Evan Sanders's Blog, page 37

As The Wind Takes Me Off The Path

Finally, late a night, walking through the streets of Florence, it hit me.

I’m here.

I’m living here. The journey has begun. 

Tears of happiness started pouring down my face as I walked home from my favorite restaurant in the world – a place that served a pizza I’ve been talking about returning to for years now. The little picture on my wall taken from above the city was no longer something that I had just thought about and wished for, it was actually here.

Needless to say, things got pretty emotional last night.

This place feels inviting to me, but probably in a way that most people don’t get to experience. The hustle of tourists wandering the streets taking driveby pictures of the scenes has a very particular vibe to it. Everyone is going somewhere but hardly few are really there. They don’t stop and just revel in what they are looking at. They are capturing a moment on their phone, one that they will forever be able to have in their endless stash of photos, but they will have never actually have been there.

This is what I don’t want to do.

So I wander. I put away the tour guides, I don’t have a plan, and I wander the streets to wherever my heart whispers to go next.

This morning I ran in a particular direction (pro tip – drop a pin on your phone where home is it comes in handy haha) and just ran. I ended up miles away from home having seen just one vein of the city, with 30 days left to explore the rest.

Just go.

Just soak it all in.

Just be here.

I think there’s a tendency to be intimidated by being in new places you have absolutely no experience in whatsoever. There’s a lot of the inner critic screaming because everything is new. But after spending the day settling down into my place and getting my feet on the ground, I have come back to the realization that people are really the same everywhere.

Different skin maybe. Different languages. Different clothes.

But the thing that holds true is that everyone is dealing with something, everyone is fight for something – whatever that may be – and everyone is experiencing those same emotions as I am.

The happiness. The suffering. The nervousness. The list could go on and on.

So as I spent an hour in the grocery store trying to figure out how to buy food and hovering over an old Italian woman learning how to properly bag produce with a plastic glove and printable tickets…I realized I had to slow down.

You’re new here…watch and learn. See what they are doing? Just do that. 

When things are different, we can either adapt or complain.

It’s not going to be the way it is at home. You can’t just roll into a Costco and buy tons of chicken, lots of turkey, and produce galore. No, you have to go to mini-markets, speak with the workers and request amounts, have a conversation and continue moving forward. In those moments where you struggle with language, you might just want to shut off and forget doing things altogether – or try to hammer things into submission by being stuck in your ways…

But I’ve realized, even just in the two days of being here, how much others love it when you actually really try. Always keep a smile on your face as your butchering someone else’s language – they will know that you’re actually making an effort out of respect to them instead of almost everyone else who massacres the pronunciation of a specific brand of cheese without the awareness or remorse.

So as I continue to wander the streets, no matter how lost I get I never really feel lost.

Because it’s not about capturing 100 perfect shots in the 2 days that I’m here. It’s about something more. It’s about feeling the energy of Florence coursing through my veins, walking the same cobbled streets of some of the most famous artists and people in history, and letting that energy pump through my heart.

I didn’t come here for candid shots and selfie sticks…I came here because I knew that life was waiting for me. That sense of freedom – that beautiful breeze that uplifts anyone who is seeking inspiration and love for everything again. Those winds are there, but most are moving to heavily to feel that.

I can feel it, because I’m lighter than I’ve ever been.

So if I feel like I need to turn left…I do.

Because when I do, I land right in the perfect place.

here.

-Evan Sanders

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As I See Around The Bend

My entire life, I’ve been able to see around the bend.

I never really believed what I was seeing at first, but as time went on and things started to come more to light as I found pieces within myself that I had been out of touch with for a long time, I realized that these things around the corner were real.

Some may call that vision. Others, the future.

The word to describe it didn’t mean much to me. What mattered more to me than anything else was the growing belief that I could in fact create whatever the hell I wanted to make. For a long time, these visions eluded me. I didn’t have the ability to sit down and dedicate myself to something until I saw it all the way through.

