Evan Sanders's Blog, page 35

When I Found My Vibe

I don’t know why it just clicked, but it did.

For a long time I’ve been searching for ways that make me the most comfortable in expressing this journey of mine.

I looked at what other people were doing – naturally compared myself to them in many ways – and because I hadn’t really felt that “click” moment I started to be a bit hard on myself.

Why can’t you just do that?

Why don’t you figure this out…look how they did it?

These conversations kept popping up in my head and made it pretty difficult for me to really understand which way to turn with my work.

But being in Barcelona helped me discover something. I’m not a city person. In fact, I’m far far far from a city person. It reminded me of the reality I had learned when I was in LA, but now it’s really cemented in truth.

I belong in the trees. I belong in the mountains.

But here’s where it clicked.

I belong on the roads that are not well traveled.

And this is where it really started to make sense for me.

For about 6 years now, I’ve been expressing this journey into the depths of my soul. This journey is naturally something that is completely new. In one way, it’s exciting. In another, it’s dangerous and exhilarating. Everything is new. Every single day is fresh. There’s really no such thing as routine and I continue to create and create because I have fresh subject matter every single day.

What is it about journeying into the depths of the mountains that excites me so much?

Going off trail.

That’s where I really come alive. That’s where my most excitement comes alive. The times that I have felt amazing were the times that I was doing something that not many people had done. Finding my spiritual spot up in Calaveras Big Trees deep in the Sierra’s, hiking off trail in Tahoe and finding the tree that had been struck by lighting and so many more experiences.

It’s the adventure that excites my soul.

But what is it about being in an inner city with thousands of people that starts to dilute that excitement? It’s that there’s tons of people there already. There’s no secret spot. Are there of course places you can find that are amazing (monuments etc?) Of course. I’ve been lucky to see many of them.

But there’s nothing for just me.

And because there’s nothing for just me, it makes it hard for me to disconnect from the chaos of a city and fall into that sense of peace and quiet.

And I need that.

So as I continue into Portugal, I’m actually going to a place far off the main map of a tourist and exploring a coastline that has some of the most beautiful surfing beaches in the world. Adventure. Exploration. Solitude.

And when I do meet the few that are around the connection is going to be deeper.

But how does this translate into what I’m doing with the rest of my work?

I don’t want to do what the other person has done. I could yes but that’s not what I really get a lot of excitement out of. I want to do what no one else is doing…and do it well.

So as much as I am learning from others, I want to be creating my own masterpieces.

And, I think with this realization, I’m on my way.

-Evan Sanders

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Up Around The Bend

I’ve started to make decisions that I’ve needed to make for quite some time now.

They’ve been sitting in the background and I’ve stalled and stalled on going forward with them because I knew they were going to be challenging and take a lot of effort.

But lately, one by one, I’ve committed to them and I’m watching things unfold.

My body needs a break from lifting. I don’t actually think I’ve ever given it much of a break. Even during the “weeks off” I had in Italy which was a first in a years, I wasn’t really taking time off from lifting. I was doing band work, running hard, and then found a gym in my final week and a half there.

Mentally, I need to step away from that for a while.

Being in the water surfing is going to teach me a whole new world.

A world of fluidity. A world about going with things instead of resisting them.

You may think that sounds peculiar, but really when you spend so much time in the gym learning “resistance training” that shows up in other aspects of your life. You try to power through things. Hell, even the mentality that I was brought up with as an athlete taught me that. You’re going to be in pain…keep going.

In some ways, I think that’s not the worst thing in the world. I think we are much more capable than we imagine. But when you are really getting the sense that you need to slow down a bit, you have to slow down.

I need to take some time off.

I need to regroup and recharge for a while. I think with me there’s an inherent fear that everything will just completely fall apart if I stop.

Well…that’s really not true at all.

I will come back better, rested, and stronger. When I bounce over to Portugal, I’m going to give myself that time.

That time to completely disconnect and just go have fun for a bit. I need that break. I need that time to just veg. out.

There’s going to be something about getting up on a wave and feeling it push underneath me. I can’t wait. I can’t wait for that moment I catch my first barrel. I’ve heard that being “in the green room” is one of the most incredible experiences you will ever have.

There are good things coming up around the bend.

I’m ready for them.

-Evan Sanders

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You Get This Small Window

Found.

Found what I was looking for.

Not a place, not a person, but an idea.

An idea that has been growing in my mind since this morning the moment I discovered it. But I have to take you back to a time and place I don’t really like going. I have to take you back to when I lost my first true love – baseball.

