Leandra Medine's Blog, page 9
August 13, 2020
Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Menstrual Cups (Including the Best One for Period Sex)
I remember when I first held a menstrual cup in the palm of my hand. It looked like a kitchen tool for a domesticated cat. A goblet fit for a squirrel. I couldn’t for the life of me understand how that small, snappy cup planned to enter my vaginal canal and… stay there?
I remember thinking to myself: I could use a comprehensive, A-to-Z guide on this tiniest of Holy Grails. (Not exactly those words, but you get it.)
With the state of the world being what it is—and with a personal pledge to create less waste in 2020—it feels like there’s no better time to ditch my tampons once-and-for-all for the sustainable alternative. Together with the team at Intimina, a Swedish brand offering a full range of responsibly manufactured products dedicated to menstrual care, I asked those who bleed monthly in the Man Repeller audience for all their questions and qualms about menstrual cups. And lo, did you query!
Below, enjoy a guide from yours truly—made with help from the experts at Intimina, who provided some background on questions from novice menstrual cup users and menstrual cup maestros alike.
1. Finding the Mini Chalice That’s Right for You
The most important information for determining the right cup for you is knowing the length of your, you guessed it, cervix. Cervix height can change depending on the time of month, so measure it with a clean finger during your cycle to be sure you know which size is right for you.
Many menstrual cups come with stems! In the case of Intimina’s—apart from their “Ziggy Cup,” which you can use during sex (more on that later!!!)—you’ll be able to trim the stem to your comfort.
Cups can be used for up to 12 hours, including during sleep, but you may need to change it more often if your flow is heavier. The good news is… there’s a cup for that. And with time, and practice, you’ll be able to determine how often you’ll need to empty your cup—anywhere from 2-3 times a day is recommended.
As far as materials, medical-grade silicone cups are your best bet, since they are hypoallergenic, latex-free, and toxin-free. No microplastics, toxic chemicals, or phthalates, s’il vous plaît! Look for a cup that has been tested and FDA-approved for biocompatibility. Intimina happens to have a queenly starter cup—the “Lily Cup One”—which is, certifiably, a beginner’s best friend. It collapses down to fit into its own carrying case, and even has a removal loop to make sure your first reaction when trying it out isn’t panic! And if you want something even slimmer and slippier, they make a “Lily Cup compact“ which collapses all the way flat and also fits into its own precious carrying case. It’s very cute. Just saying.
2. Safety First, Kids
“What about my IUD?” many asked. I, too, am an IUD proprietor and went down the road of being confused about whether my cup would interfere with the tiny strings at the back of my canal. Fortunately, menstrual cups are held in a lower position than a tampon and shouldn’t interfere with an internal birth control device. Experts told me that. But before jumping right in, if you’re concerned about the placement of your IUD, it’s worth checking in with your doctor to confirm it’s positioned correctly and that its strings aren’t too long.
3. But… How Do You Clean It? Like, Really Clean It.
For me, this historically felt like the biggest barrier to getting a menstrual cup. Getting my hands dirty with my own period blood seemed like an ick! But I had to interrogate what it was about my period that made it feel like it was “dirty” or “gross,” because—pardon me, I’m mounting my soap box—it’s the most natural thing in the world and society told me it wasn’t. Women have been menstruating since time immemorial—and despite the aches and pains and occasional frustration, it is our—dare I say it, beautiful—biology. L’origine du monde. Whenever I get red-cheeked over my period, I just check myself and play this scene in my head.
Okay, now: How to clean your cup! While using your menstrual cup, you can wash it in a sink with mild, PH-balanced soap and hot water. Zing. For a more thorough clean between periods, though, it’s recommended that you boil your cup submerged in a pot of water for 5 to 8 minutes. Many audience members mentioned cup staining as a pain point, and I think I may have the secret sauce! According to an expert at Intimina, mix equal parts 1% hydrogen peroxide and water in a bowl, leaving the cup submerged for 24 hours. After doing so—and before using or storing it!—be sure to wash it with warm water, to ensure that you’ve removed all the hydrogen peroxide residue. Alternatively, a 1:2 part white vinegar and water mixture will work with this method—submerge the cup in it for 24 hours and wash it thoroughly afterwards. If your cup smells like a salt & vinegar chip the next day, boil it in water per the directions above.
4. In the Words of One Responder: “How Do I Clean My Cup in a Public Restroom Without Looking Like I Murdered Someone in There???”
Moons ago, when I first started thinking about a menstrual cup, I imagined cleaning it out in a public bathroom stall and the resulting crime-scene vibe. A flutter of panic!!! Many responses echoed this same fear.
But it doesn’t need to be scary! Wash your hands with soap and water before handling the cup, or consider carrying *coveted* hand sanitizer or antibacterial hand wipes in your bag to get clean before removing it. Chic. If you don’t have access to running water, according to the experts, it’s perfectly safe to empty your cup and wipe it out with toilet paper before reinserting. Alternatively, you can bring your reusable water bottle into the stall with you to do a little rinse. Clean your hands to the best of your ability before leaving the stall, give them a proper wash in the sink, and cartwheel out of there.
5. UGH, Not Leakage
Leaking is not fun or cool. But just a reminder that, in the beginning, it happens! If you’re getting used to a cup, be open to the fact that leaking might be a part of the process. But if you’re still getting grief after that introductory period, the Intimina team recommends the following:
There are two possible reasons for leaks: Your cup isn’t opened up properly—or it’s not positioned correctly. First and foremost, get acquainted with your ~interior architecture~ so you can visualize what you’re doing during insertion. If your cup hasn’t opened up properly, it’s all about getting the insertion method down. First, relax. No tight walls, pls. Try a different fold if the one you’re using isn’t working (here’s a handy vid for that). Run a finger around the edge of the cup’s body to check for any folds. If they’re still there, gently pull or wiggle the stem. If it’s a matter of leakage due to position, experts recommend moving your cup just a little higher toward your cervix.
6. Truth or Lie: You Can Have Penetrative Sex With a Cup In
Lest I lead you astray, it’s important to note: For most cups, it is not a good idea to have sex with it in!
However, Intimina makes a special cup specifically for penetrative sex called the “Ziggy Cup”—WOOT. The first of its kind, actually. It sits high in the vaginal canal, right under the cervix, and it’s shaped more like a diaphragm than other cups. Give it a whirl and tell me what you think?
So… are you convinced that now is the time to get cup’t? Will you join me on this journey to banishing tampons and liners for the sustainable alternative?? I’m fielding additional questions in the comments—and will continue consulting the experts—so drop a thought or feeling anytime.
Ziggy Cup
Lily Cup One
Lily Cup CompactSee All 3
Photography by Aileen Son.
The post Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Menstrual Cups (Including the Best One for Period Sex) appeared first on Man Repeller.
