Evan Sanders's Blog, page 29

The Magic In These Moments

There are magic in these moments.

And I’ve got to start off with this amazing passage I found in one of the books I’m reading called A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield

Practice is like a roller coaster. Each new high is usually followed by a new low. Understanding this, it makes it a bit easier to ride with both phases…there is in addition to the up and down cycles an in and out cycle. That is, there are stages at which you feel pulled into inner work and all you seek is a quiet place to meditate and get on with it, and then there are times when you turn outward and seek to be involved in the marketplace. Both of these parts of the cycle are part of one’s practice, for what happens to you in the marketplace helps in your meditation, and what happens in your meditation helps you to participate in the marketplace without attachment. At first you will think of practice as a limited part of your life. In time you will realize that everything you do is part of your practice. 

I think one of the biggest pieces of all of this for me was beginning to understand that every piece of what is going on for me is actually part of the practice. It has been easy for me in the past to think that what was going on, that was going “wrong” was me falling out of practice. But that’s really the farthest thing from the truth.

There are these ups and downs to everything.

But even more, expansion and contraction.

Things are not concrete. They are fluid. They are ever morphing. They are changing. My only job is to go with them.

As I settle more and more into everything that is changing and shifting, I start to understand that it has actually been every experience that I’ve had in the past that has been my greatest teacher. I’ve learned from the best and the worst. I’ve been able to take a lot of those experiences and turn them into something that could serve me instead of ruin me.

There’s still a lot more for me to go though.

And the greatest one of all?

Healing.

That’s something I’ve seen very clearly. I’ve seen that there’s a need for space and time that will help my heart begin to heal. There needs to be a deeper reclamation of my heart. In many ways, I denied myself that and tried to “better” myself throughout the years in an attempt to prove that I was worthy.

I now realize, that my worthiness existed already.

It wasn’t about anything that I ever tacked onto my life that helped me. It was about all of the things that fell away that eventually allowed me to open up to who I truly was.

When fear began to soften…courage ignited.

When judgement fell…compassion arose.

This went on and on and will continue as I keep writing here every single day.

I think one of the strangest things that has happened for me as I have continued to step more and more into this moment is my abandonment of constantly thinking about the future. I used to live there…forgetting about this moment completely. But now, as things have changed for me, I find myself thinking about it less and less and being more into the idea of showing up in a full expression of myself in the here and now.

I’ve left it up to “if it will be it will be.”

A lot of us have plans. Most of us. Most of the time, those plans don’t ever work out in the way we thought they would.

I truly believe that if I show up planting the seeds of love, compassion, patience and kindness that I will land myself in a garden full of that one day. But those seeds are to be planted now. I can’t sit around and speculate how they will show up later. I can only show up here and now.

I’m letting go.

And what’s coming as I let go?

Peace.

More and more peace.

The attachments are softening.

The ideas of how it should be are loosening.

And as I go through the phases of anxiety of letting all of these things go, I find myself feeling better and better.

It’s not that a beautiful future couldn’t happen in holding onto the way things should be…but the truth is…you really don’t even know if that was your path to travel in the first place.

It may have turned out good…but was that really your destiny of who you could have become?

So further out of the water go my oars.

No more rowing to that island.

Just enjoying what’s going on now.

Fingers pattering away on the keys.

Happy.

Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

 

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Those Steps Towards Destiny

6 years ago, I started this blog because I didn’t like who I was becoming.

I will never forget that one day walking around campus and just saying to myself, “You’ve got to change something. This is not going well.”

Shortly after that I lost baseball and I was forced to change. Maybe that was my sign from the universe. Maybe that was the thing that forced me onto a completely different path.

But this isn’t about that choice.

This is about a completely different choice that has been in front of me for quite some time.

Truth is, it has been years since I’ve come across the idea of taking the next step with all of this. I’ve known in the depths of my heart that putting my voice out there in a more modern way and letting loose all of the content that I have stored up in me would change everything.

It would change my life.

It would change the lives of others.

It could even possibly begin to make the impact on the world that I feel that I am here to make.

I’ve resisted that path for so many reasons. I’ve stopped myself from taking the next big step out of fear of what might happen if I do.

The Great Resistance To The Call

That’s what I’ll probably call this segment to the chapter.

