting a pet

There are many, many more possibilities here. But all of these, and other matters akin to them, require breaking new ground.

The difference is likened to architecture, in that all these sorts of changes begin with new foundations. You create new bases upon which you are living an aspect or aspects of your life. Like any construction project, this requires breaking new ground.

This can and will take different forms. Sometimes you start shoveling. Other times, you rent a backhoe. And sometimes explosives are employed in breaking new ground.

How this occurs will vary. It may be a slow build or a sudden change. But it tends to be a mindfully made choice or decision to drive change in your life.

Why bother? Because change is inevitable. And you have three choices for how to approach your life. Let it happen and just go with it; curl up in a ball, whine, kvetch, and await death; grab hold and take it for a ride. Breaking new ground is intentional and is the practice of grabbing hold of life and taking it for the ride.

What if you get it wrong?

You might. Plain and simple, you might screw this up. Years ago, I had a good, stable, decently paying job. It was boring, and the hours sucked. But the pay and benefits were good.

An opportunity for a new job came to me. It was very uncertain, but I thought it would be better hours, far more money, and more exciting. So, I quit the stable but unfulfilling job and took the new one.

A week later, I realized I had chosen poorly. I left the new job and returned to a reliable job option that, while I loved it, paid rather poorly. But I was happier with what I was doing and wiser from the experience.

I won’t even get into my old dating history – but talk about numerous missteps, wrong choices, and other issues that kept my life – well, let’s simply say, interesting.

But you will get it wrong. That’s because, as a human being, you are perfectly imperfect. Today’s good decision is tomorrow’s poor choice. It happens, and it happens to everyone.

So why bother breaking new ground? Because change is constant and taking life for a ride means you choose and decide on bold changes that will have an impact. You might succeed or you might fail. But if you don’t do it, and you never break new ground, then you can’t succeed in the slightest, can you?

We all know people who don’t choose or decide on much of anything. Breaking new ground? No, they just let life live them or are awaiting death. But when you recognize all the potential and possibility that your life has – breaking new ground is an action to create an experience. Good or bad, growth comes of experience – and that’s what ultimately makes me, me – and makes you, you.

Breaking new ground isn’t hard

But it requires mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intent to understand the inherent positivity of this.

Knowing that breaking new ground is a choice and a decision for action, you gain control over change that will impact your life experience. It may be good, or it may be bad, but it will be an experience full of potential and possibility. When you choose to break new ground, you take control over change and decide to take life for a ride to see where it might take you. And that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that can spread to people around you. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity.

You build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of your life for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of immense positivity. That positivity can generate even more good energies – and that, like you, is always worthwhile. You are worthy and deserving of all the good you desire.

This is the three-hundred and fifty-sixth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive a free eBook.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.Name *FirstLastEmail *PhoneSubmit

The post Breaking New Ground appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What is Situational Awareness?

Situational awareness is the knowledge of others and how they impact you and vice versa.

As much as I love fencing and one-on-one combat, I have an equal love for melee combat.

Melee combat, for those unfamiliar with the concept, involves combat between two or more fighters against like or greater numbers. The dynamics of combat change dramatically when the numbers increase.

Tactics for two-on-two differ from one-on-one. Now multiply that by a LOT. Tactics for dozens versus dozens are much more complex (and at these numbers you must consider overall strategy and tactics for small groups within them).

Other factors include what sort of situation for combat you’re in. Fighting in an open field is very different from a broken field or a bridge or in the woods.

One on one combat or melee combat, situational awareness must be taken into consideration.

Terrain and where others are will impact both types of combat. If you watch almost any movie fight scene you will see examples of using the space to your advantage (i.e. fighting in a bar, someone grabs a bottle or a chair to attack or defend themselves.) Knowing what you have to work with during any sort of combat can make the difference between victory and defeat.

This, of course, applies to lots of real-life matters, too. When you drive, you can’t just pay attention to the road. You need to be situationally aware of the cars on the road with you, traffic lights, weather issues, and numerous other factors that can impact your trip and getting to your destination.

Situational awareness in life is part of mindfulness and conscious reality creation.

Know the path you are on

When you go for a walk you may or may not be completely aware of all the aspects of the path you take.

If it’s a nice, clean, paved path you are likely to just walk. Of course, you need to check to makes sure you are remaining on the path. There are times you need to dodge poop or a slick pile of leaves or a puddle.

When you hike in the woods or in rocky terrain you need to be differently aware of your path. Now you must watch for things that could trip you up, injure your limbs and joints, and if you’re ascending or descending taking more consideration for your breathing and stamina.

We all know people who walk through life literally and figuratively blind. They don’t see what is going on around them. Sometimes this has to do with themselves – but mostly we notice it regarding their disregard.

Situational awareness accounts for other people you encounter on your literal or figurative path. Humans are social creatures. With few exceptions, we live among others.

If you are constantly bumping into people or knocking them down – unintentionally – you may lack situational awareness. It could be a result of insufficient attention without, too tight a focus within, or just inattention.

The Philosophy of Pathwalking cannot be practiced without situational awareness. When it lacks, you may find yourself impacting others unintentionally and causing future issues that, with situational awareness, could have been avoided.

Hence, knowing the path you are on in life is not just about you. Situational awareness takes in the overall big picture to prevent accidents, blind stumbling, and lessen potential hurt to yourself and others.

Literal situational awareness

We have all encountered people who lack situational awareness.

My current neighbors upstairs seem to be utterly unaware that we live below them. They step heavily, have a child who jumps a lot, and either blatantly or blindly ignore that we live down here – and they make a lot of noise.