Was that because I lacked work ethic? No. I had been working hard at things my entire life. It’s because I lacked something far far more important.

Belief.

Belief that whatever I happened to see around the bend would come to fruition if I trusted that it would. That first journey, the journey into the fitness world and making something come to life that took over 7 years of time…that was the first moment where I truly understood that a vision executed over a period of time (unknown) inserted with infinite amounts of patience could be created.

I learned another lesson along the way.

Goals have timelines – things that are accomplishable in the foreseeable future.

But dreams…dreams are beyond your scope of time and understanding.

They are fluid. You don’t really have a sense of when they will come to be…but if you have the understanding that it’s only the honest nature of patience that will get you there…they will happen. They happen on their own terms…not yours.

You have to become something else in order to make them happen. Not changing who you are fundamentally as a person, but changing the way you show up in the world. Your story has to change. You have to write a new one. You have to be willing to let yourself drop all of the bad habits, adopt new techniques, acquire new skills, take new risks and run straight into fears in order to start morphing yourself into the type of person that can cross that line where the dream is.

Without that attitude, it will never happen.

But here’s something else. You have to get really familiar with pain and fear. Pain in the sense that these moments of growth aren’t always going to be pretty. You will have addictions you need to drop (there are so many different types of this) and darkness that you will have to let go of. At times, they will feel like they are ripping out of you and you will want to gravitate back. But you can’t. You can’t because in order to achieve that dream…you have to keep saying to yourself, “I have to become something beyond what I am now.”

Running from fear gets you nowhere.

The truth is, you are who you are. The things you are susceptible to. The darkness that lives within you. The ways you disintegrate under stress. That’s you. The sooner you can accept those things and come to terms with that, the faster you will move forward.

It’s my sincerest belief that the reason why most people never move past where they are is because they don’t want to admit to themselves the black wolf that lives within them. When you can begin to accept that it lives within you, and start giving it the care that it needs, you can tame it. It will never go away, and at times you will slip up and make mistakes – but you can’t take it personally that it starts to rise with excitement when you start letting yourself go.

It’s not personal. It’s simply the darkness that lives within each of us.

Coming to terms with this place and accepting that it’s there gives you the opportunity walk alongside it – even use it – when necessary.

But running from this wolf – no matter how you do it – it will tear you apart from the inside. There’s many ways it will manifest that pain…but it will. Trust that. I’m sure you already know this.

Separate yourself from the past.

Never rest on it. In fact, burn it. Burn it to the ground. There’s nothing to be gained in looking back day after day wishing or worrying about things that you can never go back to. The good moments – smile at them – but they are gone. The bad moments – cry if you need to – and move on.

The past is done.

There’s only what’s to be created now. You can completely reinvent your entire life with the daily stroke of the brush if you stop looking at the paintings you’ve already made. No matter how good they are or how bad they are, they are finished.

Right here. Right now.

That’s all that matters.

Dissolve your fears with love and compassion. Elevate your faith by heading straight into what scares you. There’s nothing to be gained by living a life where you don’t go for it.

Dive in.

Be fearless.

-Evan Sanders

P.S. My email coaching program is closing down! I have 2 SPOTS LEFT! The program gives you access to your own certified life coach – me – 7 days a week to help you work through any issue and start moving in the right direction. If you want some more information about it please click the following link http://619.be/EmailCoachingBMP or the picture below and sign up.

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Take Me, Dear Wind

Take me, dear wind.

Take this heart of mine. I know you will hold it kindly.

Do not expect any anchors from me dear wind.

I’ve ripped them from me.

Nothing left shackling me down.

Nothing left for me here.

So take me dear wind…I’m yours.

–

9 days.

Theres something peaceful about these moments right now. As much as I’m picking up on all sorts of strange vibes coming from many different people – one’s that I’m in contact with and one’s that I’m not – there’s a peace to all of this. Things are coming into full view and I’m coming across a reality that’s impossible to ignore.

The moments are arriving.

