Evan Sanders's Blog, page 77

When I Let Go Of Who I Thought I Should Become

 

When you let go of what you think you should be, what the world is trying to tell you to be, and simply listen to know who you are deep down inside – magic happens.

Everything is trying to drag you towards the middle where the current is. You should be this way, dress this way, talk this way, like this music, do these things…the list goes on forever. The more you express yourself, the farther away from the norm you get the more you feel the gravity of that pull trying to bring you back in.

The rest of the world, as much as they revere those who innovate and change things, does not want you to become an outlier.

But that’s where most people’s passions live…on the fringes. That’s where genius lives. That’s where vision and dreams live. If you are going to take a chance on those, you better be willing to feel the pressure from the massive outside forces of normality.

I didn’t understand that at the beginning.

I thought that this force trying to bring me back in was the right thing to do. However, in many cases I found out that the voice whispering deep inside of me was the right thing to do because that is where my purpose and passion lives. If I ignored that I would be forever living in deep regret.

Follow what makes you jump out of bed in the morning. Follow what makes your heart light up. Those positive things will never send you in the wrong direction. They might send you into very challenging situations, but that’s  what comes with the territory. You have to be willing to seek that resistance and understand that once it shows up, you are in the right place.

Be willing to be different. Make the sacrifices it takes to carry out your dreams. You never know when you will be taken from this place, so you might as well give yourself the best chance possible to go out with a bang and be following your dreams.

– Evan Sanders

When I Let Go Of Who I Thought I Should Become is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

Through Rough Waters

 

Struggling is part of the game. 

Today, I am struggling. I am struggling with trying to stay healthy, with my vision and with not seeing as much progress as I would have liked to this week. I wanted to be a couple of steps closer this week and while I worked really hard, I didn’t see much progress from last Sunday to this Sunday. That can be hard. You get this sinking feeling in your stomach. But, during times like these, I am reminded of two things…and that is what I want to share today. 

Sometimes you aren’t going to see the results you want, but as long as you didn’t take steps backwards, that’s progress. That’s the first thing. See, my old habits would be of a person who wouldn’t see progress and then he would sabotage himself sending everything back 4 or 5 steps. I don’t do that anymore – huge learning lesson from the past and something I worked incredibly hard on. The specific struggle I am talking about is with my fitness challenge and being officially 6 weeks out from my goal tomorrow. Two weeks ago I started a carb cycle and saw great results the first week, and then this week, not as much of a change. 

Moments like today cause me to look at my past week and reflect on where I went wrong and what I could do better for this upcoming week. If you dwell on the negatives too long you end up staying there. Instead, take a minute to see where you failed and then find out where you can succeed. For me, it’s going to be focusing down on food intake and planning – because I have nailed down the hard work in the gym. I’m working almost twice to three times as hard as I ever have and I can see the results of strength gains. Now, if I can translate that into other facets of the plan I will succeed. 

Want my book for FREE? Sign up!








.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 { width: 600px;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 h2 {font-size: 24px; color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {font-size: 14px;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content h2:before { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"],.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form select,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"]:focus,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form select:focus,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea:focus {border: 1px solid #ff4300;}.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="submit"]:hover { background-color: #bebebe;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content { background: rgba(48,20,28, 0.7);}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 { background: url('http://thebettermanprojects.com/wp-co...') no-repeat scroll 50% 50% transparent; }

The other concept is something I briefly just touched on…but it’s not slashing all of your other tires simply because you got a flat with one. That’s insanity. Taking your whole car out because you picked up a nail and had to pull over onto the side of the road. That insanity however was very very indicative of the type of person I was just over 6 months ago. If one thing went wrong, well, I personally made sure that the whole thing would go wrong and try to start all over again. 

Perfection can be your enemy or it can be your best friend. It just comes down to how you look at it. You can chase perfection with the deep knowledge that you might never achieve it…and yet still try the best you can to create the best product possible. That’s one way. Or, you can paralyze yourself and have your product never released into the world because you are always changing it and morphing it without any finality in sight. The truth is, perfection is often an advanced strategy that many of us aren’t even ready for. 

Now what do I mean by that? I think embarking on trying to find your best stuff is a much more valuable and tangible than trying to be perfect all the time. I think you get a lot more and you learn a lot more. For me, I know I’m not even close to being ready to focus on creating something that is “perfect.” When I have tried to do that with my body, I just created unrealistic expectations of myself that were never realized because it wasn’t even close to something that I could envision. However, my best…and what I can expect of myself in finding my best…yes that’s where the magic is for me. That’s what has kept me on track with everything these past 6 months and that’s where I have been making significant amounts of progress. 

Time and time again I am challenged. 

Time and time again I answer the call. 

That part of my life hasn’t changed. What has changed is my ability to stay the course…through the storms, the huge waves, the doldrums, the rocky shores and the land that needs to be explored. 

I have been able to stay the course no matter what is facing me. That’s where I am today. Yes, I am disappointed that I didn’t take a great leap forward this week. But in this week, there were wins littered everywhere…and I am proud of those wins. 