Ever since I was little, that’s all I ever wanted to be. But I didn’t have small ambitions. I wanted to be the greatest pitcher that ever lived. I wanted to be what they call a “G.O.A.T” – Greatest Of All Time. I’ll just be honest with you about that. These were my goals. I used to stay up late at night reading baseball books with my favorite heroes. I would collect baseball cards. I would play every single day with my dog in the yard and when I started actually getting into competitive sports, I would turn into this relentless young man standing on the mound.

Was my stuff better than everyone elses?

No.

But I don’t think anyone was as competitive as I was.

I loved winning. I hated losing. I also never forgot the players who made me look bad…because while they had their moment, I was coming back for them.

There was this inner drive and focus that only existed when I stood up on the mound, ready to do battle, commanding the field, and looking to lead my team to victory.

Every pitch.

Every batter.

Every inning.

It all mattered to me.

It mattered more than anything else.

Throughout my Junior and Senior year of high school I loved the feeling of knowing big games were coming up and I was “the go to guy” to close games out (Junior) and the main starter (Senior) year. I put in the work every single day to be the best I could be. I worked my butt off actually because I had the seeds of belief in my mind that if I continued to work hard – and I was told this as well – I would have a long career in the Pro’s if the heavens would have it.

I’ll never forget facing my old roommate the day when my arm popped. 

Instinctively I knew this was the end. I just knew. While no one could really find anything wrong with my arm besides stress fractures – which healed – and a possible bone spur – which wasn’t the problem I just knew that my days as a baseball player had peaked and were headed in a downward trend.

While I did go to college to play, I wasn’t ever the same.

But that drive never left me. That desire to get better and to push myself carried me throughout a couple of seasons. I was thirsty to compete with the best and wanted to mow them down as us pitchers like to say.

But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t because every single day I felt more and more pain in my arm…

And eventually I had to have the hardest conversation I would ever have about sports with my head coach and hang up the cleats.

Fast forward to where I am now.

Lately, I’ve been listening to a book called “Relentless: From Good, To Great, To Unstoppable” by Tim Grover who was Michael Jordan’s trainer for over 15 years.

Sure some of it is about sports, but most of it is actually about the mentality of the three different types of people in this world: Coolers, Closers, and Cleaners.

If you have any competitive drive, you need to pick up this book. But let me tell you what it did for me. It allowed me to re-identify with that side of me that was misplaced the day my arm popped back into high school. I couldn’t trust my body anymore, and the make it even worse, my gut knew that it was the end.

But that competitive drive to be the best at something has still remained. Lately, it has been speaking to me more and more as I am starting to make changes in my life regarding all of the things I want to do with myself. I’ve heard this voice of competition – my greatest outlet for this massive amount of focus and inner drive – ringing in my ears and I haven’t been able to ignore it.

And this morning, I discovered the problem.

I don’t know what I’m doing this all for. 

You see, when I started all of this, I had a 30 day goal to write the daily lessons I was learning in becoming a better man.

Bang, knocked that out of the park.

But what came next was more chaos than anything. In fact, there were sometimes long long periods of time where I didn’t write at all because I really didn’t have as much of a reason to. As I have grown this project to a few hundred thousand people, I have an audience and I am creating content, but at the end of the day I really didn’t know what for.

I know that it is helping people. I know that I am learning as well an that I am appreciative for all of the lessons I have come by. But I still didn’t know why.

Pretty big moment I would have to say.

I want to become the greatest encourager of all time.

I want to inspire people to act. I want to move their spirit. I want to get those who are in the worst of times out of the darkness and into the light.

But I don’t want to do it in a self help type of way.

I want to do it from the heart. I want to do it by telling stories. I want to do it by putting myself in front of a camera and speaking to everyone out there who is searching for a helping hand. And eventually, I want to do it standing in front of thousands and thousands of people and get a crowd to roar.

I don’t want to do it for the fame. I want to do it because I want to see just how big of a ripple I can create in this world time after time when I put the messages of love and light out there.

And for me to be myself, I have to unearth this inner drive once again to help me go to that place.

I’ve made contact with it again…and damn it feels good.

-Evan Sanders

 

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If You Want To Work With Me

Hi!

So you want to work with me?! That’s great! I am incredibly excited to hear what’s going on for you, see if there’s a possibility of us working together, and to really get you headed in the direction you want to go.

Let me tell you a little bit about what my coaching is all about.