There’s this big building of energy that I can feel in my pelvis. A wave. An energy. It’s hard to describe. Btu what I can tell you is that I feel like I’ve been primed to step into this moment for my entire life.

For years I worked on something that I didn’t really have much understanding of at the time. When I picked my head up, everything looked a lot different than what I thought I was going to have – and the truth is what I have now is far far greater than what I ever had imagined.

There’s just me…roaming the world…living.

I can’t tell you what it’s like because I don’t even have a grasp on it. What I can tell you is that something big is coming. I can feel it in my bones. I’ve been feeling it for such a long time and know that the final pieces of this grand puzzle – one that I was a huge part of but never got to see fully – is all coming together.

Piece by piece everything has been put down onto the board and eventually I will be able to see how it all connects.

For now, I hurry up and wait.

I dive into being with the people who care about me the most and love the moments I am in.

For now, I continue doing exactly what I’m doing. And, when the time is right, I will shift into that moment.

What a moment it will be.

-Evan Sanders

 

 

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Gone Boy

Every once in a while, I get this overwhelming feeling to disappear.

To disappear from everything and everyone and to venture off completely on my own – diving into the silence that we can all find if we make the time for it.

For most of my life, that’s been a dream. A dream to head straight into the unknown without any idea of what’s going to happen or what may be around the bend…and to experience that for what it is. That’s been something that’s always been out of my reach. Every summer when I was young I would dive into my books, spending night after night in my treehouse and visualize worlds that appeared as I turned the pages.

I would see myself floating down rivers, climbing mountains, and discovering new paths that were never taken. In fact, the handful of times I did go vacationing with my parents and we went hiking I would always hike far far ahead of everyone else…competitive to the point that I earned the nickname “scout.”

I couldn’t stand walking behind people. Apparently I couldn’t stand skiing behind the other kids in ski school. I would ski on the back of their skis and piss everyone off.

That’s the type of spirit I have.

First into the trees.

I think as time went on and I went through the thick of it, I lost contact with those pieces of myself. I have always been incredibly excited about life, but I can tell you for a fact that there were a few moments where my intensity for living was dulled. I have fiercely lived throughout most of my life, but as I mentioned before, it was the comments of others calling me “too intense” that caused me to pull back from myself.

I was too young to realize it at the time, but this intensity is the exact thing that needed gasoline poured on it, not to be toned down by the negative comments of others.

It was this same intensity that I would later realize needed to be reborn in me. I had lost my bite. I had lost my touch with my dark side. I spent so much time pushing for positivity that I lost contact with an undeniable part of me that drove me through anything – the darkness.

This intensity wasn’t ever rooted in motivation or internal drive – it was something far deeper and more complex. You can never really put a word on it, but imagine a shark smelling blood in the water. That’s the way I was on the mound pitching…that’s something I’ve been learning how to get back in my life every single day.

Fiercely competitive. No apologies. No excuses. Just going after it every single day.

What I didn’t realize over the past few years, was that I was literally making a dream that seemed so far out of reach come true. It’s been a few years since I’ve graduated from college and I spent a lot of time getting thrown in a few different directions. I would say, more than anything, that these have been stormy times.

But peaceful tides never made a skilled sailor.

So as I was getting broken down, tested, humiliated, and feeling like I was being fractured into many different pieces by life, I ended up realizing that I was having all of the parts of me that “needed to go” taken care of in order to start finding out who I truly was. The pieces of me that had to go fell into the background and the other parts that were begging to come out finally were allowed to shine.

Patience came out. Intuition came out. And that intensity – coupled with the willingness to take huge risks – conquered the fear that always paralyzed me from moving forward.

And with that, gone boy came to life.

The same boy who would hike out of sight in front of his parents seeking what he didn’t know.

The bite came back. The fire came back. A flame was ignited that was just burning steadily over the past few years.

As I sit here 2 weeks out of starting the adventure of a lifetime, I am getting more and more excited about what is to come. For the first time in my life, I will be completely on my own. There’s no turning back. There’s no safety net. There’s just me and what I can do. There’s just a dream that I need to step into and as soon as I step onto that plane to travel the world and see everything I could possibly see, I will change. I will change in ways that I can’t even predict.

