C.H. Clepitt's Blog, page 7

How To Use – Best Secrets Music Speed Changer Application For Android Devices You May Not Know Exist | Unlock It.

Its theme engine allows you to customize the player as you want. Not only is this Android music player app good looking but also rich in features. However, there are some audiophiles who still prefer to download or buy high-quality music and listen to them on a free music player app for Android. Whether you are a musicophile or a casual listener, this list of best Android music players will surely enhance your listening experience. Musixmatch also plays well with other music player apps such as Spotify or Play Music, using a feature called FloatingLyrics to display synced song lyrics as a track plays. Rocket Player offers some solid features, even in its free tier.

You can stream millions of songs, listen to your playlists, listen to music on demand, and check out Spotify’s second-to-none discovery features. The Android Auto support is good and we didn’t have any problems jamming out in the car. You can use it free or for $9.99 per month for read my article no ads and extra features.

Audiodope

She earned an MA in Writing from Rowan University in 2012 and wrote her thesis on online communities and the personalities curated in such communities. You’ll find this multicolored pinwheel on one of your Home screens. Adjust the pitch in cents (100ths of a semi-tone) to suit your instrument. You can also use this iOS shortcut to record snippets of your voice while driving or walking and like to be hands-free. If you use the shortcut this way, send the recording to yourself or save it to Dropbox without sending the link to anyone.

To change song tempo please use Audio Speed Changer editor.Another Indian music app that is fully equipped to spice up your music streaming is Hungama Music.This whole process may sound intimidating but Ferrite Recording studio lets you do that easily.In this article, we will let you know the best pitch changer app on iPhone and Android.You can use it as a replacement for Notepad++ or any other quick edit apps that you’ve been using.

I would love to guide you on how to download and install Music Speed Changer APK for Android in just five simple steps. Android Package Kit is an Android application package file format used for distributing files and installing them on Android OS devices. Installing apps and games from APK file is a simple and straightforward process which you will remember forever when done once. It is a safe and working way to avoid restrictions made by developers for distributing apps in some geographical regions. Voice Pitch and Tempo Changer is a program for changing music.

Automate Tasks On Your Iphone Or Ipad

You are then prompted to check the audio for changes or directly move on to create the video. The Video Speed option will take effect on both video and audio track you selected. For music files and voiceover, the Speed option also works but only affect the audio itself.

55.6% of People Want Cookie Warnings to F*ck off, Survey Finds.

In a recent survey it has been discovered that 55.6% of people say “Fuck off” out loud and bang accept repeatedly to get the message across every time a cookie warning pops up on a website they are trying to read.

Conversely only 11.1% of people actually click to read the cookie policy and understand it fully, with the remainder of respondents clicking accept and moving on.

“I decided to conduct the survey when I was trying to read an article about a badger, and a delayed cookie warning popped up and filled my screen,” the author of the survey explained. “I thought, I cannot be the only one this incensed by the interruption to my badger story, let’s find out.”

“I’m not surprised by the result,” one website owner told us. “it’s not just the readers who get pissed off. Do you think we as developers enjoy having to install popups telling people that our websites have cookies? Every f*cking website has cookies, they don’t work properly without them. It’s the person who actually writes the policy I feel sorry for. Putting all that work in to know absolutely no bugger is going to read it. What an utter waste of time.”

However, one person told us “I love a good cookie policy. Since lockdown I have made it my personal challenge to read the cookie policy of every website I visit. I get particularly excited when I find a site that has “dart” cookies. You know that’s some hardcore tracking then.”

Do you enjoy a cookie policy? Let us know what you think in the comments.

BREAKING: Weetabix and Heinz breaks the internet!

And we’re so here for it. Earlier today, Weetabix shared this monstrosity of a tweet:

Why should bread have all the fun, when there’s Weetabix? Serving up @HeinzUK Beanz on bix for breakfast with a twist. #ItHasToBeHeinz #HaveYouHadYourWeetabix pic.twitter.com/R0xq4Plbd0— Weetabix (@weetabix) February 9, 2021

It suggested that baked beans may be a suitable thing to put on top of breakfast cereal. We want to take this opportunity to clarify that we are reporting this statement – not condoning it or suggesting it should be something you try at home – no matter how much Lockdown is getting to you!

