C.H. Clepitt's Blog, page 16

Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, where our friends at Feathers and Toast perform a mysterious mime for you to guess.  Post your answers in the comments before Friday for a chance to have the mime of your choosing performed.

Last week’s mime was a cocktail being shaken and poured out into a glass.  Congratulations to Sarah Venus, who is the winner.

And we are sticking with the cocktail theme this week, can you guess what it is?

7 Questions

Today we have a special treat for all of you pet couture fans out there.  Our 7 Questions today is with United Dogdom!

What got you into pet couture in the first place?

It was getting a British Bulldog.  As a first time dog owner, I was surprised how quickly Louis became part of the family and now cannot imagine life without him.  It was my search for dog products that gave me the idea of starting up my own online business selling quality as well as fun products by using what I learnt to the sort of things Louis liked such as the tasty Antos dog treats.

Lots of products out there are for smaller dogs, but bigger dogs like to look fabulous too, can you accommodate the more sizeable canine?

Yes, we most certainly can. For example, our dog robe sizes go up to 70cm/28” and will typically fit an Iris Setter.  The winners of our recent competition – Bear and Ocean on our Facebook page shows that it can fit the larger dog.  Our beds goes up to 83cm/34” and we have a range of coats that go up to 75cm/30”.  Also, we sell XXL collars, bowls for larger dogs as well as toys that come in large and small.

We see you stock turtlenecks and hoodies, do you have anything for the more formal occasion?

We have a small selection of coats at the moment, but will be increasing our range to include more formal wear by the end of the year.

If people were just starting out with kitting their pet out for weathers, where would you suggest they start, what is the must have clothing item for dogs?

The Rukka raincoat for the unpredictable British summer, the Dog Robe which is not only good for drying your dog but can keep them cool in summer. Getting the right collar, lead and harness for your dog’s size and breed.  Dogs feel the cold too and so buying them a warm, comfortable coat for those cold winter months I think is also a must!

 

Have you considered branching out into smaller pets, such as cats or rabbits?

Not at the moment but this may be an area we will consider in the future.

What is your favourite breed of dog to accessorise, which breed can really strut their stuff?

We are, of course, bias to bulldogs because of Louis and their friendly and loyal nature.  Bulldogs are divas and with their loving mannerism, style and pride look good in anything that you decide to clothe them in.  I am sure this applies to many other breeds as well. When we take Louis out he walks with his head held up high and walks like he is on a catwalk, hips swaying from left to right.  A true beauty!

Describe your ideal sandwich.

 I am an absolute lover of cheese, so it must contain cheese, plenty of tomatoes, lettuce and cucumber and a bit of a crunch with pickle on wholemeal bread.

Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, where our friends at Feathers and Toast performs a mysterious mime for your guessing pleasure.  Answer in the comments, and if you guess correctly before Friday, you could be in with a chance of winning the mime of your choice being performed.

And congratulations to last week’s winners, who all correctly guessed cheese melting on a burger on the BBQ. Paul Uhler and Deva Palmier, watch out on the Feathers and Toast Youtube channel for your mimes.

Now, without further ado…

River City Chronicles, by J Scott Coatsworth

You know we always get excited by a new book release here on Newsnibbles. Friend of Newsnibbles, J Scott Coatsworth has a new novel out this week, and we’re thrilled to be a part of spreading the news for him.

The book is brought to you by Other Worlds Ink and is the first in the River City series.

Blurb:

Everyone in the River City has a secret, and sooner or later secrets always come out. 

A group of strangers meets at Ragazzi, an Italian restaurant, for a cooking lesson that will change them all. They quickly become intertwined in each other’s lives, and a bit of magic touches each of them.

Meet Dave, the consultant who lost his partner; Matteo and Diego, the couple who run the restaurant; recently-widowed Carmelina; Marcos, a web designer getting too old for hook-ups; Ben, a trans author writing the Great American Novel; teenager Marissa, kicked out for being bi; and Sam and Brad, a May-September couple who would never have gotten together without a little magic of their own.