The shackles of a story that held me down for 27 years will be broken…and I will start something that’s never been written before.

July 7. The second chapter of The Better Man Project. 

-Evan Sanders

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If You Really Believed, It Could All Be Yours

If you really believed in who you were, what you were put here to do and everything that you dreamed of, you could do anything.

You could make something from nothing. You could create a world that didn’t exist yet simply from the spark of imagination that danced throughout your mind. Something could be birthed from you that you might not even understand at the beginning, but as the years go on you get to look back and clearly see how all of the dots connect.

The amount of faith it takes to step into these moments are huge. Sometimes those moments are pressured on us through tragic circumstances. Sometimes that are moments of light that come into our mind. Nonetheless, they are important no matter how they come into your life.

The truth is, my moment of creation didn’t come from a happy place.

It came from a place of being down and out. It came from feeling like I was completely in the dirt. It came when I had lost myself completely and was suffering every single day.

That’s how I started.

Suffering.

Suffering and seeking answers on how to make my life just a little bit better every single day. One day at a time I worked on something I wasn’t that great at. Those days eventually added up…

…and here I am.

Dreams have a price.

And trust me, you pay.

You have to pay every single day.

But the greatest thing that I ever struggled with was the quiet. At times, for years, it got very lonely. Yes there were always breaks in this silence with friends calling and spending time out, but most of the time it was just me working on what I needed to build. Brick by brick it all went up and I learned from the big mistakes I made with many different things.

I don’t think we were given dreams by accident.

I think that we were given these visions in our minds and the path that will take us there as one great test of life. Will we work through all of our fears and our worries to make it happen? Or will we stop short and not see it all the way through. The truth is, most never see it all the way through.

Somewhere along the line, they stop. They stop because of one reason or another and the dream gets taken to the grave with them.

I’ve been to a place where I actually put everything aside for a while. I felt this ripping and tearing feeling inside of my gut that caused so much anxiety and worry that I knew I could never fully “turn it off.” I had to keep going no matter how painfully quiet or exhausting it was at times.

There’s this very romantic concept around creating something from a dream.

But honestly, it’s not what you think it is. Yes of course there’s a huge payoff at the end, but the path to get you there is one of the most grueling experiences you will go through. There are long hours, little amounts of play, a ton of hard work and a very lonely path. There’s no way around it.

Because to get one thing, you often have to give up another.

I see a lot of people around me today talking about what they want to do in the future and yet I’m looking at what they are doing right now and there’s a huge mismatch between words and action.

That’s the glue that puts it all together. Integrity. You know…the thing that exists when your words and your actions are in perfect alignment. Because without that – nothing happens. A lack of integrity is the recipe for a dying dream. If you want to truly fail – that’s where you should begin.

I am heading into one of the most wild, adventurous, and crazy parts of my life – leaving my home and moving to Europe for over a year. I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, but I do know what I want to create while I am there. I also know this…

This time is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me.

I might never have this moment again. So I realize I have to take everything in as much as I can.

I haven’t been writing as much lately because I know how much is coming right around the corner. Life will be breathed back into my veins even more and I will be turning the pages into the full next chapter of my life in a few weeks. But this time right now is for seeing friends and spending time with those who I care about dearly. It isn’t time to write yet.

It’s time to say goodbye to an old life. One that I have no regrets about. It’s time to breathe into a new one.

-Evan Sanders

P.S. I have 3 spots left in my email coaching program before the price goes back up by double. The program gives you access to your own certified life coach – me – 7 days a week for a steal of a price. If you want some more information about it please click the following link http://619.be/EmailCoachingBMP or the picture below and sign up.

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This Is How It All Begins

The beginning of this story begins with the ending of another.