12 Very Comfy, Non-Denim Shorts
You’d think that the short—an abbreviated form of the pant—wouldn’t be such a tough nut to crack, and yet with every summer comes the reminder that enjoying a pair of shorts isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Denim shorts are often the barrier to entry here: once you’ve had your fair share of substandard jort experiences, it makes sense to abandon ship altogether and consider the greener pastures of summer sundresses and miniskirts.
Throughout this summer, I’ve solidified a rotation of excellent casual shorts that are great to wear both at home and out and about (dogs don’t walk themselves!). These shorts are comfortable, versatile, and perfect to pair with your most casual of tees and most dressy of blouses. Check out these twelve options that make a case for being Team Short (no matter your age!), and suggestions of how to style each below.
If you’re well-versed in Instagram scrolling, or have frequented several of the previous shorts stories on this very website, you will find that Patagonia Baggies shorts are truly fan favorites. The women’s style is a bit shorter (there are two inseam options: a 2.5 inch and a 5 inch) than the men’s (with 5 inch and a 7 inch inseam options) — both which I wear. I think of these as the perfect alternative to a pair of denim shorts. Pair these with a crochet tank or a scarf-as-top, and you’ll have quite the “why didn’t I think of that” outfit. Comfortable and really, really cool.
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Athletic shorts are a summer hero, and half the equation of my go-to summer outfit (athletic shorts + a summer blouse). The blouse balances the sportiness of the bottoms so if you’re going to wear these out and about rather than for you know, running, I suggest pairing with an unexpected ruffle blouse or poplin shirt. Or not! Do whatever your heart desires! These shorts also come in a great range of sizes: from XS-3X and plenty of color options. I personally like the simplicity of the black and white but I also love that unexpected shock of chartreuse.
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3. The Barely-There, Yes-Frills Short
Okay, hear me out. I understand these are not for everyone but for someone who’s favorite silhouette happens to be a tree (billowy on the top, minimal on the bottom), I am of the school who adores these extremely lightweight, ruched shorts. Insider tip: these don’t ride up!
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4. The Ruffled Hem with an Elastic Waist
These are shorts I define as borderline pajama shorts—with the right top, they become daywear. My go-to with these is usually a printed short sleeve button-down stolen from my partner, or an eyelet cotton blouse. The yellow or beige options keep them looking classic but I also came across these from La Double J that are on hefty sale and really pack a punch!
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A pair of simple sweat-shorts are more versatile than you may think. I wear mine a few different ways: with a tank, with a blouse and the bottom hem rolled twice, or with a short sleeve cardigan. I like how a cardigan is buttoned-up to contrast these casual shorts, which come in pistachio, lavender, blush, and sand. Pair them with a loafer (and the matching socks Tier also offers) or a strappy sandal.
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6. The Full Set
A set is the easiest summer outfit. These Ganni shorts have matching tops in rose-print, horse-print, and checkered seersucker, which you could swap for a lightweight summer tank and linen blazer if you want to look a tad professional, or a tube top and several necklaces for a summer happy hour. It’s not a bargain set, but if you think you’d wear this a lot of ways and often, I think it’s a cool option. And just look at those horses!
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7. The Khaki
In theory, a khaki short is extremely bland. In practice, Kule’s style with orange piping and ruffled pockets are so fun. I imagine wearing these all the way into fall and dressing them with a sharp pair of black loafers and blazer. They are the most expensive pair in this list, but will do your bottom half well in three-out-of-four seasons. I found a linen-cotton blend option for $40 (and sizes 00-22), too.
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I’ve had my eye on these for many months. They come in black/white or light yellow/white. Because they’re gingham, they also do a lot of the work in an outfit if you want to keep the rest simple. I personally envision either colorway over a one-piece swimsuit, with an oversized button down, mule sandals and sunglasses. That’s a really fun summer look, non?
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I tried to ease up on wearing bike shorts when I realized that that’s all I wore. Now I’ve cut my bike short habit down to two to three times a week (trust me, that’s nothing) but the number of bike shorts I’ve tested over the years is comical. I’m a huge fan of the simple but trusty pair of Universal Standard bike shorts which come in sizes 00-40. You can machine wash them and then tumble-dry, which is a huge deal when you wear bike shorts as often as I do. Another worthwhile mention is this fancy, ribbed pair by Year & Day, so I consider them the black tie of bike shorts. I recently recommended them to a client who was planning a vacation where she was going to be literally bike riding but then going out to a nice lunch immediately after.
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10. The Cargo
When I think of cargo shorts, my mind doesn’t usually go to a cool pair like these. These are certainly not the paternal style that the words “cargo shorts” evoke. They’re a shiny nylon and I can even see them dressed up with a going out top and heels. Or, if you want to be a little ironic, wear a tropical-printed shirt with the sleeves rolled up, along with a couple of pearly necklaces and slides. I’m already jealous of whoever wears that.
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11. The Crochet
I have a borderline overboard obsession with crochet this summer. Normally, I think of crochet halter tops or dresses when I think of crochet, but these handmade crochet drawstring shorts are an alternative to a bike short silhouette. They come in up to eight different colors, sizes XXS-2X, and an elastic waist option, too. They’re not see-through, so you can wear whatever underwear you want (Days of the week? Cartoon characters? Go nuts!). I like them paired with an oversized top, with the front tucked in just so. These make a really great swim coverup, too.
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Pushing the envelope here, but why not try a skort? Outdoor Voices makes my favorite skort — it has a little slit on the side that reveals its true identity. I wear mine mostly with blouses but these are also quite cool with a collegiate vintage sweatshirt or a t-shirt with a necklace or two. Add on a pair of ballet flats or glove shoes to balance out the casual.
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Those are my top twelve suggestions—what’s your favorite way to clothe the surface area from your waist to your thighs these days?
Feature Image via Tier.
The post 12 Very Comfy, Non-Denim Shorts appeared first on Man Repeller.
6 People Who Are Making Instagram, Art, and Fashion Way More Fun
I’ve always loved when people have toed the line between one thing and another. Being at an intersection of two special things—or several unexpected things, even—is the stuff that makes the earth turn. To be eclectic! Multifarious. Boundless. [Insert SAT word here.]
For many artists who would describe themselves as such, Instagram has become a platform for them to show off the many feathers in their hat—in some cases, literally. In the past few years I’ve specifically noticed—via Instagram, my primary platform other than TikTok—a preponderance of artists who have engaged specifically in the Venn diagram overlap of fashion, irreverence, and, of course, artistry. From egg bralettes to shoes with teeth, every time these artists’ pieces slipped into my Instagram feed, my eyeballs would wobble in their sockets for a bit and I would think How did they come up with something this unique???
As a long-time fan of these creative minds, I decided it was time to be a first-time caller. Below, I ask six of the creatives occupying this special corner of the art world (and by extension, the internet) about how they landed where they did and what’s coming up next.
