Evan Sanders's Blog, page 76

Dead Silent Moments

There are these dead silent moments.

Moments where i just sit there, looking at nothing, usually down at my hands and I just think. Everything – all the sounds that I would hear if I pulled myself out of this moment deaden. It’s just me and my thoughts. Then, that voice. The voice that I spent so many years running from, ignoring, or failing to tap into. The voice is there. It speaks.

These moments…these dead silent moments last for a minute, a few seconds, or a chunk of unknown time as I get lost in them as fast as they come upon me. They are my favorite moments. They are when I think about things that really matter. Love. My heart. Situations in my life. Arguments. Principles. Character. These moments teach me the truth. I have often of times gone into this place and come out with a different understanding of situations. To its equal, I have also come out with affirmations of actions. But no matter the result. These moments are special.

The truth, as we see it, is a very complicated thing. Sometimes our ego gets in the way of the truth, sometimes not. Sometimes we are blinded my anger, rage, sadness…and our truth is skewed that way. In all honesty, truth is such an ever fluctuating thing anyways. How do we actually know? We are walking around with glasses on we’ve been wearing our entire lives and see the world through those lenses. Our truth can be very different from another’s truth. Isn’t that confusing?

I think many see the truth as “right vs. wrong” and that can lead to dilemmas as well. Of course in life there are things that are horrible and things that are great, but it’s where those fine lines are that makes decisions tough. For me, the truth has become a lot less important than how I make myself and others feel.

It’s not that the truth isn’t important, but for me, I think that focusing on bringing out the best in others and using your power as a human being to reach out to others in the most positive way possible is incredibly important. The next level of that is understanding that how we act, what we say, and who we are is just as important in relation to how we make others feel.

A famous example I always talk about was taught to me from a teacher who put it pretty plainly…he said, “If you think you are the nicest person in the world, and your community around you thinks your an a**hole, you obviously have a major disconnect there between reality and perception.”

When we ourselves are solid…and we can love ourselves, then we can truly take care of others. It’s when you don’t look at how things will effect others when you say / do them where things start to get messy. Another teacher used to always say, “If you think miscommunication is the fault of the person you were communicating to…you are wrong and selfish. It’s your job as the person who is communicating to make sure the other person understands fully what you mean, how you mean it, and what the message is behind it.”

I try to always keep that in the back of my mind. I think that’s one of the ways I have developed over these past few years. When I deliver a message and it gets taken out of context, blown out of proportion, misunderstood or simply confused…I apologize for screwing up before anything else. Because honestly, I care about how the other person feels…and how I make them feel. Why? Because none of this project has been just about me for a couple of years now… this project has developed in it’s mission to empower others to live impassioned and bold lives. It’s about something more than just being a better person. It’s about an idea.

How can I spread that idea in a positive light if my messages are being misunderstood in a negative way?

I can’t.

So you have to think about it. You have to think about it because it matters – to you and to others.

- Evan Sanders

Dead Silent Moments is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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2015 Bucket List

2015 Bucket List

Another year, another bucket list! It’s been one hell of a year (2014 that is). I learned a lot about myself and others, there were amazing ups and incredible downs. But 2014 was a year about trying new things and learning from them. Many of my efforts came up empty in terms of the results I wanted, but I got results in experience – and I think that is incredibly important. My bucket list has developed significantly since last year because the direction of my life and where I am heading has morphed significantly. There are bigger fish to fry on the horizon and I am going to split this list up a little bit different than I did last year.

Last year was about trying to do specific things, but the problem with that was that there were no major goals vs. minor goals. Everything was given similar weight and that actually diluted my focus from the things that really mattered to me.

So 2015 has some major changes in the bucket list. There will be highlighted items and items underneath those that serve as stepping stones.

I’ve learned a lot about goals and accomplishing them (I’m currently going through one of the biggest goals I have ever had that transferred over into 2015 from 2014. You have to have a big end goal, milestones, and daily activities that will help you achieve that end goal. In truth, we are a compilation of our daily activities…and what you do…becomes you.

So if 2015 is the year to make some changes, consider using this type of form I am creating here. Make your plans strategic…like a general on the field of life.

Be tactical.