A story that has been coming to a close for 26 years now. A story that I wouldn’t even be able to fully tell you even if I wanted to. But from I can tell you, is that I have been battling my entire life in a war that partly existed for real and partly existed in my mind.

Throughout the years, there have been scars from events that have defined who I am today. Would I take them back? No. Would I ever want to go through them again? Absolutely not. I wear these wounds proudly today although they do rumble in the depths from time to time and cause great amounts of pain. At times, they rush upon me in meditation and make me shake while I try my best to juts get through them one breath at a time.

But this story is ending.

This story is coming to a close. Not a chapter, not a few pages, but a book it itself.

And with the ending of something that has helped me create everything I have made throughout my entire life thus far, something else is opening up for me that was once upon a time…just a dream. It was just a fantasized thought running through my head…a whisper of freedom and the belief that I could set myself apart from the chains and hooks that pulled me back into the war.

At times I never thought I would escape.

I could feel myself growing and moving in the right direction but I never thought that these hooks would ever come out of me. They were in too deep and if they weren’t carefully handled it would case irreversible amounts of damage. But with the gentle touch of someone who believed in me and saw me for everything I could ever be, they were patiently removed despite any amount of pain that ran through my body.

I don’t talk much about those things. Not that I wouldn’t be willing to share, but some conversations are left for speaking in person. Some of these things don’t need to be written in ink because they would never come out the right way. There is just me and what I feel…and those feelings come out very strongly when evoked.

Just the way it should be.

In a month, I pack my bags and grab my one way ticket to Florence Italy and start a very exciting, fresh, new, and completely unknown chapter of my life. I will be staying in 13 different countries over the course of a year+ and taking everything I’ve ever wanted to do with my life to another place.

This is me becoming free.

Not running away from things, but running towards something that will evoke the greatest aspects of my spirit.

For years, I have been talking about going on a journey within my mind. It was that journey that helped me see who I was and what I stood for. It helped me realize my greatest mistakes, the role that I had to play in this life and what I could do with my life if I stopped thinking about myself as much and started thinking about how I could bring light to other people.

That has been my story for 5 years, and appropriately a few days after I turn 27 years old I will be starting Chapter II of everything. It took me 27 years to find my path…what I felt like I was destined to become…and that same amount of time to build up the courage to actually chase that destiny and paint it into reality day after day.

I have absolutely no idea what’s in store for me.

I am heading completely into the unknown. Right into the fog. But as I had written all of those years ago during that late night when I went out onto the Santa Clara streets covered in fog…all I could ever see were the green lights just barely visible. And that’s exactly how I feel now.

There are no red lights. There’s not even a yellow one saying “be careful.” All there is in this heart of mine right now is this beating passion for adventure and what is waiting for me around a bend I don’t even understand.

This is me putting it all on the line. This is me vowing and promising to myself and to the sky that I am ready to accept something that has been told to me a long long time ago.

Every demon, every reason, every excuse has come out over the past couple of weeks trying to manipulate me into staying. The doubt that crawled into my head whispered lies and turned me around for a brief moment. But eventually I snapped back into place, seeing without my eyes but with my faith, and it led me to doing something that I only dreamed of so many years ago.

There is no way you “should” do something. There is only your path, your dream, your way, and your heart. Never forget your head, but always listen to what your heart is telling you.

There is fear in this heart of mine, but it’s overwhelmed by this deep sense of courage.

It took me everything to get here. Not money. Not material things. Not cheap pleasures or temptations.

But heart.

Heart got me here.

Putting my heart into what I love and backing it all up with the blood and tears.

And that’s why I can do this. That’s why I can finally set myself free. That’s why I can start this journey to show the world just what I’ve had in my mind all these years.

I never toast to the future.

But hell.

To the future.

-Evan Sanders

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The Moments I Chased What I Loved

One of the greatest gifts I’ve been given came within the past couple of weeks.

There were things that melted my heart in many ways. Some of these moments I will never forget. I feel them stitched into me never to go away…nor would I ever want them to.