This is a choice. Ignoring situational awareness leads to disagreements, confrontations, hurt feelings, and other negatives.

For example – smokers. Some smokers are very conscientious of nonsmokers. They choose to smoke in places where they will have little to no impact on everyone else.

Yet we all have encountered smokers who will blatantly disregard you, blow smoke in your face, and assert their “rights” to smoke where and how they please.

A very unfortunate current example – holiday travel. We are in the middle of an out-of-control pandemic. Yet, rather than do the smart thing, isolate and stay home, tons of people are going to gather with families and fly all over the country to do that. Given how many asymptomatic carriers of COVID-19 have been the epicenter of the spread – this is a serious lack of situational awareness.

You are not an island unto yourself. The things you do impact other people. Being aware of this is situational awareness.

Figurative situational awareness

This is the intangible aspects that exist in everyday life.

For example, let’s say I decided to get in my car, abandon everyone and everything, and drive west to start my life completely over. This might be massively beneficial to me – but it will have an impact on other people in my life.

My wife would be displeased (to put it mildly) if I just took off. There would be hurt feelings among family and friends that I up and left without any regard for them. Creditors would come after me for unpaid debts. Issues from responsibilities I drop would impact others.

Situational awareness is the recognition of this. Just because I am striving to live the best life I can for myself doesn’t mean I do so in a vacuum. I count on certain people and things – and they, in turn, count on me.

This is where The Secret and the Law of Attraction can get abused. The lack of situational awareness on the part of those attempting to consciously create reality in one way or another will impact others. Nobody lives in a vacuum, and though the impact may be tiny it can spread in unexpected ways.

For more understanding of how that works, look up chaos theory and the Butterfly Effect.

Also – you cannot force others to YOUR way of thinking. You can’t make other people’s reality for them. For example, watch Trump and his supports trying to force their will on the election results.

Just because I can’t think, feel, nor act for anyone else – and I can’t make anyone do what I want them to – doesn’t mean I can ignore them, either. Everything I do has an impact. Situational awareness can clarify what this could be.

Self-care is not selfish

I state this a lot because people massively misunderstand what selfishness IS. Doing things for your own good is not selfish. Selfish is knowing that what you are doing will cause harm.

Admittedly, if you abandon people in your life to start a new life that knowingly causes harm. But this is where intent comes into play. The harm you’ve caused is hurt feelings, lost connections, and similar intangibles. It sucks a lot and will be massively uncomfortable.

Yet this still differs from selfish intentional harm. Selfish intentional harm is taking more than your share knowing you leave others without. Or running away and abandoning people, such as in my earlier example.

For example, it’s a person or company hoarding billions of dollars just to show off their “wealth” and make their few shareholders feel good – rather than having more than enough for themselves while helping those who work for them live more comfortably.

Situational awareness helps you recognize the line between harm that may occur resulting from changes you make and intentional harm. When people care about you – and you care about them – anything you do to change yourself could impact them negatively.

But that’s not on you. That’s on them. But if all you do is be who you think people want you to be – and in the process lose yourself or be untrue to who you are – you miss out.

Look, we each get one chance, in these meat suits, to live this one life. Taking that into account, you need to choose and decide what that looks like for you.

Situational awareness is the knowledge of others and how they impact you and vice versa. When you choose a path for your life, it’s the recognition of how others will be impacted by it.

How conscious and aware of the people and things around are you?

This is the four-hundred and sixty-sixth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.Name *FirstLastEmail *MessageSubmit

The post What is Situational Awareness? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Stay Home and Share Thanks Apart

It may feel negative, but the positivity of choosing to stay home and share thanks is immeasurable.

Here in the United States, Thanksgiving is coming up. This holiday kicks off the season since it is immediately followed by mass consumerism leading up to Christmas.

This year has been one of the most difficult for virtually everyone I know. Between the ongoing pandemic, a contentious Presidential election that the loser refuses to concede, and continued uncertainty stemming from both – the holidays are going to be weird.

For a lot of people, traditions are hugely important. Family gatherings for Thanksgiving and Christmas (and Hanukkah, if you’re Jewish) tend to be long-time annual affairs nobody wants to forgo.

However, this is 2020. And we must recognize that the norm is just not going to work this year. Rather than put loved ones at risk – it’s wiser to pass on the gatherings.

Yes, I know that sucks. Yes, I recognize that it breaks tradition and keeps families apart. But that’s a short-term problem. Getting together this year with your family may lead to it being the last year you get to do so.

COVID-19 isn’t gone. In fact, it is worse than it’s ever been before. The best thing we can do is isolate and NOT visit friends and family for the holidays.

Genuine kindness and real gratitude should lead you to the conclusion that the risk is not worth it. Why endanger the people you love for a traditional gathering?

COVID-19 is something lots of people think happens to other people. It’s a pandemic that may soon have a vaccine – but not before it kills potentially hundreds of thousands of more people.

I do not desire to focus on the negative with this. That’s not my point. My point is that to truly express love, gratitude, and kindness this season – stay home.

Humans need social interaction

Every year, my sister hosts Thanksgiving dinner. My wife and I contribute a couple of dishes, as does my stepmother. She and my father, as well as my mom and stepfather, all attend Thanksgiving together. Often a friend of my sister’s or my wife and I join us – or are invited to join us.

Back in October, we decided to stay home this year. My wife and my parents are all in high-risk groups for various reasons. Rather than gathering together, we’re keeping apart.

And yes, this sucks. But I would rather stay home and share thanks apart than get together and potentially lose someone from the celebration next year.

Many believe the lie that the press has made this pandemic much worse than it is. I have lost 3 people to COVID-19 this year. And don’t argue semantics – often it is the impact OF the coronavirus that causes another issue to kill a person. They still would likely have survived if they’d not been exposed.