Gab Bois, Montreal, Québec
The Cheeky Québecois Artist Making Bras Out of Tomatoes
What do you consider to be your first Instagram post as an artist?
View this post on Instagram
J'ai fait une ptite série de textures (1/6)
A post shared by Gab Bois (@gabbois) on Nov 14, 2016 at 11:14am PST
I remember being in class when this idea popped up. I started associating different materials that had the same kind of finished look, and began writing them down in my notebook. When I got home that day, I made my first series on textures and I was happily surprised by the results. I kept going after that.
What’s the story behind your favorite thing you’ve made?
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August 12, 2020
Proof That Your Friends Are the Best Dating App Editors
In partnership with Inner Circle.
A portion of proceeds from Man Repeller’s partnership with Inner Circle is dedicated to charitable organizations that support social justice causes and to individual projects by BIPOC creatives.
People say that friends make the best dating app editors for a reason. Sparking intrigue in the hearts of your suitors by way of a dating profile is no easy feat, and there’s nothing quite like a close friend to bounce ideas off of and to function as your system of checks and balances (you’ll repay them with a pint of ice cream, I’m sure).
Two pairs of friends recently proved this theory correct when they documented the experience of setting up two Inner Circle dating profiles: one for Naydeline and one for Steffi, both creative types based in New York City. Their friends Leslie and Tess, who are both spoken for, came in with the assist and lent some authority to the project. Inner Circle is a global app, most popular in England, Brazil, and the Netherlands, for lighthearted people who are serious about dating. Designed to celebrate the nuances of each user, Inner Circle stands apart with its emphasis on facilitating real connection offline, getting you closer to meeting your match in person rather than sinking a lot of time into chatting on-app.
Here, each friend-pair annotated the profiles they made with the behind-the-scenes, sausage-making conversations and thought processes that go into setting up a dating profile that rings true both on- and offline.
Steffi, a site curator in New York, looking for a romantic prospect who can appreciate a pajama shirt worn outdoors
Steffi and Tess teamed up to take on Steffi’s Inner Circle profile. While it doesn’t quite translate on paper, much of this conversation was conducted in British accents. Here are the rules of the road, according to Tess and Steffi.
1. Always pick an even number of photos, for reasons based on gut feeling alone.
Steffi: Let’s do photos. I’m feeling very visual.
Steffi: So the first one I have is on my Instagram. Me at the beach. You know the vibes. I think it’s nice, right? It’s like, not too scandy and then it’s still got my face—
Tess: You’re a highlight in this. You’ve got your angle on lock, my friend.
Steffi: Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. It takes practice. It takes dedication.
Tess: Oftentimes too, this photo of you from your week in L.A., the cheetah-print shirt, it gives me intrigue. I like it. I mean not as much as your first one, because your first one should be clear.
Steffi: Yeah, that was a little blurry. I feel like that one is kind of edgy, cool girl. And then it’s like, “Oh, pajamas as outside clothes. Very innovative.”
Tess: Right, it also weeds out the normies right away.
Steffi: It weeds out the British version of men with fish.
Tess: How many photos do you think is not too many, not too few, but just enough?
Steffi: I usually think four or five, right?
Tess: I personally don’t like five. I like even numbers. Also, what are your thoughts on… do you want to be one of the people who puts a meme as your last one?
Steffi: I feel like that’s not a thing anymore.
Steffi:: For the fourth photo, I think I’m going to put one of me and you, because it’s just one with yourself.
Tess: I like putting a photo of you with somebody else to prove that you are not a bot as the third or fourth photo. I was thinking about that for the first photo, but I can’t stand the “me or her?” dating profile. Anyway, you look so cute. And I look like an eel. It doesn’t matter what I look like. It’s fine. That’s a great picture of you.
Steffi: So iconic. That was a good photo. You also look really cute in that—you’re just like a happy, happy jelly baby.
Tess: I do look happy jelly in that photo. I’m fine with it.
2. Create intrigue with a mysterious job title.
Tess: Do you want to put your occupation?
Steffi: I just wrote “writer.” I didn’t put anything else. Because I feel like people won’t understand what a “site curator” is.
Tess: Hear me out, like that could be potentially—
Steffi: Interesting?
Tess: “What’s a site curator? I would love to learn more about what you curate on your site.” I mean, I don’t know, probably not but…
Steffi: Is that more intriguing than being a writer?
Tess: I actually don’t know.
3. Pick a favorite place outdoors.
Tess: For your favorite place…
Steffi: Let’s do Prospect Park.
Tess: I think that’s cute. It’s also kind of an invite. Because in a pandemic, that’s still viable.
Steffi: Actually, that’s real. Very good point.
4. Be honest about how you spend your free time.
Steffi: How do I spend my free time?
Tess: Basically it says, “Share what makes you interesting.” You’re like, “I have a middle part, love. And it looks good actually.”
Steffi: “I have a natural middle part, and what about it?”
Tess: Oh my God. Imagine having a natural part. That’s a dream. How do you spend your time? Oh my God. Tell them about your 40 jokes a day.
Steffi: Oh my God.
Tess: “I am writing 40 jokes a day for a year, FYI.”
Steffi: Yep. Actually, maybe I should write that. I feel like all my things I do in my free time are just writing different things.
5. Prompt a conversation with a conversation prompt.
Tess: Do you want to do an open question? Maybe like, “Do you do the cooking? Do you do the cleaning?”
Steffi: “What’s your dish-washing process? Describe your dish-washing process.”
Tess: Hang on. That’s not bad, because it’s kind of necessary. You don’t want a guy who just… I’m having this vision of a grown man filling up the sink with water and just dumping plates aggressively and throwing them on the rack—
Steffi: I think the process of washing dishes is a fragile one because what I do is, I put the plug into the sink and then I put the soap in and then I turn the water on, so that the water gets evenly nice and bubbly across. And I feel like that’s not—
Tess: You fill up the sink? That is not common, no.
Steffi: Yeah, because I don’t turn on the sink again. I just use that water. And then I wash all my dishes in that water, which I feel like is not common practice.
Tess: This could be a great way to find a man near Prospect Park with a dishwasher.
Steffi: “Who wants to play mermaids with me?” Wait, that should be the quote.
Tess: That’s a good one.
Steffi: Okay. I’m changing it. I’m changing the profile prompts to: “Do you want to play mermaids?”
Tess: And I think that will naturally attract men who do dishes well.
Steffi: Yes, I do agree.
Tess: Kind of a two-for-one?
6. Hear them out: a philosophy behind withholding your favorite spots.
Tess: I think not adding where you would want to go for a drink could be good, too, because I feel like it’s kind of a miss to meet people who like the same place as you do. Or to depend on them liking the same places as you for your only common-ground trait. It’s so fun to show people places they’d never been.