If we had to get down to the foundation of my work with you, my job as your coach is to help you move through your blindspots (places where you need development that you might not actually see), the issues that currently have you feeling “stuck” and to help you develop the type of life you’ve always wanted for yourself.

That’s at it’s minimum.

So how do we do that together?

Well, we work together in a few different areas. We look at what’s going on with your thoughts and emotions, your body and behavior, your relationships, and your environment and spirituality.

In diving into those different areas of life, it becomes pretty clear about where you are at, who you are as a human being as a whole and how to get to where you want to go. We all have areas we need to improve upon, and the best part about having a coach (I have coaches of my own) is that you have a trained set of eyes that actually knows what will help you grow as a person, and not just someone giving you advice because that’s what they heard somewhere.

Here are some of the different ways we can work with each other.

1. Email Coaching Program

Honestly, this is one of my favorite programs of all. The moment you sign up for the email coaching program I send you an in depth questionnaire designed to cover all of the things we talked about above, and after you get those answers back to me we start our coaching relationship. You have access to working with me 7 days a week and I always get back to you within 24 hours.

In this program, I give you practices, self reflection exercises, self observation exercises and resources that you will need to continue your development. A lot of people are on the go and/or it matches best with their finances in the best possible way. Currently I only have a few spots left in this program so if you’re interested in signing up, the link will follow!

http://thebettermanprojects.com/email-coaching-2/

This program is just $49/month

2. Email Coaching Program + 1 on 1 Phone/Skype Calls

Take everything you just heard about the email coaching program and throw in 1 or 2 phone / Skype calls every single week and you’re getting very very close to working with me in a full developed coaching program (to follow in the next section). These 1 on 1 sessions bring an extra depth to the development conversation. I encourage everyone I work with to at least jump on the phone with me, if they can, once a month because of the value it brings to the conversation and we can typically get about 10x more in a single session than emailing back and forth.

If you want to mix in one or two a month then great! That would be my ideal middle ground for those who are really interested in moving forward quickly.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=J36RFUDNZLQU4

As a special deal, I have cut down the rates on 1 on 1 phone/skype calls for those who are in the email coaching program. Normally 1 on 1 sessions go for $150 an hour but they are discounted to $100. Please inquire about this deal!

$49/month + $100 sessions

3. Fully Customized Coaching Programs

This is where all of the action happens. When you work with me in a fully customized coaching program, I develop a tailor-made program for you after our intake session and bring everything I have for you to the table. Not only do you get a 7-10 page document (the program itself in full detail) but we continue working with each other weekly and move into and through the issues that are really challenging your life.

The development program itself looks like the following…

Weekly Skype / Phone coaching sessions over 3 to 6 months depending on the program
Tailor-made / personalized development plan
Specific goals and outcomes for your development
An in depth look at your current view of the world
An offer of a new view that will change your perspective and outlook on the world
Specific practices that will help you cultivate your outcomes
Self reflection, awareness, and observation exercises to keep you on plan and developing
Resources (books, audio, speeches etc)
Support – 7 days a week support  via email with anything that comes up in between our sessions

 

As a baseline in one of these programs, I don’t like to meet less than 2 times a month because the pacing of the program seems to slow way down.

If you are interested in pricing on these programs, please contact me directly in this email and we can even jump on a free phone call together to discuss what’s going on and further details.

So that’s all about my coaching programs and I would love to hear back from you in an email with what you’re looking to get into! For those who are interested in the email coaching program, click the link and sign up (there’s an informational video attached to it as well) and for everyone else who is interested in possible doing 1 on 1 sessions or even a full program with me, hit reply and send me your questions and thoughts!

All the best to you and looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

Don’t hesitate to ask!

You can reach me personally at the contact form below!

[contact-form-7]

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Creating Waves

There are some decisions you know will change you for the rest of your life.

You don’t even have to make the decision to actually know this beforehand. You can feel it. You can feel it deep within your bones and you just “know.”

You know that if you head that way that something great is going to come out of it. You don’t know what that will be exactly. You don’t know when it will likely take its form. But you just know that’s the way you are supposed to head.

I’m in this place right now.

After having come out of what feels like a bit of a hibernation for a couple of months – internal hibernation I suppose – I realize that the decisions I’m about to make are going to impact me for the rest of my life. Today will be one of those rare moments where I actually give some specifics about what I’ve been dealing with.

Wolves.

As your audience size grows, there are people who come out to get you. I wasn’t exactly ready for this. I wasn’t ready for the things that I create to be misconstrued by people who don’t have the ability to really even take on perspectives that aren’t of their own. I wasn’t prepared for someones blindness to intention and the resulting attack.