The meaning of Thanksgiving has gotten muddied over the years. Let’s face it, the Pilgrims destroyed the Native Americans that helped them over time – and today their ancestors are generally not treated well.

Setting that aside, however (not disregarding – setting it aside for a different point) giving thanks and expressing gratitude is incredibly empowering.

One of the things I am grateful for most are the people in my life. I miss them terribly right now. Yet, as much as I would love to uphold family traditions and see them – I don’t want to risk them in the process.

This applies to friends and family. While not seeing them feels negative – the truth is it’s a matter of positivity.

Stay home and share thanks apart

I recognize that using Google Meet, Zoom, Skype, or Facebook’s tools to get together with family is not the same as actually being with them. But it’s a lot safer and kinder.

Is it so important that you travel and risk exposure to spend an evening or a weekend with the people you love? Is it worth it if that trip causes you to get sick, potentially die, and/or kill one of them? Yes, that’s harsh, I know – but it’s the reality of living in the middle of an out-of-control pandemic.

I want to not only give thanks with and for the people I love this year – but next year, and as many years as possible going forward. The risk is too high to not stay home and share thanks apart.

Those who are screaming about violations of civil liberties and other conspiracies regarding the pandemic are being selfish. Not wearing a mask in public is selfish. This time of the year is supposed to be more kind, courteous, and selfless.

If you are healthy and desire to stay that way – stay home. The more people who are out and about, the more the virus can and will continue to spread.

So how is this positivity? Because amid all the selfish acts we are also seeing people at their best. We have a unique opportunity to be kind, express gratitude, and protect ourselves and the people we love.

A Zoom meeting Thanksgiving can bring families together from greater distances a lot cheaper than flights and long drives. If your family is scattered all over the country or all over the world, it’s easy to get online and come together.

No, you can’t hug. But that’s a small price to pay to be able to do so in the future.

Giving thanks for the little things

There are so very many things that I am grateful for. Tangible and intangible, I have a lot of things for which I feel gratitude.

As mentioned before, my friends and family. There are so many amazing people in my life, and I am truly grateful for that. The things I call my own – the roof over my head, my car, the electronics that let me share with you and tell and share stories from fantastical worlds. My overall health, and the freedom I enjoy to pursue my goals.

Then there are the everyday little bits for which I am monumentally grateful. My eyes, my hearing, my senses of touch, taste, and smell, my empathic strengths. The sun and moon, the purrs and meows of my cats. All of these everyday things in my life I am so, so very grateful for.

You, no doubt, have similar tangibles and intangibles you are grateful for. To be able to maintain that gratitude now and in the future, and to allow those you love to do so as well, be smart this holiday season. I know it hurts, but it’s better, in the long run, to take the immediate pain and inconvenience for the long-term benefits.

Stay home and share thanks apart.

It’s easy to stay home and share thanks apart

But it requires mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intent to understand the inherent positivity of this action.

Knowing that the risk to yourself and others is high, you can protect yourself and those you love by a simple choice. When you choose to stay home and share thanks apart, you are expressing enormous love and gratitude for yourself and everyone you care about. And that ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that can spread to people around you. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity.

You build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of your life for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of immense positivity. That positivity can generate even more good energies – and that, like you, is always worthwhile. You are worthy and deserving of all the good you desire.

This is the three-hundred and fifty-fifth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive a free eBook.

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The post Stay Home and Share Thanks Apart appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

A Change of Perspective

While my perspective has changed throughout my life, I still need a change of perspective today.

It is all too easy to look at what you do not have.

The things that you have not yet accomplished, the ongoing processes and insufficient results, and on and on.

Despite my philosophy and conscious reality creation work, I still find myself looking at what I haven’t got yet.

For example – I’m still not earning the kind of money I believe that I should be via the articles I post to Medium. Despite having an excellent number of followers – my earnings in no way reflect this.

My novels are not earning the kind of money I think they should be. I am not looking to become a bestseller, yet – but earning a reasonable living off my work shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Let’s call a spade a spade. While money isn’t exactly lacking in my life, the numbers – to be more comfortable and secure – are not what I desire for them to be. This tends to be a regular source of stress and occasional strife in my life.

But this focus on lack, scarcity, insufficiency, and what I do not have doesn’t serve me. In fact, it never has, and it never will.

I know this. Intuitively, instinctually, intellectually, I know this. Hell, I have been writing about this for almost 9 years.

So why is it I get caught up in focusing on what is not here, now?

First, I need to look back at my long-held beliefs and life experiences of the past. Then, work here and now on changing my perspective. That will best drive me towards my desired goals for the future.

Join me, and let’s gain some perspective here.

A look back for knowledge

Too many people look to the past to define the future. But by-and-large the past is just that – past. That’s not to say there aren’t tons of worthwhile learning experiences therein. It just cannot be restored in either the present or the future.

Okay, that’s out of the way. Let me share how I got where I am now.

When I was 5 my parents divorced. Soon after, my dad moved halfway across the country. My mom raised my sister and me – and she did an amazing job.

She instilled in me courtesy, the need to say please and thank you, and tons of other important life lessons to help me be a good person in the world.

However, unintentionally, she also instilled in me ideas about how money works that would embed themselves deeply.

For example, my mom pushed me to use my intelligence to pursue traditional money-making careers. Doctor, lawyer, business mogul, etc. At the same time, she talked a lot about how we didn’t have enough money on our side of the family – but the other side of the family were selfish and didn’t share their money as freely as she believed that they should.