2015 Bucket List
Life Coaching School (NVW)

YouTube Channel explaining all the things I’m learning

SoundCloud channel with audio recordings from YouTube Video

Graduate from life coaching school

Work with 10 clients 

The Better Man Project

Launch clothing line 

Have 150 YouTube videos done about motivation / life / inspiration 

Launch “Two Wolves” on 4 year anniversary, February 9th, of The Better Man Project

Mini documentary

Start working on speeches

Start speaking career 

Begin weekly newsletter

Work on publishing “The Better Man Project II”

Publish Limited Edition

Reach 1,000,000 views on the blog in one year

Hit 50k on Instagram

Publish collection of poetry

Publish the audiobook for “The Better Man Project”

Hit 40k on Facebook

Hit 30k on Twitter

Land some advertisers for website

Land cover

Start “Adventures” segment with photography

Blog 365 of 365

Online shop

Online training and courses

Bi-weekly online hangouts about a specific subject

Affiliate marketing for best products

Make 5 solid connections in the industry

Health & Fitness

Become ACSM certified personal trainer

Enter into cancer patient training for health and fitness

Hit my goal of 4% body fat by February 5th 

Sponsorship

Workout with Greg Plitt

Write for Flex magazine

Attend Mr. Olympia 2015

Meet Kai Green

Meet Phil Heath

Start my own personal training business

Work with 5 clients

Have professional photos done

Life | General

Write for The Huffington Post

Fish Camp 9 @ Calaveras Big Trees

Go camping at least 5 times

Travel to India or China

Move into new place in February

Nissan GTR

Visit Boise

Visit Yosemite

Huhammad Ali signed photo

Read 30 books

Review Bucket List and goals every day

New snow boots

 

 

2015 Bucket List is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Because Without It…There’s No Sense In This Life At All

 

Love and passion.

 

I’ll tell you this one time, and I want you to listen very very carefully…and never forget this. 

Whatever may stand between you and your dream, no matter the size of the mountain or the depth of the chasm, you can find a way to overcome these obstacles with love and passion. It may take more time to find this way – there will be times when you lose yourself – but you always have a choice. That choice, will always be yours. Don’t let anyone take that from you. Don’t take it away from yourself. Always remember, love and passion. 

It took me a very long time to think before I react to something. It’s incredibly hard. It’s really hard. Many many times I feel the blood rush up inside of me when I hear something or a situation goes horribly south for whatever reason, and I have to find a way to slow myself down. Because if I don’t check myself, I will either say something I don’t mean or pop. I’ve done that. I’ve done that in the past more than I would like to have to admit. But I saw the damage it caused and understood that things needed to change. It’s not about shutting yourself down either…no, it’s about something else entirely. 

Life is about finding outlets, compromises, and adapting your plans in order to keep going. 

Back when I was playing baseball, one of my pitching coaches told me that if I had a bad inning or needed to vent, I would get 30 seconds to find a place removed from the field and the team to scream, yell, bang away at anything, break stuff even (knowing I would pay for it) and then come back to the field to cheer on my teammates. He understood the importance of “getting it out.” What he also understood was the importance of being able to bring a player back to the present, especially pitchers, so that they could move forward in the game and focus on this pitch, this batter, these outs, this inning. 

That was a crucial lesson for me. 

It was a crucial lesson because I didn’t feel that I had to hide these negative emotions inside of me and could instead let them out and leave them where they were. In our society, we teach men (and women as well…but I’m speaking to men right now) to suppress their emotions because they will make you look weak…or as every man has probably been called at least once in his life…a p*ssy. We are taught that strength should be defined through hard bodies, taking what you want from this world, money, women, cars and having emotions as cold as ice. It’s a shame.

Because to me, as a young man who has been writing for almost 4 years about trying to become a better man and person…that doesn’t make a man at all. 

I’ve seen many different ways of living a life and many of them are very different from what was engrained into my mind starting at a young age. Do I want to have a nice car one day? I would love to because I love cars. Would I like a house? I think so, but I love apartments as well and I want to travel the world and see many many different places. Do I want a great physique, yes, of course…but not because someone told me to – because I wanted to see how far I could take my body and reach my potential. 

You see, I want many things out of my life, but not because they are in someone else’s bowl. I want them because I love doing them, having them…and most of all, appreciate them. I appreciate the things I have, the people around me, and the dreams that are in my mind – many of which are being constructed now in real life. 

This grand vision I have of life is far beyond just a dream, it’s a calling…and I know I must answer that call or live the rest of my life in regret. It’s a strong statement to make, but the feelings that are behind it are much stronger…and that’s how I know I am doing the right thing.

At the end of the day it comes down to love and passion. That’s really it. Without love for ourselves and others, we miss one of the greatest points of life. Without passion for our activities and dreams we never give ourselves the opportunity to master something and feel the pride of that process…or on another level, give the world our gifts. 

Love and Passion. 

Think about it. 