But over the past few days, I’ve realized that I’ve needed a perspective shift.

On one hand – you can focus on the few who take something good and try to make it into something bad…or, you could focus on the many many people who are supportive and appreciate of what you do.

That’s been one thing that I’ve been thinking about.

But as yesterday came to a completion, I realized it goes much farther than that.

The moment I put something out there it doesn’t necessarily just belong to me anymore. It become everyone else’s. All o those eyes land on it and it goes through thousands of filters and interpretations. All I can do is put my best work out there with a great intention and then learn how to let it go.

And I think that’s been the lesson that keeps on coming back to me over and over again – you have to continue to learn how to let things go.

For a while, I’ve been nervous about taking the next step into gathering a larger and larger audience because I’ve been nervous about more wolves coming out for me.

That’s just a fear that I’ve truly been dealing with.

But yesterdays perspective shift of continuing to go on my path and not be derailed by praise or by criticism really locked me back into place. I meditated with the fear. I worked with the fear all day. And eventually, I just came to a place of “I would rather go out on my terms than be dictated by something that may not even be that bad.”

So I’m going to create more ripples.

Big ones.

Like that huge rock you throw into a lake…waves.

This is what I have in me and I have the ability to do it. I can’t go on throughout life worry about what everyone else is going to think after the wave has been created. I just have to make it and leave the commentary up to those who feel it. For me, it’s about making the next wave.

Create…don’t look back.

Create…don’t look back.

Forward.

Waves.

So this is one of the fears I’ve been working through.

The second thing is not so much a fear, but rather a feeling and a pull I’ve been getting over the past month +.

There’s been a huge pull to go surf in Portugal for a while and learn how to be fluid with a wave itself. Throughout this year fluidity is one of the biggest learning points for me and I’ve been working on bringing more of that into my life. But to develop the practice of being fluid in practice – surfing – is just going to do something for me that I really can’t understand.

So there’s that angle, but a spiritual angle that has been calling me as well. When I hear people talk about their experiences with surfing it’s almost a religious experience. Being completely in tune with the ocean as if it’s alive around them. When I close my eyes and think back to my days in the water, I’ve never been more clear in my entire life.

For me, it’s almost bringing out my inner child again – the kid that used to play for an entire day in the water skim boarding and bodysurfing his life away. The inner child is excited, so I couldn’t be more excited myself.

I have stood in the face of fear many times and there have been moments I have lost.

Lost out on the day because I decide to burrow myself under the sheets and put off dealing with it. But I always come back to face it again. I know there’s no way around it. Another effort. Another round in the ring.

And eventually…you land a punch that allows you to move through it.

I’m through.

-Evan Sanders

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The Value Of Stepping Away

This is the first time I’ve been able to step away from it all.

It’s just me.

The time I have spent here in Spain has been more about me understanding what all of this is about than going on wild crazy adventures and doing things night after night. I haven’t felt that urge yet. I don’t know if I ever will. This isn’t just one big vacation to me – I am still working hard and still run into the same challenges to create what I want to create on the daily.

It’s just me living my life in a completely different place, and in a way, that in of itself has given me a lot more light and love.

But sometimes I need to wander off into the quiet and really understand what’s going on. When I really think about it, I haven’t had this much time on my own ever. This is the first time this has ever happened and I’m sure you could understand that there are plenty of things coming up on the daily that are new and fresh experiences that both make my smile and challenge me deeply.

I’ve made decisions about how to do things and demons that I’m going to tackle. This part of the path isn’t going to be easy but it’s going to be worth it in the end. As much as I have seen around the bend in many ways I also understand that there are many things I have to leave behind that are still effecting me now.

I brought some of those things with me to Europe – naturally you can’t escape them just by moving – and it wasn’t the right time back at home to really settle them…but now it is.

Each of us have pieces of ourselves that if we let our grip on them go, we actually gain more in the end. I think there’s this fear that things “won’t be the way they were” because we hold onto that sense of familiarity – even if it’s slightly negative – and that gives us some comfort.

Reminds me of the line that goes the devil you know.

People would rather choose the devil they knew rather than the one they didn’t.

For me, I understand that there are things that I have held onto that I really need to let drift away. They are far past their due date and it’s time for them to go. It’s going to take some conviction on my part but I know I can do it.

Don’t worry about walking alone for a while.

You need to escape the constant business of life in order to find what you need to find within yourself. I think it’s one of the greatest reasons why people are so stressed out – they don’t have any time to do some soul searching. Even vacations become and opportunity to race around and there are never really moments to just sit and think.