But that piece needs to end.

 

It needs to end for many reasons.

But the biggest one of all is because I am denying myself the path that I know that I need to take. I have to get out of my own way. I have to settle the score with my fear.

I have to begin.

It really is time.

There are no more tomorrows.

There are no more opportunities to put things off.

There’s just what I can do now.

Time to move forward.

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

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The Forest

 

I am here to tell you about my journey.

Not about how you should do it.

This is no instruction manual. There’s no 10 steps to this or that. It’s just me here, speaking to you about my life as if you were sitting right beside me. If I say something that speaks to your soul, that makes me happy. If it causes you to chew on an idea for a while, I’m just as happy.

Throughout the years, I lost my way a bit with my writing.

The audience grew and I started writing for other people. I forgot though, that I’m actually writing for me. I’m writing here because this is my place, my sacred space, to talk about what I’m learning, what I’m going through, and just about everything else in between.

It’s not so much of a place for me to teach but rather for me to hear how I am moving through everything.

It’s a chance for me to expose myself and how I’m really feeling…to me…so I can understand better and work through some things that shouldn’t just be left in my head.

It’s not about recapturing some sort of passion or motivation, but rather a return to what made all of this possible.

The journey. 

That’s what all of this is about.

Stepping into the metaphorical forest has time and time again been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. In fact, when I really think about it, I’ve had a few major moments in my life where I’ve really had to leave the life I knew behind and go on a journey into the unknown.

But nothing has compared to traveling. The first 4 months of my journey I stepped into new countries, did new things, met people and everything around me was full of this sense of anxiety. There often came up the question of “Am I doing this right?” That perpetuated the anxiety.

I wasn’t just in it. 

I was trying to create it. I was trying to manufacture these experiences and wondered why everything wasn’t hitting me as hard as I had thought it would. I was forcing it in many ways. I was pushing for something and it wanted to be something else entirely.

When I came back and then left again, I showed up a completely different version of myself. I started to enjoy it more. That was only after I spent some time quieting down my mind trying to see if this was the right thing or the wrong thing way too early into an adventure.

The judgmental part of my mind was going off.

Good day? Bad day? Let’s judge the whole thing so far.

Tragedy strikes and I had to come back to the states in the passing of my grandmother.

So here I’ve sat or a week trying to figure out what to do next and along comes Joseph Campbell and his stories of heroes and adventures…pretty much the exact thing that I needed to dive into.

I think a lot of my sense of panic in continuing to move forward has been because of not understanding that everything that was happening is simply part of the story. So that’s how I’m going to write it. As a story. As Campbell would write it.

There’s a Tibetan prayer that I love that goes something like this.

Grant that I may be given appropriate difficulties and sufferings on this journey so that my heart may be truly awakened and my practice of liberation and universal compassion may be truly fulfilled.

I know it to be true that out of every major difficulty I have had in life, I’ve been given the ability and courage to continue to open myself up. I’ve cracked open and times and in other moments I’ve simply unfolded like the petals of a flower.

Truth is, I wouldn’t change a thing about this process.

It never happens the way you think it’s going to but it always pans out in the end.

So what now?

Journeys.

Adventures.

Expansion.

Moments of contraction.

And doing it over and over and over again.

Thing is, the greatest journey I’ve ever taken is going within myself to understand what’s there. That’s going to continue forever. That can’t stop.

I feel good about reconnecting with my purpose of all of this writing.

It’s a mirror in a way. I couldn’t ask for more.

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

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The Call

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” – Joseph Campbell

It’s all started to make much more sense to me.

My life, as I’ve always known it, has fluctuated throughout the seasons and has happened in stages. There have been drastic shifts in my journey and it always seemed to fit some sort of pattern. Every time I decide to step into what I was afraid of there was a complete change in the landscape of my life and everything seemed to take off.

Many years ago, I started this journey of health and fitness because that’s what I needed to do in order to feel like I could make it through everything that was happening in my life. I built myself up physically and mentally and took on the greatest challenge I could possibly find – constructing my body into the ideal image I had seen when I was young.

This journey demanded that I changed my entire life. But most of all, it reframed my mindset on commitment, effort, dedication, and persistence in way that I’ve never experienced before. While battling all sorts of inner demons throughout those years, I came out a different man and had a new mentality that I had never had before – if I could do that, what couldn’t I do?