- Evan Sanders 

Because Without It…There’s No Sense In This Life At All is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Light It Up | Dreams Coming To Life

 You see, I wanted to be really good at something. I wanted it for me. I wanted to earn it by going through all of it by myself and have no one else give it to me. Maybe that’s the reason I found the gym. It took me a few years to truly realize just how bad I actually wanted it. Then, it took me a year to actually put it into action. I told myself “prove it.” Prove that you want this more than anything else because you believe that it’s going to open doors for you. Prove that you this piece of mind, body, soul is going to become part of a trio that can change lives and motivate people to dream. 

There’s this moment before I start my workouts where I say a little prayer. I have no idea where this prayer ends up in the sky, but what I do know is this…”Give me the strength to conquer my fears and goals…and the ability to motivate others to do the same.” We live in a world where a physique is a symbol. It’s a symbol of discipline, dedication, hard work…and is something that very few achieve and no one can take it away from you. This world is infatuated with bodies and many give respect and authority to those who have ones that are labeled “ideal.” I did not do this to become popular on Instagram or to gain respect from people just because of my body. I did this for many other reasons.

For a long time, I battled with my ability to control my food intake. I sabotaged my own goals because of it and whenever life got hard I would run to food as a quick answer to all of my problems. This pattern set me back time after time but I was determined to break out of something that I felt was controlling me. I did. I’ve seen the dark side of that type of life and I wanted something better for myself. So for the first time in a long time, I committed to something that I had only dreamed of, and every single day when I wake up I see myself getting a little bit closer to that goal. I see the future appearing through my eyes and the young man who dreamed this up and struggled through his own defeats so long ago is looking on with astonishment.

I did this because I want to show people it’s possible. The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life is believe that I could do this. And it’s far more than just creating a body. It’s about drive. Discipline. Dedication. Perseverance. Creating dreams from a vision. Sacrifice. The list of character traits I have been taught go on and on and on…from this dream. Tonight, sitting here right now, I am 29 days away from my goal…a goal 13 years in the dreaming and 5 years in the making.  

I can taste it. I can feel it. I’ve been dreaming about it. It’s going to make things take off for me. I can’t wait to grab it. It’s mine. It’s mine in my head already. Now I’m going out there to take it.

- Evan Sanders

Light It Up | Dreams Coming To Life is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Go To Battle

 

You really only have one option now. Go to battle.

Every step, no matter how tired, weak, discouraged, pained they are…find the courage to take another.

You will be tested.

You will be hungry.

You will crave.

You will suffer.

You will have to push yourself.

You will have to try harder than you have ever tried before.

You will have to find something deep inside of you that you’ve never tapped before.

Because this is the ultimate test.

You aren’t even at the finish line yet, but this, these next 10 days…this is where you make a mark.

This is your chance.

This is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for to show yourself just how badly you want it.

You can do this.

You will do this.

There’s no other option.

Go to battle.

Oh, and have fun.

– Evan Sanders

 

Go To Battle is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Bold & Fearless

Bold & Fearless. 

What does that mean to me? Well, let me get into this. 

It’s like nothing I’ve ever done before. There’s no season, no number to hit, no specific weight or record to break…there’s only the end result…which unlike anything else I’ve ever done in my life, is centered around…an actual vision. 

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the last 4 weeks of my training with my coach – the hardest 4 weeks of training I will ever go through. In the first 4 weeks, I learned the importance of perfect form while lifting heavy weights. In the second 4 weeks I learned how to push myself to and past failure. While I wait for my trainers new notes on these next 4 weeks I’m taking time to reflect on what is about to happen. 

You see, every morning I wake up to the same song on my phone, and I hear Eminem rapping about “one shot” to seize everything you’ve ever wanted to have. There are many shots with this, but those opportunities only will come after the deed is done. I have to earn my place. If for any reason I don’t make it all the way, I will still be so close…only a couple of weeks away, and if I keep pushing I will get there. Like I said before, there’s no end of season. In fact, being on the field of life is the season. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel like I am playing in the game. 

But I still treat every single day as if it was the most important day. As if it was truly my one shot. These next 4 weeks have to be representative of 7 years of pain, struggle, and how much I want this. Out of 7 years…I am only 4 weeks away. Can I do it perfectly? Can I focus that much? Can I give it everything I have. 

These are the questions I am asking…and there are answers that bellow from deep within that roar yes. 

I’ve never felt this way…bold and fearless. Sometimes I think I felt it, but this is something new entirely. This is deeper…more confident, truer feelings than the old. 

There is no abyss I am entering into. No cave. No darkness. In fact, I am near the end – the climbing out a changed man. And I am changed. But most of the changing is just about to come. 

I can’t wait. 