I have to remind myself often that there was a time where I didn’t feel like I was winning at all. I had nothing to be proud of. Heck, I wasn’t even proud of what I was doing at the time at all. But I changed that…and no one can take that away. 

You see the farther and farther you sail away from the shore the less and less you remember what it was like to be on land. I still have that feeling in my feet but I’m getting more use to that rocking feeling of the boat. I left a while ago, and while my imagination brings me back to where I was at times, I am starting to look more and more forward to landing on that shore a new man ready for my new adventure. 

People say that fitness is just about the body and people’s egos…but that usually comes from the people who haven’t gone down this path. I can personally tell you that this is the most mentally and emotionally challenging thing I have done. I am a man without much shortage of motivation in my life, and I still find myself being tested…melted and reshaped every single day.

Forward we go…there’s no turning back now. 

- Evan Sanders

Through Rough Waters is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

How Bad Do You Want It?

How Bad Do You Want It? 

It seems as the days go by I find myself finding more and more ways to get better at the things I have dreamed and envisioned. My first and greatest challenge this past year is trying to bring myself into the greatest possible peak condition I can be. For me – this represents a dream that I have had since I was 12 years old – and somewhere deep down inside of me I know that it will catapult be further than I could possible understand or imagine. I’ve heard that voice inside for years upon years telling me to try – and over the past 6 months I have answered that call, finally, and am now 7 weeks out from making that a reality. 

There are times during the day where I hear the following speech “How Bad Do You Want It?” by Eric Thomas in my headphones and it brings a new energy into me. I think that the things we listen to and digest have a greater effect on us than we know. You have to be careful about what you bring into your life – because negativity can control your mind and take you place you don’t want to go. I had to stop listening to some artists because of the things they sang about. Those things aren’t meant to be in my life – they are everything I am working against – and yet hearing them over and over again can convince you of trying something else. 

There was a young man, you know,

who wanted to make a lot of money

and so he went to this guru, right.

And he told the guru you know

I wanna be on the same level

you are and the guru said

if you wanna be on the same level I’m on,

I’ll met you tomorrow at the beach. 

So the young man got there 4 A.M. he already to rock n’ roll.

Got on a suit should of wore shorts.

The old man grabs his hand and said:

How bad do you wanna be successful?

He said: “Real bad”.

He said: Walk on out in the water.

So he walks out into the water. Watch this.

When he walks out to the water

he goes waist deep and goes like this guy crazy. 

Hey I wanna make money and he got me out here swimming.

I didn’t ask to be a lifeguard.

I wanna make money he got me in

so he said come on a little further

walked out a little further

then he had it right around this area

the shoulder area

so this old man crazy

he making money but he crazy.

So he said come on out a little further

came out a little further, it was right at his mouth

my man, I’m not about to go back in this guy is out of his mind. And the old man said:

“I thought you said you wanted to be successful?”

He said: “I do.”

He said: “Then walk a little further.”

He came, dropped his head in, held him down,

hold him down, my man (kept scratching) hold him down,

he had him held down,

just before my man was about to pass out,

he raised him up.

He said: “I got a question for you.”

He told the guy, he said:

“When you want to succeed as bad as

you wanna breathe than you will be successful.” 

I don’t know how many of you all got asthma here today?

If you ever had a asthma attack before your short of breath S.O.B shortness of breath,

you wheezing (breath sound) the only thing

you trying to do is get some air.

You don’t care about no basketball game,

you don’t care about what’s on T.V.,

you don’t care about nobody calling you,

you don’t care about a party.

The only thing you care about

when you trying to breathe is to get some fresh air.

That’s it!

And when you get to the point

where all you wanna do is

be is successful as bad as

you wanna breathe then you will be successful.

And I’m here to tell you that number one,

most of you say you wanna be successful

but you don’t want it bad, you just kind of want it.

You don’t want it bad than you wanna party.

You don’t want it as much as you want to be cool.

Most of you don’t want success as much as you want sleep.

Some of you lost sleep more than you lost success.

And I’m here to tell you today,

if your going to be successful

you gotta be willing to give up sleep.

You gotta be willing to work with 3 hours of sleep

2 hours of sleep, if you really wanna be successful.

Some day your gonna have to stay up 3 days in a row.

Because if you go to sleep you might miss

the opportunity to be successful.

That’s how bad you gotta (inaudible). 

- Eric Thomas 

 

How bad do you want it kid? Oh, I want it pretty damn bad. 

For a long time I couldn’t put the rubber to the road. My wanting of it was overwhelmed by my fear of it. It’s like a little kid playing with a new scary toy. They are so curious but they can’t quite yet grab it because it’s so unfamiliar to them. This path I have taken has yielded me many of those moments and brought fear head on into my life. I have become scared of more things in my life, and yet at the same time I have found some way to turn that fear into possibility and bring light to the situation. 

We will always be fearful of things. The difference though between those who continue to move forward and those who are controlled by that fear lies in their ability to stay curious about the world and ideas. This, right here, has been one of my greatest learning lessons throughout the past 4 years of this project – and I know that is going to carry me forward into the future with open eyes and ears. 