Truth is, I’ve had a very difficult time letting go of that journey.

In many ways, I’ve tried to go back and relive that time and everything in my heart and soul tells me that I need to point myself in a different direction. This has created an inner conflict that manifested this feeling of being torn in between two paths for a couple of years now.

I’ve ignored the path I’ve been shown for a path that I’ve come up with in my mind.

But as I chased that idea from the head, I neglected the deep wisdom coming from my heart.

So this is where I started to get honest with myself. And, I only got back to this place of knowing once I closed my eyes.

There are a few things that bring electricity into my veins. Surfing. Deep connections with others. And above all this sound of a crowd moving with intense emotion and energy when being spoken to. I get chills. My body almost goes through raptures. I knew, when I came across these things that I needed them in my life. For some time, I’ve been denying myself those things because of fear, the old story, and a sense of unwillingness to answer the call.

But I have to.

I have to change.

Truth is, I’ve been digging my feet into the dirt trying to not get dragged in the direction that I’ve been pulled into anyways. It’s just happening slower because I’m resisting. I didn’t want to let go of my old ways. I didn’t want to let go of the old sense of self because that man achieved so much and fought his way through hell and came out alive.

He became something greater.

And, I think the fear was that if I let go of that way of showing up in the world that I would fall back into a bad place.

But I know that’s not true.

The heart knows that to be just a fear.

There’s an entire new life and adventure waiting for me to finally surrender and just starting hiking on that path.

But it has been waiting for me to make that decision. It has been waiting for me to let go of the old sense of self and create space for a new one. This hasn’t been easy nor have I really wanted to do it at all. But here I am, with the same willingness – to start writing, to start the journey that I just finished –  ready to plant my feet into the ground and take that next huge step.

So I’ll call it like it is.

This path will change my life.

This path will require me to let go of old ways that I’ve refused to let go of for some time.

I will feel different. I will be different. I will have to do things that I’ve never done.

But that’s the point.

::footsteps::

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

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When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes, everything starts to become clear.

The mind fades and waves arrive.

I see a way. Not a path. But a way of being. I see happiness. I see myself unfolding.

But as I close my eyes, I start to understand something I’ve never understood before.

This adventure I seek is not upon the surface of the earth. While they are many journeys to take in that way, that’s not where I will find my fulfillment.

It’s the continued journey within.

That’s where I will connect.

When I left again, I came across this almost “soul-tearing” feeling. It is hard to explain but it was actually physically painful. I felt like I was cracking in a way. I knew that this was a new life I was heading into and that I would feel growing pains, but this actually felt somewhat wrong.

Something didn’t feel right.

Even though I settled down into being there after a couple of days and felt completely content and happy, I started to discover pieces of wisdom that were hidden in the corners of my heart.

I am happiest when I’m sharing experiences.

As soon as I realized that, I found an amazing travel partner to run around Rome with.

When I closed my eyes and saw myself at my happiest, I started to see waves. I realized I needed that back in my life and started to reflect upon my experiences in the water in Portugal.

And then there’s this calling.

A call that I haven’t been fully engaged in for quite some time. I’ve written about it. I’ve expressed my battles with it. But I’ve never fully picked up the phone and answered what has been ringing inside of me.

Part of that was fear.

Part of that was “story” in thinking that I had to do things a specific way.

But another piece of it was learning by doing things. I had to go through some experiences to truly know that those paths weren’t for me. How else are you supposed to figure out if something is for you if you never really go for it to make it happen?

I think that’s valuable in of itself.

I think learning what you don’t want is almost as valuable as learning what you do want. If I think of it, it might even be more valuable. There are many many many more things in this world that aren’t for you.

That’s for certain.

This question I’ve been asking – does this path have heart? – really has been heading me in an interesting direction.

But the most interesting thing about it is that it has been really allowing me to reflect upon what makes me feel the most fulfilled inside and also what will put me on the path towards my greatest purpose.

That “path” has never felt like a to do list full of things. Rather, it has felt like me connecting with this set of railroad tracks full of energy and electricity when I’m on it.

It’s as if there’s a sense of being guided.