I’ve been doing a lot of that.

It’s been giving me answers that are interesting in many ways.

And I’m listening. I’m listening hard.

-Evan Sanders

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She’s Been Calling Me

She’s been calling me. The ocean has been whispering my name.

When I think back to it, my love affair with the ocean started when I was very very young playing in the warm waters of Kauai until I had to come inside to eat. I wanted to be out there all day playing in the water and riding the waves.

A few years ago when I was thinking about making transitions, I was thinking about moving down to San Diego and taking up surfing as part of something that would help me develop as a man. I had been working on bringing fluidity into my life for quite some time and there’s no better practice in the world than surfing for that.

I ended up not moving to San Diego, but rather packed everything up and took to the streets of Europe over the past couple of months in Barcelona and Florence…and yet those whispers came back as I looked to my next location – Portugal.

And what did I discover?

Portugal is not only beautiful, but boasts some of the best and most consistent waves in the world.

So as I thought about the months coming ahead – especially in making a decision of traveling throughout Portugal surfing vs. braving a northern Europe winter – I decided to follow my instincts in surf every single day, wait for the snow to melt, and then continue on my journey.

But why the change?

Intuition.

There have been aspects about this trip that have rocked me (in very good ways). But rocked nonetheless. As much as I love Barcelona, I was reminded of the inner city feel of downtown Los Angles and knew that it wasn’t the place for me to be.

I belong in the ocean. I belong in the mountains. I belong wandering off the beaten path and into the woods. That’s where my heart has always been and that’s where it needs to be. I’ve never been one for the party scene or going out and getting wasted till 6am.

That’s never been me.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m an 80yr old man at heart and love doing different things – spending time with people wandering, exploring, adventuring, and learning as much about them as I possibly can. It’s not real easy to do things like that when you’re yelling over a loud bass in a club full of flashing lights getting lit.

But I digress.

Intuition tells me that doing this is going to lead me down a path that is going to change my life.

It’s hard to explain, but after I lost baseball, I lost contact with something that was really really important to me. I lost contact with a feeling – this intense focus and emotion surrounding being in the zone. The world closed off. Everything turned black around me except for what I was focusing on. This drive came from within – very hard to explain – and everything just turned into slow motion.

I don’t know how to really explain this, but I know that this is going to come back into my life when I first start getting up on a wave.

So that’s what I’m going to go do. I’m going to do that because it feels right.

I’m going to do that because I know it’s good for me.

So as the weeks close in Barcelona and I continue moving forward with my dreams and visions, I know that what’s right around the bend is going to be beautiful.

Off we go.

-Evan Sanders

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The Rose That Came From The Dark

99% of it you will never see.

The countless hours of struggle, work, little wins, and decisions made. You will never see them because they aren’t when the lights are on. Those decisions are made in the dark. No one else is watching – it’s just you.

No one is there to keep you accountable – just you.

You are the only one looking at yourself in the mirror.

You are the only one answering to the decisions you have made.

You are the only one who is going to be able to break free from the chains that you have often laid down yourself.

It’s just you.

Only you.

And you prepare for a moment that is coming you just don’t know when. That moment when the lights turn on and you have a split second to grasp an opportunity or let it float away. Those moments come very rarely…1% of the time.

And it’s in the dark that you get ready for those opportunities. You teach yourself to be ready. You prepare and prepare and prepare. You forge yourself into the type of person who can take on that chance when it comes. You practice and practice your craft – no applause – no cameras – no reporters.

Nothing.

Just you.

In this place, you can get stagnant if you let yourself. The lights are off remember? It’s easy to hide in the dark. It’s easy to climb under the covers and sleep it off when you’re tired. No one’s looking. No one’s there. Just you and the inner whispers telling you which way to go. It’s a place where your heart and mind get challenged every single day.

It’s a place where you have to reign in your own self and learn how to master everything you are.

How can I harness my passion when I feel like the spark and fire aren’t there right now?

How can I turn this anger and rage into something constructive and powerful?

How can I write my past in a way that can inspire others and melt the walls around their hearts?

All of these things are within you. You just have to tap into them. You have to give them a chance to grow – to flourish – to bloom.

That’s when a rose grows in the dark – the rarest of all flowers.

Something beautiful out of a room robbed of light.

So when you do have that flash of a moment.

The whole world will see how beautiful it is when you grow from the dark.

-Evan Sanders

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In The Face Of Fear

I think for a long time I let fear make a lot of my decisions.