When you can see another way of living, a more positive way, a happier way…don’t ignore that. Understand what it is about that way of life that intrigues you and if you are willing, give it a shot. Literally the worst thing that could happen is that you will go back to your old way of life. Ask yourself how much you are willing to sacrifice and then move towards it. Along the way you will find that this vision will demand more and more from you, and if you have it in you, you will be willing to give up more and more for it. 

How bad do you want it? What can you give up for it? Because you deserve to have it – now go out and make it. 

- Evan Sanders 

Like That Post? Sign Up For More!








.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 { width: 600px;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 h2 {font-size: 24px; color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {font-size: 14px;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content h2:before { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"],.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form select,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"]:focus,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form select:focus,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea:focus {border: 1px solid #ff4300;}.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="submit"]:hover { background-color: #bebebe;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content { background: rgba(48,20,28, 0.7);}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 { background: url('http://thebettermanprojects.com/wp-co...') no-repeat scroll 50% 50% transparent; }

 

 

 

How Bad Do You Want It? is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

The Hum Of The Stands

 

There will always be this hum you will hear. We enter back onto the field again.

I’m gonna tell you something I’m not the best at. I’m not great at hearing people in the background talking poorly about me. Honestly, I’m working on it and I want to work through it here today and put out where I am at with this.

Things usually get back around to me in one way or another. It’s not always right away but there have been many times where I have heard things said about me that may or may not have wanted to be kept in confidence. I’ve heard things said from people I don’t even know…I’ve heard things said from people who have once meant the world to me…and yet it all arrives in the same place in my gut.

They say that a man who is built upon the compliments of others will fall from the criticisms just as quickly. I love that idea. For me, and this is the way it has always been for me, I have been able to tap into those feelings that arise when I hear these things. I am not built upon people praising me, nor will I fall from them saying bad things about me. In fact, for most of my life, it has been the complete opposite. I’ve gained great strength from the things that people said I couldn’t do.

I remember way back during the end of one of my seasons in baseball I started to have really funky mechanical issues with my pitching and my fastball velocity had suffered incredibly. I was making everything cut and couldn’t throw as hard as I usually did. This was right during the times of prospect camps – the time when you needed to impress coaches the most and I didn’t have my usual stuff. It was really hard because I could hear people talking about it and I had no idea how I could fix this. The people who had coached me looked at me in bewilderment trying to figure out what was going on with me.

I was determined to get it back – which I eventually did…and then some. In fact I went from an afterthought to dominant. But the lesson here isn’t in that at all. The lesson is in something else.

There’s this moment when you are on the mound pitching where the sounds the other team is making, the fans in the stands with their hum and everything else around you silences. It’s just you and the catchers mitt. Everything slows down and the distance between you and the plate seems to shrink. You get this type of tunnel vision and when you realize you are in that moment, you are close to unstoppable. Your body is in complete flow with your mechanics and pitching becomes second nature.

But there are other moments when you walk a couple of guys, someone gets a hit, someone makes an error, where the game speeds up on you and boy can you hear those voices when that happens. You can hear the other team yelling, you can hear people in the stands and throwing a strike becomes incredibly difficult.

 How can I do this in real life?

How can I get back to that moment where I walk off the mound, take a deep breath, pump myself back up and focus on throwing the next pitch. I’m working on getting back to this ever since I had a few massive revelations at school over the past few days. I’m working on this mentality like crazy. Because no matter the situation I was in or I was brought into, I could gear up and face anything without fear.

I will be the first person to tell you about my weaknesses when they come up. In fact, I will ask for help…I will enroll you if you are interested…I will get down to the nitty gritty of why I am struggling because I truly want to be able to move forward. I will talk about what I am scared of – in fact – this past week I did a lot of that. The fear of failing. The fear of success and not being able to handle it. Scared of being misinterpreted for something I am not. Scared of losing everything I have made. Scared of going the extra mile because I know I will be subjecting myself to even more of this hum.

But as Karen said to me…”That’s all part of the game.”

And she is right. Balls, strikes, home runs, errors, over throws, passed balls, wild pitches, strikeouts, walks, that’s all part of the game. It’s not about having a perfect game every game. You actually can’t do that. Pitching is about grooving when you have it and facing adversity when you don’t. There are so many times you go out there and two of your pitches aren’t working well at all. What the hell do you do when that happens?! Focus on the fact that you don’t have your changeup and curve or start pounding the zone with your best fastball – one that has every ounce of conviction behind it. Of course you try to keep throwing the other pitches because you want to find them throughout the game, but you can’t bring yourself into that negative space or else you’re not going to make it out of the first inning.

The hum of the crowd is something I am dealing with right now. Ever since I realized I was on the bench for a great part of my days, I’ve been trying to get used to running back out on the field, dealing with adversity, and finding that place in myself again where I can block it all out when I need to and focus on continuing to make a difference no matter what anyone says about me.