But first I have to get back to those tracks. Like I said, I’ve ignored that call for some time now. There have been so many things that have happened since those first big moments where I was pointed in a specific way.

This way I’m heading now offers peace.

When I sit and think about it and feel into it, I feel calm. I feel ready.

Maybe this sense of “coming home” is home in more ways than one.

Maybe it has been waiting for me all this time.

Time to find out.

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

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Does This Path Have Heart?

The winds of change are upon me.

It’s safe to say that this week has been one of the most interesting weeks of my life.

Almost 10 days ago, I had packed my bags and left for Rome to begin my journey again. I got down on my knees and hugged my grandmother goodbye and just started crying. I knew that this was my final goodbye to her. Although she had been doing much better in her fight with lung cancer, something in my heart told me that this was the moment.

So I fell into her arms, feeling her hand scratching the back of my neck, telling me that everything is going to be okay and that she wants me to chase after my dreams.

4 days into being in Rome, I got the call from my family that I should try to get home as quickly as possible because her health had rapidly deteriorated.

As I ran through the airport to my connecting flight in Amsterdam and made it just in time to my seat…the text message popped in.

“I’m so sorry but she didn’t make it.”

I just sat there. Tears welled up. The flight attendant came back and asked me if I wanted anything to drink.

Wine. 

As I poured white wine into a plastic cup, I toasted to my beloved grandmother.

This one’s for you grandma. 

4-5 more came after that.

When you lose someone, that moment is hard. Really hard. It’s not that I don’t believe she’s in a better place or happy that she’s out of pain – I am. It’s just that you wish you could hold them again and tell them you love them. But I hold no regrets. I loved her to death. She knew that. And, most of all, she was proud of me for going for what I wanted in life.

Then, there are those moments that hit you like a sack of bricks in the heart.

The small things you see or remember. I came across the little rose bush I had bought her right before I left and that hit me hard. Then there was the little note that I keep in my wallet written by her. And yet, in all of those moments, I return to a smile.

I smile because we had an amazing adventure with each other and our path together had finally come to an end. Time runs out for all of us and our time was up.

So now I honor her by carrying on her wishes.

And that’s what leads me to the title of this post.

Does this path have heart?

My grandmother didn’t want me to come back from Rome if anything should happen. But I knew in the depths of my heart in that moment I heard of her inevitable passing that I had to come home. I had to make the effort to try to see her again and if I didn’t make it in time, to be here with my family.

I asked myself that question…”Does this path have heart?”

It was overflowing with love.

So I went.

Here I am back in California asking myself that next question about many different things. As for traveling, there’s a decision to be made about what to do. Truth is, I know that there’s a much more balanced middle ground that lives between going completely on my own and staying in one place. I’m finding that.

But with other decisions that I’ve made, I’ve answered that question and gone ahead and followed my heart.

What did I find?

Lots of love.

Lots of heart.

How could I ever go wrong in doing that? I couldn’t. It felt right so I went with it.

And as this time continues forward? I will just keep asking myself that question…step by step…heading into the complete unknown of what’s going to happen next.

All I know is what I want to be surrounded with in this life – love, joy, compassion, health…the list goes on.

This path has heart.

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

 

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Straight Into The Unknown

I’m not going to lie, today was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time.

I’ve never been good at goodbyes. They are the hardest things for me. They break my heart wide open. There were a lot of tears today. Leaving, in the airport, and finally arriving in Rome. It felt like there were old pieces of me dying and opening up space for new things to show up.

But like I said, today wasn’t easy. Today was heartbreaking in many ways.

I’ll never forget this Joseph Campbell quote…

“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.”

I was smacked dead in the face with some fears that live deep inside of me – loneliness, not being able to pull through, wanting to quit and turn back…and many more. Fear woke up inside of me today as well as many other things. But there was happiness and joy there as well. I went out exploring throughout the evening and just walked the city in whichever direction I pleased and that seemed to cool everything down for me.

This trip is forcing me far outside my comfort zone. But that’s the point. Because absolutely no growth happens whatsoever in doing the same thing over and over again. It’s a dead zone.

You’ve got to get out there.

You’ve got to get uncomfortable.