Not in the sense of not making decisions at all, but making half-measured decisions. Ones that would allow me to still play in the game, but not really be the person going for it all the way.

There’s been an inner dialogue going on lately that has been very honest, pretty intense, and motivating in many ways. It has been telling me that I’m not doing what I’m capable of doing, and as painfully honest as that is, it’s right.

I’m not.

I’m not really sure when this started to happen, but alter having recovered from a brutal Winter I kept cruising at about 70% of my potential. I would push enough to make things happen, but let off the gas enough to really make the impact and difference I was seeking to. Then when this same inner conversation would come up again, I would push it off.

But it kept coming back time and time again.

Until recently, there’s actually been enough space and time to completely sit still and listen and hear it all the way out.

It’s not a discouraging voice, but it is commanding. In many ways, it has set me back on a course I had known was the right one to take and helped push me to do what I’ve needed to do. This hasn’t come without some resistance – breeding inaction and procrastination at times – but things have changed as these past two months have gone on.

My plans have changed.

My ideas have changed of what I want to do with this journey.

I’ve been pulled in a direction of going somewhere completely new and shortening the amount of time I am in each city so I can double the places I want to go to and see more.

There’s this drive to witness more and more…to be a part of a new place…and when it feels right to leave.

There’s a fear in me that has always existed since I was young…the fear of the unknown. And yet, at the same time, it’s the thing that brings out the most courage in me as I am absolutely fascinated by what I do not know and always want to discover more.

But this fear of the unknown has stopped me from putting feet in the water in specific places in which I knew I should be diving into.

It’s held me back in some ways – albeit that I’m going off in other directions in others – and kept me from making moves that I’ve aways wanted to make.

But that changed over this past week as I’ve started to line up more and more things and just say…

“To hell with it…I’m doing this.”

Once I made that choice, I knew that I could bring my consistency and patience into the game as well and with all three of those things running together, they couldn’t be stopped.

I feel like I have run off deep into the forest on a grand journey to discover what existed deep within the woods. This is actually pretty familiar with what I experienced one time backpacking deep within the Sierra’s going fishing. I went as far as I could, crossed rivers, and continued on even farther to see what was always around the bend and to discover water that had most likely never been fished.

What I found were places that brought a spiritual sense to my life and gave me great peace.

It’s in this same journey that I’ve realized it’s time for me to continue going on despite having pulled off for a while. It’s time for me to dive into these new avenues and discover what it means to not only be a beginner again…but to also learn how to master them.

I believe without a shadow of a doubt that I will continue to grow and morph into what I need to become. But I must never forget that a lot of that is going to come with my own personal efforts and answering the callings that come forth.

I’m listening.

I’m listening to it all.

For some time I’ve heard this calling and now I need to answer it fully.

Into the wild we go.

-Evan Sanders

The post In The Face Of Fear appeared first on The Better Man Project.

But My Love, There Is No Turning Back

For some time now, I’ve been thinking about this idea of being on a path.

That sounds pretty mundane, but I’ve been taking it through the depths and really trying to understand this idea of journey. 

This path I am on, it is ever-changing…tough at times…scary as all hell at moments and truly something that is forcing me to grow. I put myself in this position. I put myself here because I Knew I had hit a huge plateau and needed to take things in a different direction to be truly happy with my life. I had stopped growing and was loosing my sense of umphhh. 

So, here I am.

I think there’s a misconception about taking steps backward. This is what I’ve really been thinking of.

There’s some idea that on your path of life, there are steps forward and steps backward. If you make a mistake, you head in the wrong direction – backwards – on your path. If you make the right choice, you head in the forward direction. But this all seems pretty odd to me. How can you go backwards? Because by taking an action, you’re already moving forwards. You’ve decided to do something – for better or for worse – and you are going to be changed by it no matter what. You can’t go back from making that choice – back to the person you were before. You have essentially grown no matter what choice you made.

I’m not saying that there aren’t choices that have consequences – there are – sometimes horrible ones.

But as tough as that choice was – or as horrible as that outcome was – you’ve still moved forward through the story. If you thought of it like a book…you turn the page to the next piece of the story. You can’t turn 50 pages back and start from there because the protagonist made a bad choice. That would be the most confusing book in the world.

It’s all part of the journey.

It’s all part of moving forward in life.

You can’t go back. You can’t change the past.

All you can do is continue moving forward on your path and make better decisions in the future. But it’s all forward movement. It’s all part of the story. It’s all a gift.

-Evan Sanders

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