Need an excerpt? OK..

Matteo stared out the restaurant window into the darkness of Folsom Boulevard. It was

getting dark earlier as summer edged into fall. Streetlights flickered on as cars drifted by, looking for parking or making the trip out of Midtown toward home.

The sign on the window read “Ragazzi” (the boys), lettered in a beautiful golden script just two months old. Investing in this little restaurant his uncle had left to them when he’d passed away had been their ticket out of Italy. But now with each passing day, as seats sat empty and tomatoes, pasta, and garlic went uneaten, the worry was gnawing ever deeper into Matteo’s gut.

Behind him in the open, modernized kitchen, Diego was busy cooking—his mother’s lasagne, some fresh fish from San Francisco, and some of the newer Italian dishes they’d brought with them from Bologna. The smells of boiling sauce and fresh-cooked pasta that emanated from the kitchen were entrancing.

They’d sent the rest of the staff —Max and Justin—home for the evening. The three customers who had shown up so far didn’t justify the cost of keeping their waiter and busboy on hand.

Matteo stopped at the couple’s table in front of the other window. “Buona sera,” he said, smiling his brightest Italian smile.

“Hi,” the man said, smiling back at him. He was a gentleman in about his mid-fifties, wearing a golf shirt and floppy hat. “Kinda quiet tonight, huh?”

“It always gets busier later,” Matteo lied smoothly. “Pleasure to have you here. Can I get you anything else?”

“A little more wine, please?” the woman said, holding out her glass so the charm bracelet on her wrist jangled.

“Of course.” He bowed and ducked into the kitchen.

He gave Diego a quick peck on the cheek.

His husband and chef waved him off with a snort. “Più tardi. Sto preparando la cena.”

“I can see that. Dinner for a hundred, is it? It’s dead out there again tonight.”

Diego shot him a dirty look.

Matteo retrieved the bottle of wine from the case and returned to fill up his guests’ glasses. “What brings you in tonight?” Maybe they saw our ad.…

“Just walking by and we were hungry. I miss the old place though.… What was it called, honey?”

 Her husband scratched his chin. “Little Italy, I think?”

“That’s it! It was the cutest place. Checkered tablecloths, those great Italian bottles with the melted wax… so Italian.”

Matteo groaned inside. “So glad you came in” was all he said with another smile.

Seen enough?

You can get your copy here!

Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, where our friends at Feathers and Toast perform a mystery mime for your guessing pleasure.  Pop your answer in the comments, and if you guess correctly before Friday Tallulah could perform the mime of your choosing.  Go on, have a go!

Last weeks winners, who all correctly guessed ‘volcano erupting in Hawaii’  are Abbey L Craig, Sarah Venus, Janet Martin, Mairi Sim, Ted Meyer, Richard Goldman and Joe Pranaitis.  Well done you.

We have no clues this week, so just let your imaginations go wild!

Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, where Feathers and Toast performs a mysterious mime for you to guess.  Answers in the comments, and if you get it right before Friday, you could have the mime of your choice performed.

Congratulations to last week’s winners:  Paul Uhler and Geneva Livingstone, who correctly guessed sun rising and shining.

Your clue this week is: something major happening in the world at the moment.

Good luck, Nibblers.

Monday Mystery Mime

Yes it’s Wednesday. We’re sorry, must do better, etc etc.

You know the drill, have a guess, stick it in the comments before Friday.  Answer published next week.

Congratulations to last week’s winners: Janet Martin and Richard Goldman, who correctly guessed sheet falling from a washing line.

This week’s clue is: Hopefully you are experiencing this as we speak.

 

Yet Another Shit Story

Here at Newsnibbles, we can sniff out shit a mile off, and this story drew our attention.

A school superintendent in America has been arrested for defecating on the sports field.  Really.  You cannot make this shit up!  Police launched a sting operation when students and members of staff were complaining that human faeces was being left on or around the sports track on a regular basis.  According to the BBC Report:  Police approached the superintendent whilst he was running on the track (we presume like sports running… anyway) having allegedly just witnessed him in the act.  He has been arrested and charged with “lewdness, littering and defecating in public”.