One thing that really hasn’t helped me today is me getting in the way of myself. I can be incredibly hard on myself and expect myself to make these massive adjustments with no problems and continue forward as if nothing was wrong. But I realized later this evening that I have literally plucked myself out of the life I’ve known forever and put myself straight into a place that I have absolutely no context or bearings for.

That’s going to take some time to adjust.

So it’s one breath at a time. One step at a time. That’s all I can do right now.

This is the bravest thing I’ve done in my life.

With that, it’s also the scariest. As hard as today was, I know that I will be okay. I will find my groove. I will find my footing and start walking more confidently than I am right now. This process is full of growing pains. You want to show up in the world with all of the things you had back home but you don’t because you haven’t spent any time there.

So you are a beginner again.

You’re a beginner at making friends. You are learning where things are and how to get to them. But maybe the biggest thing of all? You’re learning about yourself again. Back home I had spent a lifetime getting familiar with everything. Every moment doing this feels like a new lifetime. It’s all unfolding. It’s all new every single step of the way.

That’s how it’s supposed to be.

Just because it’s hard at first doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. So I keep telling myself, “stay open…stay open…stay open.”

I say this because at times everything in me wants to close off and shut down. I try the best I can to stand up strong in those moments. I try to muster up all the courage I can to be the man I know I am. Sometimes tears spill out. I can’t help that. But that doesn’t mean I don’t try.

Even the intention matters.

So here I am. It’s day 2 and I got my way through day 1 the best I can.

I have an entire city to explore today.

I have a major adventure in front of me.

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

 

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“You Changed”

When you found me, I wasn’t the same man.

I’m different now.

I love myself more.

I take better care of myself. I’ve been following my heart and letting it guide me towards the path I’m supposed to take. But the man you knew before, well, he wasn’t that way. He questioned everything. He couldn’t let go of anything. He was buried 6ft. deep in pain, anxiety, and suffering.

To be honest, I’m still digging myself out in ways.

There are remnants of the past that I’ve had to accept and work with. I’ve had to make decisions to give up some things that no longer served me. I’ve had to move forward in ways that will open me up to the possibilities of a greater future. But moving forward hasn’t always been the easiest. Its hurt in many ways, but I know the path is true and it has heart.

I think it’s easy to make the decision to stay in a comfortable place.

That comfortable place doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is good. Sometimes it means that you’re comfortable with what’s going on, even though it can be pretty chaotic. You get familiar with the devil in front of you.

That comfort zone though, it becomes a place of stagnation.

You don’t grow there.

You don’t make any moves.

You don’t make any changes.

Slowly but surely, there’s this internal anxiety that begins to build. Pressure. That pressure can mount into something destructive. I’ve been there. I’ve also cracked under that pressure. I’ve split apart and lit up in flames. It’s not the best feeling.

 

Yet, renewal like that can be some of the greatest learning experiences of your life. Sure they feel absolutely awful when you’re in them, but when you look back you really start to realize just how much you discovered during that time. Pain can make you feel very very alive even though you’re suffering. It’s that comfort zone again. When you’re in that place, you really don’t feel that much pain.

Facing your anxieties and fears…facing the challenges head on…facing the edges of your growth and taking chances all come with the price of growing pains.

Not bad pain, but good pain. Pain that shapes you and morphs you into something else. Once you head through that pain and you come out onto the other side of it, you are now a stronger person because of it. But first you have to head through that mud.

The lotus only comes after that.

I keep changing. It’s never going to stop.

I’ll keep diving into my books, deep into my practices and keep doing things that expand my heart and my mind. I think I never really understood when I was younger that life itself is the journey and you really have to forget about the destination because you really have no idea of what’s going to happen.

If you miss out on the things going on right now, then you’ve missed out on living completely.

So change your shape and form at will.

Change as much as you’d like.

You only have one shot at this.

Go for it.

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

 

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Those Dancing Shadows

I keep telling myself that it’s okay to be afraid.

And in the same breath, I always say, “But you don’t have to stay there.”

It’s like there are these dancing shadows that distract me and make everything in me contract. I become a version of myself that isn’t in its fullest. It’s scared. It’s upset. It’s angry.

It’s not really me at my best at all.