If you weren’t so disgusted that you slammed your computer shut and went out for a brisk walk to clear your head, you would have seen some of the hilarious replies from other UK brands. We have compiled them below for your convenience.

Nandos just wanted to check in…

You okay hun? DM’s are open if you need to talk

— Nando’s (@NandosUK) February 9, 2021

The RSPCA had welfare concerns…

What the Shih Tzu is this Obviously we adore our Heinz 57s – and we love chow-chowing down on Weetabix – but this looks like pretty woof to us You must be barking mad!

— RSPCA (England & Wales) (@RSPCA_official) February 9, 2021

As did the NHS. Our health workers deserve better than this, Weetabix, what were you thinking?!

That tweet should come with a health warning

— NHS (@NHSuk) February 9, 2021

Police have responded to the incident, but were apparently unable to find evidence of any crime. Come on, there is photographic evidence right there in the tweet!

We have had a few comments from members of the public asking how we are going to respond to this incident.

It is clearly a crime without a doubt but we won’t be visiting their headquarters in Burton Latimer just yet as the Crimes Against Breakfast Act doesn’t exist…

— Northants Police (@NorthantsPolice) February 9, 2021

Iceland tried to have the tweet removed, which must be why mums go there…

Delet this pic.twitter.com/xUkadejZWS

— Iceland Foods (@IcelandFoods) February 9, 2021

But full marks have to be given to Sainsbury’s who reference the viral Handforth Parish Council meeting that has also taken the internet by storm:

Beans have no authority here, no authority AT ALL

— Sainsbury’s (@sainsburys) February 9, 2021

Not to be defeated, Heinz plays along in our favourite interaction of the thread!

*Removes Sainsbury’s from chat*

— Heinz (@HeinzUK) February 9, 2021

And it continued…

Sainsbury’s, we’ve been through this. You know what you’re talking about. Beanz Meanz Weetabix.

— Heinz (@HeinzUK) February 9, 2021

Genuinely not sure if this is the Flat Earth society making fun of themselves, or whether… I mean… has this pushed them over the edge…?

This sounds like a great idea. Thanks for sharing!

— Flat Earth Society (@FlatEarthOrg) February 9, 2021

Sky tried to help, but it was too late…

*unplugs Sky broadband to save the rest of the nation from seeing this*

— Sky TV (@skytv) February 9, 2021

And even the government got involved:

We found…

No intelligence

— GCHQ (@GCHQ) February 9, 2021

As yet there have been no reports of injuries as a result of this reckless breakfast combination, but we will keep you updated. Stay safe Nibblers, and don’t do this.

The News as a Musical

It’s much more fun than reading, and it saves us the effort of typing stuff.

As you know we all rejoiced last week when President Biden was officially sworn in as the 46th President of the United States of America. Apart from some random C&W singer who didn’t seem to understand why in the middle of a pandemic the crowd should not be singing along with him, or why no-one wanted to shake his hand afterwards, it was a lovely ceremony.

Just the day before though, a lot of different celebrities took it upon themselves to compose and perform some farewell music to Trump. We have compiled some of our favourites below for your listening/viewing pleasure.

One Day MoreGoodbye DonnieSeasons of Trump

You didn't think I'd send him off without my own departure ceremony, did you? #SeasonsOfTrump pic.twitter.com/hEI276wISC

— Randy Rainbow (@RandyRainbow) January 19, 2021

Robyn Hood Strikes Again!

Notorious outlaw, Robyn Hood, is currently on the run from the Sheriff of Nottingham’s men. She is said to be associated with the lady Marian de Staynton and a vagrant forester known in these parts as Littlejohn. Proven to be highly skilled with a hunting bow, the outlaw is wanted for the murder of Theobald de Lacy and the theft of a sum of one thousand silver. The details of these crimes can be read in the volume known as ‘Outlaw’.

More recently, Robyn Hood has been spotted gallivanting drunkenly around the area of The Blue Boar Inn on the outskirts of Nottingham town; wherein she was pursued for several miles by the highly trained retinue of the Bishop of Hereford. Rumours abound that Robyn Hood has now joined forces with an even more notorious master thief and expert swordswoman whose true identity remains shrouded in mystery. Reports suggest the pair have been involved in several high-stake gaol breaks as well as the kidnapping of a high church official.