Hence, I developed a desire to have money – but guilt about it at the same time. Money, I believed, makes a person more worthy and deserving of a good life – but at the same time doesn’t make good people.

Hence, as an adult, I have a particularly complicated relationship with money. Despite working with the Law of Attraction, I excel at sending mixed signals. I draw it to me and repel it simultaneously.

And of course, I chose nothing traditional in my approach to work.

Shifting my perspective – still looking back

Note – I am in no way blaming my mom for anything here. Yes, she provided the template upon which I imprinted my own beliefs – but that’s just how these things happen. Now, as an adult, blame fixes nothing – it’s all on me to change or not.

Right. Moving on.

After college, I was incredibly indecisive. While there was a vague notion of what I wanted for my life, I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Half-assed pursuit of a couple of career paths ensued, but hardly even rocked the boat of the comfort zone I had established via my friendships. So, instead, I bounced between jobs, and homes, and relationships.

Throughout my 20s and 30s, I dated quite a few women, held around 10 different jobs and lived in 4 or 5 different places. I was terrified of settling in case I got it wrong.

Back then I was seldom calm, high-strung, often worried, and seldom – if ever – Zen about anything at all. As I tell people who did not know me back then – you missed nothing good.

After getting hit by a car crossing a street – and the year of recovery from that – when I was 27, for the first time I began to explore a change of perspective. Almost becoming permanently disabled will do that to you.

Yet it wasn’t until I worked with the best therapist I’ve ever seen, in my mid-30s, that I began to REALLY alter my perspective. That led to being calmer, less worried about life overall, more Zen, and working less on being who I thought people wanted me to be – and to be who I desired to be.

Just beginning the process changed my life thoroughly.

A change of perspective – then to now

The therapist from my mid-30s helped me to gain a viewpoint on my beliefs and how they formed long, long ago. It was like nothing I had ever done before. This led to me beginning to release crap I had been carrying needlessly for years and to stop living for other people and start living for me.

Specifically, I stopped trying to be who and what I thought others wanted me to be. Instead, I began to work on being who and what I wanted to be.

In my late 30s, I began to focus more on this whole writing thing. All my life I loved to write – why was I so scared to go for it and make it into my career? The answer, at the time, was old data, the notions of the arts not paying, and debts that haunted me at the time. Still, I breathed into it and began to shift my perspective and change my approach.

This would lead me to the first completely stable relationship I had ever entered. She was someone I could relate to, who made me a better person – while I believe I helped make her a better person, too. Surprising lots of people who had known me throughout my tumultuous dating habits – she became my wife.

This began the period of my life I’m working from now. I started to write quite a lot more, began to build this philosophy, and expand my practices of conscious reality creation, mindfulness, positivity, and other self-awareness/self-care/self-improvement experiences.

There’s still room for improvement. But that’s always the case because change is the only constant in the Universe.

I am sharing this because I want to show both myself and you that I have done it before. Thus, I can do it again.

Here and now while perpetually in motion

Everything I have read or listened to on the topics of self-improvement and personal growth says the same thing. Be present in the now. Focus on the good not the bad. Focus on abundance, not lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.

See where you are going as though you are there, right now. Don’t put it in the future – put it in the now. Focus on the good, not the bad.

I need to change my perspective and stop looking at what I do not have. To do that, I need to work more on altering some very old, outdated beliefs. I must alter my self-talk. Rather than lament the money I feel I should be earning that I presently haven’t – I need to be talking about the abundance I have.

For example, I am making more than enough money on my writing. My book sales are constantly growing. I do not struggle with money because it is abundant in my life.

A simple change of perspective can make all the difference in being where I desire to be tomorrow by being clearer today. Mindfulness is conscious awareness of who I am, where I am, here and now. That allows me to get from here to there with more clarity.

Change of perspective requires a shift in focus to what I do have rather than what I don’t. It’s a matter of looking at abundance instead of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.

I acknowledge that I have come a long way in this life – and I am in an amazing place now while in motion to unimaginable awesomeness ahead.

When had a change of perspective improved your present and your outlook?

This is the four-hundred and sixty-fifth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.Name *FirstLastEmail *CommentSubmit

The post A Change of Perspective appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why Not Choose Positivity Today?

Today is the day. Choosing positivity consciously creates this fact.

Why is today any more special than yesterday? Because today is the day.

For what? Whatever you choose it to be.

No matter where you have come from or what experience you had yesterday – today is a new day. Ergo, you get to choose how today is going to be.

While this can feel like a trite, overused, hooky-spooky sentiment – that doesn’t make it any less true. Today is not yesterday. It is a new day, and it has potential and possibilities unique to it.

Anticipating a dreadful, awful day is bound to make it so. But on the other hand, if you see the day with potential, possibility, and excitement – that can be how it will go.

Whether or not you believe in the Law of Attraction or conscious reality creation doesn’t impact the reality of them. Like the laws of gravity or motion they are Universe, impartial, and simply are.

No, this cannot and will not impact other people. This is all about you. Trump can believe all he wants that he will remain President despite losing the election. That won’t make it so because he cannot control other people – and change their votes.

This is the biggest misunderstanding of the Law. It applies to only you and your life. It cannot be forced on anyone else and their reality. Sure, to a point you may have drawn of like energies – but without that draw, it won’t be.

Today is the day to reflect on who you are, where you are now and choose where you desire to go.

This is non-toxic

There are far too many examples of toxic positivity and mindfulness in the world. People who are all “la-de-da-do” and blatantly ignoring bad and negative things miss the point.

Bad things happen. That’s because you and I have ZERO control over other people, outside influences, nature, anyone, or anything outside of ourselves.