Steffi: Yeah. That is so much fun. And really, in a place like New York City, there’s always a place you haven’t been.
Steffi: *wrapping up voice* Yay. That was fun.
Tess: Mission possible.
Steffi: Mission possible. Oh my God.
Naydeline, a journalist in New York, looking for a fellow Francophile
Naydeline and Leslie worked together on Naydeline’s profile, while Leslie’s apartment was being haunted by an unidentified presence. They discovered that on Inner Circle, you can find other people who were born on your birthday. Here’s a peek through the keyhole at how Leslie and Naydeline arranged Naydeline’s profile just so.
1. When it comes to photos, make a charismatic first impression.
Leslie: So do you want somebody that you can travel with, or do you want someone to go to museums with you?
Naydeline: Both.
Leslie: Use the one on the boat that I sent you. You look fun, charismatic, and like you’re comfortable in your own skin. I’m a fan of nature.
Naydeline: I’m going to use it, even though I’m wearing sunglasses.
2. You contain multitudes: Allow certain categorizations to be open for interpretation.
Leslie: I’m saying you’re a runner, because you run from the train to class to your internship to back home.
3. Leverage your arts and culture preferences toward your preferred brand of dates.
Leslie: Concertgoer, theater lover, musical fan, art lover. You’re all of it, bro.
Naydeline: If they weren’t so expensive, I’d go to Broadway shows every weekend, I feel like. They’re so cool.
Leslie: I’m going to put “theater lover.” Let’s see if we can get you a man who takes you to the theater.
4. To start a conversation, kindly request some memes.
Leslie: Would you say hi, or hello, or hola? “Hi everybody, I’m Naydeline.”
Naydeline: This isn’t LinkedIn—this is a dating app. You can talk about what I like to do.
Leslie: “I love adventure”? I don’t know.
Naydeline: That’s so corny. Everyone who says “I’m adventurous” on their dating profile is not adventurous. I’m going to tell you that right now. I like to include a little game in my bio, something like, “Send me your favorite meme, or send me your best pickup line.” That’ll help people start a conversation, I guess.
Leslie: “I love memes.”
Naydeline: “I love memes”? Oh my god.
Leslie: “Send me a good meme.”
Leslie: I have: “If I had the time and money, I would travel more.” There are 81 available characters left. Or is this bio enough?
Naydeline: I feel like it ends weirdly. Maybe put some places I want to travel to: “Looking for someone to go to blank with.”
Leslie: You want to go to Paris, I know you’re bothering me about that again.
Naydeline: I do want to go to Paris. I spend way too much time watching Parisian YouTubers.
5. Strategize for a good first date.
Leslie: Where would you like to go for a date? Food?
Naydeline: Yeah. I love that. Honestly, I feel like dates at restaurants can be awkward, but I feel like you also get to know people better.
Leslie: Yeah, and you can get a sense of someone’s manners.
Leslie: Okay, where would you like to go for a drink? A rooftop bar?
Naydeline: To be honest, a rooftop bar. Anything that’s just not that basic, like I don’t want to sit in a dark-ass bar. There should be nice views.
Leslie: Okay, so how about a rooftop bar to get some air and to get to know you?
Naydeline:: Yeah. I like that.
6. Vocalize that you’re open to new places.
Naydeline: I haven’t been to a lot of bars. Unless restaurants with bars count. Can you skip that? I’ve been to like one bar. Is it called Barcade? I think it is.
Leslie: Okay, I said, “My favorite place is a Barcade, but that’s actually the only bar I’ve been to. Looking for fun new bars, any recommendations?” Because that could be a conversation starter.
Naydeline: True, okay. Dating profile pro.
Leslie: Well I’ve never really done this, I’ve only done one dating profile. But it was when I was in Greece and I was dared to, because I’ve been in a long-term, committed relationship
Naydeline: I know, so I was surprised you’re doing so well.
Leslie: Hey!
Ready to get in the mix with Inner Circle? Phone a friend, download the app, and get cracking.
These conversations have been condensed and edited for clarity.
Graphics by Lorenza Centi.
The post Proof That Your Friends Are the Best Dating App Editors appeared first on Man Repeller.
Every Storyteller Needs a Story Listener: Meet MR Book Club Author Akwaeke Emezi
The Man Repeller Book Club is an experiment in connection, in relationships, in bridging the gap between internet friends and real-life, care-package-sending, yall-know-my-middle-name, how’s-your-mama-doin, kind of community. (Really, hit me in the comments, how is yalls mamas doin for real?) We read novels like Akwaeke Emezi’s The Death of Vivek Oji not only because these works of literature are brilliant and lush, but because I believe that if they are read actively, deeply, creatively, then they can teach us new ways to be in relationship with one another.
On the first page of the book, we learn that the market burned the day Vivek, a queer boy coming of age in the political upheaval of Nigeria in the 1990s, died. This is a cold fact, a still life of a life gone to ash, a closed door. Then, on the very next page, time is winded back for us and the door swings opens: “If this story was a stack of photographs– the old kind, rounded at the corners and kept under the glass and lace doilies of center tables in parlors across the country— it would start with Vivek’s father, Chika.” This image is the invitation over the threshold and into the world of the novel.
The choice to shape the doorway of the story this way does not feel like a rhetorical device so much as a setting of terms. Emezi says “The beginning image, the album and the coffee table, that’s something that to me means family history. That’s something that I grew up with. So we had that coffee table with the glass top and the family albums underneath it, and every time we went to visit another family, quite often the first thing would be, “Here, look at some albums.” We understand immediately that this is a story about and in the shape of intimate history, about kin and the blue distance between any family attempting to see and be seen by one another. We understand also that we, the readers, are visitors who can look but not own, who can stay for dinner as long as we wash our own dishes. In our conversation, Emezi and I discuss the ways that this novel tests us and asks us to come to the table, with a spicy tangent on tortured desire because you didn’t think I would be on the phone with the author of Vivek’s hot-ass sex scenes and not get a little PG-13.
(This interview has been edited for clarity and to spare you most of my fawning fan girl, chaotic big crush energy.)
Sarah:
It seems to me that this story’s relationship to the reader is more complex than a simple transmission of information. The reader can’t just walk in and receive the story—the reader has to give up some of themselves.
Akwaeke Emezi:
Yes. I definitely think that, and I think also, it’s an engagement, right? It’s an active thing. It’s not just like, “Oh, here’s the story handed to you,” and you passively take it in. I feel like it’s more active, and I feel like there are things in this book that in order for the reader to engage with them, you have to ask some questions about yourself.
Sarah:
Oh, yes, absolutely. Can you say more about that?
Akwaeke Emezi:
One of the things is, for example, how little Vivek speaks relatively to other narratives in the book. It’s a little test, of sorts. It wasn’t designed as a test, but it does challenge the reader, I think, to ask who they are actually listening to. Are they listening to Vivek, or are they listening to everyone around Vivek and those people’s fears and those people’s perceptions of Vivek? Or are they paying attention to Vivek’s perception of himself?