As, according to the report, he earned $150,000 annually (that’s annually, not anally) you’d think he could afford to have a porta-loo placed on the field for morning runs, or, alternatively, buy some poo bags and take it home.  But then, we’re here to report, not to offer solutions.  He is currently taking paid leave until the situation is resolved.

Newsnibbles, dishing the dirt since 2010.

This is a pigeon. You didn’t really want a picture of poo, did you?

The Grumpy Badger Guide to Going Audio

Recently I have had some success with releasing my books on audio using ACX.  Several colleagues asked me to compile a guide to what I did.  This is by no means definitive, and is based purely on my experience, so I would recommend doing other research too.

A lot of the guides I read about going audio said that you won’t stand much chance of getting a narrator if you opt for the royalty share agreement.  However, I think that quality outs, because I had lots of auditions for my work. And good ones, too. It was really hard to choose.  I think if your work is good the narrator will see potential in it and want to be involved.  This is what I particularly like about the royalty share process.  You’re in it together, so it’s a joint project, you work on it together and market it together.  You are equally invested.  You will have some people tell you that you won’t get a “good” narrator for royalty share.  Well, I have 4 and counting.  Just search C H Clepitt on audible to listen to the samples.

So, here are my tips for going audio.

1. Claiming your books

I’m not going to spend too much time on this, because you can read it in the ACX guidelines. Basically, your book needs to be available on Kindle.  That’s it. You then set up an ACX account and claim your books.  Set them up for audition, following the guidelines.  I would recommend not overwhelming potential narrators with too much information.  Tell them what they need to know about the story and what you will be like to work with. Remember, it’s a collaborative process, and you will be in a contract together for at least 7 years! (Read the terms, all the terms, always read the terms).

2. Start Short

I have had most success with my short stories. They are approximately 5000 words, and about 30 minutes fully narrated.  A narrator is more likely to invest the time in a short and see how it does.  Once they see that you are easy to work with and your writing is quality, they could be convinced to voice some of your longer work.  I am working with several narrators on my short story series, including Lineage, Life Begins at 48 and The Crew Chronicles.

3. Pick a Good Audition Piece

You have a brilliant story that the world needs to hear.  You need the perfect narrator.  The problem is, you only have a short audition piece for them to show what they can do, so pick a good section.  If you have lots of dialogue in your story, don’t pick a piece of plain narration.  Pick something that will show you how the narrator will tackle the tricky bits.  Equally, if you have a fantasy with lots of made up words, pick a bit where they can show you they can get their tongue around it, not the introduction!  Think about what showcases your work best.

4.  Be prepared to work as a team

You’re on royalty share.  You may think you’ve done the hard part in writing the book, but this process is also collaborative.  Review the files carefully, offer feedback when you request changes.  You only get two chances to request changes, so make sure you cover it all.  I find it helpful to make notes as I listen, and time stamp them.  Sometimes the narrator may repeat a word to get it right and forget to cut it.  It’s useful if you can tell them exactly where they need to make the cut.  It makes the process easier and quicker for them, and shows you’re paying attention to what you’re doing.

5. Market your pants off!

It’s just the same as writing. Audiobooks don’t sell themselves!  Get on the social media and market, market, market! A good narrator will help you with this.  If they’ve produced something they’re proud of they’ll want to share it, but they’re busy too, so don’t pressure them.  Remember, you want a relationship that lasts, especially if you’re writing a series!

So, that’s it for my Grumpy Badger Audio tips.  If you have any questions pop them in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer them.

 

Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, where our friends at Feathers and Toast perform a mystery mime for your guessing pleasure.  If you guess correctly before Friday you could be in with a chance of winning the mime of your choosing being performed by Tallulah.  Just pop your answer in the comments.

And well done to last week’s winner: Hadie Mansfield, who correctly guessed an apple being eaten.