Speaking exclusively to Newsnibbles, Robyn Hood’s biographer, Niamh Murphy told us:

“As important as it is that the criminal, Robyn Hood is brought to justice, I absolutely cannot reveal the whereabouts of my sources. But the latest instalment of her adventures will be released on February 26th.”

The Sheriff of Nottingham was approached for comment but has yet to return Newsnibbles calls. To keep up to date with the latest breaking news on the story, we suggest you pre-order the next volume in the series, ‘Scarlet’.

2021 Nibblets. The Story So Far…

So, yes, Newsnibbles took a bit of a break during 2020. Let’s face it, the news was too weird to satirise. But now it’s 2021, the US has already had an attempted coup, we’re locked down again and Percy Pigs are facing red tape thanks to Brexit. But despite all this, we found some Nibblet worthy stories, and we’re going to rejoice in them!

Who had exploding vag candle on their 2021 bingo card?

No-one, that’s right. But you probably should have. For those of you not hip and down with all the celebrity gossip, Hollywood star Gwyneth Paltrow has released a candle that smells like her vagina (allegedly). The candle, imaginatively titled “this smells like my vagina” was released last year. We heard about it, but it was 2020 and not even the interns had the energy for that one. But, in a bizarre but perhaps unsurprising twist of fate, the candle has hit the headlines again – this time for reportedly exploding! According to The New York Post the candle “exploded into flames in the living room of a UK woman who won the odoriferous product in a quiz.” It is fortunate she won the candle, as according to The NYP it retails at $75.

Joe Flies Again

We spent some time over the last few weeks following the saga of Joe, the pigeon who flew all the way from Arizona to Australia, only to be arrested. As with all the best bird news, this saga unfolded on Twitter, and it was looking bleak there for a time for poor old Joe, who despite the current political climate in the States, did not seem to qualify for refugee status, and was facing euthanasia as he was deemed a threat to Australia’s biodiversity. Fortunately for Joe he received a last minute reprieve, when it turned out he was Australian after all. What a relief.

Horses helping literacy

One of our Twitter followers brought this fabulous organisation to our attention. Saddle Up and Read is a not for profit that helps children with literacy and it looks really fun. Nice to finish with a positive nibblet. Check them out.

Hi, I’m Gooch.

See that truck and trailer? I drive it to different communities to give books to children in need. Oh and I bring my horse with me.

RT so I can get the word out. I’m in N.C. pic.twitter.com/ZMSHB5dzJW

— Goochie (@theblackcowgirl) December 5, 2020

If you spot any random news that you think deserves the Newsnibbles treatment, hit us up. New year, New Nibbles!

When Art and Literature Collide

The recent unveiling of a statue of Mary Wollstonecraft – the seventeenth century campaigner for women’s rights and mother of acclaimed horror novelist Mary Shelley has sparked some controversy.

Most people seem to feel that women have enough statues, but a small minority complain that the statue portrays Wollstonecraft as being naked, when public nudity is not a thing she was known for.

But… why is she naked? Someones needs to climb up there and give her a dressing gown! We don't have naked statues of Shakespeare or Churchill, do we? Was she famous for being publicly naked? I don't think she was… https://t.co/hNEAgj6uxK

— C H Clepitt Aka Badgon

Bingables

You may have noticed we’ve been quiet of late. Honestly this is because the news has been so terrible there has been nothing to satirise. How do you satirise someone who decides the best way to test their eyesight is to take their car out for a drive whilst it contains their spouse and small children? It’s like we are in The Good Place (aka The Bad Place) and someone is messing with us!

But, if being locked down has down anything, it has provided time to binge watch! I am going to use this post to share some of the series I have discovered and enjoyed or not enjoyed during lock down. I think of this section less as reviews (it’s mostly mainstream stuff, it doesn’t need reviews) and more as commentary. If this is popular I will do regular posts with things I’ve discovered.

If you have any recommendations for things I should check out, or have an opinion on the stuff I talk about here, stick it in the comments! Why not, eh. Be nice to have a comment that doesn’t talk about my “quality content” before trying to sell me Viagra.