That sentence…”But you don’t have to stay there” is all about me making a choice. I think I know very well what comes up for me when I decide to live in fear, indecision, doubt and worry. Everything feels panicked. My gut tightens up and I can feel the pressure starting to come down on my shoulders.

That’s when the fear loves to grip me.

That’s when it gets me.

I realize that I have to make the decision to move through it.

The second I start moving away from it, I feel even more conflicted and scared. It’s like a dark wolf chasing after you and you have that panicked feeling that it’s just about to get you. The longer and longer you let that be there, the worse and worse it’s going to get.

These dancing shadows are nothing more than your mind playing tricks on you.

Distractions.

Sometimes they blow up to be a far bigger size than they are. Sometimes they shift and change on you and surprise you in different ways.

But they are just shadows. They are things that take you away from your true core. That core is goodness. That core is love.

I think for a long time I fell into this place of being comfortable. It’s not that this place is a bad place to be – who could ever complain about being comfortable? But that’s not where most of my growth has ever happened. That’s not a place that has helped me expand, understand, challenge myself and move into something that’s bigger than who I was at the moment.

Traveling, for me, is one of the ways I’m going about this expansion.

I’ve kept myself in the same place for a long time and it’s time that I branch out and really begin to discover the rest of the world. I’ve grown in so many ways here, but now, it’s time for me to grow in other areas as well. Just as you grow out of your old clothes when you’re young, your soul grows out of old situations, people, places and things as you continue your development.

So I guess that’s where I am right now.

I’m at this place of knowing that I need to make these big changes in my life, having taken the step to accept that “knowing,” and now getting ready to take off in every sense of the word.

Fear will crawl in…

But I have to continue to settle.

If I show up here the fear seems to exit right out the door.

So here I will be.

What better place?

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

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Heading Upstream

I am being tested.

I don’t think it’s going to slow down. I think it’s probably going to get a little bit trickier before it gets any easier. Everything is coming in at once. But that’s what happens when you make decisions – all of the pieces begin to shift into place that have been waiting in idle.

I’ve found myself saying, “This is what it is” over and over again throughout the past week.

No shoulds. No wishing for a different way.

This is happening and I’m really feeling it right now. It’s right in the pit of my stomach. I can feel the growing pains coming on. I can feel myself letting go as I sit in my practices. Buddhists say that in each human being there’s an thousand ocean of tears. After this week, I believe that.

I don’t know what it is but there has been a painful and freeing cleansing in all aspects of my life.

Parts of me has no idea what’s here to stay and what’s here to go.

I think I might not really get to make that decision in many ways.

All I can do is speak my truth. I have to continue showing up as true to myself as I can be and let the chips fall where they may. But this pressure at times is a lot. I feel it coming down on my shoulders and welling up behind my eyes. When I go into practice, it releases without inhibition.

As it all comes out, forgiveness, love, and compassion come in. Those seem to be coming in right after I make authentic contact with what’s there for me. I tune in, feel everything fully, let myself be and then bring who I am to all of those events and situations that are causing pain.

There seem to be many right now.

Truth is, that’s okay. There’s no other way for it to be.

I think I have spent a lot of time throughout the years trying to make things be a different way than they are. But that only led to a significant amount of disappointment. I was disconnected. I was running. When I slowed down and realized what’s actually here I was terrified at what I had created.

It took falling apart to actually want to fix everything. I thought I could outrun it. I thought I could avoid it.

But you can’t.

Life’s not a message you can just delete and pretend it wasn’t there.

It’s always there. It’s waiting for you to actually deal with what’s coming up. I have to say, it’s hard at first. Really hard. You come face to face with everything that you’ve avoided and your critic has a lot to say about it. It’s easy to give up. It’s easy to go back to the old way of running.

But that’s a losing battle.

And it’s all downhill from there.

You have to head upstream.

Against the current of your fears. Against the current of your critic.

You have to dive into faith and just know that if you really put your head down and be willing to search within yourself and face whatever comes your way that you’ll be okay.

That’s where I’m at again in my life.

The first big moment was when I started The Better Man Project. But this is the second. This is the second biggest decision I’ve ever made in my life and I’m about as scared (or even more) than I was when I made the first decision.

27. Young. Heart on fire. Full of love. Full of adventure. Scared shitless.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

Want to read my book? Check it out here! The Better Man Project Book

 

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