Are we actually listening to them, or are we listening to all the noise around them?
These are two very different things, and I think it’s relevant because it affects so much of how we engage young queer people and young trans people. Are we actually listening to them, or are we listening to all the noise around them? People’s fears, people’s assumptions, and often these fears will be louder than the person’s voice, just because of the power dynamics in our society, but I want the reader to pay attention to who they’re paying attention to, because if you’re paying attention to Vivek, you come away with a completely different reading of the book than if you’re paying attention to everyone around Vivek. You come away with different ideas of what Vivek’s life is like. Different ideas around the expression and freedom.
Sarah:
Right. I think that that’s one of the reasons for me that this book felt just perfect for the book club because with the book club, I want us to become aware of how the experience of reading the book transforms us. I want us to think like, “I’m making choices within my own reading of what this story means and what it means for me.” The test, then, of this book is to look through all these different eyes at Vivek and then analyze and come to an understanding of why I trusted who I trusted or believed what I believed.
Akwaeke Emezi:
Exactly.
Sarah:
And, as you said, in many ways this mirrors the experience of queer and trans people, especially the youth. Did you consider the possibility of voyeurism in a story that is revealed primarily through the reader gazing on or at Vivek, with very little of Vivek’s own voice narrating his life? It seems like it would have been an easy trap to fall into, but I think you absolutely avoided it.
Akwaeke Emezi:
I actually did not, but I’m really glad that I ended up avoiding it. Because, it’s like, when you’re writing a queer character who is dead from the beginning of the book, there’s a way to do it that felt right, and I feel like voyeurism would’ve been a way to do it that would’ve felt wrong.
Sarah:
Yeah, absolutely, and I think that’s because the looking we do in this world is a unique and active experience. Through reading this book, we’re training ourselves in a way of looking at another’s experience, and yet being consistently placed outside of the dynamic of voyeurism.
Akwaeke Emezi:
I’m so glad to hear that. That makes my day.
Sarah:
You know, I find it really challenging to conduct this interview as an interview, because I just have so many things I want to clap for you about in this book.
Akwaeke Emezi:
I read your book club guide on the website, and I was like, “This is the most thoughtful, tender approach to reading a book that I have ever seen in my life.”
Sarah:
Oh my gosh—
Akwaeke Emezi:
I promptly sent it to a bunch of my friends. One of them texted back, and she was like, “A meditation! Time travel!” and I was like, “Yes. I know, right?”
Sarah:
Well, I think the telling of this story feels so embodied, so generous with its weight! I just felt like it’s not a reciprocal reading for us to not move that same generosity into our own practice of reading the book.
Akwaeke Emezi:
That’s beautiful. I love that… because, look, I think a story isn’t complete until someone receives it. In order for you to be a storyteller, there has to be a story listener. Otherwise, the circle is not really complete, and I’m so appreciative of the chance to engage and talk about the work because I learn so much about the story from people who are reading it.
There’s a gazillion things that I wouldn’t have thought of as I was writing that readers can discern and pull out… It becomes a thing of intersection and reflection for me as well, like your whole comment about voyeurism. I’m just like, “Oh wow.” Absolutely. Especially when it’s like a queer character living in Nigeria. I knew that when I wrote this book that there was a strong chance that people were going to read it because of that voyeurism thing of like, “Oh, let me see how terrible it is for queer people in Africa and how violent it is, and how brutal it is.”
It was a struggle to balance the book in a way where I’m not pretending that it doesn’t suck, but at the same time, I wanted to hold space for the love and the care.
Akwaeke Emezi:
It was a struggle to balance the book in a way where I’m not pretending that it doesn’t suck, but at the same time, I wanted to hold space for the love and the care. It sometimes surprises me when people, what they pick up from the book is like, “Oh, Vivek’s parents fear that he was going to end up as a burned and butchered body,” and I’m like, “Really? Out of everything? That was in the book? That one part was the part?”
And it makes me think about the voyeurs. It makes me think of that specific gaze that wants to look at queer African people and be like, “Oh, poor you, living in a place that’s so intolerant and violent.” I didn’t want to feed that gaze.
Sarah:
These characters are rendered so tenderly that I wondered, do you fall in love with your characters?
Akwaeke Emezi:
I definitely do fall in love with my characters. I’m just like, “Oh, look at my little babies out there in the world. Poor buddies, having such a hard time! I really have a soft spot for Osita.
Sarah:
God, same! Poor li’l guy!
Akwaeke Emezi:
He’s just having a hard time, little buddy! There’s so much tortured desire in him, which is my favorite thing in the world.
Sarah:
Oh hell yeah, tortured desire. So relatable.
Akwaeke Emezi:
So relatable! Like why have simple desire when it can be tortured and stuff?
Sarah:
Exactly.
Akwaeke Emezi:
And he has so much of that in him. He has all these volatile emotions, and really this probably speaks to the folly of my dating choices in the past, that I’m just like, “Yes. Are you angry and guilty, and just not at peace with yourself? I’m into that.”
Sarah:
Oh I totally get that, like, yes you tumultuous dark spirit! You are so troubled and I’m… kind of turned on by that?
It’s kind of hot, to be quite honest, and I think that there’s this idea of tortured desire and fighting against succumbing to it
Akwaeke Emezi:
It’s like, ugh, you’re so not okay. It’s kind of hot, to be quite honest, and I think that there’s this idea of tortured desire and fighting against succumbing to it. This idea of like, “Oh you’re resisting, you’re resisting, and then you surrender, and that moment of surrender is like a victory.” It’s just like, “Yes, you have crumbled at my feet, fantastic!” This is why I really enjoy the scenes with Osita where he does that, where he’s fighting and he’s fighting and then he breaks. I’m like, “Yes, shatter. Shatter into many glorious pieces.”
Sarah:
I know that I absolutely shattered. I’m shattered just thinking about the steamy surrenders in this book. And, now, in a change of subject that has nothing to do with the heat gathering in my cheeks, Let’s end by talking about another “test” in the book.
When we’re thinking about the fugues and the sickness that Vivek experiences. This is another opportunity to have totally different readings. Is the wasting away that he experiences part of some malady related to the sin of his queerness like some of the characters seem to believe, or from repressing his queerness by not living in his “authentic identity” as some readers might suggest, or is there another more complex, spiritual cause?
Akwaeke Emezi:
Yeah, and I think that’s absolutely part of the test we were talking about as well—like, what is the reader bringing to this book? Because as far as I’m concerned, there’s actually no reason to assume that his sickness is because of his gender identity. So then I want the reader to ask themselves, “Why are you assuming that? Is it because queerness is pathologized in your society, and so you think, ‘Well, if someone is young, queer, and suffering, then they must be suffering they’re queer?'”