Control begins and ends with you. Period, end of story. Externally, you can alter your appearance in numerous ways – but internally, you can alter yourself even more.

Mindfulness is not some end-all-be-all utter problem-solving fix. Nor is it a quick-fix ideal. Mindfulness is a constant, regular practice that shows you who you are on every level – which, in turn, opens you to control of that.

On the surface, this starts with your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. You’re the only one inside your head. As such, you’re the only one thinking, feeling, and doing for you. Nobody can make you do anything you do not choose to do.

Once you get beneath the surface level, mindfulness is ultimately awareness of your mindset/headspace/psyche. That which is YOU seeing with your eyes, hearing with your ears, doing with your hands, etc.

Below this layer are the beliefs and habits that have driven you from where you were to where you are to where you are going.

None of these aspects of you are set in stone. Everything about your conscious self is changeable. Hence why today is the day – and you can choose a positive, negative, or neutral disposition.

Let’s talk about neutrality

Some people argue that being neutral opens you to greater options. They will point out that neutrality allows you to stand alone. It empowers you to not be forced into one side or the other – and even allows you to make a choice apart from the opposite extremes.

I don’t disagree with this idea. However, the problem with neutrality is when it leads to indecision or standing for nothing at all.

Let’s look at a contemporary take on a long-ago situation. The musical Hamilton makes a big deal out of Aaron Burr’s unwillingness to choose sides. This inevitably led to Hamilton not supporting his friend when it came to the Presidency – because Jefferson stood for something whereas Burr stood for nothing.

As the line in the show goes,

“If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?”

Neutrality can lead to no position, no stance, and being swayed one way or another – rather than choosing for yourself how to think, feel, and act.

Neutrality easily gives way to indecision.

Lots and lots of people just go with the flow. You know them – they complain about being dissatisfied, unhappy with this, that, or the other thing – and yet when presented options they don’t choose. They remain aloof.

You also know people who choose the negative. They see no solutions, are frequently complaining about other people, see the world as locked and closed off. They have chosen to look on the dark side.

Sure, you can remain neutral – but like a car in neutral, you go nowhere. You need to get in gear for any and all motion.

Today is a new day

Yesterday might have been amazing. A great day of family, fun, and enjoyment. Or, yesterday may have been miserable. Dreary, boring, a day of drudgery and chores and annoyance. And of course, yesterday may simply have been a day. You were in a neutral place, chose nothing, went with the flow.

Everyone has days like the above. Everyone. Nobody has constant, always perfect days. But that’s because if you did you would not know there is a choice in the first place.

The Universe is all about balance. Yin and yang. But you are not just a pawn of the Universe, fate, destiny, or what-have-you. You get to choose for you.

Today can be another day. You can approach it as an awful Monday, promising a week of slogging through work to get to the weekend.

Or, you can approach today as just another day. What happens, happens, you just go with it. Might be good, might be bad, but you don’t choose jack shit and just let it be.

Or, you can make today the day. Start the new activity to build that new habit. Begin eating healthier food. Write the first page of the novel you’ve always wanted to write. Move more. Choose to go for it.

No matter where you are there is ALWAYS a choice to be made. Life only just happens if you let it. But you have the power within you to choose positivity, neutrality, or negativity for any given day. If you desire to be more complete, more in control, and more empowered – why wouldn’t you make today the day?

Today is the day. Choosing positivity consciously creates this fact. What do you desire to do to manifest this reality?

It is easy to choose positivity to make today the day

But it requires mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intent.

Knowing that you have options available to you to control today and drive your life as you would desire to, you can choose positivity, neutrality, or negativity for today. When you choose positivity, you have decided to empower yourself to work with mindfulness and conscious reality creation to manifest something incredible and worthy of you. That ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that can spread to people around you. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity.

You build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of your life for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of immense positivity. That positivity can generate even more good energies – and that, like you, is always worthwhile. You are worthy and deserving of all the good you desire.

This is the three-hundred and fifty-fourth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all of my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive a free eBook.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.Name *FirstLastEmail *CommentSubmit

The post Why Not Choose Positivity Today? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

One Person, Many Paths – One Mind and Mindfulness

I am just one person. But there are many paths I can choose from. Practicing mindfulness is the key to Pathwalking and like philosophies.

Many people believe that life is beyond their control. Shit happens, you go with whatever comes your way. You do what you gotta do – and unless you are somehow special, expect nothing but the bare minimums.

Let’s just dispel that right off the bat. Every. Single. Person. On. The. Planet. Is. Amazing. The potential and possibilities aren’t limited to a lucky few, geniuses, or those born to certain privilege. Everyone has the power to take control of their destiny and choose their paths in life.

Outside influences make this look like a lie. But that’s because you have ZERO control over them. All your control lies in yourself – and that is a LOT more control than most people realize.

To gain control, you need to begin with the small and obvious to tap into the big picture that is the beliefs and habits that are you.

Altering what you believe and the habits you practice are how you change. More specifically, since change is inevitable, it is how you direct the changes you experience in life.

The key to choosing any one or many paths is practicing mindfulness on all three of its levels.

While I have written about this in the past, new experiences and occurrences have altered, some, how I look at and work with this. Further, reminders are part of how beliefs and habits get built.

All that written, let’s explore the three aspects of mindfulness.

The surface

At the surface, mindfulness consists of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

When it comes to what you think, what and how you feel, how you act, and the intent of your actions, they belong to only you. Nobody but you can think your thoughts, feel your feelings, or act for you.

It’s easy to believe that other people can make you think and feel a certain way. Also, your actions may be direct reflections of those foreign thoughts and feelings. While outside influences can influence – you make the choices. You choose one or many paths on your own.