Warrior Nun

Netflix outdid itself with this one. It’s ninja nuns, people. Think Buffy but less anxty. I always watch with audio description and my favourite part of all was that their outfits are described as “tactical habits”. Because you can’t just wear a regular habit when you’re battling the forces of darkness. This one takes girl power to a whole new level. We have guns, swords, action and nuns. If any of those things appeal, check it out.

Lucifer

I am late to the party with this one, I know. Half the series is available on Amazon Prime, then you have to switch over to Netflix to see the rest, which is a bit annoying, but worth it. I really enjoyed it. It is just fun and silly viewing, don’t expect anything too deep and meaningful. I think one of my favourite parts was how it twists religious rhetoric and causes the characters to question what they’ve been taught. That and the amount of bi rep. What do you mean I should have lead with that? Fine, there’s bi rep. And not the depressing kind where they’re “questioning”. These characters are bi. My favourite is Maze, a soulless demon who is trying to find love. Anyone who would leap to the defence of their friends with stabbing implements deserves love and I hope she finds it in the next season.

Masterchef Australia

I know. You don’t want to read about reality TV. Hell, I don’t want to watch reality TV usually. But gang, this is SO compelling! It’s not just cooking. Like, don’t get me wrong, it’s mostly cooking. But they all live in a house together like Big Brother! I get more invested than I ever thought I could and really back certain people to win. What I like most is that you can see that the winners (and people who go home) deserve it based on the cooking. This is something I don’t feel about the UK version of Masterchef – it always feels to me as if there is a bit of unconscious bias going on.

The best thing is that Amazon Prime has 11 series, I am only on Series 5, and when that’s over there’s Canada, New Zealand and Singapore! I know.

So, what have you been watching? Would you recommend it, did you hate it? Tell me in the comments!

I found my fun stock image on Pixabay.

Guess the Fairy Tale

We haven’t done a quiz for a while, so we thought we’d do this one, just for fun. To coincide with C H Clepitt’s latest release, Eye of the Beholder, it’s a guess the fairy tale from the pictures! Pop your answers in the comments if you like!

1.







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4.

Beauty and the Beast Takes on a New, Lesbian Twist!

C H Clepitt has a new book out this month, the first in her Magic Mirror series of queer fairy tale reimaginings.

Eye of the Beholder – Press Release

C H Clepitt presents the first in a new series of queer fairy tale retellings. Eye of the Beholder is the first story in the Magic Mirror series of books which will retell these stories in a different time period, with queer protagonists.

When asked about this new project, Clepitt said:

“Representation matters. It matters so much, and you only realise how much when you eventually have it. Queer theory and queer readings of stories and films developed because queer people wanted to see themselves in stories. They wanted their own happy endings, so they read them into the narrative. This series is going one step further. It’s rewriting the narrative and inserting overt queer rep. We deserve better than hints and readings. We deserve to see ourselves, to have our own stories. That is what I’m hoping to do with this project.

I am also reworking all the aspects that would be problematic to a modern audience. In this retelling of Beauty and the Beast I have taken out the kidnap element and changed lots of other aspects too. If you want to find out more, you’ll just have to read it!”

Blurb:

When pressure from his materialistic children turns Claude into a thief, it is down to his youngest daughter to set things right. Angelique agrees to take her father’s place as prisoner to what she is told is a hideous beast.

Angelique soon discovers that the so-called beast is nothing more than Rosalie, a princess cursed to remain trapped in a castle, unless the curse can be broken, something she assures her is impossible.

Angelique does not believe in the impossible, and sets about trying to find a way to save her new friend, who she is rapidly growing to love.

Eye of the Beholder is the first in a series of queer fairy tale retellings in C H Clepitt’s Magic Mirror Collection.

Release Date: 14th June 2020

Available for Kindle pre-order here: relinks.me/B089FMVP28

Available in paperback June 14th. See www.chclepitt.com/magic-mirror-collection for details.

Release Party

We will be having an online release party between 3pm and 8pm GMT on the 14th. There will be games and competitions and lots of fun. You can show your interest here: https://www.facebook.com/events/658912971367359/