- Evan Sanders 

Bold & Fearless is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Heartbeats

“All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence than you know.” – Ernest Hemingway

For years, the hardest thing I have had to do when coming to these pages is find a way to tell the truth about what is going on in my heart when it is in pain. My fingers struggle to type not because they are unable, but because they begin to tremble as the words begin to unearth from the depths of wherever this gift of writing grew from. I struggle like anyone else…and my struggles, despite the years of revelations and learning, are so real to me and they hit just as hard as they used to. 

In life, there are no shortcuts to anything worth having. In fact, when you travel down that road you end up finding that there are more paths to be walked upon than you originally thought. You find that same reality when you put  yourself out there for matters of the heart as well. For me, it is almost impossible to judge others on decisions they make with their heart regarding others because I understand how complicated that part of our lives are. Sometimes, as much as we want to help we have to others live and learn on their own journey so that they truly understand the value of what it is that has happened to them.

In 25 years young, but in many ways I feel 25 years old. I feel like my life from the get-go has been an open floodgate of experience that has either been conducted through my own search or sprung upon me by the slyness of life itself. Those experiences were dreaded and changed me 10 ways to Sunday often. They shaped, molded, and cracked pieces of me. But they never broke me. In fact, they taught me some of the more important lessons of my life – to always love deeply, to lead with your heart but never to forget your head, to dream as wildly as you can and to know your worth. These lessons turned me into something today that I couldn’t possibly have recognized all those years ago. Or maybe, and I say maybe because I can’t remember that far back, this man right here today, was a dream from all those years ago…from a struggling boy who despite the hell he was trapped in had a dream of becoming something else.

2015 stands as a promise. A promise of not only a new year full of possibility, but also as a testament to the foundation that has been built over the past four years this February. It’s time to start building the house. It’s time to take the dreams that were once only seen in my sleep out into the light and create them. The sacrifices I have made to get to this point, yes, were instrumental in building the foundation – but now, I understand fully that there will be many more. Many won’t be able to see the end in what I am doing, there will be long days and long nights, there will be certain opportunities missed, but I see it. I see the end. To me, that end becomes clearer and clearer every single day that I put down that foundation.

As I think more and more about these past two years…I might have spent a little more time than was necessary making sure that my structure was solid beneath me. Having had everything fall apart once, I think I wanted to make sure that if the walls came down, I would at least have something to build upon again. There’s always that chance – and I fully understand that now. That’s the part about risking it all. Can you risk everything to gain something that demands your best?

That foundation is built.

It’s 2015.

It’s time to build.

– Evan Sanders

Heartbeats is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Those Little Reflections

It’s been a while since I sat down and thought about time passing as much as I did last night. I had a little reflection…seemingly appropriate for the end of 2014 and a lot of good came from it. All of the lessons I have learned over this past year not only taught me something, but helped me grow into a man with a plan starting in 2015. That plan was created through significant turmoil, stress, anxiety, happiness, love, and every other emotion in the book. One day, and it happened just like this, things just clicked all into place and there it was – the plan that seemed like it fell into my lap (which it didn’t do that – not even close). But the feeling of having it all just click and happen struck me, and that’s not something you just overlook.

2014 was another significant year of learning. But it was more of a year of learning through trial and error than 2013. I remember 2013 as a year of lessons…but things that were just taught to me. This past year I gained experience in putting myself out there – and yes I failed a ton. But from failure I learned how to continuously move forward and it actually changed the course of my life. It gave me an idea of what my true calling was and with the lessons I learned from this project, I was able to answer that call starting with the birth of 2015.

Today is going to be short because I’m still nursing myself after being sick for this past week – but there’s a major lesson in that small reflection from last night. Keep going. No matter what – keep going. If you give up you will never be able to see the end of something or see what it could have possibly been. That’s the biggest lesson I have learned from all of this. Never ever give up.

It can take you so far.

– Evan Sanders

Those Little Reflections is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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In Service To Others

 

This time of year always makes me think a lot. I think about what I am doing with my life, where I am headed, where I have always wanted to go, and what difference am I making out in the world. This year has brought a lot of those questions to the front lines of my life and I’ve had plenty of time to think about them. The who, what, when, where, why, how has all showed up right on my front doorstep and demanded my attention. I’ve given it some time, and with some of the recent events that are going on even within these past few weeks, I have begun to understand my purpose and where my place is in this world. 

Throughout the beginning stages of my life, I’ve had battles with taking my own and serving others. These ideas do not coexist very well together. Taking your own is about going out into the world and grabbing what you deserve and making it yours. That mentality is a type of mentality that has lead to obsessions of materialism, how you look, what people think about you, and what you have. Serving others though – now that’s a completely and entirely different way to live your life. That’s how I plan to live mine. 