I’m like, that’s not something that came from the book. That’s something that came from you, because if you actually look at the book and if you actually look at Vivek, like yes, he’s figuring out himself like any other teenager would be, like any other young person would be, any person in their early twenties. It’s a typical coming-of-age thing, but when I hear people say things like, “Oh, Vivek was living an inauthentic life,” who decided that? If anything, he’s expressing himself freely and he’s exploring, and I generally do not understand what’s inauthentic about that because he’s not hiding any part of himself. He looks at himself courageously.
Akwaeke Emezi:
If you want an example of someone who does not look at himself courageously, you could find that in Osita. He’s actually the character who is having trouble expressing himself, who’s pressing himself down, who’s suffering because of that, but no one’s flagging his suffering. I’m just like, “Why?”
These are questions that have to do with the reader, not specifically with the work. That’s one of the ways in which I want the reader to reflect and think about the assumptions they’re making, and why they’re making those assumptions, and who told them those stories that led to those assumptions because the story didn’t come from this book. The story came from somewhere else.
The post Every Storyteller Needs a Story Listener: Meet MR Book Club Author Akwaeke Emezi appeared first on Man Repeller.
You Look Moist: A Photographer on the $3 Lip Gloss That Makes Her Feel “Unstoppable”
Welcome to You Look Moist, a column in which Man Repeller asks cool people with glowing visages how they achieved their supreme hydration (amongst other things). Today’s installment features New York-based photographer Sarai Garcia.
How would you describe your skin?
I have combination skin that doesn’t scar easily. I often have to curb my urge to try out all the wonderful facial oils out there because when I do it throws off my balance of oil and dryness.
How would you describe your skincare approach in general?
My skincare is very minimal and low-maintenance. Whenever I try to add in extra steps, it messes with my skin and makes me break out.
Which skincare products are integral to your routine for achieving your ideal, glowing, well-moisturized complexion, and how/when do you use each of them?
I start my day with Be Transcendent Skin Cleanser for normal to dry skin. I’ll lather it for the length of whatever song I’m enjoying at the moment. Then I follow up with the SuperGoop Daily Moisturizer.
At the end of my day I wash my face with Alaffia Liquid African Black Soap with Tea Tree & Eucalyptus and then moisturize with Trader Joe’s Rose Facial Oil and Supreme Hydrating Eye Cream.
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A post shared by Sarai Garcia (@file.jpg) on May 27, 2020 at 10:00am PDT
What about makeup products?
I live for drugstore makeup! I try to keep my makeup simple and I prefer minimal coverage. I use Maybelline Dream Fresh BB Cream as my foundation. It’s light and lasts me most of the day. For concealer, I love LA Girl HD Pro Concealer. I’ve been using LA Girl since high school and it’s never let me down. Milani Baked Blush is my favorite blush because of its shimmer, which gives me a nice glow. Some days I even put a little on my eyelids for an extra pop. Maybelline Mega Plush Mascara is my go-to mascara because my lashes don’t go stiff no matter how much I pile on. It’s good for daily use.
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What’s the cheapest product you use regularly and love?
Black Radiance Lip Gloss! It’s high shine and makes me feel unstoppable for the price of $3.
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Is there anything you try to avoid, skincare- or makeup-wise?
I avoid cream makeup–blush cream, contour cream, etc.–because it starts to feel so heavy and gross throughout the day, and my skin pays for it. I definitely prefer powder products.
Any next-level tips, tricks, or services that you swear by to help you look “lit from within”?
Okay, I don’t want to be that person, but I swear after I became vegetarian my skin has so much more life–it could just be because I’m more hydrated, though. Also, SLEEP! It’s so important and the number of hours you’re getting is reflected in how your skin looks.
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August 11, 2020
Are Sweatpants Really Forever?
“Sweatpants Forever”—the recent New York Times Magazine headline proved that a drawstring has tremendous potential to scandalize. On August 6th, the magazine’s cover story detailed the unraveling of the fashion industry, accelerated by the COVID-19 pandemic. The narrative centers around Scott Sternberg, founder of Band of Outsiders and Entireworld, and the trials and tribulations of his direct-to-consumer and ultra-popular sweatsuit (you know the one).
In the story, writer Irina Aleksander laid bare how the fashion industry perpetuated its own brokenness, walking the reader through how exactly the wheels fell off. The revelation of how industry stakeholders are teetering on the edge of their own margins rings familiar: the parallels to Gabrielle Hamilton’s well-circulated April 2020 NYT Magazine story about the future of her restaurant Prune, and of New York’s restaurant industry at large, are manifold. In both cases, the pandemic has necessitated an internal reckoning. Aleksander’s story prompts questions of how these brands, and their backers, can shed the bad practices they’ve long relied on, and forge a new and better path ahead. A dissection of a system mid-crumble is bound to leave the reader in search of solutions—at least that’s how I felt while reading it.
The onus is on everyone—the producer, the customer, and the seller—to create, consume and distribute more thoughtfully. I’ve been thinking about the utopian fashion brand as one that sits at the center of this Venn diagram: it’s environmentally sustainable, the range of sizes it offers is reflective of the population, it delivers a quality product destined for longevity in the buyer’s closet, at an affordable price point that stills allows for the company to be profitable and for the company’s employees—from the factory to the corporate headquarters—to be treated ethically and compensated fairly. It sounds like a pipe dream—is it actually?
I’ve found glimpses of optimism bubbling on a smaller scale. I had ordered an OOKIOH swimsuit sight unseen in the mail and, happy with the fit and quality of the underwired Como top and the high-waisted Dominican bottom, had been pleasantly surprised by a rare swimsuit success story. That’s why my ears perked a little when I heard the brand had collaborated with stylist Rachael Wang, and even more so when I read more about it: striving toward the center of that utopian Venn diagram, the collaboration struck me as an example of what fashion’s future could look like. Released in the last days of July, it’s a ten-piece capsule of two one-pieces and eight separates, made from 100% post-consumer waste, recycled nylon and water bottles in this case—Wang has long been a vocal advocate for bringing sustainability to the fore of the conversation in fashion.
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Reading This Will Make You Want to Drink a Frozen Marg With Your Best Friend ASAP
On Nia’s Instagram, she’s captioned a photo with the following: “I always say that Maya is living proof that God is real… on this day he gave me a sister. Maya has been my best friend since I was one, and still is, twenty years later.”
Nia and Maya, best friends since before they can remember, have seen it all together: growing up, attending the same college, living as roommates in the dorm, and eventually getting an apartment with each other. Their mothers, also best friends, brought their families together. They’ve worked with each other at the same retail jobs and speak the same language when it comes to getting dressed, often shopping for each other while shopping for themselves. Last week, we focused on stories about “Love Right Now” and it got me thinking about relationships more generally. I’ve known Nia and Maya for a few years and I’ve always wanted to know how they make their level of closeness work—so I asked them to help explain by doing what they do best: talking to each other about it. (I supplied some questions to help guide the conversation.)