Here’s the closer. Not only could I block it out, but I remember the things people say. I put those words in a special place and know when to turn up the furnace when I need them. I don’t always run off of positive energy – but I always find a way to turn the black into something I can use to create a positive result. Maybe that’s my form of alchemy – the ability to turn negatives into positives. I’m getting back there. I’m getting back to that focus where I don’t give a damn what the other opposing team says, what the opposing fans are yelling, what the batter is taunting me with, what the baserunners are saying to try to get into my head…I will do exactly what I do…do it well…and be dominant.

Case closed.

– Evan Sanders

The Hum Of The Stands is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

The Dugout, The Field & The Mound

Without a doubt, December 10th and 11th were two of the most transformative days in my life. I can’t wait to tell you this story.

The past two days were my first two days of professional life coaching school in SF. I went into school with lots of questions, yearning for answers on structure and process, and was promptly thrown into the water and taught how to swim. We were put into uncomfortable situations, we were tested, we were made to coach people who were completely and utterly different than us, and we were given incredible amounts of feedback from the coaches who  worked with us. These past two days were not just transformative, they delivered something I really couldn’t have predicted: my calling.

I left school last night and knew that I had found something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It spoke to me in so many ways and I felt like, even though I am very inexperienced at this point, I was good at it. I have this thirst for more and a curiosity about everything that I know will drive me forward. This is all great – but I have yet to get to the meat. 

 Yesterday, during our one on one group coaching session, I worked with this amazing woman who was one of the kindest, most loving and caring people I have ever met. With her words that came straight from the heart, we developed a very vulnerable relationship together in a very safe space and we were off to the races. It’s what came out of us coaching each other for two hours that’s the climax of this story.

After talking to her for about 45 minutes straight, referencing my time with baseball and how heartbreaking it was to lose that, and how much of a struggle I was having with moving forward with my life right now towards my dream, she looked me in the eyes and said something I will never ever forget. She said, “Your on the bench.”

Excuse my french here…but when I heard this, I literally said “F*ck” out loud. What she was referencing was my fear of putting myself out there even more than I have in the past, by doing poetry slams, by speaking, by making those deep personal connections with an audience, by developing myself into the man I knew I could be…but I have been sitting on the bench. As soon as she had put that concept into baseball terms, and told me that I was the guy that was simply not interested in wanting to play the game of life, it all snapped inside of me. 

“I hate that guy” I said. “I NEVER want to be that guy again.” And then, a slew of other realizations came to me that almost put me into tears. You see, losing baseball for me was the only thing that was keeping me together. Once it was yanked from me, the flood gates opened and the dam broke. Everything that I had never dealt with came rushing in and I started to drown. For me, I thought baseball was lost forever. But what I realized last night was this – baseball has never been more important in my life than right now. Everything I ever learned; all the mental strength, all the mechanics, all of the conditioning and visualization…that all still applies…just in a different way. 

She then goes, “Your probably not going to want to hear this…but it sounds like your arm falling apart was the best thing that happened to you.” How right she was. Even though everything inside of me broke after my time with the sport ended, it made me into a new person. Out of pain came the birth of a new me. But the story goes on.

We then started talking about my nicknames. The Ice Man and Colonel. She goes, “You are three different people when you need them.” The Ice Man comes out when you are on the mound playing the game and completely focused on the task at hand. Fastball. Outside corner. At the knees. Go. You are that man who is completely shut off from the crowd and everything else that could distract you from doing what you know how to do. Then, The Colonel, is the man who loves to run out onto the field and eat up the crowd’s roar and the other teams banter. The Colonel is vibrant, passionate, and determined. The Colonel is that one step before The Ice Man. But then, after your injury and all the fear of your elbow never working again, you developed this guy…this guy on the bench who doesn’t even want to go pitch because he is afraid of what might happen.

These words, all of them, struck me so hard I can’t even tell you. I had to stop myself from tears coming down my face in class because it was all so true. I was so afraid. I wouldn’t even run out onto the field and give it my best shot because I was so afraid and discouraged by what had previously happened to me. 

 

As you could imagine, this was a pretty big moment – the one where I realized I was sitting in the dugout for a good portion of my life unwilling to run up and out to that field and breathe it all in. So I vowed to never be in the dugout again. In fact now I’m pretty sure that if I ever see a dugout I’m going to avoid it completely.

You see, this woman spoke my language and she got to see my current narrative and then realize a new one I could live. She helped me see that of course all of the things I am doing are great, but at the same time, I am missing that personal connection with the crowd. There is this chasm between me and others even while I am being vulnerable, and I have to start to find ways to bride that chasm. How though?

Coaching school was a brilliant start. Poetry slams where I can feel the audience right there connected with me. Then, eventually, speaking to crowds.  

 

Why the three photos? The dugout, the field, and the mound. I will have to remind myself daily to give it my best go and step up and out from the dugout to go pitch again. Maybe I won’t be facing hitters anymore, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still pitch in this game of life. That doesn’t mean I can’t use everything I had ever learned today. For such a long time I had been sitting in that dugout scared to go back out and play in the next inning. I’m ready to pitch now though. I’m ready to face whatever comes up against me.

I’ll never sit in that dugout again. 