My service to those around me can start here with my commitment here to this blog. I’ve been going at it for 4 years coming this February and have written every single type of post there is – but I have more. There are never times where I run out of topics to write about because there is always about a million things running through my mind. My commitment level to putting those topics down though is not at it’s best and it’s something I am working on. Part of me really wants to enter back into the days of writing something down every single day – no matter what – and finding my way through those type of methods. They’ve worked incredibly well before – they can work incredibly well again. 

Service to others means a lot more to me than writing through. It’s about a way of being and also coming to an understanding that some of the old mentalities do not work anymore. Shutting off around strangers doesn’t work. Being focused more on yourself does not work. What does work however is focusing on how you can positively change other peoples lives and what you can bring to the table. The Mother Teresa quote above is brilliant because it explains something that I have had very hard times with in the past. I’ve often had trouble with people not responding to me, people “disrespecting” me and other things of that nature, but in truth, it’s not me vs those other people anyways. It shouldn’t be about that – but my mentality in the past has made it about that. 

I want to make a change.

The hard part in the past has been about giving and not receiving. Seems like Mother Teresa had a few ideas about that. She understood that giving is about much more than the response back. In fact, she believed that giving was about much more than humanity itself. It was about service, and service for a reason. 

I’ve decided that I want to travel down that path and give as much as I can give. Maybe it’s the holiday spirit that has brought this to the forefront, but it’s obviously been something that has been on my mind for a while. So here is my commitment out into the world – out loud for everyone else to see. 

I commit…

To loving, nurturing, and giving without expectation. 

To not harboring bad feelings, regret, or resentment for not receiving anything back, no matter the gesture. 

These are bold statements I know, but my decision is there and there’s never a better time to make a change than right at the beginning of a new year. This is not a new years resolution mind you, but a life resolution. For too long have I spent time battling with these thoughts of why I give so much when nothing comes back. That’s ok…I feel much better when I give anyways.

- Evan Sanders

In Service To Others is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Life’s Compelling Case For Living In Fear

Sometimes it’s the best thing to not get what you want right away. 

Not getting what you want gives you an opportunity to show just how much you want it. This is especially true when you strive for a huge goal and come up just short of what you envisioned. That feeling of almost having it is still in your fingertips but you didn’t quite grasp it. Then what? Do you give up altogether or do you capitalize on the progress that you made? I’ve done both. The former feels awful in the long run and you send yourself right back to where you were before. The latter though, now that’s new for me. 

Thing thing is, it’s going to take you a long time to make any significant long-lasting changes. I learned that the hard way with watching my body and health morph and change throughout the past 6 months. I ended up short of where I wanted after my first 14 week challenge even though I completed an incredible milestone…and that left me upset initially and then after a few weeks of rest – hungry for more. I was looking for how I could improve upon the process I had just gone through and how I could reach that goal. 

That goal has been sitting in the back of my head since I was 12 years old. 

There were many reasons for not achieving it. Mostly eating habits, but a large amount of it was rooted in my mental ability to discipline myself. I wasn’t committed. I was interested – but not committed. 

There’s a huge difference between those two. 

 

When it comes down to your vision, you have to be willing to make all the sacrifices…and then once you learn of new things to sacrifice, you have to give up those as well. It’s going to take everything you have to get it done. For me, right now, my body is aching, every step of cardio hurts, and yet I am trying to somehow find a way to make it happen. 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks of pushing as hard as I can. 

That’s where the mental development of spending hours in the gym over the past few years of my life comes into play. Sure it’s about getting stronger physically, but mentally you find yourself capable of so much when you can pull from that internal discipline and overcome pain and fatigue in order to get something done. Those are lessons that translate into the rest of your life. 

There’s no going through this  without some pain. You will feel it…and when you feel it, you have to find a way to use it. You have to tap into that because if you don’t it will consume you. It will eat up every piece of you and eventually make you stop because you are aching. Your mind is so powerful – you just have to give it a chance to warm up and overcome the bumps and bruises the body has gone through. 

Life makes a compelling case for living in fear. 

While living with fear isn’t a choice…living in fear is. You have the choice to continue to act or to play it safe…or to not even play at all. That’s an option. You can sit on the bench your entire life and watch everyone else play – and even worse – simply comment, bicker, and grovel about those who are on the field. That’s even worse than not playing the game at all. I think people start to focus on what others are doing simply because they can’t possibly comprehend why they haven’t even begun to see what they are capable of. Focus that energy inward and you will grow. 

Remember – there are huge differences between what you are interested in and what you are committed to. Commitment breeds sacrifice. Interest breeds comfort. 

– Evan Sanders

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Life’s Compelling Case For Living In Fear is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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