Usually, I would say that something changed. But that doesn’t really describe it here. It wasn’t change…but rather I was reminded of something that had been lost for such a long time. Maybe it was familiar to me in many ways, but being brought down into the depths of it all…that was a place I hadn’t been in many many years.

That moment I will keep close to my chest.

But the warmth that came from it reminded me of what it was like to chase what I love.

To say “the hell with playing it safe” even remotely and to pour everything out. Stories that had only been written in journals. The same journals that were burned with a prayer and sent into the heavens…requesting that those ashed words found their way to the right spot if the wind would have it.

Stories that were buried deep in my heart waiting to come out…waiting to be spoken…waiting to be heard.

And in a moment, I was set free.

I had nothing left to give. Nothing else I could give of myself. And in a a moment of pure acceptance I just nodded my head and looked up to the stars whispering, “if it will be, it will be.”

The greatest gift I was given was the support to roam wherever my heart took me. The words uttered making an impression on me that drove me to tears. Tears of happiness. Tears of release as I was stepping into moments that would finally set me free from years of imprisonment.

This gentle touch, something I wanted to hold onto as much as I possible could, allowed me to slide my fingers out of its hand and let go…

And trust…trust that if it was right…it would be.

I realized, that it was my time to have an adventure. And adventure that would change the course of my life. One that is so far beyond my comprehension of what is possible that every moment will seem like a dream. I realized, this was finally my time to go. A moment of newness since I had watched many have this moment for themselves but never had one of my own.

Do I still feel?

Yes.

Now more than ever.

But can I hold my hand open?

Yes.

Hoping that one day, that hand will be taken.

A choice…

Finally chosen.

And to hear those words again…would forever make this soul of mine dance.

-Evan Sanders

 

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Only Those Who Will Risk Going Too Far

” Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” T.S. Eliot

How far can I go?

How far into this unknown can I see and trust that if I water those ideas with the seeds of belief…that one day that will sprout into a blooming new universe?

Can I trust myself enough to set myself free from the things that have shackled me down for 26 years of my life, and know deep within my heart that everything I’ve ever dreamed of and everything I need to be given as a gift or as a challenge will be there for me?

Can I trust that I am being watched over…that I am highly favored…and that I have been given this path to travel and that it is purely up to me to make it happen?

These questions have been finding their way through my mind. They have been at the front of it, calling me to continue down the road, only to find out just how far one can really go.

There have been fundamental fears that have kept me in the same place for such a long time. Fears that I have come to understand and step into. Fears that scare me to death but I just know…somewhere deep inside that if I do what I have been called to do that I will become something greater.

It’s hard for me to understand some of these things. These whispers. The whispers telling me to go.

But what I do understand is that the greatest fight of my life has always been in my mind. Because in my mind I am attacked with fear, doubt, worry, anxiety and everything else. But as soon as I drop into my intuition and step into the wisdom of my heart, I am never let down. I tend to lose the battle in my mind because it tries to understand things that it’s not capable of understanding. But my heart, my heart always knows what’s right. My heart has never led me astray.

There are many things I don’t understand. But there are many visions I have. Visions of the future – images so fresh and clear that they almost seem as if they are real. As I have been traveling down this path, and seeing some of those visions come true, I wonder if it is something beyond my imagination that is calling me to do these things?

Is this my seeing without seeing?

Is this what it means to walk by faith and not by sight.

Because when I close my eyes sometimes it’s as if they are open. They are blooming with curiosity and of a place far far beyond where I am now. I can see past that place. I can see past the place all the way until the end…and yet, even the end doesn’t feel like the end.

At times, this vision has created pressure in my life. Pressure because I was too scared to get into action. However as time has gone on, and I have gathered more and more faith, I do understand that the actions of today in stepping outside of my comfort zones and of myself at times…are the very things that are going to create all of this.

An excess of faith – which there is no such thing – actually allows you to soften your life.

Because if you have faith, no matter how bad things become or how challenging they may be, you understand that they too will change and that you will be on the other side of it eventually.