It’s time to take in the crowd and enjoy the game again. Because I loved that game. And now, I know that love never really stopped, it was just waiting for me to walk out onto the field again. 

- Evan Sanders 

The Dugout, The Field & The Mound is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

Vivid Dreams | The Power Of Our Words

I think if the words we spoke were written on our skin for all time we would be a lot more careful with what we say.  

I think back to the hundreds of thousands of words I have written here and smile. But truthfully, I am most proud of the words I wrote when I was in the most pain. Those times I felt slighted, humiliated, looked down upon, cheated, those times challenged me the most to be able to put something positive to paper. Sometimes it demanded tears, but in the end, it was all worth it. 

The hardest thing in the world is to gentle with someone else when you are in pain. Everything in you wants to fight back, to react, to cast it out – but I truly believe the measure of a strong person is how gentle they can be with others. 

A long time ago, in the midst of a bit of a revelation of some sorts, I wrote a post called “Everything Matters.” I had come to the realization that all of our actions matter – instead of the cynical way of looking at things – as if nothing mattered because we are such small beings on the scale of the entire universe. No, it struck me hard that each step you take, each decision you make, each smile, the words you say – it all matters. It matters because you have more reach than you could possibly imagine and everything you do puts off energy that ripples throughout the universe. 

Got a little philosophical there.

The things you say to people can make their day or they can completely ruin it. Why not make them happier? Why not give them an extra boost to set them on the right path? See the power of our words lies in what we say, but also with how we say them. With emotion, love, and compassion behind them, our words can become incredible communicators.

I think that’s why I love writing and I know I will continue forever. It allows me to reach a lot of people I couldn’t possibly reach. For me, it helps me with the realization that being part of a bigger picture…being something greater than myself is more important than anything.

- Evan Sanders

Like That Post? Sign Up For More!








.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 { width: 600px;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 h2 {font-size: 24px; color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {font-size: 14px;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content h2:before { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"],.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form select,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"]:focus,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form select:focus,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea:focus {border: 1px solid #ff4300;}.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="submit"]:hover { background-color: #bebebe;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content { background: rgba(48,20,28, 0.7);}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 { background: url('http://thebettermanprojects.com/wp-co...') no-repeat scroll 50% 50% transparent; }

Vivid Dreams | The Power Of Our Words is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

The Beginning

February 9, 2011

The beginning.

The world needs better men.

I sit here mashing at the keys, in no way, a perfect man. In fact, I believe that if you think you are the perfect man…well, there’s one problem right there. This blog is not intended to be an instruction manual on how to be a better person; rather it is a peek inside my own journey towards becoming the man who I have always wanted to be. I have had my excuses, my failures, my successes, and my shortcomings, all of which have led me to this point: sitting in front of you, listening to the patter of my fingers on the keys. I have always loved writing. Even though I will be blogging, I will still use my Moleskin – the overpriced lined diary that I immediately fell in love with. Anyone who has ever used one would understand. But it isn’t its quality that drives me to the brand, but rather the enticing thought of writing in the same type of notebook as Hemingway and Fitzgerald. It almost drives you to the bar and nudges you to have three or four to see what you could come up with.

But I digress. This blog is my 30-day attempt to break all the bad habits I have ever had. Each day, I will go through one thing that I believe is crucial to my development as a man; hopefully along the way you will get something out of it too. I have always wanted to write down the things that matter to me most. Trust me, I’ve been through hell. I can show you the vouchers. But there is something very calming about being able to look back on the times when you thought you weren’t going to make it out alive and realize that you did. When I was going through the worst of it, I remember someone telling me, “God only gives you as much as you can handle.” This one phrase kept me fighting no matter how tough it was, because I knew that this was my test and that somehow I had to get through it.

This leads me to my first post of this blog.

Standing for Something

I was asked a very interesting question a few months ago. “Evan, what do you stand for as a person?” To be honest, I stared blankly back at them – not because I was confused, but because I really had no idea. So I did the one thing that I have been doing since 2nd grade…I made a brainstorming cloud. Trust, loyalty, determination, perseverance…you know, words that sound good on a résumé. Overcoming setbacks…staring down fear…eventually I realized that I was about more than just a series of random yet inspiring words. I needed complete thoughts and ideas to describe how I viewed myself and the life I wanted. I looked up at my wall and saw my favorite quote from Rocky Balboa telling me that life is not about how hard you can hit, but what you do after you have been knocked down repeatedly. For me, when I am going through the roughest of times, that idea keeps me going. It keeps me scratching and clawing no matter what, because in the end, much like Rocky, I know I will be okay.

So what do I stand for? Well, I think I need to look at it more in terms of what I want to stand for from now on. After thinking about it long and hard, I finally found it: ever Quitting. This stands for everything. Never quitting on: relationships, tests, myself, classes, workouts, books, friends, promises…the list goes on. For me, this is a very measurable aspect of my life. I can tell whether I quit on something or not; whether I gave up or kept going. There have been events in my life where I have given up and quit, and even thinking about them makes me nauseous. But now, knowing what I stand for and realizing that I want perseverance to be at the heart of my character, I can no longer accept quitting as an option. Challenge yourself to never quit on anything during the day. Find what you stand for and let it drive your life.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Like That Post? Sign Up For More!