This is why blame is pointless. So what? If I am the only one who can choose how I think, feel, act, and intend – then all that I do is my responsibility.

This can be a bitter pill to swallow. Particularly when our fear-based society LOVES blame. Don’t be accountable – blame “them” for the problems. Look familiar?

When you acknowledge this, you empower yourself to choose. Hence, becoming conscious of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions are how you become aware and mindful of your present self.

Additionally, this serves to help you leave the past in the past and focus on the future with a clearer sense of the present. Because a future lacking present knowledge is nothing but supposition.

All this is yours to control. It requires being conscious and aware, rather than operating by rote and routine subconsciously or even non-consciously.

Once you better understand the surface you can start probing the depths of mindfulness.

The mindset/headspace/psyche

Thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions are windows to your mindset/headspace/psyche. This is the overall isness of who you are.

Mindset is how you approach life, the Universe, and everything. It is the base level of vision for how all the world works concerning you and your life. Further, this is where positivity and negativity become yours to control.

A negative mindset begets negativity. A positive mindset begets positivity.

That’s not to say you fully dismiss one or the other. They are both necessary elements. But you can choose direction and placement for yourself.

Headspace is your mood and frame of mind. It tends to be fluid and easily influenced by what you consume.

I don’t mean food. This is where news, social media, interactions with people, and the environments you are in get into your head. Like mindset, you can focus headspace positive, negative, or neutral.

Frequently, headspace is the first deeper element impacted by outside influences. Bad things happening can put you in a bad mood. Mindfulness of this allows you to assert control over it.

Psyche is the deepest of these three elements. It is comprised of a combination of mindset and headspace – but also taps into beliefs and habits.

Psychologically, the psyche is your spirit. It is the truth of who you are and is how you get into your deepest depths of personality to analyze and change habits and beliefs.

All three of these notions work together in mindfulness practice. To access them, you use the surface elements of thought, feeling, action, and intent.

The deepest depth of the aspects of mindfulness is a bit more challenging.

Beliefs and habits

Everyone has beliefs, but we don’t all call them that. Some people refer to them as convictions, ideals, notions, and the like.

But they are deeply embedded in our minds. Many were created long, long ago in our childhoods. Some are good, some not so good.

Some beliefs become outdated via new information. As a human being, you are capable of continual growth, education, and evolution. Hence, something you KNEW ten years ago you KNOW is no longer the same. Beliefs work in this manner.

For example, let’s say as a child you believed the moon was made of cheese. However, once you began formal education, you learned it is made of rocks, minerals, and other substances.

Perhaps, as a child, your parents shared their belief that women are lesser than men. You held that belief for a long time, probably through much of your primary schooling. But then, when you reached college or the real world, you realized that women are NOT lesser than men. Now you believe that they are equal.

All beliefs can be changed. However, it’s important to be in control of that belief. You need to make sure – when you desire to change an outdated belief – that you are changing it according to your mindfulness. Get the facts and figures for yourself rather than relying on the opinions of unreliable sources.

Habits are formed by practicing beliefs over and over. Most habits are almost unconscious and neutral – getting out of bed in the morning, putting on deodorant, eating, etc. Of course, some habits are bad – like smoking, chewing your fingernails, making fun of people with disabilities, etc.

Any habit can be changed, and new habits can be formed. Like beliefs, habits are the most in-depth aspect of mindfulness.

One person – many paths

What has mindfulness and its layers got to do with the Philosophy of Pathwalking? Everything.

The philosophy is simple: Consciousness creates reality. Mindfulness makes you consciously aware and empowers you to create. This allows you to choose the paths to take your along.

Everyone has options for how they get to live their life. You, him, her, them, everyone. While I am just one person, there are many paths I can choose from. Practicing mindfulness is the key to Pathwalking and like philosophies.

When you are aware of your conscious mind you gain control. Then, you can stop outside influences from upsetting you as much as they could. You get to choose where you are going, here and now, and how you will get there. There is no One True Way – but many options and choices. You, and you alone, get to decide what that looks like for you.

Finally, I want to acknowledge a very important fact. While this is an everyday practice, you will fail at it from time to time. Shit happens that you cannot control. Specifically, other people are not inside of your control.

For example, something you did may have hurt another’s feelings. Presuming that was never your intent – there’s not much you can do about it. But that doesn’t mean YOU, in turn, won’t feel bad about making another feel bad.

Congrats, you are human. Car accidents, break-ups, deaths, and job losses can and will occur. And you can’t do a thing about it.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel. It’s a necessary part of life. But choose when, where, and how to release it and return to your mindful paths.

You have all the power. What one or many paths have you chosen/are you choosing?

This is the four-hundred and sixty-fourth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.Name *FirstLastEmail *NameSubmit

The post One Person, Many Paths – One Mind and Mindfulness appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Choose How You Win or Lose

You get to choose how you handle a win or a loss.

Trump is a sore loser.

He doesn’t lose, as far as he is concerned. Never mind that both the popular vote and electoral vote are not in his favor – he’s a winner. So, if his supporters start some shit and he is the cause of a constitutional crisis via his obstinance and unsupportable claims of fraud – it’s not on him, right?

He is choosing to be a sore loser. And because he’s never bothered to respect the office, he doesn’t care how unbecoming his actions are.

Oh, and the rest of the party still supporting his BS? Don’t forget these people – because they clearly don’t care about the legitimacy of our democratic process, either.

Now then, before this turns into a giant political rant let’s get back on topic. You get to choose how you win or lose.

Some people are gracious in victory or defeat. Others show contempt and spite in victory or defeat.