This was one of the toughest things for me to have when I was younger. I didn’t understand faith. I didn’t understand patience. Truly, for me, throughout this entire year with the learning of patience has come faith. It was patience before faith. Without the patience, how could you ever see anything all the way through?

You couldn’t.

You would discourage yourself because it wasn’t happening right now.

But what I came to understand is that this life doesn’t work on your  timeline. It happens when it’s supposed to happen and things come along your path when you are ready for them. That’s how it always works. You are given what you need, not what you want, but what you need. And when you have a vision to become something greater, you are pounded, shaped, morphed, broken down and put all back together to become that person.

There’s a brilliance to the way the universe works.

The problem is we try to understand it.

You can’t. You can’t understand something so far beyond your comprehension. But what does work…the only language that truly allows you to communicate with what is outside this human world is faith.

Faith is the language of life. Faith is the language of patience.

Many people are of different faiths, but faith nonetheless. And that, is beautiful.

So here I am, holding onto my faith. Holding onto a story and a feeling within my heart that has been warming as these days go by. I believe in something greater that this. I believe that stories are about to be written – and however those stories show up – that is the way they need to be.

Do I have hopes and dreams? Yes. Do I wish for certain things? Yes. But if those aren’t right for me, I will not object. I will humble myself and continue on…even if I struggle. Because this way, the way of belief, has never left me uncared for.

So I move forward with love.

-Evan Sanders

P.S. I have 3 spots left in my email coaching program before the price goes back up by double. The program gives you access to your own certified life coach – me – 7 days a week for a steal of a price. If you want some more information about it please click the following link http://619.be/EmailCoachingBMP or the picture below and sign up.

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Over Anything Else, This Will Always Win

Comfort within the discomfort.

Life has been terrifyingly beautiful lately. The unknowns have poured their way into my life and yet at the same time, there are a few knows that have caused my soul to bloom.

The uncertainty of it all used to be something that scared me dearly. And now it seems like we court one another.

“Bring it on.”

::smirk::

Nothing good has ever come from comfort zones. Lately however, I’ve been in a much deeper introspection with what is going to bring me happiness in my life. There have been some absolutely huge revelations alongside deep questions about what truly is next.

I know that there is a path for me to follow that resonates with my heart…and at the same time there have been new revelations along the way. What I do know is this…

When you are looking around the bend in life and see something that you want for yourself…and even more have the courage to go and see what that is…you find things along the way that you would never have anticipated.

Often situations come right out of the blue and surprise you. You would never expect things to go the way they do but that’s the point of it all.

You’re supposed to be living in the mystery of everything. You’re supposed to understand that you don’t know absolutely jack squat. Because you don’t. That’s just the honest truth. While you’re off making plans life is actually happening. Someone famous once said that. I have absolutely no idea who.

But the point is you have to be fluid enough to see something all the way through and flexible enough to understand that you might have to change your initial plans because of how life is treading along. Being rigid is absolute sin.

That’s a recipe for disaster.

You have to roll with what is being delivered to you and understand that your job is to make things happen…not to try to force you way it in a way that it’s not supposed to go.

I’ve been asking questions these past few days. A lot of questions. And yet, they all lead me back to one place. The same place of my vision all those months ago.

And at the same time, there’s this warmth.

Warmth within me despite any amount of uncertainty.

And that has caused me to bloom again. The wildflowers have come back out. Yes of course there has been some unknowns but at the same time…the heart knows what’s right.

And that, I have faith will win. That’s something I’ve always believed in…but the truth is, I really know it now.

Love wins.

-Evan Sanders

P.S. I have 3 spots left in my email coaching program before the price goes back up by double. The program gives you access to your own certified life coach – me – 7 days a week for a steal of a price. If you want some more information about it please click the following link http://619.be/EmailCoachingBMP or the picture below and sign up.

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If You’re Willing To Take A Risk With Your Heart

My life has been a series of stories.