.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 { width: 600px;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 h2 {font-size: 24px; color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {font-size: 14px;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content h2:before { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"],.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form select,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"]:focus,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form select:focus,.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea:focus {border: 1px solid #ff4300;}.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="submit"]:hover { background-color: #bebebe;}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content { background: rgba(48,20,28, 0.7);}
.snp-pop-10710 .snp-newtheme1 { background: url('http://thebettermanprojects.com/wp-co...') no-repeat scroll 50% 50% transparent; }

The Beginning is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

A Fiery Heart & Wicked Brain | On Watching It All Burn

I’m not going to wish you luck. I don’t wish people luck. In fact, I think it’s one of the worst things that can happen to you. Because if you are lucky, you’ll never have any knowhow of making it happen again. If you are lucky, and along comes the ways of this life and tears it all down – burns it all down in front of you – you will have no idea how to build it back.

Sometimes we have to break things to build them the way we want them.

A long time ago I didn’t have that choice but I learned the lesson very well. I watched it all burn around me and it was only until the day that I thought about the imagery of burning matches that I came across an understanding of what it truly meant to stand in your flames. When you lay down when things get hard you will certainly turn to ash. But if you stand in them with faith, they most certainly will put themselves out in time.

Don’t be afraid to look at what is going on in your life and start tearing it down to the studs. Often of times when we are young we don’t have much choice in how things are built. They are built for us. But as time goes on and we have more and more control over ourselves, we might begin to realize that we don’t like the way things were made for us initially. Or, we can fall into the trap of thinking that it’s just the way it is and theres nothing we can do about it.

Nothing is farther from the truth.

We can change our reality in a heartbeat. Of course there are always consequences, but the fact of the matter is – we indeed have the power to change it. The question then really becomes “Am I willing to accept the consequences that come along with these changes?” Take the changes that people make at the beginning of every year. We all want to make these big changes, but when we start getting sore or it begins to hurt, we quickly revert back to what we know is easy.

Resistance is a fantastic indicator.

Resistance tells you that you are starting to hit new ground. Resistance demands that you give more effort in one way or another to be able to conquer what is in front of you. It makes you a stronger person, that is, if you decided to look for it instead of shy away from it.

To be honest, for a long time I have avoided resistance. Not in everything, but in many things. I guess I have avoided this resistance for some time because of fear. I know I’ve been talking about fear a lot lately but the more that I come to terms with what’s actually going on with me the more I am able to let it all out into the open. That’s what this writing has always been about – being completely and utterly honest with myself. Sometimes it takes me a little while longer to get there, but it always eventually uncovers itself.

You can easily get stuck in limbo. That feeling of knowing where you want to go but sticking to what you have known. Even though you might be doing things that are heading you in the direction you want to, mentally you can get stuck there. It might sound strange, but as John Wooden use to say, “Never mistake motion for action.”

Just because you are moving around doing things doesn’t mean you’re actually doing…anything.

Opportunities will fly by if you don’t give yourself the chance to grab them. Often times they look a lot like work. Nothing impressive was built without a significant amount of work behind it. There was a saying in Hollywood that said that overnight success takes 10 years. From the music I listen to, the books I read, and everything else I digest content wise that seems to keep coming back to me again and again. 10 years. I’m just 4 in.

When I think about how much I have learned over this past 4 years it astounds me. But when I try to grasp what will happen when I even double this time…that becomes much more intriguing. I’ve changed this much in 4 years…God only knows what I’m going to be like in 8 years. I can wholeheartedly say that without writing and what I am doing here almost every day, I would be in a very very different place than I am now. In truth I only remember some of the memories of myself before this time. I remember the things that happened and the way I felt, but I don’t remember specifically the type of person I was. All I can remember was that feeling of being a shell. This is just a testament to how much you can change if you put your mind to it.

Don’t be afraid to pick it all apart and start over again. I call this The Auditing Phase. Looking at your life and understanding how you arrived, who you are, and who you want to be. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be ever morphing and changing for the better. There are still a lot of things that I want to create for myself and the only way to get there is to give it some effort every single day.

Don’t miss the opportunities to create things. You will feel them stack up on you if you do miss them. They will becoming these looming balls of stress in the back of your mind and if you don’t take care of them, they will eventually disappear in the worst way possible: they will vanish. Your dreams and goals, while they are yours alone, can disintegrate if you don’t give them the attention they need. Keep that in mind when you procrastinate…that every second you wait to start something is a second closer to it’s demise.

P.S. quick note…please sign up below…I’m sending out newsletters every week with curated awesome motivational content from the web.

- Evan Sanders

Want my book for FREE? Sign up!








.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 { width: 600px;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 h2 {font-size: 24px; color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {font-size: 14px;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content h2:before { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"],.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form select,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"]:focus,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form select:focus,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea:focus {border: 1px solid #ff4300;}.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="submit"]:hover { background-color: #bebebe;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content { background: rgba(48,20,28, 0.7);}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 { background: url('http://thebettermanprojects.com/wp-co...') no-repeat scroll 50% 50% transparent; }

A Fiery Heart & Wicked Brain | On Watching It All Burn is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

Was I Nervous When I Started?