—
What are your first memories of each other?
Maya: I feel like my earliest memory is probably us at preschool getting snacks from the principal.
Nia: We used to always go into the principal’s office. She used to always fix our skirts because they were never right.
Maya: They were twisted around. She’d be like, “Okay, here’s a chocolate-covered pretzel.”
Nia: We used to just go in there and get snacks all the time.
Maya: And our brothers never got snacks.
Are your families close?
Nia: Our brothers are best friends, our mothers are best friends and that’s as far as the best friend situation goes, but we’re a very close family. We vacation together.
Maya: Our moms actually went to college together, but they weren’t friends in college because they were a year apart.
How did you decide to move and go to college together?
Nia: I guess I can answer that. So, Maya was going to the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT), and I definitely was judging her for it.
Nia: I was like, “Why are you going to FIT? That’s so wack. I’m going to USC, blah, blah, blah.” And then when the time came for me to apply to USC, I was not trying to do those applications. I was like, “Hmm, my best friend Maya goes to FIT. Interesting.” And then I applied for photography, and I got in, and I was like, “Wow, me and Maya can now conquer the city together.”
Maya: We didn’t even live together right away. There was a semester when Nia was commuting from Jersey, and I was coming from Brooklyn. And then we got a dorm room in Nagler without A/C.
Maya: [We worked] our first job together and it’s probably the reason we’re both in New York City and in fashion right now. I had just turned 17, and Nia was 15, going on 16.
Nia: And we’re still close with the woman who we worked with, Sharifa Murdock.
Maya: Yep. From Liberty Fairs. We were her little personal interns. We used to sit on her couch and giggle and do little random things.
Nia: And make little jokes and go shopping for her and make her trend forecasts.
Maya: That was my first time ever seeing a trend. She was like, “Guys, make me a trend forecast.” We did not know what that was, but we did it. I think I did a good job, too.
Nia: It was my introduction into fashion. The first and only reason I definitely was like, “This is what I want to do.”
Maya: Yeah. She’s the reason I wanted to work on the business side of fashion. Originally I was like, “Oh yeah, design, styling,” and then it was like, “Nope, look how this lady has her money set up.”
Nia: Exactly.
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I love you bitchhhhh, I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you bitchhhh!!! till the wheels fall offf, to more years of adventures, being bad, and good fits 
August 10, 2020
The Best 9 Bras for Big Boobs, According to People With—You Guessed It—Big Boobs
In the imaginary address book that exists only in my mind, I have several important contact lists:
People to text about Animal Crossing
People to text whenever my favorite T-shirt is on sale
People to text about boobs (mine and theirs)
When you have big boobs (mine are a DDD or F cup) it’s important to have a group of people with whom you can discuss new sports bra trials, complain about unnecessarily backless clothing items, and trade swimsuit recommendations at any given time. Obviously, bras—the good, the bad, and the ugly-but-comfortable-so-who-cares—also come up a lot.
I never have more than a couple of bras on rotation, so I take my recommendation-giving extremely seriously. I’ve spent the last three months switching between this minimizer bra from ThirdLove and this Girlfriend Collective sports bra, which is my personal equivalent of wearing no bra at all. Naturally, I’ve told all my big-boobed friends about both.
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In an effort to widen my circle and remind everyone of the joy that is receiving a personal recommendation from someone with the same underwear struggles as you, I asked the below list of women to tell me about their favorite bra.
ThirdLove Cotton Plunge Bra
Recommended by Mecca James-Williams, a 36DD–H.
What is your favorite bra, and why? Right now, I am a huge fan of Hanro, CUUP, and ThirdLove, and each brand has my favorite styles for different reasons. Right now, my favorite bra is the 24/7 Pima Cotton Plunge Bra from ThirdLove—it fits amazingly! It gives me support and coverage while providing a sheer detailing for cleavage. It’s super comfortable, and during these quarantine slumbers and weight fluctuations, it provides me with such a good fit.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? My biggest bra pet peeve are thin straps that dig into your skin.
If this is your #1 bra, do you have a runner-up or second honorable mention? My runner-up is The Temptation Spacer Bra from Hanro. This bra fits my boobs and provides the perfect amount of cleavage when I’m going out. My third honorable mention is CUUP Scoop bra—the material & feel are everything.
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CUUP The Balconette Bra
Recommended by Lulu Bonfils, a 36G
What is your favorite bra, and why? I have so many go-to bras and favorites for different reasons. I love the CUUP bras for day to day, I love the True and Co. bra for at home comfort, and I love Lonely Lingerie bras for comfortable detailed lingerie.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? My biggest bra pet peeve is a bra that doesn’t secure when you’re bending over and your boobs immediately fall out—it’s not the most practical for day to day.
If this is your #1 bra, do you have a runner-up or second honorable mention? My honorable mention would be the Savage X Fenty unlined bras. Unlined bras are my favorite and all I ever wear, and they have a great variety of prints to mix and match.
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The Great Eros Triangle Bralette
Recommended by Patricia, a 38C
What is your favorite bra, and why? I usually prefer going braless, but whenever I need some extra support, I always reach for my Eros triangle bralette by The Great Eros. I love that it’s the perfect mix of comfortable and stylish. Wearing this gorgeous bra makes me feel confident, sensual, and powerful.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? I hate when bras have underwire that dig into my side. This bra is great because it offers the support I need with the comfort of a bralette.
If this is your #1 bra, do you have a runner-up or second honorable mention? My runner-up is the Pansy Co bralette in mauve. It’s made from soft organic cotton and makes the cutest set with any of my Pansy Co high-waisted briefs. It’s been my comfy cute go-to for ages.
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True & Co Lifting Seamless Wirefree Triangle Bra
Recommended by Nora Taylor, a 36G
What is your favorite bra, and why? Pre-pandemic it was the CUUP Demi, but right now it’s the True Lifting Wirefree bra. This is maybe my favorite bra that doesn’t feel like a bra. It’s comfy, adjustable, AND I feel like I can wear it under a tank top and leave the house (lol)—the holy trinity of a quarantine bra situation. The lift isn’t like a Wonderbra lift, just regular style support that minimizes movement when I walk while still being very very comfortable. I have fallen asleep in this bra more times than I care to recount.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? Being generally uncomfortable?! Digging into my armpits, probably.
If this is your #1 bra, do you have a runner-up or second honorable mention? Oh, great, I’ll talk about the CUUP bra now. Let me just say that it’s not uncomfortable or anything—it really truly is one of the more comfortable bra-bra options out there—it’s that I’m just not in the emotional space for an underwire at the moment. But yeah, I love this bra! It’s sexy but easy to wear all day. It’s supportive without being too molded and feels very breathable.