As you could imagine, as the one who is living in the story itself, things get pretty interesting at times. But they haven’t just been a collection of any type of stories. They have been page after page of some of the most meaningful, challenging, raw and truthful moments of my life.

They are stories that make me know I am alive…alive in a way I never could have dreamed of all those years ago when I felt cold and dead inside.

Stories that no matter their delivery, end up allowing my heart to bloom and continue to burn with a fearless love that ignites others as well.

Some enter into my life and see the story I am in now.

A few have been there since the story began.

The story wasn’t always bright and happy. In fact, for a great deal of the time it was very dark.

I learned things in that place.

I learned the value of things through their absence.

I learned how to love by being unloved.

I learned the importance of having passion when I was completely lost.

I learned my value…when I felt like I had none and that I wasn’t worth it.

But I think as time goes on, as I sit in these moments more often, I realize that I have understood one thing that never really seems to disappoint.

Let go of knowing.

Let go of knowing what’s going to happen. Let go of being attached to assumptions and expectations. Let go of thinking you know how something is going to turn out. Because the truth is, most of the time it goes in a completely different direction than you ever thought it would.

Time after time those moments have come and one throughout my life where I have only been in the moment as it arrived and had absolutely no idea where it came from.

But this goes far beyond just staying open to moments happening. It goes far beyond the idea that if you stay open to anything happening…anything could happen.

It’s about speaking your heart in those moments.

Let me tell you another story.

Once upon a time I was so locked up I couldn’t tell anyone anything that was going on with me nor did I want to. I was shut out by everyone and therefore I did the only thing I thought that could protect me – I built walls a mile high and pushed away anyone that got to close. I hurt people that way. I hurt myself that way.

Then, as time went on, all my walls started to fall down and I was left completely exposed. No one saw me for who I truly was but myself. But that was enough to know that I was lying to myself and trying to be someone I wasn’t. I knew that in time I was going to have to actually look myself in the mirror and create who I had see. No one was going to do it for me. I knew at the time I was completely full of it wearing a mask in all of its beautiful colors.

And as the years have gone on, and the facades have fallen away, I’ve come to understand that there’s nothin more important than leading with your heart.

There are thousands of reasons why something won’t work. You don’t need to spend a great deal of time searching for those to find them.

But there’s something special about the one, or few, reasons why it will work.

There’s something about having faith in the fact that no matter how complicated or tough a situation might be at that time, that the one reason you found will be enough and worth it to try. And even more, when that reason resonates with your heart, you have something you can put your love and trust behind.

Not many people trust their heart.

They believe that their heart was the thing that got them hurt badly.

But the truth is, it was the nasty tricks your mind played on you to convince you not to listen to your heart that got you hurt. The heart always knows what’s best. Time to leave. Time go stay. Time to dive in. Time to take a risk. It understands things that your mind could never even comprehend. It’s something to be trusted. It’s something to be adored.

For a long time, I felt like something was missing.

Maybe it was circumstance that created this, but ever so recently that feeling changed. I felt like I came home. I feel warm inside. And the truth is, I have no idea what’s going to happen. In my heart of hearts I know what I want. But I never know how it’s going to go. I can only keep looking up to the sky asking to be taken care of.

That’s faith that I never had before.

These stories of my life are perfect to me. Some are covered in tears. Some are flooded with laughs. But they have all landed me in a place where I can speak my heart no matter what the situation is and live with a love and passion that lights me up inside.

I didn’t know what to do with myself for a long time. I had tried just about everything, but as I have come to find out time after time, this heart of mine wants what it wants. There’s no telling it otherwise.

Not many people take risks with their heart. They don’t want to get hurt again. But the best thing about taking a risk with your heart is this…

It could be the greatest adventure of your life.

And to me, that’s worth it.

-Evan Sanders

P.S. I have 3 spots left in my email coaching program before the price goes back up by double. The program gives you access to your own certified life coach – me – 7 days a week for a steal of a price. If you want some more information about it please click the following link http://619.be/EmailCoachingBMP or the picture below and sign up.

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