You can bet your money on it. I was as nervous as I could be when I started this project.

And yet, despite how nervous I was about putting myself out there after having written hundreds and hundreds of pages in personal journals, I always knew that it was going to work out. There was that little feeling inside of me once I got started that told me I was going to be writing for more than a basic 30 days.

Why am I writing about this?

I’m writing about this because one of the greatest lessons I have learned was about never ever giving up. I’ve learned that lesson through a massive amount of failures and a few great successes. But mostly, that lesson has been learned through the day in and day out grinding away at life. It’s about having that task list on your desk of things you know you need to do in order to be successful – and by the end of the day having everything crossed off. I’ve gone back to those lists, because no matter how motivated you are, you run out of gas towards the end of the day and it’s really easy to put it off for tomorrow. The problem with that is that it becomes a habit naturally – or things stack up on you and you can’t manage everything at once.

When you really start to sit down and think about it, we are all really incredibly complicated individuals. We all have three beings that make us whole – the past, the present, and the future – and all of those beings within us are very fluid. It’s very easy to dive into the past and stay there and even more obsess over the future without putting effort into the present. I’ve done all three myself, and even throughout my days now I have to fight to get right back into the present.

My mind wanders like crazy and is very capable of getting stuck. For me, it’s in the past. That’s the place where I can gain concrete shoes and have the hardest time moving into the present. I feel like for most people the past is more associated with negatives than positives. Maybe this is just because we remember things that are bad more than the times that were good? Maybe. But for me, I am trying to turn that around as much as possible – so the massive accomplishments heavily outweigh those bad times – and my past becomes a living representation of how much I have changed over the years and how much I reached for the stars…and once in a while…grabbed them.

I’ll give you a personal example from my life right now. About 7 or 8 weeks ago I finished my 100 day challenge which focused primarily around getting my health in line and eating the way I knew I should. The secondary goal was to achieve the best body I could. I started at 218lbs and 18% body fat and eventually dropped down to 189 at my lowest and around 7% body fat. This was a massive accomplishment for me – because for the first time I had wanted a huge dream and went out and created it. Not only that but I followed through on something big. For one reason or another I never really felt like I had dreamed massively and then constructed that into my reality. But I did. And yet, I still wasn’t satisfied.

Why?

I wasn’t satisfied because I knew I had more in the tank and I was also a bit disappointed that I didn’t come in looking how I wanted to. Yes the goal was mentally focused, but as time went on and I started to see what my potential was, the physical side came in as well. Since I was 12 years old I wanted to be in peak condition and had never made a solid effort at it until I was 25. Can you believe that? 13 years it took me to muster up enough effort to finally go after what I had wanted for such a long time.

So those 14 weeks ended – I was given a new mind and body – and yet I wanted to see the thing all the way through. I knew I was capable of more so I went out and hired a pro trainer who has amazing results with his clients and for himself personally. It was only after a conversation I had with my sister about being an athlete for most of our lives that it really all clicked for me. She reminded me that we are incredibly good at putting in hard work, but we also at times need someone there to watch us, critique us, and take care of the things that can distract our minds from the work. Keeping this in mind, I hired him to take care of my workouts and nutrition as well as be an outside set of eyes…and these past 4 weeks of work have been the best I have had in years. My form has dramatically improved – my strength has gone up – I have gained 7lbs of muscle over the past couple months and am sitting at 10% body fat…with 8 weeks left to go and starting to cut my calories – and I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt this time that if I keep it together and continue working hard, I will see that dream come true…the one I’ve had since I was 12 years old.

I think as you go on you become capable of more and more.

Some people go one way, others go a different way. The truly lucky ones blaze their own path. I feel like I have done that to some extent – creating my own path. At the same time, I think that there’s still a lot that I have to learn and to do to unshackle myself from the grips of fear and truly make this life my own.

There’s this interesting phenomenon when you are heading in your own direction to go make something that doesn’t exist yet. As you are walking down that path, you constantly are looking over your shoulder to the side at the path everyone else is walking…and even though your paths are diverging you can still see them walking in that direction. I’m still at at place where I can see in the distance that other path and the people on it – and every day I have a thought in my head that goes “Are you sure about this? Look at what they are doing…you don’t think you’re missing out?” That runs through my head constantly – but yet at the same time the thing I am most proud of is being able to continue walking on the path I am on instead of rushing through the bushes to the other path to join in on the safety of numbers.

It’s like when I went to the city this weekend – that thought ran through my head again. “Gosh it would be fun to live here and party during the week after work like most of my friends do and hangout and stuff.” But then I come back to what I am doing and what my goals are. I’m where I am at so I can save money, to find my own place, to go back to school etc. I guess since I have such a imaginative mind that I can convince myself of these ideas but eventually have to bring myself down a couple levels to where I know I should be.

I hope that makes sense?