Your attitude towards a win or a loss matters. Why? Because it is a direct reflection of your character. Some people disregard and discount this – but when you seek to be an influencer or good example, how you choose to win or lose is important.

Let’s take a closer look at this, shall we?

The ugliness of a sore loser

Aside from Trump, we’ve all seen examples of sore losers over the years.

They blame others for their shortcomings. They refuse to acknowledge a game well played. The sore losers strive to discredit the winners. They may sulk, throw a tantrum, whine, kvetch, and otherwise be thoroughly unpleasant.

I know I keep coming back to this – but for a perfect example, observe the lame-duck president.

Sometimes this raises questions as to why they partook in the game/election/race/competition/challenge/etc. Were they out to prove something to everyone else, to themselves, or did they genuinely desire the spoils of victory?

Also, some sore losers – when they themselves were rude and disrespectful during the competition or whatever – will guilt YOU for being a sore winner even, when you are not. But that’s still a matter of being a sore loser.

A lot of the time, so much emphasis gets put on the win that a loss is outright unacceptable. More often than not, the pressure of this notion is put on you by yourself. Frequently, there’s nobody that you need to prove yourself to – except for yourself.

Sure, as kids we seek to impress our parents, grandparents, teachers, and in time our friends. Eventually, however, it becomes more important to care for the self and how you perceive and handle success and failure.

Which, all too often, are equated with win and loss.

Being a sore loser is a choice. But you gain nothing by being unpleasant, combative, and disagreeable simply because you lost.

This is not, however, a one-sided concept. Because worse – in some ways – is the sore winner.

The ugliness of a sore winner

You’ve seen these people. They gloat. Hoard any and all credit to themselves. Despite winning, they might taunt and harangue the people they beat. They celebrate without acknowledging their opponents nor offering so much as a “good job” to them.

As a kid, I played one season of little league baseball. Just one, because (a. I was terrible at it, and (b. our team featured two pitchers (the coaches’ sons) who were unhittable.

I think in all the games we played the opposing teams got maybe one hit per game.

Anyhow, after each game we went to the losing team and shook hands with or high-fived each player. Then, we said, “good game.” We acknowledged their effort. Gracious winning.

This is a choice. Lots of people, when they win, shout, and make a huge deal of it. There is nothing wrong with celebrating a win. But ignoring or being rude to your opponent(s) isn’t right.

Some sore winners – when the opposition was particularly rude to THEM during the competition or whatever – will now present equal rudeness right back at them. Way to create a cycle of unpleasantness for everyone.

When you choose how you win, you need to be cognizant of your actions and how you treat the losers.

Choose how you act and react

When all is said and done, any and every action or reaction that you have is yours to choose. Nobody but you are inside your head – so you, and you alone, choose how you react to your life experiences.

This brings up the myth of the participation trophy versus winners and losers. I am all for keeping people’s feelings from being hurt. However, there is a lot to be said for merit and meritocracy.

There are many situations in life where you will score a win or a loss. When you land the job, you score a win. When you get dumped, that’s a loss. If you work in commissioned sales and bonuses are involved, you must exceed your quota to get the biggest bonus. Every time I got my book rejected by an agent it was a loss. Though nobody is keeping score, per see, each of these is looking at a win or a loss.

Some people are not capable of certain things. We all have our skills, specialties, abilities, and so on. There are numerous things I am good at – while there are others I am not. I can win in this column – but I will likely lose in that one.

Because this is a fact of life, it is more important to choose how you win or lose, rather than award mediocrity via participation trophies. Graciously learning to win and lose impacts how you will handle these things when they happen.

Because you can’t avoid them. They will happen in your life.

Whatever the situation may be, you get to choose how you act and react.

Lessons are learned from both wins and losses

Finally, it’s important to recognize that, win or lose, you can learn something.

For example – I have been fencing for 29 years now. There have been certain opponents who, for the most part, I’m unable to win a fight against. I used to get frustrated by this fact.

But there was a lesson to be learned. How did they beat me? Was it something I could change on MY part to beat them next time? When the answer was, yes, I can change my game next time we fight – I might have scored a win against that opponent.

Losing showed me flaws in my game. Rather than get upset and blame my opponent for my loss, I used it to adapt and adjust my game for next time.

How you choose to react to winning and losing can make the difference between reacting to the instinct to feel hurt – or learning something to do better next time. This is how you grow, change, and evolve.

Being a gracious loser or winner is a matter of positivity. Your actions reflect on you – and will impact what happens in your next competition. Winning and losing both can teach valuable lessons towards life, the Universe, and everything. Consider that in your next situation where a win or loss will be tallied.

It is easy to choose how you win or lose

But it requires mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intent.

Knowing that you are going to experience both wins and losses in your life, you get to decide how you will handle them. When you choose to win or lose with grace, poise, and respect for the opposition, it reflects on who you are and how people will react to you – as well as how you feel about yourself. That ultimately empowers you.

When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that can spread to people around you. This can create a feedback loop of awareness and positivity.

You can build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of your life for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of the current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude.

An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of immense positivity. That positivity can generate even more good energies – and that, like you, is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundred and fifty-third entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

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One Day at a Time

Today isn’t yesterday. Tomorrow won’t be today. One day at a time.

When I was younger, I was super high-strung. It didn’t take a lot for me to get out-of-sorts. And my temper? Yeah, there were numerous walls and doors over the years I put a fist or foot into in anger. I know I wrecked a whole bunch of my cordless phones by throwing them in my 20s.

During my 30s, following the nearly crippling accident that made me part titanium, I calmed a lot. I stopped being so tightly wound, found my center. I laid the groundwork for who I would become over the next decade-and-a-half.