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ThirdLove Lace Contour Plunge Bra
Recommended by Katie Sturino, a 40DDD
What is your favorite bra, and why? I wear this one from ThirdLove.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? I hate when an underwire digs into my pit! I just won’t wear that type of bra.
If this is your #1 bra, do you have a runner-up or second honorable mention? The Girlfriend Collective sports bra!
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Chantelle Parisian Allure Unlined Plunge Bra
Recommended by Tiffany Wilkinson, currently a 32H/34G at eight months pregnant.
What is your favorite bra, and why? For the past 10 years, I’ve been a ride-or-die Chantelle girl—they used to make a bra called the Chic Sexy, which I loved. (It’s sadly been discontinued, but if you can find one in your size, snap it up). During pregnancy I tried to put off shopping for new bras, knowing that my body was going to keep changing, but I was getting so uncomfortable in my old ones that I pulled the trigger on this style from Chantelle that seems to be an update on the old style I loved. It’s been one of the best purchases of my pregnancy, a real workhorse. I basically wear it every day except when it’s in the laundry. It’s supportive, the underwire doesn’t dig in, and I feel sexy in it.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? I really dislike padded or foamy bras, however many of the sheer mesh-cup bras don’t have enough structure or support in the cup, so all the work of holding up your boob is left to the underwire and the straps. Then those parts start to dig in. I love how Chantelle bras are un-padded but have enough structure in the cup to support my breast comfortably and in a flattering shape that looks good under clothes.
If this is your favorite bra, do you have a runner-up? This one from Fortnight offers loads of support without an underwire. The bralette category is often sized medium, large, XL, etc. This doesn’t really account for a smaller band/bigger cup ratio, so you end up with a loose band or a too-small cup. This bra gets a lot of support from the longer line band and sturdy mesh, and it comes in proper bra sizing so you can get the perfect fit.
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Savage x Fenty Unlined Bra
Recommended by Micaéla Verrelien, a 34D
What is your favorite bra, and why? Savage x Fenty has some of my favorite bras. Not only are they comfortable, but they’re also so pretty, which has helped make me feel sexy even underneath my clothes…. It’s helped boost my confidence.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? My biggest pet peeve when it comes to wearing a bra is to actually have to wear a bra. The feeling of having something hold you up all day has never felt right with me. Reasons why I love Savage x Fenty is their bras actually don’t feel like you’re wearing anything, which is exactly what I want!
If this is your #1 bra, do you have a runner-up or second honorable mention? The only honorable mention I can give is to my mom for my genes and her telling me to sit up straight. Posture has a lot to do with how your breasts stand up. It has helped my breasts stand on their own, with or without a bra.
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Savage X Fenty LoveLace Unlined Bra
Recommended by Jessica Leahy, a 36E
What is your favorite bra, and why? I love a good sports bra— I think it’s the number-one wardrobe investment anyone with boobs has to make. When you feel like you can move swiftly without risk of being smacked in the face by your own nipples, it’s quite literally a game changer.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? I guess for me the biggest pet peeve I have is just generally uncomfortable bras that keep circulating in my wardrobe. You know, the ones you only wear occasionally and once you’re too far from home you remember it’s the scratchiest, most ill-fitting thing, and you hate yourself for forgetting. Now when that happens, I take that bra off the second I get home and put it in the charity bin so it can’t trick me into wearing it again!
If this is your favorite bra, do you have a runner-up? I guess if my sports bra is all about function, then for something pretty I can always hit up Savage x Fenty. I know they have really inclusive sizes, and I just generally love the sexy styles that are also really supportive.
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MeUndies U-Back Bralette
Recommended by Sydney Grace, a 40D
What is your favorite bra, and why? My favorite bra is the MeUndies U-back bralette because it’s supportive but has no cups or underwire, so it’s super comfy! I’m normally #freethenip, but if I am wearing a bra, it’s almost always one from MeUndies.
What are your biggest bra pet peeves, and how does this bra avoid them? My biggest bra fit pet peeves are straps that don’t stay put and feeling like I’m being suffocated by a tight band! Anything that makes me continually readjust usually results in me promptly taking off said bra, but the MeUndies bralettes are no-frills and no adjustments needed.
If this is your favorite bra, do you have a runner-up? Yes! My runner-up is the True & Co True Body Lift Scoop Neck Bra. It’s super soft and comfortable, and I’ve even worn mine out as a tank before!
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Feature Image: Mecca James-Williams, Photographed By Sabrina Santiago
The post The Best 9 Bras for Big Boobs, According to People With—You Guessed It—Big Boobs appeared first on Man Repeller.
This Hair Mask Is the Definition of “Instant Gratification”
Like a seal trained to wave my flipper in exchange for a quick hit of mackerel, I have learned to not only love instant gratification but also expect it. I’m surrounded by things designed to facilitate it–microwaves, Netflix, refined sugar, social media–which is why most beauty products feel slightly disappointing, even if they work. Most tend to show results over time, or dispense their impact via subtle micro-improvements. Few provide the reality TV show-worthy “before and after” oh-my-goodness-can-you-believe-I-lived-without-this-for-so-many years balloon cue moments that I crave. That’s why the ones that do feel like something akin to witchcraft.
Such was the case with a new hair mask I tried for the first time in February–the Offline 3-Minute Hydration Hair Mask from IGK. I’ll admit–I was already predisposed to want to like it because of the whole “3-Minute” thing. I’m not a big masker in general–hair or otherwise–because I don’t have the patience to wait the requisite amount of time recommended before washing it off. But three minutes? That sounded doable, so do it I did.
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I’m a big fan of IGK products in general, but I always set my expectations low when trying anything new in my hair (because of my hair texture, I’m very particular about what I use), and I honestly wasn’t sure what could really be accomplished in the time in takes me to listen to 80% of a hit Justin Bieber single. Needless to say, expectations were more than exceeded by the time my hair dried a few hours later. It looked like my curls had been dipped in shine juice after receiving a diploma from the international school of bounce. They were the perfect amount of plump and defined without being overly crisp. It felt too good to be true–a strange fluke of the hair gods–so I tried the mask again the following week, and was surprised and delighted to confirm it was not.
The mask has since become a permanent part of my hair care routine. I use it in place of conditioner a couple times a month, and it has saved my hair from winter dryness and summer sun damage to equally satisfying effect. Also, a little goes a long way, which is much appreciated as someone who typically goes through conditioner at an alarming rate (when the instructions on the back recommend a “nickel-sized dollop,” they’re definitely not talking to me). Do you have a favorite game-changer hair mask? Drop it in the comments below so I can try it for my next seal trick.
The post This Hair Mask Is the Definition of “Instant Gratification” appeared first on Man Repeller.
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