So yes, after all this time writing, I am still nervous. I am nervous about going the way I am yet I am more excited about succeeding than anything. I think that’s the kicker. Your excitement has to outweigh your fear. Then, you can continue down the path you are on and solidify that belief in your vision or dreams or goals as time goes on. My life has changed significantly in the way that I am no longer repressing my fears or nerves, but rather embracing them…which allows me to keep them in my pocket as I move forward excitedly.

– Evan Sanders

Want my book for FREE? Sign up!








.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 { width: 600px;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 h2 {font-size: 24px; color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {font-size: 14px;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content p {color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { color: #ffffff;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-submit { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content h2:before { background-color: #ff4300;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"],.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form select,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="text"]:focus,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form select:focus,.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form textarea:focus {border: 1px solid #ff4300;}.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 form input[type="submit"]:hover { background-color: #bebebe;}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 .snp-newsletter-content { background: rgba(48,20,28, 0.7);}
.snp-pop-10380 .snp-newtheme1 { background: url('http://thebettermanprojects.com/wp-co...') no-repeat scroll 50% 50% transparent; }

Was I Nervous When I Started? is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.

The Last Chapter Of 2014

On clean white sheets of paper, write your picture perfect ending to 2014. 

I remember January of this past year very well. In fact, because of some events that went down a few days after the new year, this year will be hard to forget. They say that life works in mysterious ways and often like a bow and arrow. You get pulled farther and farther back, and if you keep it together long enough and prevent yourself from snapping, you are going to get launched farther forward than you could possible imagine. This year that happened to me in many ways. This year has been one of growth, development, wisdom and dreaming. For me, 2014 has been by far the best year I have ever had even though it was full of the most challenging times of my life. 

Funny how that works eh?

I think Eleanor Roosevelt said it best…

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

In many ways this past year was an absolute disaster for me. There were times of vicious anxiety, feeling completely alone, troubles with my health and not being able to know who to trust except for a select few. Things went as far as they really ever have into the black, but at the same time, I could say the opposite was true. 

With the greatest of my defeats have come the biggest opportunities for victory, and in many cases, I seized those opportunities. 

Life is going to kick your butt quite often. There’s no bigger foot to the seat of the pants than the one life offers. You won’t see it.  You won’t expect it. You will just get completely booted and left on the ground. Honestly, there’s nothing you can really do except for roll over and get back up. Trying to figure out why some things happen that are completely out of our control is a prescription for insanity. Things are just going to happen and they are going to fall apart. That is the way of the world. But opportunities will also slam right into you and you just have to grab them. 

There are some things, I am totally convinced, that you are not supposed to know why they happened…they just did. 

“It’s a new year. It’s time to start again. Stop thinking about what you’re going to do and start doing it. It’s time to live your life and be who you are. Forget about whatever happened in 2013 and just move on. Take risks and be yourself, you only have on life , and it’s time to make the most of it. Make a new year’s resolution and this time achieve it no matter what the cost in.” 

I posted that quote above on my Instagram this past year and I think it couldn’t be more spot on. But we have to do this every day. We have to change those words to new day and yesterday. We have to stop thinking in terms of years worth of change. That is why a vast majority of resolutions fail – they are far too big and too bold to be taken as small bites throughout 365 days. 

But my favorite part is that last line. “Make a new year’s resolution and this time achieve it no matter what the cost is.” 

This year I learned about the costs of my dreams. Oh and trust me, there was a price to pay. The price was me giving up my ego thinking I could do it all by myself, many many hours, and developing an attitude of being a novice in what I thought I knew so I could give myself the opportunity to learn every day. I had to push myself as hard as I could to get to the 2.0 version of my own self…and then continued on the trek to 3.0. 

What happens when you achieve a goal or set out on a path to achieve one is you find that you have more in you and that your best can constantly be increased. You find out that you are capable of more than you can imagine. When this happens just trust it. It’s really easy to start wondering if what you are doing is the right thing or not. Get some opinions from outside eyes who are trained and have the results you want and then continue down the path. It’s really easy to lose faith in what you are doing when you are venturing out into the unknown. Whenever this happens I try to remember the great explorers of old and how they traversed thousands of miles and great unknowns only fueled by faith that it would turn out and they would find something incredible. 

That is where faith outperforms anything in this world. It trumps hope, determination, perseverance….and pretty much anything else. Love is right up there as well but it’s used typically for other things than faith based obstacles. 

Faith taught me how to stretch myself and work on becoming a better man day in and day out. Without that this year, who knows what type of shape I would be in. I would probably still be a wreck. 

We are given the greatest lessons exactly when we need them. We are driven to the point of breaking but never crack. We are hammered at and shaped to become the person we need to be – not the person who we think we should be. There is a whole lot of direction you can give this life but then there are hands which shape and mold you as you go. I guess from all of the things that have happened to me throughout my life, I just believe this to be true and far beyond simple consequence. 

You have a month left. On those fresh sheets of paper, write the story not only for the year, but for the rest of your life. 

- Evan Sanders 

 

The Last Chapter Of 2014 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

No related posts.