Now, in my late 40s, I tend to maintain calm. I haven’t punched a wall in 15 years or more. No matter what I have faced I’ve maintained an overall calm, Zen, optimistic demeanor. I work on living one day at a time.

My faith in humanity has been rattled. I knew that the results of the election were not likely to be clear today. But to see that it is this close speaks volumes.

I live in the Northeast. And the briefest glimpse at the electorate map shows me that the divide between us in this nation is much greater than I imagined.

The support for a selfish, narcissistic, clearly unwell liar being this strong saddens me. It not only makes me question my faith in humanity – but my own core beliefs.

Am I wrong about human nature?

My philosophy focuses on using mindfulness and finding/creating positivity to consciously create your reality. However, it is not exclusionary of other people.

I have long believed that all people desire peace, calm, connection, and to help one another. However, given the support for people who love to exclude, cause harm to those unlike them, and do whatever it takes to grab power – suffice it to say, this is disheartening.

No, it’s not over yet – but that it is so close distresses me. Are people really, truly selfish? Do people care so much about themselves that they don’t give a shit about anyone else? Do they truly see kindness and compassion as weak?

These are all rhetorical questions. There are no answers today. Likely, there won’t be any tomorrow, either.

The question before me is this: Am I wrong about people? Are they more inclined to be selfish than selfless? Are they really that callous? Kindness, compassion, and empathy – are they weaknesses?

The support for people with messages to cause hurt and pain – i.e. “make liberals cry again” – is that truly what people care most for? Pain, suffering, schadenfreude?

The best answer I have is maybe. It’s really hard to say because I know nobody like this personally.

My friends and family give a shit about everyone. They work to build communities and strive to improve matters for not just themselves but those around them.

So I am shaken – but not stirred. My faith in humanity is shaken – but not broken.

Can I still believe?

I am scared. Not so much about the as-yet undecided outcome – but how close it is. The fact that so, so many people support hate, discrimination, malcontent, and fear.

The question is – why? How can they support this?

Are we really wired to be selfish? Have we not evolved so far as most of us would hope? Are we just animals caring only for our individual needs, fuck the rest of the pack?

Maybe. That’s all I have. Maybe we are still far more animal than we believe ourselves to be.

But I also think the real issue here is the fear-base of our society.

Fear is everywhere you turn. While the majority of this fear is not based on a real, tangible issue – it’s there.

Throughout history, there have been people who weaponize fear. Long ago, it was easy – do as we say, or we kill you. And your family. But then the people, in time, overthrew those leaders.

Rather than learn to empower more people and spread the power, certain individuals not born to privilege decided to hoard it when they got it. They learned to use fear to manipulate people to their way of thinking – and created “us” versus “them” narratives to stoke the fires.

Those messages haven’t changed. And as much as intellectuals want to believe that humankind has evolved – clearly, we haven’t.

Or maybe it’s not that simple. Because let’s face it – when it comes to human beings, it is NEVER simple.

Finding understanding

As my wife was saying to me a little while ago, there is a whole culture in this nation – and other parts of the world – where nothing ever seems to come easily. You struggle to make ends meet – and there never seems to be enough. Lack and scarcity are a constant expectation.

The leaders that these people select – rather than empower and show how working together grows us – emphasize the need to take what little you can and grip it tightly. Don’t share – the “other” would never share with you.

These messages encourage people to act in their own interests. They aren’t shown any reason to believe that there isn’t an “us” versus “them” and that it’s an artifice. They see an emphasis on lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.

The people don’t see that those encouraging this are taking from them – and generally the cause of the lack and scarcity.  They are led to believe that if they don’t take what little there is for themselves, they’ll suffer.

Fear of suffering is usually what we fear more than the suffering itself.

 “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Nobody wants to suffer. And to avoid suffering people will do all kinds of things.

I believe that the messages of fear are so overwhelming that people act long before they think.

And look at the examples we have. So many actions that spur an industry but destroy the fabric of the planet. Take it all now – to hell with the future.

If you are like me – this is unfathomable. How can people be like this? Can’t they see the lies?

The answer is no. And it is also why I can’t give in, give up, and let my fear overwhelm me.

One day at a time

Today isn’t yesterday. Tomorrow won’t be today. No matter what the outcome over the coming days of this election – the work won’t change.

I worry that because of how I think, what I share, and the things I say without reservation that I could be in danger. I won’t lie, this is a concern. However, I still believe that deep down we are capable of more.

Human beings may be swayed to acts of selfishness and forgo kindness and compassion for their survival. But that’s because that’s the message dominating the world.

Every single change in history began small. Hence, all of us who see abundance and the potential for a greater humanity need to keep going.

The question is – how do we change our approach?

Positivity gets bulldozed by toxic positivity. Practical mindfulness gets overshadowed by the cure-all ideal of hooky-spooky mindfulness. Reason and logic get overshadowed by fear and opinion. Abundance is dominated by false messages of lack and scarcity.

This day – today – I have no answers. Only more questions. I am sad, scared, frustrated, uncertain – but still, ultimately, hopeful.

My people – my friends and family – largely share my beliefs. And we look out for one another, are kind, compassionate, and empathetic towards not only each other but people we don’t know.

Maybe the challenge is to work out how we came here – and compare rather than contrast how others draw a different conclusion.

Today I don’t know. Tomorrow I probably won’t, either. But today is all I have – and one day at a time is how I get from here to there. Every day is a new opportunity – and I will keep sharing my beliefs in mindfulness, positivity, conscious reality creation, and abundance for all.

One day at a time.

How will you get through your day today?

This is the four-hundred and sixty-third exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.

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